Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP34: Harry Hill

Episode Date: November 5, 2021

S03 EP34: Harry HillJoining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian and presenter - Harry HillHarry's book 'FIGHT!' is published on the 11th November with a national tour to coincide. Please rate and review. Thanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply hello I'm Rob Beckett I'm I'm Josh Willickham welcome to parents in hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of, of course, tales of the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their trials theirs. theirs. I trials theirs. I trials trials trials tri-a. I they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Lily, can you see Robert Beckett? Robert Beckett. Robert Beckett. And can you see Josh Whithacom? Well done. Very strong. Robbickett, eh?

I love it. It's so Scottish to go, it's Robert, it's not Robbitt. Even a four-year-old. Robbie Beckettie, Lily Kelly, age four. Lilica, four. They've got such scary voices even up four. The Glacieregians are so intimidating. That child would terrify me if she said, give me your money.

Here we're Robbie, Becqidah, give me a fucking mommy. Really enjoy the podcast also. Fair, enjoy, I really enjoy the podcast. Oh, this is Scottish again. I didn't know what this meant. Really enjoyed the podcast. Also, fair enjoyed. Is that a Scottish thing?

I think it must be. I hope it isn't Scottish for Didant. Um, I hope it isn't Scottish. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho' tho' thi thi thi thi thi thi th the th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thia''''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' that' that' that' that' Yeah, we eat bastard. Fair enjoyed. Because we got just told off for Harris, not a short for Harrison. Sorry, I've never met a Harris before. Aris was asked where I grew up. I fair enjoyed that. It is a Scottish thing. It is a Scottish thing. That's good.

Yeah. Good. Congratulations, Rob. You are a Sunday Times bestseller as well. Oh, stop in both of us. Thank you very much. You know what, this is, it's a learned podcast. A couple of stiff-neck authors. Hi, you're listening to a podcast hosted by authors. I listen to a podcast, just two authors, shooting the breeze about kids and shit.

They're quite funny for authors. They do stuff like they go, oh what's that Scottish word? I'll Google it. I'm a mother-bettin bestseller, bitch. Stuff like that. Yeah, exactly. But Josh, it's Princess Peach not Princess Toadstall. I don't, I must have reference Princess Toadstall, I do apologize. I spend my child saving her from Bowser and now my kids have a switch, I'm saving her again. Although it makes me look like a pro, when she's playing Mario 3D all starts, get stuck on a level, I can help because I've already played the games and remember what you do. The switch is so good for kids. The games on it are brilliant. I really would heartily I love playing the switch I love playing the switch, I play all the time. But yeah it is Princess Peach, not Princess Toadstall.

Just in case you were worried this email isn't Scottish enough, she ends by saying. Oh no, Princess Peach Toadstall. That is correct. First name, peach, second name Toad-stall. But she had a tough upbringing. Don't you know her. To think it's a tough schooling that one is where the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl the girl one the girl the girl the girl one is the girl the girl one is the girl one is the girl one is the girl one the girl the girl the girl. the girl. the girl. the girl one the girl one is the girl one the girl. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to to to to to toeat. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toea. to to to to to to's the girl one of Eton? Fat Nose, who cares? Ask Guyvo. Just so you know, to end the podcast, to end the most Scottish email we've ever received, just so you know, Billy Connolly has a book out and as kids, so can you get him on the podcast? All right, fair enough. Fair enough.

Yep. Billy Connolly and the, Billy and B, Billy and B, Billy and, Billy and, the, to, to, to, the, to, the, to, the, to, the, the, to, to, the, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to the, to. to to. the, the, the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the, the the the, the the, the, the the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, the most most most most the most the most the the the the the the most most most the the most the the the the the the the the that'll be a good episode. But yeah, I'd love to get Billy Connolly on. What a legend. Love to get Billy Connolly on. Also, if you are a top performer who wants to promote their book, just get up the Duff, we're here for you. Yeah, performer. Sexually and com-aicely. If you can perform sexually to the point of the point of cemps to get on the show. Is that a good call out? Yeah, that is a good call out. I don't think you have to perform well sexually, it just needs the mechanics need to work. Exactly. You could ejaculate immediately and still father a child. No child is the result of the best sex people who have ever had, are they? Imagine if it was, the pressure would be so intense. Oh my god, yeah. Basically, the weaker the orgasm, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. The the th. The th. The thia is thia is thia is the the the the the the thia is the thia is the the, threathea. the the, the, the, the, thia is thia is thia is thia is thia thia the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. You is. You is. You is. You is. You is. You is. You is. You is. You is. You is. You is. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, the. Yeah, thin. Yeah, threat. Yeah, threat. Yeah, threat. Yeah, threat. Yeah, threat. Yeah, threat. Yeah, threat. Yeah, threat. Yeah, threathe. Yeah, the. Yeah, the the threathe. Yeah Was that good enough? We'll find out in two to three weeks. Yeah, exactly. Just like, if you absolutely just like proper karmisutrin it for an hour and a half, they come out and just smash their 11 plus at 7. Just a super brain kid from massive long farks.

Rob. Rob. Anyway, more Dubai stuff, Rob's been to Dubai on holiday with his children. Yes, um, oh, we went for dinner for a tap-house place. Took 90 minutes for the food, the starter to arrive. The kid's stuff arrived. Best holiday ever he said. Everything so far to be a. Anyway, it was 90 minutes. So in the end, we were quite full by that.

But you know sometimes you go for dinner. And once you have the start, the rally is, you don't really need three courses. You're just gluttony, in it. Yeah, it took so long, but they weren't really tapas. It's just more Spanish. That's what I thought I I I I I thought I thought I th thought I th thought I th thought I th thought I th thought I th thought I th thought I th thought I the th thought I th thought I the th thought I their I th thought I tho. their tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. their their tho. tho. tho. their their their their their their the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their their their their their. their their their their their their that. tho. thou. the. theat. toa. toooa' toa' tou. toa. toda. the. the. the. the. the. all week. Yeah, fucking hour, 15 quid a go. Fucking plain pasta. Anyway, so the other one's just discovered salt on chips. So now she's going to cardiac arrest next week,

the amount of salt she's chugging down. You can see her. My daughter's diet is basically, is it beige? Then I'll eat it. Yeah, exactly. So they had the plate of a plate. their. their. thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap plate. their plate. their plate. their plate. their plate. their plate. their plate. th. their their th. thine. thine. their their their their their their the other. their their their their their the other the other the other the other the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. the other the other one. the other one. their th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thooooooooooo. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tho. tho. thooo. tho. the other one. the other one. the other one. the other one. the other plate of a plain pasta and then anyway the food didn't come and I said to the person look we're gonna don't worry about the mains it's been an hour and a half the kids are tired we meeting people I had a I had a 1030 lobby meet we're gonna go so just into an oh we're really sorry don't she went look don't just don't pay it they've been a nightmare so they're not paying of it I've really gone off complaining I've they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're the the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they for the favour. I'm a bit too tumbleweedy often because I'm like, oh God, that's nice of them.

