Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP39: The One Where Josh Loses The Cat...

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

S04 EP39: The One Where Josh Loses The Cat...**DISCLAIMER** This episode contains some chat about Christmas and Santa for those who are foolish enough to listen with kids! (It's also flagged during the episode just before we mention it so you can skip that section if needed) More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks Rob + JoshBIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicum. Welcome to Parent in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with... Pixie. Leon, can you say Rob Beckett?

Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whitticum? Well done. There we go. That was solid. Yeah, solid stuff. Hey, look. Oh my God. Hello, guys. I discovered your podcast a couple of months ago. Do you want to have

a guess where the form? Let me read the message. Hello guys, I discovered your podcast a couple of months ago and you've been playing in my car almost every day since. I'm also amazed at how similar life is with kids seems to be all over Europe. My son Leon loved the little task and made me record several versions. He's bilingual in English and the language of this country. Probably pronounce your names better than me. That is from Zenia. Zenia. Where's Zenia from North Macedonia?

Zenia is from North Macedonia. Wow, so she's not, she's not from North Macedonia. She, yeah, she is. He's bilingual in English and Macedonian. Oh my lord. Greetings and hugs from Scopal. So people are listening to this in Macedonia. That's good isn't it? It's really good. They're in the they're in the World Cup when they were the euros or whatever it was last time for the first time I think. Yeah. I wouldn't hold myself to that. I wouldn't that. I that. I that. I their. I their. I their. I wouldn't hold myself myself myself. I'm. I'm. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I to hold. I to hold. I to hold. I to hold. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. bad knowledge. No they are I think yeah but there's a North Macedonia but no South Macedonia for sort of complicated reasons that I don't think we really need to get into. Do you not think we should go into do a deep dive on in this podcast? What into the sort of regional debate in North Macedonia next to

Kosovo and Albania? No. Exactly we could start with the breakup of Yugoslavia and just work from there. I think the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th their sort their sort their sort their sort their sort their sort their they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're th. they're th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's is th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah............. Yeah.. I. I..... I th. I th. So. So. So. So. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I could start with the breakup of Yugoslavia and just work from there. I think the argument is it's North Macedonia because someone else has land that Macedonia says is South Maceda. Should we stop talking? Yes. How are you, Rob? How's parenting? That is what we're looking for? It's a bit stressful this morning. I am. Good to know. Basically, I recalled this in like a little office in the end of the garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden garden, but the garden, but the garden, the garden, the garden, the garden, the garden, the garden, the garden, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, th. thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.a, they. Wea, they. their, they. their, they. their, they. their, the garden but one of them sort of garden offices which is sort of like wood with big glass doors on the front which means that a hot but the sun beats down on it so it gets so hot in the morning so normally I pop in here about an hour before and I've got this all air conditioner unit that I turn on and it calls it down or I open the windows and all that but because you wanted to record this slightly earlier, I've come in at the hottest it's ever been. And I feel like I'm on holiday, so I'm a bit hot. Could you open the door? Yeah, but if I open the door too wide, it's too loud. And also

Lou's gone for a dog walk and I've got two children on iPad in the house. Oh, whoa. So I'm juggling. I'm spinning plates. I'm spinning. I'm spinning. I'm spinning. I'm spinning plates. I'm spinning plates. I'm spinning plates. I'm spinning plates. I'm spinning plates. thiii. I'm spinning plates. thi. I'm spinning plates. thi. I'm spinning plates. I'm spinning plates. thi. I'm spinning plates. I'm spinning plates. thi. I'm spinning to to thi. I'm spinning plates here to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. their. I'm their their their their their their their their today. the today. today. today. today. tooe. toe. to to to the to to to the the their to their the going to make it through this podcast? Absolutely zero, and I'll tell you why, because the storage on their fire screens, whatever they're called, the message come up critically low. Oh no. But I don't, how can an iPad be critically, what they're called, device can be critically? What have they got on that? I don't know, but basically, there's an adult account under Lou Beckettett, then, then, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, the, th, th, th, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, their, th. So, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, so.. So, so. So, some, some, some, some, some, some, some. So, some. So, some. So, some. So, some. So, some. So, some. So, their, their, their, their, their, their under Lou Beckett, then there's one for each of them, but then they keep swapping them over and then we're downloading duplicates of games, but they just, the good thing about the kids one is they can just download whatever they want for free, but it doesn't really, they're never get any like adult stuff because it's really No, I mean like anything with mature content,

