Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP43: The Laddy Special

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

S03 EP43: The Laddy Special**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode Rob and Josh go full lad mode. If you can't take the level of laddiness you should listen to lesser lad podcasts like Joe Rogan you bloody snowflake.... #lads lads lads Thanks to everyone who bought tickets for the live show in January - we sold in less than 15 minutes! If you want to be first in line for any potential future live dates, merchandise, and any additional show info then sign up to the mailing list here;parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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to the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener with your tips, advice and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, tipe, their tri-a, their, their, their, their, can their, can their, their, their, their, their, tri-a, tri-a, trie, trie, trie, trie, tri, tri, tri, trie, trie, trie, trie, tip, tip, tip, their tip, their tip, tipes, trie, trie, tri-a, tri-a'''-a'-a'-a'iii., toe. to to to to to to to to to tri about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with...

Gotter come! And... Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with Gotha come. And Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett That was naughty. That was Hello both. I've been listening to your podcast right from the start

and you've kept me smiling throughout lockdown and beyond. Having three older brothers who like to teach him all manner of inappropriate things, here is my youngest George, who, at only two, has the extraordinary ability to burp on command. Wow. Which causes me much embarrassment when out but amuses the rest of the gang now end. Keep up the good work. Laura Hess from Hazel Mere. That is a brutal skill for your kid to have, haven't it? That's instant humiliation, massive laugh from the stranger, but the fifth time you've heard it. Yeah. Do you know what, Rob? I couldn't make myself burp until I was an adult.

Can you make yourself burp now? I think I can. But now, now the pressure's on. Go on, man. No, Ithere you go. No, go on. There you go. I did it.

Did you hear that? It's like little borrower. I imagine that's the sound of lulu-burbs. No, she does it like, wuh, that's not lullu-bub. No, you know when Dumbo gets drunk? Yeah. That was, that that, that that was that was that was that was like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's thiiiouueue. thiou-a. thiou-a. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. I'a. I'a. I'a. I'er. I tha'a'a'er-uh. I thooooooooooomoombuea. that's that's that's not Lily Burb. No, you know when Dumbo gets drunk? Yeah. That was like that. That's it. All right.

That's horrible. That's horrible. Sorry everyone, that's disgusting, isn't it? I prefer your little cute burps. Thanks, mate. That's like, well, you know, when you're the cutest. the cutest way she burps. That'll be the worst thing she does

and you'll make your skin itch. But yeah, lap it up now, lap dog. How are you? How are you? I'm all right. I'm very much looking forward to Christmas. I've got this so much juggling in December for me. I know there is for everyone. You're doing circus skills skills I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm think think think thin th. think think thin. think thin. think th. think thin. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. for me. I know there is for everyone. You're doing circus skills on Robin Romish. Circus skills, I have been doing circus skills. Well, basically. A bit of a joke. I'm just a joke about so much juggling. It was just a joke. Oh no, no, I've literally been doing juggling. Oh, well, there we go. Well, there we go. I've literally been doing juggling. Oh, well, there the the they. I I I've the the the the they. I I've the the the the th. I I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thi. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've been th. I've been th. I've been th. I've been th. I've been th. I have I have I have I have I've been th. I have I have I have I have I've th. I have I have I've th. I've th. I've th. I have I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the th. I've the th. I've thi. I've been thi. I've been thi. I've been thi. I've been thi. I've been thi. I've been thi. I've been thi. I've been thbish Christmas special is the circus. Oh, there we go. I performed at Zippo Circus on Sunday and you'll see that on Sky Max or Sky1, whatever it's called, soon.

So, yeah, but no, but for me, obviously with kids, December is busy anyway, isn't it? Because you have a lot of stuff planned if you go in Panto and all that kind of Christmasy things, plus you need to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, th.e, tho, tho, tho.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. And, their, their,. Plus you need to see all the family and luckily a lot of my family are local but some people you know travel around the country but also it's both my daughter's birthdays in December. Oh mate. Right, slap bang in the middle. I love shagging in March. I love shagging in March. I just love it. I just sort of get a bit youtime I start creaming eggs that's what I say.

Anyway, I think that's the ladiest thing we've ever said I start creaming eggs. But I think it's sort of... Following on from our burping competition. What has this podcast become? Right, let's get a ruble and let's go. But yeah, so their birthdays are in the middle. So then we have, I always try and like and like and like and like and like and like and like and like and like and like and like and like and like their and like their and like their and like their and like their and so their birthdays are in the middle. So then we have, I always try and like book off their birthdays from work, so I do that. But then if they have parties as well, it's hard to book that off as well because. Oh yeah, you're looking at four days. Exactly. And then on top of that, and we do a lotivities as well of course so you've got that's another day off I'm all enough yeah you're doing that for Robin Romash as well aren't you you're an interstate I'm not doing that for Robin Rommage but I went I went to my