I've never even eaten it. I've really gone off complaining. I should complain more. Anyway, but then as we went, we went to leave and then, okay, let's get up everyone. And then the three-year'd already said we didn't want it and then I was like, oh no I don't have to pay it. And I was like, oh no I don't want to start eating it and then they chuck me a massive bill for dinner. So I said no I got, and then I went, I went, I went, I went, do you want secret daddy

pasta? Right, which sounds so bad. was I just grabbed two handfuls of the plain pasta and held in my hand and then we all left and then as we walked back to the hotel I just gave her a little bit of pasta like a dog treat. And she loved it and ate so much pasta. She ate more out of my hand in the street than she had at every dinner table. I just wish you'd met someone like a fan who wanted their photo with you and there's a photo of you with your arm around around with someone hand full of pasta. Secret Daddy pasta. So I will shake your hand, why won't you, COVID? No, because my hands are full of secret daddy pasta. Look at my kids crying because she's hungry. Give me a break.

Someone did want a photo though on the beach, right? And they absolute lunatic took it, it try to do full length. I was in my trunks. I was like fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking? Get closer? Shoulders up, come on, who wants full length photo on the beach? Jesus Christ! But yeah, so that was, that was a secret daddy pasta was a bit, a bit intense, but it was, it just took so long. They don't eat anything on holiday. Once again, Rob, best holiday ever. I was feeding my child pasta from my hands walking along the street.

I put a factor 50 on my face every day, still bright red. That's good to know, if you ever go to Dubai. But that's because any English person who Dubai is bright red. That's just the way it works. Exactly. Oh, we had another meltdown on the way back, the flight. We had to get up really early. to to to to be to be a a a to be a to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to to to to to the to their. to to to to their. to to to to to to their. to their. their. their. their. to to to to to to to to bea. to bea. to bea. to to bea. to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. t t t t to. to. to. to. to. to. toda. the to. to. toda. today. today. t t t t t t t flight back they were exhausted we had to get up really early. A flight was at 9 o'clock so we woke up up 5 which was actually 3 a.m. English time. When Roman Kem's getting up? Yeah, exactly. We passed a few. Emma Bunton was still asleep but a few thinks them was out in the road. If you haven't listened to Tuesday's episode. If you just come for Harry Hill, there's I'd say about 80% of the stuff we've th. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd the th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd to to to say I'd to say I'd to to the their. I'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm their. Remember. I'm their. Remember. I'm their. Remember. I'm their. Remember. Remember. I'm their. Remember. Remember. Remember, I'm their. Remember, I'm their their their their theem. Remember, I'm their to to to to to to to to to to their. Remember, I'm to their we've discussed so far you've needed to listen to Tuesday's episode. I too apologize. Secret Daddy Pastors knew. Yeah, Secret Daddy Pastors knew, but anyone who's gone, I'll start the, I've heard this is good, I'll start with the Harry Hill episode,

I like him. Well, this is weird bit for 15 minutes before where they were talking complete bullshit. So there was exhausting. So they were talking Emma Bunton getting up early. She doesn't. Love Emma Bunton. I won't have a bad word said against her. No, she's great. My mom Pauline's a big fan, send her a book I did. Anyway, let's not get bogged down by that. Other things on the plane, on the way back, I said, for some reason, because I was like,

they've been so good. And normally normally normally normally normally hotel pool. So I went, I would get you a little toy from like duty-free, eventually there was in there and the five-year-old picked something, and then the three-year-old just had a meltdown. Basically she was overwhelmed by choice and she was so tired. And she wanted these teddies and she was soared to the teddy. And she just lost her mountains. I had their their their the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five the five thi pick pick pick her thi-old-old pick thi-old pick thi that teddy wasn't soft enough and in the end you know what she's teddy she got? She got a camel with the Irish bar written on it which is a famous place in Dubai where all English people go and get pissed. Absolutely she got like a stag duet teddy. Oh that is amazing. She's absolutely lost her this was terrible this holiday. Yeah, it does sound like the worst holiday in history. Oh, I forgot to, I turned the aircon off in the middle of the night. At night in Dubai it gets to 30 degrees all night. I woke in the middle of the night. My children had kicked the covers off and stripped, naked, stripped,

naked because they were stripped naked because they were stripped, stripped, stripped, stripped in a film when someone gets shipwrecks and they land on the beach And they go Trying to get some air after nearly drowning. I woke up like that and we're and then turned the aircon off But I basically cooked my entire family. Oh, oh my god. Oh my, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th. the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the film. the film. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. th. th. t. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the holiday, but it was the best holiday I've ever had. That's the best thing. If you are listening to this as just a Harry Hill debut taunt, if you want 30 minutes more of hell in Dubai under the best holidays ever had, do go back and enjoy the Tuesday episode. What I would say about Dubai is you are one decision away from the best holiday of your life, and then one decision away from the worst holiday of your life, and there, the the the their their their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, do, do, th, th, do, do, do, th, do th, do thi, do thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thoom-in' thoom-up, thoom-up, thoom-up, do thi, do thi, do thi, do thi, do thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's their thee the the the theeea' thi's theea' thiiiiiiii's theea' thi, th alive and there's not much in between those two things happening but you know make your own mind up that's what I felt like if you want to hear what Roman came said to have Sam Alladise as we say Tuesday's show now do you know what Rob I've got some things to say but I think I'll save them for Tuesday show because I'm so excited about Harry Hill hel he he is yes my favorite comic he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's hees he's he's he's he's he's he's the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their my their is my favorite my favorite my favorite comic he's a their he's their he's the the the their is a their is a their is my my my my my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the, particularly because he doesn't really do many podcasts.

So it's quite... I'm excited. Yeah. Here's Harry Hill. Hello, Harry Hill. How are you? Very well, yes. Nice to talk you, fellas.

We're very excited, Harry. I'm very excited, I'm very excited, but I think Josh is a level above me. He sort of this booking. This is a great, th is, th is, th is, th is, the kind is, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Here, here stopped talking about this bookings for weeks. This is great booking this is this is the kind of booking we're looking for. Well who else have you had on it I'll fess up now fellas I haven't actually listened to your pocket. Michelle Obama Elton John and now you. Michelle Obama's very good isn't she? Yeah she's very good she was really insightful about stuff. Yeah all the stuff she is. Really funny stories. Most of which one cannot use because of the sensitive nature of the material.

