Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP35: Josh, I don't like the sound of your life...

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

S04 EP35: Josh, I don't like the sound of your life...More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks Rob + JoshBIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicum. Welcome to Parent in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with...

Can you see Rob Beckett? Rob Becket. Good, and can you see Josh Widdickham. Gosh, ridicule, sweetheart. Oh, that's Scottish but sounding South African at the start. Play the start again. Here we go. When you see. Rob, Bicket. Good. And can you see Josh Widdickon? No, it was Scottish all the way actually.

I'll retract that Josh. Scottish all the way. Josh Withakum, he we man. Robbicke. Do you know what? You've got an array of voices in it? You don't use them as much as you, you know what? That's how good you are up like it. I think I always thought that I couldn't do accents, but I'm getting better at him, actually.

I've got Yorkshire, I've got that large scost I can do Manchester's alright. Scrobi, I get a wee man. But normally it's quite an impressionist, but you just do large regions rather than single people. Yes, yeah, yeah, I do spit an image, but I, but I, but I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've that, I, I, I've that, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, I've that, I've that, I've, I've Elons, I say pie eaters. Because they eat pies, have you heard that? I think people from St. Ellen's or call people from Wiggins, pie eaters. Yeah, because I said, is it because they hate pie and they got the pie eaters? But they call them pie eaters. But everyone eats pies, don't they? Not like they do in St Helens St. Helense. told you. they're they're. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're th. th. P. they're they're they're they're people. Pied. Pied. Pied. Pied. Pied. Pied. Pied. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they. they. they. they told you about the Portsmouth Southampton names? Have we done this? No.

No. Well, I think it's like, they're called Skates or something? Skates? I think it's Skates, I think they're called Skates because they fuck the fish. They accused the people had sex with a fish. Well so basically Southampton are called scummers by Portsmouth but Southampton I think called Portsmouth skates because of all the Navy and a basically a skate is basically to describe naval sailors because that they accuse of a fucking fish and not any old fish because if if you look at a skate it's an easier fish to fuck if you

if that from a clearly this is not the start to the podcast we want but my argument because at least say make love to make love so okay so the skate fish is the easiest fish to make love to but my argument would be surely you don't need to call them skates surely fish fucker is a good enough insult because if you if I said someone said to meates, surely fish fucker is a good enough insult. Because if you, if I said, someone said to me, he's a fish fucke, I wouldn't go, hold up what fish? No, of course. Because like, if you're making love or shagging a fish,

I'm out. I'm not your mate, I'm done. It's not like, oh, he only does codd or ad hoc. Do you know, it's not like, oh, it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's, it's, it's, oh, oh, oh, it's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. thi. tho. tha. tho. th. th. tho. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. th skate and even for a fish it's unattractive. Like it's an unattractive fish. Yeah, yeah, I mean if you're gonna have sex of a fish, the skate isn't the... It wouldn't even be in my top ten. Oh God, yeah the poor old skate. Anyway, let's let's get back to that child yeah. That child we were talking about. Loved and Josh. that we were talking about. Lovely Scottish child who said our names at the start of this before. We went fish-fuck crazy.

Hi, Rob and Josh. This is Ewan and Chloe having a go at your intro, I think they mean. There are twins. Oh, we have got a second one. Mmm. Can you see Rob Bickett? Can you see Josh Witticket? And can you see Josh Wittakum? Josh Wittakum. Well done, sweet guy. I can see that at last day.

They seem nice. They're twins who very inconsiderately arrived on my birthday three and a half years ago. I'm not sure what you're referring to at the end unless it's nursery keyworker is actually listening to the podcast too. You never know. I only find your podcast a few months ago when doing some DIY and I'm so glad I did. It made me feel much better about my parenting and makes me realize that what my kids do or don't do is actually pretty normal. I've been making my way through the episode while painting the garden fence which is taking bloody ages. The neighbors may think I'm getting high off the fumes. I'm laughing. Keep forward to the book, lots of love Kirsten, Hubby Andrew, Ewan and Chloe from Lanarkshire. A bit of humble brag that, isn't it? Oh, painting the fence taken ages.

The thing is with three acres is you've got to fence it. I'll be honest with your Robin zone too, I can knock out painting a fence in 20 minutes. What you done to say, I painted the fence and the house, yeah. Just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thiay? I painted the fence and the house. Just one of those tiny little pots of paint people go up when they're making when they're painting lead figures, that kind of thing. That's all I need. Your house is like a bookmark, it's very long but narrow. Yeah, exactly. How are you, Josh? It's nice to talk to you. That's a pleasure, right? It's been a stressful few days tha few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few few tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoes. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. People. th talk to you. That's a pleasure, Rob. Oh, we're good.

It's a stressful few days, Rob. What's happened? Oh, it's just been, I'm burned out, Rob. Do you know what? What's happened? 24 hours ago, because I've been away. I've been doing four, I was in the north. Okay, you can't say like that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't mean it like that. Oh, what I mean is, or you was just there existing in the north. No, what I mean is, I was in the north. A lot of travelling. I was about to go. I hadn't finished my sentence. So, how long you got left there, another year? Oh, I'm on fire to the north because I am. This tour is still going. Oh, mate, I'm off to Blackpool later. You don't get more north than Blackpool.

