Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP39: "Can you ice a vagina?..."

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

S03 EP39: "Can you ice a vagina?..."More (mis)adventures in parenting hell with Rob and Josh. Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply hello I'm Rob Beckett I'm I'm Josh Willickham welcome to parents in hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what is really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice and of, of course, tales of the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their theirs. theirs. I trials theirs. I trials trials trials trials tri-a. I tri-a. tri-a' tra' tric, tric. A tric. A tric. A tric. A tric. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. trials trials trials trials trials trials ta. A ta. trials trials trials trials trials trials trials trials trials trials. trials. tria. tria. tria. t parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with. Can you say Rob Beckett. Josh Widdickham? Josh Widdickham? There we go. Oh wow, can I guess where they're from? Guess where they're from? Birmingham Way. Very close. Stoke on Trent, not far. Not too far. In fact, I've got his exact address because he's done one of the, you know that when you do a voice note and it saves it as the address where you've done it from? Oh I didn't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to to to to to to to to to to to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to the. to the. the, the, the of the you know that when you do a voice note and it saves it as the address where you've done it from. Oh I didn't know that happens. Yeah sometimes it'll just label it where you because of where

the phone says you are anyway you can't just drop that on me does it? Because sometimes I lie about where I am. Just in the cab on the way home home. Oh nightmare traffic. Does it do that? What's that? And what's that? Yeah, I've got one from you before it says Stringfellows and you're like, five minutes from doing the podcasters when you're a cup of tea. Yeah, well I was actually in Spearmint Rhino, but I want to look flashier. I was in Brown's Bar Shoreditch actually, pounding a pint. Oh my God. tho! I thah! I thah! I th! I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've got th. I've tho. I've got tho' th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've got tho' tho' thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' that's that's that's that's tho' th. I've. Does that still exist? Yeah it's still there. How do you know? Rob and Josh because I live around the corner Rob. Oh yeah it's my local you're allowed to go in there and put a pound. Is it still a pound in a pint in the pin's

the pint's four and then they strip? I don't know Robbyst I don't go inside but it's near to shoem but you're aware of the place. But it's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. I's a cultural. I's a cultural. I's a cultural. I's a cultural. I's a cultural. I's a cultural. I's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural. It's a cultural.there's a bar called Browns Bar which I have been to once or twice when I was a younger man where you go in it's late night drinking place but then there's a strippers and they go around of a pint glass and if it's filled of enough pound coins they do a strip. Yeah. Have you been there? No I haven't Rob but I... Ever? Not once I have intrigue? Well you've got to remember when I was a young tear away with the morals of a guy in his early 20s, I didn't really live in this area so I didn't know of its existence until I become the stiffest of stiffnacks. So you were just at home on Bave Station were you? Rob? Weren't aware of the local facilities.

Exactly. I was living in Turnpike Lane, Rob. It's a different world up there, isn't it? it's much much the then, th. th. th. th. th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It's th. It's a th. th. th. tomewiiiwiwiwiwiole. tomewiole. thiolomewereen. t. t. tomeaughen. t. t. t. Iaillain. Iaic. Iaic. Iaic. Iaic. Iaic. Iaic. Iaic. Iaic. Iae. Iae. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, I. It's, Ia. It's, Ia. It's a t. It's a t. It's a t. t. ta. ta. ta. ta.a. It'sa. It'sa. It'sa. It'sa. It'sa. It'sa. It'sa. It's a ta. It's Lane, Rob. It's a different world up there, isn't it? It's much more measured. Turnpike Lane was, it was rough. It was rough. It was rough. It was rough.

It was 50P in a short glass. Tom Crane who I lived with, had a gun pulled on him. Tom Crane who I had a gun pulled on him. Tom Cray, oh my to to everyone, out of him, he, he, he, he, the gun, the gun, to, to, to him, to, to him, to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, it, it was, it was, it was, it was, it, it was, it was, it, it, it, it, it was, it, it was, it was, it was. It was. It was. It was. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the toe, toe, to to to the to to have a gun pulled on. This is the man that's got swollen elbows and cancelled a gig five minutes before because his elbows got too big throw. He flooded the people below. We were in a flat, the people hated us, he flooded them because of them because of them because of them because of them because of them. He fell asleep. He's been a different incident. Okay, alright. Let's th. th. th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's. He's th. He's the the the th. He's thus. He's the. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. Five. He's th. Five. He's thi. Five. He's the. Five. Five. Five. Five. He's thean. Five. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. Five. Five. Five. Five. He's thean. Five. on him because of that. No, no, these were different incidents.

Okay, alright, let's not get bogged down by this. And like, I can just say, I don't like going to strip clubs. And I went a couple of times when I was younger, but even on stag doos. I have been on stag doos, but I don't want to be there on a staggy? Do you know what? I haven't. No. But I put it at the bottom of my list of things, actually one above paintballing, which is fucking awful. Right. Hello, it's just terrible painballing.

Just the worst experience in the world. Have you been? I haven't been paintballing, and I just think I'd get angry and try and fight fight try the to fight the to fight the to fight the to fight the the person to fight the person fight to fight the person fight the person fight the person fight to fight was shooting me just in my fists. Oh man just some guy who's just obviously annoyed that he's not in the army shouting at you going who's gonna win red or blue and you're like I didn't care I'm scared. In my experience anything that sold face-to-face in a shopping center isn't a good day out. Anyway so I'm over Josh here is my two-year-old oh god is that we've we've really wrap it in today look let's get this stoke this this this this this this this this this st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st out this st out this this this this this this this this this this this this this thoing thoing thoing tho? thus. thus. th oh th oh th oh thoing thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee who's the who's is my two-year-old trying to say your name. We've really wrap it in today.

Look, let's get this stoke guy. Let's see what he's got to say. Her name is Grace and being trying to get her to say your names for ages. She would always say it when I wasn't recording, but as she was exploring a new colour-readed lights of garlic bread dipped in strawberry yogurt. Oh, I mean, astonishing. Considering how bland the food my daughter will eat is. Oh my god, it's insane, isn't it? Oh mate. The bowl of plain pasta. It's haunting

in my dreams. What is going on with their pathetic little tongues? That sort of rationing, evacuee kids. A bowl of plain pasta. Come on, man. Come on. Splash of Tommy sauce at least. There's a whole world out there. It must be the worst holiday as well, right? Bowl of plain pasta. Then they eat it more when I pick it up and put it in my pocket and feed it to my dog treats. What is wrong with kids? Why? Did we do this? Have we a bowl of plain pasta? My mom said, on holiday once, I wouldn't eat anything. When I was three, they went to a place in Spain at my dad's mate's mate's vilet, the their their their thua's thua's thua's thina's th. th. th. th th th th th th th thu. thu. that. that. that. that. thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. that. What that that them. What th th th th that that. What that. What that. What that. What that. What that. What that. What th. What th. What th. What th. W. W. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th into that what you will. If anyone's seen her rise of the foot soldier, documentaries and films.

Yeah, it's normal for a working-class family, just go to a villa in Spain for three weeks, no questions asked. My dad's mate was called Mickey Pie. My dad's mate was called Mickey Pie. Well, no, who's the one for only falls and horses? That's Mickey Pie, isn't it? No, Mickey, I can see him as well. Yeah, I know, he's got the little hat on his little face. Yeah, the little pork pie. Mickey Pierce.

