Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP34: Esther Manito

Starting point is 00:00:00 Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. I'm going back to University for zero-dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber won for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student joined for just 499 a month savings may vary eligibility

Starting point is 00:00:32 and member terms apply. Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parent in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what is really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe.

Starting point is 00:01:10 Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hill with. Right, Caleb. Can you say Rob Beckett and can you say Josh Widdickham? Good boy well done. Oh that's a nice one. Yeah Caleb my son Caleb who's two and always gave up when asked to say Widdicum but finally gave it a go. I quite like the name Caleb. That's a name of the singer and the Kings of Leon isn isn't it? Lou wanted to call, if you had a boy called Caleb. Yeah, I was against it, but I think I could accept it now. But when it's your first kid and you're from South East London, a working class family, you can't bowl him with a Caleb. It You fuck? Here he comes to fuck. I remember

Starting point is 00:02:07 like we used got grief of our cousins and aunties and uncles. My brother Dan in like 98, 2000 had sort of slightly longer hair. And they kept going, oh here he comes fucking Paul McCartney. What a reference? What a reference as well? I know. And then it was like, my ears a bit longer, people have had a long hair since the 70s. What are you talking about? It's not like, it's not 1952? Anyway, I've got some really good Instagrams before we bring on our guest. It's brilliant guest today as well. Let's do them. We're doing catch up on correspondence this week. Yeah, because we've been blabbering on. We are so self-obsessed. Hey Josh and Rob. A quick story I thought you might enjoy. Last weekend, I asked my son if he wanted to go and feed the ducks and bread that I had left

Starting point is 00:02:50 over from school lunches. He turned to me with an extremely upset look on his face and, mummy, bread kills ducks. With a look of shock on my face, I'll throw the bread away. Now not knowing that he heard me, he potted down the stairs as I was about to throw the bread out. He looked at me dead in the eye and said to me, Fine, mummy, let's go, murder some ducks. Whoa! I held in my laughter as difficult as it was. My son's teacher then does a weekend recap for the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, the weekend, their their their their app for all the parents in the class to read. My son's weekend update red short yet disturbing

Starting point is 00:03:27 with no context. This week I went to the pond to murder some ducks of my mummy. Safe to say it's Wednesday now and the school has arranged a call with me for 3 p. to be like, oh my God. That can't be true. It might be. It might be actually because I know at my school one of the moms got taken in because I think if the kid if a kid says at school my mommy hits me or my mommy hits my brothers You've got to take it seriously you have to take it. Yeah you can't go it was banter Either the Richard Keyes defense doesn't work in these situations like it's just a bit of banter like? It's just a bit of the things like they've got they've got they've they've got they've got they've got they've got they've got they've got they've got to to to to to to the to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. to. to. te. I. te. I. I. te. te. I. te. te. te. te. te. ttttoda. tttthe. the. the. their. to check those things haven't they? Because if they overlooked, I went to murder the ducks with my mommy, and then in six months it turned out that that's what they actually had done. It's not a good look. Yeah, so I suppose what is, is they get you in and I imagine it's a very quick look.

Starting point is 00:04:14 He said this, I'm sure it's fine, what's the score with bread and ducks? The RSPB has given a definitive answer on if it is safe to feed ducks, geese and swans, bread. This is not my words the RSPB. Okay, because this is according to my London news a surprisingly divisive debate at the water side. Okay. Yes. So a spokesperson said bread is not a natural source of food for waterbirds such as ducks and geese. For this reason, it is suitable for them, but only in very small quantities. Like humans, birds need a variety of food to be healthy and bread doesn't offer birds nutrition they need. So not poisonous, but not exactly a health kick. That last bit is not the words of

Starting point is 00:05:00 the RSPB, but the words of my London.news. There you go. Also this is a great little thing for our audience to get in contact with whenever you've been called into the school. What's the most ridiculous reason you've been called into the school? Did your parents have got called in? I once got put on report and got given a detention because I was part of a group of children that the toole that the TA and they were having a little wine and cheese night and it was all the boxes of wine around. We snicked a bottle of wine and drank it in the woods. And I had one swig and I felt like I was in the Wild West. I hated it. I told my mom immediately felt horrific, went all red face and panicked and thought I was going to go to prison. I do not I do not like breaking the rules. Neither do I. I'm not. I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that thathea thathea' thathea' the thr-a' the thrown the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th th th thr-I thr-a' thr-a' thr-a' thrown thrown thrown throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo than., I hated it. I was a very good boy at school. Did you like alcohol when you first tasted it? I didn't like it at all. No, it hated it.

Starting point is 00:05:47 And I didn't really like it. And then I didn't really drink at all until I went to university. And I studied in tourism, so it's literally nothing to do all day. So I got into drinking their trin. and being nervous to meet girls, meet new people and do things on nights out and wasn't very confident so I used to drink for confidence and then it become part of a sort of habit and a culture of it but I've not drunk for the whole of May I've not drunk for 25 or not. Yeah about 25 days and I feel so much better and I missed that little buzz and fun of a drink but I am absolutely loving

Starting point is 00:06:22 for nearly a month I've woken up every morning. You feel feeling incredible. The feeling of waking up, having not drunk in a few days is like nothing else. Yeah. What a couple of old squares. No but I because I had a I went to the pub with Lou for lunch and it was one of them really hot days last week and we had a little pub lunch kids are in school we went for a dog walk in the countryside and the dog was asleep next to us and I didn I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the feel feel feel feel feel the the the feel feel feel feel feel feel the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. th. I th. I the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the feeling. the feeling feel. the feeling. the feeling. the feeling I the feeling we went for a dog walk in the countryside and the dog was asleep next to us and I didn't, I got one, it was nice actually, it was called like Erdinger. I've never had it before because a lot of the fake beers are rubbish, aren't they? Alcohol free and it tasted like a beer, it was a that, like a beer and what it was it was the ceremony that I wanted. Yeah. I sat down in the sun, the ritual of the ritual of the ritual of it's hot and it's sunny

Starting point is 00:07:10 let's have a drink but my problem is I'll have 15. Yeah I can just drink like a fish and the first one's always the most the first one you enjoy. Yeah but then then I say to myself yeah but you don't want to get drunk all the time because you won't be productive and you'd be tired. But then the other half my brain goes, you've got a shit face of the euros and it was the biggest career boost you've had in about five years. But yeah, if you are trying to not stop drinking, the best one I've had is Erdinger alcohol-free. They're selling in like Tesco's and stuff, I just got it in it normal pub. But that was really nice and it felt really nice, Josh. But I feel so much fresher, not drinking. And parenting is easier when you're not hungover.