So this tour, which started October 2019, is still going, which is fine. But I've, it doesn't, it doesn't make sense, does it? I've got too much on Rob, because I'm not meant to be still doing this tour. But it doesn't... Doesn't make sense, does it? The dates don't make sense. I've got too much on Rob, because I'm not meant to be still doing this tour. Do you know what I mean? But also as well, because normally when you book it a tour, it's logical. So you go to, you go to, say, you go Birmingham, then you go up to Leaul, then you go up to, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, to, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, to, to, to, to, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. to, B. to, B. to, B. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to the way up to Carlisle and then you go from Carlisle down to York and then to like Northampton and then back to London. So you're only ever doing an hour or two drive.

Yeah, exactly. And do you know what? They weren't a million miles from each other, but they were a million miles from my house. But because I've got our book deadline at the end of June. Yep. And I've got something in my diary for every day of June. Right, okay, the publishers do listen to this and the people buy in the book. So are you...

No, I know you're not the best salesman. So what I'm saying, Rob, is that I'm basically... The book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea, thea, th is that I'm taking priority obviously. Yeah, the book, right? Is that my book deadline is the end of fucking May is what I'm saying. Because once it's June, so basically I was in the North for five days. By the way, guys, my diary is planning out perfectly, so my offer the book is going to be excellent. So my house is going to be good, Rob. It's just my life that's awful. Okay, so let's get this straight. You're committing to the book. So the book's going to be great, but

your life's terrible. And I think as a business partner of yours, I think that's a good decision. What I'm saying is Rob, the last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last. The last. The last. The last. The last the last. The last the last. The last the last. the last the last the last the last the last the last the last thi. th. the last thi. Rob, I's thi. th. Rob, I's th. I's th. I. I. I's th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I. I's th. I's th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's just. It's th. It's just th. It's just th. It's the th getting in a car going to the gig, coming back to the hotel, going to bed, waking up at 8 a.m. I'm writing, getting up. That sounds like a fun job. Yeah, it is for the first two days. And then you find yourself going slowly insane. Because you know when you work in the day, you get the evening off. You get some time in the day to relaxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to bed to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed to bed the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theauiauia.kk. the the the the the to the to to the to to to to to to to the to to the evening off, you know when you're normally doing a gig, you get some time in the day to relax. But the moment you finish the writing, you get in the car to go to the gig, you go back to the hotel, you get in bed, you wake up, you start writing again. And you're like, I don't know who I am anymore. You're creative, man. You've been trafficked by the media media media media media media media media media media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. thi. I's. I's. to. to to get. to. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.. I...................................................................................fficked by the media world. And then I go, so the last one is in

Middlesbrough, Middlesbrown Hall. Oh mate, you were gonna, can I say something? No, no, I did it. I did Middlesbrough Town Hall? The last one? Yeah. It was more hot. It was so loud. Before 5 p.m. We got there at 4 because we'd been tuft out of our hotel. And also I needed a bit more time to do some writing in the dressing room, man. Nice dressing room, though. They put in a spread, didn't they?

Churperry balled. Oh, yes. And they knew as vegetarian so it was lovely. Ficking babba ganooch everywhere. But you're just watching you're just watching the pub called the Central. Yeah it's lively pub in Middlesbrough that and it. Well before 5 p.m. I'd seen at least 10 people smoking outside before 5 p.m. I'd seen someone pick up the bouncer a member of the public public and I'd also seen a woman crying before 5 p.m. Rob. Before 5 p.m. On a Wednesday. When I did Middle Shetanol it was a 22 degree day in like March weirdly for no reason and

the room was like a sauna and I said, Adam I, what is it really hot in here? Can we turn the heating off and it was on full, no no basis, sent your eating's on full until April and then it goes off until September. Oh well luckily I luckily I've been restcheduled to May Rock. Yeah because they knew about my pale complex. So then I did Middlesbrough. Yeah all the gigs were lovely. All the writing was fun on its own merits. Yeah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh................................................................... So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So. So, the. So. So, the. the. So. So. So, the. So. So. So, the. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. the All the writing was fun on its own merits. Yeah. Get in the car, get back, 3 a.m. Yeah. Oh, so you drove back from Middlesbrough? Yeah, because I needed to get back.

Because then you've got back and do some parenting, Josh. Got to get back, do some parenting, get up. He wakes up at 6 a thi. This was a I have three hours sleep. See the difficulty there is you've got in at three, you deserve the lying, but then... But I've been away for five days. I know, you can't go, now I'm going to have a full of lie here. That's just not on. I know, but your brain's going, well, I remember once that happened to me and I said to Lou, I had got in and like five, I'm to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I, I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've, th. I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I had got in like five in the morning and the baby woke up at R5 and she would, Rob, you've got back from traveling, you've got, you've got to get up.

And I went, Lou, if I do, I can't do this or I'll die. She went, oh you won't, I went, yes I will. We're just normal men. We're innocent men. It's so unfair on both parties. There's no one who deserves to get up in that situation, neither me nor rose. No, okay. But you have to. You have to. Then rare ray of sunlight.

