Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP3: "What is time?..."

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

S04 EP3: "What is time?..."More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Thanks to everyone who bought tickets for the live shows in January - both the Hackney date and the warm up shows sold out in minutes! If you want to be first in line for any potential future live dates, merchandise, and any additional show info then sign up to the mailing list here;parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com Small business shout-outs:1. Fade Out Night Light 2. Pastoitalianhomemade (Instagram) 3. bromleydogdays.co.ukEnjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Nisprosso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nisproso.C.A. to learn more or a Nesproso boutique near you. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with Nina, can you say Rob Beckett? And can you say Josh Whedicum? Josh Indicum. Good girl. Okay. There we go. Oh, that's a juicy guess where they're from, isn't it? Right, you haven't got a location, so, uh, oh right. We haven't got an answer. That's a night.

Well, I'll guess though. I don't need an answer to keep guessing, right? That's the first side of madness, isn't it? I'll tell you whether I'm right. Yeah, tell me whether you think I'm right, dude. Do you want the email to give you some help? Yeah, give me some email. Here's Nina, delighted with herself for saying your name. She'll be two in April, started listening to a podcast sitting up during the night feeding her as a little baby. My husband was none too pleased at being woken up by my laughter. Neen decided she wants to all the cheering that needs to go on as she carries around her potty peepoo for all of us so we can give her a big applause. Keep up the good work, all the best Laura and Nina Ryan. Oh lovely, that's nice. She sounded a bit American. Yeah it did sound a bit American. You know what I felt? It felt a bit like, you know like when a Scandinavian person

learns English through friends. Yes. So there was this girl that I knew from Sweden that she sounded American because she just watched Friends all the time with subtitles and that's how she learned English. Yeah, do you think it's Nina from the Cardigans? Is that what you're saying? Who's Nina from the Cardigans? Do you remember the cardigans? You must remember the cardigans? They're banned. They're they were huge. Were they? Wow, in Europe. They were they plus-sized cardigans. Yeah, the cardigans, their big hits were huge, nine buttons. Yeah, look, picture. Nina from the cardigans. Oh, there's Nina. She looks very Scandinavian, yeah. I love Scandinavians. You all remember the big hits of the cardigans. Do you know Scandinavians. Do you know Scandanagin' they're all the thia. You all thiaia. You all thia. You all thia. You all thia. You all thia thia thia thia thian hits thia thian hits thiiii-a thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-a they're they're they're they're they're thi- they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their big big their their big big big big the big the big thi hits thi hits thi hits thi hits thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thi thi th don't they? Yeah, they're the best. I met Sigrid and she was so friendly.

Do you know Sigrid? No, no. She was on the one show. From Sigrid and Roy? No. She was lovely. The Tigers were a bit testy. Anyway, I don't know where she's, I think she's from Scandinavian. Where's the? Who cares? Norway! Norwegian.

Anyway, right, well that's enough of guessing where someone's from without an answer, about a new regular feature. Yeah. How are you, Josh? You sound terrible. I've got a funny story about the podcast. Okay. But apart from that, I've been working. And so, I'm so tired. What you've been working on? Hypothetical, which is double, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Where, thi. Where, thi. Where, thi. Where, thi. Where thi. thi. Where thi. thi. toooooi. tooi. toooi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Where, thi. What you've been working on? Hypothetical which is double records. That means you record

two episodes in one day. Right, okay. It's posted by me and James Acaster. So my day and he's in Pinewood, Rob. Do you know how fucking? You don't do that? Yeah, that's about an hour and a half drive from your house? Yeah, or two hours? Yeah, it's a long way. Yeah, it's a long way. Yeah, it's a long, it's a half. th. th. th. th. It's a th. Yeah. It's a th. It's a th. Yeah. Yeah. It's a th. It's a th. Yeah. It's a th. It's a th. Yeah. Yeah. It's a th. Yeah. Yeah. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. Yeah. It's a th. It's a th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. So that's four hours that you're looking at I'd say three and a half hours just your commute. How long is each were called? Three hours. Okay cool. So you're looking at a nine hour day. So my day starts car at nine. Yeah. Very nice, very nice driver. But he talks. He's a talker. You talked. You can't have three hours of driver chat. I mean how much can you talk about mandates and Brexit. You've co the the talk. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. So. So. So. three. So. three. three. So. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. three. to. three. three. three. three. three. three. th. I mean, how much can you talk about mandates and Brexit? You've covered it all on the trip there. Exactly. I don't have enough opinions on Arsenal, Rob. And also I don't agree with his, even though he supports Arsenal. What's his opinion on Arsenal?

His opinion is they should just play lots of young English players, which is... I mean, I reckon I'm going to guess that. Yeah, I know. And they shouldn't have moved into the Emirates. I don't know why they changed a badge. Why can't it be 1976 when I'm 25 and I can get an erection still? Why do the things need to change?

All this new, bloody things. It's terrible. I'm fat, I'm old, I'm sad. Let's go backwards. Come on. He's a very nice man, but... I know I'm only joking, I'm sure he's great. I took a phone call and I was relieved the other day. Anyway... We'll just say to him, sorry, mate, I'm tired. This will be awkward if he listens to the podcast. He doesn't listen to the podcast. I've he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. I th. I th. I th. I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho tho tho tho tho th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin thin thin thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. He's thin. He's thin. He's thin tho' tho' thooooooo' things theeeeeee. He's thoooooooo' tho' tho' the. He's the broadcast. I've just said he can't get an erection, and I don't know him. Anyway, so you drive up there. Two hour rehearsal to block it through. Yeah, and then three hour record, hour off, another three hour record. Last night, I was too tired to even have a drink before getting back in my car. Do you know, my legs felt empty, bro. down in the street could barely drink till 1 a.m. I didn't have a drink. I didn't have a drink.