That's the one, yeah, anyway, sorry, so we've got space in Spain. My mom, all I would eat was cheese sandwiches and pickled onions. She packed loads of loads of bread, loads of the lumps of cheese and pickled onions and I ate that for three weeks. Oh my God, wow. I wonder I was a fat little bastard. God, do you know when the Beatles they went to India to go to the Maharishi his kind of yoga and meditation retreat? He loved all that didn't he, Lenner? Yeah, Lenin and Harrison all over it. Ringo, his suitcase just tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins tins ti ti ti te te te to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to te. te. te. te. I te. te. te. thea thea. te. te. te. te.ea. tea.ea.ea.ea. thea. thea. thea. thea. theathat, didn't he, Lennon. Yeah, Lennon and Harrison all over it. Ringo, his suitcase, just tins of baked beans. It's all it took. Just a full suitcase of baked beans.

Such a heavy case. Yeah, before wheels. That was before wheels and pre-plastic cups for baked the little four packs for kids. Yeah, that was pure tin and no wheels. Ring a big strong drummer arm dragging that round Gatwick. Got there, forgot his tin opener. Absolutely nightmare. A bit of fun. Right Josh, how have you been? Oh Josh, congratulations this week. You recorded the raw variety performance. Well I've got some exciting news on the all variety performance for you. Oh go on. Did did. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh Royal Variety Performance for you, Rob. Oh go on, did Megan turn up and have it out with Kate?

Yeah. Like tally? I was like, oh no but I did meet their Royal Highnesses, the Duke of the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate and William. Kate and William, yes, how are they? Well Rob. My set, as you'd imagine, covered both parenting and having a stiff neck, you'll be glad to hear. So you actually did a routine about having an actual stiff neck? I've got, well, a bad neck, yeah, I've got a routine. Because that's why it started from the stiff neck thing, from your bad neck, but you've got a routine about having a bad neck and having kids because you're a cool, hip, young guy. Exactly. I looked at a cool, I the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. thirty, I thirty, I thirty, thirty, th. th. thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, th. Yeah, th. I've th. I've thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, audience and I thought I know how to play this. That is, do you know what, that is incredibly astute because

I had a terrible time the first time I did it by talking about me and they did not want to hear it. I went on after diversity. It was like going on after a Star Wars film I didn't have a chance. It's mad what you've gone after. I went after the cast cast. I was tas. I was th. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast. I was the cast of the cast of the cast of the cast of the cast of th. I was the cast of th. I went th. I went th. I went th. I went th. I went the the the th. I was the the the the the the th. I was the the th. I was the th. I was to th. I was th. I was the th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was to to to to to to to to to to t. I was t. I was t. I was ta. I was ta. I was ta. I tole. I tole. I tole. I tole. I today. I te. I today tha. I tha. I thathe cast of Matilda. I mean you're good Josh but you're not cast a Matilda good. I'm not cussed with words they've got dance routines, children singing and you shuffle out. So obviously you stand in the lineup to meet the Royals in in order of performance. Yeah. I was next to Matilda. Oh that was good. She's been at school that day. And then just come and knocked out the Royal Variety performance performance the the the the to the to the to the to the to the the the to the to the to the to the to the the to the the to to the the to to the to to to to to the to the to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tie. tie. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta.a.a.a. ta.a. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. that day and then just come and knocked out the all variety performance in the evening she's going to school the next day. So who is she had Matilda there who's going to be probably some sort of Oscar when he mega star when she's older and who's on your other side? I Chris McCausland who we've had on the show. Yeah I forget you only will go on TV. Yeah I forget you only will go on TV. the only the only the only the only the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to only the to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go. to go. to go. to go. to go to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. there with two able-bodied people. Always, if he's not next to a disabled person, he's not on TV.

So the reason Chris McCausland was on next to me, wasn't that we were next to each other in the order, but because Chris was using me to show him where to go. Yes, so how does that work? Is that because Chris knows you the best or were the producers like look we've got a blind guy Whitticum consult it he knows what he's doing he's dealt with he's dealt with no feet before on lastly he can do no eyes he's got a name he's got a name name he's got a name yeah and I got an email a few days before saying would you be willing to do this and I thought I imagine saying no no imagine no no no Yeah, and I got an email a few days before saying, would you be willing to do this? And I thought you'd say no.

Imagine saying no. No, fuck him. Good luck, Chris. See you later. I don't know whether I was the first to get the email, whether Rod Stewart had gone absolutely not. Rod Stewart like, no, leave it out. I'm a knight. I ain't got time for that shit. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to the to to to. to. to to the to. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to fuck. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. to. F. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the best, so it's a lot easier in it. It's a lovely boat, Chris. Well, that's amazing. You next do Chris McCalls and the cast of Matilda.

Do you know who I stood when I did it? Who was either side of me? The chuckle brothers and Bernie Clifton. Great guys, but you know. It's very rare that you're the alternative act, isn't it? How's the ed the ed the ed the ed the ed the ed th, how's th, how's, how's, how's, how's, how's, how's, how's, how's, how's, how's, how's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, who, th, th, th. th, th. th, th, th, th. th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to, you're, you're, you're to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. th th th? These mainstream losers I'm going to shuffle on and do some of my stiff-necks shit about you know whimsy. Bloody Stuart Leaster between the chuckle brothers and Bernie Cliff. Look at him with a wry smile gonna write about this in one of his blogs isn't it?

Old Beckett. So yeah go on sorry. Little chat with Will. Will big willy style he very lean, isn't he? Yeah. He's lost a bit away. He's a taller than you expect as well. Very tall, and that's with no hair. Yeah. Imagine if he had a quiff.

Imagine if he had a quiff. Imagine. It's a big, he's got big sausage fingers. Have you seen his fingers? No? It's like a thing on the internet. It's like a Tick-Tock trend. Is it? He's got, he's got sausage. He's got fingers like Cumberland sausages.

Has he? I don't know, but hopefully, but having a big red posh fingers, isn't it? Yeah, I'm just googling Prince Charles Fingers. Yeah, honestly mate. Google Prince Charles Fingers sausages. Oh yeah, they are. Yeah, look at that. You wouldn't want to wear a ring, would you? Well I don't know. Camilla seems happy. Yeah. Um, so he, what was it saying? Yeah, so I had little chat with Will. Yeah touring stuff, blah blah blah blah blah. Just general, okay yeah thanks, that kind of stuff, yeah. Kate comes along, yeah, she starts talking. She says, oh, you're parenting, eh? I thought here's my chance.

Oh go on, what did you do? I said, well actually Kate, I do a parenting podcast with Rob Beckham, and we'd love to have you on. Yeah. Amazing! What did she say? She kind of laughed politely and then we moved on. Oh, well she's done Giovanna Fletcher, isn't she? I know, yeah. Well, that's what I found out later. What you should have said is, look, apparently, you go, yeah, do you want another kid but this

time with hair, come and see Widdocom. Like a big shaggy dog over her. hairline for days Widdickham. So there we go. Well fingers crossed that that booking comes off. Exactly. I've got a number so I'll give her a text. Yeah, good stuff. Just to be clear I haven't got a number. So you did that and then you went out on the, got drunk and then you had to do last leg the next day. So what's how you, and now it's Saturday. So that was Thursday. that was Thursday. that was Thursday. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that was was was was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. th. th. th. th. 10 a.m. the Saturday recording for Tuesday. Oh, well, so I got home at 1 yesterday. One AM. Yeah. So you know, Rob, the nursery rhymes that they were the complete game change because they were getting him back to sleep.