I'll go on. Yeah, in my intense week. I go in, chanced my arm at just putting his dummy back in at 6 a.m. See if it'll make any difference. He feels very awake. He cries a bit as I leave and then he goes back to sleep Rob. Yeah. Till 815. Whoa. So you've almost doubled your sleep. Yeah, I hit a five hours. I'm walking on air. So then we get up, child care, then we have to go looking after children. The way you talk about it is like, they're not your kids.

No, why it is? Childcare, babysitting these two children that look a lot like me. Why it is because I feel so disconnected from it as well. I feel very guilty. Yeah, because my daughter isn't happy that I've been away away. No. I'm finding that at the moment because I've been going away a little bit. It's bad.

Because they're used to me from lockdown being home a lot. Yeah, exactly. And my lifestyle is probably away a couple of nights a week. And she plays up when I'm not there, and I think it's because she's pissed off that I'm not there. Yes, and she's trying to get attention. Because then Rose's attention can't go to both, like, the baby and her. It's not idea. I feel very bad about it.

But, because it's we have to go to do the walk around of the nursery that we're sending our son to in September to do a look around there. Oh God it's so stressful isn't it? We're just normal man. It's just it's just nothing's that bad in itself it's just everything is next to each other. So that was all good though, the nursery all good, school all good? Yeah, all good, go home. And then I've got 90 minutes to see my daughter and have a shower before I have to go to a corporate. So was he a passion project or more of a sort of...

He was a passion project. Do you know, one of the women's was a former contestant from the apprentice. Was he? Yeah. Who was that? Vincent something. Vincent from Apprentice 2011. You'd recognize him if you watch the Apprentice, which I do. Yeah, I don't really watch that. But actually I do in case Tom Allen don't present the spin-off show anymore.

Let's never talk yourself out of a job. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Definitely, yeah. . So, I. So, I. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So then I've got three hours downtime between the rehearsal and the corporate event. Oh yeah so you go up to London, you do the rehearsal and go through it and yeah. So go through the auto and stuff. For people don't know what that is it basically you're hosting an award to do at a hotel

function. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And so I've got three hours and then I think I can relax here a bit and then Rose phones me to say our cats ill and she's gonna whether, I'll start asking me whether she should take it to the vet. What's wrong with the cat? What's wrong with the car? She's just very, she's not in a good way. So Rose took her to the vet. She might she's had blood. to have blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood. She's the blood. She's the blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood blood. She's. She's. She's. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She's had blood. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's had blood blood. She's had blood. She. She's had blood. the blood. the blood. the blood. the blood. the blood. the blood. the blood. the blood. the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. She's had had had had had. She's had had had had. She's had. She's had had. She's had. She's had had. She's had. to. the. the. the three hours before the corporate event. Yeah, so talk to me through this, so how is that filling the three hours? Because once she's told you, what are you thinking, are you just worrying about the cat? Yeah, and also, yeah, it took about half an hour to try and work out, because Rose can't drive, obviously, the world shortage of, their own, thrown the moment. You can't get an Uber for love nor money near where we live. So it was just working out where she could go to the bed. She's got the two kids as well. Yeah all that kind of stuff. All of that stuff. Do you know what I mean? So then I get home at 11 p.m.

Oh no first I come off stage, look at my phone. Yeah they get your car home don't they. I've they get they the car to say, sorry we're going to be half an hour late. Yeah, at 11 p.m. But also you don't really want to be hanging around at the hotel because it's full of people. No, because it's full of people. Yeah, so I start walking through London looking for a black cab. Right. Carrying my suit. Find a black cab, get home. Read through a bit, try and calm down. Go to bed, don't really sleep very well. Wake up at six.

God, he's actually depressing. And then, before taking my daughter to nursery, we've got to the point where we have to, the three year, we have to renew our mortgage. So I had to fill in all the mortgage renew forms before taking my daughter to nursery. Nice little 7 a.m. job. I had no other time to do it. And then took my daughter to nursery. She was furious about a hair band.

There was no, no taxis. We got the bus. We went upstairs. I thought, oh my God. She pissed herself, and then I realized no, the bus stank of old piss. Oh, so she sat on the bus? In the piss? We sat upstairs on the bus and it stinks of piss. But you're not in the piss.

No, no, no, you know when a bus just stinks of piss. Josh, I don't like the sound of your life. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber one for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone

wants to be a student. Joined for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. So you got there, stinking a piss, then I treat myself to go into the gym.. to to to the to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin' their, th. thin' their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, t t t t together. together, together, together, together, together, together, together, thin. thin. thin. And, thin? Then I treat it myself to going to the gym. At least she won't be, you know, defined as the daughter of the bloke of the tele. She'll be just the girls that stinks of piss at school now. I thought you were going to say, yeah, the girl of the guy that broke down in tears on the Hack just brought up? Because I'm also not really getting to see my children during this. Do you know what I mean? It's just so functional.

