Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP33: Can we start with the f**king clocks....

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

S03 EP33: Can we start with the f**king clocks....More (mis)adventures in parenting hell with Rob and Josh. Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL:��[e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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to the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener with your tips, advice and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, tipe, their tri-a, their, their, their, their, can their, can their, their, their, their, their, tri-a, tri-a, trie, trie, trie, trie, tri, tri, tri, trie, trie, trie, trie, tip, tip, tip, their tip, their tip, tipes, trie, trie, tri-a, tri-a'''-a'-a'-a'iii., toe. to to to to to to to to to tri about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing.

Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Okay, can you say Rob Beckett and Josh Whitacum? Rob Beckett and Josh Whitacum, can I have the car keys now? Yes, home before 10. What is that? Are we an American sitcom now? That is. Emily Byrne. I am a big, big fan of your show. Listening to your struggles makes me relive my early days with her son, Cormack. Cormac? Like Cormac McCarthy, you guys keep me laughing. The little ones trying to say your names are lovely. Such a shock when my son's voice changed from when he was a little

angel to who is this man in the house. When Cormac was little, my friend advised me to enjoy to enjoy every stage he was growing up. I'm still having fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun. I'm still still still still still still still still still still. I'm still a fun. I'm still. th. I'm still. thi. I'm still thi. I'm a thi. I'm a thi. I'm thi. the the thi, my thi, my thi, my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm ty. I'm try. try. ttttttry. tttttttttry. ttttttttttttttthe. I. I'm still having fun with this kid. This is such an American attitude. I'm still having fun with this kid. Come on already. Get off the sidewalk, you shmuckle, Cormack already. So it's robbed there because we seem to have crossed lines with them. I'm in such a fucking weird mood mate. Oh my head's all over the gaff. Is that because you've been working as a New York taxi driver? You haven't just finished a shift shift a shift a shift a shift a shift on a shift on a shift a shift on a shift on a shift shift on a shift a shift shift on a shift a shift shift a shift shift a shift on a shift a shift a finished a shift on Baradaway. Hakona Matara. They're from Brooklyn, aren't they? The waterhog and the Mircat from the line key. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I made sure he got his driver's license as soon as he could, the car keys are my best leverage these days. Pittsburgh. No. Ever been Never been to Pittsburgh. So someone's listening to us with a son called Cormack in Pittsburgh, America. Too bloody right. What are states Pittsburgh?

Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh's Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh's Pennsylvania. Is that right? I just said that. Like you know when you're like, is that right? Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh's, you're sweating a bit and it'll be like, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh's Tennessee under your arm. It is Pennsylvania. It is Pennsylvania. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's so so so so so so so. It's so. It's so so so. So, like, the so so so so so so. So, the so. So, the so so. So, the so so. So, the so so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so, the so, the so, the so, the so, the so, the so, the so, the the the the the the the the the some. So, the so. So, the so. So, the so, the so. So, the and it'll be like, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Tennessee under your arm. It is Pennsylvania. I'm absolutely delighted with that, Rob, what a stuff. I love an American city. The most excited I'll ever be is when I land in American City and then you just get in a cab and you drive to the center of it.

Philadelphia is amazing because you fly over their sports stadiums. I've the the their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I love th. I love thoovadoe. I love thoomomvadoe. I'm th. I'm thoomoloombago. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is their. I is their. I is their. I is their. I is their. I is their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm their. I'm their. I'm th. I'm to. It's is to. I'm t. I'm ta. I'm absolutely. I'm absolutely. I'm absolutely. I'm absolutely. I'm absolutely. I'm absolutely. I'm absolutely. I'm absolutely. I'm absolutely. I'm ta. I'm stadiums. I've told you about this before I have an eye. You love a sports. Mate, I love a sports stadium from a train. Imagine it from, I take it from the fucking train, man. A stadium from the air. So basically, they've got, I swear, I don't know if I've told you this, but they have their baseball, hockey, and NBA, and NBA, and NBA, and NFL, and NFL, and NFL, and NFL, and NFL, and NFL, and NFL, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've, I've their, I've, I've their, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've.............. I's, I's, I's. their, I's. their, I's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm, I'm. I'm all together like a giant industrial estate like an IKEA and a Costco type vibe and in the middle of it is a massive bar that all of the fans go and get pissed then they go to the games. It sounds absolutely awful Rob. It's a matter.

Oh shut up you love it. You love getting pissed and watching sport. I do enjoy games. This is why we get on. Because if you bought me you bore me, I'll just thinning a beer down your neck. I know, that's weird, isn't it, because you have been drinking through these podcasts. That's the worst thing. I've come back from Dubai. I got pissed every night, Josh. Did you? I'm exhausted. Yeah. So tell me tell me about that Cormac. Let's knuckle it down. Where's Cormac going? What do you need the car? I'm gonna get an Uber.

Let me send you this picture of Philadelphia from the sky. It's great, you'll love it. It's really exciting. Just look at, I flew over that, Josh. How many. How many? You can feel it. Can we start with the fucking clocks? Yes, we start with the fucking clocks. It's the worst thing in the world. It's horrible. Whoever came up with it needs to be tried for war crames at the Hague

because it is fucking... Genuinely, it is the worst thing anyone has ever done is... I don't know if it works better in spring. I can't remember because I never know which way it's going. Whatever the way the clocks go, if you've got kids, your weeks fucked. Yeah, that's basically what it is. Awful. I woke up at 5 a.m. And then my kids come in saying, I'm hungry.

And they was like, they was like, I'm hungry. You can't be, it's 5.m. It's 5.m. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. It's 5. That. that. that. That. It's 5. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's 5. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It'sthat's three hours ahead. I'm four hours back. Oh mate. I went about at half eight last night. We went to a Halloween party. Everyone was exhausted because you have to wait till it's dark to do a trick or treatin. And with a free... The Halloween is not for young children, I don't think. Also you can't go fucking changing the clocks the night before tricklea' the night before. Because because because the night before the clock. Because the clock. Because the clock. Because the clock. Because the clock. Because the clock. Because the clock. Because the night. Because the night. the night. the night. the night. the night the night the night the night th. the night th. th. thi. thric. the night, the night the night the night the night the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I's, thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thr-I's thr-I's thr-I's thr-I's thr-I's they. We's their the thr-I's their thr- it's really seven. Exactly, your whole bath time's ruined and I'm walking a long street with the kids crying, carrying them because they're tired and then there's like teenagers, like 13 year old, dressed as aliens spraying squirty foam, green squirty foam, and I literally said to my head, and I literally said to my head, if one salt. And the ultimate salt has an end by him. The ultimate salt went back and punched a teenager.