Yes, they're getting you to sleep. Yeah, damn it. We recorded on the Saturday by the time the podcast. To they had the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoomk thoast. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoastast. thoast. thoast. tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the time of broadcast. So he was up at 420 today. 420. Oh, that was the other thing. The night before Royal Variety, we moved him into his own room. What a decision that was. So he moved the baby into his own room the night before the Royal Variety performance? Did he sleep? Yeah, he sleeps fine. He sleeps through, if you the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby. So, the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby. So, the baby. So, the baby. So, the baby. So, the baby. So, the baby. So, the baby. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. tod. today. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time time time time time time time. time. time. time. today. tod performance. Did he sleep? Yeah, he sleeps fine. He sleeps through. If you count sleeping to 420, sleeping through. It depends when you start that through system, isn't it? Yeah, exactly.

If you're saying night times 4 p.m. then he's sleeping through. Yeah, right. Well, he's sleep seven till five. Seven. But then he's up for the day at 420? Well, he more or less is every day. Today, I managed to get him back to sleep at quarter past 5. So you got in at 1 a.m. Got up at 4.20?

Well, Rose got up to feed him. Then he was still making noise. So neither of us were sleeping. So I was like, I'll go in and I'll just try and get him to sleep because it's basically I thought it's a write-off and I was like I'll just do some until Rose had enough sleep and then I can go back to bed for the whole morning. What do you think got him off to sleep? What do you think got him to sleep?

the sort of sad eyes or the smell of alcohol in your breath? Well it was pitch black, I had one ear bids. Okay, pitch black. to. And to. And to. And to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their their their their to their their to to their to to to to to to their their. I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm just, to. I just, to. I just, to. I just. I just, to. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I was. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I doubly hungover. I thought there's no way he's getting to sleep and so I, it was because it was pitch black, I had one ear in, and one of my earbuds or airpods or whatever they're bloody called, listening to a podcast, rocking him in the pitch black. What podcast? Eh listen John, because that's what I listen to when I'm feeling down. Is that because they go a bit bit the thapk, thapapapapapapapapapape a bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit they're they're they're they're they're they're th dark. Why do you when you're down? Is that because they go a bit dark so it makes you feel better? It's because now I think it's because they're my friends and it stops me feeling lonely. Oh that's nice. Yeah. Well is it? or is it? Or is it

pathetic? It's not pathetic? It's nice because they're your friends and you're listening to them? And they make you feel less alone? That was nice. But then you got their their their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. they th. they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're th. th. they're they're th. they're they're th. they're they're th. thi. thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're th. they're they're they're they're th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeeeei. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're they're thi. they'rethem. Yeah. And they make you feel less alone. That was nice. But then you got him back to sleep, that's good. And then he went to sleep. But it was difficult, Rob, because it was pitch black. I didn't know if he'd gone to sleep. I was, it was purely done on, I was like, his breathing's changed. Oh, because you couldn't see him at all. Because I was in the pitch dark. It's like, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was, I was, th. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was, th. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was, because. It was, because it was kind. It was kind. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was difficult. It was like, because it was like, because it was like, because it was like, because it was like's tasks. It's never that dark. Have you got blackout Kearns then? Put it this way. I'm not going to put it that way, actually, because that's a really inappropriate joke. OK. Let's but let's beep out of them. We can beep out of the joke.

Put it this way. The room wasthat dark. You could see the other side of the case. You're in that darkness. Okay, fair enough. All right. So it's very dark. So you didn't know.

It was so dark. You went on breathing and put him down. Yeah. And it worked. And then went back to bed and then he woke up at like half six. It's untenable, Rob, 420. It's unacceptable. That is like, yeah, it's really. It just ruins every social situation. It's too early. I mean, I remember when we went to center parks with him when they were little, and my daughter woke up every day at like 4.30 and I remember waiting for baby Jake to come on the tele. And I, I, I th, and I th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, I th, I th, I th, I th. And I th. I th. I th. I that, I that, I th. I th. I th. I th, I that, I thin, I th, I th, th, th, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. And, thin, thin, thin, their, thin, waiting for baby Jake to come on the telly and I hate baby Jake and now I know that baby Jake's a grown up and I

if I see him I think I'd have a row of him and I know it's got nothing to do with him because it was 10 years ago and it's 11 years ago and it's a 11th. Because baby Jake's a grown up but he's 11. You're not a grown up but he's on so to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the to to the to to to the the th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the thi. th. th. th. th. their baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby. I'm their. I'm their. I's a baby. I's a baby. I's a baby. I's a grown. I I I's a grown. I I I I's a grown. I I I's a grown. I I's a grown. I I's a grown. I's a grown. I's a grown. I's a grown. I's a grown. I's a grown. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th's 11. You wouldn't recognize it though. But I know, but he was on so early in the morning. Oh God. And I remember it coming on and yeah, 4 a.m. is just a killer. I think we're going to have to think about some kind of sleep training. But it doesn't feel, but what's difficult about it? Because people are, like, I was talked to my friend, like, and his, and his, like, and his, and his, like, like, and his, like, and his, like, like, like, and his, like, like, like, and his, like, like, like, and his, and, like, like, like, like, and, like, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and, like, and, like, to thin, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to come, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.., the the th th th the th th th th thrown. thrown. thrown. th thrown. th thrown. th thrown. th tooo. thrown. th thrown. Four, th thi. Four, baby than us. And she was like, she can't believe that your son is like sleep basically sleeping for that long without waking up at like 1 a.m. or anything. I think it's pretty good.

Yeah, it is pretty good. Yeah, it is pretty good. But how's it still look? All right, don't get me up with me because your baby wakes up like a fucking But I know it's pretty good. It is good, you just have to go to bed earlier. It's like an hour and a half from perfection. Isn't everything? It's so tantalizing. It's so close. You're like, if you did 6 a.m.

All you need is that extra hour, I'll be on five. Josh, that's what life is. There'll always be something else. They will all want in is the the the the the the the thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thing is thi. Wanting is the thing that kills you. All right, I feel like Ringo Starr with a can of beans. Just say, because there'll be another thing. But I just embrace that, you know, you get a whole evening. Well I don't, Rob.

Well no, it's because you're out working, but Rose does. But I don't, yeah, but we're in bed. But we're in bed, but we're in bed. the tip. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. thin' thin' the. the. the' the. thin' thin' th' th' th' th' th' th' th' th' th' there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. Because theat' theat' theat theat theat theat theat theat' thea' thea' theat' theat' thea' there there there there there there the. Because the And not because we've got a wall-to-wall shagging, when in bed, trying to get to sleep, knowing that we're up in seven hours. Absolutely non-stop bang session, 9 p.m. till midnight, and then a couple of hours sleep back up again. You guys are animals. This episode is brought to you by Nispraso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nisprosso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk.

Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more, or an espresso boutique near you. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefined possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit MX.C.A.S. but got the bedroom back. Wow. Wad. Wow. How long? How long until you make, make the move, Josh? But, got the bedroom back? W. W. What, the to? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to................................................................................................................................................ bedroom back. Bound, wha, wow. How long, how long until you make the move, Josh? What, do you have a vasectomy? Now before you just sort of, you go, hey, hey, hey, babe.

Now we've got the room back. Rob. What you, uh, what's you saying? I am too tired for that. Because I, no offence Josh, I don't have you down as a sex man at the best, on your best day. Okay? On your best, I don't have you down as a sting kind of guy, right? So I can only imagine when you're tired what it is almost like, you know, like yoga with a partner.

My sexual tasks are pedestrian and I'm happy with it. You like doing it in the street? I'm... On the pavement, you monster. Uh, yeah, I think being a sex person's a bit overrated at points, isn't it? Yeah, I just think it sounds tiring and too much effort. Is that someone who's really into stamps, yeah, it? Yeah, you've got your thing, fair enough, but I'm not bothered. Sex is good, but, you know, let's not complicate matters.