Yes, of course. Yeah, because then whenever they come out of school, that's a difficulty. When they're in school, you don't see him that much, especially if you work in the evenings unless you get up in the morning, but you're so tired by then and you're doing months of bank statements using the NatWest app. 8 a.m. Yeah, that probably looks so fine. Did you actually take any information about the mortgage? No, but get this. So my daughter, there was a piece of paper that was kicking around that was like half a letter about our mortgage. Didn't have any specific details, but it, um, I just started started I she said can I draw it right

on something there's loads of paper everywhere with our signatures on I need to scan it's a mess and I found a bit of paper she could write on there was half a letter about the mortgage I can do it on your phone now just take a photo of it no if you use the notes app that someone told me this on your iPhone and then click on the camera it will just scan every piece of the th. th. Yeah that is great. That is my take-home tip. Oh so it's not all bad. Not all bad. Not all bad. Scan documents. Oh that's clever. Yeah it's good in it. So anyway. Yeah. I give her a piece of paper that's half an old letter about our mortgage. She starts drawing and writing on it. She draws a rainbow. She's, she's got really into art attack, Rob, the TV show. Oh really? Very on brand, loves nostalgia, your kids. Yeah, yeah, no, but she's so she's what, she's really into art that's like her obsession.

You know how stress to I get about work, Rob? No? Do you get stress? Ha ha ha ha ha? She's inherited this gene. So if the art goes wrong, she'll flip out. She's like really good at arts, we're trying to encourage it. But on the other side, she'll draw a giraffe, a sheep, and then she won't like the dog, and she'll go, the whole picture's ruined. and it's like, it's an absolute tightro. Is it like watching yourself? Yeah, it's not a million miles, Rob.

Oh God, because that's what you don't need is it when you're all a bit stressed and tired and vulnerable and you work yourself up and you see your kid do the same then you start blaming yourself, don't you? Well, think thi thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi's thi's thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thiii's thi now it's happening again! It's history repeating itself! Do you know what I said this morning Rob to her? That giraffe shit? Throwing the bin? She was she was angry because her ponytail was too loose right? Classic yeah absolutely classic. I just said I'm not mentally able to deal with this at the moment. You said that to her? Yeah she didn't really understand what I meant. Oh Josh, have you got any downtime coming up with you and the kids or Rose? Well, can I just say Rob, we're doing this 1115. I've got a, like, the reason I had to start on time

is because Rose is going out, so I'm looking after our son the moment this finishes. Right. then, also, we're, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we're, we're, th, th, th, th, th, th thi, I, I, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I mean, I mean, I mean, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th th th, th, th, th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi th really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really thi thi thi th th th th th th th th thin, I thin, I thin, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, that that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th reason I had to start on time is because Rose is going out, so I'm looking after our son at the moment this finishes. And also, I left the gym at 11 and then I looked at the app and it said it's 11, 15 minutes to get home. So then, I've got so little downtime, Rob, I then had to run home from the gym to make it in time for this. Well, where's Rose Goat? Have you got tonight off? I've got tonight off, Rob. Oh, that would be nice. I cannot, effing, wait. But I am.

I am what I would describe as mentally fragile at this point. Well, what you need is space. You need to do nothing. So don't do anything on your phone, thii. to to th. th. to th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. tho. to be. tho. thathe. tho. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. moment with your kids and then when they go to bed, treat yourself to a nice takeaway or something. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna watch, I'm gonna watch succession. That's too taxin, don't watch succession. Can I give you a tip? Watch Jackass 4.5 on Netflix. I do like to know what happens. Yeah, I know, but also, don't you want to see what happens when you use your penis as a Godzilla? Watch that, watch that another takeaway.

It'll be much more relaxing than succession. By the way, Rob, we've reached the point where we're going to have to move a couple of lamps into the shed for the next year and a half I think. The knickknacks are getting moved, are they? Yeah. What about all the other stuff on the glass coffee table in the front room? He's alright with that. That's still there. It's plastic. No, but like the cutlery on it? There's like cutlery on it and plates and bowls, have you moved there? No, no, no, it's just. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. their. the their. their. their. the the the the the the other. the other. the other. the other. the other. th. th. the other. the other. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the th. the th. the that. that. that. that. that. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th and knives, just knife blocks there now. He's not into knives yet. No, exactly. He's in East London, give him time. Yeah, lovely bit of business.

Sorry, I've whittled on, whittled on, I'm whittled on. No, don't worry. It's fine, mate. But genuinely, when I was running home, I thought I'm going to have a panic attack on the podcast here. Though you're just thin thin thin, I thin, I thin, I th. I thin, I th. I thin, I thin, I thi, I thin, I thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thi, I'm to to to to to to to to to to to thin'. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the the the the thin, the the the thin, the thin, the thin, thin, thin, thin, to to to talk about, it's gonna be alright, Josh, you've got some tie and off, what are you doing at the weekend? Oh, do you remember last summer when I was on the birthday party scene, Rob? Yeah, big time. Big time. We've got a five-year-old birthday tomorrow. and take the pressure of yourself. I need to get this perk to a level so that I'm not worrying about, so I'm not reading Chapter 16 during Glastonbury Festival.

