Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S03 EP7: "Sometimes you've got to engage the stiffy..."

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

ROB BECKETT & JOSH WIDDICOMBE'S PARENTING HELLS03 EP7: "Sometimes you've got to engage the stiffy..."More (mis)adventures in parenting hell with Rob and Josh. Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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to the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener with your tips, advice and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, tipe, their tri-a, their, their, their, their, can their, can their, their, their, their, their, tri-a, tri-a, trie, trie, trie, trie, tri, tri, tri, trie, trie, trie, trie, tip, tip, tip, their tip, their tip, tipes, trie, trie, tri-a, tri-a'''-a'-a'-a'iii., toe. to to to to to to to to to tri about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with.

Can you say Rob Beckett? Oh, Gaga. And Josh Winnockum. Godgiggle worm. Good girl. There we go. Rod Giddleworm. Rod Giddleworm.

He sounds like a character in a league a gentleman. Rob to Kindle, what? Hi guys, love the podcast. Because all the free content, I've bought both your books. I'm putting that into every email now, Rob, even though they haven't said it. It's just like free PR. Thank you very much for buying both our books. Cheers, thank you for buying both our books. Thank you both for giving us a laugh in this shit storm. Hence, I've bought your books. Our kids are the same age as Izzy's, so can relate. This is our two-year-old Amelia doing her best for you. Oh, thanks Amelia. Ellis James is fuming about the accusation that he listens to his own

podcasts and laughs. Yes, that was an accusation leveled at him by his wife. A wife, partner, is he? Mother of his children. Better half, should we say? Oh, the old ball and chain, the older indoors. Mr. Saddlecap, I just made that one other. What Mr. Saddlecap, let's get that in usage. That's what they sound hen doos about their husbands, isn't it? What Mr Saddle Cap at home? Oh, misery guts. Oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their that's a their their their their their their their their their, a mother their, a mother their, a mother their, a their, a mother their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their mother thi thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. their mother their mother their mother their their their mother their their, mother the sound Hendo's about their husbands, isn't it? What Mr Saddle Cap at home? Oh, Misery Guts. Oh, Misery Guts. That's what my mom and aunties would say about their husbands. Yeah, misery guts or silly bollocks.

Or that old fuckericks. Misery guts is quite a nice one, isn't it? It turns out of that station the kindest. Misery guts, that's the one. Oh Josh. You sound like you're full of the joys of spring. I am full of the joys of spring. I've had a fat old coffee and I've had a busy week but I've managed to survive it. I've been busy workwise, parenting wise and socially wise.

Oh my word, the triple threat. I went to the boxing last night and I've not been to the boxing in 18 months, Josh. Right. What's the boxing, what boxing was it? It's fight camp? So it's normally it's all at the O2, isn't it? And York Hall and places like that, stadiums for Anthony Joshua. But they've done this new thing called Fight Camp, which are like the big, which are like, which are like, which are like, which are like, which are like, which are like, which are like, the boxing, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, which is, their, which is, which is, what, their, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, boxing, is their, boxing, is their, is their, their, their, their, boxing, is the their, boxing, is the their, which is their, boxing, boxing, boxing, which is on here, Barry Hearn. Basically, Barry Hearn's house was so big that he bought another house and turned his old house into an office and it's got a garden that's so big they actually set up like a mini arena in it and they've been doing fight camp at the HQQ of their company in the garden so it was only 250 guests and it was like a VIP special package type thing and it was quite expensive for a to a th........... It. It. It. It. It. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, so, thi. It's, so, thi. It's, so, so, thi. It's, so, so, thi. It's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, expensive for a ticket but it was so it's amazing because you were like I was probably like six feet away from the the fighters and wherever you were like well close you could hear the spit and blood right yeah you could use it was it was like

it was mesmerizing to see people in that environment normally there's like 10,000 people but the thing was it was quite scary because everyone there is a boxing fan and boxing fans it was th th th th have th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th you you you you you you was you was you was you was th you was th th you was th th you was th th th th you was thi thi you were you were you were you were you were you was like you was like you was like you was like you was like you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was you was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi000 people. But the thing was, it was quite scary because everyone there is a boxing fan and boxing fans have got a bit of money. I've never seen so many hard people in my life. It was like a gangster's wedding. And on top of that, there was a man of a mullet and a burberry short sleeve shirt. Oh wow. I've never seen a man wear a short sleeve shirt unless he's driving a coach.

No, no, maybe a short sleeve holiday shirt Rob like a kind of yeah this was a bit business pockets on the front. Oh and yeah and I think Josh it's a go alone Rob. No I went with my my mate, my mate, agent, agent, oh yeah, mate, first agent second and until it comes to something business-wise. Excuse me. Until he gets you a bad deal, hold on. And then it switches again for a few years.

So we went together and it was like, and he was so, I've never been anywhere where there was a one stiff neck. It was wall to wall loose neck. Honestly, even the organizers are normally stiff, Bill Barry and Eddie Earned. It was wall-to-wall loose neck. Honestly, even the organizers are normally stiff, Beals Barryard and Eddie Earned. The loose-quast the generals. Do you know what annoys me about this event? What's that? So they've got a, they've put an arena or a boxing ring with 250 guests, and presumably

like facilities in their garden? Yes. Literally half an hour before organizing this podcast, I was trying to get to to to to the the the the to get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their garden. Yes. Literally half an hour before organizing this podcast I was trying to get the measurements of some soft play to see whether we could fit it in our garden. All else a little soft play for a party and I'm thinking we might need to do this in the park. You've got to move out. They're in Essex they're outside they don't want to move out to Essex Rob so that I can fit a the box the box to fit a to fit a the box to fit fit fit fit a their 25th- I don't want to move out to Essex, Rob so that I can fit a boxing ring in my garden.