six year old nativity who's in year one yeah I missed her as a to watch. the to watch it I'm the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th thi and the and th. th. th. th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You th. You th. You th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th th th th th the th the th th th th thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin th. I'm th. I'm thin th. I'm th. I'm thin th. I'm thin th. I'm th. I'm thin th. I'm a bad day actually, but a lot of worse things happened in the old Pannie Dee, but we missed that, was really upset by it. So I went to, she's a new one there, which means she was singing like a line of a poem, delivering, how do you do a poem? Performing, I'm performing, I suppose. Performing a line of a poem, performing, I, performing a line performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, performing, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. thee. their, their, their, their, their, their, their,? So you go and watch that, I went in and watch that. You got your masks on watching it, which I understand they've got to do that. But I think I would prefer, everyone has to do a lateral flow test and then masks are optional because I do think, because there was the year ones and year two and and re-the-tools and I think if they're performing just just just just just just just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just performing just BDIs. It's really off-putting. So I did a couple of... BDI were there? Yeah, I knew, I didn't know Liam Gallagher, just the backing band. Fuming with his new success. But no, so it's a bit BDI, it's why I did. I did break my mouth cover a couple of times to

flash my daughter a smile to show that I was thinking it was great. But also that was really good. The teachers at the end all said, you know, like, you can give a quick smiles. Because I think, I know, obviously you've got to be COVID safe, but also you can't leave children wondering all day if they think they've been shit because all they can see is their parents' eyes. Me and you know, you know, it's the ability to be able to, isn't it? they're so I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they're their. they're they're also. they're also. they're also. they're also. they're also. they're also. they're also. they're also. they're also. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tod. tod. today. today. their. their. their. their. their. their. they're they're they're they're that other people do after we've done a gig that were getting her head, like, you know, did you enjoy that? Do you think that went well? How did you think that line of the poem went, hey? And no, I didn't. Yeah, she was brilliant and it was great and she really enjoyed it. And I think it's just good for kids to start performing in front of people. So that was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do, th. Do, thi, thi, thi, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you. Did, did, did, did, did, did,the Nativity came out, and it was the reception class, and the Nativity is a long production if your kid's not in it. Oh, mate. Yeah, you're just some weird bloat watching other people's kids. Because the reality is, five, six, seven, four, five, they're not really cute anymore,

unless they're yours? Are they're just another living thing that's going to be in your way on the tube in about 10, 15 years time. Could you leave? I couldn't leave because my daughter's, what they do is they sort of leave your children on the side like bait that you think or they might pop up again and sing another song. Yeah, of course. But they don't. And you know they don't. So whoever played Humph got a few laughs. Oh nice. Because basically Humph just goes, Humph! But it was really good, it was lovely to see with the kids doing that.

I did lose it slightly though, and this is probably tricky for me to say, because I don't know if there's any tears of laughter. There was a girl in the performance. They're not going to say what she was in, like Josh Whittaker aka you and I couldn't think of anything else as it was happening guilty is charged Rob let's let's just put it this way around 2014 I didn't I had down to a to southeast London and I'm I thought you said that you snuck in and performed it you said that was your daughter no yeah it

could have been yeah I don't know you crazy I was trying to go back to our laddy podcast oh yeah yeah because we're the new Joe Rogan the th you are we? You know, apart from, you know, we're not musily, but we've got hair. It is weird that other kids thing, like, so my daughter's obviously, she was in a class with all the kids at nursery that I knew. And then you get it, so I don't know, what, we get an email where they'll be like, the description, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, where...... their, where.. their, where. their. their. their. their. their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the description of their day and there'll be loads of photos of what they've done so you get that every day and it used to be great because you're just like... Is that a firefly or something like that? Tapestry? Tapestry, we got tapestry or something. It's a good market to be in if you've if you've cornered that tapestry mustmine. Oh mate, and here we are plugging away with our stupid little podcast like a couple of losers.

Do little burps at 8 a.m. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. P. A. A. P. A. the. Can I explain what the current schedule is in our house? Yeah. I'm getting in. You felt very confident. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu-a stupid. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. P. P. P. P. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the stupid. the the th. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. not gone down as well as he thought. I'm getting in. You felt very confident about that last time I spoke to you. I get in about midnight at 1 a. Loo's done the long shift in her own. Loo's I think at a moment, Lou's having the harder end of the deal here because she's trying to sort Christmas out, and look after the two kids in the dog and I'm just going to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work the the the the the the the to the the to their. And I'm just going. And I'm just going their their their their their to to their their to their to to the their. And I'm just to their. And I'm their. And I'm. And I'm their. And I's their. And I's their. And I's their. I's the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. And I's. And I's. And I'm just their their their th. And I'm just th. to to to to to to to to to to toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Yeah, doing little burps in the shed on the podcast. So we're both, we're both at full, full pelt at the moment, right? But what we're doing at the moment is, because the dog, the dog normally gets off about six,

but dogs been getting up a little bit earlier for a piss, right? Do we get up, we get up with the dog right so the kids start waking up but we've been trying to even half five the kids been waking up so they've been going into my room because we've told them they're not allowed to go downstairs till seven I don't know why we invented this rule just trying to get hoping to the to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the kk k k k k k k k k k k kkkkkkkkk kkkkk the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the cat. So basically the cat comes in and sits on my head. Oh yeah, you've said the cat sits on your head. You've only said I didn't realize that was a long-term strategy from the cat. I thought it was a one-off. Well, no, yeah, and I cannot be clear

with my views on the cat. Yeah. Essentially, it'd be the doorstep but you continue to turn up every... What is wrong with cats? So we know all that, we know that sort of morning set up. But now the added bonus is I thought oh this is great they get a little bit of Lego so in the morning they can do a bit of Lego sort of like you know it's a puzzle, it's fun, it's good for their brains. No, all that happens is at 6 a m. Two children, one after another, come to my room with a little plastic bag of Lego that looks like festival drugs. And they go, Daddy help me build in the pitch black without instructions. And then cry if I can't do it. Oh God. I'm half asleep. So now I've got 24 days in a row of building Lego at 6 a.m. Is chocolate that bad? Is chocolate that bad after all, wrong?