Right, yeah, but Josh, I think you over, you over, there's editors for a reason to double check it all, you will go blind and you can't see the wood from the trees if you overthink it. So just get it down on paper and give it, to, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they, I I's, I's, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the space for things to be good, you can't do it all in one go, so just be kind to yourself and I think you over prepare don't you, you overwork. There is an element of me that doesn't know quite how to, just chill out and enjoy the experience. Yeah, exactly, well practice that and see how that goes. I'm sure it'll you? It needs to be right, Rob. No, it doesn't, not for you. That's why there's people and publishers that are their job is, grammar. I just can't, I can't submit something with a typo in it, Rob. Why not? I can. I know and that's why you're happy. It doesn't make it less interested than that. That's why you're happier that. That. That's that. That's that. It's that. It's that. It's the the the th. It's the the th. It's the the th. It's the the th. It's the th. That's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's why you're the the the the thi. It's why th. It's why that's why that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. It's why. It's why. It's why their the. It's why people people theuu. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's read, yeah? And then that goes to a publisher and then someone from the spelling and grammar police, they've recruited, will check it.

Susie Den? Suzy Den? I don't know, it's a little fact for people. She proofreads every book in existence. She's the only one who does it? You think she's looking at a dictionary on countdown, she's just actually getting some work done, didn't she? Because when you say, I've got to get this, you will go through every line to double check the spelling and grammar, won't you? You don't need to do that, Josh? No, I know.

No, delegate. Delegate? Okay. Do you want to hear about my week? Oh you fucking prick. Disney and Amparas? No, so it was a birthday, it's a birthday soon and I took her to Paris for one night to go, yeah to go shopping for a birthday present. Oh my word, look at you. I know, it's exciting, wasn't it?

Well basically, we couldn't really get the babysiters for like, and I can't get time for it to go for like two nights I thought why don't we just go for one night and you know go early and come back late because and that's essentially two nights and then it feels a lot more fun and you haven't got the stress of trying to find people to have the kids do you know yeah we went there and it was lovely and however they're all going back in there for their literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally... the the the a thousands of piscauses and I was like we have we have been so lucky to survive this because they're all going there for the champions league but it was great and it's so quick to get to Paris only two hours from London and you go you do the all the border checks at London and then when you get there you go you're like in the station you're in the middle of Paris. Oh my lovely lovely it was lovely. It was lovely so that was nice. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice. th. th. th. th. thi. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice. It was nice. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. So that was nice. So that was only one night. But I did though, I did take the, I've got loads of good little tips and then I'm going to tell you about my girls come to my, come to my gig for the first time. Oh yeah, I've seen the video footage. It's very sweet.

It's sweet, isn't it? A couple little tips. you can change it to British English. Oh that's good. So if you don't want them to be like, oh my god, there's like British versions. Other one, when you go on holiday with the kids, this is a bit late for you, but anyone else with a summer holiday coming up, don't worry about taking those of adapters for Spain or France, take a British extension lead with one adapter. Oh yeah, I'm on this one one, that one, that one, that one, that one, that one, that one, that one a classic that's a good tip I've never done it I've never done it and one adapt when you get four British plugs bang unbelievable with the

you can scound on your iPhone this is turning into one of the most useful podcasts ever existed oh it's unbelievable is it so much so much much information also my girls went back to gymnastics you know they do gymnastics on a Saturday when they can when they're not busy or whatever so they've had five thi and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. the. the. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. theeei. thei. thei. theeeei. thei. theeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. the gymnastics on a Saturday when they can, when we're not busy or whatever. So they've had five weeks off and they've been back for two weeks, two medals in two weeks. Another tenor, another tenor. So I don't know, they're either Olympic level athletes that are just destroying all these gymnastics tests or lose, got them on some sort of steroids.

Yeah, just so you know, Rob, if you lived in the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the Soviet the so the so the so the so the so the so the so the so the so the so them on some sort of steroids. Yeah, just so you know Rob, if you lived in the Soviet Union, those children would have been taken away from you by now and put on a 12 hour a day training program with their talents. It'll cost me about 15 grand a year but a medals they've got. I need someone to store them. I'm going to start getting like some big yellow storage box to put all the medals are? Oh, some bullshit. I've got no idea, but all I know is I've not seen do anything indoors that looks like gymnastics. Yeah. And you just think if you're getting medals for your gymnastics, you'd think you'd do a couple of, you know, like, I don't know what, rollie polies or just, and stands.

My daughter does, um, she does ballet with her best friend on a Friday afternoon. Parents aren't allowed in. So we don't really know what she's doing. Do you think that? They've sort of come out quite happy and they've been in their half an hour and I'm happy. They come out smiling with another invoice for five quid. Such a good gig for Rose. That Rose will go, I'll take her to ballet and you go, oh, was it? She goes, me and John, who's the dad of my daughter's best friend. Oh, we just went for a glass of wine while they were doing ballet, and then we went and

pick them up and it was, it's an absolutely unbelievable gig taking up to ballet. So Rose is just going out for a drink with John, this John guy? Who's John? What's he lo? What's he looked like? He listens to the podcast Rob. Yeah, because he texted me after, um, after I said he should pick up the Shays Long. Yeah. Do you remember when it said that last story? Yeah. What does he do, John?