Starting point is 00:07:51 Oh, it's so much easier. Well, Rob, it's a lovely message to our audience. Should we meet today's guest, which is one of my favorite interviews hilarious. Really good. Esther Manito. Great story. Amazing story. Especially, do you what's really good? Is that like, Romish did it as well, like he had young kids when he wanted to change his career and left teach and stuff and sterns and stuff. And Espherne. Minuto was a very similar story. She just had young kids but really wanted to do something different and went for it. And it's really inspiring. She's so funny. story, so if you're into maybe wanting to change up what you're doing and you're a little bit nervous and scared about it, listen to Esther because it's a really, really inspiring story.

Starting point is 00:08:28 She's brilliant. Here she is. Here's the minute. Estimato. You said that like a judge. You're about sentenced me. Estimates to 40 minutes of great anecdotes. Am I right, guys? Juryury thjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjury, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe.. the the the the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toeotes, am I right guys? Anyway. Juries out on that one.

Starting point is 00:08:45 Thanks for joining us. How are you, Esther? I'm all right. Just done the school run, you know? Just done the school run. How old are your kids? Six and eight. But you've got a little one, haven't you?

Starting point is 00:08:57 Yeah, so. You're in the eye of the storm. Yeah, the the the the the the the the th, have th, have th, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have the the the th, have th, have the th, the the th, the the th, th, the tho, tho, thi. thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. Thanks, thi. thi. Thanks, thi. tha, tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. Thanks, tha. They are four and zero. Four and ten months. Four and zero, four and nothing. Oh God, ten months. Yeah, that's a hard age isn't it? It's where you've got to walk around with them all the time. Not for him, he's in the Lowry in Manchester. Yeah, I mean, I'll tell me. Look at me. It's not a hard age at all. Well, this is the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, it's not, it's not tho, tho, tho, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh a dad, that's what I say. Just be a dad. Whatever you do, whatever you do, you're trying your best. But whenever you're a mom, it's just not quite good enough. I said I've got boy and a girl and they're like, when we have kids and I was like, just be a dad, whatever you do. Just be a dad. My God. So how do you, how do you split the child care then? Are you, because you're full, you're a full-time comic as well? What was you doing before comedy?

Starting point is 00:09:52 Was you working? I was a teacher. Yeah, I was terrible at that. And then I had kids and I was terrible at that. And then I then I then I then I then I then I had then I had then I had then I had then I had then I had then I had their. And their. And then I had their. And then I had their. And th. And th. And thi. And thi. And th. And th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. So. So, how their. So. So. So, how their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. How. their. And their. And their. And their. And I had their. And I had their. And I had their. And I had their. And I had their. And I had their. And I had their. And I had th. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then I had th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, how their their. So, how their. from that's my therapy. So when you went, because you said to us when we're, that you've been doing stand-up for five years, so you started doing stand-up with a one-year-old and a three-year-old. I had a five-month-old and a two-year-old. Whoa! If nothing screams, cry for help more. And I kept it a secret from my family. Did you?

Starting point is 00:10:28 Really? So what do they think you're doing? I know, my husband was like, are you having an affair? And I was like, I've been doing stand-up comedy and he was like, are you sure you don't want to just go and have an affair instead? So how did you do that? Talk us through that, transition into... So it's five minutes of open spots is basically an affair, isn't it?

Starting point is 00:10:48 I mean, you do feel really dirty and humiliated and you wake up with the, you do the walk of shame on the way home. Now that I'm getting to know comedians that have children, I absolutely relish every time they're like, how did you do it, Esther? Like, how did you do it? So was you teach in full-time as well? No, I was on maternity leave. I went back to tea leave. I went back to tea, I went back to the open mics, so you can't just turn up and do your spot and leave. You've got to stay the whole time, you've got to bring

Starting point is 00:11:26 a friend. Oh my God. So I was getting home at like one in the morning and then I was up, you know, still breastfeeding, God knows what. Those first secret gigs, how are you doing that I was meeting my friend in town for coffee. At night? At night. I eventually told my husband, but we kept it a secret from the rest of the family because it would not be approved. My mother-in-law was like, mothers don't do this. No husband would put up with this.

Starting point is 00:12:00 Yeah, stop it. So how long was it a secret from your husband? No, I kept it a secret from my husband for about three weeks. Yeah, you can't keep that up for longer than that. It's weird. No. I was in about, I just said it was a little, I just said it was a course. I said I'm doing a writing course just to engage me mentally and he was like, thinne. I was like, oh, I'm just doing this course course. I was doing thau course. Cco. thau course. thau. thso. the course. the course. C. th. I'm just a c. I'm just a c. I'm just a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing, I was, I was, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just a writing, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just a writing a writing, I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing a writing, I'm a writing, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just a writing, a writing, a writing, a writing, a writing course, a writing, a sorry, what are you doing? And then I was like, oh, I'm just doing this course. But basically you're hanging around in pubs, waiting to do stand-up.

Starting point is 00:12:30 Like a freak. And then the first time I went on stage, I came off and threw up and I just didn't stop throwing up. I throw up all the way. I don't understand what's going on with you. They stop it. When I say it out loud, I'm like, oh my God. So you just, when you got home, you was being sick as well. I got, I literally threw up about three times on the way home, just the adrenaline. Because I'd never done it before. How had it gone?

Starting point is 00:12:56 Had it gone well? Yeah, thank God. Yeah, all the way home. But it happened to me once, I did a TV warm-up that was so stressful, they'd sort you out at a car home. But I was so worked up and stressed and addrending. I felt really sick. So I was a big traffic jam. So I said, and I was like a big traffic jam.

Starting point is 00:13:12 So I said, and I was like, I'd got out and I really up to this skip and so I've been sick in the skip. But because when the traffic was moving slowly, the cab driver pulled up alongside me, and you're all right. I went, yeah! I was being sick and a skip. It's not good for your body, is it? Open mics, Esther. And you've just had a baby, only five months earlier. And you're being sick in a pub toilet. Yeah, I know, I'm just there vomiting. Vagina between my knees. Just like, what am I doing?