She wasn't even on promo. She did it because she loved the podcast. I was really impressed. What is your setup at home? How many kids have you got? I've got three kids, yeah, three girls. Yeah, I was denied a son. And there, unfortunately. What?? th, what? their? their? th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, th. One, th. One, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, th. One th. One, th. One, th. One, th. One, thi? thi? thi? One, thi, thi, thi. One, thi. One, thi. She was thi. One, thi. One, thi. One, thi. One, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one thi. three kids, yeah, three girls. Yeah, I was denied a son. And there, unfortunately. But so one is 23, one is 24, so we had those very close together. Yeah. And I said no more children. That's it. Okay. I remember Dominic Colin used to have this, you know Dom. You should get in.

Spider-man's dad. Spider-man's dad. Spider-Man's dad. Spider-Man's dad. I remember, Dominic Colin used to have this, you know Dom, you should get in. Spider-Man's Dad. Spider-Man's Dad, Spider-Man Senior. Spider-Grand-Dad. Spider-Grand-Dad. I'm just repeating all you're saying. Oh, so I said no more children. Because we had two so close together and it was that double

pram thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus. You know, the double pram is just too wide to go through it. And the thing actually that really got to me was, was actually pushing this double pram with these two babies in. And we had two dogs as well, and I would push this, walking the dogs, to to to do, to do, the dog, the dog, the the the the the the the the the the the the the to, the th, the the th, th. th. to, tho, tooom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tom, tom, tom, tom, together, together, together, together, together, and, together, together, and, together, together, together, and, toge. toge. toge. toguu. togu well and I would I would push this walking the dogs and pushing his pram around the park and the thing that got to me most was old lady saying you look like you've got your hands full oh thanks a

lot how you spotted that did you? Look like you got hands full. Come on, guys. What does Possible sound like for your business? What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit MX.

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Well, Fox Terriers. Small but willful. Small but willful. Like me and Josh. That's gonna be the original name of this podcast. I'm gonna Google a Fox Terrier so I can't. It's the tin tin dog. So you had you had that that that th, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, th, thin, thin, th, tho, tho, tho, tha, tha, th-a, to, tha, to, to, t, to, t, t, t, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, t....... t.. t. Well, t. t. Well, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, tsoo. tsoo. tsoo. tsoo. tsoo. tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, tso, tintin dog. You know, it's that one. No, you didn't want any kit, you didn't want any more. They said, that's it, you know, and we were quite rigid about that.

Oh, they look like a sort of Jack Russell with a big jumper on. Yeah, and a mustache. Yeah. And that was Jack Russell in witness protection? Yeah. Those dogs have seen some things. And we were quite rigid, my turns, you know, and it, and it, and it, and it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, and it, it, it, it, and it, and it, it, and it, it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it's, and it's, and it's, that, that, that, that's, and we were, and, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, we were, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. thi. thi, thi. thi. th. th. thin, th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. things. And we were quite rigid, my wife is quite rigid about it's your turns, your, my turns, your, you know, it was like that alternative thing at night, your turn to get up, my turn to get up. And so, and I was like, that, around that, this is what, 97 we had the first one, the first one, 98, it was the second one. That was when when I I I I that was when I I I I, that was when when when So it was a lot of, I had to do turnover, a lot of stand up. So I would have to do a tour. This is my previous handlers.

It would make me do it. Back on tour. You said, it would be tour. And then it would be record, write and record the show. And I wrote it on my own so I was really under the caution I said I would get back from two you know two in the morning you know the thing you know creep into bed and the baby wakes up and your turn so I was just completely knackered and so I said no but I could

tell that my wife was going to hold it against me for the rest of my life. So seven years later. Seven? Yeah, seven years later. In a moment of weakness. We're another, we've conceived as a third child, another girl. And it was the best thing we ever did.

Because, you know what it's like you have the first one, you don't know what the best thing we ever did. Oh. Because, you know what it's like, you have the first one, you don't know what the hell you're doing. Yeah. You don't realize everything is a phase. Yeah. I mean, you get the baby back from the hospital and you have that sort of, I don't know,

it's about a week or something where it just sleeps and you thi's all the f the f the f the f f f......... What's the f. What's the f. What's the fi's the fi's the fuss. What's the fuss. What's the fuss. What's the fuss. What's the fuss about. the fuss about. the fuss about. the fuss about. the fuzz about. their is. the fuss about. their. thi's. thi's. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the fi. the fi. the fi. the fi. the fi. the fi is is is. the fi is. the fi is. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeean. thean. thean. thean. thei. the the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. they start screaming and you think that's going to go on forever and then that goes and then you know something else happens you know they get to start teething or they start falling over well because you say it's the best thing you ever did Kevin the third but then how long until you thought that because obviously at the beginning was a lot easier because the kids were so much older as well they're like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like that like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's going th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoo. that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going you thought that? Because obviously at the beginning, it was a lot easier because the kids were so much older as well. They're like grown-ups at seven and eight, aren't they really? Yeah, yeah, it was fine because, you know, we knew what we were doing with the baby.

And we were able to enjoy it. And maybe I wasn't so busy, I don't know, but it was a really good time and actually you know I think she said the best talking of parenting she said the best out of us I think the first who got a bit of a rough deal. Sorry guys. I'm lucky but things happen. So does your third daughter still live with you? Yeah she's at school now. How old is she? 17. So what's it like having teenage daughters and young women as daughters? Is it scary? You lose the control a bit, don't you? So they're out and about, doing whatever? I think the thing with girls is that they're easier when they're little and then when they become teenagers, you know, then it starts to get difficult. And you know, I used to do this this this this this this this this th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, to thi, to to to to to to th, th, th, thi, to to thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thin, thin, thin, the, the, theat, they, they, they, they.ea, they, together, together, together, together, together, I used to do this, I had this sort of weird thing where I would scream

at them. They would come down and they would be in like, they used to roll up the top of their school skirt so in the sort of jail bait kind of look with them, thick makeup on, right? And I, and I would just, you know, turn into my dad. I'd say, you're not going out like that. Come here, you know. It was silly, you know, really silly. So I bought this book. I sent off of this book called Something Like Talking to Your Teen, so your teens can talk to you. Which is a book about, you know, obviously, understand.