That's exactly what I want to do. That's the difference between me and you, mate. I want to move out somewhere where I can fit a boxing ring in my garden. But yeah, no, so I'm very excited because I went to that and also I've been doing some really fun parenting with the girls. I took into Pizza Express and this is funny. They have hummus with the little, you know it, yeah, hummus. Not my first road, yeah. Not your first PE. No, it doesn't really work does it with Peatrixpress. You just think a PE, don't you? Yeah, chill on it. Anyway, they brought the garlic butter instead of the humus for the kids and they're dough ballsballs and my little one got a spoon, I didn't look, I didn't see,

she literally spooned in a whole massive teaspoon for the garlic butter, right? And she screamed like she'd been attacked and everyone looked round and then she went, tastes like poison! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! It was so funny. But then we were outside and it started raining. So then I was trying to move, it was just me with the two kids, move me two kids and like pizza plate inside and then the little one was advent she wanted to carry her cup of juice, obviously spilled it all over her, dropped it on the floor, all went up her, went over

another bloke sat next to us. And in the end I had to take her skirt off, so she just sat in pizza express eating a brownie in her knickers and a t-shirt. What a week, Rob, what a week? And I went out with the school dads. Oh yeah, right, so we meet at Southeast London pub, right. And the thing is they're all all to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take all to take all all all to take all all all all all all all all all to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their sk.. their their their their their their their their their their their this. Sport me through this. Okay, right, so we meet at South East London Pub, right? And the thing is they're all very nice and like quite middle class the parents. They're lovely lads. Worryed they're listening. Not worried at the to'er, the too actually, because basically you'll find out why. Basically, all verys, apps, by the way, I did a round for about 15 people, right?

And when you're a bit drunk and you do a round, you don't mind it. At the end, you get a shock, don't you? And they get this and then you sort of cry in the toilet after but when you're going through the app you see how much everything costs oh god you've got an itemized bill you start hating certain people for their drink choice so what were you cheap drinking oh so too fair there was like you know beer like beer a few like crafty al a bit of that kind of thing it weren't it weren't the the their their their. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they they were they were they were they were to to to to to to th they were so so to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their so so their so their so their so their so their so their so they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their so th their so th their so th they. th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thy ales a bit in their oil that kind of thing it weren't 15 moretties which is what I'm used to so we're doing all that but then at the end you you all drink all on an app and then it goes tip the barstaff I've just spent 15 minutes scrolling using my data my phone my charge and now and I've got a ip, I don't be tired, but they've not done anything apart from

make the drinks. Yeah, I mean, I, I sort of think, come on. That's a bit cheeky, you know, I've done after work, can I split the tip? I've taken the order and put it through on the system. You could tip yourself, Rob, and then it's tax deductible as well. Yeah exactly. But anyway so we went for drinks. I mean I think I think I agree with you more or less in theory. It's a bit rich to worry about using your own charge on the phone. I don't know. Sorry I was you know when you add you you add a few things in my data still on all that. Yeah you must be on unlimited data if you're not ro fucking sort out. their thi. I' th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. I's. It's. I you, I was on there Wi-Fi, so actually online again.

But so it was all, because we've never really met and I think, what I've realized is when your kids start to school, you do have to spend a lot of time with these people. It's inevitable, like with after school clubs and all different things and you go and watch their shows. So, you know, and I wanted to make sure that I knew everyone, I was, to, to, to, to, I, I, their, I, I, their, their, their, their, I, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, their, I, I, and, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, and, to.. And, to. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, toa. And, toa. And, toa. And, toa. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And wanted to make sure that I was knew everyone, but I turned up a bit late because I was doing a gig, so I got at eight and they're all really nice, but everyone was it was quite calm, and then I got just a bit pissed, and then what was really funny was, it was there was proper geese over in the corner, and because it's a bit where I live, it's quite nice and you've got like commutary people, but there, but there, but there, but there, but there, but there, but there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it, it was, it, it was, it was, it, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, thi. thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And then one of them went, oh, Becky, come over here. I want you to see my mate's teeth. And I was like, I crossed the whole pub.

I went, no, no, no, come on, Becky, you're a today. And then, so we'll have to bleak that. So now, I've got these have to do in that situation, I go, no, you come over here. Because if I go over there, I'm there bitch all night. Right. So I always stay on my ground and go, nah, come over here if you want to say hello or have a photo. Anyway, so we come over here, if you want to say hello. So he's about, this bloke's with selfies under talk. You go, now fuck off, you fuck off, wheeh.

And if they call you the sea word, that can be really complimentary. Yeah, of course, you tell yourself that. So, so this is going on. You get a lot of compliments me most mornings. Yeah, Lou compliments me most mornings. Always send it on bloody getting this big head. Stop it, stop it, when I'm driving as well, the compliments I get. Hell the time they're waving at me calling me the C word. But you know it can be complimentary.

So I know this is fine. It's all about tone. It's all about tone. I know I've dealt with these kind of builders before I know this is sweet as a night. They've ripped you off. He's. It. It. It the the the the the the the the th. It th. It the th. It's th. It's th. Stop. It's th. It's the the th. Stop it. Stop it's th. Stop it's th. Stop it's th. Stop it's th. It's th. Stop it's th. Stop. Stop it's to to to stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the to to to to to their. to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to the the the the th. It's all about tone. It's all about tone. I know I've dealt with these kind of builders before. I know this is sweet as a night. They've ripped him off before. He's called me. He's complimented me loads of times. Anyway, so he goes back. But all the other lads thought I was about to have a fight. So it got quite tent. And I was like no, that could be quite complimentary saying that and then then basically I got too drunk and carried away and then I started calling all them the sea word by going to stop your chatting and drink you drink it so I started treating a bit like a stank to and I got over excited then shots came out. What time in the evenings this is this Rob? This is eight to 11 right and then shots came out? And then one of the geysers was talking about binge drinking and he like he like he like he like he like he like he he he he he he he he he he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't so so so he don't so th. he don't so th. He don't s. He don't so I don't s. I don't s. I don't s. I don't s. I don't s. I don't s. I don't s. I don't s I don't s I don't s I don't so I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't he don't. He don't th. He don't th. I don't try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try t a binge drink but then it worked out that he had like two Guinness in four hours and then so he was called Mike so it was calling Mike the binge and there was another bloke called Mike

the Minge when I say we me me I've got way over excited and they're out of control and then they've all started doing shots so they've all got into it right so so then another couple of them we were getting all the the the the block the block to the block to the block to to the block. the block. the th. th I I th I th I th so th so th so thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I'll tho tho tho tho thi thi. I was just tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. they're they're all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all. tho. tho. tho tho tho tho tho tho to thoo thooooooooooooooooooooo thoooooooo thooooo thoo tho tho tho? So then another couple of them were getting all shots in, so it was all having shots. And then the bloke, we gave him a bit of bad for not drinking that much, did a shot, then squeezed lime in his eye, and then sniffed the line of salt. What? I know, he just went mental. And then, it was great. And then in the end, at six, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th........... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. to. th. the, thi. the, the, the, bloke's house until two in the morning getting better.

I came home steaming, Josh. Amazing. And also, the thing was, yeah. It was for the good of my child's education. Of course, Rob. Of course you're bonding. It's the new gulf. So it's amazing.