He didn't drink alcohol at work. How did he pass my lips? He didn't pass his lips? He didn't pass his lips? I did. I got home at 11, because I hadn't had a drink, I was too buzzy. So I just sat up and had to eat toast three loaves, nearly tired. Yeah, yeah. She'll get it down, just get it down. I was going to 24 A Tesco to get some

bread. No, I, um, so I ate some toast, then went to sleep and then our son woke up a half-five this morning. You're not work, it's not, you know, you're not working down the mines, however doing that all week haven't you? A few up yet. No, I did it Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Then I had to work on Tuesday on the scripts and on Thursday I had to work on a different thing but also I had a school, another school tour Rob. Oh yes, so you've done some parenting, you're not just lazy in around letting Rose do everything. Well no, because we did the school tour tour without children. Oh right, so you've not seen your children all week? No. It's been, it's been, I'll be honest with you. This morning I got up really early because I just wanted to see my children even though I was tired. Oh, that's nice. But I think we're going

to go to Clapton Community FC this afternoon to watch her first football match. That'll be fun. Yeah, that be fun. Yeah, that's th. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tho' th. th. tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t so that's exciting. Because it's 830 a.m. at the moment. It is. Do you want an amazing story about parenting hell, Rob? Yeah, go on. So, one of the friends from nursery I bumped into him. And he's just been on holiday in Jamaica. Ooh. And yeah, he was in the sea in Jamaica, Rob. The person near him in the moment thinking this isn't a brilliant start

to an anecdote, but hold on. No, it depends on the shorts, doesn't it? Yeah, and so they strike up a conversation. Oh no, that is awkward. Based on the same shorts. Oh no, that is a terrible owner. The person is from a Tennessee, I think it was in America, and they go, oh you're English, yeah and he goes yeah and they go are we're big fans of English culture. Do you know Josh Writic and Rob Beckett?

No way. Yeah and they were like oh we're we listened to his podcast and it's amazing. And he's like, oh right well um bizarrely I do I actually do know Josh Ritican personally because he'd go to that nursery. No what they must think England's so small. Yeah they go the one with the hot French guy and he's like yeah that nursery they're like we've been googling Josh would come work out where his daughter goes to nursery to try and find this whole French guy and then this will blow your eye and they go yeah do you know who it was that left the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog that the dog that the dog that the dog that the dog that the dog that that the dog that the dog that the dog the dog that the dog that the dog the dog that the dog that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I they're they're they're to go. I they're to go. I to go. I they're they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I I they're. I I they're. they're. they're. I I I I I I to go. to go. I I I I to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. thi. I'm. I they're they're they're they and they go, Do you know who it was that left the dog at his party? And the guy goes, that was me! Oh my god, this is immense. They're just in the sea in Jamaica. Wow.

So, if you're listening, do get in toucest. In the sea in Jamaica. Wow. So, if you're listening, do get in toucest because he's shown me. These people have got a, they've got an Airbnb in Jamaica, Robin. It's fucking incredible. And as fans of the podcast, if they want us to like go to Jamaica, our families and like enjoy their live show, just for them from their Airbnb in Jamaica, so be it. Yeah. So if they want to get in touch, the Americans who are a fan of the podcast.

We'll wear the same shorts. We'll wear the same shorts. We'll put the shorts on for you. Me, you and Michael go in the same shorts and do a live episode, stood in the sea, in the spot where that connection was made. Exactly. That is insane. Isn't that an incredible story? How is your dog? He's alright actually. Yeah, he's fine. He's quite boring really.

It's quite good. He don't do much. I quite enjoy that. I'm really not, you know, I like having him, but I'm not really bothered. Do you think? It's not really become a part of, it's no, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's thi, it's thi, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn, I like having him, but I'm not really bothered. Do you know what I think? It's not really become a part. It's no big thing. Do you ever, do you ever miss the dog? I did when I was on holiday, actually I missed a dog a little bit.

And then the came home and I was like, yeah, okay, that's just what the dog does. You're a people person. You know what? I'm a Rob Beckett person. Yeah, very much. I think big fan of myself on my own really, at the moment. Yeah, oh this is funny, right. So Louie's supposed to be going to a couple of away trips coming up either on tour or I'm away from Romish filming and anyway we might be going to Jamaica soon for an episode. So sometimes away for like four or five nights

so what Luna normally does is if it's in like school holidays we'll go away of her parents somewhere so she's not on her own so there's supposed to go in centre parks and she's to go in centre parks and she's booked her sister or whatever and And then father-in-law, Mick, her dad, has been going to center parks for about 40 years, right? He's 60 odd, right? And then he went, I might not come actually. I've done center parks so many times. I might leave it. And his wife, my friend thorough went, what? So you're just going to sit indoors on your own for a week? And he went, yeah. And I was just like, my man! Oh man! Oh, that sounds amazing, Vic.

Does that never leave you? Is that all, that's all I want now? And when you're 60, you'll still be wanting that. And he's by luncheon, but the way you're so very much. What you're just going to sit indoors on your own for a week. It's like, yeah, yeah, that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly that's exactly, that's exactly, that's exactly, that's exactly, that's. It's like yeah, yeah that's exactly what you said is exactly what I want to do is what I'm gonna do. Oh dear how's your week been? It's been all right actually the I'm just trying to I've been thinking

like the kids getting up and like that I wake up in the morning I don't don't about you right so the kids now to bed they're the kids now. I'm their the the their their their their their their their their their their their they're their they're they're their their they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I's th is. I's thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. I's their their their their their their their their their them to bath, them at half six, put them into bed about about seven, they normally go about half, seven, eight, depending on how jazz they are, right? And then they get up, but probably sometimes six, sometimes if a lucky half six, right? So but it's about six, half six, but they wake up just like, room, rum, ready, like, like an athlete, read, red, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they's, they's, they's, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're probably, they're probably, they're they're they're probably, they're probably, they're probably, they're, they're, they're, they're's have this, let's go. I wake up most mornings, right, and I immediately go, for fuck sake, fucking hell, like that's my immediate thought, and not in like a I'm down and depressed way, but just like, I've got nothing in the tank here, you know what I mean? I'm already fucked, and the day's just,

what is going on? I'm so just thi th.......... What, th. What, th. What, th. I'm, th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. to. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tha. And, tha. And, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, tha. that's, that's, tha. tha. And, tha. And, tha. And keep the kids staying bed longer, then I just think if you can't beat them, join them. So I'll just sort of start thinking, are you going out the blocks? Hard? Well, no, no, but I'll just think, why don't I just try and sleep like they sleep? What, you're going to bed at half seven? Well, no, but I just thought, surely it's madness to keep it...... I's, they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. Are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are you're, are, are you're, are you're, are you're, are you're, are you're, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are, are, are, are, are, are? Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. th. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. th. Are. Are. th. th. th. th. th. Are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are, are the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th to keep doing the same thing but get the wrong result. So the answer is, go sleep when they sleep, isn't it? Yeah, yeah it is. But then, is that possible?