Have you seen the photo of the sports tater from the sky? Oh no, let's have a look. Imagine flying over that Josh. Oh wow. Look at that. Lots of parking. Tailgate, mate. to sport get absolutely off their face, watch the sport, then drive home. Must be over the limit. I can't believe it. I don't really like drinking when I go to the football. Because you go to the football, and then you'd meet someone for drink and you have two pints beforehand and then you can't drink in

the stadium. So basically you're just sobering up at a football match. You just have to sneak it in. When Grimsby played Palace, in Palace, obviously because Lloyd's a grinsy fan, he got his tickets but in the way end. So I had to go in the away end, even though Palace is probably the closest club. And then it's all quite lady in the away end. And I went to took it out and drank, and got absolutely battered in 45 minutes. Oh, Rob. It was one of the greatest 45 minutes of my life. Grimsby v. Palace, one of the greatest 45 minutes of my life.

What would be the best 45 minutes of your life? Well, I illegally drunk two bottles of beer at Grimsby v. Pallas. And that was one of the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best thiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. It was th. It was thi. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was thi. It was thi. thi. It was the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. totea. totea. thea. thea. thea. thea. It was one. It was one. It was one. It was And that was one of the best 45 minutes of my life. Well, maybe top ten. No, no, no, no, that has been kind to my life. Top 25. Okay. So, how are you with the clocks? You screwed. It's shit. It's shit. It's shit. It's shit. It's shit. It's shit. It's all the so my son has been waking up between 4.45 and 530.30. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's shit. It's shit. It's shit. It's. It's shit. It's. It's shit. It's. It's shit. It's. It's shit. It's. It has been waking up between 445 and 530. But when that becomes between 345 and 430, that is off the scale unfair. How do breakfast DJs do it? I think you have to be slightly insane. I did a week on XFM breakfast once.

Yeah. And I would would say the opposite end of my life scale to Grimsby versus Crystal Palace. It was the worst week, not because the shows were perfectly acceptable because that's the bit when you're kind of engaged, and then at 10 a.m. you're like, well what the fuck do I do in my life now? I'm jet lagged. Yeah, your pace. I think you have to to accept the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. their th. th. th. to to to bea. to to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah............................................................................................................................... jet-lagged. Yeah, you're basically. I think you have to accept the jet-lags for your life. Working in radio, right, where the best job you can get is the worst job. It's just insane that that's the way it works. You know, I've got a lot of respect Justin Morales, she used to a radio show on Radio Manchester or something. It was a two-hour show and then because it all

changed to four hours during COVID because it was less people in the studio and you know everyone doing their bit. Anyway they've stuck with that now and Justin Moraz has gone. No leave it. I can't be a hast. Four hours is a long time on your own playing songs that, let's face it, you normally don't get to pick and pretending to love life. Like five days a week, four hours. I know it's not like a long shift in a proper job, but four hours is a long time, isn't it? Just talking to yourself. And Rob, yeah. I've been spending far too much time with the guy that does the 3 a.m. the 3 three three three three three three three three three three to three to three to to th. to th. to th.m. to.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t.e. t. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. the guy that does the 3 a.m. till 7 a.m. on six music when I'm up and I just feel for

him. Who's the guy doing the, so someone's doing 3 a.m. till 7 a.m. I think that must be his shift because Lauren, I know he's 7.30 he finishes because that's when Lauren Verne starts. Oh also you know Lauren Verne she does a bit of Desert Island disc now. She's gone look guys I'm a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I's thi. I's th. I'm thirty. I'm thirty. I'm thi. So so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so. I's thi. I's thi. I's th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thee. I'm the. I'm the. So. So. So. I'm thi. So. So. Island Disse now. She's gone, look guys, I'm busy, I'm a big dog now, I want to come in at 730. Oh, 730 AM is an absolute power play. I know, all that happens is that poor bastard who's been there since three? It's like, oh, fucking Elivern. Would you have told you this before? When, when when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, th. When, th. When, th. th. th. When, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Bunton used to co-host the Heart Breakfast, he'd start half an hour before her.

I'm opening up the shop. Yeah, I'm opening up the shop. Well, actually, it's good I'll get paid extra as a keyholder. As a keyholder for Heart FM, I actually get a little bit more money than the Spice Girl. Oh my gosh. Really? That first half hour on your own. So every time I do? Who does art though because Amanda Holden's knocking about Kelly Brooke. Yes. Amanda Holden and Jamie Thickston isn't it? When's actually Roberts and Kelly Brooke are knocking about as well. Are they cover?

I'm not across the heart radio schedule schedule. I only know the thinks didn't hold the heart radio schedule. Heart radio schedule. Breakfast. I'm thirt th. I th. I to th. I th. I th. th. th. th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th. Who th does does does does does does th does th does tho tho tho does does does does tho does tho does tho does does does does does tho does does does does does does does tho does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I th. I the the the the th. I the the th. I tho. I th. I th. I tho. I tho. I tho. I'm not tho. I'm not th. th. th. I only know the Thexton and Holden because I went on. Let me have a look at the Heart Radio schedule. Heart radio schedule. Breakfast, 6.30 till 10 a.m. That's 3.5 hours. Theekston and Holden. I can't imagine Holden getting up early. It doesn't say in the description, MB. Please know Amanda Holden doesn't arrive till seven. Mark Wright does 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. or do you prefer, you've got to do one Rob. Yeah, alright. 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. every day or 6 a.m. to 10 a.m.