I've got to ask. Yeah. . amazing. I've got to ask, have you seen them at the school gate since and had a kind of... No, because it's summer holidays but the WhatsApp group's been flying. Right, so it's not going to be awkward at the school gates. No, but I, because it had been very official the WhatsApp group, it was quite corporate. And then just before the drinks, I text, what we're doing lads, we just on beer or shall I get some gearing for a laugh laugh.... thapapapapapapapapapap. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that thi, I's that, I's that that that that that, I's that, I's that, I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, I's that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm, I'm, that, that, I'm that, I'm th in for a laugh. Bloody hell, that's a gamble, right? It's a gamble, in it. That's a joke and a half, isn't it? And then, I text, obviously only joking for the record, so fast after. So, like, so fast. Like, to the point it actually wasn't worth doing the joke. It was too quick. Oh, there there's nothing worse than than it, itthat you when you bottle it straight away on a once that true. Immediately, immediate panic. And then I was so worried

that someone was going to put an order in and it get really awkward. Like if someone was serious, do you know what I mean? But anyway it was great so and it's really I think as well I was so relieved that they were all really nice lads. Yeah. I was th. I was th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. I was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was really. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was. I was so relieved that they were all really nice lads. Yeah. I was like, oh my God, we've got 15 years potentially. What someone did suggest, should we go bowling next time? And I went, I ain't going bowling. But like, it was a bit rude actually, I felt bad. I went, I ain't going bowling. I went, we've got 15 years of this. Let's just be honest.

Honest. There's no fucking one going bowling, lads. If you want to go, go, I ain't going. But I think that's the best way, in it, Josh. Yeah, I think that's fine. I think you've got to be a bowlers try. We should have it with people, Rob. He's straight with people. You should have problem with bowling. That was funny. That was funny. that was funny. the thes. th. th. th. th. to, th. th. th. th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thoo. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. It. It's. It's. It's t t toda. It's. I's. It's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. It's. It's to. I'm. I'm. I'm a bit like that. But the thing is the mums went out the week before and it was very civilised. Yeah, of course it was. Yeah, of course it was. Yeah, so it was fun. I will think I was just really relieved that they were really relieved that they were really nice because I was again. No, so maybe I'm the bad egg. He complimented all of us too much. I think what I've learned from...

He won't go bowling. They're actually going bowling. Should we just go bowling every time? That's a way of him not coming. They've all got their own shoes. Oh no! They're all chatting with the vibe off. Let's just do this normal one in the pub and then we can get back to our bowling club, right guys? If I learn, if I've learned anything from going to the football at Wembley is that if

you're the worst drunk then no one can annoy you because you're annoying everyone else? Yeah, but that feels awful the next day if it hasn't blown up on Instagram right. It was it worth it? Was it worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth worth. It was really worth. It was really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really th. It was really th. It was really th. It was really th. It was really th. It was really th. Was th. It was really th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was was really th. Was it was really th. th. th. th. Was was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was th. Was, was th. Was, was, was, was worth worth worth worth worth. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was, was really, was really, was really th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was really worth, was really worth, was really th. Was really th. Was really th. th. th. th. thi was really thi was really thi was really thi. thi was really thi. So that was good. Yeah, so you had a very positive week as a parent. I had a really positive week and then we had really a lot of fun. And now they're five and three, they are just fun to go out with for the day, like at the park, because they can just manage it. You're not behind that stage where you're just so scared of them falling falling falling falling falling falling falling falling falling falling 2024. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.

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A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Oh, this is the problem in our house. So it's all, so I don't want to come on here and be all full of the joys of spring. I think it's too late. The sleep situation in our house. Basically because of the heat wave there was going on to to, on Friday when I was trying to watch Love Island, they went a bed at half 10 to bed at like 10 o'clock. Why are they going to bed at half half half 10 o'clock? They've got no respect. On Friday it wasn't even that hot. No exactly but they've just got into this sleep pattern now. Oh my word. They's they're the the the the they're the they're the they're they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thee. theee. theeeeeeeeee. theee. theeee. thee. the. the. time do they use to wake up? Oh, 5.6. Oh, is it a, is it, is it worth it wrong? This is the thing?

I know, that's what I'm saying. For me it is, because I'm be, I've been out working in the evenings a lot, but for Lou, I don't know if it is. going out, losing out as well. You know, you're not, you're not just one of those, you know, those kind of, piss-set dads that doesn't give a shit. I'm a piss-it-dad, I care as well. Exactly, Rob. You're both fisheads, you're both fiss-heads and it's fine. They get up, make their own breakfast, do you know what I mean? I think of is just my taste, but I would prefer to have my, I like the early mornings during the Olympics Rob. It's genuinely taking what, I took one for the team on Saturday, up at 10 to 6 and I had an absolutely phenomenal time. Well yeah, I'm okay with Brett

Mornings now. I'm much better morning since the old Pani D, when I've not been working in evenings as much. I've been doing like working progress shows, I-in, I-in- for my tour like 630 p.m. right in the evening which you like to do them Rob it's a perfect time for comedy Josh I'm at I'm home or in the pub the pub I'm in the pub in the pub in the pub in the pub in the pub in the pub now everyone's WFH everyone's if everyone's working from home. Why do we need to start at 8pm? I thought that's what you're saying. No, everyone's, everyone's, well people are going back to the office, but I think 8pm might be too late for a gig. Is there a market for an earlier start time now if one's flexi working? Well I've always thought I'd love, I'd love a Sunday lunchtime one rather than evening. Because loads of people would go to that. the the the the the th. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Lose. Loan lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lose. Lo, lose. Lo, lo-a, lo-a, lo-a, lo-a, lo-a, lo-a, lo-o, lo-o, lo-o, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi-o, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, people thi, people thi, people thi, people thi, people thi, people thi. People thi. People's thi. People's thi. People thi. People thi. People are thi. People are thi. People are thi, people thi, people Yeah. I don't need to move into the marketing comedy club gigs. That's not my world. No.

But were I to do that, a Sunday lunchtime gig. I've got a bit of an issue with gigs, actually, Rob, before I get onto my... Oh, what's happening? So you know my normal... So my tour resumes on September 9th. other work I'm doing. Yeah, I have. I think work sounds like like you're doing something illegal. Yes Rob. When you put a call in it I would have been the one delivering it. Oh no, Limey is up for it you drop some round. Due to the other work. I actually listens to this. Does he?