which sounds even filthier. But yeah, yeah, there may be some swearing or other things. But yeah, so they just download stuff. But now I don't know how to work it, because I don't really, I only use Apple stuff. Oh, you are, you're an old person. You're my dad being unable to put the time on the time, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, thi, thi, to, thi, thi, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to put the timer on the video and me thinking I'll never be like that and now you're like that. Yeah, but I could do it on one one system. I'm like, I think like, there just needs to be a system.

Just needs to be a system that we all know. Just buy them apple products, that's what I've done. I just be, apples, he's in charge of apples, he's in charge of windows. How old are you? Just all have a sit down and surely Apple window can just be a nice big company with one system. Just all have a sit down and go, it's been a fun 40 years, but now let's come to some kind of... Silicon Valley. Let's fill the valley with a long, big load thoa thoa thoa thoad of tho tho th let's get rid of it, let's fill the valley with a long big load of water, the one system. I just don't like life at a moment. There's so many things. I've got to Leeds in a minute. Why have you got to leads? I've doing my tour and my tour. So it's like, I love doing the show but the traveling. the traveling's. So. So I. So I. So. So. So, oh. So, oh. So, oh. So, oh. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I, I, I. So, oh, I. So, I, I, oh, oh, I, I, I, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I, I'. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the. I the. I the. I'm. I the. I'm. I the. I'm. I the. I the. I'm. I'm. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the traveling's killing me Josh. It's so brutal. Oh I was the opposite. Oh you like the traveling. Oh I love the traveling. I love the traveling sitting on the train like Michael Bortillo, yes please. My dream life would be that I wake up in

the morning I do the podcast with you about nine-ish and then about half eleven I walk to the end of my road, about a three minute walk, and there's a theater there that I do a show in every day, and every day there's a different audience that have been busting from different parts of the country, and I do my show at them, and then three minutes later, I'm back on my sofa. That's the ultimate Rob in your dream life. I like it. It's very polite of you. I like it as well, I like it as well. But do I like it as much as being on holiday? That's the question.

Yeah, but if you're on holiday all the time when you get bored, what would you do? Now, say if they said, Josh Riddukum, you are not allowed to the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, uh, uh, to, uh, to, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th.... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th th th to. th th th to th to th th th to th th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to, you run the Euromillions. You don't have to do anything from an entire year and you're not even allowed to go to work. What would you do? Oh God, do you think I'd panic? Would that be in character? You're panicking now and it's not real. Yeah, I'm panicking now. I'd probably day one. I think I'm going to go for a coffee and read a book. And then about 11 am I'd go. That's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. Do thi. thi. Do thi. Do thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do th. Do. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do thi. Do theea. Do to. Do you thea. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, thea. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh wanted to do that for a decade. Now I've done it and it's not as good as I thought. I don't even drink coffee. Why have I done that? I'm going to come down about 4 p.m. feel really depressed. I didn't watch a blur documentary with you. I'm going to the with my day? I've got to do something with this. I maybe go to the gym. It would all be stuff. I mean, what am I doing?

I've won the Euro-millions. I'm going to the gym. Buy a fucking quad bike. Have some. Get a field, mate. Fuck to make. I have a love of God. You know a popcorn machine in a cinema room. But anyways, I always look at it.