Starting point is 00:13:45 What am I doing? Honestly. I don't know, yeah, I don't know what possessed me. But I'm glad I did it. When did you leave your job, full-time job? Just before the pandemic, because that was really well-timed. I also had a lot of guilt because people were just like, what are you doing? So I was determined that it wasn't going to impact them. So I would literally just have to be awake 24 hours at.

Starting point is 00:14:10 I was talking to another comic about this and they were going, but when did you write? When did you write? And I said, what I'd do is I dropped and I wouldn't write I would record so I'd just be walking around because if he if the buggy was being pushed then he would sleep and then I just record ideas for stand up and then re-record it and re-record it and that's how I wrote because I couldn't sit down and write because obviously had a baby so I just used to during his nap time to the to the to the the the nap the the the to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to the to the to the the to the to to the the to the the to to to the the to to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theybukewoooooooooooo' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the there's been two years of no gigging, like because of the pandemic. To go from zero of zero gigs to being on live of the Apollo, which you've done and you smashed it, that is an impossible time frame without the fact that you had a newborn baby

Starting point is 00:14:56 and a toddler. It's incredible. Yeah, but I'm not a dad though. So was your husband working full-time at this point as well? Yeah. I don't understand how this works, Esther. Where's the time? Yeah. How many gigs a week were you doing?

Starting point is 00:15:14 Did you take the kids with you? I had to take them to Edinburgh. Honestly, there were people that didn't know I had children. I remember what I was doing my first Edinburgh, thaphapapapapapapapapapemememememememememem, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, th, th, I, th, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, tha, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, I was doing, thi, thi, th, I was th, I was th, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, I was, I was, I was, I was tho, I was tho, I was th. I was th. th. th, I was doing, I was doing, th. th. th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thii. thiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th double buggy and I'm just like walking up the real mar. And Sindhu V just walked out of a cafe and just went, whose babies are those? And I was like, they're mine? And she was like, what do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you have?

Starting point is 00:15:37 Those? Also, because I don't look like my children, so it did look like I just stole them. You don't look like a very blonde babies. My son, I look, my son looks a little bit more Mediterranean, but my daughter is incredibly blonde. So it does look like, so people often thought I was just the child minder. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:02 This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nispresso. Discover a world of possibilities. With or without milk. Visit Nespresso.C.A. to learn more, or an espresso boutique near you. What does Possible sound like for your business?

Starting point is 00:16:26 It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions of Live. Visit Amex. S.C.S. to Edibermah with you? Oh, he did, but you hated it.

Starting point is 00:16:44 I mean, it's rubbish, bring in your your, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to speak, to speak, to speak, too, to speak, too, to speak, to Edinburgh with you? Oh he did, but he hated it. I mean it's rubbish bringing you, you stop to speak to people every five minutes. They're just loing around. The kids hated it. Yeah, you're paying to, losing money. Yeah, the amount of rubbish you have to take them to see. Like I was taking them to see stuff paying like 50 quid for four of us and you're watching some hungover student in the pleasant courtyard with a sock on his hand going hello I'm Mr. Puppet and you're thinking what am I watching? This is absolute nonsense what a load of and the kids think it's shit and it's like oh it's rubbish. And the money you spent you could have

Starting point is 00:17:16 gone to Disney in Florida. I know and the kids like this it's raining, it's boring, the kids hate it. So what was how did did? how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how? how? how? how? How their? How? How? How? How? How? How? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their. It's. It's. It's like. It's like, their. It's like, their. It's. It's. It's. It's. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. And. And. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. It's. It's. It's raining it's boring the kids hate it. So what was it how did the conversation go with your partner then going look look I'm doing these gigs they're going well and I want to go to Edinburgh and then you go to Edinburgh and you're like I'm just going to take all our savings and because mom really wants to be a performance artist it's like it's so not okay. And also it's like that kind of thing like when you're up the baby the baby the baby the baby that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like I'm that's like I'm that's like I's like I's like I's like I's like I I's like I I I's like I I I I I I I I I's like I I I I I I I I I I I's like I I I I I I I I's like I that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind that kind. that kind that kind. that kind that kind. that kind of like. that kind. that kind. that kind. that kind. th. that kind. th. that kind. th. that kind that kind of like like like. that kind that kind of like. that kind of thing of like when you are the baby's only five months old, the hormones in your body are still going crazy because you just had a but so there is an argument to go are you sure you really want to do this or is this sort of like a kickback to your life changing you've got the two kids now and it's sort of like a semi like early midlife crisis because that is a fair point to bring up isn't it to have that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a like should we just strap her down and inject her with valium? And I feel like that was the conversation my family were kind of having. It was a little bit like... And also because it's not like,

Starting point is 00:18:17 you speak to a lot of comedians and they've come from that kind, you know, especially when I started like so many people came from performance art backgrounds or they had, you know, they'd worked in the industry before or they'd been runners, they had an interest. But for me, it was literally just like I came home one day and was like, I'm gonna be, I don't know, a tightrope walker. It was like the weirdest thing. So you've not performed before then and stuff, nothing like that. No, no. And then we've got quite a close-knit family and everyone's just really conventional and they're just like, what? What are you doing?

