Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP29: "Mummy went out for c*ck..."

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

S04 EP29: "Mummy went out for c*ck..."More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Enjoy. Rate and Review. BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Sotomayor, thrown I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully not. And we'll also be hearing from the listeners with your tips, advice, and of course, Tales of Parenting Woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Have you got an intro, Josh?

Yeah, it's one thing I've fucking got. I think that might have been the intro. Ready? Hope that I was recorded, Michael, because that was a real peek behind the curtain of my life. Before we start this, I should tell this is today's the most stressed I've ever been, and I feel like it's a, you know, like they've been good fellas when he's getting chased by the police. Today is the most stressed you've ever been? Well, one of, not the stress, but like that my brain's about to explode because I've got so much on. Oh, welcome to my life. This is going to cancel the emails. We're the email. We we we we we we we we we we we we we we we're the email. We're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to to to toda. toda. toda. toda. today is the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Okay, right. Shall I start? Yeah. Hello, you're... I love the way I put on like the show face for that.

Hello? That's one the most stress times. One of the most stress I've ever been. Hello? Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell. Well, let's not pretend we're not keeping the onetime I'm doing it properly being so like like a fake. Here we go, let's just cut to it, here we go. Wilbur, can you say Rob Beckett?

And can you say Josh Whitticken? Josh Widdickon. Well done Wilbur. Wilber. I can't, Wilbur? Fucking Wilber! Wilbur! What a man! I can't! Wilbur! Wilber!

He's called Wilbur Walsh! Wilbur Walsh! Oh my God! He's either going to be an amazing novelist or in charge of some most horrific policies that the government's ever seen. Hello, Rob, Josh and Michael. I was trapped in the car on Bank Holiday Monday and stay

in a stationary traffic jam. So what better, oh God, what better way to pass the time than attempting to bash out your intro? Well, that's saved 20 seconds of your life, isn't it? This is Wilber, who will be two in July, doing a smashing job of your names, whilst I tow a dangerous line of keeping him from having a grade 9 meltdown in the traffic, the traffic, the traffic, the traffic, the traffic, the traffic, the traffic, the traffic, the the the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, and I, tapy, I'm, I'm, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, th... And, th. And, I, I, tape, th. And, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, and tape, and I'm I tow a dangerous line of keeping him from having a grade 9 meltdown in the traffic jam. Also try and ensure he doesn't fall asleep. For Rob's guessing game do you want to know where she's from? Berlin? No, Epsom. Keep like the salt. Like the salts. It's a German name I thought Wilbur, isn't it? Old Smith, that's the only Wilbur I can think of, really. Wilbur, it's not Wilbur Smith, it's a Will Smith.

It's Will Smith. You don't want to get it wrong. You know what that's fun. You know what I'm broke off. Sorry for saying, this reaction. Yeah that's fine. Looking Wilbur. There we go. Keep up the good work. Tuesdays and Fridays would be a lot more depressing without you. That's about only two days of the week on our shoulders there. Look I don't mind the name. Wilbur. Obviously the kid's posh so it's fine. You can't call a kid from a council estate Wilbur. I don't mind Wilbur because Will's quite like Bill Burr so I'd like Bill-in. the, well, well, well, well, well, well, I, well, I, I, well, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, I, I, I, that, that, that, I, that, that, that, that, the, th, th, th, the th, th, their, th, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, on, their, on their, on their, on their, their, on their, on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the to the to to to to to too, to, today's to, to, today's the, the, the, the, to, what they should have done is we want a GoPro helmet cam for all of the older generations in the family.

When you said, yeah, and we've called him Wilbur, and just to see people's eyes and faces, because if you're telling someone your kids call Wilbur, it's like, okay, right, oh yeah. It's not a sort of normal name, is it? Let me be honest, Rob. That's why you send out, that's why you do it in text form, isn't it? Because it allows people to reassess their views. I know there's some people that when I sent out the name of my son, they wouldn't have taken it well. I'm aware of that. But I'm giving them the opportunity. We both know what the and then readjust what they think and then send a polite response back. Can you imagine Chris Martin telling his great auntie that their kids can be called Apple? I know. How does she deal with it? Anyway

thanks Wilbur. Do you know what I often think about this? I was I was going on on a train in Devon and I was going past Tinmooth. He's so-so- So-I on- so- so- so-I, which, which, which, and Musa from. Yeah. And I thought, when he was going out with Kate Hudson, the daughter of Goldie Horn, did he? I wonder if he ever brought her back, he married her, didn't he? I was saying, did he ever bring her back to Tinmuth? What was that like? Do you know what like? If you're someone who's going, like, is Chris Martin? Did he take Gwinneth, if eth Paltrow back to Exeter or whatever if you're listening if you're listening yeah he was with Kate Hudson for four years and the yeah so if you are from Timmouth and have you've ever seen Goldy Horn daughters aka Kate Hudson in Timmouth let's no yeah did she go to the local? What did she do? Did she go to Spar? It would be quite good to have who's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Yeah. Who. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah........... Yeah................................................ the.... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Did she go to the local? What did she do? Did she go to SPAR? It would be quite good to have, who's the most famous person you've ever seen? There's a race show, isn't it, of someone really famous in a place you wouldn't expect.

So if you see Kim Kardashian, but you're in New York, it loses a bit of appeal where I'd say. Yeah, yeah, I'd say a lower level, you know, you. I saw Terry Nutkins on a flight to Guernsey and I don't know where that falls but what you don't know what we're looking for is the halfway house between that? Yes. King Codashon and Guernsey. Do you know what though? If you saw Terry Nutkins in New York I'd be impressed Rob I'd be quite excited.