I think I'd have to take 7 till 10. Yeah. I did radio too. Do you know there's a bloke actually called Paul Gambucini. I did. I thia. I thine. I thine. I thine. I thine. I thine. I thia. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to th. I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I to. I to. I. I. I to. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. tod. tod. today. today. ta. ta. ta. today. today. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Paul Gambuckey. Of course he's a very famous bloke. I didn't know him. I thought that Paul Gambitini was just like a funny name. Like you know, what's he called? It's a bloke who's got a, uh, Inglebert Umperdink. He's a geyser. Yeah, of course he is Rob. I didn't, I thought it was like a funny name people put together like Joe Blogs. But they're real blokes! Yeah. Yeah, anyway, I didn't know. Do send in your people that you didn't know are real until you found that. Monty Darden, Paul Gambuccini, Engelberg, Humperdink, am I? People that you didn't think were real, actually are real.

Send them in. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber 1 for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 499 a month. Savings may vary, eligibility and member terms apply.

So yeah, the clocks, yeah. The clocks are screwed you, but so you're getting up between 345 a.m. It was 4.m. thr. It was 4.m. Okay. That is very early, isn't it? Yeah, we tried to sell it. No, no, no, it was 4. It was was 4. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was 4. It was. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. C. the c. the c. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Clo. Clo. Clo. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Clo. C. Clo. Clo. Clo. Clo. C. Clo. C. Clo. C. Clo. Clo. C. C. C. Clo. C. C. Clo. Clo. Clo. Clo.30. It was 430. Oh, actually, what are you moaning about? Come on, mate, this is supposed to be people feeling sorry for you, here? You're like, you wake up at 4.30, thing. It's only two hours to the Jamie Thiexton, Amanda Holden Breakfast Show. Ian Wright always used to be late when I used to do rock and roll football on a Sunday, right? It was just me for four hours on my own and then eventually they paired me up with someone because I slowly go insane and started. Now I've realized why you're so angry at the four hour radio shows you've lived it. I don't know. I've lived it. I did

two hours on a Sunday afternoon. Anyway, basically I used to do it on my own without guests, just four hours, two to six. Eventually they let me have guests and then Matt Dyson, I did it with Matt Dyson, was like, sort of a... Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, he doesn't afford it. Then I moved to the Saturday, but originally the Saturday, but originally the Saturday was like a bit more like soccer Saturday, they had like a bit more, they had like, to the, to be, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, to, and, and, and, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, and, and, to, to, to, to, and, to, to, to, to, to, and, to, and, and, to, and, and, and, and, to, and, to, to, to, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the if you do the Sunday if that makes sense. Is this a logic problem Rob? No, no, it's amazing. Is the doctor the mum? Is that what it was? It's worth it when you're Let me explain again. They did every Saturday. end to the season. I was going to replace him on a Saturday. They were moving on and then there was a new guy coming in on the Sunday. their Sunday. thrown. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the their. their was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was. the their was was was was. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Was. Was. Was. the the the the the the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the the doctor. the the doctor. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the football season, normally there's games on a Saturday and a Sunday, it ends on a Sunday and every game's on a Sunday at 3 o'clock. So the main Saturday show switches, and then I would cover the Saturdays, the Saturdays,

and then I would cover the Saturdays, the Saturdays, so I'm out for dinner and the Saturdays, so I'm out for dinner and drinks and my friends in London, anyway. I'm walking through so-so-in and the wee I go into a bar for a wee I walk into the good-bye party for the absolute radio soccer Saturday show all the people that are going and are now I'm doing that Saturday I walk in for a piss start pissing everyone I've pissed all I pissed all over I think of you guys I walk in and it's... So, Ian Wright, Perry Groves, who else are we thinking? Russ Williams was there, a few other like ex-foot,

but I can't remember who it was, but it was like a little tip. Perry Groves at Russ Williams, Ian Wright and all that. Anyway, so I walk in and it's so awkward because they all think I've's taking over. I didn't know it and I was like oh hi guys you're right and yeah okay you come for a drink because they mean the main bit of the bar or did you walked into like a you were into a bunch a pub no it was a pub in Soho but quite quiet and they had like about eight of them in a corner and I was fucking quiet. They were mourning the death their radio show god there was quiet. So that that th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. It's th. It's th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was like thi was like the th. It was the the the the the the the their was like their was like their was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. It was they. It was they. It was a they. It was a they. It was a th. I was a th. I was like. I was like. I was like, th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. I was th. I was the the th. I was th. death of their radio show. God, it was quiet. So thanks for listening today to the radio hell podcast.

We just talk about experiences on the radio. Right, kids. Let's talk about kids, Josh. You're getting up at 4.30am, correct? So Rose gets up to feed at 4.30, and we try and push through. The horizontal sleeping at the bottom of the bed's not working th th th th th th th th th th th the horizontal sleeping at the bottom of the bed's not working anymore Rob. So where are you? Well, I just kind of hang around until we, until he, we realize he's definitely not going back to sleep and then I take him downstairs. So I went, I went down, it was only quarter to six that I went down this morning Rob. But you've been hovering since 430. I've been, yeah, in and out of sleep since 430. It's, it. It's, I. It's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. The day is so fucking. And also, I want to talk about how I like to withdraw every complaint I made in the first

year of this podcast because anyone with one kid who fucking complains. I knew I was waiting, I didn't want to get it out of you, but I was waiting for this moment for the penny to drop, go on. It's a piece of fucking piss. One kid is a piece of piss. Is that what you're saying to our poor listeners are struggling with their first born, Josh? No, what I'm saying is if you're struggling with the first born, don't double down. Don't go all in. I've been thinking a lot about this. So it's in one way obviously it's much easier to go from one to two. Yes. Which is that you've

already lost your life. Your life is already over. Your life is already over so it's much easier. The ship is sinking what is a few more gallons of water on it? Exactly. So on that front I don't ever think I wish I was in a bar on a Saturday night. I never think that. No. No. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that front, I don't ever think I wish I was in a bar on a Saturday night. I never think that. No, no. It hasn't entered my mind. However, it's so difficult. Even during an hour in the morning with a five-month-old and a four-year-old. It's insane. How are all the nicknacks going? Because you're youngest isn't walking yet. Yeah. That's my problems, yeah. No, oh! So, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So, no, no. So, no, no, no. So, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. So th. No. So old. It's insane. How are all the knick-knacks going? Because your youngest isn't walking yet. Yeah. No, oh so this is the thing. He's going to a face, he doesn't want to be put down. It's unbearable. You can't put him down. Like an old dog that keeps coming back.