Do you think you can get to sleep at half seven, eight? No. But also the problem is you put them down. There's about, they got to tidy up, dish washer. But I just think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thei. thi. thi. they. they. thee. the. thi. the. thi. thi. that's sleep as early. I mean, I went to sleep at 10 to 10 this week. Yeah. And I felt, it felt quite late. If I'm at home now, I can't remember the last time I was up at 10 p.m. Well, what time does your boy get up?

Half-five? So is it sort of, is it settled to half five? He did a 415 out of nowhere the other day, but then it was a one-off. He's back to half five. He did six yesterday, half five the day. Four fifteen is absolutely a brutal. He woke up. We've made, we've made what I would describe as a tactical error of Rob. The thing is you've got to identify it, haven't you? You've got to identify the tactical act. Accept your mistakes. You are in the long road to sleep, in the first few years you will make tactical errors. Yeah.

We made them with our daughter, for instance when we got one of those things that plays stories on cards. Yeah, yeah. And we played them until she went, so she got to sleep. But then she'd wake up in the night and she wouldn't be able to resettle because she wasn't listening to a story. That kind of tactical error. And we've started picking up out of the cot to reassure him. Oh no. To get him back to self-settle. Oh, never toucest them. Never touch.

Never touch. That's like, when they've got friends over and they're playing quietly, never check on them and never make eye contact or all of a sudden they want you again. Yeah, exactly. The key to parenting, never toughs them, never turned out all right, didn't you? Yeah, just about.

So we were trying to correct that because the 415 was horrific. Because I said to Rose, you go upstairs and go to sleep. Because if we're both getting on at 415, I'm not going to be able to go back to bed. Do you know what I mean? So I took the 415 till 615 shift. That is so, that, that's two hours. I know. So he's awake downstairs at that point? No, no, no, no. I was just resettling him, trying to sleep. Just doing an hour and 45 minutes of sleep training Rob. Oh yeah, of course why not? I've got a busy day. Yeah, I'm the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. I's. That's. I's. That's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I's.m. I cracked, got him out of the cot, held him in the dark, he fell asleep in my arms, put him back in the cot. 5.02 he woke up again, I couldn't fucking believe.

So Pacey, you're getting up at 4.15? No, no, no, no, I'm just back to sleep at 615 Rob. Oh, you lazy bastard. I know, I go back to bed. For two hours. For two hours. Okay, fair enough. But yeah, it's, I just, this tour this morning, I just thought, 5.30, this is untenable for in the long run, right? Because how long for my relationship is every day going to start with me getting up for a bit and then Rose getting up and me going back to bed and us both not being up together until about half eight? Do you know what I mean? Do you want to tell me what they answer to that? Yeah. Because my mum was, it was 4.30 for for my mom. Yeah, fucking owl mate. Why so you not hate you? Yeah, oh my god, there's something, there's a fucking fox fight in my garden. Hang on. What?

Jesus crug. Oh my God, my dog. That was a fucking fox fight in my garden. There was a fox fight in your garden. Look attheir window there's two foxes just going like fighting and chasing each other then my dog come out and they shit themselves and booted it oh my god that was insane I felt like a YouTube video that you shouldn't watch anyway sorry I got completely distracted felt like something that was organized in a car park I know I just won 80 quid on that I just won 80 quid on that was organized in a car park. I know I've got I just won 80 quid on that. Two to one on Bushydale. So what was the way yeah fight yeah that

is yeah but I think yeah I think they will get better but yeah it's just a bad day because I got back so late you know what I mean? Josh do you want to hear a dad joke I did that didn't go down very well? Yes, please. I had to pick my door up from ballet and then basically you sort of wait outside and the fucking foxes are back in. What is this? It's just foxes knocking about my garden giving it the large one. Get the dog out of there. Absolutely joke.

So you know what you're here for and I said, what's available? A bit of fun, isn't it? Yeah, why not? And then they just just they just stared at me and I don't know, yeah just my daughter. Oh God. Beckett. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Yeah, Becket. Yeah, back it. But I just was like, oh no, you're just like this is bad. People need to cheer up, man. Oh, can the the the the the the the other. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. bad. People need to cheer up mate. Oh can I tell you what happened to me the other morning right? This is, right? So Lou has let me sleep in. So when I say sleep in I get up about probably half seven, eight to sort of help with the school run but I'm not up at six okay. So at 7 a.m. Lou comes in, I went, Robb. I went, yeah. What you're doing on on the th. What th. What th. What?? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th let th let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let th. th let th let me th let me let me th let me th let let let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me th let me th let me th let th let let th let let let let th. L. L. L. Let th. Let th. Let th. Let th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo the. Loo. Loo the. Loo the. Loo. Loo the. Loo. Loo the. Loo I'm trying to book some tickets to go to this Dynamsore show at Bromley. Right. This is 7 a.m. I'm asleep.