No, give them chocolate. Send them downstairs with a chocky. I'm gonna, I'm, so yeah, it's been a disaster. And then Lou's fucking done me again. You know I was giving her shit for the chocolate in the afternoon, right? And she pulled me up on that, by the thanks. She's got a book vent which is like... What different book each day? Well, basically, she did it last year and she wrapped them all up, so you get 24 Christmas books, you wrap them all up.

For the kids? For the kids. I thought you meant for Lou, sorry. No, no, no, for the kids, she's got a wine one, the sicko. 24 bottles of red wine. Anyway, she's she has has, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's, she's got, yeah, she's got, yeah, she's got, she's the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. th. th. their. th. their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. a bit, and then she's up at five rearings a go. She's functional. Anyway, so I've got, she's got his book vent, so you open all the books and then you read a Christmas story to him every morning. Isn't that better? And they love it all before bed.

That's much better, isn't it? I'm thinking about on it, a little bit of ribbon or Christmasy stuff and it sits on the side, looks Christmas. What day is your book? What day are they reading yours? What? A class act? Oh, that's funny.

You know, that's a bit. You know, a chapter from a little like a couple of lines from a book you had to guess the book obviously just guess mine every time even though that was Lord of the Rings lovely great bit of Pia and they can't cut that out that's they can't cut it out they can't cut it out I can't cut it out Rob they can't cut it out they so so and are you doing elf on the shelf I mean I'm not doing a fucking the thin because because because because because the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a fucking the the the that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th that's th that's th th th th th th th th th th thou th th th th th th thou th th th th th th thou th th th th th that's that's th that's that's that stitch you up with it. You know you've got to do it one year. When to order it Rob? Yeah. Delivery 21st of December. What is the fucking point in that? Absolutely mad. Salt your stock levels out you pricks. Come on. They don't go off either, do they? No. Twenty-first of December? Why don't just say delivery? Well, we're basing on the orders we got in on September and October. We didn't don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is thi th the delivery on the orders we got in September and October we didn't have this many seems odd seems strange. How many of

them are they getting out the door for 21st of December what is the need? 21st of December oh my god we've probably got one in a box somewhere I can but that is fun for a bit you've got to do one year I'd say I'll do a way to I'll have one Robb because it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's the the the the the the the the the to the to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I th is is is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th the the the the to be the toooo to to. toe. toe. to the to the to the the the the the for a bit. You've got to do one year. I'll do it. I'll have one, Rob. Because it's arriving. Late December. You've got to do it for those last three days. Last three days? Look who's here. We're going to go get a tree tomorrow, but we had a very... Oh, by the way. What would you do about true, fake or real? Have we had this discussion. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. to.... to. to. to, the to, the to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, to, to, to, to. to, to. to. to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the the. the the the to early one year and it was a sad sight. Well, that's the thing we like going early with decorations, but if you go early of a real one, you're screwed. I love the smell of a real, Rob. Hate carrying the real.

And you're probably some sort of East London's sort of street litter, you know, just throw in the road at the end of the year. Yeah, and also I'd buy it off a dealer down the the to the the to the deal the deal the deal the the deal the the the the year. Yeah and also I buy it off a dealer down an alleyway as well Rob because it's East London. But yeah no we've got actually we went fake but if you spend a bit of money on fake apart from the smell you can't tell the difference straight up. Pop a couple of those car air fresheners on it no to tell the difference. It's pre-lit it's no wrapping it with lights. Oh oh it's good. I'm good. I'm just I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I'm just good. I're buying a real one every year after about eight years you get your money back. Yeah, I'm such a dad. But I love there's a Christmas tree place in Victoria Park and we go there and you feel like you're in a Hallmark movie. I don't want to be in a Hallmark movie I want to be indoors. Lit, pre-lit. Josh Josh at by 2030 I'll be making a profit off that tree. I'll look at it like an investment. That'll be my Bitcoin.