Shout out to Limey. It's good for him actually because he can't see for three days after that's why he's a podcast. But I am... Yeah, I don't watch YouTube, it's all a bit green I find it's all the screen's green. Yeah, so because I'm doing other work, i.e. I.E. TV. Yeah, okay, FY, B.T.W. Yeah, except for I'm doing other work, Ie., tv. I. E. Fy. I, BGW. Yeah, exactly. You've got, I've done three gigs since 2019. I'm going to tell you that, Josh, that's not enough. No, it's not enough.

I've got one gig next Thursday. Yeah, and then the tour. And then the tour, which is a month later, and get this, the tour, well, well, tou, tour. And then I'm back on tour. Which is a month later and get this, the tour, well I was going to say not my doing, but it is my doing. I didn't realize what I was putting in. Yeah, what have you done? The tour is the day after a wedding in Oxfordshire. So I was like, I'm just get the car back from Oxfordshire. Also, so I'll be hammered. I've got. morning as well. So you're going to a wedding driving on that night or being driven home that night? So oh God that's a long old cab though drunk. Oh yeah it's fine I'll get my one hour sleep that I'm looking for. And then you're on Zobo half seven props. Yeah probably yeah and then in person these days so yeah oh you have to go in town. Yep yeah so you'll be getting picked up about 6 a.m. Yeah probably finished a wedding. the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. After. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. the th. I. I. I. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. the. that to go into town. Yep, yeah, so you'll be getting picked up about 6 a.m. Yeah, you've probably finished a wedding about midnight back home 2 a.m.

Pick up 6 am for Zoe Ball, on Zoe Ball for live for half an hour. Oh, it's the Friday one so you're there for the whole thing. Oh, Dodger there for two hours and you've got to listen to, you know, some of in the evening? Dunstable. No, Dunstable. That place in beginning with D. in Dudley. Dudley. But near Birmingham. Near Birmingham. Oh, so you've got to go home to East Under.

Then you've got to drive up to Birmingham. Yeah, with a new tour manager I've never met. That's all good. If you know them their their their their their their they they're know, you can't, to to to know, to to be polite or they'll hate you for six months if they don't if you don't talk the whole way and be nice you're gonna hate you for six months yeah turn up at the gig and then do an 80 minute show that I've not done once because all of my gigs have been 20 to 30 minutes and by all of my gigs I mean four they're Actually, I think this is the best PR you've ever done for your time. I'm tempted to get a minibus to Dudley from South East London. I'll get us all up there all the lads all live, I will go for it big time. Oh, this is gonna be great.

What I can suggest is I've been working, warm-up gigs to get, you know, remind remind yourself how can book it. I did like a 3.30 show on a Saturday and a Sunday, and you can just do it in the middle of the day and people come and it's that kind of five. The Paralympics. Are you suggesting people won't go and watch no I'm suggesting I'm working day and night for two weeks in the buildup to the tour. Oh yeah, you're fucked. I'm trying to see the positives mate, but tell you what, if you live streamed Dudley, I

think there's the most money you'll ever own, you won't have to do the other day. Like that you should get a camera crew following you from the wedding, like get them to meet you at midnight and just follow your day. Oh my God. th, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if th, if th, if thue, if th, if thue, if th. I, if thue, if thian, if you, if thi, if you're thi, if you're th. I's the the th. I'm th. I've that, if you're they, if you're they, I'm they, I'm they, I'm they, I've their you're their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their you, if you, if you, if you're they, if you're they. I they. I they. I's you're thi, if you're thi, if you're thi, if you're try try try try try try, I've try, I've try, I've try, I've try try try try try try the. I'll be all right mate. You're funny. Have you got a tour support? Yeah, but I don't know who's doing it for that one because I've got various people doing it. Oh right. I can tell you because they are going to have to do some heavy lifting. They'll gee up the crowd. Oh mate if you're going to the Dudley show, I'm you? Josh, what I'd say is the energy of a crowd, right? You, they will lift you up and you will, once you'll get that energy, you'll get that from the crowd, it will charge you up and when you're on stage, it just comes back to you.

You remember it all is muscle memory. You'll smash the gig but'll ever fill in your life. Of course. But on stage and for the audience, they'll love you. It's the tears of a clown. And do you think they're going to mind that there's some printed out sheets on a music stand? I died then behind the speaker. OK.

Are we giving away too much? No, that's fine. Well last time I did Zoe Ball, Liam Gallagher had the lyrics to Rock and Roll Star on a screen and if he's allowed that after twenty years. What's that? Yeah, yeah I mean that is weak isn't it? Yeah, let's just slam Liam Gallagher for no reason. Yeah, for no reason. Oh my god I've got something the next day as well. What you're doing the next? I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.......................................................... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. got something the next day as well, I've just checked. What are you doing the next day? I'm doing a rehearsal for this Paralympics Homecoming show that we're doing the channel 4. I'm going to work your body like this. You'll be in the Paralympics next time if you keep going at this right? So yeah, great news. Yeah, how's parenting been?

the acid reflux. Talk to me. So yeah, great news. He's really coming through the acid reflux. Thank you for all the recommendations to people who've emailed in and stuff. But last night he did 7.30 till midnight. Whoa. And then fed and then did till 6 a.m. No, why that is the dream in it. 1230 is such a

great time. He's turned his form around like oh you know when like a team just completely gets one win and then suddenly suddenly going like when Harry Kane scored against Germany yeah exactly oh yeah exactly it's what he did you just got his confidence back exactly Yeah, he's a different baby. Got his confidence back. Exactly, the confidence he's going in tonight's now. He's in charge of the reflux now. He's the acid. So he's doing that.

We had a bit of a hiccup. He's been doing that for a week, right? He's been doing that for a week. we decided it was 12 weeks on Tuesday. Yeah. We went out for dinner. Oh, first date, no? First date, no. How was it? Now, consider what I, that you ended up. Do you still like each other? Just about, we, I put a ban on talking about children. Okay, fair enough.

Yeah, because I saw you know. But not slacking off other children. No, no, no, no, their. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. their. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. You. that. that. that. You. You. that. that. that. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that and I said I refused to talk about the main character. Yeah, exactly. Strange example for me to use. Really weird, really weird. I was just kind of thing about a child. We weren't discussing home alone and I said I would only talk about the burglars. That's bad. You know a man of date nights Lou just just goes bloody el home was good wouldn't it? Remember that? Yeah I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was I was I was I was I was I was I was. I was like. I was like. I was like th. I was. I was. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We. We. We. We. We. We. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was just just just just. I was just just just just. I was just just like like like. I was just just. I was just just. I was just just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. wouldn't it? Remember that? Yeah, I thought once McCauley Culkin left the franchise didn't work, but anyway, I'm gonna have the pizza. Um, but she, um, so we went on the date night, yeah, and did she have to express for the baby or was there a formula? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's expressing. Did she expressing. Okay. So, did you have to go and release halfway through in the tour. No. And that, I tell you why, Roll. Did you? Did you?