Who's the most underwhelming person you've seen in the most exciting place? And who is the most exciting celeb you've seen in the most underwhelming place? Because I'd say, Knuckings in Guernsey, Kardashian New York, that's the ultimate of extremes. And then if you swapped them over, that's when it gets interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I've got to both of us today. Oh yeah, I'm hyped up. I can't, I don't want to talk about my life at the moment because I can't. Well, no, no, I'm going to, but I'm putting it off because I can't really accept what's going

to happen. I'm sort of playing, May for me, I'm going to have to deal with blind ignorance of how much is going on and how stressful it is. you if I said this is in the top three most stressful days I've had since my second child was born. Okay yeah well that is I think that's in a worst position that I'm in where minds are sort of anxiety about the month where it feels like you're right in the in the fire so do you want to tell us what's happening to make your day so stressful? Well I know it'll be fine when we get on holiday on Thursday. We're recording this on Tuesday. Yep. Do you know what's most galling about this? I was like, oh maybe I shouldn't say I'm on holiday because then people

will know we're not there so they can rob our house and I thought oh no we're recording this a week ahead and the holiday I'm looking forward to will already be over by the time this goes out. So the only only only only only only only only only only only only only only. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the their. I'm their. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I th. I th. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm. I'm the. the. I'm. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the time this goes out. So the only oasis in my kind of desert of stress. Yes. As you listen to this, it's happened and I'm back in stress. So don't burgl, or the only way to improve that was someone who has a... No, you can burglary but I'm going to be there and I've got a baseball bat which I bought on holiday. And he's fucking rock hard. By the time this goes out, because we were calling it a little bit earlier, you'll have been back from your holiday. You're going away for a week, aren't you?

Yeah, oh God, Rob. What's wrong? What's happening? It's so stressful. So why are you so stressed? So I am... It's not... It's just... We've got a lot to packing, Rob. It's just, it's just, we've just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to... to... to... to... to... to... to... to... to... to... to... to...a. to...a, to...a. to...a. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to packing has always, I'd say it's always been in her top

three things she finds most stressful, I think she admit that herself. Oh no, so you haven't got a lead guitarist on the packing really. Well it's me, but I'm not doing any of the packs. She does take control of the kids packing, but also she takes the responsibility of it and it weighs heavy on the shoulders. Right, okay. Rose is one of those people who, when she packs, she does think, if I don't pack a toothbrush, they might not have one in Greece. That kind of...

Ha ha ha ha ha. Say what about the Greeks? Never brush their teeth. Little fact. It's an element of, if we forget this thing, how are we going to source it in this major European country? Yeah, and you're going to be at the airport when you're there and also you're in a sort of nice, I know where you're going to a nice hotel. Yeah, you're not in the middle of nowhere in a villa.

But anyway, so Rose is very stressed about that. So if you suggested that you took control of packing of packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing packing the packing the packing the packing the packing the to packing the to packing the the to packing the the to packing to packing the to packing to pack to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their toea.a. toea. toeatook control of packing for the entire family... I can't Rob. Because I'm getting all my work done before I go. Yeah, okay, so forget if you didn't have all your work, right? Because that's the thing when you are self-employed, you have to get it all done and then it just builds up. Yeah, so would she allow that and be happy with that or would she still shit at it. I could do my packing. I can do my packing in 10 minutes because it's a piece of piss. I can get it. I tell you what. Toiletries. Three books that I'm not going to fucking read.

Stripy pizza is a stripede pizza rest top. That's it. A pair of jeans for the pool. The main issue, the main issue I've got Rob. Is I genuinely tho, should I tho, th a thin a thin a thin a thatatat, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I that, I'm thi, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm, I'm, I'm, I that, I th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. th. th. thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi. thi, I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. too'' c'a. to'a'a'a'a'a' c'a'a'a'a'c'c'eat, to' c'c Rob, is I genuinely thought, should I pack my laptop in case I fail a COVID test and I'm stuck in a room for seven days. So you have to do a COVID test? No, I don't think we do actually. I don't think you do for Greece anymore. We know we don't. In my head, I started to think that and within 10 minutes I was already thinking, I'm going to be in a hotel room on my own for 10 days. Well, no, but you know what? I is, because we've been away a couple of times. You've not already been away that much since the pandemic, have you really, as a family?

No, it's the first time. Yeah, it's the first time. You travel, it's just, you just get so stressed about all the things, but it will will, but it, but it will, but it will, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, it's, to, it's, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, t. the, t, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, so our son is intense at the moment. He loves to crawl at speed, upstairs, all of the day. Oh yeah. Did you know what they've got a lot of in Greece? Oh, no, they haven't had that? Hard stairs. Oh, for crying out.

There's no carpets in Greece. Tiled. No, the problem's not. Once we get to Greece, fine. But, yeah, well, he's... Yeah, what, is he gonna stop crawling? Yeah. Josh, could I tell you something? You just love it? Do you know what? He's only, he's only, the only thing that calms him is fetish,

so we're gonna be fine. Can I tell you something? When you get us there, there, there, there, Okay so your son's in turn. So you can't really pack because he's on the go non-stop. Oh but don't worry because he's just lost his morning nap. So... Lovely, lovely time. I feel great about my day. Carry on. So he's up from half six till midday, which is five and half hours. And then, and then you get your opportunity to do the packing.

So we have a lunchtime nap. Lunchtime nap. However, 12 to about half two. Ages, that's like a shift. Wait for it, wait for it. What are you winching for? Because I'll tell you I'm winching, Rob. Because it all kicked off on the nursery WhatsApp group that every kid, except my daughter, has seemingly got this awful bug that for days,

puts your temperature up to 40 degrees. Right. And so we can't send her in. Even though she's well, we're like, we can't risk sending her into the nursery. Not even a COVID, you don't want her to get really unwell for the holiday. Imagine if she got ill for the holiday. Oh God, yeah.

So suddenly there's two kids. There's two. There's two. Yeah. And from 6.30 a.m. For the whole of time. the time...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Until you all go to bed. Until you'll go to bed and then you're just fucked. You just fucked. And do you know what Rob last week I was writing the chapter for our book about having two children. Yeah. It starts with an apology to you Rob. Everything I said in the first year of this podcast. Yeah I had no right to complain. It's when the yet the second starts moving on their own. It's like Rob. You are a saint for

listening to me. I'm not going you how fucking dare you? Well I think you I think you own apology to the whole listership because they were thinking the same. Yeah and do you know I am sorry and there's apology to the whole listenership because they were thinking the same. Yeah, and do you know I am sorry and there's a sorry in the book I've apologized publicly in writing. It's just impossible. So is it's the first time he's properly started crawling is? He's really motoring about now, he's really fucking motoring about now, isn't he? He's really fucking motor-y. And he's boring as well. Because you're just going upstairs. You know, you're like,

I'll be getting to see their face. You don't. I'm hunched over him as he goes up some stairs, again and again, looking at his ass basically, just going up some stairs. Your back's gonna be dead. It's all that little hunch. I've got a bad shoulder. I've got to go 8 a at 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 th. th. that that that that th. that th. that th. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. tttttttttttttttttttte. te. te. te. te. te. th. th all that's a lot of shoulder. I've got a bad shoulder I've got to go 8 a.m Tomorrow yeah get that sorted it won't be sorted You know what your shoulder needs and then do you want your shoulder knees? I'm gonna tell you four hours on a plane holding a child Oh, don't don't there's a reason Rose's mom's coming Rob and it'sthe list about three weeks ago, right? Mom, I was just thinking, do you fancy coming away? You've not got away that much? You can sort of come away and hold the children.