I'm like, oh, what, uh, and I roll over pathetically. I should have gone, why don't you piss off? And we have a chat about this when I'm away. Who? It's not glassin' bra. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. this. this. this. th. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this refreshing the page surely. I'm probably church as well I've done about nine nights so I'm sure they could sort me out a couple of tickets if I ring up and say can I buy some tickets please. Anyway so pathetically roll over I'm doing a gig in Milton Kings and then she went well there's dinosaur show at 11 and we're one thought I was like what you're expecting from me? How can I honestly tell you if I want the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to, I don't even know what it is, I don't, it's ridiculous. But I think that's what happens when you've been awake so long, you just think everyone, you sort of convince yourself, everyone must be awake by now. Well when

I get up and I do my like my early morning, when I'm, so I'll say I do my half half, five, so three, get him up at six, get him at six, th, th, th, the six, the six, the six, th, th, th, the the the th, th, the the the the th, th, the the the the the th, the the the the th, the the the the th, th, th, their, their, their, their, their, I, I'll their, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the the the the the the th., th. So, th. Oh, th. Oh, that, that, that, that, th. Oh, th. Oh, that, that, that, thirty, thirty, that, thirty, that, that, hour, 15 hour and a half, and then I'll come back up to swap in with Rose, so that's half seven, 7.15. And I'll walk in and I can't believe it if she takes more than three seconds to get out of bed. I'm so impet. I'm like, come on now, even though she's fast asleep, I'm so impatient. So since it's a quarter past six. She's like I'm going th, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going th, I'm going th, I'm th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi's a thi's a half, thi's a half, thi's thi's theee-a'''''''''''' that, that, that, that, th. I'm so impatient. So since it's a quarter past six. She's like, I'm gonna brush my teeth and I'm, no, this is quarter by seven. And I'm be like, she's like, I'm just gonna brush my teeth and I'm thinking, this is fucking unbelievable. I don't know, is it a thing women desperate to brush their teeth all the time? Always I've got a brush, I've thaphatth. tha brush, I've tha brush, I've kid don't care, have you got smelly breath did it? They might make him go back to bed. I didn't even brush my teeth last night,

Rob. Straight into bed. I just couldn't be fucking bothered. Oh, grot mouth. I just thought, who's going to know? This is quite good. Talking about being tired, you know how tiaid you were. I did, when I did Taskmaster, you know when I did Tasked, when I did Taskmaster. And when my daughter was born, I literally recorded it in December, I'm actually going back to my old diary now. I went back to work, I had to go back to work because it was filming six days after she was born. So, and I was on like three hours sleep, right? And I did, um... Just checking whether you went to a dinosaur event. Six years ago. No, it was six, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, Six years ago. No, it was six days. I just checked.

It was six days after. And I basically came home from, I did a tour show and I came home at like one in the morning and Lou had been up with the baby all night. So Lou gave me the baby. And it was when the baby, a bit, Tom Parrius, but the baby for like four hours and then I woke up again at like five in the morning Gave me Went to sleep for like two hours and woke up at seven my car was coming at half seven

Got in my no couple cars coming at seven got in the car so basically had two hours sleep Then got in this car to twicken them for an hour and a half so far away so far away so far half hour of sleep and half of that was in the back of a car, right? Get on set. The set is a freezing cold running track, right? Yeah, of course. And the challenge was get from here to a microwave without walking, right? And there was a bucket of freezing bucket of water. So I did the challenge were like tothe challenge I rolled on the floor and I'd goo shit and the next one

was moving a bucket of freezing cold water and it was actually ice was on top of the bucket of water and I did that for a half hour sleep and if you watch back now my eyes are so sad. I just got nothing. It's just so awful. But yeah, I mean if you've got, give it those, if you've got any of those stories of when you had to go goto work and what happened when you were absolutely done in, please let us know, because I think it'll make people feel better, especially if you're on that, you know, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know. I don't think, like, uh, lighthearted ones would be quite good. How much do you thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. I. I. I. I. I. Oh, like, like, th. Oh, like, like, like, that, like, like, like, like, years, what percentage of the stress and the importance is sleep? I'd say it's about 85% of what you care about with the baby. Yeah, I think, yeah, especially at the beginning as well.

Yeah. Like, he's a good eater. My daughter's not a good eater. She's not bad, but she wasn't nearly as... You can give him anything and he'll eat it. My daughter's not a good eater. She's not bad, but she wasn't nearly as you couldn't just, you can give him anything and he'll eat it. But I remember someone telling me, one of my children's a good sleeper, the others good at eating, but they're both as stressful as each other, the bad eater and the bad sleeper,

and I thought, I now think you are fucking insane if you think that. Someone refusing, the sauce the sauce the sauce th sauce th sauce th sauce th sauce th sauce th sauce ththink that. Someone refusing sauce on pasta is so different to 415 a.m. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply, visit MX.c.c.A.S.Platten. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.

I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers. Up to 5% off smooth Uber and Uber eats. Just to be clear. I'm thiiiiiiiiiia tha their tha tha tha tha tha theee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. I's. I's. I's. the. the. the. the. the. theuuooooooooooooooooooooooooooeuu. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber 1 for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibet and member terms apply. Let me send it to the threat.

Let me send it at the height of the newborn phase. Look how ill I look. I've sent it to the WhatsApp group. I'll stick it on Instagram. Look at my eyes. Oh my God, look at you. God, you're so young as well, but you look young and old. You look younger and older than now. I know, it's mental, isn't it? It looks like something for that train spotting poster,

that would be ideal for us. That guy I'll stick on Instagram. Yeah, we'll put it on on. Josh, do you want some, I've got loads of good Instagram. Also I had a quick look at your emails as well. I don't know if you've had time to go through them but I can read out a couple of your emails. First and foremost is pronounced port limp. the the to pronounced. to pronounced to pronounced to pronounced to to to to to to to to to to pp. Port Port Port port the to the to pp. P pp. the the the the to pp. the to pp. First of palt pot. First the to th. First of palt. th. First th. First th. First th. First th. First th. First th. First is pronounced th. First is pronounced th. First is pronounced th. First is pronounced th. I'm p. I'll p. P p. P p. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. I's p. I's p I don't know what I want. Anyway, hundreds of messages from these stiff-necks, who gives a shit? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Paultlimp? If you understand what I was saying, you'll still be able to book tickets.