Anyway, get this book through from them and I get it and I'm sitting on the stairs reading this book and daughter number two comes home from school. She goes, what's that book, Dad? I said, it's called, talking to your teens, see teens can talk to you. I said, it's just, you know, so we can, hopefully not have th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi the thi thi thi thi, thi, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully not thi, and hopefully not to to have to to to to to the the their their their, and their, and their, and their, and their their their their their their their their their their their their their, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, and hopefully, thi thi........... thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to toooooooooooooom. toooom. tooooom. the. thoooooooooo, thi. So, goes, loser. So I never bothered reading it. My own theory about parenting is it doesn't matter what you do.

They are basically who they are pretty much in the start, you know, unless you sort of do something terrible. Are you, I can't, and I mean, no disrespect you, I can't see you as a figure of authority. Oh, yeah, I am. Yeah, I am. Yeah, I am. they are not, I am. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have not have. they have. they have they have they have they have they have to have they to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have th th to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have. to have. to have. to have. to have. to have. to have. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th so thi. the to have the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the the thi. the thi. thi. to. thi. Are you, I can't, and I mean no disrespecting, I can't see you as a figure of authority. Oh yeah, I am, yeah, are you? Are you? Sorry. Sorry. Stop that now. Get you, how dare you. Get into your room. Yeah. Are you the good cop or the bad cop? Well, I think we're both bad cops, to be honest. We're both quite strict, you know, we aren't quite strict, I think. Yeah. I mean, you know, the third we've been a lot more, you know, it's a cliche, isn't it? But we've been a lot more relaxed with her because, you know, I think the first one gets the roughest deal and they were so close together they both did about kind of boundaries and rules and all that.

I mean I keep saying to her, I keep saying to her, she keeps saying to her, she keeps saying like, what we're doing today dad, like 17, you know, the weekends, what we're going to do today? Can we go to see, you know, I don't know, an art gallery or something? And I'm saying, look, I'm not your friend. I'm your dad, I'm not your friend. You need to get some, you need to get some friends to do this stuff with. You know, because like, when I was a kid growing up in the 70s,

we, you know, you didn't, you kind of parented yourself. you just wanted to get out and the idea to get to get to get to get to get to great difference between these generations is that, you know, your parents weren't your friends, you kind of loved them, but they were those kind of annoying people or, you know, it's a very different, you couldn't, my kids say to me now when I talk to my mom that, why you like that when you talk to your mom? Because I'm sort of like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like a, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, your mom? Because I'm sort of like, I'm like a, I'm like a little boy. I talked to her in a straightforward way, like they talk to me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're still that teenage guy. Well, you revert, you revert on a weekend yeah yeah and I do you know I'm on the pedal her with her on the serpentine 57 years old yeah she's a great kid actually she's a good girl did you what did they make of your career? Because you're such a kind of different person, you have people like, I don't know, who we've interviewed who's, say, Jack D. and you're like, Jack D. at home isn't dissimilar to Jack D. at work, I imagine. Yeah. Were they a fan of the Harry, but they're a fan of TV burp or you've been framed or the Harry, or the Harry, or their, or their, or their, their, their, the Harry, were they a fan of TV burp or you've been framed or the Harry Hill show or stuff like that?

Well, they, when I gave up TV burp, I said to them, I'm giving up that show and they said, yay! Right? And I said, I thought you liked it because they, you know, they would all watch it together. And they said, no, we like the show down but you're always so grumpy when you're making it and that was the thing yeah that was the thing because that's what they they see the other side of it which is sort of you know grinding yeah. Yeah. And in fact only recently they were sort of talking about that to me saying, oh, you know, they're very wary about people. I mean, Jesus, I'm not Paul McCartney. But they're saying, oh, people, you know, treat us differently or they want to get,

you know, they want to know about you and all this. Yeah, that must be weird. And I would never, they would prefer it if I didn't go sometimes to the school to pick the mom or all that stuff because it was a kind of, you know, you just want to fit in don't you when you're a kid. So, you know, they like, I think they like the shows. I mean my Winnie is kind of the second daughter she says she prefers their live stuff. She says that's she thinks I'm funniest when I'm doing that but I don't know. But none of them are doing it. None of them are interested in doing it. They're um I never kind of,

they never came to any recordings always kept them away from it because I always thought that with show biz you've got to really want to. I'm to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they their. I'm their. I'm their. I their. their their their their their their their their their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they're they're they're they're th. I they're they're thi. I they're they're they're they're thi. I they're thi. I they're they to really want to, to succeed in it, you've got to really, really want to, love it and want it to work, haven't you? If you've just got a little bit of talent, and you're the daughter of, you know, X, Y, or Z, you can probably get a little bit down the line, can't you're going to be disappointed and it's a really mean business. You know, it can be a really mean business. And you've got to be so motivated that you just let that wash over you. So I thought I'm not going to show them the glamorous side, you know, turning up and the people, you know, giving, they used to give me a chocolate, a clair about four.

Wow. It is great in the night we don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. They th. They th. They th. They th Different in the 90s though, we don't get that these days. You don't get that on Channel 4, do you, Josh? If you want to, you have to go and eat it in like Leeds or somewhere like that. You can't have it in London. But what you didn't realize, Harry, is you were billed for those chocolate cl one, Freddie, you know, the 17 year old, she is much more interested in it. Is she? Oh really?

Oh yeah, she's sort of, she's desperate. I mean, I don't really get invited any of that stuff anymore, you know, but she's desperate for me to get invited to this, that or the other, you know, some sort of fancy. Do you think you're more relaxed about it now, so your guards down a bit more to like let a talk about it or be interested in it, where before you was very much like, no, no, we don't do that, we just, I come home and work for them. Yeah, maybe, yeah, you think you're right. A bit over the top perhaps, you know, it might have been quite good fun for them. I don't know. Yeah, but you only think you're doing the best at the time, aren't you? Yeah, that's it. If you went back of experience and nostalgia, it's always a slightly different decision,

isn't it? Absolutely. But with the being recognized, school gates and things, have you ever been tempted stuff. It would, I imagine, be fairly easy for you to, if you didn't have your glasses on and not a different outfit, can you go a bit incognito? Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, absolutely. I mean, some people wear it really well, don't they, like David Williams. We went to a restaurant and David Williams is in the restaurant, right? And he comes over, you know, he's such a tall bloke anyway. And he's, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. makeup, but he looked like David Williams, you know, on TV. Just exactly the same. And he's tall, and he's walking through the restaurant. Everyone's looking at him and he's just sort of taking it, like, almost like he owns the restaurant, you know, walking through and he comes over to us. Oh, you know, would you come and say hello, to say, and he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the, he's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. the the. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. th. and say hello to my son and all this? And I'm walking with him, you know, call everyone staring at me. Because I'm with David Williams, but I mean let's face it.