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I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm their. I for to to It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for $0-dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber 1 for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats.

With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. I think that's a good idea. When you've got kids that age, just pay the extra and take some grandparents or anyone else that would hold your child. Could you pretend it's sort of a birthday as well? Can you sort of bundle it all in as one? Happy birthday? It's her birthday birthday. Oh, it's her birthday present. Oh, it's her birthday present. And Christmas. Yeah, we could actually.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it's just very stressful trying to get this packing done. And on top of that, do you know the worst thing to do, work-wise, of all the jobs when you're trying to sort your life out? because they're really easy so so Rose can hear laughing coming from upstairs which doesn't help the matter. So you when you're at work you're laughing and she's done such a two kids. Yeah yeah plus of all the jobs it's the one where you cannot do anything you know most jobs that we have yeah there's actually quite a lot of downtime where you can reply to a text. Yes. Or you can do a bit of admin to book the check-in on the flights and that kind of stuff.

Yeah, if you're all got a writing day. Yeah, I recorded a podcast earlier, Rob. And I got three separate missed calls that I needed to take during the podcast and I couldn't take any of them. One of them from the place we're staying that had me on hold for about half an hour and then cut me off by mistake and they've obviously found me back and I haven't picked up and I know I've got to go on hold again. What I'd say is if anyone rings you in this podcast answer and we'll record it. Yeah and listen I've fucking kill them to ring me. I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've fucking I've I've fucking I've I've I've fucking I've fucking I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th. What have you got sort out? The booking numbers this, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh hello this sir, it's the Greece Greek Hotel, how can I help? Yeah, what times breakfast? What, okay, but for next week? Well, I tell you what my issue is, yeah, your booking number that you've given me, when we put it in, it

doesn't show up so we can't book any of our meals or any of that stuff. That is stressful. That is stressful. That's a nightmare, isn't it? Yeah, that means you're not actually booked in. Do you, it has crossed my mind, Rob. It's caused my mind. I don't keep doing this because I think it's going difficult to get anything done. It's mental. So it's Tuesday, you're going on Thursday. So what, have you packed yet? I've more or less packed my stuff because I did it very quickly because all I need,

because I'm, you know, just clothes, shorts. Hello. So you pack clothes, cool. I'll put my charger in on the morning. I don't need to pack yet.. the the the the the air. the air. the air. the air. to the air. the air. to to to to to to to the air. to to to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be to be to be to be tooom. tooer. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomomorrow. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. It's. So. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's tape. It's t. It's t. It's touch. It's t. It's touche. It's tooooose. It's toooseck. It's tothat yet that would be more to pack yet say with toy trees how you get into the airport that's on the list book a car but I can't do that during the podcast I can't be sat here listening to you on the Addison Lee website so what also you got to book a car you got a tofefresh you've got a to to to the the to to to to to the to to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to the to too. to to to to to to to too. too. to took. to took. to to to took. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. to. to. to.? Got to renew my mortgage? Is that what I need to be doing this week? No, do that when you get back. No, no, I've got to fill in some forms about the renewing of my mortgage because mortgage rates are changing. And I don't know if you're aware of the financial situation of the world, but if I don't renew my mortgage in the next week it's going to cost it's going to cost it's going to cost it's going to cost it's going to cost it's going to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to cost to to to to their the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their new. I's going. I's going. I's going. I's going. I's going. I's going. I's going. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th the the the the the these kind of things. Have you got stuff for the kids? Have you got to the

toys for the kids, inflatables for the kids? Yeah we've bought, we've ordered the inflatables. Nice. Rose has ordered all this kind of stuff for the kids. I think we've got the got to do. Rose has bought a mattress for the iPad. to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to th. th. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. to do. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. t iPad. That's good, yeah. All those little things you've got to do. Rose has bought a mattress for the travel cop that they're providing because he doesn't trust that they'll do a good mattress. Because we never get a good mattress. Fair enough. Fair enough.

Any other things that we need to have thought of or done? Not really stacks for the plane? . . . ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Um, not really snacks for the plane. It's only a shortish flight, isn't it? Yeah, but we'll go to Pratt, won't we? We'll be fine. What are you going to give your kid a fucking bag of nuts?

What do you know what kind of kids eating stuff from Pratt on a plane? What do they want? What do they want? What do they want? What do you see on their tell you what he's right, I go over. One of those ones you see on Tomorrow's World that's like remote control that just goes around the floor just really nilly. Oh no, my kids are a bit of fussy with food though just so we always try and pack. Oh my daughter's very fussy, yeah. I would also suggest buying a load of snacks to put in a big suitcase so you've got them have in sort of grease and stuff is the exact kind of paws or whatever it is they have for them little roll-up frouched things or the mini-chedars.

Oh God, oh God, right. I'm sure you'll be fine. You've got to take the fucking milks. Oh the milk? Because he has those he has those milks. You know like the formula milks like but already formulas. So you have you're gonna take some powder? So he turns one out there. Oh, happy birthday? I think you're right, yeah, no. We got planned, chasing him around some stairs and there was a point like. You're right? What happened? No, I thought he's gonna sneeze.

No, do you know what? I was just thinking about, um, thinking, fuck, we are, we haven't, I was thinking, do we need to pack presents? And I was like, of course we fucking don't. He's no, you are, you are at your limit, you're that's gone. Yeah, I completely, are you feeling better from this? Oh, great. Yeah, it feels like playing football the football th football thuire at the moment. My last Rosie. Your red's completely gone. So yeah, that's where I'm at. Yes, okay.