Table's book? Well, I had to, you did send me an interesting article about a comedian. Oh, yeah. A bit of a industry gossip, which you can't read over three pisses. Three separate pisses in the evening. Every piece. I was out of sight. Let's read another another the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th of th of th of th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I read th. I read th. I read th. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over. I read over in the evening. As we were just a moment I was out of sight, let's read another four paragraphs of this. But I'll be honest with you, the moment I said I'm going to the toilet, I'd say Rose's phone was out of her bag before it even got out of the chair. You know what it's like. So that's what it's like these days. Anyway, we got there 830 Rob. Yeah. By 955, we were flagging so badly. We'd had two drinks each and I said the word, I wish I was in bed. 955. We'd been there an hour 25 minutes. Got in the cab and that cab journey was like, I might just go to sleep in the cab now.

It's gone 10. Genuinely, the worst most pathetic return to form. If it makes you feel better, this happened to us as well. We had our first start, we went for like this Turkish place, which was like five minute drive from us. And I was driving anyway because I didn't want to drink. So the babysit had come at half to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the baby to to the baby to to the baby to to the baby. I to to the baby. I to to sleep to sleep to sleep to sleep to sleep to to sleep to the baby. I the baby. I their their their. I their. I their. I their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. I'm. I'm. t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. driving anyway because I didn't want to drink. So the babysitter came at half seven and then we sort of like helping the babysit get them into bed a little bit. Just going we're going now to say hello so they once shocked who was downstairs.

We left at eight, we went there, we sat down, not not very busy. They served the food, I say within about seven minutes, right? We've the food, we've the food, we've the food, we've the food, we've the food, we've their their their their their their th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've that, we right? We've had it. We've eaten, we're at half eight, we're done. Right? Do you want to drink anything? No. Do you want ice cream? No. And then went, okay, should I go for a walk, right? We're in Bromley Eye Street. We got out onto the street. I went, what the fuck are we, there's no to, it's not like a holiday where there's like, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's like, there's like, there's like, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, th's like, th's like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to there's like, there's like, there's like, th walk, right? Nowhere to walk. So we got back at the car at 8.45. We've been out in the house 45 minutes. We've eaten. It's impossible. So Lou went, we went, should we just drive around the streets?

Because I went, because when we started going, we can't go back with the babysit is wild. It's not worth the babysit. In the end, Lou went, Lou, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, th, the th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the th, th, th, th, to to to to to to to that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the thi, the the the the the the the the the the thou.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, the that, that, that, the the babysit is wild. It's not been out long enough. In the end, Lou went, oh, just go home and just give her two hours money. We won't know, nine o'clock back indoors in our house. It's impossible, wrong? It's not, it's what happened to me. No, not what I mean, it's impossible. I mean, it's impossible for us to, it's impossible to start like two miles or whatever, don't they? It's too, we weren't enjoying it. All we wanted to do was go to sleep. Yeah, that's exactly how we felt on the way home. I was like, I cannot imagine what it,

I just cannot wait to be in bed. Well, on the way there, we were like, we should probably go to pub after this. Yeah, you know, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. We to. to. We th. probably go to a pub after this. I reckon, we've been given the, you know, the babysitter said, you can go as late as you want. I reckon just have the meal. You got the keys of the sea. Yeah, because also we were walking on the street and we're saying stuff like, so great to see London open again, isn't it? Let's take advantage of all this kind of crap. The hustle, the bustle, look at everyone. I love it, oh yeah, this is what life's about. It's not I've missed.

955, one pizza, and I'm absolutely done for. I don't know if I'm getting old, but if I have a peach from two pints, I've got to take out three days for the next week. I'm just like that massive belly tight. I'm pathetic. It's exhausting. Maybe it's just a new parent thing. So for anyone else has got first night out after baby stories like this, because I think everyone does it because you don't really want to go out, you just want to be, you want to recover. Yes. So on that night I made it. So I had, I had two days work, cancel drop. So that gave me two days free in August. And I thought I'm that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. that that that that that th. that that th. th. that th. that that th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. toda. today. tha. the. the. the. the. the. the. I th gave me two days free in August and I thought I'm not I'm not gonna be professional and put in a gig so what I did yeah was there is

an argument that the more gaps you have between shows the fresh you are and the best it is. Exactly I'm gonna be like I'm gonna be so hungry for those laughs Rob exactly you won't be burnt out no there's no way I'll be burnt out. There's no way I'll be bored of the show, is that? Four gigs in, what, two years? Yeah, four gigs in two years? I will be fresh as a daisy. You can't get much fresher than Josh Willacum, four gigs, two years. Tell you who I feel sorry for. Tell you who I feel sorry for. The people of Grimsby who are going to have a show. Well, while I've done it like 30 or 40 times, poor bastards, I'll be doing that off the top of my head, absolutely relax. They're not going to have the night of the people in Dudley, are they? No. Seeing someone that's, you know, seeing someone that's absolutely foreign in all all and is well prepared. They're not that good luck to that. I mean, if you want to return your Grimsby tickets because

you're worried it's going to be too slick, then I wouldn't blame you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's slicker than a buttered daughter on stage, right? You want to get down a Dudley's ticket. If you enjoy to enjoy to enjoy the to enjoy to the to to to the to to to the to to to the the to to the to to the the the the the ticket. I I ticket. I to ticket. I ticklipe. I to return to return to return their their ticklea to return to return to return to return to return to return to return to return to return to return to return to return to return to return their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to return to be tickle. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I tickets. I enjoy the scene behind the magician's curtain. If you enjoy seeing a man having a breakdown, then go to Dudley. If you want to see nuts and bolts and paper, he's your guy. You'll be fine, Josh, you're an excellent comedian and you know how to do it. You've done your apprenticeship, you know how to do comedy. I actually do think it's better to be fresh and excited about the gig rather than the other way of doing too much stuff. Totally.