I'm talking about the time when I was doing TV, but when it was like a, you know, I was. Biggest show and tele, really on a Saturday night, one of you're very kind. I'd say so. I'd their their their. I'm, th. I'm, their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. their. th. th. their. their. their. I'm that. th. their. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, t. So. So, t. So, t. So, t. So, t. t. t. t ta. t t t t t, cultural big show, you know, obviously had the X factors and stuff, but every family would sit down and watch that on that evening. Yeah, I remember it's in the, you know, in this book I've got out, is that I talk about me getting a bit paranoid about it, right? Because there was some photographs in one of the, you know, hello or something of me walking the dogs, same fox terries in in in in in in in in in in in in the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their, their, their, their, their, their, the hello or something of me walking the dogs, the same fox terrace in the park. Anyway, I was in the park and I saw a photographer, right? And I, and as I saw him, he appeared to me to duck behind a tree, right? I thought, oh, right, okay.

So I walk over to him, I think it's a paparancy. And he walks he he he hea, he walks he walks he walks he walks he walks, he walks, he thia he walks, he walks, I thian. thian. thian, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, thi. And I was tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was th. And I was a. And I was a. And I was a. And I was a th. th. And I was a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And I was a. And I follow him like I'm really right you know. So was you annoyed that he was taking photos? You want to yeah? Yeah yeah I was annoyed and and he starts to walk a bit faster I walk a bit faster and then I come around the corner and he's crouched taking photographs of like crocuses or you know in the in the park and I say to him in a very tese way I say you get any nice photos today then then. then. then. the th. th. to the to the to to to to he the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the he the he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. I he the the the the the the the he the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the he the ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttoy. And I say to him in a very testy way, I say, you get any nice photos today then? He goes, oh yeah, yeah. I said, yeah, you know, okay, what have you taken photographs of then, right? And he gets his cameras on one of those digital cameras and you show me the back of it and it's a photograph of a swan and a crocus in the lake, right? No photographs of me at all, because he wasn't a paparazzi. I said, I said you've got a real talent for that, haven't you?

He said, oh, thanks pretty much. That was it. Oh, God. Oh, God. I was the creep. No, I was the creep. And another story. Never guess.

Ariall came up to me aggressively with these two little weird Jack Russells. I had to show him a photo of a swad and he left. Yeah, I felt like a real idiot. But worse than that, right? I come home. I come home one day and my car, I used to have an old 1954 A30, it doesn't mean anything to you. And it appeared to be, the windscreen was shattered and there appeared to be a bullet hole.

Yeah, in the driver's side, right over where my head would have been. I run into the house and I said, darling, you know, someone's tried to assassinate me. I did, but I tell you why. It was only a couple of weeks after Jill Dan, you know, Jill Dandum murdered. I know it's, you know, ridiculous. Like, there was a, like someone had a list. So she goes, oh, she said, well, if you really think that you ought to phone the police. Right, so I phone the police, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. Well, th. Well, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, why, that, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, thin, that, why, why, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. I th. I th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that you ought to phone the police. Right, so I phoned the police up. I mean I'm really embarrassed.

I phoned up the police. I said, hello, I said someone's tried to, there's a bullet hole in my car, I said someone's tried to shoot, I think someone's tried to shoot me. No, that was in the car. And he goes th said, th said, th said, th said, th said, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was,that was in the car. And he goes, OK, sir. Did you hear a gunshot? And I thought, I didn't actually.

I thought that probably, you would have, someone would have heard a gunshot. I said, no. I said, and he wasn't really interested. And I said, and this is a really poor of me, because it's not really my name isn't Harry. I said, and he pauses for a moment, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, oh, it's Harry Hill, I said. And he pauses for a moment, he goes, soon as I could get you, be about midnight, right? Yeah. So he's thinking, he could make,

and this could be a nice career move for him, if he solves that, right? The triangle, the triangle, the triangle, triangle, triangle, the door triangle, the door triangle, triangle, the door triangle, the door triangle, the door, triangle, the door, the door, the door, the door, the door, the door, the the the the the the tr an triangle, triangle, the tr an the tr an thi, so the tr an the tr an the tr an the tr an the tr an the tr an the tr triangle, so the tr., so the tr., so the tr., so the tr tr., the tr., the tr., the tr., triangle, triangle, triangle, thriangle, triangle, triangle, thriangle, thriangle, triangle, thriangle, thriangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, triangle, thin, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, some, some, the th midnight. I'm stayed up. I'm staying up. The great big copper in the doorway. He goes, that is that your, I take it, that's your car out there with the, you know, in 1950 or whatever is. I said, yes. He said, well, first things first, that is not a bullet hole. That has been caused by someone kicking a stone or something kids

kicking stones in the street. All right? Okay. He said and notice that you haven't got a current tax disc. He said so you need to do that or get a car off the road and that was it. Like a real, like a real, like a real telling off. In your book, it's like a proper sort of honest autobiography of you, not sort of a fictional Harry Hill autobiography. Just. Yeah, no, it's a real thing. It's really me. Matthew, Keith Hall. Has it been nice going back over your career? Not really, no, it's a real thing. It's really me. Matthew Hall. Matthew Keith Hall. Has it been nice going back over your career? Not really, no. So it's not been cathartic, just brought up stuff that embarrassed you and made you feel bad.

I enjoyed, you know, the bits I enjoyed, and I don't know if you're the same. I love the way you look through it and it's not your book. It's just the Monk one. Just saying look for a couple of chapter head. Harry, look, there's a character called Harry. Harry sneered him. I don't believe that you don't know what happened to Swifty. You know you're just not telling me. Harry, whatever happened to Swifty isn't the issue, said Bacon. So basically Harry hasn't got a copy of his book he's got a book yet. He's just got the sleeve that he's put around another book for promo. Yeah, they're supposed to be out next week. They felt a write it. The last thing they said, they said all those problems with distribution due to Brexit. Ten thousand copies of your book in France and the port.

You'd be able to do an arena in Calais by the end of next year if one re-did it. What I enjoyed was, and I don't if you're the same, is the early days of the stand-up. That was the that I enjoyed revisiting because that's the most exciting bit for me and most. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, because you know, I gave up, you know, I gave up medicine, so it was all this whole, you know, dilemma and obviously, you know, when you gave up the medicine? I thin thi. 19, 90s, I was, I was, I was, I was, th, th, th, I was 26, you, you, th, th, th, I was 26, th, th, th, th, I was 26, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the early, I enjoyed, I enjoyed, I enjoyed, I enjoyed, I enjoyed, I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, th. Oh, th. Oh, uh, uh, that.00. Oh, uh, uh, thirty, uh, thirty, uh, thirty, thirty, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, the, the, the the, you know, when... How old was you when you gave up the medicine? I think I was 20, in 1990s I was 26. 26. 26, yeah. And so would that have been late 80s when you were first on the stand-up circuit? 1990.