But he's just that's a bit manic and it is a bit of stressful and taken on the toy. But ultimately everything you want you can get out there. When we were in Dubai we forgot to get pool toys, we sat around the pool, Amazon in Dubai just delivered to the hotel. We've got some like plastic inflatable, the plastic toys for the pool for eight quid, which is probably the most, there'll probably be some Greta Thumburg crew giving me absolute help for that. I've just said that I bought little plastic things from Amazon and got delivered and got delivered to to to to their their my hotel in the desert. You've got to do what you've got to do. But yeah, you'll be fine. On the subject of your holidays, Rob, I've got to say.

I know people that have been to that hotel, by the way, and they've said it's absolutely brilliant, and I think anything you need, if you ask a hotel Here's a question, something I did need to tell you, Rob. Yeah. Three separate people have told me that they absolutely loved it. You know you're worried that it would sound like you're promoting Disneyland. Yeah. And that you were getting kickbacks. Three separate people have told me they loved the Disneyland episodes, and they would consequently never go. So yeah it didn't seem too far the other way.

I'd someone actually email me a link of the vegan options in Disney. And yeah it didn't take long to read it but also as well Disney's so big there's oh there's this place here does that and I'm like that's a 20-minute bus journey away to a different hotel. That's that guy's oh here the vegan options in Bromley. I just get in the bus the bus the bus bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the bus the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. It's thus. It's thi's thi's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thirty thirty-a. thirty-mea. thirty-meaomley, I'll just get on the bus to Catford and you can have a schwama. Do you know what though, with that Disney, it's like you basically you either hate it or it's the best thing you've ever done in your life. It's like my, it's a bit like Marmite I think. It's like you either act, but my kids, that's a problem. You don't have a too good holiday. My kids have been crying every night, looking at photos of it, because they had so much fun. Oh my God, yeah. Actually like crying, and the jet lag does frown off.

They've been mental for me this week. I was down in bed, Lou was never lying because I had to gig that night. Downstairs, the noise, tame a wild horse, I would thought, oh yeah, that's probably what it was there. So do you think they've gone mad from Disney O.D. basically? They had so much fun and I think it does knock their sleep off a little bit, like getting back into it. So they don't, they find it hard to go to sleep because of the time in America and then when you wake up in the morning it's a bit early from, so they're a bit cranky, but they're back into it now. Do you want to, my daughter's sleep's gone weird, Rob, not gone weird, but she's

incorporated this. I don't even know where it's come from. She's got an eye mask. She's four. She will be right and prete. Get a flat, all right, I'm a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. And, their. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, that coffee? Yeah, yeah, I am. I have five a day. Don't affect me anymore. So someone get, I don't know where it's come from. Oh bless her, she looks so cute. Yeah, so she's got like a unicorn eye mask. So she, who gave it? Send her out like a fucking light. Does it work? Yeah. Well that's what we're struggling with at the moment. They're not going to bed very thir they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the they're they're th. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. tho. tho. tho. that's the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to to that's to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I don't the. I don't the. I don't the. I don't the. I don't to it's so light at night now as we head towards the what's it called when it in June when it's the brightest day the equinox? Is it the equinox? Summer Solstice. What's the fucking equinox? I think it might be the same thing. It's a channel four drama. Yeah it's it's a chaninox it's got Stephen Graham in it as a divorcee. What is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the equinox. It's the equinox. It's the equinox is is the equanx is is the equanx is is the equanx is is is is the equanoxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxe. It's the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's the the equinox. It's the equinox. It's got the equinox. It's got. It's got Stephen Graham in it as a divorcee. What is equinox? Temple of Wellbeing. Oh no, that is the name. It's a fit this club.

Which the earth equate to pass us through. Yeah, yeah, it's not the equinox. It's a summer solstice. It's a solstice. You're from Devon, you knowell me how stressed you are, Rob. Well, I'm not, well basically, I'm working every single day in May. Fucking out. Every single day, and that includes... Sorry I've been complaining about my holiday.

Well, basically, you know, and I don't want to complain too much. And I don't want to complain to the work, because it's good, I'm fortunate to be in a position, I'm fortunate, the position, the position, the position, the position, the position, the position, the position, the position, the position, the position, their, their, I'm fortunate, their, their, I'm fortunate, to to be in a position, I'm fortunate, I'm fortunate, I'm fortunate, I'm fortunate, to be in a position, to be in a position, to be in a position, to be in to be in to be in to be in, to be in, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to, I'm to, I'm to, to, to, to to to to be in, to be in, to be in to be in to be in a their, their, I'm doing too much and then I think there's going to be an awful day where I complained to her about the fact the phone stopped ringing and she won't know what to say. Well so basically I'm going down to this filming is based on location down next to I can't really say what it is but I can announce it in a few weeks time so I've got to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the to the to the the to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the week, sort of four or five nights of the week, back and forth sometimes staying over. So that's in Exeter, I live in Bromley. Can we say what it is, but can we say it's Peak Beckett? Oh, it's absolute Peek, but it's so on brand.

It's so on brand. It's just Tinmauth, Devon train Widdocom versions for me. Anyway, so it's a niche I'm really excited. vertical neck to be fucking seen is that? The necks are going to be swinging around by two male giraffes, duking it out for the mare. I don't know what a woman giraff is called a woman giraffe. I'm a female giraffe. Anyway, so I'm back and fall from the next month, I'm back and forth from Exeter, but the problem is I'm also in that time doing my radio to show from London on a Sunday. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I'm th. I th. I th. I the the the the the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I the. I the. I the. It the. It toe. It's toe. It's toe. It's toe. It's toe. It's toeateateateateateateat toeanananananananan't toeeeeeanananan't toeeeeeeeeananananan't toeekeded. I'm toeeked. I'm also at that time doing my radio to show from London on a Sunday.

I'm doing this podcast with you which is okay because I can do that in hotels. But I'm also on tour. So in these three weeks I'm down in Exeter like for about 10.m. 12 days of filming. On top of that I've got to get to Inverness. Oh, I've got to go from Exeter to Bristol.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm their. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. to. to. t. t. to. t. to. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. done it. I've got to go from Exeter to Bristol, to stay over in Bristol, to get the 7 a.m. flight to Inverness. Then I'm around all day in Inverness and I do the show in Inverness and I've got the only flight back on the Sunday to get me back for my radio show is 7 a.m. to Gatwick from Inverness. Oh, fuck the to be. I'm all getting on a train from Inverness, that's mental. You'll be asleep! Shut up, you mug.