Starting point is 00:18:49 No? Stop it. So it wasn't like this big like, oh, she's always dreamed of this issue? She just popped up. No. No. You were just like, are you sure? But deep down did you want to not say it out loud or was it, was it a bit of an awakening for you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thee. the. theea. thi. thi. thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. was it a bit of an awakening for you as well, like, at that stage? I never thought in a million years I could do this, not in a million, million years I could do it. So it was a real bolt from the blue. It really was. It's been a really bizarre chain of events. So what's it like now, though, because you've obviously proved that you were right. You the the the the the biggest, you know, you know, you know, you've the biggest, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, the the the their, their, their, th. tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th thou. th th th th thou-I. th th thou. the. the. the. th's it like now though because you've obviously proved that you were right you know you've been on the biggest you know there's

Starting point is 00:19:27 lot of live the Apollo is the biggest show in the country to go on and do comedy and is it a bit more like to the mother-in-law? See I told you? I'm just the mother-in-law is like everyone to be like oh my God yeah the family were like are you done now? Is that it now? Got it out your system? So I feel like there is nothing I can do to win them over. So you said like you weren't sleeping so there was a period where I had nausea for a year and I kept going to the doctor going this nausea is just not stopping and eventually the

Starting point is 00:20:09 doctor was like I think it's exhaustion I was like oh yeah yeah because I just didn't sleep. So taught me through like your average day if you're teaching, gigging and parenting. I did a gig once on four four pro pluses and a red ball just to start right. And then what's it like when you got back from the gig at like 11? Yeah you get back from a gig at 11 and then you would be up obviously in the night. Yeah, like maybe a couple of times. So I'd probably get like four, five hours a night and then I'd get up, go to work. So you obviously you'd get up and then get the kids ready and then drop kids at childminders and God knows

Starting point is 00:20:50 what and then you go to work. Sometimes my in-laws would stay here. They did that for a little while and then they'd look after the kids in the day so that would be a lot of help. I mean I wouldn't be able to do it then with them. Because because because because because because because because because because because because because because they because because they. Because they. Because they. Because they. Because they. Because they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they're not they're not their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I their. I their. I. I'd their. I'd their. I. I'd their. I'd. I'd. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. mean, bless them. They, I mean, I wouldn't be able to do it then with them. Yeah, because they're not even at school at that age, are they? No, my daughter was at preschool and then, yeah, and then I worked for a little while at University of East London and they had a nursery there so I could take my son in with him, in with me and then he would go to the daycare center and their.. and their. and their. and their. And then. And then. And then their. And then their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. And their. And their. And their. And their. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. And to. And to. And their. And their. And their their their their their their. And then, yeah, and then you'd come back and then get the kids ready for, you know, feed them and all the rest of it, and then you'd be out the door. But there was a couple of times when my kids would like have that post in a meltdown. And I'd have to go to a gig and then they'd be like, you know, and you'd be like, you know, like, you'd have their to pull........ And their. And their. And their. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, and their. And, and, and, like, like, like, and, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and then, and then, and then, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and then, and then, and then, like, and then, like, and then, like, and then. And, like, like, like, like, like, and. And, like, and. And, like, and. And, like, like, like, and. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their. And. And. And. And. And. And. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. Because it's not like now I imagine it's different and like, you know, when you're more established and you're getting paid work,

Starting point is 00:21:47 it's like, okay, you're on at 9 o'clock, get there at 8.30, and then at 20 past 9, you can go home. So you're only literally popping out for an hour you and then they pull like some gigs I used to do, they pull a name out of a hat so you could be going on at afternoon at night so you're there for six hours so five minutes five minutes to stand up and you spent five hours waiting. Yeah, you would have to be there for seven hours. Yeah so oh my God it makes it almost impossible to do really really. I know it was it was really intense. And when did you quit being a teacher then and did it make it all a lot easier? Oh God yeah I became the world's worst teacher like I'd walk into the classroom the kids like what we're doing today and I'm like just shut up and don't talk to me for now I became

Starting point is 00:22:38 terrible. We did a lot of a lot of essay writing in silence while I would write my set and they would write essays. But it was getting to point I remember doing like gigs abroad and I would like fly in in the morning to like city airport and then go straight to work or do like Cardiff Glee and then get a train at 4 a.m. and go straight to school. Oh my God. Yeah. Wow. What an in do you look back and go what was that period of my life? Because you must have all these photos of you with your kids in that point. And you must just have been like a zombie at this point? Did behind the eyes? No, I think it made me a better parent. I'll be honest with you. Do you? Yeah. How, in what sense? Yeah? I feel like it just made me more animated. I just felt a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho that th that that that tho tho tho tho tho th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do the. Do the. Do to to the. to to the. to that that that that to that that that that that. that th Yeah. I feel like it just made me more animated.

Starting point is 00:23:25 I just felt a lot more in touch with my kid. I think it's made me a lot closer to my children. It's made me a much better parent. Which is enjoying yourself more and stuff, you know, you feel more alive. Yeah, when you're enjoying yourself more, I mean, yeah, the tiredness doesn't matter because you're doing it and it just made me a lot more more more more more more more, things that you're not even conscious of. So you might feel frustrated because of all sorts of external reasons, it's not just the tiredness so that the kids are doing your head in, but when you're actually fulfilled mentally, it makes it a lot easier to be a lot more tolerant.

Starting point is 00:23:58 I mean, I say that, I shout all the time still, but it's just like white noise to them now they're just barking in a corner it doesn't matter like just ignore it but I used to actually feel quite frustrated when I was just with the children I mean my son was only five months I say that as if I was doing it for years I was like literally two weeks into it going not for me well it's quite a good that you did it then though because as they get older they have their own social life. When they're five months, they've got nowhere to be. But now, like with kids school parties and gymnastics or swimming club or whatever it is. It's non-stop.

Starting point is 00:24:32 When did that happen? We don't have that as kids. I know, when did we got to do tiny Kardashian like we've got to get back she's got that in I know and the amount of stuff they do and it's really interesting like my daughter will be like oh my god can I do Mandarin dance gymnastics and I'm like what where is that? Who's doing that? Why is that a thing? It's not even just normal stuff? They're like oh my god I really want to do, I don't know, well-being and, you know, mindfulness, Tai Chi. And I'm like, no. Yeah, my daughter's doing Taekwondo.

Starting point is 00:25:08 I can't even spell Taekwondo, never mind doing a class with it. My son might do anything. She's like, no, I'm not doing it. He won't even have friends over. Really? He's livid. So what does he do th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho? I tho? I tho? I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I thoes thoes thoes thoes tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th th th th tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I thi. I thi. I tho. I tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He went, oh God I don't like a house full of women. And I'm like, all right. So I was like, do you want have a mate over?