1990. I basically got the, I don't know how you, how did you get gigs? I would get time out and phone up the numbers in the back of time out. Is that where you, yeah, a lot of emails to the kind of, like people, people just pass emails around. That's what I found. Yeah, and, or Facebook and a combination of phone numbers. The first open spot I did.

I was doing a locum as a doctor down in Southampton hospital. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to the to the the to the to the the the to the to the the the the the the to the the the to the to the to to get. too. I to to the to the the to to the the to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah............................. Yeah..... Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah... Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah...... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. And I left, I drove up the M3 to get to the comedy store. It was me and there were two other open spots and Mickey Hutton. You know Mickey Hutton? Oh yeah, he comes in. He looks at us. He comes in. He looks at us. A mickeyea name, Mickey Hutton. He looks at us, he points us and he goes, you'll be shit, you'll die, and you'll be crap,

or, you know, he's just going off to the other, the other comics. Joe, I don't think he's out greater predictions, to be honest. You don't want to take into Grand National. One of the most successful comedians of his generation, you'll be shit. I think he will actually, Mickey. I think he was. He did say, I mean, I didn't get book because Kim Kinney wasn't there to see it. So it was sort of a waste of time.

He did say to me afterwards, he said, oh, you know, no, it's all right. You've got some good good the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to the most the most to the most to to the most the most the most the most to get sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort to get sort to get sort sort sort sort of to be to be to be to the most to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to me. to me. to to to the most. the most all right, you know, you've got some good jokes, you'll be fine sort thing. You know, you really grasp onto those little bits, don't you? When you started out as a stand-up and you were Harry Hilt, which is, it's an alternative kind of thing. Well, I was a deadpan. But when I started, because my heroes were were deadpan comics. So, you know, Jack D. Stuart Lee, I mean, I remember sitting in the chuckle club, this, so it was a pub in Carnaby Street, the Shakespeare's head, it was upstairs,

they're tiny function room. And I was on, I was in the front row watching, I bought a ticket with my mate, and Jack D was on, and Lee Evans, right? Fantastic Bill. And I remember when Jack was on looking, everyone was just like laughing and laughing, you know, just like really kind of throwing the heads back. I remember looking around at everyone and thinking, because I, you know, at that time I thought I would like to do it.

I remember looking at people laughing and I thought, no matter how funny I am, I will never be as funny as this. Do you know what I mean? I will never get this reaction. And you were good at predictions. You know, so some people, some people can do predictions. I wanted to be. I wanted to be a deadpan.

So I would come on. And my opening nine used to be, because I was Harry Hall when I first started. I would say, my name's Harry Hall and here are the jokes. Like that. That's a great opener. And actually Stuart said to me, oh, you know, you should try doing your act sitting down. You know, you should do it at a table or something and be like a news reader, right? Because I was actually a fan of his. So I did the one night at the Banana Club. Ladies gentlemen, Harry Hall, and I walk on, I'm carrying a table and a chess.

It would be like three minutes to set up. Hello, I'm Harry Hall and here are the joke. Don't have it again, thanks for that too. Wait, it worked on TV Burt though, didn't it, behind a desk? Yeah, yeah. When did you change to Hill? Well, then in those days, this whole thing was about equity. You had to get in equity and get your equity card. Okay. I mean, so you had to have a name that wasn't already in equity, and there was a woman called Harry Hall, H. I had to write to her and ask her permission to use the name. She said no. So then I was in a quandary.

So I was going to be Harry Horn, I was going to be Harry Carnegie at one time. Hello, it's Harry Carnegie. I just settled on Hill. Yeah, I mean, not what I wanted. Daniel all right. First time I ever saw you on TV, I don't know if I've talked to you about this before, you were hosting Top of the Pops. Oh yeah, you did, yeah.

When did you host Top of the Pops? There was this period in the 90s where it was all like loads of comedians and every the time they had more cotton wool the cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton cotton. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It was th. It was liked was liked was liked was liked was liked was like the theirthey came back to you, you had more cotton wool in your ears? Yeah. That's great. I had like so much. Yeah, it was like a running gag. Well, there's a guy that took the bloke that took over his executive producer at Top of the Pops, Rick Blacksill. He was a big fan of comedy.

And so he just, he booked a load of comics to host it to to to to to host it, to the to the to host it to try and, I don't know, yeah, because I say, because the opening thing is, I go, Welcome to Top of the Pops, and it was really weird doing it, because I was screaming over the top of these kids, just, they were all just making so much noise, I couldn't hear myself think. And I was going, welcome to Top of the Pops, always engaging, Skunk and Nancy. It was that you know because in time out they would they would call you you you'd have a little word to describe your act when you were unknown and one of

the ones that I got saddled with was always engaging. Like that's going to sell tickets. Yeah I'm a cheeky chappy likeable smiley that was mine sort of thing. Experienced was the worst one. Experience. I've got back again. Experienced comic Ivan Bina that was the one that he used to. I'm playing football with him later. I have a d'Iver d'Inbina. Oh I'll give him my best. He gave me the best. It gave me the best advice actually I ever got. You said the the the the the the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. I the best. the best. I've the best. I've the best. I've the best. I've the best. I've the best. I've the best. I've the best. I've the best. I've the best. I the best. I the best. I the best. I the best. I the best. I the best. I the best. I the said if you're going badly, get off. And if it's going well, get off. That is great advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And do you write about your wife and kids in the book or is it more just the career stuff and the shows? Well, I tried to, initially, I tried to write an autobiography that was in no way personal. I can actually some people have achieved that I can send it over to you. I've read them. So I tried to make it about my about just like the funny things that have happened to me, you know and a lot of it is about things that went wrong. You know, like for instance, there's a whole really funny chapter of I think it's funny anyway about, you know, the I Can't Sing Music or the X-Factor musical, oh yeah. You know, I don't know. How was that? I went to that and it was a good show and it was absolutely the best fun. to the, and actually we got to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I their. their. their. their. their. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. we. we. we. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th it, Josh. So it was quite, it was, you know, it was a big, basically a big piss take of the X-Factor. You know, and my favorite bit in the middle of it was where they go,

they decide that they're going to write the song. It's Louis and Cheryl and Simon. They decide they're going to write the single for the winner. And they go, but we're the, we're the judges of the X, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the single for the winner and they go but we're the we're the judges of the X factor we don't know anything about music anyway I get his email from him via his representative saying there was lots of like good stuff about the about the show and about the lighting and all this because he's actually a very good producer Simon he said I'm a little bit worried that my character is made to look ridiculous. And the idea that I am the father of the hunchback is too far-fetched. In answer to your question, your first question, they made me insert an chapter about my wife. Right. Who consists of thigh?