Taking him to the bed. He doesn't want to be better down. He's turned a corner again, I'll run over. But he's so constantly wants to be held? Constantly wants to be held. So it's like a kind of... It's like a task in Big Brother, where they can't put the baby down for four days? Does the bouncer work? Ten minutes max. He's teething. This is a thing he's teething. Oh no. Yeah and my daughter teething wasn't a big deal.

Can I can I say something Josh? Yeah. I your daughter is a very calm, chilled, measured child. She's not very chilled, right? A bit like my oldest, right? My youngest is slightly demented. I think this is all the hallmarks of a very busy mad second one. And I'm going to predict... I don't need this. I don't need this chat. I don't need the predictions. I'm going to... I'm going to predict. I don't need the predictions. I'm going to... I'm going to... I'm going to... I'm going to have to put a fucking the... About 12 months when he's walking about, your knickmacks are fucked. They are going to have to, you're gonna have to put high shelves up. There's no way the knickmacks around your coffee table will survive the second one. That's my prediction.

Okay, we'll see. Because I still can't believe they survived your first ball. They've easily survived her first born because she's just not interested in time or I think boys are different. Boys have this mad-eyed energy that my youngest daughter's got somehow so it's not all boys but she punches me Jack. Jack why did you call me Jack? Why have you called me Jack? She won't just be Jack? She punches me Jack? She does punch me that. She keeps head me Jack. You're all right. She does punch me though.

She keeps head biting me and like punching me. What your daughter? Yeah, and then goes, and puts her red on my head and goes, grouse and I go. Not like a kind of razor rodic wood and a kind of melee, like, you know, like, you know the beginning bit of like Danny Dyer's deadliest men when they're doing a bit to the camera to show how hard they are. Right. I said, well I didn't let him be clean, well lean on my head and grow, she growls at me and I go stop fighting. Do you know what she said to me? I'll never stop fighting. That's something out of a the. That is amazing. So yeah, I mean maybe it's a second born or it's just personality, but I think what you've

got in your hands here is a- He was not more chilled than her up until we've had the basic, the absolute shitstorm of will not be put down combined with the clocks going back. And teething. And teething. But I think will not be being put down is seemingly related to teething. Yes. Have thtelling myself that. Have you tried for teeving? Cold things, like put stuff in the fridge and give it to them.

That's quite good for their teething. Yeah. If you mean cow poll, there. Yes. I mean cow pole every four hours of cow pole and read the label, we're not giving anyone advice and you can slip in a little neurofin on the two hours swap-po. Neurofin and cowpole are fine on two hours each. Apparently, I wouldn't say that to make your own mind up.

I've been told that by a respected Backstreet. That's what they they tell you're are are are are their they're they'retell you the chemist. It's fine. I've done my own reading actually. Also, here's a few facts about climate change for you, Rob. I've done my own reading on the vaccination guys actually, so I've done my own reading on the cow poll. I've done my own research on Facebook, so you know, I'm pretty well informed on the old cow to pole. Rose's panic on the cow pole. doors with her first child the feeling that were you to give 2.6 that's it it felt like if you were to give them 2.6 milliliters in roses world dead like really she's really on it yeah I'm a more relaxing measurements are we like it's three hours 50 she'd be like yeah we can't do it and you're like come on they're gonna give you a fucking buffer zone in case anyone fucks it up it's not like 2.5 stops your headache

2.6 kills you that's not how it works but do read the cowpoll and follow all the instructions on the cowpoll yeah yeah of course absolutely or no because we we needed a cow pole when we were abroad so it went into just like Dubai chemist and they gave me like Arabic Cowpole which had a different name but it was it felt quite exotic. It really felt like being abroad. How was Dubai Rob? Okay so Dubai I went out for people don't know I went out let's do a gig but but some people take a tour support and tour manager I took my entire family. So you eat to holiday out of it we was there for seven days to to to to to to their. to their. told. told. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. I was their. I was to to told. I was told. I was told. I was to to to told. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I was a the. I was a the. I was a tole. I was a tole. I was a tole. I was tole. I was tole. I was tole. I was tole. I was tole. I was tole. I was tol it. We was there for seven days, I'd say Josh. It was probably the best holiday we've ever had as a family. Oh wow.

However, when I tell you what actually happened on it, you'll think I'm lying. Okay. You don't really relax on a holiday with your kids. Like, you're exhausted. However, it was the first time we've took could sit on the edge of the pool or on a lounger and just watch them in the kids pool and they were sort of safe and they could like stand up in it all the way round they're both swimming now and obviously we had to watch them the whole time but yeah we're not hovering over them yeah you're

not you're not doing the lean over and it was an amazing no lean over it was to. However, it's never easy with kids. And about a million things went wrong. Going backwards, we had a lovely trip, on the way home, the three-year-old was sick in the back of the cab, 20 minutes from our house. Travel sick. Oh my word.

Absolutely everywhere. It was horrific. And like all in air, all over over it was just all because traveling's hard in it? The flight back Josh the ear popping have you ever taken your kids on a plane? I've taken my daughter on a plane. Did she have ear popping problems? No she was all right actually do you know what she was all right that was the least of our issues. They were pretty well behaved the kids. They were pretty well behaved the the the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the ear-popping thing on the plane, it was quite funny getting on the plane back. There was a few broken parents.