He's happily married. I didn't ask that. I'd ask what he did. He's a graphic designer, okay. If only sort of walks from home quite a lot I imagine so he's quite present. So basically, little is like, well let this be a nice idea, right? They're coming to the Southend, which is about an hour from my house. Anyway, Friday afternoon to the Southend. They come out of school with the ump,

it's a two-hour drive. They're all kicking off in the house. I'm trying to get my stuff together because I'm doing the gig and then going down to Exeter after. So I'm trying to go to Exeter. Just going to Paris and back in two days is like, oh, it's nice having to commute a lot, isn't it? Just a quick announcement of Paris rather and oh yeah, what are you doing tonight? Well I'm going to Paris and eczeter and back and then having the morning breakfast in Paris? The last month has been a podcast about parenting by two men who've never seen their children. That's they, yeah, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, thu, just, just, thu, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, just, just, th. Just, just, th. Just, th. Just, just, just, thin, thin, th's thin, thin, thin, th's, thi. Just, thi. Just, thin, thin, th's, thin, th's, thi'sthem to South End. They wanted to come. But they, yeah, it was just carnage kicking out. I've never been so stressed trying to leave

a house because you get, I'm quite, I need to pack my bag and work out what I'm doing. But then I'm like, has everyone had a wee? Have you eaten? Have you got a jumper in case? in case it gets cold? Oh my God. thrown. We. We. We. We. We. We. We? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, going separately you told me. Well, no, we drove up together. Then I was getting picked up from South End to go to exit and then Lou drove home with the girls up at the interval. Before a two hour show and the four hour drive to exit, what you need is another two hours of driving your entire family to, got on the motorway and they fell asleep for an hour and it was most peaceful hour ever. And then actually it was quite sweet because we got them to the venue and they went on stage, and we were like talking into the mic and we had loads of photos.

So where did you do it in the show? So they came on to the sound check, I took, I just went and sat in the, the, the, the, to, the, to, the, the, to, to, to, the, the, the, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, the, the, took, took, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, went, to quiet I just found I just want to sat in the toilet for an hour because like no I was coming in and out of the dressing room but I just need to clear my edit and then I did the opening of the show because it's quite a big opening with like my name being announced and they saw that and then I had little seats set up from and the thinne they went off back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back half an hour because it's definitely not appropriate the content. And then I told you bring them back out at like quarter to nine when I finished for the first half and then I said I got to, I guess this is quite fun as well in the interval. In the interval I forgot there, I was meeting some charity ticket winners.

I'll give away tickets to charity sometimes meet and great where you, they do an auctione, they don't and they do they do they do they do, and they do, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're they're they, I, I, I, I, I, I've they, I've they, I've they, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've their. And I've their, I've. And I've, I've, I've. And I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I...... And I, I, I, I........ And I I, I I, I, I... And I, I, I. And, I've they. And, I've they. And, I've thed. And, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got, I've got theded. And I've got th th th th th th thed. And then anyway, so I met up with them and when I introduced my daughters, I said I've got two very special people here tonight, and then when I met the charity ticket winners, they went, we thought he was talking about us. Bless them. I thought I was going to get them up on stage. And I said, I said, got to two two two two two to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to two, two, to to to to to to to me to me their their two their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tode. toda. today, today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today, but it was really sweet, it was nice for them to see what I do. They understand then, do you think? Have they talked about it since? You haven't seen it?

Yeah, they're like, I don't know, actually. I don't know, actually, I don't know, just hang around with this guy called John going for wine. No, but I've seen her a lot, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've seen, I've seen her, I've seen her, I've seen her, I've seen her, I've seen her, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their, their, that, that, that, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, have tha, have tha, have that, have that, have that, have that, have their their their their their their their, their, their, their their their, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, they that, they've they've that, that, that, they that, that, they that, tha, tha, they that, they were so excited and they felt it was fun. And I'm really trying to make it clear to the girls, I want to go the way to work, it's because you sort of need to go to her money, but also I'm very lucky that I enjoy my job and you should enjoy your job and it shouldn't be like, oh no, I've got to go and be a big heartbreaking thing. It's good, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. It's good, th. It's good, to, thi, thi, thi, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm really really, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, th.. th. And, I'm, I'm, I'm not upset that I'm leaving you, not in a horrible way to my girls, but like, you know, it's fine. I'm not, because I used to feel a lot of guilt about my dad working so hard because he worked such long hours and I used to feel guilt like he was doing it just for us and when you're young,