Now, Ron, another exciting thing that happened, I'm organizing a birthday, not birthday because it was a birthday in October. We couldn't do that due to lockdown. So we're having a summer party. Oh, that's exciting. That's what we did. I think it's the right way. that's, I's that's that's the right way. Yeah, so I think we're, so I tell you what, put it on the nursery WhatsApp group. Oh yeah. That is a, that is a tense experience. Oh, okay, so what's your message? Talk to, talk, at a moment is it all just like, oh what, do they need for a school stuff or PE? Oh no, no, no, no, I was like, we're doing this. Yeah, so, um, you're reading the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message, the message, the message, the message, the message, the message, the message, the message, the message. the message. the message, the message, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what. So, what. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the message. the, what, what, what, what, what, what's, what? What, what, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what? the. the. the. the. the me the message? Read you the message. Well, first I texted one of the other dads. And I said, DM, private, private message?

Yeah, yeah, just a WhatsApp. Slid into his DMs. It wouldn't, yeah, I wanted to slide, I sent him a WhatsApp. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's just a text message. Yeah, it's just in the future. I slid into his DMs. Yeah, I said, do you think two weeks notice on this is a mis- do you think anyone, is this worth putting on the group or is this going to be a disaster? It's too short notice, is that what you're saying? I was worried. I didn't worry Josh. So then I put it on at 9.19 a time. their time. time. the thime time. time. time. time. time. time. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th They. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tttttha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the. the.? What, morning, afternoon? 14th morning, afternoon? They're all about 2 p.m. Rob. I've been to these events.

Yeah, I think you've got to chuck in after it. You've got to give them some day. You got to give them, give the people something, Josh. You can't say no details. What, are you weeks away? That's a lot of time. I haven't got any details to give out Rob. I can't make up some details. Fairly, yeah, that is why you say no, it's not like you're keeping them back. I'm not doing a, I'm not doing a slow release campaign. Like a Kanye West listening concert. You'll be you wandering around your garden with a red mask on and a big red

gap coat. Look, you're all allowed to come to my house and I'll play the details, but you can't record it and you can't take down any notes, okay? And then you can get away with the details. And my divorced wife will be there looking sad in the gnaws. Okay? Sorry, so you've said, so loose. And so you've said, so, sorry, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, to, you've, you've, so, you've, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, you've, to, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the. to, to, to, to, the. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the. to, the. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. to. the. details guy. One said I need details. You're too loose. This is so loose. Of course it's loose, Rob. It's a children's party. It's not bloody trooping of the colour, is it? What the stiffest example of a, what even is troopin of the colour? I'm not totally sure. Is something with horses and the royals? 18 minutes of total silence Rob. Oh, nothing. Nothing. I'd say that is the

longest 18 minutes of my life. Really? Followed by someone saying they can come and that person being the dad I'd already texted in DM. Oh first of all great he's got your back. Secondly yeah 80 minutes brov. you know this message is coming. Well, I text him the night before, to be fair. I texted him the night before. He might have been on a team's meeting or something. And then luckily he opened the floodgates, four positives, off the bat. Oh, well, not lateral flows, just one to come.

The one I'm a slouch you you over a 10-day isolation. Sorry, mate. I've been ping-ding. The ping-demic's a great excuse to get out of anything, isn't it? I love it, Rob. And that does mean that you then can't go anywhere for 10 days in case you bump into the people that you're giving the ping-deemic excuse to. Yeah, exactly. I'm sorry, so four people positives for the 14th Four people five people five then a string of negatives fair enough Fair enough it's short notice short notice Short notice everyone's away in August everyone's away in all my I'm falling apart

I've stopped exercising my eating's all over the place the summer kills you people need routine Josh People need routine. So anyway, I'm doing it is it's going ahead 14th of August as as things stand, Rob. Yep. No details. Tomorrow. Yeah. I'm doing, I'm going to get soft play. Yeah. Entertainer. Entertainer's key. Pina. The big three. So what time is you going for? 2 p.m. How long? How long? You need an end time. Open ended. It's in the park. It's in the park, Rob. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things stand stand stand stand stand stand stand stand stand stand, Rob. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. things. things. things. things. things. things. going for? 2 p.m. With how long? You need an end-time. Open-ended. It's in the park, Rob.

No. Oh, you couldn't get it in your garden, the soft play. Well, you're going to have soft play in the park. I think we can do it in the garden. You can't, what if other kids just to join in? Rob, this is deadly. There's a lot of stiff neck, but this isn't Southeast London. It's Victoria. My heart, mate. You're only fucking two conversations away from either drugs or getting beaten up. You nearly got beaten up for trying to work out in this park. That is true. You know what what happens is there'll be some an hard bloke with his three kids that will just join in on the soft blow. And none of you lot of you will say over over. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to to to to to th. th. to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. join in on the softplay. And none of you lot will say anything. Of course we will send an ulcer over to tell him off. Well, I tell you what I'd do.

I will probably just all make up, make us, I'll just walk away and then I'll have to return the soft play to the rental because Iended two-till but then you can just go on that I suppose open-ended fine yeah, if it yeah but yeah cool okay I would go personally go two to five and say we're gonna plan the soft play from the first hour entertain a free till four and then food 4 to 5 or something like that. Maybe Rob I've just got a looser neck than you mate. Look all I'm saying is sometimes you've got to engage the stiffy if you want control. If you're not engaging the stiff... That's how we got into this bloody mess, isn't it?

A lot of fun. Engage in the stiffy if you want control. Stick that on no context. Ha ha ha ha! Oh, that's exciting. Now what entertainer you're going for? Well, I don't know because I haven't got any details yet. I've got a couple of companies that I've been recommended. I know an Elsa.

Yeah, I think I might go Elsa. The only thing is with the Elsa, she does drive herself in just like a Ford dressed as Elsa. And my child was convinced she was going to come on an ice horse and she just saw a car and she just said Elsa why have you got a car? And yeah and then Elsa to a credit said I've parked the horse around the corner. Nice. How did that work? I just do think though I don't know if you park a horse. Hitch a horse? That did sort work, but then they were like older girls, it's not actually really Elsa, and I was like, look, you're five, life's fucking

hard, just make, just pretend to care and believe. You're five, you can't give up hope now, it is Elsa. Yeah, well I don't think any of these kids are clever enough to realize it's not Elsa. That's the positive. Yes, they're all three or four. the, but. the, it. the, th. th. the, th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. the, th. the, the, th. the, the, the, the, their, their, it's, it's their, it's their, it's not, their, it's not, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's not their, it's not their, it's not th. It's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not. It's not. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. enough to realize it's not else. That's the positive. Yes. They're all three or four. Not clever. Clever is the wrong word. Old, so old, old enough, yeah. Yeah, three or four, they'll be fine. But that sounds great that, that's open-ended in a park. I thrown, I thrown, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, old, old, old, old, old, old, tho, old, old, tho. tho. They's, tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. They're tha, tho. They're tha, tha, them off at two, come and get them at five. However, they're much older. You can't do that yet at that age.