That's my Ethereum. Also, I imagine Rob, the old Wokarati. I imagine it's probably better. How have they not been called that? You've got to call on that on last leg. I think that. I think that. The bloody wokaarty. I'm sure sure that's that's that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tha. that's that. that. that's that. that's that. that. that. that. they're not they're not they're not they're not they're they're they're that. they're they're. they're. they're. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. that. their. that. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll. I th. I'll. I'll. I th. I th. I'll. I th. I'll. I th. I'll. I the. I'll. I the. I that. I th. I think that I think that I'm sure that's a phrase that yeah yeah I imagine it's much better to have a fake tree do you know what I mean because I am sacrificing a tree every year well yeah it can't be good for the environment can it chopping down a tree but then

you know but and then we are I'm reusing a plastic tree in exactly you're getting the most of plastic plastic plastic you get in the plastic the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tr I I I I I I I I I I I I off off off off off off off off off you the the the the the the the the the th. You th. You're you're you're you're you're you're you're th th. you're th. You're th. You're you're you're you're you're you that you that you that you that you that you that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're the the the the the the the the the the the th you're you're you're t. you're you're you're you're t. you're you're the t. you're t. You the the the the tree I I I I the the tree. You're the th. You're getting the the. You're getting the the the the the the the tree. the tree. the. the the. the the. You're getting the the th it's easier at the base. I'm already dreading the fucking base. There's no sloppy wet, smelly base. You don't want to smelly bottom. You know what I mean? You know what? You know what? Oh, no, they don't have horrible poos as well.

Oh no, no, you don't want that. And also we didn't want a real one the dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog the dog the dog the dog the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to too to their smell. their smell. their smell. their smell. their smell smell. their smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell. the the the the the their their their their their their their to smell. to to to to to to to to to to to to smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell. their their their too their their their too their their their their their too their their too too the the the tooome. their their their their you don't share on this, okay? Oh God, I feel so sexy all of a sudden, I'm like in March. It's a haughty near April 4th. Bloody hell. Is it lunch because I've got hard on. Block out December. There's a new baby in town. So, I put up a message on my Instagram stories, I can't even remember what it was, but it was very early in the day. And no one engaged with the content of the message, but all...

No one's engaging with your content, Josh. All I got was, what time did you wake up at 4.15? You're up at 4.30 this morning? They were really tapped into that being my life now, Rob. Because we went to the Christmas lights in Q Gardens. Oh yeah, at Q Gardens? That's a bit of a stretch from you, isn't it? Yeah, it's where Rose's mum lives. She lives in southwest London. So we went, oh, that's an hour drive, in a hour drive, or an hour, train? It's an hour and a half with traffic or an hour without. So you drove and it's a mom drive and what so what time did you go? Well me and there's a antiques market near Rose's mom's house so me and Rose we drove

down at like 7 in the morning dropped our daughter off with Rose's mom then we went to the market. Oh that's nice. Yeah that's nice. their daughter off. Oh that's a the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's that's the that's nice. Oh that's nice. Oh the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their time. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. time. time. the market. And so you've got the baby with you? Got the baby with us. Yep, and that's nice. She gets a bit of Nantime and all that. Yeah, lovely. So you've got, oh, that's nice. Okay. Yeah, very nice. And then, uh. Seven a times, early. You said, pre-Rus. at 630 Rob. 630 for a day out. Yeah you've got to remember we've been up to hours by that point so it's fine. You arrived for a bit of lunch what did you

have for lunch at 8 a.m. Plowmans. Nice plowmans yes. That's plowmans. So he dropped her off the daughter off. Yeah so he dropped to drop the daughter off. Yeah the Rose's mom took around the park which was a very good thing for her the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.............................................. Yeah........... Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah...............ook around the park, which was a very good... She gets a lot of park trips, didn't she, your daughter? Yeah, which was a very good thing for her to do. Although, there's an argument before a 75-minute walk around Christmas lights where you can only go in one direction. She was putting a lot of miles in her legs, should we say? Pre-marathon 5K. Yeah, you love taking

her outside near grass. Chuck her in a soft play, mate. There isn't a soft play near me. Has she ever been to soft play? Has she been to soft play? Has she been to soft play? Has she been to soft play? She could be like mogulay, she's only ever been in a park. She's got that, she's not got that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th got th got that that that that's got that's got that's got been in a park. She's got to understand heating. I'll be honest with you, Rob, she's not got that much interest in the park. We take her out because we feel we should take her outside the house. She's mainly interested in pepper pig and drawing. Yeah, sure. Okay, so she's gone to the park while you're at the antiques market. Yeah, so then, afternoon, the the the the the the the the the the the the the thiia's thi's thi's the comes to do the Christmas lights. We go there, obviously we're late.

So what times are Christmas? Because it's obviously got to be dark. You book for five, you booked, they're 20 minutes, 20 minute arrival slots. Yep. And it says if you don't meet your slot, you're not coming in. Oh, let's be honest. We all know that's bullshit. They're not thurning people away at the Q Garden's Christmas lights. Oh no, I don't, there's no one there that's going to enforce that. It's not, it's not O'Neill's at midnight. Exactly.

So we turn up. Some little national trust nerd with glasses on. Excuse me, you've missed your slot. Have I fucking stop me? You're both thrown the flare up his ass at Wembley, aren't you? I'll show you a Christmas light, mate. Excuse me, sir, have you got a flare up your ass? Yeah, yeah, where's yours? Is it Christmas or not?

What are we doing here? We're just walking around here about a flair up, mate, come on. That should be a new phrase. I'll have one out me mouth for a minute as well, let's go, double end me. Yeah, double end me, that's too far. This is the ladiest episode we've ever got. Oh, man, I'm gonna do it. Michael. Just don't choose double end me as the title of the podcast ideally. Just call it two top

top shaggers having a cat jump. Yeah, it's great. Shagg is perfect and having a cat's up. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual from the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nespresso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nespresso.cough.c.c.. to learn more, or an espresso boutique near you. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students.