People going to a place, things I don't have an opinion on. Glad you guys are back, this is from Rose in South London. My life is so empty that I need you to both chat into my years twice a week. I'm 35 and I don't know how many days each month has. If I haven't learned it by now I never will and I don't care. Do you know about the month? I have to do the rhyme. I have I have I have I have I have the the the the the the the th. I have I have I have I have I have I have the the the to do to do the the th. I have th. I have to do to do th. I have to do to do to do to do to do tho. I have to do the to do tho. I have tho. I have tho. I have tho. I have to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have thi. I have the thi. I the thi. I thi. I have thro. I have thro. I have thro. I have thro. I'm throoo. I throoooo. I the. I throooooo. I have the. I have to do the. No, no, don't do the rhyme. No, not the pathetic rhyme, you're a grown-up. Okay, you can't do that. You can't do that. You need, you know, just don't anyone, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, February. 28, thirty, the thirty, I know that, thirty, th, th, the, th, th, th, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, the, not, not, not, the, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, th, and, and, and, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, th. tho, tho, tho, tha, tho, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, Yeah. 30 in April. I know that because it's my birthday and when I was a kid I was always a bit annoyed about that. April, May. 31. Yep. 31. thirty. thirty.

Oh no, he's good. July. July 31. 31. September. September's 31. September. September. September. September. September's 31. Oh no no he's 30. Oh no he's failed. He's failed he's gone. he's gone. Oh. Oh. He's gone. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. Oh. Oh. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. Oh. Oh failed! He's failed! He's gone in September! October? 31? Yes, because of Halloween? November? Uh, 30? Yes, December. December's 31 because of New Year's Eve.

It is harder than you think, why don't they just make a- What is it all over the shop? What is time? What is it the... Why is... Standardize it? What's going on with February? Let's get the EU involved. This is what the European Union was meant for. Let's get this digital. If I didn't vote leave, Rob, so that I could have 29 days in February. I'm telling you that for free. That's not what Nigel Farage promised me. Do you know what I want? I want 25 each month. to bring it down. Exactly what I want I want 25 tw tw tw tw tw to 25 to 25 to 25 to 25 to to to to to the to to the to their to to their their their to their their to their their their to th. I th. I want I want I want I want I want 25 their their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their their. their their their th. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. t month. Exactly. Stop your bloody red tape in Brussels and let's cut some bloody days off the months. That would be alright wouldn't it? What would happen if they're just less days?

Well we'd slowly fall out of sync with the seasons wouldn't we? True, but then... and the moon. What's the moon going to do? Lots of people are into the moon? the the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the moon. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the moon. the the moon. the the the the the the the moon. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the the the the the the the moon, but I don't really understand it. Could someone tell us the why the calendar is like it is? I didn't vote leave, I should just be clear on that. But I haven't got a problem if you do. But anyway, yeah, it is weird. And let's not get started on Easter, Rob. What the fuck's going on that? When it is, it justthat, the crucifixion. If I die and came back to life, I'd expect people to remember the fucking date.

Yes, exactly. It's a big deal, especially if you're the son of God. Come back to life. Note this down. No down the day. Yeah, you're just half of a podcast and people would still care. Imagine if you were Jesus Christ. Oh mate, the listeners we'd have. If Jesus started a podcast, it'd really, I tell you what. Blow the charts to smithereens. He didn't have kids, did he, Jesus? We'll get God on. Get Joseph and Mary.

That'd be a good chat. I'd like to Joseph, actually. Here we go to Joseph. After listening to your latest episode, Rob's Holiday to Tenerife has revealed a lot of things. My girlfriend of many years has been desperate to go to Tenarief since we got together for one main reason, her childhood memories of Tony Romas. I've played her the episode. And she kicked off, refusing to listen to the open honesty of your reviews. We are booked to go on our first family holiday to Teneri-ift this year. to their their their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. their. their. their. th. their. th. their. th. th. th. their. their. their, tooom. their, their, their. tooome. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. I's, tooom. I's, to one. to one. to one. to one. to one. together. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm, tode. toda. t toda. I'm, today. today. I'm today. And, today, today, today, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toeomas keep up the good work. Always a great listen on the way home after a night shift. Luke what I would say is Tony Romas if you went there as a kid in the 90s you'd love it because it was we couldn't really get American food in England could we? Like we do now. So I what I would say is she just be very careful what youthat? I think that's one I went

to you yeah. It's a hundred and fifty-third out of two hundred and seventy-three so it's not in the relegation zone Rob. No no no not at all no but I'd say those if you're gonna go. Can I just say if you go again to Tenerife Rob yeah for this podcast I feel it's your duty to find out what the 273rd restaurant is on the on the o. the the the to the to the to to the to the to to to to the to to to to the to to their to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. to be. I their. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. It's. It's. It's. It's their the the the the the the the t. It's t. It's t. t. t. t. t. the t. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I's. your duty to find out what the 273rd restaurant is on TripAdvis and just pay it a visit. What is weird, they don't have a Tony Roma's in England. They've just got them in Spain. No. What I'd say is if you're going to go to Spain, do you really want to have baby back

ribs to the sound of 50s music? No. No, I don't. I'm not, I, that's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th. I'm not, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. th. th. I'm th. I'm, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It, th. It. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. I, th. I'm, to. I'm. I'm, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. 't. I know I don't. I'm not, that's what, I'm not there for some, you know, some sweet honey kicking chicken, whoever it's got a picture of, on trip advisor, it's got a picture of a dish which is a kind of... Oh, the onion thing. No, it's an unidentifiable nameless meat with a bit of green on top of it, but it's got something that I haven't seen since I was a child that I forgot exists, which is a baked potato as a side. Yes, made potatoes as a side. They still do that harvester, I believe. Do they?

Yeah. How are people having a fucking baked potato as a side? That is a main meal. And mate, they don't, the portion sizes are insane. Also the other picture is someone who's got a burger and chips. thia. thia. thiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, but, but, but, but that, but that, but that, but that, but it's that, but it's that, but it's that, but it's that, but it's that, but that, but that, but that, but that, but that, but that, but that, someone who's got a burger and chips with a second plate of chips. These photos are insane on the Tony Roma's trippadizer. Mate, the onion loaf, have you had it? The onion loaf?