It'd be asleep! Fuck off you, you've got shares in trains or something. You got any on a train. I'm going to train. Well, your three-dayer to Greece. Just jumping on the train. I'm jumping on that three week period got to get from Exeter up to Manchester for a gig then down to Swansea, Swansea to Exeter and then I've got four nights in South End and I've got after my Southend gig I've got from

South End that night to Exeter to film all day to come back and do South End again in the evening. So it's just it's really busy and in that time because I'm doing, I'm away basically for the whole sort of time, I'm doing my stand-up... Would it be fair to say that the extra thing has filled every gap of the month? Yeah, basically, that's exactly what it was. It was all well planned and also, you know, and I'm writing the book as well, so I'm doing that so it's quite busy. I'm fucking to pack for these three weeks, but what I need is I need my clothes for the television show. So you're away for three weeks now?

I'm back and forth for like a couple of hours here and there, like the Invernesses. I get back at Gatwick, go home for about four hours and then go and do Radio 2. So I need my stuff for Radio 2, I need to my to my to to to to to to to to to the to the to their thiaiaiaia for thia for thia thia thia for thia for thia for tho th. th. thoes for thoes for thoes for thoes for thoes for tho thoes and tho tho tho tho tho thoes for my thoes for my tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th and for th and for a th and for a th and for a th and for th and for th and for th and for th and for th and for th and for th and for th. So th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, thi and for thi and for thi and for thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooing around. I need my passport and a small case to get to Invenescent back. I also need my outfit. One of my gigs is a corporate gig, so I've got a full suit packed for me, like I'm going to a wedding. And then, so I've got my tour show to pack, got my suit to pack, so I think I'll be alright. No, they do, I've been doing that, so it's been really busy today and then nightmare, I dropped off my daughter at school in a school uniform and forgot it's Tuesday, it's PE day, she's done the wrong clothes. Oh man. So I had to rush back in with a peat. I actually thought it was Monday. I thought it was Monday but this is Bank Holiday Monday so it's Tuesday so I forgot the uniform and I tell you what though because we go in a bit earlier some of the late

parents is quite an interesting watch seeing the late parents because some people take their kids in like right we go in as soon as it opens the kids go in so it's all calm some parents oh my god I saw a woman in pajamas who's wearing pajamas and don't the drop. And don't get me wrong, I'll wear track suits for drop-off, short, some dirty clothes, don't have a shower, hairs everywhere, so I'm not being judgmental but pajamas. If my parents had dropped me in pajamas. Oh my god, it's pajamas. And you know what? The other day I turned up to do drop-off Rob and I thought I've got no time to day, I want to do some exercise, I'll run back to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their to run their their to their. to their. I'm to to to be to be to be to be to be to be their. I'm not to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their. So. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. their. their. I'm their. their. I'm their. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their ja. the. thearnoome. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. I'm not just just just just just a half. I was like, I'll put on my running stuff, but I was so frazzled. That I put on my converse. I'm like, so I got started running, I was like, this feels a bit heavy. And I looked down and I wasn't in my running shoes. And I'm absolutely slap monster.

Yeah, like, cloudest runner in the UK. It was incredible. Like, you know when there's like a runner who's doing it in bare feet. That's how it felt. But the pajamas though, I get that, gym stuff for the school drop, pajamas. And also, for some reason it's sort of acceptable for like a mom in pajamas, but if a dad, if a dad did it in pajamas, I think that's the police. Well, you sleep naked as well, Rob. First of furs, I don't, I that, I that, I think that's the police. Well I, first of all, I don't think anyone should wear pajamas. If you're an adult man that wears a full set of trouser and long-sleeve pajamas, you are basically a nons, and I'll have, and I don't care. And I'm not trying to normalize pajamas for then. I think actually, let's criminalize pajamas for women as well. What who do you think you are with pajamas? their their their their their their their their. W W. W. W. W. Who th. Who th. Who is, who's th. Who th. Who th. Who's th. Who's thi. Who's thi. Who's thi. Who's thioms. Who's thioms. Who's thi. Who is thiom-a?? Who's th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. I's, th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's theea'llllllllllllii. I's, thea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a. I's the. I's the. I think if you're an adult, man or female, just fucking grow up. How cold are you? Get a bigger blanket.

Do you know what? You can't wear pajamas to bed. And I just overheated. I just overheated. I just, why am I dressed for bed? I know! I'm currently doing this podcast in shorts and a tee shirt. Why would I put on trousers to get into bed? Well see that this is a thing I th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thr- I thr- I thr- I thr- I thr- I thr- I thr- I thr-I thr- I've thr- I'm just got the-I the-I the-I the-I the-I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. I the. I the. I'm theateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate. I'm toe. I'm to to to toe. Well see that this is the thing I thought that's quite interesting from you Josh because when a holiday is coming up I pack all my clothes like shorts and t-shirt clothes and then I wear my thicker clothes that I'm not gonna, I'm not using up a pair of shoots now. Well no I'm not gonna use it up a pshoo the shoan, I'm not using them up because I'll definitely just of the wash basket. And I'm wearing a t-shirt I won't take. I'm wearing a football shirt. And I'm not gonna wear a football shirt on holiday. I'm not that guy.

Oh come on, why not? I reckon you can a Plymoth one you get away of it. This is a lovely football show. Do you want to see it? Yeah, look at this. This is really gone off topic here now, we're in full football territory. Really gone off topic here, but it's holiday, you're on holiday, ain't you? Oh, look at that. That is beautiful. Look at that.

Michael, take a screen grab of that. We should, uh, that's definitely going to go on the Instagram as the most boring bit. But do you know what this bit? This is the most is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is the most is the most is this is the most is the most is the most is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is the most is the most is this podcast. Anyway let's get back on some topic. Right so what was it about? So sorry I've gone off Mike, it's a fucking carnage is. I've heard about Stephen Bartlett, the CEO geyser, the rich geyser. Yeah the angry CEO guys was at number one. I saw him on Tick-to talking about his podcast out 40 grand he spent on it. What? Who is he talking to? Who was he talking to? Who was he talking to the HMRC? Lying bastard? I know he was like saying about if you invest in yourself and you'll get payback and all that. I was like, okay that's fair enough. Not many people have got 40 grand.