How much alcohol were you getting, Rob? Oh no, there was no, there's no parents. No parents. So you drop them off, boom, we have them for three hours, you come at five, see, theyre and the grandparents a chance to chill out and pass the children onto an Elsa. We have got a good Elsa if you need an Elsa though. Oh well give me the number Rob, not on here. I don't want, I don't want the competition for people phoning her. Yeah, exactly. Someone will just to troll you, book her all day on the phone.

Um, have you got an email? Do you want to? Oh yes, I've got some really good Instagram ones. Okay, I'm gonna send you this. Okay. I'm gonna send you this, Josh, you're gonna absolutely love this. Um, we'll, I think we'll be able to put, yeah, we'll definitely be able to put this on the group. We haven't put photos on the group recently. Not this Rob.

Okay, I'm gonna send it to you just and then I'm gonna read it out. Here it is. Listening, this is, I'll keep it anonymous, listening to the episodes about umbilical calls, etc. We bought a house and I'm moving to a few bits have been left behind we weren't expecting. Not the end of the world, but to find the umbilical cord of the previous owner's drawer was a bit shocking to say the least. They also hadn't lived in the house for a few good months, but they had to come to empty the property so they surely knew they were leaving it there. Oh my God. Would you have contacted them? Because no. The photo is a completely empty draw with it in the door. So you would they the photo, the photo, the photo, the photo, the photo, the photo, th, th, th, th, the photo, th, th, th, th, th, their, th, their, th, their, th, their, their, their, their, tho, their, their, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Oh, they. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it in the door. So you would have, they clear that drawer out, so they've seen it, they've left it, it's not like they've left it in a pile of other things.

Oh my God. No, it's not like there's like some cellar tape and a sharpie. Do you know what I mean? There's, that is a clear draw. Exactly. So do you think that they one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, they they they they they they they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, they've they've they've they've they've like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's like, it. It's like, it, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not. It's not, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not, it's not. It's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not't want to throw it away so sort of didn't remember what it was like was someone else clearing it out but you just chuck that in the bin wouldn't you? It's awful. That is absolutely. And do you know what I'm saying if you'd got there and you weren't apparent if if I'd seen that six years ago yeah I wouldn't have realized what that was do you know I mean? I'll be've been like what it looks it looks like a little clip you use when you're putting Chris like a grab bag and Chris with the drawer. Someone's done something with a packet that's gone like some beef jerky on it.

Yeah it's attached to pit a beef jerky to a crocodile clip. That's what it looks like. Yeah, that's exactly what it looks like. Yeah, that's exactly. It's the the c. It's the c. It's the c. It's the c. It's the c. It's exactly. It's exactly. It's exactly. It's exactly. It's exactly. It's exactly. It's exactly. It's the c. It's the c. It's the c. It's the c. the c. the c. that's like. the c. that's like. that's. that's. that's. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that. the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the. it was. That is awful. Absolutely dreadful, but do go on our Instagram to have a look. Yeah, no, yeah, then judge. And just maybe if anyone's got any theories of why they left it or what the story is there. Yeah, what is, what's going on there? What are they, these sick bastards do? Is it like a kind of, you know, like, when you like, I'd like to spread some ashes in a garden or something. Are they like, we want the umbilical cord to remain in the house. Bury it, don't leave it in a fucking knife and fork drawer.

Disgusted. Right, let's do this email and then do business shoutouts, Joshua. Hi guys. Thanks for all the free day. I'm like, brav, it's free. Don't win, yeah. Oh, come on. Let us have adverts a bone here. Throw us a bone, will you, brother? I've got absolutely no work coming in the next month. On a recent episode, you talked about stories of leaving children behind accidentally, so I wanted to share a similar story of my own. Whilst on the way back from holiday a few years ago, my husband and I made theeeeeeeeeease to to share a similar story of my own. Whilst on the way back from holiday a few years ago, my husband and I made the decision

to stay overnight in a hotel at the airport before the early morning flight back the following day. The idea of a 3 a.m. wake up for a 7 a.m. flight back to a today was too much to bear. Cut to 1 a her for a walk to try and settle her down while I grab a little more sleep. Exhausted from a particularly bumpy week of time difference affected night feeds, I soon fall fast sleep and wait for my husband to return. I wake up in a haze feeling like I've slept for hours. With no son of my husband, assume I must have had an intense nap.

I check the time. It's 8.30 a.m. I jump up in, the flight was at 7. I jump up in a mad panic, no husband, no baby, flight missed. I'm delirious with worry and confusion. I call my husband's phone to get to the bottom of this disaster. On the side, I hear a vibration. It's his phone on the dresser. I. I. I. I tapapapapapapapapapapap. I. I th. I th. I thine the thine th. I the the thine thine the the thine thine thine thine the the th. I th. I the the the the th. I the thi. I've the the the the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I have th. I have the. I have the. I have time. I've time. I've time. I've time. I've time. I've time. I've time. I've time. I've time. I've time. I time. I th vibration. It's his phone on the dresser. I call reception for help, no sign of him. I run around the hotel and restaurant, frantically asking strangers at the buffet if they've seen my baby and husband. By now I'm in a state of utter panic. They're nowhere to be seen and every awful scenario is racing through my mind. After breaking down in tears at the situation, surrounded by hotel staff, down the corridor walks my husband, baby in arms, security guard by his side, looking both embarrassed and terrified. Turns out, in effort to get the baby to sleep, he'd accidentally gone through a series of fire doors through a corridor that ended up in him

getting stuck in the service hallway with no way to open the security doors at either end. This is amazing. So he's been there all night? After shouting for help for what he described as hours with no luck. Except to aggravate the baby, which he then silently sued back to sleep before the shout for help baby cries soon cycle started. He eventually fell asleep, exhausted, sat up against a wall with a baby in his arms. His subsequent cries for help in the morning were only heard when security began to check the hotel. So there's outdoubt one of the worst warnings of my life. We now never leave anywhere without a militant check that we both have our phone. And they missed the fly and he slept in a hallway.