It's basically a giant Spanish onion loaf, hand cut, breaded, deep, the onion loaf. Threaded, deep fried and served in a big, like a fist. Is it surrounding a weird kind of dip? That's the onion loaf. I'm looking at a picture of the onion loaf. And it looks, it looks like something from, you know, what's that film? District 9 or something?

What the one about, the aliens in South Africa? Yeah, it looks like a kind of alien life form. It looks like something like, yeah, it has the pictures, I mean it's quite, it's a good watch actually. The trip advisor Tony Romers, they're so big. I would say, the trip advisor of Tony Robers, every picture is fucking insane. Look at these. Have you seen, have you seen the one with the four corner of the cobs and the chips? How far down is that? Such a massive mad meal. I don't know this is good or bad for Tony Robes PR. I mean if you like if you're hungry it's the place to go. If you're in Tenerife and you want to eat some to eat some to Tony Robes. You fancy an onion loaf. In 35 degrees, if you want to dip some onion into... What the fuck is that you just sent me?

That's the chips and cold on the cold. Oh my word. What is this? Right, that's it. I would implore everyone to go on the trip advisor. I think Tony Robbers might do better than it was when I went. I'm absolutely fascinated. Oh right, here we go. Hi, just wanted to say I love the podcast and it is a gift that keeps on giving, blah blah blah. I'm a midwife that often has to work over the Christmas period. Babies do not get the memo to not be born on Christmas

to their colleagues and I thought we could campaign for masturbation March to allow to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their their their to their their mid midm. to to to to to to to to their to to to their their. I their to to to to to to to their. I'm their. I was. I was. I was. I is is their. I is their. I is their. I is their. I is is their. I is their. I is their. I is their. I is their. I is their. I is their stuff their their their their their their their their their their their their their to toemibeck. toeck. toeck. I'm toeck. I'm just just just just just. I'm toeck. I'm toecklea. I'm toe. I'm their their their their toe midwifes to have time off over Christmas with their families. You're doing the world of service. And perhaps instead of no sex march, you'd like to promote this. So this is what I'll say as well because having a birthday in December or January is terrible. So let's push masturbation march. That's going to become our big campaign. Yeah, and that's from Catherine Payne, midwife at Princess and South Hampton and she said thanks so much for being non-relatable, unlikable but sexy and funny. That's what we want to hear Catherine Payne. Yes thank you. When do you think masturbation march should stretch from because you think it

should move into the first week of April as well? It depends if we're going to push for the Nigel Farage 25 days in each month, forget about the seasons, anti-EU approach. I'd say probably last week of Feb into the first week of April, whole of part. So six weeks, no one's allowed to have sex. But you can wank as much as you want. Do not combine masturbation march with giving up wanking for Lent. That would be the absolute nightmare. No, that's the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the the worst. the the worst. the worst. the worst. that's the worst. that's thi-. that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. the th. the th. th. th. th. to th. to th. to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to th. to th. the th. th. that's the worst, isn't it? You're like, the amount of chocolate you'll get through, just all frustrated. I'm so tired this morning, Rob. I can't tell you, right? Yeah. I'm just, this is the most

fucked I've ever been on this show. Really? So what you wish you're going to football today? Because I'm mentally tired. Yes. I'm going to football today football to football to football to football to football today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm thi. I'm to football today and then I'm hosting a charity event tonight. What is it for? Hackney Food Bank I think. Alright, okay, so that's a good charity? Yeah, it's a good charity. But you don't need it here. I would say it's unfortunate timing. That's what I would say.

They're not going to get the best of me. They're not going to get the best best to get the best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best the next street. So that's positive. Yeah. They might have to start opening a celebrity host bank to a sort of replace you. All right guys, we're going to need some help here. This guy's too tired. Is anyone else that can step in? Well, that's a good thing to do. Well, good for you and I hope you and your daughter? Well, I think I'd take my daughter and then we mean... Does she want to go?

Well, her friend who she really likes is going to go so it's kind of... This is what I'd do, right? Have you, is the other parent coming? Yeah. Just text them and go, look, are they bothered about football? Well, yeah, that's why we're doing it. We want we wea. We wea. We want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want we want to to to to to to to go. We want to go, we want to go, we want to go, we want to go, we want to go, we want to go, we to go, we to go, we to go, we to go, we to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go, we to go, we to go, we to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the football. the football. the football. the football. tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to go, to to to the football because it's right it's so amateury Rob they can play at the side okay sure okay so that it's quite but are the kids not just gonna get cold and bored would you not be better just going why don't we take to the tour shop get a tour and they just play in your front room and you have a beer on the sofa and what's on football well at 545 a.m. this morning, Rob. I'm surprised you get on the website that time, wasn't it a lot of traffic?

Took a bit of tombs to load up, all the traffic that's like Adele tickets. They're gonna look, they're gonna look at their's a lunatic that's booked four tickets. If it was me, I'd tap out of that and say, look mate, I'm absolutely knackered. Here's my plan. We can take the kids out, go maybe, like to the swings or a little bit for half an hour, go and we say, let's go to the toy, let's go to the toy, let the toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. Let toy. Let toy. Let your call. You might like the fresh air, but I would, um... Do you know what I want to do, Rob? If you could do anything, what would you do? Sit in a room alone. Dark? Just nothing?

Just nothing? Just nothing. Just a podcast that I don't care about. And I just stare. I just stare. end it isn't it? Or do you want another, should we do another Instagram? Try and be a bit upbeat. Let's make it more. I feel, that's just felt, that's just felt sad. I'm just very, I've I've just got to get through to next week. Yeah, just got to get through to next week. And then everything gets much easier. Did I tell you about my interview Rob. Yeah, I mean it's quite a pressing interview that is it. What are you talking about your tour? Yes, but but crucially Rob I wasn't lying.