You know when you see MTV cribs and people have got a cinema room and a popcorn maker? I'm like, who's gonna want that dusty popcorn that you make once every year? Oh mate, it's up there with my pizza oven. It's up there with my pizza oven. Oh my God. But I'm all right though, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I, I, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, I'm the th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thin, I'm thoomoomoomoomorrow, I'm thoomorrow, I'm thoomorrow, I'm thoom with my pizza oven. Oh my god. But I'm all right though but I'm just it's I'm feeling feeling the burn of the traveling. What do you do with your travel? What do I do with it? What do I do with your travel? What do I do with it? Like could you use it for search? Could you make a try? I can't do any work on the train. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. I'm just th. I'm just to th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bu. I'm feel. I'm feel. I'm feel. I'm feel. I'm feel. I'm feel. I'm feeling. th. th. the. the. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. I'm feeling. I'm feeling. I'm feeling. I'm, I tell what I've been listening to is Michael Seely sort of like, he's like on YouTube and he's a very calm in it. It's supposed to be like hypnosis, but I don't think it is,

but it's supposed to calm you to go to sleep. If I'm in a car for a long time or on a train, I'll listen to that and it will help me go to sleep. But if I'm in my bed and I and I and I th and I'm in my th and I'm in my th and I'm in my th and I'm in my try and I'm in my bed and I'll try and I'll try and I'll try and I'll try and I'll try and I'll try and I'll try and I'll try and I'll to to try and I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. try and I try and I try and I try and try and try and try and try and try and to try and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tell you what Rob, don't talk to me about sleep. I've had... You've got a little preview I texted you last night. I'm very excited to hear the full story to live. I've had a fucking shocker. So you know I can't sleep in hotels when I'm away. Yeah. So I went to doctor, got prescribed some sleeping pills to take when I'm away in a hotel. Right, so that seems that seems that seems that seems that seems that seems that seems that seems that seems that seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems seems to to to to to to take when I'm away in a hotel. Right so that seems quite

extreme. No because I can't sleep at all Rob. I've tried everything. You just tossed and turn in all night? I've tried all the herbal stuff, all the over-the-counter stuff and it doesn't work. And particularly if I'm working at AM the next morning I could be up literally two hours' today. Right so you'll be tottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottottheed and to to to to to to to theing and theing and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to sleep and to sleep and to to sleep and to to to to sleep and to sleep and to sleep and to sleep and to sleep and to sleep and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to. I to. I to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. to. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to you'll be tuttle and tu-in-turning to your apps exhausted and crash out about five or something? Yeah, exactly. And so at home I'm fine or I was, right? And these have got, they don't give side effects to many people, these sleeping pills. Right, okay. Like one percent of people. So you've had them and did they, did you go to sleep? Oh, for the best night of the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their night their sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep. their sleep. to sleep. to sleep. to sleep. their their to sleep. to sleep. to sleep. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to sleep, to sleep, to sleep. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. I'm th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. I'm the. And to to to the mouth, I can deal with that. A side effects go, that's not the end of the world. The first night, I woke up, had some water in the morning, I was like, what the fuck is wrong with this water? This is horrible and then I realized everything tasks of metal. But... Hang on it's a today. the thinininininininin food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food. tas. tas. tasks. thatatasks. thatasks. the that the thatasks. that the their that-a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. tas. tas. tas. tasks. tasks. tasks. tasks. tasks. tasks. tasks. tasks. that. that. that. that. th. th. taste the metal as well? Well, I had to go with stronger tasting food than water. Once you had something would taste, it would outfew the metal. Yeah, it's great.

About eight hours sleep, and then a Vindaloo, to start the day. Um, it's great. It's great. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can't to tha to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to to to the the to the to be the the to be the to be to be the the the the to be. I'm to be. I'm to be to be to the the the to be. I to be. I tooomber. I tooomber. I tooomb. I tooombueen. I'm tooombue. I'm to be a to be a to be. I'm to be. I'm to be. I'm to be. I'm to be. I'm to be. I'm the the the the the the the the the the thoes. the thoes. thoes. thoom. to to thoom. I'm to to too. I'm toooooo. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm tooooooooooom. I'm to to get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think University is for.