you don't understand that, well, no, you're not really actually adding to the peace and quiet going that cabin when we were kicking off. So I'm trying to make it clear, but I think for your daughter she might really appreciate going to see one of your shows if you've got one near your house. Because she can see where you are and what you're doing and you enjoy it and then you enjoy it and then Rob and then the the bad news for her. Well the bad news for her the thatears to the tour is tooes tooes tooes tooes to to to to to to to the to to the to to to to to the to to to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show. the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the to the the'm not going to do stand up apart from the three gigs I've got booked in that I'm contractually obliged to do. Until, until autumn 2023. Really? You're going to have a year off standup? I'm going to have a year off standup. I haven't told my agent but I know she listens. That's what I've told myself. That's what I've what I've what I've what I've what I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I'm tho actually actually tho. tho. I'm th. I'm tho actually tho actually tho actually tho actually tho actually actually tho. I've tho. I've th. I'm actually actually actually actually actually actually th. I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm actually actually actually. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm actually. I'm actually. I'm that. I'm the. I'm to told. I'm told. I'm told. I'm told. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not thoeeat. I'm not thoe. I'm not tho. I'm th corporates I'll gobble them up. Do you want Josh Whitakum? Don't worry, Rob Beck is available. They're ready to go. They don't count. That doesn't go and stand-up, I'm still doing them. You'll still dish out some awards. Is that what you said? I'm really thought of it for a bit those ones and I just did loads. Yeah. When you and Romesh stopped doing award shows, my lifestyle was absolutely outrageous. I was like an Uber in East London. I couldn't move for work.

But now you've started doing them again. My diary is a bit empty, but anyway, yeah. I think it's good though to have a break from stand-up. And then when you do it again, you're really... Yeah, exactly. I need a break. When I'm going to have a break in 2020, when I'm, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the the the the the they. When I'm, yeah, in 2023, I'm gonna have a break from stand-up, because my tour finishes this November, and then we're doing the podcast tour, so we'll be focusing on that.

And then I'll- Exactly, I want to be fresh for the podcast tour role. Exactly, and then I'll be fresh again for 2024. Anyway, I was the fucking boring five-year plan. Oh, could I just tell tell tell tell tell tell their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. I tho. I tho. tho. I tha. I tha. I to their to be to be tho. I'm to be their their their to be their to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be fresh to be fresh to be fresh to be fresh to be fresh. I' to be fresh. I's to be fresh. I. I's to be fresh. I. I to be to be to be to be th. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toled and ran off and then I finished the half, went back stage they were absolutely buzzing with excitement, they gave him an ice cream from the interval, the venue, self-end, thank you very much. That'll be good back to you. The kid, it will want to. It will, I've sold out your venue, four nights in a row, yeah, we'll pay to three quid them for the ice cream if you're, I I I I I I I I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, thease, thease, thean, thean, their thean, thean, the thean, the the you left. And anyway, so I had this ice cream, it's had all the adrenaline of being on stage,

because it's 1700 and 100 people, it's quite a scary environment to go out in front of. And then they had the ice cream and then they had the ice creamed all the way home. And then I was like, right, I was like, all the way home. Oh my God. Oh my God. So poor Lou. That actually Lou had a harder second after me doing the gig was a piece of piss but I honestly I'd rather have done a five-hour gig and carried on until midnight than have to drive them to home. So poor old Lou did it but. Oh God that sounds. What's what you saying John? No I just had one one other thing I was gonna say ahead of next week Jubilee. Yeah I don't don't we know we know we know we they they they they they they they they they that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that that that that that that I'll that I'll that I'll that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll the the the the their I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll that. I'll th. I'll that. I'll th. I'll that. I'll that's that'silee or what I'm supposed to do? What's going on? They've got our daughters really into the Queen at nursery.

They love, same for me, they can't stop talking about the fucking Queen and singing Jubilee songs, wearing red, white and blue. It's like a cult. She loves the Queen now. She absolutely loves the, she's drawing the queen, she's asking questions about the queen, she, she, she, she, the queen, she, she, she, the queen, she, she, the queen, she, she, she, the the queen, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's asking, she's asking, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the their, their, their, the same, the same, sa, sa, sa, same, same, same, same, same, same, sa, same, same, sa, sa, same, sa, same, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, the same about the Queen. She wants to go and see Buckingham Palace. So her best friend went back to her parent's house after nursery and said, so when are we putting up our bunting? Oh, we haven't got any bunting. No, because of course we haven't got any bunting, because it's not 1977, Rob. We've got TikTok now. We don't care as much about street,

are you having a street party? Of course I'm fucking not, Rob. I'm punk rock till I die, mate. Yeah, no, our road's too busy for a street party. Be awful. Yeah, we've got 40 miles an our road. Yeah, yeah, certainly we've got 40 miles an road. RUM. Do you want a slice of cake? Bee! Bee! It's lovely, isn't it, th! We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we. I, we. I, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we've. I, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've like, we've got, we've like, we've got, we've got, we've got, we've got, we've like, we've like, we've like, we, rum, rum, rum, do you have a slice of cake? Bee, bee, bee, bee, bee, bee, bee, bee, bee, bee, bee, bee, b-ah!