It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber one for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Oh, sorry, Josh. So you got you going on the... So you got there. What time did you get there?

Well, the parking, you had to... There's no parking, but we were driving there. So you have to park a car park that they've got, which is a 15-minute walk from the place. What do you got 75-minute walk, don't you know? No. No. No, no. We're putting more miles in our fucking. the the th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. Too heavy to carry. But too heavy to carry. So she's walking. Guy director, so we get lost on the way there, walking around this pond that's like outside the national archives. Oh, you've got to, you've got to do these things first thing in the morning. I know you can't do crazy. I can't do it really early before it's come up, lights come up. You should have got it there at five. Wait a week.

You know, obviously a bit of waiting around to each breakfast, but then you'll air a fire. Oh God, Christmas lights panic me. I hate Christmas lights of the kids. So she's really getting out grown down my daughter as we're walking there. Rose is panicking. Rose is saying, they're not going to let us in, which is the eternal discussion me and Rose have. If we're ever late for anything like a doctor's appointment, she'll go, well, they're not going to, they're not going to see us. And I, I use my phrase, my always phrase, we're not the first people that have ever been late, it'll be fine. I reckon we've had this discussion 200 times. Lou does that to be, Lou. Loomeree it. And do you know what? Who does it really noise me?

When if we go somewhere that we've both of them have been... I've had a bit of blowback from Lou on that comment I made about what I know. No, she knows this annoys. It's a fair one to be fair one, to be fair. This is not me just being maddie episode. We'll go to a restaurant or a pub or somewhere we've never been before and he'll show you go to me, Rob, where are the toilets? And I go, it's not a bank job, I've not had the fucking plans for a week. What do you think?

How do I know? Just smell shit and walk towards it. Like, just ask. I don't, I've not been here. Sorry God so you're walking around so you're gonna be late. Yeah and you're upset and tired before the walk? My daughter is I'm keeping it try to keep an even keel. Is your mother-in-law there as well? Yeah she's keeping an heel great. Rose is saying that we're not gonna be allowed in. That's great I love having a row my wife in front of her mom I don't know about you that's that's my favorite time that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my my my that's my my that's my that's my my my that's my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not in front of Rose, but once she's gone we can pull you and go to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. The best thing about that is I know

Rose is listening so I'm just saying that to annoy her. That's the beauty of it. It doesn't even happen. I'm just saying it to annoy her or does it happen? We'll never know. Anyway, so then there's another couple with pushing two kids in buggies and then I'm like are you going there we'll follow you. So we're walking with them and my daughter's really kicking off by this point she's got too many miles in her legs. She already wants to go home. I take a chance. I think I'll just go on the black cab app, see if there's a black cab. One is two minutes away and he's on his way to us. And so I say to this couple.

To drive through Q Gardens? No, just get us there. It's a 10 minute walk. It's a 10 minute walk. I don't want to drive through the way like Colin McCray rally. We got the 75 minute walk done in 10 minutes. Exactly. Did you see the lights? Not really. It looked like a blurt. Don't mind. Off we go.

So anyway, I have to say to this couple, you go on a head. I don't want to tell them I've got a black cab. Oh, you rat. You got ahead, guys. Yeah, Black cab turns up. We get in. You know, like on an app, when you get in and that's the first time they see where the destination is. Yeah. And he's like, that's the destination. Mate, you can award that. He's absolutely effing livid, Rob. Really? Yeah. Come on, it's a fair. I mean, it's a fair. Well, they have to have card machines in apps now and they have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their their their their their their their their their their their tap. tape. tape. tape. their their their their their their their their their their their their their fa. their faq. their fa. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their their tap. tap tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. t have card machines in apps now and they have to start paying tax. So a lot of the levy.

I know I tipped him 15% Rob. I tiped him a bit more out of guilt but he was fuming. Livided. Absolutely livid but it was our only option. Anyway we pull off outside the thing, get out of the black cav, absolute, absolute humiliation. At the same time? At the same time, yeah. Oh God, but that annoys me about cab drivers, because I'm like, okay, it is in a long journey, but it doesn't mean you're not allowed another job for an hour. No, exactly. And I've just taken you back to a hub of people who are trying to leave Four pounds. But I tipped him 15% as well. That's sweet, sweet 15%

so. Yeah, which was another 50, another 50 P. Four pounds. It's about three quid just on the meter getting in. But anyway, we then get into the Christmas lights. I've never known any and a family to be this upset before or entry. Yeah, so we start walking around. My daughter is flagging badly early on. Sugar, go for sugar? then. then. Yeah? then. Yeah? then. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah? then. then? then? then? then? then? Yeah? then? then? then, then? then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, which, which, which then, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, th? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, th? Yeah? Yeah, th? Yeah, th me, th me, thi? Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the thi, which is the the the thi, which thi, which thi, which? Yeah, so we start walking around. My daughter is flagging badly early on. Sugar, go for sugar? Yeah, we buy some tuos. She says, yeah, a big old carb, carbcoma. She says that she wants to eat them sitting down. There's no seats Rob, anywhere. And the problem is she's then going, I want to go home, I want to go home. But you're locked in. It's as, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my, as my th th th th thi, as my thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thag, thag, thag, thagu, thagu, thagu, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi, thi, thi, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thog thi, thog thi, tha, thi, their is she's then going I want to go home I want to go home but you're locked in it is as my mother-in-law said it's like IKEA it's a one-way system so you've got so the only way through is to walk to