Get Uber 1 for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. So how much sleep did you get in the hotel? Like seven or eight hours a night? Great. Great. Great stuff. Are you feeling good the next day? You're feeling energized? Yeah, totally fine. Are you doing more in the day that you're like, come on on? Yeah. Yeah. Are th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooom? tooom? tooom? toe. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. to tod good. Right, okay. Until then I get at home, Rob. Yeah, basically, I've gone mad. What, too much energy?

Yes. I have got so much energy this morning. Last night I only had three hours sleep. I can't sleep. So now you can't sleep because you've slept too much. And I realized I've basically been for the last two and a half days. Right. So it's making you all anxious and sad. So we had a meeting, Rob. Yeah.

Me and you, didn't we, about the book? Yeah, this is when I had suspicions about your current mental state. Yeah, how did I come across? You came across so intense and panicked. It felt like, you know, in like a disaster film, and the scientist isn't being thaken, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to, thin, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, to me, th. and th. thin, thin, thin, thin, the the the the thin, the the the the thin, the thin, the the thin, the thin, to me and to me and to me and to me and thin, to me and to me and the scientist isn't being listened to. In the meeting, what was weird about the meeting was, the books going really well, we're both enjoying writing it and you're well ahead, you've written your half because you're busy the end of June and I've written almost all of mine and I'm just sort of finishing it off and you know when it's due in in a couple of weeks so we're

in a really good place of it and it's really happy but you but you look, you look like a man who hadn't written a word. And you're like, okay, right, so, okay, so the due date, next two weeks, so what we can do about that? And I was like, Josh, you've written your bit. God, what's it? So get this, this is the weirdest side effect you'll ever hear Rob. Ritchet? Last night, I went the opposite. Last night I'm too energized. Last night I went to bed and I was like, oh where's my phone charger? And I thought I'll just check in my suitcase because my suitcase from going away. And I picked up and it was empty and I was like, oh wait, is that Rose's suitcase? Is that your suitcase? She was like, no, that's yours. You unpacked it yesterday. I was like what? I had no memory of unpacking the

suitcase at all, right? And then I realized I barely remembered my meeting with you or what I did that morning and then Rose googled and short-term memory loss is one of the side effects I basically couldn't remember Monday or whatever day it was Friday. So you've got metal mouth no memory and anxiety? I burst into tears last night for no reason just totally burst into tears. Sorry that's it's a told. Have you ever read Michael Rosen's sad book? Michael Rosen? No. He's a children, well it's not a children's book, it's for all kinds of, it's for everyone dealing with grief and I found it and it is the saddest thing you've ever read and I was just crying, I was just crying all evening Rob. I'll be fine. So did you know that, did you know about the side effects of the medication at this point? No. So what's Rose thinking? Well until the suitcase, Rose is like, I, I've, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, the anxiety, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the no. So what's Rose thinking? Well until the suitcase, Rose is like I

basically the anxiety I've had for the last two days has been out of this world Rob. It's been insane. Building a building. Yeah building and building and then just last night just awful. I'll get through it but at the moment I feel like someone's gonna have to list this podcast on 0.5 speed because I'm speaking fast than I ever normally speak. You do, yeah. So you've not taken any more tablets though. No, I'm never doing it again!

The memory loss thing is mad. And do you know the worst thing about the suitcase? Rose watched me unpack it. And she kept saying to me after I said I don't remember unpacking it she kept going but it was out of character because normally you don't really get around to unpacking a suitcase and I was like this isn't a time to score points off me like one of the side effects isn't that I'm more efficient at unpacking a suitcase that's just a coincidence like don't keep going I to throw Josh I know you feel a thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi thi. I'm thi. I tho-I the thi thi. I'm just tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee're unpacking a suitcase. That's not one of the issues. Where do that?