Anyway, oh, there you go I've said it. Yeah, right? Anyway, I had three minutes. So what did you talk about? I talked about the tour and then I left. Oh, did you mention that Kate you asked you you you the paper you the paper, you the paper, you the paper, you, you had the paper, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th. th. th. th. th. I, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho tho, tho, tho' tho'er, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, tho, tho. thereeeea. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tha. tha. I talked about the tour and then I left. Oh did you mention that Kate you asked Kate Middleton to be on the show? Oh yeah they are saying the paper that's pretty in three minutes you managed to make the paper. That's how good Maidle is isn't it? Him and Susan Areadle. I love Richard Maidley. I love he gets a bad I think he's quite self-aware, but I think he actually does think those things, but it's unfortunate that society thinks that's quite Alan Partridgey. Yeah. Because all he's saying is what his opinion is, and he's sort of got a bit of a full-fraud, But it's just sort of, I think................ to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, that, actually, actually, that, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, actually, is, actually, actually, is, is, actually, that, is, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, is, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th presenter that you sort of had to be 25 years ago and he's

still doing that now and now the sort of the current trend is a bit more like laid back and conversational but he's a bit more like yeah I'm a great presenter and I'm gonna make my point now yeah yeah but I like I like how fethery his hair is I'd love madly on this show so floppy isn't it the one more here to end this is thrown this one one one one one one one one one one one one one one this is this is this is this is this is the the the the the th I thinininininin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thinneneneneneneneneau me me to make to me me me to make to me to me to me to me to end up. This is make you feel better, okay? Right, this is from Kate, age 35, perpetually tied in Bristol. In the summer, we finally managed to get away on our first family holiday. Our boy had just turned three,

our baby was six months old, and we had a lockdown puppy in tow two. We booked a static caravan, with fancyful ideas of how magically it would be to be to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to all the tantrums, all the teevin and all the sleepings nights, and endless hours without any child care, all confined in a tiny, stinky caravan, we decided the best thing to do was get in the car and go out for the day. Hubby battles to get the tantrumming toddler into the car, who's shouting and screaming, and he wants to go out for the day. We put the sleeping baby into the car seat and then we put the puppy in. The puppy escapes his seat, jumps around

and steps on the baby who wakes up and starts wailing. Oh God. Hubby says under his breath for fuck sake to which I told her repeat yeah fuck sake dog. Oh God! Oh God! We are in despair in the front seat of the car and we look at each other in despair and I say to my husband, come on now, we can still do this. We can enjoy today if we can turn this around, to which we hear a little voice pipe up from the back of the car. You two can't turn this around. What? What?

What? Heckled by the turn this around. Oh that is incredible. Crying baby, jumping dog, swearing kid who's now trolling you. You can't even tell the kid off for saying for fucks sake, if you just said for fucks sake. You can say that's an naughty world I shouldn't have done it, but you're sort of apologizing as well. But you can't tell a kid off for saying you can't tu- this around. No. It's the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. ttode. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. the. the. the. this around. No. It's my, it's pure mind games. Yeah, and they're right, because let's be honest, that's the words that are going through your head at that point as well. Just drive, oh, that's a thing though, like,

you can't really have a holiday with a baby. I'm sorry, I know you've got one, Josh, and you're looking to book. You can't. You absolutely can't. You can't have a day off. But what I will say is when they're three or four the youngest, it's an absolute dream. And it's magical. Great, only a thousand days. A thousand days. That's all you've got, Josh. Oh my god. A thousand more business shout-o'er. A thousand tasks. And then you're free, thetoday, you'll be alright. Let's do small business shout-outs and then you can go

small business shout-out. And go and stand in the cold and watch a Clapton play. Yeah. You know, it's only what's two degrees today, you'll be alright? Oh, the new coat. Oh, you've Jesus fucking wept. You look nice and warm anyway. I tell you, I'm never too hot, but I'm always warm. Don't know how it does it. Lovely. I love a new coat. Always treat, I like to treat myself to a new coat every winter. It takes the taken the gloom out of my mood this morning. Oh, you're full of beans now and it's black.

It's black. It's black like my heart. Okay, right, here we go. Dear Rob and Josh, I love the podcast and have been an avid listener since finding out I was going to be a dad in January 2021. I was excited to hear Josh was having another baby just a few months before my own was due. So I could get a real lifetime insight into what was to come. I have a quick small business shout out to request. I used to make my living as a touring drummer with Wishbone Ash, but COVID-haunted, oh, do you like them? Wishbone Ash?

Not really. But I'm aware of them. Absolutely savage today but COVID-horted live shows for two years and having a baby maybe reconsider my priorities. While bottle feed him... I don't dislike them I'm just I'm just I'm indifference to wishbone ash guys will love to hear that from you Josh. Well I'm just trying to give his business a shout out you'll slag it off his last one. While bottle feeding my one in the early hours I found myself wanting a nightlight app for my iPad that would gradually fade out to Lala to sleep. To my amazement, I couldn't find one. So I created one and put it, oh, that's a good idea because basically my kids do this. We have a light on to get them to sleep, but it's too bright in the night and we want to get

them used to the dark. So we, this is good actually. some of the lost income from Turing. After two months it's made 12 and 67, so I'm not holding my breath. Lily is four months old now and I still use it every night when I put her to bed. Perhaps some of your listeners might find it useful and helpful, so leave me a nice review. You'll find it at Fade Out Nightlight.

Or just search the Apple App Store for Fade Out Nightlight. Thank you for helping me keep saying, Joe, that's a good one. Oh, thank you, thank you. And I'm going to listen to Wishbone Ash on Spotify after this to see whether I'm recogniz any of the songs because I only know the band name. So I think they're great. Do you Rob? What's your favorite song? Probably just, you know, the wish bone. Yeah, I've never heard of Wishbone Ash to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the to be the to be to be the wish bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone. to be the wish bone. to be to be to be the wish bone. to be to be the wish bone. to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to wish wish wish wish to wish the wish the wish the wish the wish the wish the wish the wish bonnash bone. the wish bone. the wish bone. the wish bone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wishbone. the wish bone. the wish bone. the wish bone. th tho tho tho tho to to to to to to tho to to to to to tho to tho tho tho that one actually. Is it that one? Yeah that one with the guitar. Yeah I've never heard of wishbone Ash to be honest. Hi my name is Antonella. Love your pod, love you both. Please please could you do me a business shout out? I run a small Italian food business from my home in Sheffield by myself. My recipes are my mumas which are traditional