There was a couple in front of us to add like a four-year-old and a four-month-old. We got in the lift to go down to like the departures and she just went, how did you find it? Oh, pardon? She went, too young. That's all she said, too young. Bless her. She looked like, she'd be so looking forward to this holiday. She went too young. So she said, but anyway, the hours were kicking off on the way back

because their ears were popping. And because I think they had water in their ears from the pool. So we tried all sorts, chewing, like, parents were so lovely. They kept their, like, p-I parents, parents, parents, parents, parents, p. their, parents, p. their, p. their, p. their, p. their, p. their, p. their, p. their, p. they, p. they, p. they, p. they, p. they, p. they, p. they were, p. they were, p. they were, p. they were, p. they, p. they were, p. they were, to, t, t, to, to. to. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. t, were, were, were, were. t. to. to. to. to. to. t. to. t. to. t. I. t. t. t. t. t. to. too. to. too. to. too. to. to. to. to. to. t t t t and my kids just kept going, I just want to go home now as if like that had been an option. I was like, oh yeah we've just done the seven-hour flight, yeah let's just do, let's just teleport now shall we? Seems silly to do the rest of the flight. And but it's weird where there is popping there's nothing you can really do. Like you want to help them but but them them them them them them their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, to help to help to help to help to help their, to help to help to help their, their, I tho, I'm, I tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I was th is th is th is th is th is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thate. I'm thateateat that that that that that that that thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, that's tho but it's a bit like I imagine watching them get their heart broken when they're about 17. It's just part of the course. Basically, your ears pop there a bit, then it stops. But there's nothing you can do or say. You can know, you can try and be supportive. What I would say is though, other people's kids kicking off really help my morale. So, oh, it's nothing better. Oh, it's nothing better. I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, that. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. There's nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. There. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. There. There. Oh, th. th. th. th. thi's nothing. thi's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. I's nothing. I theeeee. I'm the. It's nothing. It's nothing. I thee. It's nothing. It's nothing that they should be employed by the airline that one kid is kicking off so you feel better because

when my kids were screaming a little bit about their ears there was another kid that just screamed in his mom's face I'm going to kill you over and over again. How old was it? two and a half? Fucking how? I'm going to kill you I'm going to get this poor one was so so bad. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I I I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I'm going. I'm going. I'm going the the the the the the the the the poor. I was just just just. I'm going the poor. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just the their their their their their their their their. I was just their. I was just their. I was just just just their. I was just just just just just I was just I was I was going the poor. I was going the poor. I was going the poor. I was going the poor. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the poor. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going to this. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going this. I'm going. I'm going this. I'm going this. I'm going. I'm going this. I'm going. I'm going to kill you, I'm going to get this problem was so embarrassing. Oh my God, that is awful. We had stress on the way out, Josh. What time do you like to get to an airport when you're flying solo and when you're flying with kids? Talk to me through it. Well, I've only flown with kids once. Yeah. So solo, yeah. Well, I like to allow to allow time because I don't mind the departure lounge. That's fine. No, no judgment here. I like to get to an airport two hours before, even on my own. But do you know what? I wouldn't, I certainly wouldn't be that stressed if it was cutting it a bit finer because I always think it'll always work out. I'm not too bad with airport departure times. But okay, with kids and two kids, in the cases...

That's a different game. I want to get there, I'd say maybe even two and a half hours. Drop the bags. Drop the bags. What you're planning on doing in your two and a half hours? Drop the bags. Drop the bags. And then we're going to go and maybe I'll go and sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, likery and find something they're definitely going to eat and there's more options. Sit down, have that properly.

Maybe I'll walk around the shops, get the kids a magazine, let them run around the airport, so they're tired before the flight, maybe if there's a little soft play, let them do that. And if they're just running at the airport when they're not had a runabout. Do you know what, listening to you describe that makes me realize just how shit it is traveling with kids. Because think what you would normally do on the departure lounge. How much pleasure it normally is just to go, I'm just going to go and have some food, I'm maybe going to have a beer, I'm going to go and I'm going to usually buy some toothpaste because I've forgotten it or buy a neck pillow obviously.

I love a neck pillow. I love a neck pillow. But do you know what I mean? Normally and then I'm gonna amble to the departure gate 45 minutes before you know and fucking hell you're trying to run these kids tired. We tell it and then you're in a cab home and they're physically sick. Oh mate. It was worth it but it is hard work. Anyway, so our flight was at 2.20 p.m. right, Heathrow. It's about an hour and a half to Heathrow.

Can sometimes be like an hour and 10 minutes with like zero traffic in the middle of the night or it can be up to two hours on a busy day. So our flight was at to to to th was at th was at th was at th was at th. It was at th. It was at th. It was at th. It was at th. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. It was at 2. to to to to to 20. to 20. to 20. to 20. to 20. to 20. to 20. to 20. It. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was a takes. It was a takes. It was a takes. It was about about about about about about 2. It was about 2. It was about 2.20.20.0. 20........ It was about about about about about about about about 2. It was about about about 2. It was about about 2. It was a takes. It was a day. Anyway, so I thought I was at 2.20, to say it takes an hour and a half and they wanted to pick us up, right? We tried to book a cab, right, through the travel agent, and they said, oh yeah, they'll come about half 11. I was like, pardon. And that way we get there at half 11, two hours before job done, right? Anyway, we're waiting for the cab. Cab doesn't come. Oh God. Cab doesn't come. the cab doesn't come.

Half an hour late, so I'm ringing about. Apparently the travel agent people are toled,to the airport but we need I've got two kids so we need the cab needs to have car seats in and space in the back for the baggage right don't go right so now 20 to to 11 oh no like my hands going yeah you're capping right eventually we ring we had to ring lose dad who luckily was in and luble. the corner and came and got us if we would have lived near our pet our in law's the the have gone. We would have missed a flight because he never would have made it. And then got in the cab, got in the cab, sorry, the father-in-law's car. Two hours it took, right? And he saved our holiday, but it took two hours in the cab.