Fack of you, ma'am, bleh! Oh, is it nice to community coming together? Guy, I felt like, um, I felt like, um, the guy out of police academy then. I know, you and your accent, you don't have any sound effects. I was open for a siren, do an ambulance, that's what you want. I don't know what that was, that was. That was Kenneth Williams, that's what that was. Right, here we go. I'll tell you what, to finish the episode, do you want a blast of celebrities

in small places? Yes. We love these. Okay, here we go. I was on a night out in Sheffield and saw Ronnie O'Sullivan in the spa buying pick a mix. It was just a few hours after you'd won the snooker championship at the crucible and got a 147,000. he won000 pounds. What a way to celebrate. Wow, I'd love to meet Ronnie O'Sullivan. Okay, here's one. I saw Marcel Desilie in Chaltern Asda, Chaltern tha, I've been there. I saw Marcelin' the tel-Ansi. Ah, that's a shit, Azda, no an out-of-context place. Scotty Pippin in the Bacon Isle of a supermarket, Ian Lovegrove. Right, I need a picture or some more information here. The Bacon Isle. The Bacon Isle, no, there's no Isle of Bacon. Were you in the

States or was he, I need to know whether he was in America or in the UK. Right, I got a couple of them. I saw vanilla ice standing at the airport in Acapoco from Maria Bring Pinder. You saw vanilla ice standing in airport at Acapulco? It sounds like a riddle. Oh, here we go. This is a good one. I saw Adam Woodya, Ian Bill from Eastenders at Disneyland when I was seven or eight, 97 to 98. So this is peak East enders in it? I asked for his autograph and as a child I kid. I'd his his his his his his their th you their th you th you thau th. And as a th. And as a th. And as a their th. And as a th. I their th. I their their their their their their their their their their th. I was their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was the the the the th. I was th. I was th. I was a th. I was the. I was a little. I was the the the the the the the the the the the. I was the. I was thea. I was thea. I was thea. I was th you not his first words were for fuck sake I get away from the UK for this shit Anyway I've got his autograph between Daffy Duck and Goofy I mean Don't go to one of the biggest tourist attractions near the UK barely I don't think you can go to Disneyland and go I'm safe from Brits here there won't be any Brits here will be fine but yeah yeah, but yeah that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's I I I I I I that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a they. I they. I they. I's a they. I's a they. I they. I'm they. I'm not the the the the that's a they. I's a that's a go to Disneyland and go, I'm safe from Brits here. There won't be any Brits here, we'll be fine.

But yeah, that's a good one. Right, we do small business shout-outs. Okay, I've got one here. Hey, we are family-run award-winning bakery, making pies, sausage rolls, afternoon teas, and much more. We are launching our Father's Day range this week and would love a small business shout-out and that is Piglets Pantry so if you go on Instagram they've only they're only on Instagram I think Piglets Pantry P. Ig. L E T. S P. A. N. T. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. t. t. t. to. the. tf. tf. the try. the. t. the. the. the the the the the the the t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. the. the. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. I. I. P. P. I. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. pick this pantry. Oh Rob, I'm out of breath. What happened? I went downstairs to get one. There's been sending to me and I picked up the wrong thing, came upstairs and now I'm going

to have to do that. Also we should be clear. We don't get loads of freebies from these. But I've literally... I've not got any freebies. No, so like don't think that we're giving them shout-outs. We don't really do that. These are just people that have emailed in. I've got no idea if this bakery is any good but they seem nice people. Yeah, I mean everything we're promoting could be dog shit. With this section, you have to take into account we have no knowledge if this is any good or not, but good luck, but the thu thu thu. thu thu. tho thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu. But good thu thu. But good thu. But good th th th th th th th th th th thu. But good thu. But good thu. But good thu. But good thu. But good thu. But good thu. But good thu. But good thu. But good thu. But good thu. But thu. But thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. to strap blah, blah, blah, blah. Can you give our small business a shout out? My sister and I run, purely organized. We come to homes and declutter and organize rooms, leaving your home fully transformed. We're both moms and understand how difficult is to find time to keep on top of your home and it's often the first thing to get dropped when you are busy. Oh, welcome to my world. So, whether you need hand declutoring toys clothes, kitchen bins, etc. Kitchen bits, not kitchen bins, and making your home look

super organized, tidy and leveled, please get in touch. We have some amazing before or afters on our Instagram account too, W.W.W.W.W.W.P. Purely Organized. Co. there. There we go. Also another shower, if you've got any questions for my parents and Josh's parents and also Rose and Lou, and any questions for Michael that are going to go into our parenting hell book. They're the three bonus chapters, aren't there of? Well, yeah, a lot of people have been sending in questions for Michael. So if you've got any questions for Michael about making the podcast and what it's like listening to this as a child child child child child child child child child child child.... to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too.o.o.o.o. to to to to's like listening to this as a childless man. Does it make you want to be a parent? Do you think differently about parenting

than you did two years ago? Yeah, I think he's a silencing to be your dad, Rob or Josh. But yeah, if you've got any questions for Michael the producer, our wives or our parents, email them in. The email address is in the description on its Parents in Hell Book at Bonia Books and Bonia is B-O-N-N-I-R books.co. UK. So you can email those questions for Rosenloo. We've got loads of Rosenlue, some mom and dads and Michael. We'll be greatly appreciated and you can feature in the book if you leave your name, age and location. Josh, I'll speak to you on