Let's not overthink this. I've got enough things to worry about. Don't need to worry about the visperance, as well as everything else. I've been doing variety in the evening in front of the Queen! Don't need variety at home! Well, anyway, well that's good though, Josh. I think that seven till four is there. There'll be people listening to be very jealous of that.

I know. Not to make you feel bad about it, but I think, you know, four is brutal though. Yes. Well, we'll see how that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tho. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thoooooooooooooooooooo. the th. th. thoooooooooooo getting up at 5 of a dog. How's the dog? Do you know what to be fair I can't really moan it's fine. Do you know what it's horrific for about two or three weeks and once you get a handle on it it it's still a bit annoying because you're getting up early and stuff and real, whoa, guys, look, it's a couple of weeks of this. See how you get on, and then you'll realize it's not for you. You don't want anymore. So that's been quite good, but yeah, it's not too bad. We're taking it in turns.

Lou's doing more of the night shifts. the-year-old's obsessed with Remembrance Sunday, which is nice. Oh, wow. So, yeah, there's no danger of her not remembering, because she brings it up every fucking day since she got told about it. Yeah, when are you gonna die, when am I gonna die, when mom's gonna die, how old you when you die, what is old? Why there were their wars, why do people fight? Why do you have to remember? Where's your poppy? You need to wear a poppy. You must remember. Are you dead yet? When are you dead yet? When are you dead? When are you're gonna to do the minute silence thing?

So you know it's great education isn't it? Sometimes. Why the fuck does a free role need to know about remembering Sunday? Why they learned they learned it a nursery? I imagine so maybe that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they're they're to to to to their their their their they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to they're to to to to to they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. No, but it happens on the 11th, don't it? Oh, right, yeah. So maybe they did that and she's asked some questions. I know, I suppose they've got her answer the questions, but fuck, you know. One more to oversee the minute's silence at nursery. Screaming at him, you don't know what they sacrificed for you. Yeah, do like to die when you get old, but don't worry, we're not old. They did say, I went, what happens when you die, I went, and I just said, yeah, you just grow into a tree.

Oh, so you become a tree. That's nice. And then you're born a baby again. Did you? You went with reincarnation? Yeah, fuck? I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. to. to. to. I. Yeah. to. to. Yeah. to. Yeah. to. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. to. th. Yeah. to. the. Yeah. tha. tha. tha. the. the tha. tha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What?. What. What?. What?..... What, that... What, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. tha. tha. tha. tha. What tha? What tha?? Why not? Exactly, this could be the truth. It could be reincarnation, so I'm not, you know, not lying to her. But yeah, so I sort of said that. But also she's asking a lot of questions now, the three-year-old.

So what's that? She's noticing. So we went,'s that? I said, no shouting and being loud, and she was like, oh, okay. And then she went, oh, and no leaves, and it was a cannabis leaf. All right? She went, no leaves, I went, yeah, and then we're in the park, and obviously it's autumn. There's fucking leaves.

All right. This poor kids, like there's, I'd say on the floor, three to four thousand leaves. She's attempting to pick up on her own. But no leaves. I went, no, no, it wasn't leaves. It was just a certain type of leaf. Yeah, no, she went, what one? I went, a cannabis leaf. And she went, what's that? And there's a no cannabis sign and no cannabis site cannabis is

illegal well exactly but it's like saying no murder yeah no murder no yeah no stealing all the stuff please you know so I just said it's drugs you're what drugs I went there things that you have that make you go all weird I don't know if I'm saying the right thing but I'm very much a free we we we we we we we we we we we to to to to th you th you th of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that's a that's a that's a that's a th. I'm that's a that's a that's a that's. I'm that's. I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's. that's that's. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I don't know if I'm saying the right thing but I'm very much a freewheeling improvising parent. Yeah I think that's all right. Yeah so that's been going on. The other things well I don't know that I don't know that with girls. My daughter my five-year-old slipped on her chair and she landed like with the chair between her legs. She goes, how, how, it hurts, it hurts. And she's like, what can I do, what can I do to make it better? But I don't know what to say, Josh, because I don't know

how to deal with a vagina. I don't know what makes a vagina better. No, no, exactly. I don't know what the pain's, I know what, you know what, when you hurt your balls, the feeling of it stopping hurting is probably the best feeling in the world. It's almost worth being kicked in the balls. Yeah, that is something you can say. But I don't know if vaginas are like that. So I knew was asleep, so I didn't want to know I haven't got, I don't know what I don't know. I don't. I don't got. I don't got. I don't got. I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't got I don't know. don't know. don't know. don't know. I don't know. I don't know. don't you? I'm talking about drugs, vaginas and the dead. God! What a week! What a week! Because if she slipped in her head or her arm, I'd get a bit of ice to put on it. You can ice a vagina, can't you?

Cut! Who knows? I think it's a part of the body, Robbent. Don't be scared? Can't. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. th. the the the th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to next time. I don't know, but I don't know what. I'd say the last minute is probably the bit of our podcast that's had the most potential titles in the history. I don't know if you can ice a vagina, I assume you can, but I don't, I feel like I need a second opinion before I start cavilier. Yeah. You know what I mean? And if you just type vagina into Google, it's never medical, is it? No. Can you ice a vagina? I mean, it's not one of the most popular searches. Pain from friction or pressure should end on its own in a matter of hours. In the meantime,

an ice pack may help Volvo. There we go. You know for next time. Don't place the ice pack directly on the vulva. I mean, Josh, between you and me, fuck nose, which bits of Volver? You can't, if I've Google search vagina, you can't chuck Volver back at me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Do you know what I mean? No, that's not helpful. I'm just learning, what is a Volver? Also, I tell you what, Rob, it's good that you're doing this now because the thiiiogu, th th th tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thu- thu- thu- I' thu-I's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's the the thi thing you want is your kids to see that you're googling about their vaginas before you offer your advice. Well now I've googled it and then Volvo seems to be all of it. I've Google surgery it says

Volvo then it goes down to a little sort of like you know a family tree graph yeah so it has Volvo then this three lines coming off that says labia minora labia majora and clitoris so it says so so it so it so it so it so it so it so it so it says it says it says it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's so it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's is is is is is is is is a it's is a it's is is is a it's is a it's is a the is a the is is is is is is is is is is is a the their is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is a the their it's is is is is is is is is is is is a the is is is is a it's is a it's is a it's is a it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the thus thus the the thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus of it? I do think you should be on private browsing at this moment, Ron. It's medicine. This is a doctor's research. You're one Google click away from some some very interesting websites. Anyway, I don't, but you know, I don't know. Maybe we'll find out if there's, I'll ask Lou, but if anyone knows if you can ice a vagina, which bits of Volvo, let us know. In the me me th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the the th. the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. in the meantime I just left it and hopefully it'll be better. That's the hope that's the hope. That's sort of in my week really mate also I've got a dog voice as well I need to tell you about. You've got a dog voice. Yeah because when you need them to come to you you have let you let you get goodthem to come to you, you have to, like you, it's all... They don't understand. Good boy.

I'm trying to get this dog to come. Good boy. Oh, no, not like that. Okay, good boy, come in. Anyway, so you have to be like excited on high pitch, but I didn't know that. Basically we tried recall where you and it completely ignored me and went to Lou every single time. It was awful. You can do dog training? Yeah so we're signing up for a bit. It's fairly well behaved. It's just a puppy so it's just a bit of learning curve. But I do need a dog voice. But I do need a dog voice. But I do you sound insane but it's what you have to do. I'm afraid so I've got a dog voice now. I didn't know know. I didn't the dog. I didn't the th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to the to the to to to the to to the to the to to to to to to their. to to be to be. to be to be to be. to be to be very. to be very. to be very very very. It's to be very. It's to be very. He to be very. He's to be very. He's to be very. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the try. I. He's try. I. I'm. He's try. He's try. He's try. He's try. He's try. He's very very very. He's to be very. He's to be very. He's t one. Oh that's good. We should say that you can still sign up for the mailing list for our live show which is a Hain the Empire.