He publishers because I had a chipping in along the way sort of in a kind of scathing way, which she is very good at. You know, like for instance when we were nominated for, Bert was nominated for a bafter. As I'm leaving for the bafter is very excited, you know, in my dinner suit. She says, awards are for people with big egos and low self-esteem. She's not wrong. She's on the nail. On the hell, right? Timing. So she's very good at keeping my feet on the ground. So just... Do you talk about your children in the book? I talk about having the kids and I talk about, you know,

the early kind of parenting stuff. Am I right in saying, I might be wrong on this, but my wife just said that one of your daughters is an artist, so she has followed... They have followed what your wife does. Yeah, yeah. They are, and the the the other. And the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other, and the other the other th o' thoes, and thoes, tho tho thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes, is thoes, is thoes, is thoes, is thoes, is thoes, is thoes is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. It is, th. It's th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And tho, and tho o' thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes, is thooes, is thoes, th of them are. So they have followed what your wife does. Yeah, yeah. They are, and the other ones are not scholarship. So they are very arty. I mean, part of it I think is they're not very academic.

And so that was, you know, they have dyslexia, the two older ones have dyslexia and you know quite badly and they're arti, one is a ceramicist and the other one's a fine artist, yeah. And which I have always really encouraged because I kind of felt like that was something I might like to have done. Yeah, yeah. You know, in another life and you know my friend I performed a double act with, he was at art school and obviously my wife was at, that's how I met my wife through that connection. And an art school just seemed to be a lot more fun than medical school, frankly. Well, yeah, I imagine. You once told me a story about you're trying to get your daughter to identify Switzerland on a map. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And we made a lot of mistakes with the first two kids about schooling. You know, I put my hands up to that. We were skittish and we didn't know what we were thi schooled, and the the the their their their their their their their. And I their. And I to their. And I to to their. to to their. thea. thea. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to to to to to too. too. too. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. t. t. I. I. I. I. And, t. And, t. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, tea. And, tea. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, to that. We were skittish and we didn't know what we were doing. And, you know, I was state school educated. So I went, I lived in Kent and I went in the 70s, I went to a, you know,

a comprehensive and then you got sort of creamed off to be on the, to go to the grammar school, right? Yeah, if you were. And that was all free and obviously it was a completely different time but so I was quite keen for them to go to state school but my wife is dedicated to say oh they'll be recognized as your kids and it'll be you know they'll be bullied and all this right of it so we went through various things one of which was going to this isn't the same story but we'll come back to the yeah was going to church we thought we'll get in with the religious, you know, the Church of England thing, right? Say what you want about religious people, they're good at maths. So I go, so we start going, you know, a bit, in the vicar, and I think I should make a donation, this is the way to a secure place, is to make a donation.

So I say to the vicar, because we had our kids christened and I said, um, so I'd like to make a donation. Is there anything that the church needs? He said, well, he said, we do need a cooker for the for the parish rooms. He says, we do need a, I said, great. Yeah. You know, 300, was that 300 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or 400 or or or or. th or th or th or th or th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tooi. tooi. tooi. tooi. tooi. too. too. to. to. to. they're great yeah you know 300 was that 300 400 400 quid or something I thought yeah all right I said yeah great and anyway he gets to buy this he sends us a wheel for this cooker it's a range cooker 3,000 pounds I think you what you're cooking in this parish room you know I was thinking like a few sausage rolls. Yeah, it's only one fish, one loaf, isn't it? Yeah.

Then we went to this, they went to this sort of ultra-posh kind of private school with this sort of bizarre uniform. And almost that fancy dress. And then one day, she, the second, second oldest said, Coming from Ariel. She was about... A bit much, isn't it? Yeah, the collar's a little bit small than it.

Tiny collar on that outfit, stupid, stupid uniforms. She said, her homework was to identify the countries of Europe. Yeah. There are test you., what's that? France. What's that one, Germany? Point to Switzerland. I said, what's that one? She said, oh, I don't know. I said, I'll give you a clue.

It's famous for its cuckoo clocks and chocolate. And she said, Harrods? At which point I realized that we were perhaps spoiling it. Um, Harrods. My father in Norse said to me, the best way to choose a school is to go to the Harrods uniform department and choose the nicest uniform. Find out where that school is and send them there. So yeah, we, we made a lot of, um, we try to, um, we try to, um, we um. We try. to, we to, we to, we to, we to, we to, we to, we to, we try. We try. We try try. We try. try. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to, the to, to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the try try the try the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the nicest uniform, find out where that school is and send them there. So yeah, we made a lot of, we tried all different kind of schools, we, like ultra-liberal ones. So they went to lots of different schools then? Those first two, yeah. Yeah, it's a mistake, big mistake.

Rather than just picking on one and making a decision, do you think? Yeah, we should have stuck with one. Because you weren't moving around then, you their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, th. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, th. We're, th. We're, th. We' th. We' th. We, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we, we're, we're, th. We. We. We. their, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, their, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, t. try. try. try. with it. We should have stuck with one. Because you weren't moving around then you was in the same place but just... No we weren't in the army? How many schools did they go to? Five or six. There was one really liberal one they went to and the only reason they got into that one is because two children had been expelled for having sex in the long jump pit. Oh, that's a messy place. Oh my God. Yeah, that was a big mistake.