finish it oh god what do you do shoulders she wouldn't do any of it she wouldn't be picked up she's just complaining she's been away for 14 hours at this point yeah Yeah, exactly. Out of nowhere we come to a place that's selling chips. A chip shop? A chip shop. Well, I wanted to say chip shop, but it was like a stall selling chips. A Christmas market store. A Christmas market store. Because I think a Christmas market is basically normal food that you'd buy but two quid more expensive. Exactly. Two quids, two quids generous. I paid five quid from fucking hot chocolate mate. Five quid. Five quid. Five quid. That's more than the taxi. He needs to jack it in and start selling hot chocolate

that dude. Come on, you're in the wrong game. Get some marshmallows. in the wrong game get some marshmallows get a bit of squirty cream clean up so you got the chips are the transformative effect of the chips was like nothing I've ever seen suddenly everything was right with the world and that night was like parenting because then the next half hour was completely magical oh really yeah I know disappointing for this podcast. This is a story of hope. Yeah and then it was amazing and we had an but that's what parenting's like isn't it like is it hell or it's amazing like there's no, yeah like so you're having these magical moments you

suddenly forget all the awful bit or when you're having an awful bit you forget the magical moments you never you can never get perspective on both of them. And it can turn just just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th of th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. And it can turn on a six-pence. It's just instantly. A portion of chips. Exactly. That 15 pound portion of chips has changed your day. Yeah, and we had this amazing time and I'd highly recommend the Cougarden's Christmas Lights.

It was brilliant. And then we left, and then the moment we started the walk back to the car it was back to her legs hurting. Of course. Of course. No taxis this time. And instantly I forgot the magic. Instantly it was the worst night of my life again. So what time you get in? Well this is the beauty Rob. We got in at 9 p.m. Oh it's a late one. She got nursery the next day? Yeah. Yeah. She got a nursery the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to ta ta ta ta ta ta ta. Of ta ta ta, of ta, of ta, of ta, of ta, of. Of ta, of. Of ta, of ta, of ta, of ta, of ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta. Of ta. Of ta. Of ta. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course, ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta Rob we got in at 9 p.m. It's a late one. It's a late one. She got nursery the next day. Yeah but that wasn't that wasn't the that wasn't the interesting one got in a 9 p.m. it only

bloody not my baby's sleep. No way. Yeah if you've got a baby that's waking up at 4 am get to the fucking Christmas light. So what time did he wake up? Six. Wow, okay that is mega. Yesterday he did 515 Rob. I, 515 now that's good. No, he did 515 again today he's knocked into the fives Rob. The glorious fives. I thought it was only a dream. But I'm living in a world where I'm getting up after 5 a.m. now. I'm living it. I'm living it. You know it's 8 minutes past and you're rounding up. It was 10 past today, yeah, but like, but I'm living a post 5 a.m. world. So you're in a post 5 a.m. because I think you know, 7 a.m. is the ultimate dream, right. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the the th. th. th. I. I'm. th. the the the the the the the the the the the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, at 7 a.m. is the ultimate dream, right? But, you know, but six, I think everyone will happily accept you. You take a six.

I don't think anyone should be complaining in the sixes. No, you're not complaining, but you're in a seven. I think you should feel guilty. Yes, I think you should, and shame. Yeah. If you're at eight o'clock, you're at eight o'clock, and their their their. And their. And their. And their. And their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll, I'll, you'll, I'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to go to school. Do you sort your life out. 8 o'clock, you're mad bastard. 7 o'clock is the ideal. 6, you can moan a little bit, but you know you're living on easy street. 5 is awful but acceptable. 4.30 is the end of your life. Yeah. I'd say that is perfect.

And I look forward to that tea shirt being made with the descriptions of the wake, the wake, the, the, to, the, th wakhomen, to, th wa, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, thi, to, to, you're, to, you, to, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr., times of what they mean because that absolutely sums up the experience of every parent. But so now the pressure is on for you need him to hold that 510 a.m. I don't want to go to the Christmas lights once a week to reset him. It might be worth it. It was hell on earth for 80% of the time. But 20% of it was the most magical Christmas moments of my life. Well, we're going to that Laplan place in Ascot, the Christmas E. Place, so I'll let report back on that, but that's a day time thing. We're going like on a Saturday morning. Oh, lovely. So I'll let you know what that's supposed to be just, it's supposed to be nice. Right, we should have some Instagrams before we do small. this, the Volvo and vagina debate we had. We had lots of messages when we was talking

about vaginas, basically lots of messages but short and swift, Volvo outside, vagina inside. Right. Which is sort of feels like some sort of discriminatory sort of pub policy. Yes. Vulver's outside, vagina's in. Off you go. I think this is a tired story Josh you like these. Oh these are my favorite. Hi Robin Josh before pay up pump when my kids were smaller they all fell asleep coming home from school slash nursery and I needed petrol so I I thought there was a perfect time to get it as I didn't need to get them all out of their car since yet this is a nightmare when you need to get petrol but your kids are waking the car it's a night... to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the to the their. I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the their. I'm the their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And th. And. And th. And the petrol but your kids are waking the car. It's a nightmare getting them in and out and you can't leave them. So I'll go out of the car and by habit I locked it and went to get the pump and put the petrol in and the cover wouldn't pop.