Yeah, Josh, I know you feel a bit sad, but you are a lot more efficient around the house now, so shall we carry on with the tablets? So weird. It was so weird. But would Rose rather have you crying for no reason, but unpacking your bag? I don't know. It was quite a weird evening last night. I burst into tears about 9 p.m. and didn't stop crying until about 10 p.m. I'm sorry, I feel bad for laughing, but it's because you know what it is.

If you just came to me with this and it wasn't the medication, I'd be way more supportive. Yeah, of course. I'll be honest. I'll be the funny the funny get this as well, Rob. You are really on your full of beans, isn't you? I know. I've only had three hours sleep. Get this. At the worst moment. So Friday, I come home, I've been filming a lot. I've then failed to, you know, I'm on edge. Rose goes out to pick up our daughter to take her to ballet to ballet to ballet ballet ballet ballet to ballet to ballet ballet to ballet to ballet to ballet to ballet to ballet to ballet to ballet to ballet to ballet to ballet to ba to ba to ba to ba to ba to b to take her to ballet at 3pm. Yeah, and I'm like I can just have a bit of a relax now. So she's taken a baby as well? No, but he was just he was down for his nap. All right, okay. You know a cat is just back from the

vet, she's locked in our bedroom for seven days. Yeah. Gotcha. Your house is is tough at the moment, isn't it? It's tough at the moment, yeah. And so I go upstairs to go into the bedroom. I opened the door, as I open the door, the cat who is still in that jumper, shoots past me at top speed, right? Runs downstairs, I chase her downstairs, the kitchen doors open. She runs out of the house. She's not the the the to the the the the the the th up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up. the fence up. the fence up. the fence up. the fence up. the fence up. the fence up. the fence up. the fence up. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. It's. te. te. te. teau. teau. teau. teau.oooooooo teau.oo out of the house, she's not even allowed out of the bedroom,

jumps up onto the fence and disappears into someone else's garden. And I'm like, I can't deal with this. I simply... I'm not in the mental state to deal with this situation. Rose has kept the cat in all week while I've been away. The minute she leaves the house, I open the door. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She the the the the the the bedroom. She doesn't. She doesn't. She doesn't. She doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she the bedroom. She the bedroom. She the bedroom. She th th th th th th th thum thum thum thum, the the the the bedroom. She the bedroom. She the bedroom. She the bedroom. She. She. She. She. She. She the bedroom. She the bedroom. She the bedroom. She the bedroom. She the bedroom. She the bedroom. She doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't, she doesn't the bedroom. She doesn't the bedroom. She doesn't the cat in all week while I've been away. The minute she leaves the house, I open the door. She doesn't just leave the bedroom. She manages to get out the fucking house.

And now she's in someone else's garden. And then a red jumper, in a red jumper, and then she's not going to be jumping on things. And then my son wakes up and I'm like holding him pacing forward and back. Desperately calling out my cat's name as if that will make any fucking difference to anything. Beryl! What is that? Oh my God.

Give you your best barrel. How do you call her? Beryl? Doing that, nothing. And then I'm like...Shake some dreamies? Shake the dreamies? Is that all that? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the th. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. ta. ta. tea. tea. tape. tape. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'm like shake some dreamies shake the dreamies is that all that yeah but she doesn't even want dry food so she's onto the wet food you can't shake the wet food I put it out squeeze it squeeze it is the wet food and then I'm like I don't know whether I can phone Rose about this like do I try and remedy the situation but then I'm like I can't keep this to myself this is too thress thress thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush thrush. this this this this this this this this this thrush. thrush. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the to do to do to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to then I'm like, I can't keep this to myself. This is too stressful. So, you can't, there's no point texting her, she's a ballet, she can't find them.

I know, and all she's going to do is worry. So what did you do? I phoned my agent. Because I didn't know who to talk to you. You didn't. I to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the to the to th. th. tho. tho. to to tho. tho. to tho. to to told. told. to told. told. told. tho. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to. to. to. to. So, too. too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, toooooooooooooooo. talk to it. Yeah, I did. I did. Josh. I just find you to talk to someone about this. I've let a cat out of the house. Josh, what the fuck did your agent say? I had other things to talk to her about.