I reckon our mics are between 50 and 100 quid each, aren't they? Yeah, exactly. I don't want to have any more listeners if we've spent 40 grand on it. I've got th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have tho that. I've to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. to have to have to have to have to have to have to have th. to have th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toe. the. the. to tell you Josh but I don't know if we want to save these for later I want to talk to you about cock and hair removal and Bush we I'll have cock please you'll have cock I'll give you some cock right I'll give you some cock and I'll save the other two for the other the other next episode so cock and so cock you know the the theatre show I didn't know that there. I didn't know the show I there's a the there the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theatre show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show I the theatre show show show show I the theatre show show show I the the the the the the the the the heard of this. Yes, she she Instagram about it. Yes, she went a story, she absolutely loved it. And what this is a side point but really annoyed me was like, oh my God, it's absolutely amazing. Geese are from Bridgeton, what's his name, Jonathan, Jonathan Bailey? Yeah, Jonathan Bailey, I think, I don't know. Jonathan Bailey, she was like, Google Google Cocke play, I don't know. I'm Google Google Google Google Google Google Google Google Google Google. I the Google. I don't, it it it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's their, it's amazing, it's amazing, it's amazing, it's amazing, it's the the their, it's amazing, it's their, it's their, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the their, it's their their their their their their their th. It's a tho. It's a thoge. It's a thoge. Oh yeah, lightly story, what did cockploat and

tractors, was it me? I was just saying it. I was just googling some tractors. So a big old busty woman! Jonathan Bailey and Taran Egerton. Yeah, Taran Egerton won in it for some reason I think he stopped his work. But anyway, she loves Jonathan Bailey, only four people in the entire play and Jonathan Bailey is on stage for the tho............ Oh.. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh................................................................................ the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. I. the. I. people in the entire play. And Jonathan Bailey is on stage for the whole one hour and 30 minute show. It's just unbelievable to be on stage for that long. And like everyone's looking at you and it's just all facial expressions and it's so funny. I was like, fucking four nights a week, I'll do that. Zero, zero praise. This bloke does it for two nights a week for three moms.

He's a fucking hero. Every night on me, Todd, I drive, sometimes I drive me to say. And you've written it yourself? I've written it myself. I'm doing it myself. I've driven them myself. I've driven the self. I've driven it, I'm just, I'm sorry.

Jesus, Christ, giving when two people love each other can properly go each other, but yeah. But you'll make up when you see each other again in June. Just, oh, don't joke! I'm moaning about my workload, poor Lou has got two kids till June. At least they're in school and there for allowing me to go do this. She is going to have had it with bedtime by the... You are... you are...

Just say no Rob. In June, you are not lying in once. No, exactly. I'm taking it hard. I'm going to get it hard in June. But yeah, so Lou is taking a real shift. Anyway, oh God, I'm panicking now about leaving Lou with the kids. Oh, got to work, you've got to work. Um, anyway, yeah, anyway, she wouldn't saw cock. She wouldn't saw cock play and when the girls on the way to school next morning was like,

oh, where did you go last night, mummy? She went, she went to the the the the the the the theater..... what to see and then Lou didn't know what to say because she was a play she said what's to play called and I said I just went it's called cock mommy and I went mommy went out for cock mommy went up to London to see cock they loved it well they don't really know what cock is they know what Willie is so they say Willie sometimes so I just said I did I played it down a bit, Mommy went up to see cock. So Mum and her mom and sister went out altogether to see cock. So if the teacher asked what did mummy do,

mummy went out for cock, which is true. And now I was live at this point right. Bright red, seeding, steam coming out of her ears, because then the kids will know that something's up. Yeah, of course. Of course. Of course. And yeah, so mommy went to see some cock last night. Yeah, but the jokes are new because she actually did go to Magic Mike instead. She just told you that she's she's having an affair with Jonathan Bailey.

But you know he's a good looking guy why not. And he's so what he can keep going for an hour. No message. Oh my word. No nudity in cock though, unfortunately. Is there no nudity? No nudity. Not like that. Daniel Radcliffe, one with the horse. Yeah, wasn't that called the Equinox? That was called Equinox. Oh my god.

Imagine if it was. Oh my god. Hand over the podcast award now mate. I imagine that I did a wild horse gag we're talking about Harry Potter's cock and it was equinox. Hercos, Harry Potter I just really, I didn't even write Harry Potter then. Harry Potter horse play. What was it? Equus. You think I can spell that mate. You know he's not called Harry Potter as well be. Equip. He might as well be. It could. Tell me about hair removal.

Hair removal, basically, very hair at the moment, and I used to sort of shave it off and stuff, but I thought, why don't I try this hair? On the body? I don't mind it on the chest, but I'd get it all on my back and then I'd have to trim it on my chest because my t-shirts get all puffy and like my chest there can get like an inch thick it's horrible. You can lose a medallion in there back in the day. And then I'll get back hair and stuff like that so Lou normally hates shaving off. I think you'd look alright with a medallion. I think you could pull it off. Maybe I might get one. I've asked about I've told Louvre to get a sovereign ring and she said that I I I I I I I I I I I told me me me I I I I I I I I told me I I I I I I told me I I told me I told I told I'll told I'll told I'll told I'll told I'll told I'll told I'll told I'll told I'll told me I'll told I'll told I'll told I'll to lose told I'll to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose the the the the the their their their their. their. I their. I their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll told their told their their their their their their their their their their their told told told told me told told told told me told to she'd leave me if I've got a sovereign ring or my ear pierced. She also said as well that when I was on holiday she didn't get me one little cake she got me

four little cakes stacked on top of each other so it was still pathetic and sad but it wasn't one little cake. She listened. Yeah so I asked her to try this hair removal cream rather than shaving it so you put the hair removal cream on what you want to get rid of, and after five to ten minutes, you basically just like, it's like a plastic thing they give it, almost like a credit card that you just sort of wipe it off, it all just comes after you jump in the shower and wash it off. Okay? So it's basically just like, I think you catch, catch on fire if it's on for their, it on longer than 10 minutes right so it's basically just like you I think you catch catch on fire if it's on for more more than 10 minutes yeah yeah doing it she's done she's put the back on and while she started removing it off the back I'll thought oh I'll put some

on the front and get it at front so at the moment I'm completely covered in her hair removal cream because I'm hairy all over the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tttttttttttttttea. I I I I I I I ttttttttttttttttry I I I I the the the the down the back to the base of the back arm top of the arms all over the gaff right I'm covered in it right anyway so she starts doing it's just hit like seven minutes because five wasn't long enough and a door doorbell goes is that Amazon or delivery no no it's not it's the weekly shop oh no o' the family of four weekly shop for a family for a week they've the the the the the the the the the th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they've they've they've they've they've they've they've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeat the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. It's the weekly shop. Oh no. Online order, family of four, weekly shop for a family of four for a week, when they've been away for two weeks. Oh my God. So she, so she goes and does that. I'm just left there. On fire. So then I sprinted upstairs and my towards. I swear the delivery guy saw my ass flying up the stairs. And then I just jumped... I need some cream on it.