Oh that's why it was me the other day isn't it? Yeah. I stood looking bewildered pushing the cover and started to the tu-Imaugh. the the cover. the cover. to panic. the cover. the cover. to panic. to panic. the cover. to panic. the cover. the cover. to panic. the cover. the cover. the cover. to panic. the cover. the cover. the cover. the cover. the cover. the cover, I was the cover. the cover. I was their, I was their, I was their, I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tape. I was tapeckleau. I'll, I locked, I locked, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, tape, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'llired I started to cry and a very frightened looking bloke asked if I was okay I blubbed out some I blabbed out some sort of reply and he said shall I force it open for you I said yes he went to his van and got some sort of tall and snapped a lot part of the cover just as he did it literally as he snipped it I realized it wouldn't open as the car was locked so Josh you're not the only one. Oh God. At the time, oh my god, at the time, I had twins age 18 months and a five and a half year old. So my only excuse was tired of this.

Oh, I imagine going on to tell your partner that as well. Oh yeah, we need a new petrol cap. What happened? I don't know, probably just hooligans. Local thugs. Do you know, I've had to move my car off my road, Rob. Because they're installing extra fast broadband. Oh, I can't wait. Extra fast. But like, they're they're trumpeting some fibri cable. Do you know what I mean? Trumpeted. Well, BT, I know there's BT. Because my holiday mate, my holiday mate, it works at BT. Oh, there. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It's so thi, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, that, th. It fibrary cable. Do you know what I mean? Trumpeted. I know this BT because my mate and my holiday mate works at BT. Oh there go yeah yeah. Said that baby's still touch? Yeah actually we're gonna I'm seeing him next week. Oh yeah I'm gonna drink. Oh yeah I'm gonna drink in London because the other ones down from Newcomman. How are you the ladies? You're eating up all three of you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. th. they're. they're they're. they're. they're their. their. they're they're. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t the t the t the t the the today. the the holiday. he's in London. He went, do you want to go for a drink? I was like, yeah, go on.

It's quite nice meeting, sort of like holiday mates, because there's no baggage, you sort of just talk about, excuse me, so you sort of just chat about, oh I want a holiday fun where sometimes you meet you up with your own mates. Oh God, you've cover the holiday? I think it's going to be a huge nostalgia trip of the holiday. Do you think? Yeah. Remember that? Fewing jokes from the lads. We're called the 1030 Club. Because that's what time we used to meet in the lobby to go for drinks. Yeah. I'm called the 415 club. the the 4. I the 4. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.... Yeah......... Yeah............ Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Yeah. I don't know what was what was I saying?

What was I talking about? Oh yeah BT I've promised the government that they're going to install super fast broadband to every home in the country by a certain date. Oh wow they've they're doing me at the moment Rob they're doing me at the moment and I can tell you. So you where's the car? I've had to park it right. I'm not actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually I'm not actually actually actually the the the the the the the the the the the the. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. What. th. th. t. tt. ttttttte. I. I. te. te. te. te. tell. I. te. tell. I. tell. I'm. the. the. tt? I've had to park it right by. I'm not actually that far away. It's not that bad. As soon as I brought it up, I thought I shouldn't have brought this up. Even for this podcast, this is slight. You get a cab, four quick cab to it? I would say it is a minute walk.

Okay, that's not too close. It's not good enough. It's not good enough. It's not good enough as a note of that Josh is not simply not good enough. You wouldn't get that on bloody You know what? I I was gonna say off-men you I don't know Yeah, but they'll be too busy asking when there's someone like right some fucking crouton or whatever they do Ed too busy Ed Gabel will try to work out who the weird sort of culty person James is booked. So which American sitcom you in? Ed Gable just desperate for Golden Ramsey.

Um, right. I listened to an episode. I was slagged off in it three times. Was you, here who do you think you are episode as boring? Well, no, that's all of those shows, isn't it, really? I'm joking, I thought it was interesting, John. No, I like watching you with him. I know it's Bants, but they didn't know I was going to hear the Bants. That's what's weird about it.

But they've been doing to it because I heard Jack D. slagged off Ivo so I wanted to hear it. Oh what did he say about Hivo? A bunch of little bitches aren't you you lot? He told me? He must have heard the story about when Hivo supported Jack D. No. Ivo was supporting Jack D. Yeah. Ivo went on and then he came off and it was the break and he said to the guy at the theater, I want to get some dinner and then I'm going to watch Jack. What's what the takeaways around her? And the guy said, the only thing around is an Indian. And he's like, oh, do you know what, I'm, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the to to to to to get to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. I. I to get to get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, rice, narn, pop-doms, the works. Yeah.