from the south of Italy which is delicious food food, I've eaten all my life. My bestseller is my beef meatball lasagna. I sometimes make a vegetarian one, which is very similar to Josh's. Mmm, okay. What does she get Rose's mom to do the white sauce? Yes, she does. I put Porchini mushrooms in mine too. I need to move to Porchini. I need to move to Porciniuine porcini. I po po pochini. I. I. I to move to move to move to move porcini. I. I. I to to to to to to to pochini. I to to to pochini. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to m. I'm tomeauchinia. I mea. I mea. I mea. I mea. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I m. I to m. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ta d. ta d. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tauteauteautea. tautea. ta.eathea. ta.eathea vegetaeraerogeat. tomea d. ta. Your neck is so stiff. It's so fucking stiff right now Josh. I need to move to Porcinou. Oh, it's just ridiculous. You know butter and mustard from a vegetable tongue. Oh, have you seen the bloke that does an impression of you? Either it's millions of the

bastards right. On Tick Tock? No, because I'm not on Tick Tock. Why is someone doing a impression tho? Do thi. Do your shout. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do your impression. Do th. Do thi. Do your impression. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do a impression. Do a impression. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I thi. I'm a th. I thi. I'm a thi. I'm a thi. I'm a th. I'mS-T-O-R-E-L-L-I. I call it Pasto. My Instagram is Pasto P-A-S-T-O-I-T-I-L-I-L-I don't have a website. You don't have a website. You don't need them, you've got Instagram, mate. I listen to theto Bob Wals cooking and it keeps me very entertained thank you so much Antonella. Right I've got one more quick shout out as well. I don't know basically dog walking in Bromley is quite a niche one. Bromley Dog Days and I'm not paying for this and I pay my way on these dog walks so I'm not getting any freebies but he's a theybree bribes. Brian does the dog day day and toe. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So I I I I I's. So. So. So. So I's. So I's. So I's. So I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not getting. I'm not getting. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not getting. I'm not getting. I'm not getting. I'm not getting. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not the the the the the the to. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm not.coat at UK and he's on Bromley Dog Days on Instagram. Give him a follow, he's starting out a new business and he's brilliant, loves, absolutely loves dogs, and he takes little thread out for a walk once a week when we've got the kids doing clubs and stuff.

So yeah, he's absolutely brilliant if you need dog walking, Bromley, Dog Days damage in these voices. Boris Johnson. Ah, I'm a way, emotional damage. So he's basically doing emotional damage is a trend on Tick Tock, right? So that's a Boris one, right? You're happy with that? I thought it was a little hammy.

Okay, let me do your, the Gordon Ramsey was quite good. David Attenborough. Um, now we see the young bug with emotional damage. That's a good one, isn't it? Gordon Ramsey. Yeah, young man, big boy, like, look at me, yes? You've given me emotional, fucking damage. Yeah, that's good. that is good. Anyway, he does a few. the the the the the young. the the the young. the young. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the young th. th. th. th. th. the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young the young. the young. the young. the young. the young. the young. the young. the young. the young. the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. the. th th good. That is good. Anyway, he does a few and then his last one is Josh Widdicum. Do you want to hear it? No. Josh Widdicum. Yes, he's given me emotional damage. Yes, yes. That is unacceptably shit. That was bad on it. That is a bad one. That is rubbish. That is zippy. That is zippy. That is not. That is not. That is not a bad one. That is like he's not aware of a thii. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a th. That is a thi. That is a thi. That is. That is. That is. That is a thi. That is a thi. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is z. That is z. That is z. That is z. That is zi. That is zi. That is zi. That is zi. That is zi. That is zi. That is zi. That is zi. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is z. It is a zi. It is zi. It is zi. It is zi. It's a zi. It's. It's thi. It's. It's thi. It's. It's. It's a zi. It's. It's that is zi. It is zi. It is met me. Well, obviously he's not met me. It's like he's not aware of my work. It's incredibly weak. Josh Whitakum, Alan Karan Zippy was having a sort of threesome in your mouth.

It's totally, and I wouldn't say no to that, it's totally unacceptable. Totally unacceptable. Yeah, but anyway, the other ones were quite good. I'd describe that as bullying. That was a geyser on Tick Tock. He's a voiceover artist and a impressionist. I should give him a, a, uh... No, you shouldn't give him a follow or you shouldn't give him anything for that, his name's Darren, he's name's Darren, he's a today. His name's Darren, um, yeah, so I thought that's that was that was that was that was that was that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's enjoyed them. I can't do it now. I used to be able to do Josh Woodacum.

I thought yours was as good as his. Fair enough. Right, well we'll see you next week, people. We are working on ceilib interviews. We'll get them in for February. So it's just our chat episode and best of. So enjoy people. And thanks for listening to that best of.

Now. thanks for listening to that best of. Now that's what I call Parenting Hell. That was a, it went straight to number one in the charts. So thank you very much. Thank you. And don't forget to review as well. That always helps and thooe, give us a little review. that's a we've got a couple more and then we've got the the one of Hackney and we are

you know I know everyone's really excited. Please please please though do not do not buy any tickets on via go go they're like it's always overpriced and a bit of a scam so anyone that anyone that's got a ticket you know they're all don't get involved they don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't get in they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't don't get they don't don't don't don't get they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't. they they they. they they they. they they they they. they they're. they're they're all. they're all. they're all don't. they're all. they're all don't they're. they're don't they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they we're looking at trying to do some more potentially next year. So hold your horses. I think so, I'm not sure, it's all a bit dodged, but there's a tickets like 200 quid which is an absolute rip-off. So do not buy them and you know, if you want to come and you know if you want to come, we'll do them and you know if you're selling their their their to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to everyone can come and watch and we're really enjoying the show We're working on it and yeah, it's good. It's very different if you are selling tickets on Viagogo you're a twa. Yes, your scam Anyway, right speak to you next week. See you later. Bye