There was a car, sorry, his car. Loads of traffic, but also when there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, th. thathea. that. to. toe, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. t. tod. today. today. today. toe. toe. toooooooooooo And I don't want anyone to speed, but I'm just like, we're running late for a flight. Hit the limit, Mick, hit the limit. You've got to be hitting the limit. And I love hearing about your tulips that you planted, but don't regrow. You have to dig up again and replant them in order for what I mean Josh? And I love it. And it you front seat? I was front seat, just kept on Google, just kept on Google Mapping now

long it was. Oh, it was every minute. Google Mapping. It was horrible. And then we kept on getting stopped in traffic and in traffic. But we had made it and it, uh, he lose dads and actually life's a life sair and thank you very much. And he wasn driving at sort of semi-fast but you know when you're looking like I'm just like just put your to just put your toe down please just put your to down but he drives quite sensibly which is right the right thing to do and we did make the time but when you're a bit anxious like me I just I'd just I'd not have enjoyed that Rob I would just said I would just said to to to to to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just I to just I to just I to just I to just I would just I would just I would just I would just I would just to just I would just I would to just I would to just I to just I to just I to just I to just I to just I to just I to just I would just I would just I would just I would just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just to just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just just just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just to just the that I'll take. Just get us there. I'll take the rat, Mick. I'll take the rat Nick. But he literally saved the holiday. But that was, and that is so stressful

because then we got there. And then we still got there, sort of an hour and 45 minutes before the flight, but he's still, that it we've got to go through like the security and there's Q and last time went to Heathrow it was mad busy anyway we made it and it was so but that that was a stressful start to be fair and then yes we made it and then well I did the gig that was fun oh you'll love this Josh right I did the gig in Dubai right guess sometimes you know people message the to the to the to guess I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to the to the the to to the the to the to to to to to to the to the to to the the the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thy. I I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. try. I try. I try. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. you for tickets or the promoter says someone so wants to come to a show. Try, you're not, well I let you try and guess, but I don't think you'll ever guess who I had on my guest list for this gig.

It was the most random collection of people of all the song. Well I did Dubai, I supported Jack D. the D. In D Sadly, I passed away, but the chef Gary Rhodes. Oh really? Yeah, he's got a beast to live out there and had restaurants out of it, yeah. Yeah, but that was, as you would imagine, a random name you didn't expect to see. And it was was it just Rhodes, or any people with him were just Rhodes. The reason I remember Rhodes is because he was at the after show drinks. Yes. And I talked to Gary Rhodes about his restaurant at the after show drinks. Oh that's exciting it was exciting. I was like I was looking out over the Dubai skyline talking to Gary Rhodes and I was thinking how did this happen?

Yeah what have I done with my life here? Well I'll go up through the ranks of who I had I'd four sort of names. Would you describe them as the kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind the kind kind kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind to to the kind to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to the to the to the through the ranks of who I had. I'd four sort of names. Would you describe them as the kind of people you'd imagine to go to Rob Beckett show? Yes and no, but certainly not altogether. So there was Laura Anderson from Love Island, which feels like quite a Dubai kind of. Yeah. I don't know who. that is. I don't know who that is. I don't know who that is. I know Roman Kemp, I know who he is. Capital DJ. Yeah. What shifts he on actually? He starts, do you know what time? I'll tell you what time he starts, well, did he talk to him?

Does he do it from Dubai? So that he's on the correct time? Oh, I, he's gonna be all over the place.. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. the the the to. to. to. to anyway Roman Kemp's there Laura from Love Island law from Love Island yeah big Sam Aladice ex-England football manager pint of wine please find a wine the best one Dane Bowers oh wow I've got genuinely the last two I'd be so excited to me did you did they come back afterwards so um that last one Robert I'm going to say it is another level. Well, Big Sam came back, a Roman Kemp, but they were like more of the... Sorry, I didn't laugh at you're another level joke, sorry.

Come on, mate. I'm going, I'm going out of my mind. So, Big Sam and Roman Kemp back, but I thi. So big Sam and I that that tham and I tham and I tham and I tham and I th, I tham and I they they they they they they they they they they they they th. tham, th. th. tham, th. th. th. th. th. th. tham, th. tham, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they, they were, thi. they were, they were, they were, thi. tha. tha. they were, tha. tha. they were, tha. tha. they were, tha. tha. they were, tha. tha. that was because they saw I saw They were together no they were New gay power couple big Sam and Roman Kem They would have thought it So which two of those four would were together so it was so Dame Bowers and Laura Anderson from love under a couple? So it was so Dame Bowers and Laura Anderson from the after a couple of the tooo? the? I they're the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were to to to to to to to to to told to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to too to to too to too to to to to their to to their their their their their their their their their their their toldld. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their too. I too. I too. I lost in transation because the other two got tickets through the promoter and then the promoter was organizing the after drinks, but I only stayed for one and then left because it was, I wanted to get back to Lou and the kids.

So it wasn't, I didn't really know there was a drink thin. I've just got one of Roman Kemp and Big Sam. Do you know what's sad? What? Big Sam? One game as England manager sacked. Oh God. Goes to see Rob Beckett one drink. See you later Sam absolutely history repeating himself. Can't get past one. Just stood there on his own. Well Roman Kemp was talking to him about XG which is expected goals that book. Expecting a goal yeah. Yeah. And I don't think Sam had read the book. I the book the book the book the book the book the book. I the book. I the book. I the book. I the book. I the book. I the book. I the book. I the book. I the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to their. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.......................................................................................................................... Expected goal yeah. Yeah and I don't think Sam had read the book. I think he thought the book was about expected games. Anyway I love Big Sam and his wife Lynn absolutely lovely couple. Lynn Alladized. Big fans of Dubai, big fans of Dubai. Of course. Of course Big Sam is a big fan of Dubai. And Spain he's got a place in Spain and they were getting on like a house a fire but Roman kept Kem, Captain talks about Big Sam and his wife. I know Roman, Kemper and Big Sam and they were talking, he kept them to talking to him about

England at the Eurows and I thought it was a bit awkward. Oh God, don't talk to him about that? Do you know what I mean? It's not going to talk about Poch P posp to to po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po. In in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their th th th th th to th to th th th th th th th th th th th th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th th th th th thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I tom. I tom. I tom. I tom. Roman, Roman, Roman, Roman, Roman, Roman, I tom God, poor old Big Sam. Oh, Big Sam, he had a good night though. Goes out to Dubai. He had a free tick and a couple of Sahees on me, don't you worry about that? Of course, he enjoyed himself and then he got stuck talking to Roman Kemp about XG and someone else who's got his job. And then he was obsessed with he's obsessive football, his lovely lad, he was talking about football he's taking, he was really excited to meet Big Sam, as you would be. But then he went,