Starting point is 00:25:31 And he just looked at me absolutely furious and he went, you know I like my wind down time. I was like, okay. That ate, that eight. He's livid. How old is he the eight-year-old or the six-year-old?. he. six. This is a boy who likes to have a bath bomb and listen to a bit of Frank Sinatra. Honestly, he's the funniest kid. How old is he? It's like a granddad. Bix! It's like a baughnit. It's like a cockney. He's like a cockney. Whenever he hears the siren, he's like, it's the coppers. So are you still, are you in East London then? Do you live in East London? Woodford, so Essex East London, yeah. Oh Essex Way, okay. And is your

Starting point is 00:26:14 husband Essex Way? No, he's from Hemel Hempstead. But so he's working full-time and you're working full-time as a comic now. So how do you how you split in the sort of the workload with the kids? I do all the day and then he does the evening but then everyone just goes on about how lucky I am that he's prepared to look after his own children. So is that coming from him or more family and friends? He does a lot of babysitting apparently. He does a lot of babysitting for you. Yeah. So is that coming from him or more family and friends? Oh not from him, not all. No. It was when I started stand up people were just like you're lucky you've got a husband like that. You're really lucky. And I'm like, why is he not lucky? Yeah. I mean we split it, you know. Now it's a lot more balance 50-50, but when I first started I did feel like I was doing like most of it and then he would do the evening stuff, but

Starting point is 00:27:12 like little things, like if I went away to gig, psychologically he still saw it as a try and their own, like, well, that's for you, that's you enjoying yourself. So even when I started it as a job. Do you know that's the thing about this job though? There is difficult, I'll throw around the words go to work a lot because I feel it paints it as like, as like it makes it look a lot more more of a job. But it's difficult to argue that it's a, do you know what I mean? There's a gray area when it comes. It's a the, I would come home and like literally I'd come home from a gig and literally they'd just be like the clothes going up the stairs leading to the bathroom, then the bath still filled with the bath water and the

Starting point is 00:27:54 toys there and then like nappies leading to the beds where the kids were sleeping and the kids are asleep in like Halloween costumes and my husband be like you're welcome. I'm just like I've now the like the like the like the like the like to like the to the to the to the the to to the the to the to to the the to the to the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to be their the the the their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the's c. things. things. things. things. things. things. things things things. thea. thea. thea. thea. the just like, I've now got to like essentially do a day's work of clearing up. Whereas now, honestly, like, we've really worked it out. So now it's pretty much when I'm in charge, I'm completely in charge and when he's in charge and he's in charge is completely in charge and we balance it out all 50-50. So it's a really, it's a really good I'm very fortunate you've got more control now though about of your diary where back in the day when you do first start you what everything's dictated by someone else so you know

Starting point is 00:28:30 he'll be going well when are you gonna be home you're like I don't know I'm. I don't know I'm not get on the gig. It could be seven days I'm gonna be seven days it could be a week I'm gonna to the the I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the five minutes at the cab. Yeah. Well yeah, because Lou's like that with me when I say I'm going to work and like, like sometimes you know, I'm going to work and like, you know, I went to Jamaica with Romesh during a few same bolt and like, so fuck off. But then I'm like, if I got up to Middlesbrough on a Tuesday, I'm like, come on. That's work. That's work. The gig will be fine. The gig will the gig will be fine. The gig will be fine. The gig will be fine. The gig will be fine. The gig will be fine. The gig will be fine. But the gig will be fine. But the gig will be fine. But the gig will be fine. But it the gig will be fine. But it's the gig will be fine. But it's the gig will be fine. the gig will be fine. the gig will be fine. the gig will be fine. the gig will be fine. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig. the gig will the gig will the gig will the gig will be fine. the gig will be fine. the gig will be fine. the gig will be fine. the gig will be fine. But. But. But the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. We'll be fine. I'll be fine. We'll the the the the th. We'll the the the the the the the the the the the the gig will be fine, but it's a long way. I'm driving from Shelton to Lower Stoff, okay? That is work. That is not my time. And what's what you like is, what's your different parenting style then? Because you say what, when I'm in charge, when he's in charge, do you have a different approach in that sense? Yeah, so what happens is when I'm in charge I tell the kids off? their......... their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's, that's. that's. that's. that's work. that's work. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that have a different approach in that sense? Yeah so what happens is when I'm in charge I tell the kids off and then when he's in charge he screams you wait to your mom's hair and you're gonna be

Starting point is 00:29:30 in trouble and that's that's that's how that works. Like literally the moment I walk through the door it's like oh she's back now you're in for it now. It's like the oldest sibling. It's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like th. He's like th. He's th. He's he's he. He's he. He's he. He's he he he he he he he's he he's in he he's in he. He's in he. He's in he. He's in he he he he he's in he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's in he's in the th. He's in th. He's in the th. He's in th. He's in the th th th th th th the he's in he's in he's in he he he I've got my dad with me as well. So it's a lot of mental energy in this house. There's a lot of craziness, yes. So my dad is a 76-year-old Middle Eastern man who just screams at the children all the time. That's again like white noise to them. And then my husband's just this long suffering, you know, very kind of conventional, very calm, but my dad will just constantly threaten the children which really winds them up as well.

Starting point is 00:30:09 Right, so does your dad clash with your husband about it then? My husband's a bit like, sorry, when did it become that I was going to be married to your dad? Like I didn't, that's not why you're out a lot. It's a the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. th my husband's, I know this is honestly, this is how long suffering my husband is. It was my husband's birthday and on his birthday, he had to take my dad to hospital to have a prostitutes. Was you with the kids or are you working? I was working so my in-laws were with the children. My husband was texted me going, I just want to say th. th. to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say their to say to say to say their their to say their the with the children my husband's text me going I just want to say I'm having a really nice time your dad's gown has opened three times People are really confused as to what my relationship is with this man

Starting point is 00:31:06 Can he can he do childcare? Is he helpful in that way your dad or is he sort of a bit too old? He is. He is mental. Yeah, no, he's brilliant. He's been with the kids. All the grandparents are actually. I'm really fortunate. And I've got to say, like, I go on about how hard it was and stuff. There are people that don't have grandparents helping.