That's all the airy ass. He's missed a bit, you've a dirty, Sasquot. Oh, leave it out of my cover, I can almost see the equinox. And anyway, so I just started like to wash cut. I think she started like eating me. Oh my word. Oh, it's horrible. I was like, you can't pair removal cream and so on when there's a weekly shop coming. I think she did it on purpose.

It's horrible. What a week, oh and the other thing, Bush we, my kids now have got a thing called Bushweed, where I didn't realize what they're doing, they occasionally say bushwheat and then I'd hear giggling, they keep running the garden, pissing in the garden. That's not allowed is it? No, that is not allowed. So we caught them the other day but now they know they're not allowed to do it. What's the punishment? I think the punishment will be if we catch them again. I'll make them go You might as well way you down there. Off you go. It's ready. Out you get.

Gills, come on. I've got a bag. Anyway, but yeah, that's what I've been up to, a busy couple of weeks. What a time, Rob? What? Do you want to do a got some messages Rob? Oh yeah. I've got, do you know what I've got? What? I've got some questions people have posed for Lou and Rose for the book. Brilliant. Okay, that's good. Do you want to hear a few of them? Yeah, a couple of them? Go for it. I this one about a couple of couple about Disney. Just listen to your stories of Disney and how you walk 23,000 steps in a day.

I was there at the same time. When we got back, I walked out, I walked 105 miles over two weeks. Oh my God. So I did that and I still put on weight. What was I eating? Rob you've said what you're eating chicken strips or whatever they were tenders never strips chicken tenders and old people want to know where my backpacks from a lot of people ask this it's North face and it's called the the borealis B O R E a L I S and it's a hundred quid on North face but I got it

for a 50 quid I got the green one that's reduced it was 50 quid it was 50 quid it's thi it's, but if you shop around from different websites, you can get it for about 50 and 60. And I do think it's worth it, because I've spent 30 quid in TKmax. Just to have part with the wedgeshees that you'll get at this far. Yeah, if you don't mind you sort of school lunch money to their to you, and never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never the the the the thof th to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to their to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the thi. their thi. thi. thi. to to to to thi. to A boom of parenting story. I have a boom of parenting story for you. When me and my sister were younger, we did a lot of pinching and biting each other in an effort to stop us, our dad bit us both so hard.

He drew blood! Oh my God. It's one of his proudest stories as we never bit each other again. That's not on. I would like to add a disclaimer, here we go. The Hills a great dad. And this was a one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one. the one. the one. the one. the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to............................................................................................, here we go, that he was a great dad. And this was a one-time tactic. Shut up. Once a bleeder, always a bleeder.

Dirty biting dad. It was a tactic that clearly worked. Neither of us remember nor are scarred emotionally or physically from Hannah. Yeah, sure of Hannah. Just your dad bit you and drew blood. I was actually fine th tho tho tho tho tho tho thine tho thine tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. thii. thi. the. thea. thea. togea. togea. that's that's that's that's togea. that's that's that's that's that's that let the guys in the therapy room sort you out that it was actually fine though because you know I never did it again imagine tasting your own child's blood and then making that one of your go-to anecdotes oh my god right what questions have you got now then I'll try and find a small business shout okay? Okay, from Jonathan and Claire, flay petty. Hi, a question for both Lou and Rose.

When you met Josh, stroke Rob, did you think they would become the parents they are today? Oh God. How they didn't think about that, Rob. I don't know. that. Lo theyme up. Do you think they would be different they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to be different. Do they th. Do th. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. th. the. Loe. Loe. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Lo, Lou. Lo, Lou. Lo, Lou. Lo, Lou. Lo, Lou. Lo, th. Lo, th. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo, th. Lo. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the. to to to to to to the. to the. to think they would be different in any way? For my seed. Less stroke more hands on or more relaxed, etc. More relax. That's pushing it to say, did you think they'd be more relaxed? They've taken from the podcast there that we're not relaxed. And I think we're pretty chilled out guys as we've proven in the last 48 minutes. Well, yeah, I don't know. I'm a bit worried about Lou answering these questions. Yeah, everyone I read, I'm like, oh my God. What other ones are there?

Dear Rosen-Lew, I would love to know, especially in the early baby days, is having a famous touring husband worth it? Lou will say, well, when I get one, I'll let you know. Do you get enough positives in terms of notoriety, etc? Versing not having any help at night time? Oh fuck off mate, who's this idiot? No, shut up, don't ask that. Just in case I decide to become famous as a change of career.

Oh my god, put an absolute carving knife for our relationship. Fuck it out. I'm not sure the answer to that about my own life. Never mind out my relationship Jesus George Baker fuck off Baker question for Rob's parents no no that's not Rob that's not George Baker that was someone else this is from George Baker yeah question for Rob's parents yeah can we hear more about Rob's hellish sleeping patterns as a kid okay can his mom send some survival tips and horror stories? George, aged 37 and 3 quarters. 27 3 quarters, okay cool.

I don't know, I really don't like that one working out. Is it worth being married to me or not? I mean, what a question? No. Is it actually worth being married? It's actually worth being married. Don't worry, there's loads more coming in. I've been nice thing to to think about and I to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be and I try to go to sleep tonight when I'm away for the month. And obviously this is a classic

from Stuart Richardson, this has to go on the list. I'm just gonna say, Josh, I might give that question to a little after June. Don't give it to get any banging down after March. Hi parenting hell book seems an obvious one and potentially the last question of Lou and Rose's respective chapters. But is there anything your partner does parenting wise that annoys you but you're yet to bring up in conversation as you know it may cause an argument. The classic Rob. I think that's an actual book deal in itself for her.