White Sam, I've always went to ask a football person, why do they do out swinging corners? And I was just like, I don't fit you want this, Roman. And I don't think, I don't think he stood in the middle of two people and you think, how tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, he's, he's, he's, he's thin, he's thin, he's their, he's their, he's their, he's to be their, he's to be to be their, he's to be to be, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's, he's, he's, he's. He's, he's, he's. He's, he's, he's, he's to. He's the the the the the th. He's their. He's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. the the their. the the the their. the and you think how is my life this I'm listening to Roman Kemp it must be exhausted from his shifts still ten to Big Sam who's now in Dubai I've just played the opera house front rows full of like you know shakes and I've got big Sam talking to her about in swinging out swinging corners that is that is genuinely how soon after the words outstreaking corner did you go? Anyway, let me stay in for once. Guys, I think I'm gonna nip off actually.

I've got to tell with this kids club thing before we finish in Dubai. The hotel of the kids club, right? I'm not a massive fan of leaving them in the kids club. I just, you know, I just like seeing them on holiday. I just love being with them. And.... And, the their. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, we their, I'll, we their, we their, let, let, let, let me, let me, let me, we' their, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, we're, we're, we're, we're their. We're, we're to be staying. We'll, we're to be staying. We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we their. We to be to be to be their. We their. We to be their, we their, we their of the kids club, right? I'm not a massive fan of leaving them in the kids club. I just like seeing them on holiday. I just love being with them. And yeah, sounds like it, Rob, from what you tell. I do, maybe I should have put me in the kids club and I've had a more of a chill time. Anyway, because it's like a bit, went in, there was a big soft play area, my kids wanted to go in, so I went in and read a book, sat there with him while they were in there. Anyway, this guy though, this dad was going, what do you mean it's only an hour? I want to put them for four hours and he's just with his kid and they're with, oh well, we can't. Oh, their, oh, oh, their, their, oh, their, their, oh, their, oh, their, oh, their, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, oh, their, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so, oh, oh, so, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the the th. Oh want to go for a few drinks. I can't do anything in an hour. I've got to come back. Just get you. And then and then the kid went, but dad I can just come with you you. Oh God. I know and he was going, no, it's not the point is it? Oh my God. It's took you kins. It's not the point. Oh, that's awful. Oh, that's awful. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. the. Oh, I's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. I. the. I. I. the. that. that. that. that. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. I. that. that. that. that. that. I that. that. I that. I the. I the. I the. He was trying to put linen actually so he could go for a branch. He's meeting

Roman Kent, he's just pressing. Look mate, let's sort out throwings, set pieces and corners. That's getting nailed down early doors. Well I'm glad you had fun. That is just an amazing lineup of people. Well I've got so much more to talk about as well but are we running out of time. We don't know when we're going to do it on front. I'll do a a a a a a a a their. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll to to to th. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. I'll. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to th. to to to th. to th. to th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. I'm. th. th. th. I'm th. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. to. to. to. to. I'll do a couple of things. One, never go to the outdoor theme park in Dubai. I've been. It's so hot. It genuinely, I went, do you know what, I've done two gigs in Dubai, right? And I hate theme parks, yeah?

Did you go do the rides at theme parks, I do them, but then I get to enjoy the queue to calm down. Oh God, that was too up for the queue, mate, outdoors. But there was no on that. Yeah. So we had the run of the theme park, so there was no queuing all day. Yeah. And everyone else went to do the f f f f f f f f f f f f. the queue. the queue the thue. thue. thue. thu- thu- I thu- I to to to to to to thine to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the queue. the queue. the queue the queue. tue. the the tue. tue. the tue. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do the fucking rides so I was just on these fucking rides all day long It was genuinely awful Hated it, but that's what happened to us. I paid for Q-Jump right Q-Path thing Because I'm gonna eat to those twice I didn't need to I've never spent so much money in my life. We went on the smirf ride twice my kids my kids my kids are You know when you can literally literally, the sun is? their their their their their their their their their their their their their their sun. their sun. their sun. their sun. their sun. their sun. their sani. their sani. their sunit. their s' their suke. the sun. their suke. their suke. their su. their su. their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's. I's. I's. I's is. I's is. I. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is th. I's is the th. I's th. I's th. th. I's th. th. that's that's that's that that that that that t toy. te. te. te. te. te. teat teat te. ttte. tea. but like in a sped-up video on their skin like just while watching it because it was so hot and I was like we need to get out of here and then I hide a little buggy thing that you could only have in the park but then I had another 15 minute

walk in 35 degrees back to where the car was. Oh my god the kids went mental I had to carry both of them because it was to their. I I their. I their. I their. I was their. Oh I was the to to to their. I was the to the to to to the the to to the their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th th th the. I was the. I was the the. I was the the. the the the the theeeeee. theeeeeeeat thee theeee an the an the an the an dripping off my nose and I had to wear a mask outside still even though there's no one fucking there. How is this the best holiday of your life? I don't know it shouldn't have been but somehow I'll tell you why it was. This is why it was, this is why it was okay and these are all the mistakes I made. With the buy, keep it simple. What you got to do is just be submerged in water water, the water, in water, in water, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, two other girls and another boy and a girl, lovely, two lovely couples and their kids. And they literally just played in the pool with them all day and then Josh, me and Lou made holiday friends. In Dubai. I've got. Was it Sam and Lynn? No, it wasn't. I've got two guys that are my mates now called Mike and Andy. Oh, that is exciting. you gonna go on like post holiday meetups? Yes I think we are I think that's gonna happen. Oh that is exciting isn't it?