Starting point is 00:31:18 Yeah. hats off to them or single parents how do they do it? Because I've had like my in-laws, my parents, they're really involved and that's the only way I could do it. Yeah, that's the only way I could do it, and my dad will like overlap if I've got to go to a gig and my husband's not finished work yet, and my dad can sit with them for an hour or whatever and as they get older it gets easier because they can as long as she was just an adult in the house. And what are their parenting techniques like? How much does your parenting overlap with your 76-year-old Middle Eastern dad? Yeah, has he got old school ways of parenting? Yeah, I took a photo the other day because he walks to school with us every single day,

Starting point is 00:31:57 which essentially is really stressful for me, because my dad will just march into traffic. My dad just rants. So he doesn't have like that thing of internal dialogue, everything's just external. So we'll just be walking to school while he's scre- and he swears all the time and the kids are now aware that they can't swear but he just swerveh. So he'll rant to school and he'll just rant. And you're like there are other parents walking their kids to school. Can you just to thr-and their their just their their just their their just their their just their their their just be just be just be just be just be just be just be just their their their their their their their their their screasing their screeing. And he'll just their screasing to to just to just scoom. And he'll just screeing. And he'll just screeing. And he'll just to just to just to to their s. And he'll just scrying their s. And he's scrying their s. And he's scrying their scrying their scrying their s. And he's sc. And he's sc. And he's their their s. And he's their their their s. And he's their s. their their their s. their s. their s. their their s. their their their their their to just sco. to to to to to their their their their their s. their sco. th way to school and just marching into traffic. And then you've got two kids on scooters who are just like, so it's like herding geese all the way to school. You're like like grabbing one and grabbing the other and just like, right, can we all just try and stay in one unit? It's a very bizarre combination of people walking to school every morning.

Starting point is 00:32:35 Can he not take him in both in. I get nervous about him just marching them into traffic but also I kind of feel a little bit like I should do it. Yeah, you know like sometimes if I'm you know I just feel like I should do it I should kind of take them in so yeah. Because at my school there's some some grandparents that bring me in every day because they lived near to the to the kids and stuff sometimes I the end of a teu-tha the end the end the end the end the end the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their te so so so so te. tea tea tea tea tea tea tea tea tea tea to to to to to to to to to to their to their te te look fucked like little eight year old giving like there were some parents that went away on holiday I think they went away for a week and then their grandparents came in and lived with the kids for a week and looked them off by the Friday he looks so nap my mom and dad always mom and dad are like corpses when they come like if we go away for two nights they're like uh and even the teacher went to call your mom to their to their their their their their their their their to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their their to to their their to to their to to to to to to to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. I toe. their gro. their grandparents. I their gro'' g. their grandparents. I their g. their g. tired the other week when she dropped them off. My mom and dad get up at 11 a.m. if they're left on their own so they're up at six in mine.

Starting point is 00:33:27 It is a lot for grandparents. You forget how hard little ones are. Like it is like you just got to wrestle them. It's like having chimpanzees on acid isn't it? Yeah. I'm dreading being a grand parent in that sense. The thought of like me me at th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that is that is that is that is that is that is a that is a th. th. th. th. that is a that is a lot that is a lot th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is a th. It is a th. It is a th. It is a th. It is a th. It is a th. It is a th. It is a th. It is a th. It is th. It is a th. It is a th. It is a th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. thea. the. the. two days. My dad has got to a point now where he just, he can't even be bothered to like, he would just be like, I can't be, but I'm not going to get up and smack you because I can't be bothered. I mean, I don't do smacking and obviously that's a very old school thing. So he just says to my kids, he just goes, I'm just going to put to put to put to put to put to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to put my to run towards it. And they think it's really good fun. So were you born here or born in the Middle East, Esther? No, I was born in Essex. He moved here. He moved here. Yeah. And so do you have a different upbringing though? Was his parenting different then to like your schoolmates in Essex or was he as the same as all

Starting point is 00:34:18 the other dad? Yeah. It was really embarrassing. Yeah. It was really embarrassing. Yeah, oh my god yeah, he'd be really, he'd be really militant. I remember he would stand, God love him, but he would just do things like, to me I was just so used to it but my friends would just be like, like he sometimes if I was doing my homework, he'd stand over me with a crowbar, just like that. That's in a joky way though. Kind of. Kind of. I was talking about the fact that my husband's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he would he he he he would he would he would he would he would he he he he he he he he he he he he he he would he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. I he. I would he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he in a joky way. Kind of. Kind of. I was talking about the fact that my husband's really good at waking up the children. He's really, he does it. He's got this little song and he wakes them up and he's so sweet the way he wakes them up.

Starting point is 00:34:55 And he was like, oh I got it from my mom because that's how she used to wake wake to wake me up to wake me up to wake me up to wake me up to wake me up to wake me up to wake me up to wake me up to wake me up to wake just used to walk into our room and throw a cup of water in our face. Oh my God. It was like the army. You had one warning. Imagine doing that now? That is not allowed, isn't it? Boomer, that's classic boomer parenting. I know. He just used to get one warning, he'd be like, Mr. and if I didn't get up, the weird thing I've took thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin, I thin, I thin, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he thi, he thi, he's just just just just, he's just, he's just thi, he's just their, he's just their, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's their, he's their, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their weird thing I've took away from that though is that I can't believe some people have to wake up their kids. My I've never woke mine up they've always woke us up. I've never woken my child up. I'm telling you for

Starting point is 00:35:32 school I have to drag him I have to drag my son out of bed by his feet and he crawls back in and I'm wrestling the younger one this is the one who likes his. me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. The young. The young. The young. The young. The young. The young. The young. The young. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The one. The. The. The. The. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. I. Now. I. Now. I. I. I. Now. the. I. the. I. I. This is is the. This is the. This is the.this is the one who likes his meat time. Oh no, ours are up at six, latest, every day. No, but the moment it's not school, if it was half-term or something, boom, they're up. What time you're waking him up for school? They have to get up at seven. I've never, except holidays, I've never had to wake my child. Really? Really? Well, occasionally when, you go when you go th you you you you you you napping for too long, is that going to have an impact in the evening?