I don't think she could do that in one chapter. Oh God, I'm regretting it. Okay. Keep sending them in to Parenting Hell Book at Bonnier B-N-N-I-E-R books. to code. It's in the podcast description if you want to send them in. The book is available available is availableorder now, Rob, because I'm doing the big sale. Also, Rob, we're on tour. We should mention that. In next spring. Come along to that. Imagine getting the book and a ticket for Christmas. That would be my dream Christmas. Oh yeah. I'm doing Australia and New Zealand, my stand-up show, Wallop. Oh yeah. November 22, this year. the. No, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. I th. th. th. the the the the the the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I. I. Yes. Yes. I. Yes. Yes. I. I. I. Yes. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm doing put that question on ice the game

actually let's forget that plug but yeah if you're in Australia or New Zealand do come and see Rob yeah in November and start of December yeah Perf Brisbane Camber Melbourne Crescent realise Chirved Wellington Auckland Sydney Adelaide. I think that's everything. You're the only bloody Steve Wright in it. He's doing the full date. I think that's all of it.

Anyway, yes, I'm doing that, but you can find information on the internet about that. Right. All right. Small bids a shout out. we'll let you get back to packing for your holiday Josh. Here we go. Those questions are quite, they're quite thrilling actually. No, that's mental. That one is mental, that one. Do you know what though, every time I read one,

my heart is in my mouth? No, that question's not making it into the fucking book. I tell you that for a free right. Would you rather he did something completely different with his entire life? Oh my nice. Do you know what it's difficult? I know the answer. Right, small business a shout-outs, here we go. There's only so many times you can say the phrase, the thing is, you'd actually see less of me if I did a 9-5. Well, you know what? It's like feast and famine, isn't it really? You sort of what? I'm like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. thi. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the th, th, is, is, is, is, is, th, their, is, their, their, their, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, their. A, their. A, their. A, their. A, their. A, the the the the the the their, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, small, the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the the the the the their, small, meals a day. Do you know the worst thing about feast and family, Ron, is neither of those words are considered particularly positive.

No, both negative, aren't they? Normally the rule with eating is you want a normal amount of food every day. Little but often. Little but often. You're not greed, feast and then famine. I've just realized these questions, we're on edge as it is. Basically, every time we come to these questions on the podcast, we're going to have a breakdown. Yeah, okay. I'm not going to be the only person who's unable to read their own book. Right, here we go. Small business shout-out. I'm not the person to say.

Hello. I love the podcast. And I've been listening to it as long as to to to to the to to the to to to the to to to the to to to the to to to the to to to the the the to to to the to their to to to to to to to have their to have their the podcast and I've been listening to it as long as I can remember. My wife and I, two and a half years, have two beautiful children, a nutty three-year-old girl, Mia, my princess and a beautiful newborn boy, Jack. I fit bespoke, handmade, storage for under the stairs. I've worked super hard for the last two years since moving to the UK from Guernsey. It's back! We're now based in South Somerset and I and I and I and I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the to torkycala their their torkymeaqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq. I's the last two years since moving to the UK from Guernsey. It's back! We're now based in South Somerset and I cover from Torquay to Paul and up to the surrounding areas of Yovil. Rob, good news. Yeah. You can get a under stairs storage unit fitted in your hotel in Exeter this month. Do you know what we need to sort our under stairs cupboard out? It's an absolute disgrace. We've not opened it, right? It's so full of junk, we've not opened it in six months.

And I was like, we've got to do, it needs to be usable. So is this someone who fits furniture under the stairs? Yeah, my business is called power. W. W.W.W.W.W.W. as in, I've got the power. I've the power. I've the power. I've. I've. I've the power. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I've got. I've got. I've got. I've got. the power. I've. I've. I've got. the power. the power. the power. the power. I've. the power. the power. the power. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It th. It th. It th. It th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It needs. It needs. It needs. It needs. It needs. As in white power? I'm not agreeing with it but I'm just saying that's how you spell it. Just giving a context for the word. Just give it a bit of a conteam and love making a difference to busy households. Keep up the good work lads. That is very, I mean I would get him up here if you weren't too far away. I need that. I can't bother. Some people turn it into a little dog like if you've got a the the the the the the the the their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, the, the, the, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. te. te. te. te. the. te. the. te. te. the. te. te. the. that, I need that, but I can't bother to sort it out. Some people turn it into a little dog, like if you've got a dog, that's where your dog lives. Under the stairs? Yeah, you can make a little dog, like dog bed under there.

And all his toys and all his bed and cushions go under their toys. dog. I've got one here. Hi guys, I don't have kids but enjoy laughing at you two every week. I was hoping you could give a small business shout out to my neighbor, a single mom who has her own business making custom tie dye clothing and home decor. Her Instagram is V's underscore T's X underscore Tydi based in Scotland. Thanks Kaz. I'll spell that out VEES underscore TE-S-U-S-T-E-S X, underscore, T-I-E-D-Y-E. So she's called V's Tidey T's, but is V's Tidey's Tidey. You might want to sharpen that up.

It's a classic small business shoutout where we really struggle with the actual brand. Basically we'll give you a shout out, tha, tha, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, tog, tog, tog, toge, togu, togu, togu, ty, ty, ty, ty, ty, ty, ty, ty, tythere we will give you a shout out, but then we'll also completely mug you off. That's basically what we do, but they look good to me first. That's the cost. They good, do you know what about tie dye is like, is something people think they can do? But when you see it done properly, it's ten times better. Oh yeah. I think the school all wear the same ones and the parents have matching. Do not need more discussion of holiday outfits in my life this week.

Rose is quite into a nice matching clothes as well, then she. Yeah, my daughter isn't. My daughter wore the same pajama t-shirt to dinner every night because it wasn't in her words scratchy it. It. It's a challenge. And then she fed off plain pasta from my pocket. Because we were on holiday. Have a lovely holiday Josh. Thank you. Oh well I'm already back. Okay was that's not to confuse people with this sort of time traveling equinox shit. Still don't know where equinox is. See you on Friday Rob when we have a guest. But until then, good luck with your May. Yes, thank you very much. I'm sure it'll be absolutely fine.

No problems at all, this end. See you later. Bye.