So they're gonna come to some gigs and I'm gonna see them after my gig but what happened was not the lineup you normally used to at your gig. No it's got Mike Andy and then we've got Fabio Capello and vanilla ice. So what we did was we went out for dinner and then about 8 o'clock with the kids and that and then afterwards, me and the guys, because we wanted to watch the football, we watched the caribou the cup, there's a really like, oyy little bar next door to the hotel and we met at 10.30 in the lobby. I didn't know their names or have a phone number, they were just the kids to watch to watch their to watch at at 10 10 10 30 at 10 30. I. I. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. We're thi. thi. their. their. We're their. We're their. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. That's. That's. A. That's. A. That's. A. A. A. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, their names or have a phone number. They were just the kids around the pool's parents and I said, lads, do you watch a football later? They went, yeah, I went meet at 1030 in the lobby in the lobby of a hotel. I didn't know their

names. And then we went and drunk six pints of lagre. I don't need to, but I mean, do they the trucest, theyn't, they their, their, their, th, th, their, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, their, their, their, their, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, the a, tha, tha, thau. Where do they live? I don't need to, but I mean, do they live in a easy place for you to be friends with them? So, um, the one couple live like Ascot way, sort of hour away, it's not too far. And then the other ones live in Whitley Bay much further, but they're going to come to show up north. That's near Newcastle. And we've got holiday friends now, Josh, we made friends. And well done, but what was more key was the kids got on, because I'll be honest, I don't really care what the parents are like if my kids are entertained all day. I mean, like, I will suffer a terrible parent if my kids are happy.

Luckily, these guys were great. We'll be checking back in a year. I'll put that in my diary to check back in to see how much how how how how how how how how how how how how how how much much how much much much much much much how how much much much much much much much how much much much how much much much much much how much much much much much much much much much much much much the their how much their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to see how much to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I the. I the. the the. I the. I the the. I the. I the. I to the. I to to to to to to to thtime. Well no, let me show you this and this was bleak. You know, I've done a few rough gigs in my time, Josh, as you have. But this bar had the Carabow Cup on on a big screen, but they also had a live band. Fuck that. So the live band were having to play why just loads of like drunk English people try to watch Leaeds Arsenal. Oh my God. Let me send it to you. It's great. These poor bastards, look at them. Oh my God, that is brutal. I mean that is unbelievable. You know when James Acaster was in a band, they did a, before he was a comedian, they did a gig and they just had a big screen up like that in the pub with like the news

channel on. And he did a gig on the day of 9-11. And he was paying in front of the footage of 9-11 Rob. Oh Jesus. I mean not as bad as that, but a similar experience. I once got booked for a corporate in the executive boxes of a cricket ground and it was that Andy Murray was in the final for in yeah that isn't as bad to 9-11 you're right well no you aren't didn't they good news but still distracting for a sports crowd I did that one at Edgebaston yeah

and they I was the surprise host and they announced me and they were like you may recognize him from Dara O'Breen's Mock the Week and Dara O'Breen's School of Hard Summs and QI featuring Dara O'Brien. No way! Yeah. They must have mentioned him three or four times in my intro. The disappointment. Right, we've gone over again already.

Should I do some more to buy on Friday? Well, I've got some stuff as well on Friday. Oh God. It's because we should, it's because we should be honest with people, we've had a little break of recordings that last one was recorded early, so we've come back and we've got extra stuff. So we'll probably do correspondence next week. Yes, yeah, we'll do correspondence, we'll get the stuff out. We'll do catch up and get bit more on Friday and then... Because otherwise, we'll be talking about Dubai, Dub, Dub, Dub, to to to to the to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, last, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last last, last last last, last last, last, last, last, last last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, last, the last, last, the last, last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, they... We'll, last, last, last, they. We'll, you know, exactly. I've got a few more bits I'll do on Friday, then we'll get your Friday and then we'll be back to correspondence to a week later. Right, small business and then we'll wrap up, shall we? Yes. I've got a small business shout out here. This was actually some people that come and saw the show in Dubai and they handed me this so new company because I wasn't working as

much and it's a clothing well more swimming shorts at the moment and it's called Doob's apparel and that's an Instagram at D-O-O-B-S apparel and they do swim shorts as in dubs as in d'UBS no no no dubs I don't know people could to buy dubs so I think as in bifters? No not dubes. I don't know people called Dubai dub's so I think as in dubes debaubes apparel. It's not like like the sort of cartoons of people smoking massive spliffs that are like you know it's just swimming trunks but yeah so Dan and Natalie and they gave me loads of loads of good advice for kids in Dubai so thank you very much Dan and Natalie and they went through the nightmare known as two to be. the the the they. their. their. their. to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. So, th. D. So, th. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. So, th. D. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. through the nightmare known as two under two. Been there Dan and Natalie. Yeah, so Doob's, you can email them at info at Doob's Apparel.com or DMMM at Doob's Apparel on Instagram.

So yeah, good luck with that, new venture. Okay, Rob. Please can you give my little business a shoutout. I started it in lockdown, making bracelets and kn chunky snoods. Oh yeah, are you excited yet Rob? Because strap in. Oh no, what's it for? Greyhounds and Whippets. Why does a dog need a bracelet? Why does it need a bracelet? Oh, mate, I just, the problem is Christmas can't come soon enough for me.

Oh my God. Why is a dog you a bracelet for your new dog. Oh, Frank, why is a dog need a bracelet? Well, you'll see, just heard the last, you'll find out on Christmas Day, Rob. Just heard the last podcast, you'll find out on Christmas, Rob's getting a whip it. Just heard the last podcast, I was so happy to hear Rob's getting a whip it. Oh fuck off you whip it lot I'm sick of it they're lovely but I think stop talking to about whip it. I'm more than a whip it. Shall be sending Freddy a snood. They are the best family dog. I don't have a website but I sell on D-pop at K-O-O-K-L-L-U or DME or DME on Instagram. Kooky Lou just for you. Right, Kuki Lou, from me to you, good luck with the business, but I'm not putting a snood on my fucking dog. Send him a snood, Kooke-Loo.

Everyone go out, if you've got a whip it, buy a snood. Look at the demographics, only people have got a whip it listening to this. I was talking to Michael, he said our whip it download. Always download in the first 15 minutes and then you lose them for the rest of the day. Oh God, we're getting it soon, really soon. We'll talk about that another time. Right, oh God, I'm panicking about the dog now. Right. See you on, see on Friday. See on Friday. It's like shit everywhere, isn't it? Bye.