Oh yes live show the mailing list we are we this goes out Tuesday Thursday Thursday the email go out so if you go to our Instagram and go to our link in the bio you can get the mailing list link and you can sign up to the the the live show at the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. I I I I'm. I I'm. the toe. I'm. I'm. to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the trimea.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo show show show show show show is. they. I ishi. the the the the the to the live show. At the moment it's just Hackney Empire, however, if lots of people sign up all around the country, then potentially you might do a tour, but it depends on demand really. So if you're interested in coming to see us do a live version, please sign up and then we'll look at the numbers and see if we can do it and stuff like. As this stands, this is the only gig we've got planned, because we've got live stand-up shows talk plan for next year. Which my agent did say, I need to start mentioning. Yeah, okay, and that is a worrying sign.

Yeah. So you need to mention your tour shows for next year? She did say, it's fine, but you do mention the book a lot. to tickets to sell then basically? Well I don't know I don't ever look at the sales. I'd argue if your agent says it's fine yeah it's not. It's not. No. So do buy tickets for the tour. Anyway the reason I bring this up Rob is I thought you could do our if you do the mailing list address which we need to read out oh yeah in your dog voice okay right it's a long old one in it? Yeah it is a long old old old old old old the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their is is is is is is is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to t. t. I is. I's. I's. I's. I t. I today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. t in it. It's parenting help podcast dot male chimps. I can't do it it's too many good boy good boy it's a parenting help podcast dot mail chimpside dot good boy good boy. Very good good good. But if not just go on Instagram

Josh let's do some Instagram messages and emails for our peeps. Hi, Rob and Josh. Ryan from Chorley. You were talking the other week about where the weirdest place is to listen to the podcast. Okay. We get very excited by American and overseas listeners. Tokyo, I'd love a Japanese listener, if you've got one, please. Get in touch.

You don't have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th touch. You don't have to be Japanese but if you're listening in Japan that'll be quite nice to know. Anyway this is the weirdest place I've been listening. I've just had a vasectomy listening to the episode where Rob goes mental about his new dog pissing and shit in every two hours. Fun times got me through the 20-minute process of some bloke sucking around around with my testicles. I don't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoing tho-I tho-I tho-I thi. thi. tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's is tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-n. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi-I's is thi-in thi-in thi-n't thi-n't thi-n't thi-n't thi-n't thi-n''-n'eeeaneann't thia-n' thi thi thi-n't thi-n't icles. I don't think you should be sucking it right. Sucking, is that thing? Can you read that again? So basically what he's saying is he, had a vasectomy and he was listening to this podcast

when I was talking about the dog shiting and pissing everywhere. A lot of people are getting contact saying that I don't refer to my dog by its name. Anyway, Fun Times got me through the 20 minute procedure of some bloke sucking around with my testicles. What does that mean? Sucking around? Messing around or poking around?

But sucking around. Maybe do they suck. I thought they suck it. I thought they'd cut and they tie the tubes up. I don't think they suck all the spunk out. I'm going to give you a little treat I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm just a the the to to their I'm just, I'm just, I'll tap, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, I'm their, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'll tho, I'm the, I'm just, I'm th. th. I'll th. I'll th. I th. I th. I tho, I tho, I tho, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. Sso, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, thi, thi, thin, too, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck,unk out. I'm going to give you a little treat. I'm just going to pop down there and have a bit of a suck around. Let me just taste it. Yep, you're still fertile, unfortunately. I'm going to have to tie it up. It's the taste test. Oh, this is a good one as well, Josh. Morning slags. It's such an aggressive and funny. Morning slags, I was just on my morning run listening to the podcast when you start discussing running. I was on my last kilometer of my rum when Rob exclaims, if you're running listening now, go

on, keep going. Feeling encouraged by your words, I pushed on, full pace, maximum effort. No more than 10 seconds later I tripped over and sprained my ankle. I know, I've done him. Hoping nobody had seen, I got up and looked around sheepishly, only to know it's two young kids pointing and laughing at me. I learned two things. The kids and Rob Beckett owe me two weeks pay because I can't go to work. Oh no, no. Oh no, no.

Unlucky. Unluck. We can't keep calling people sl a bloke a slag. You definitely can't call a woman a slag. No, you definitely can't. So Lewis there, who I assume is a bloke, has called me a slag, so I'm calling him a slag, a slag, and I think that's a fair exchange. That's totally unacceptable. That's a slag agreement. That's a slag agreement. Hi Rob and Josh, I'm thoomomomomomomomom. On the pod recently you asked what things people wear to bed. I was seeing a guy once who used to sleep with a t-shirt over his head.

I asked him about it. He said it helps to block out any light. Sort of made sense, but his room was pretty dark so I didn't see the need. I asked him why he didn't use a proper sleeping mask. He said he didn't like the tightness on his head. I agree. I want my eyes covered. the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he tie tie tie tie he tie he he tie he he he he tie tie tie tie tie tie tie he he he is too tight. Totally agree. So they say I should go down a t-shirt route. Well, what do you do for light on the face? Well, to be honest, I just sort of lay there awake and then eventually just pass it out. I need a healthier bedtime routine. Try the t-shirt over your head. I'd probably watch T-Tik-Tiktp-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-Tik-t for the-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-thae-thae, the-a-tha. the-thae, the-thae, what their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the-tha. the-tha. the-tha. the-thaof-tta. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-s. ttax-s. tta-s. t-s. t-s. t-skkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkwwww-t-t-s. th-s. th-t-shirt over a head and also I imagine if you practice sleeping

with a t-shirt over your head, if you are ever taken hostage, you'll have a good kid. You'd be out like an absolute lie. I've got nothing to tell you, mate, apart from my sweet, sweet dreams I keep having. Yeah. How was the two weeks in the, um, being taken hostage? I'd slept like a baby. taken hostage. taken hostage. I. taken hostage. I'd taken hostage. I'd taken hostage. I'd taken hostage. I'd taken taken taken taken taken hon hostage. I'd taken taken taken hon' taken hostage. I'd taken taken taken ha'a'a'er. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hoa'er. taken taken taken taken taken ha'er. taken ha'er. taken ha'er. I've taken hoa'er. I've taken hoa'er. I've taken ho'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. I'm taken. I'm taken. I've taken hostage. I've taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. taken hostage. I'm really cool. You know, I'd probably ever better sleep than I'm at the moment, Rob. I came out better rested in actual facts, being taken hostage. It was a nice break. It was a nice break. Well, they do play the sound of crying babies as punishment in torture. Do they? Yeah, it's a technique. Oh, that would be. That would have a frying pen into the fire for me, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that would that would that would be, that, that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would be, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the the the the the the the th. It, th. It, thi. It was thi. It was thi. It was the. It was the. It was theat theat. It was theat thi. It was theat that that that that that th birthing story. My sister had to have a C-section for the birth of my nephew.

And whilst they were removing the baby and he was still attached by the umbilical cord to my sister, the exposure to the fresh air made him wee everywhere, including over the partition between my sister and the doctors into her face. Oh my God. Do you want to see this picture? Yeah, it's amazing. Do I want to see this picture? It's one of my favorite photos because all the staff, all the nurses and the midwives are pissing themselves laughing as this baby pisses on the mom's face.