Yeah, and she's had a full eight hours. She's had a great sleep. I mean, how fast do you think that man gave her the kid? Oh my God, just take that kid. What would your mental health be like, your mental state be like when you realized you were stuck in that hallway. Oh my God, that is horrific. What have the baby got hungry? Oh God, I bet you try to latch on in a sort of tide haze. Just try, there might be milk in there, it's all I've got. We've got to give it a go. I woke up in Glasgow once and my flight was at 8.30 and I woke up at 8.m. Yeah, and I looked at my a.m. And I looked to my phone and I was at the hotel like right opposite the airport.

Yeah. So I basically I was like, oh, so I just chucked everything in my bag and run out the hotel and got to the hotel like five minutes past eight, right? Obviously I've missed the flight and I went, oh my god, I don't know what I'm doing. Can I get on the night before, right? And I'm like, I'm like, I'll bog, you know, when you're sweating already with hangover, and I've got a bag, I've got all my coats on, and I'm running through the airport like, as fast as I possibly can, right? And it's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the've run and it's so far and I've had to go through security and all that, and the blood goes, yeah, all right, yeah, come on, and I'm like, why am I the

only one stressed? Right? And I'd get on the plane, right? And I said, and I sit down, right? And there's the sweat dripping off my nose, and you know when your throat so dry from being hung over I couldn't speak on what? What? Because I was having no moisture in my throat, none. And then I had a drink of water right and I was like, you can't make it that noise and I was like and I was like, and I was sitting there just like, and as I'm doing like that, right? And I have about eight people just wander on leisurely. And I'm like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the, I, I, I, I, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn, I couldn, I couldn, I couldn, I couldn, I couldn, I couldn, I couldn, I couldn, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, the, the, the, I, the, I, the, I, the, the, I, the, I couldn't, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't and I was like right and as I'm doing like that right as I'm doing that I have about eight people just wander on leisurely and I'm like what the fuck is this show what's going on what is this secret get on a plane late thing I don't know about and then I'm then I was calm down and everyone got on and I sat there right and then then they went sorry about delay, we're going to be about taking off about 10 minutes, about a 8, 4, 845, 50 minute delay just due to air traffic control.

I don't remember going off for fuck sake. I went, how enough could I possibly be annoyed? I've been awake 45 minutes and I'm on the plane. It was awful, and then just coupled with other people just sauntering on. Oh my God. But yeah, it's horrible, that feeling when you wake up and you miss a flight. It's the worst. Oh my God, that's genuinely. That's genuinely, genuinely can't imagine anything worse. That's got to be the worst traveling with a kid's story really, isn't it? Horne. Yeah, that's, that's, that's not the worst travelling with a kid story really, isn't it? That's got to tell me. Poor bloke.

You know it's bad he couldn't even bring himself to write the email. You know when a story is so bad it can't be your story to tell? You need a bit of separation. Right, small business shoutouts? Yeah, I've enjoyed this episode, Josh. Yeah, it's been a great episode, doesn't it? Right, here we go, what we got. D-da-da-da. Here we go, hi, Rob and Josh, I would love to nominate my little business for a mention.

I'm a balloon artist, my business is called Above and Beyond Balloons. This could be good for you, Josh, for your party. Yeah. Okay, I have 10 years experience and entertained with baloon twistingisting, parties and events throughout lockdown, made special twisted pieces for those lockdown celebrations. Please give me a little mention as it means a world as I was one of those people not eligible for government help.

Oh, that's a shame. Sorry about to hear that, mate. So I soldiered on, thanks, guys, you're the best. Thoroughly enjoyed every podcast from the beginning. You brought laughter to the bale. So th the the the the the the the the their their th th th th th th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I've th. th. I've thoes. I've thoes. I was th. tho. to to to tho. to tho. tho. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I to me. I to me. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I................................................................................................................ no name here, but Above Balloons is the name of the company. So at above balloons on Instagram, or you can go to W, W, W, W, W, W, W, W, W. dot, Above, Baloons, event.

No, I'm joking. He's gone, W.W.W.W.W.W.W. Above balloons.com. That's a very simple website. You know that flat pack geyser? He changed his Instagram account name. Yeah, he's done tap to build. Good on him. So above balloons, if you want any balloons for a parties, kids parties or events, go to above balloons. Oh, it's Sally, Sally Povey. There she is. Oh, they're great. I've just had a look look on Instagram. She's the balloons. the balloon. th. the balloon. the balloon. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. Oh, th. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the the the thea. tha. tha. tha. th. is. Oh, they're great. I've just had a look on Instagram. She's put a flower in a balloon, Josh. Oh, these are amazing, these are actually really good to be, are they London based? It shows our research, I don't even check before we give the shout out.

That's why such great guys, Josh. Yeah, they're great. Do they, where do they service? artist fully insured. I did not think insurance for a balloon would be an issue but it's covered. I'll have Shepi Kent. I reckon she does East London. Well let's see how I get on with Elsa but that's definitely on the list. They look brilliant. That's great. Well done Sally, keep soldiering on without the government help and your balloons are excellent. Oh, there's a great mini mouse one. These are really good to be good. Do you know what I'm just, I'm just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just th, I'm just th, I'm just th, I'm just th, th, th, I'm th, th, th, th, th, I'm thi, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I th. I th. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll just, rather than do a different one, I'm just going to say that Chestnut books have been back in touch with us, well, Instagram me and said, hi Josh, just wanted to send a message to thank you and Rob for giving my small business a shoutout on your podcast.

So many people have got in toux as a result and it's made such a difference. Oh brilliant. Thank you to to thuch thuuuuu. thu. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to me. I to me. I to me to me to me to me to me me to me to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be the to be to be to be too. I too. I too. I too. I too. I too. I too. I too. I too. I to to to to to, brilliant. Thank you to our listeners for getting in toubts. I'm so grateful. Yad, yad, yad, yada. Thank you, dude. It was just nice stuff and I thought no one wants us to. Don't know where that. Yeah, yeah. I do thank you though. We get a lot of messages. that people that have felt like like it tha tha tha. It tha. It tha. It tha. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. that. that. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Thank you. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It was. It was. It was. t. t. t. ta. ta. ta. toda. ta. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. It was. that. We can't respond to all of them but we do get them and it's it makes it really lovely to see those messages.

So thank you very much for getting in contact. We thank you. We'll be back on Friday. We'll be back on Friday. Yeah, I've just sent you these balloons. I thought it's not. I think Sally used to do balloon entertainment and she still does. But also these are like if you've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Thank you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Thank you very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. th. th. Thank th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. tha. th. She's brilliant. Anyway yeah so above above balloons check out and the chestnut books. There we go. See you on Friday Josh for another interview on Friday. Thank you very much. Cheers guys. Bye. Bye.