Starting point is 00:36:06 That kind of situation, but all that crap. But like, never the morning have I thought, occasionally you'd wake them by mistake when you're worried they were dead because they were still asleep. Do you know that situation? Because they'd slept. Yeah, but isn't sleep deprivation the worst? I can handle anything, but it's the sleep is so hard. That is the hardest thing. Were they good or bad sleepers when they were babies? My son was good, but I think that's probably

Starting point is 00:36:35 because he was the second one you just forgot about him quite a lot. Yeah, because I already had a baby so I was just like, oh there's another one now. So we'll just have to sort himself out. Did your husband do a creative job or anything like that? No, no, he works in IT. He's a normal person. He's a normal person. Poor bloat, just a normal blow just want to go to his nine to five. Yeah, he's like, why didn't I marry someone called Becky? He's like, why th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thi thi. Why thi. Why thi? Why thin thi, why thi thi he's he's thi, he wo he's he's he's he's like, he's like, he's heat he's heat he's heat he's heat he heat he heat he heat he heat he heat he heat he heat he he. No, he. No he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he w. He's he wo he wo he he wo he he he. He's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. he wo. he works. he's he wo he works he works he he works he. No. No, he's he heto bottomless brunch once every three months and that's it. I know, it's like what am I doing?

Starting point is 00:37:07 I'm now, I've got this old Arab man who's just wandering around his pants screaming at me. I've got to take him for prostate check cards. So I've got this wife who's slagging me off on stage. She's not what I signed up for. I've got what I signed up for tho tho. I've got this th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho this tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th tho th tho th tho tho tho- I've got tho tho- I've got th tho- I've got tho- I've got tho- I've got th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho the tho' tho' tho' to tho' to to to tho' to to to to th I think it's easier being a mom. I've gone full circle. Can we dig down into this this son that's the son that listens to Frank Sinatra and has a bathroom likes to unwind? What point did that begin? Like what did you go this is a different personality type to my daughter? Like how early was that? I don't know when he's somebody but he's a really quirky little lad? He's really, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho tho tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I've th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, I've th, I've th th, I've th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, I've tho, I've tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho tho thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tho tho, tho, personality type to my daughter. Like, how early was that? I don't know when he's sunny, but he's a really quirky little lad. He's really funny, he really makes me laugh.

Starting point is 00:37:52 They had World Book Day, didn't they, recently? Which we all remembered 45 minutes before World Book Day, and it was just like, and I was thinking, like, what am I going, and I said to my son, you've got to just wear something in a fancy dress box. And he was like, I ain't doing it. I'm not wearing it. He was going, I'm going to school when my school clothes,

Starting point is 00:38:09 I'm not dressing up in fancy dress. And I was like, no, don't do that, because it makes me look like, asked me what I am I'll just I'm an author and I was like no no just just be something and then he'd seen a book on the bookshelf and he went I'll just and he looked at the bookshelf and he went I'll just sound Jeffrey Archer and I was like you're not going six. That's Jeffrey Archer the prison scrubs for a great joggers. What did your daughterilda. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one.

Starting point is 00:38:46 But she takes school really seriously and she doesn't like to let anyone down. She's really honest. So it's just like really got to commit 100% to this. They're very different. They're such different. It's funny though, isn't it? to the point that they're hysterical and laughing and crying and you cannot get involved whatsoever and they don't listen to you because they're in this frenzy of absolute euphoria or they're absolutely kicking the shit out of each other. And there is no in between.

Starting point is 00:39:13 Actual fighting? Yeah. Who's getting the better of it? She'll run a book? Live stream it. Ten quid on the girl. Oh my god, she just lets, like he'll really lay into her and she'll just kind of be like, oh and I, you know, I was so happy one time when he came storing to the kitchen, he was like, she has just punched me so hard and I was like, oh, thank God.

Starting point is 00:39:34 Like, don't call him. You like, we can't smack our kids. No. So you know when you're like, sometimes they do just beat and slap. And I'm like, he needs and slap. And I'm glad she's done it. Because I can't do it. I can only intervene so often. But she turned around and she was like, enough and clumped him.

Starting point is 00:39:54 And I was like, good. Good, you deserve it. like you're a too soft on them. No, that's what annoys me. If I lose my temper, he'll step in and be like, you know, come on, you need to calm down. I'm like, where was that attitude when I was growing up? You watched that when you had the crowbar? Did you think they get softer as they get older? Or do you think they were basically in a high level of stress with work and look back and probably think, yeah I was too harsh on them. Yeah, that's the joy of being a grandparent. Yeah, you can just go out make up for all the, it also actually got more time. Yeah. But grandparents are so soft on them. And they'll always be like, oh, that's really harsh or, you know, they think that you should kind of devote all your time to they they they they they they the they th. you. you. you. they they they they they they they they they they th. You know, you. You know, you. You know, you. You know, you. You know, you thi. You know, you thi. You know, you thi, you know, you know, you thi, you know, you know, you know, you know, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you can thi, you can thi, you can thi. You can thi. You can thi. You can thi. You can th. You can th. You can th. You can th. You can th. You can th. You can th. You can thi. You can thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. You know, thin. You know, thin. You thin. You know, thin. You can just thin. You know, you thin. You can just thi. You can just thi. You can th your time to them. But when they were, you know, when they had kids and they were working and stuff. You got by, you know, it didn't affect you, did it?

Starting point is 00:40:48 You just sort of had an extreme breakdown after the birth of your second child threw itself into the world of comedy to force yourself to be physically sick, yeah, it's emotionally and no, it's all right, isn't it? You've got microphone and some headphones. I got woken up by, you know, ice bucket challenge most mornings. But yeah, it was fine. Tightly didn't affect me. I don't know if your parents do this. You know, it's like, it doesn't matter how much you establish yourself. The moment you're back with your parents, you just completely revert to being seen as 14 still. Yeah, so my dad still still still to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. It that's. It that's. It that's. It that's. It that's. It that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's still. So my dad still will like slap me around the head in public. Fucking out! Which really annoys me. I can imagine it annoys you. I think you're right to be annoyed.

Starting point is 00:41:34 He'll do it actually even if there's another like he's so oblivious as well. So a friend of mine was around my house. He didn't even clock that that wasn't me. So he walks into the house, slaps around the head and goes, what's for dinner? And my friend just turned around and was like, I don't know. And that's not okay. And I was like, Dad, you can't just slap women women, but you can't... I just walk into the house in your pants and slap a woman around the head and go, what's for dinner? That had it easy in the 70s, isn't they, men? What a life! That was okay then?

Starting point is 00:42:17 Oh my word. Not now. Quite rightly. Quite rightly, not now. So it's quite hard when you're trying to do like your feminist stuff on it, you know, my stuff on stage is all kind of very like feminist and all the rest of it and then I come home just get slack round the head what's for dinner and you're like, oh, I bet you're on toast. I know. My son's like, and I'll be taking my dinner upstairs in my drawing room after my bath, which you will draw for me mother.