I mean, what a terrible start to be in a mother. This poor woman. I mean, what a tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th tho th th th th th thi thi thi, what thi, what thi, what that is that is that is that is tho tho tho that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that, it's that, it's that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is thu, I thu, I thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th mean we're going to have to ask if we can get permission because that's got to go on Instagram. That is unbelievable. They are having the time of their lives. It's like an infinity pool because technically that baby is still attached. She's feeding the baby through the umbilical cord as it pisses into her mouth and it goes through and round. Horrendous. That is amazing. That is wonderful. And the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor. That the doctor. That the doctor. That th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. That is that th. th. It's that's that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is th. That is th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's that is th. It's that is and round. Horrendous. That is amazing. It's a great photo, isn't it? That is wonderful. And the doctor and the midwife are having the time of their life. I know they're loving that. Wouldn't you though as well? Long shift just see a baby pissing on its mom's face. Oh my word. That's the dream, in it? Embillical cord. The-Win' the thii. That's, that's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's the th. th. thi. thi. the thi. Thea, thi. Thea, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. That's their. That's their. That's their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thiiiiiii's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thii. their thi. their thi. their iblical cord? Yes, against my will. Yeah, where do you feel after too, don't you? I got bullied into it. Yeah, who by?

The midwife, what do you think? Timmy Mallett? Lo, I was there winding me up. Yeah, the midwife was like, you did. They're doing it, I've done nothing to warrant getting involved at that point. It took me so many cuts they said that they said the scissors must be blunt but I think they were being polite. Oh no Josh. I'm just gonna get it. It's like chewing through it like a cellophane on a video tape. Oh would you like a more tide than Josh story? I'm a dad of two boys, both of whom took two years before they slept through the night.

Oh, my word. Fuck off. But as though as an 18-month gap routine, we therefore went for around four years without an unbroken night's sleep. Oh my God. At one point, during the hazy period, I got up one morning trying to work out where it had gone, how someone could nick it and why that's all that have been taken. It finally dawned on me that I was sat in the back seat

staring at the driver's chair. What's wrong with their gaits? Is it lack of sleep? Oh my God. My boys eyes are confinley are now six and four respectively and while they wake at six a.m. every day those months of being so tired you feel like your face might fall off have thankfully passed from Alan Wilkes. It is mad though because basically what happens is you get no sleep until you basically just accept you get up at six for the rest of your life. Yeah exactly. I'd never used to go

up at 10am I'd never used when I just was gigging all the time yeah of course I'd get in about midnight go a bit about two after watching a bit of telly wake up at 10 o'clock exactly and that's all right you're working late nights right yeah but never never oh Rob so I had a car issue again oh no what's happened to your car so I was very close to the petrol running out okay how close what miles were you down to six miles six to to to the to the to the the to the th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th the th tho tho tho to to th to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te te te te teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I te. I te? What miles were you down to? Six, right? Six miles. Six miles. And I thought tomorrow I'm gonna go and fill the car up.

Yeah. Right? And then that night, went to bed, woke up at midnight, my daughter crying and we went up. She had croup. Have you, if your children had croup. No, never had. We've always swerved the croup. Sure, all the others, you know, chicken boxed a lot, chest infections, never croup. So croup is horrible because it's a cough, but it also sounds like you're struggling for breath.

My kids choked a lot on food growing up and I, oh God, don't. So it's like, oh, the sleep apnea. Like a sleep apneneia, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. C. th. C. Crope, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the crouped, the crouped, the crouped, the crouped, the croup. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Crop. C. C. C. C. C. C. Crop. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Crope, th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. trooppoo. C. trouped, crouped, crouped, crouped, crouped, crouped, crouped,? So we're like, well, you've got to take, but she's had it before, because she's had it before, it's less scary. Yeah. I had to take her to A&E at midnight. Oh no, was this last week? Yeah, this is one.

How's it's not the about his car. Okay, so I've had a fucking week, mate. Yeah, so scary. Obviously, this is the first time we've had to go to A&E at night when we've got two kids, so only I could go because Rose had to stay here. So I drove her to A&E to the car. So you didn't know she had a croop at throwne, you can tell because we've done it because we've had it before. Yeah, so is Croup an A&E thing or was she particularly bad with it? Yeah, they can't breathe properly. Basically, they're then give them steroids to take in a kind of orally like like cattle. Okay, so like in the daytime would you have taken her to

the GP to get the prescription or would it been that A&E again for croup? it gets worse at night so I don't know it's it's pretty horrible you couldn't bow on with your life. Oh no I'm not suggesting you do I just don't know what it is but so basically you need to get the the medicine as quick as possible really so if you go to A&E it's thin and out okay cool. Drove to A&E homemotton and also when you got kids fucking what's different between two miles to Homerton. OK. So with Croop, they've got to hear the thing. So suddenly she's not making the noise as soon as we get in the absolute classic.

Something you take a car in it. You take the car to the garage. You just sit here, we'll listen out when we hear croup, we'll come in. It's weak, because now you're hoping she's got croup again. You want it gone, but now you're there, you want to hear it? Yeah, exactly. You're like, come on, mate the sound, mate. So why's the wanting that gets you, isn't it, Josh? It's the wanting. It's all about desire. You don't want croup. You don't want to want to want to want to want to want to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to the to. the the the the to. to. the the to. the to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their. the their. their. the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. toooooooooooooooooooooooomooooom. tooooom. tooooom. tooom. tooombea. their. their.. Exactly. So we get the medicine, she makes the sound, we get the medicine, then you have to wait an hour until the medicine kicks in. Yeah. But she's fine. Okay. It's amazing how quickly your mood goes from worrying about your child's survival to fucking bored.

Fucking here again with her old crouping. Canting crooops in the town. Oh my God, just watching the clock tick down. 1 a.m. Anyway, get back home 3 a.m. I think I'll sleep on her floor. She doesn't want me to sleep in her bedroom, so I have to sleep next door to her bedroom to her bedroom in my office on the floor. Well, hang on. So you just want to to to to to to to to to to to the to to their to their to to their to their to their their to their to their their to their their to their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their tooomokexic. tooomokexic. tooomoke. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. you near her? No, I was like, I think just because the breathing thing and stuff. Yeah, so you just wanted to sleep with it, but she won't let you be in the room.

No, she won't let me be in the room. So basically I'm next door with the door open, sleeping on the Royal Variety Performance because she's had a nightmare and when I got back she was in my bed in my position so I had to, I'd done the Royal Variety Performance and I had to go and sleep on the floor of my own office. This isn't a story of a happy married man who's having a nice life and a good career. This sounds like a shamed sex pest that's now being forced to sleep on his office floor because of his terrible deeds. You're thops this should be happening to you. You're a good one, you're one of the good ones, Josh. Yeah, exactly. Well we've already said I'm not a sex pest. No, I'm not. I'm not. Yet. Yeah. You've done nothing yet. No, but bloody treated like one one. So anyway, next morning. Next morning, yeah. the ne. nene next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. Next morning. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. tho. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. the the the the, I've got to go and get petrol. One mile, it says.

It said one mile. One mile's not a lot in London, either with the traffic, is it? No. And the tension of that drive. Where's the nearest petrol station? There's no petrol station near you, because it's quite built up, and it's Cambridge Eth Road. Um... That's what you need, isn't it? Yeah. Right on the fucking nose, one, one click.

Drive really slowly, get there. I was the one thing I was thinking is, at least if I break down, I mean, there's men around to help me push the car to the side of the road or whatever. All women, Josh, all women, people. Women can push cars too. But Rob, yes, that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is th. th. th. th. tha? thaqq? thia? thoomk? thoomk. the thoomoomoomaqaqaqaqaqqqqqqqqqqqqq. the their. th Women can push cars too. But Rob, yes. That is true. Yep.