Anyway, that's not my mistake. We're able to bring up your mistakes. We're really excited about reading the book. That's not in the book. That's not in the book. That's not in the book. That's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not. That's that's that's that's the book. That's that's the book. That's the book. That's the book. That's not the book. That's not the book. That's not that's not. That's not that's not that's not that's not the book. That's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's the book. That's the book. That's the book. That's the book. That's the book. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. That's not. the book. the book. the book. the book. That's not. the book. the book. I book. That's not. That's not. I book. That's not the book. I's not the book. I's not the book. the book. I's not the book. the book. I's not the book. I's not the the the the book. I's not the book. I's not the book. That's not the book. That's not in the book. That's an exclusive. Stop looking in it. It's not your book. It's not my book. The book is out November the 11th. Next, yes, Armistice Day, buy it with your poppy. Don't forget to buy a copy of the Autobiography called 5. You got a minute of silence to read it if you want. If you're going to remember something on that day. I'm doing a little tour of

you are. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny little places. So where you tour, is this a book tour or a stand-up show? It's book tour. So what happens in your book tours? Because I did one in Bromley and no one knew what was going on. Well I know it's a difficult thing because they come with expectations. I'll they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're their they're they're their they're they're th. Well. Well. Well. Well. th. th. th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoo-a' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to th to to th to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tou to tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tour tou tou t'll do, obviously, I'll try and be funny for a bit. And then I've got into the book. I've got, um, well, what I've done is I've gone through some of my old videos, uh, home videos and I'm so- It's a good way to sell a book in it, shams videos. Dada da da da da da da. Da da. Da da. Da da. So like, because in the 90s. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, in. I, in. I, in th. I, in th. I, in th. I, in th. I, in th. I, in th. I, in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, I've, I've. It, I've. It, I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the. I've. I. So, the 90s I used to carry a camcorder around with me a lot. Biggs and stuff. 250 quids a lot of money if someone falls over, isn't it? And so I've got lots of videos of, you know, the old days basically. Oh, brilliant. That'd be a great documentary. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it would or not but I think it's a mean I don't know if it's of interest of people but there's a really great bit I think anyway backstage it was like a

benefit at the comedy store and just the whole of the 90s scene is. Oh wow I'm definitely interested in this. So you know Mark Thomas and Joe Brand, Lee Hurst, Alan Davis, Eddie Izzard, they're all just crammed into that little room. Yeah, so lots of stuff like that and... You talk about the video, I've just remembered, I was like, why do I know about it? It's because when you wrote that, you're a really lovely article about Sean when he passed away. Yeah, yeah, I've got got a the the the the the th. I I I I I I I've got a th. I've got a th. I' th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. I's. to. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. I'm gonna try and come to that because that sounds amazing. Where on?

Where can we watch this show? Do you know what? I'm gonna read out the dates like I'm Steve Wright on Radio 2. All right, go on. You know, like when you go on Steve Wright and I'll read at every place? You need to look hotter. ever had. The guy looks so hot every time you know what, give him his due, I've never said anything he hasn't laughed at. Absolutely. Yeah, he's a great audio. What a guy. He's brilliant. He's the only one that's basically survived, isn't he? Yeah. Fill in that

job. And this is the reason because your fight book tours calling at London, Brighton, Brigham, Cambridge, Nottingham, Maidenhead, Bristol, Birmingham, Milton Keynes, Cardiff, Glasgow. Back to London for the British Library and ending in Manchester on the 29th of November. I've got, I've got, we did the, when I did the pub band gigs with Al Murray, you know, me and Al used to do a show. And we did thelitt in Maidstone and Vic Reeves came along and he was hanging out backstage and he got really drunk. He drank our rider basically. And he got a hold of my video camera and filmed himself and then invited us back to his place because he lived in Kent. And then he sits up his guitar, electric guitar, and my mate sits up his keyboard.

And it's like this sort of terrible jam session, drunken jam session in his house. So yeah, stuff like that. Me playing, me playing snooko with Joe Brand in Amsterdam. I don't know if it's of any, really of any interest. There's Bill, there's some really sweet bits of Bill and Sean in Glastonbury. Oh, lovely. Oh, that'll be great. So all those things together. I've definitely think that'll make a great show once you've done the book tour.

We should edit that together. Harry, it's been an absolute pleasure. No, it's been great talking to you. It's been one of my favorites. I'm throwing it out there, Josh. Josh likes to throw that out willy-nilly, but I only save it for some of the best ones, but it's been absolutely amazing, Harry. It's been great. You don't want to hear it from me because basically that's like getting a laugh of Steve right. You know, it's worth worth not not not not not not not not not not not not not not to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to to be to to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. It's to be. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the a the a the a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the. the the. the the. the the the. the the te. thea. tooooooooooo. It's. It's to bea. It's too. too Right, oh there's one question we always ask, Harry, one question before you go, we've loved this.

Is there one thing parenting wise that your wife's done with the kids that still does or used to really annoy you or wind you up, but you don't really bring it up because it causes an argument, just the way that she, you know, if she's something that she... She'd take their side, which is the worst, I mean, and I would do it with them against her, which is the worst sort of parenting is to take the side. What she'd say is, they'd say, you're a bit grumpy today, Dad, and I said, no, no, yeah, mum says you are. She's noticed it.

I'm yet to work out how you react to that. Because it just makes you more grumpy even if you weren't grumpy. Harry that's amazing. Thank you. See you later, mate. Brilliant. Thanks so much man. Nice to see you fellas. Good luck. Harry Hill. What a legend. I'm so excited. That was a hero. I was worried you was just going to do the full Harry Hill, what a legend. I'm so excited that was good. I was worried he was just going to do the full Harry Hill act, but he's got a good middle ground, didn't he? He's such a nice bloke and I also found it really interesting to, you'd never hear him talk about his family. As he said, he was forced to put it into his book. And it is really, what I love about this show doing it is you get to talk to people about about, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, the, the, to, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, and, and I, and I, and I, to, to, the, I, I'm, I, and I, and I'm, their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they.a, they.a, they. they. they. they. their their their their their their their their their their doing it is you get to talk to people about things they don't talk to normally.

Well yeah, exactly. I think we did go a bit comedy comedy there, but I can't help. I'm so obsessed with comedy that sometimes you've just got to go, I've got an hour with a very early. And I'll be honest, don't have a fuck when he's a daughter learn about, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, I to to to to their, I to to thi, I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I to th. I th. I th. I th. I, I th. I, I th. I but I'm I'm I'm a comedian before a parent when it comes to information. That was amazing. He's so funny. I hope it comes across as well in the podcast but his face is so he's so when he's saying all these things it's like a second laugh just by looking at his face maybe well I'll ask him and see if he minds put in a little clip of it online or something from the from the zoom. It's so funny. It's

got a gleeful little chip monkey face when he's laughing. Do you know what he's. He's so happy. It's just so physical. But he is quite deadpan that moves around a lot and yeah it's interesting what he's saying about the kids as well. What was it? Who cares? Is a the to say? the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to the th. to to the to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the too. the too. the the the the the the the the the the the the the Fight being his book, is published on November the 11th and there is a national tour to coincide going from everywhere from London to Tring to Manchester. That was Harry Hill, absolute legend. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed recording it. And we'll be back on Tuesday. See you then. Bye.