Starting point is 00:42:50 Yeah, I think my relationship now with my kids yeah, it's definitely a lot a lot calmer. Yeah, now especially with stand up being as you say a bit easier because you can just go out and do your gig and then come home again and I know you're in a hotel room, Josh, but I hate it, I hate staying away. Yeah, I don't like it. You know when you do a weekend at the glee. And the th. Yeah. away. Yeah, I don't like it. You know, when you do a weekend at the glee? Yeah. And then you get a hotel. I'd go up, do my gig at the glee and then come back and then go back again the next night as to not stay in a hotel. Really? What is it?

Starting point is 00:43:16 You don't like being away from your kids? Or you just don't like being away from, but also? feel like I'm missing out on that day of just getting stuff done. Yes. And you know, and it's like, one's got ballet, one's got this. I just want to be involved that I've done a day of stuff. Otherwise, you just sit around the hotel room. No, I use the hotel room. I get all of my work stuff done. That's my, that's because I find it's so difficult to do that? Like this, for instance, it's like, oh, perfect time is when I'm in a hotel room because then I've got that exact downtime.

Starting point is 00:43:47 Yeah. Well, maybe you could just tour Monday to Friday when they're in school, and then you don't have to come back and do stuff. Yeah, maybe I could just tour Monday to Friday at 11 a.m. I know don't you want Friday and a Saturday off. That's what I want. Yeah, I tell you, if you, if I could choose a tour of matinees, it'd be incredible. Get there at two, knock on at four. But surely that's people are working Esther.

Starting point is 00:44:16 That's why we can't do it. Oh yeah. People have got normal jobs. Becky, Becky in the IT department. Well that brings us on to our last question, Esther, if there's one thing that your husband does that annoys you with his parenting and frustratation, if you listen back, he could act upon it and stop those ways. Is there anything, Esther that he does? He, so when I do go away and gig, he, the kids ask him to pretend to be me. Okay. And I feel like this is really creepy. But he does this impression of me for the children which they now love and they're like can you pretend to be mom and he's like okay which honestly makes me out to be like one of the domio poppet and it really does my

Starting point is 00:45:01 head in. Because when I was like what does it consist of like essentially this woman just like coming and being like oh your mama. And I'm like I don't not really sure. Because I do speak a little bit in Arabic and English with my kids but he does this in print because obviously he doesn't know Arabic so he just puts on this like foreign accent and does this impression me to the kids and it does just make me out to be like, it does just like like like like like like like like like like it like it like it like it like it like it like it like it this like it this like it this like it this like it this. it this. it this like it. it this. It this. It this like, it is like, it is like, it is like, it is like, it is like, it is like, it is like, it is like, it, it is like, it is like, it is like, it is like, it is like, it is like like like, it is like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like, it, it, it, it, it, like like like like like like like like like like like, like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, this. this. this. this. this. It. It. It's like, this. It's like, this. It's like, this, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it this. It's like, it this. It this. It this. It this. because obviously he doesn't know Arabic so he just puts on this like foreign accent and does this impression and me to the kids and it does just make me out to be like yeah this kind of a caricature of an old Italian lady so I'd like him to stop doing so you quite like so ideally that you want your dad to stop hitting you and your husband stopped doing racist impressions if all the men in my house could stop being really misogynistic and racist, that would be amazing.

Starting point is 00:45:45 It's nice to have a dream, isn't it? But like a pipe dream of a utopia, but you know. Oh, Esther, this has been absolutely brilliant. Thank you so much. It's so good. Thanks so much. Oh, thank you for having me. I think it's really inspiring as well to only moms and dads listening that are like, you know, I thiii, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, th a little bit sometimes when you first have a kid and you feel a bit lost and to have an example of what you've done is amazing so I think you should be really proud of that. Whatever is you want to do, if you're drawing, singing,

Starting point is 00:46:12 gigging, starting a company or whatever, just go for it because. Do something for yourself, yeah, definitely. And that I'll be a bad parent but actually it gives you that fulfillment which then you know spreads your energy in the positive way to your kids rather than being frustrated. I mean I'm still a terrible parent. Yeah yeah we've got that we've got that. Just not as bad as your dad that's the main thing. No exactly yeah it takes a few generations to get it right but anyway they're gonna be great. Esther. E they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It the. It the. Yeah. Yeah it th. Yeah it th. Yeah it th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It that th. It takes it takes. It takes. It takes. It takes. It takes. It takes. It takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes it takes takes takes takes ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta t it? They're going to be great. Esther, thank you so much. It's been brilliant. Thank you. Esther Manito, that one I'm going to say it, Josh, was one of my favorite episodes.

Starting point is 00:46:54 Straight into the Hall of Fame. Straight into the Tom Parry realms of Hall of Fame, that one, isn't it? Funny, which is always the main thing and interesting story. Sometimes you don't always get both, sometimes you get neither. How amazing is Estes the Mineta, that's her rise to live with Apollo is absolutely astronomical. She's hilarious and she's just going to get better and better. She's a real star in the making I think Estimato I think if that was the first time you've listened to you I don't think it'll be the last she's brilliant. She's brilliant. She's brilliant. She's brilliant. She's the the the following. She's brilliant. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the thr-I's the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thr. I thr. I's thr. I's thrown. I's thrown. I's thrown. I'll is. I'll thrueeeeeease. I'll thrueeease. I'll thr-I's thrown. I'll is absolutely. I'll is absolutely. media, is that what we say at this point, Rob? Yeah, she's on Instagram. Let's do the power of the pod. Let's send everyone over there. Everyone going to follow her on Instagram.

Starting point is 00:47:31 And she's watch her live at the Apollo. But yeah, brilliant estimate. So very inspiring as well, if you're listening to this and you feel a bitthink you become a better parent. It won't make you less caring or a worse parent. I think it can only, the happier you are, the happier your kids are in my experience. So put the oxygen mask on first, on the plane and in your life and then the kids will be happier. Oh, what lovely ending Rob? Oh, that was nice. that was nice. See you on Tuesday? See it on Tuesday. Bye.

Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP34: Esther Manito

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.