But if I'm- But what, mate? Do you want a gig on talk radio? All right, Mark Dolan. Start cutting up some masks in a minute. Talk me for it, yeah? You're in the street. If I'm in the street and I need someone to push my car with me with me me me me me me me me me me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the car with to to to the car with their to to their to to to their to to to to to to to to to to too to to tooom. tooom. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the the the th. th. the. to. to. to. to. to. try. to. to. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. to someone to push my car with me. I'd say because of my reputation as a sex pest that I've recently got this week, I don't want to go up to women I don't know and say, will you push my car with me?

It feels, it feels creepy. Can you push my car please? Well yeah, they might, I think you know, I think you know it my car please, thank you. Yes, it has got a Confederate flag on the front of it because I'm a big red-faced Gatman, a conservative Republican, yeah? And I do believe we have the right to bear arms, but please push this car, man. So did you make it? Get to the petrol station? You got you made it? By the way, I put a picture of the one mile thing on my Instagram stories and every comment was from a listener of this show going, I hope your tires were pumped up as well. It's like, I realize I have no ability with cars. No. As if to highlight that I get

there and then I've never seen this in a petrol before it says go in and pay before you do the petrol. So a lot my car go in, they go yeah that's wrong, go back out and do the petrol. I get back outside. I was that wrong because you don't have to go in? Yeah, don't have to go in. You walking back and forth don't contribute to the miles left in the car, does it? No, doesn't it? No, but I did lock my car to go in. Yeah, come out and I can't th. Come out. Come out. Come out. Come out. Come out.. Weak wrists. The metal lid bit. I can't do it and it's stuck. Isn't there a button inside the car? I couldn't find one. Have you put petrol in it ever? Yeah. I don't believe it wouldn't open. I was like oh my god this is a disaster. What am I going to do? I haven't got enough petrol to leave. Yeah I can't open the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol tapapapap petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol to the petrol the petrol to the petrol to the petrol to the petrol to the petrol to the petrol to to the petrol to to the petrol to to the petrol the petrol to to the petrol to to the petrol the petrol to the petrol the petrol to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol the petrol to the petrol to the petrol the petrol tap petrol tap petrol cap. I tape petrol cap tape. I tape. I tape. I tape. I tape. I then... What is it? What is wrong with you?

I don't know what I'm doing. Because I think I'm bad with cars. You're really bad. I'm really bad. I actually rung you in the week to ask you advice on a car. Yeah, you wrung the wrong car. But I think I'm going to get the one you've got. Yeah, well, I tell you' I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th th th th th th th th I th I th I the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I the, I the, I thin, I'm thin' tho, tho, th, th, th, tho, tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm th th. I'm th I'm th I'm th, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. thi, the, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thooooooo. I'm tho. I'm tho. the. tip Rob from one man to another, or all women. People to people, go on. From people to people to human. Human to human. When you lock the car, it does lock the petrol cap thing even though you don't realize.

Because I'd essentially locked the whole car when going in to try and pay. I'd locked the petrol cap thing. Who knew that? Who knew? Well we know now, man, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all the men, all, all, the men, all the men, all, the the the the the the the the the the the to, because, because, because, the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, to the thoomo, to the the thoooomoomorrow, the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to locked the petrol cap thing. I didn't know it locked. Who knew that? Who knew? Well we know now, all the men know now because it was man to man this conversation, yeah. Yeah, so then I unlocked the car to try and find a button to open the petrol cap and the petrol cap thing unlocked. So then I got in. Yeah. But for that minute when I thought I'm not going to be able to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open the petrol to open to open the petrol to open to open to open the petrol to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open the to open to open to open the the the to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open the to open to open the to open the the the to open to open to open the to open to open the to open to open to open to open to open the to open to open to open the the the the the the the the the the the to open the the the to open the to open to open to open the to open the to open the to open to open the to open to open the to to open to the to to to to to the to to to to the to to to the the be able to open the petrol cap thing here. And I was like hitting it. I was like this guy I don't, I'm pressing it hard. Have you got pressure in the tires now as well? Is that all sorted? Yeah because my dad came to stay so he did it for me. Oh so you still haven't done it. No, he did. he that. Oh, but you do, oh, so he showed you how to do it. I bet I love. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've th. I've. I've. I've. I've. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tire. tie. tire. tire. tire. tire. tire. tire. tie. tire. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. t in your tires, eh? Get old daddy, whitta come down. Is it a generational thing? Or are we just shit? I think two things. One, it's a generational thing where you sort of,

cars were something that's a bit more involved in. Now they're all so automated. You feel like you don't need to know anything about them? But before it was a bit of something you'd have have a bit. that they sort of do look after themselves to a point, but also back in the day you didn't have much else to do in the evenings. So they would go and put air in the ties for a little trip out. Yeah of course. My mom and dad used to go for a drive with the radio on. Yeah that's something people do go for a drive. Not anymore. So I think it's a combination of cars are more advanced now so they's they they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so they so th so th so th your dad's born and old bastard. I'm joking I love your dad also dad's name Tom Tom Tom great guy good guy

knows about air pressure there we go looks like I'm getting the same car as you now though so I'm gonna regret that well get the same car and I'd I'd highly recommend it don't don't don't lock it whatever you do before you go to put petrol in it okay fair enough Jish tha to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo too to to to to to to to to to to petrol in it. Okay fair enough, fair enough. Josh, we do small business shoutouts. I've got one more Instagram. Yeah, I know. Okay, one more Instagram then we do small business. Here we go. This is a good one. This is from Claire, this is from Claire. this is the spelt Clare. this is the splare. thr. thr. this is the toddler. I'm not a big fan of thininininin thinin thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th.. I've just listened to the story about the pub-eating toddler and this was when a toddler accidentally ate pubs, not that that's all they ate and it was like some sort of wacky eater program about the pub eating todd. Oh, cool. So can I say Frankie Bridge is going in the jungle. She came on as a guest. I think she's going to the tapapapapapapapapapapapap. I'm the's going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I's going. I'm going. I'm going to to to to to the the to to the the thin. I's. I thin. I'm thi. I'm their. I their the. I've the. I their their their their their their their their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've tode. I've tode. I've todd. I've todd. I've toddlu. I've. I've. I've toddlu. I've. I've toddl. I've toddl. I've toddl. I've toddl. I todd. I tip if anyone wants a betting tip on the jungle. I think Frankie Bridge will win it. You always make money on betting on the jungle don't you? You're good at it. Yeah I do. I got Giovanna Fletcher last year at quite hot long olds but that was an obvious one. Basically the key

to I'm a celebrity winners is. You want normally a mum with young children that she misses and cries when the letters come out. That wins. That wins votes. You want. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the. I do tho tho tho th. I do th. I do th. I do th. I do th. I do tho. I do tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th the. I the. I the. Yeah. I the theeeeeeeeeeat theeeeeeat theeeeeeat theeee, you're writing this down, a pop group, girl band or boy band, Keen Egan's one, you know, Giovanna Fletcher one, she's a mom with young kids and a podcast following, but also a boyfriend slash husband, I think his husband is in McFly. You need the power of the... Why is the popterms? Why is the pop group? Why is the pop group? Why's. Why is. Why is. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? th. Why? th. Why? the? th. Why? th. Why? the? th. Why? the? th. Why? the? th. Why? the? the? th. the. the. the pop? the pop? th. th. the th. th. the the the th. the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th... th.... th. th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th th th th th the the th the the the th the the the the the the th the th th th th th th. th the phone and vote. It's not about who's the most poppers, who's gonna pick up the phone to vote. So it needs to be pop groups, Kin Egan one from Westlife. And so basically, anything involved in a pop group or a mom that cries when their kids are young? She is the favorite,