Came back, Jack went on, I ever set up a table at the side of the stage with his chair, had his full Indian while he listened to the show in the wings. So he sat and had an Indian tele-like in the wings of a theatre, not in the dressing room. No. That is was it. Halfway through Jack stops the show and goes, can anyone smell cup of soup? And loads of people in the audience were like, yeah we can smell. And Ivo's Indian. He's heckling him with smell. Yeah, his smell had infected into the whole theatre. Anyway, Jack Dee was slagging off Ivo based on that story. Yeah. So I listened because I wanted to to to to to to to the to the to the to the the to the the to to the the the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the show, can can can the show, can the show, can can can can can can the show, can't the show, can't the show, can't the show, can't the show, can't the show, can't the show, can't the show, can the show, can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can the show the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the show.a. the the show cucoa. the show off Ivo based on that story. Yeah. So I listened because I wanted to hear what Jack D said.

Okay, and then they slagged you off. And then just slag me off. What else did they say about you, mate? So, I can't even remember. It was all, it was all, you know, it was all good fun. It was all good fun. It was all good fun. It was all all. It all. It all. It all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was all. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was all. It was. It was all. It was all. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. It was. Good. Good. Good. Good. It was all. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. laughing it when they slag you off. Anyway okay oh here we go I've got another Instagram then we do small business shout we're not we should do it we need to a catch-up special of Instagrams well let's do purely who we got on Friday we got Ugo Monya on Friday beforehand I'm gonna tell you the well is

dry of anecdotes with me will do pure Instagrams and emails one one last the last week you asked about where people are listening from well I live in a the well well well well well well well well well well well the small the small the small the small the small the small the small the small the small the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is th is the th is tho th is th is their th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the the. I the. I the the. I the. I'm the the. I'm the. I'm the where people are listening from, well I live in a small village under Mount Etna in Sicily. Oh! Called San Alfio, a population of 1,400 people, and me the crazy English lady who is giggly listening to your podcast in the car. I have two children but much older now, a 20-year-old daughter who's at university and a 14-year-old son who's just started high school here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here year old son who just started high school here in Sicily and listening to you both makes me laugh as children get older the problem just get different oh fuck off Jane sorry Jane don't

drop that on me from your mount and mountainside villa fuck sake I need hope I need hope sorry that mean that really that really, that really just came out. No, it's fine, Rob, it's fine. It's totally fine. I'm a tired boy. I'm a tired boy.

Right, anyway, small business shout out. As it's been such a laddie episode, shall we redress the balance and the most stiffenac thinne we've ever received. Let's go, yeah, let's go a tha, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahthat. Hi guys, just wondered if you can give my awesome mate small business a shout-out. At Bouchar-cha, that's B-O-O-CHA, CHA, Bouchar, is a service which applies all the necessities to brew your own combuture at home. Oh, yeah, because I've been waiting to do that. I knew you were the target market Rob. Yeah I just had to work out what it was first but now I know I think I want to brew it. Do you know what there

be a lot of people around my way who won Bo Cacha that is so fun and healthy for mind and body find her on W. W. W. to w-bu-chacha chau chah chamb th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a th th th thu-a th th thu-a, I th th th th th th th thu c-a thu c' thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th the. Robe. Robe. Robe. I the. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I the. I the. I the. I.uk and order yours thanks Dean. Bob, how many of them are they selling in Southeast London? Combuuch, I'm combuchied off my nut as I speak mate, I can barely pull a string sentence together. What is combuuchery, is that a healthy gut stuff so it's a bit like it's got stuff in it that makes your stomach good. Yeah, I think so. Rose's mom's big into it and the gut. Rose. Ro gut. Okay, it's fermented and it basically is good for gut health. Yeah, yeah. Because I tell you what, over Christmas, my guts are all over the place. Get yourself some Bo Chacha at Bouchar Char.

W.W.W.C.C.C.W.C. What are you got for me? Right. I've got another shoutout. This is a clothing company, this guy. I haven't got his name actually. I can't remember his name. What's his name? His name's come up.

But anyway, he's a guy who wasn't working much during the lockdown and started up a clove company called the Third Monkey. And his fitness clothes. And I mean, he's a friend of a friend of a friend, so actually I did get given one of the t-shirts. This is, it's not. I'm sharing this. I don't want some sort of Matt Hancock abuse by giving contracts to pub landlords.

But no, he gave me a t-shirt and it wanted to be fair, I wear it quite a lot and it's a really good, really good clothes. And it's it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I, I'm. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I's. I, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. for third monkey.com and you go on Instagram and it's three R D full stop monkey and yeah loads stuff there's bubble hats there's t-shirts jumpers hoodies and stuff but it's all it's quite good I've got a couple and they're quite thin so they're quite good for exercise because they look quite cool but they're not really heavy you know and I know I'll wear them on holiday as well actually it's quite it's good stuff to they they they they they they they they they th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo th the the the th th quite, it's good stuff to be for. Are they helping you get ripped? Yeah, it's great for my nips. I just look so fuck, I just have tonk in it. But yeah, third monkey clothes,

yeah, and go on their website. It's those are nice stuff for Christmas presents and things like that. Right, Ugumonia on Friday, it's a great.