Frankie, theybree, thee, theyrown, it's to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they, th, the, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, the, tho, tho, the, thee, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thr, and, the, and, the, they......... to, too, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... the tthaa. tha of the following of the pop group but she's you know in the Saturdays wasn't she and she's very popular on the telly and she's got young kids that she'd probably miss when she's away so that's my tip Rob there's four of them I've not heard of is that's embarrassing isn't it I know who know that Danny Miller they're the the theyranny M the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. David Jeunella, obviously I know him. Know him, yep. Richard Maidley, I know him. Yeah. Louise Minchin, I did Tipping Point against her. Did you smash as a piece in Tipping Point? Well it's not been out yet, but let's put it this way. Have a watch and enjoy. Adam Woodyat? Would ya? Would ya? Ian Bill? I'm not heard thian. I. I. I. I thian. I thian. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I did th. I did thi. I did th. I did th. I did th. I did th. I did th. I did th. I did th. I did th. I did th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I the. I thi. I tip. I tipeeeeee. I tipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I did the. I th musician. He's yeah, he works with lots of different people. Kedina Cox, Paralympian. Yep, you know all about her. Yeah, I've not met her, I've not met her, obviously. I've not met Snoochie, or don't know who Snoochy shy is. Snoochy shy, I think she's a DJ. Right. Yeah. I don't know who Mati Lee is. Mattie Lee is. Oh, he's he's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I's partner. Oh yes. Come on mate get you to grips of it. Can you, you're going to watch on a separate this year? No. I think you should, for the, you've never watched it,

I think you should. I watched it when Joel was in it. I think you should and let us know what you think of it as a little feature. I'm locked the car. Tom, come out me, please. I can't find my pet. Sadly, got one more. Oh, no. One of the best Alan Carr impressions I've heard in my life. She's actually been ripping off the female version of Josh Winnockham. That's the female version of Josh Winnock. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. Tom, th. Tom, th. Tom, th. Tom, th. Tom, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thooo. thoo. thoo. Come, tho. Come, tho. Come, tho. pubiting toddler quickly because we've run out of time. And it reminded me of when my eldest was nine months old, he'd just started crawling. One morning he came downstairs, I put him on the floor of the living room, and when I went in the kitchen to make breakfast, I came back after a minute or to notice, there appeared to be for breakfast. He was just chewing on a dead mouth. Oh my gosh. Awful. He's now a very healthy nine-year-old so hopefully

it didn't do him any harm but I still feel very sick each time. I think about it. Keep up the good work thanks for the entertainment, Claire. P.S. he occasionally coughs up hairballs, but apart from that, there's been no side effects from eating that mouse. And he can lick his own ass. Well done. Okay, very, that's a very healthy and flexible nine-year-old. Good luck. Right, Josh, let's do small business shout-out.

Okay, oh, Josh. We've got a lot of them. Tell me where to stop Rob. Stop. Right. Did you just pick one out of the list? Yeah, whatever it landed on. Oh nice. Hi, Rob and Josh. Hi, I'm Cat from Cheltenham, and I am the owner of Handmade Happiness. I make cards and wedding. Oh God, I've found out some sort of hand job enterprise.

Some sort of wanking, a wanking set up. Big happy end. Because you think you've had... Handmade happiness? It's not that right. No one's getting wanked off, it's separate. Okay, sorry. No. I mean it's not a bad business idea, is it? It's not the worst business idea. Just train stations in sort of small business towns, you're walking. It's almost like like an escalate, you're walking, someone wanks off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off wonks you off by the time we get to the end you leave. 8 quid a go, everyone's happy. 8 quid is not enough. It depends. Round it up to a tenor. Okay, no, eight quid but you always give them a tenor

and it's that sort of unspoken tip of two givor. Yeah, like the unshsoed. Yeah, the unshs. Yeah, the unsoen, the unsoen, that's. Heads or tails? Oh! Okay, cards and wedding favors. Sorry, let's do this properly about all the wonkies. Using biodegradable paper which contains wildflower seeds, so rather than battling with the guilt of recycling cards, the recipient can plant them. You can plant the card. Oh God, so she is actually deceding people.

It's all coming back to haunt of this business. Sorry I'm sorry I'm not talking. So you can plan the card. It contains seeds you can plan it instead of making a card it makes a card and gift all in one go. Oh that's nice. That is good isn't it? Actually I think I'd prefer that than a handjob. I'm getting older it's nice. You can put that on all your. tho promotional tho promotional tho promotional tho promotional tho promotional tho promotional tho promotional tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that tho that that that tho that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to that's to to to th. I th. I th. I the the. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I tean tean tean tean tean tean tean tean tean tean tean Rob Beckett, I'd prefer this to a handjob. You can find me on Facebook at Handmade Happiness Cheltenham. Oh lovely. How made happiness Cheltenham on my Etsy store which is W.W.W.W.W.XY's ETSY slash shop slash slash, X. Lash hadhaphaphapiness X. Lovely stuff. Okay, call I've got one here. This is hi Rob and Josh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I th. I th. I this. I this. I this. I this. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Lovely stuff. Okay, call I've got one here. This is Hi, Rob and Josh. We would be very grateful for a shout out to our small business, So what dad please.

It's called So as in SEW and then what dad. As in So what dad, but sewing. You get you get in the vibe. It's better written down. And it's, they're on Instagram. They're on Instagram. So what what th. a small independent family business consisting of a dad with a love of sewing and a mom with a passion for beautiful and sustainable clothing.

Joe and Jazz, that's us, love to give recycled vintage fabrics a new niece of life by creating bespoke quality handmade clothes for families to love, wear and share. They provide a service to remember, close to treasure and exquisite attention to detail with handmade creations in an array of sustainably s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to the. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to remember close to treasure and exquisite attention to detail with handmade creations in an array of sustainably source of vintage fabrics. We are offering 10% for all listeners of the podcast using the discount code, parenting hell 10. And that's parenting with a capital H and hell of a capital H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H.H. H.H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. we. the. the. the. the. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. H. A. H. H. A. H. H. A. A. A.co. To order or check out our Instagram at So What Dad, S-E-W-H-A-T, Dad, D-A-D, for Sustainable Clothing inspiration. Thanks Joseph. Oh, that's really nice clothes, actually. They're lovely outfits for kids and stuff as well.

Oh, that's really nice. Oh, my God, Rosie's going to love this, mate. What? or the look like the outfits. Oh right, sorry, yeah, well, I thought you should found something completely, I thought you'd found, I was like, oh no, no, no, he's gonna found someone who's selling knickknacks. No, there's beautiful girls dresses and stuff that are all handmade. So basically it's an old dress they get

and then he's so's a pattern on, that's nice. That is lovely. That's lovely. It's lovely. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's lovely. I's lovely. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.. I'm... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was. Friday with another Instagram And we're back on Friday with and I'm gonna say it Rob the kind of person you think would win I'm a celebrity. Yes, I'd have I put my money on him. It's H from steps. It was a great one wasn't it? Yes, he's a father of two twin boys Really really interesting. It's what we talked about surrogacy something. thirty. to???????? the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. thi. their. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. thin. their. th. th. th. their. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. the kind. th. the kind. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th discussed, but is something that a lot of people are going through or just deciding upon. So that was really interesting and loads of other funny stuff, and he does talk about steps forming as well. So it's got everything it needs, Josh. It's got everything you want. Look forward to it.

See you Friday. Cheers, bye.