So I just weaved it into the conversation at the end. But you pretended to ring her for work stuff. She the the the the the the the the the the the the the the this and at the end of it I can at least let go of the cat information to someone else. And what did what did she say was she concerned? Not as concerned as I was. Did she did she take a percentage of your worry? 15% of my worry? Oh they take 15 years are they? Okay. Um oh my god. It was... Anyway, I phoned Rose. I just couldn't keep it to myself. Oh, so you phoned your agent and your wife because you lost the cat? Yeah. This is, this is peak.

This is peak performer Joshua the come here in absolute panic mode. And then Rose didn't give her shit. Oh really? Yeah, well she was on a date with John, obviously. The other dad she keeps going out with. What no, should they just take our daughters to ballet? That's convenient, and nothing else? No, nothing else, of course nothing else wrong. No, but I don't know if there's other classes that, um, Rosenbentz...

No, there's no other classes. Oh, right, okay. So just go meet a meet a ballet every thi. ballet. Well no, you're at home crying, cuddling, you're at home crying pacing going, Spiral! What's going on with my lot? Oh I had a nightmare this morning as well Rob. You are, how much of this stuff did you take? Too much four pills over four nights. You know the score do half and see how you feel. I felt great that's what it was working. That's the problem isn't it? That's a problem. You still feel like you're really energized. Yeah so my daughter's got into the videos that you know when your phone does like photo montage is set to music. Yeah yeah yeah yeah why he feels like the end of a funeral. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's got into watching them this morning. And obviously the problem with it is, it's always, it's like pictures of her on Christmas Eve, and then there's always a screen grab of like a comedian who sent an awful tweet that I've obviously screen grabbed the Christmas Eve one, Rob. And I would say anyone listening to this, who is listening with children, maybe fast forward the next two minutes, if that makes sense. Okay, so if you're listening to kids, stop listening for a moment.

She did the Christmas Eve one, Rob, and there was a picture of the mince pie and the camera. And then there was a picture of me eating the mince pie pie pie the mince pie the mince pie the mince the the the thine the thine the thine the thine the thine thine the thine th. th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. Eve one Rob. Yeah. And there was a picture of the mince pie and the carrot. And then there was a picture of me eating the mince pie and drinking the brandy. She didn't put her together, thank God. She didn't she just thought you was eating a mince pie? Yeah. And I'm having some brandy. But I was like, oh my God. You don't need that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that in that at the state of high anxiety. How do the sleeping pills working out for you, Josh? Well, I've had a hair sleep, but

I've ruined Christmas, I've cried and the cat's gone. What, what a disaster? What did your agent say though about the cat go missing as you weaved into the conversation? Yeah, she didn't really give any help per seahe' thi. She's really didn't the help the help the help thuuuuuuuuuuuuuilp-a' thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. toea' th th th th to to too' thathea' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me tooes tooes tooes too' tooan th. I thu. I's thr-a' thr-a' thr-a' thr-a' thr-a' thr-s' thr-s' thr-a' thr-a' thr-s' that that thr-a' thr-a' too' too' too' too' to've got to bear a mind, Rob. She's put up with me for 12 years now. She's used to this kind of shit. This isn't out of the blue. This is the kind of shit she's putting in week and week out. Oh my god. You know, the kind of shit where you get the impression she's probably catching up on emails. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you're actually, she's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's thi thi. She's th. She's th. She's this this kind this kind this kind this kind this kind this kind this kind this kind this kind this this this this this kind this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. She's this. She's this. She's this. She's this. She's this. She's the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. She's used. She's used. She's used. She get the impression she's probably catching up on emails. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you're actually, she's actually muted you and she's talking to Romish on her other ear.

Exactly, because he's lost his dog. Yeah. Yeah. Well, talking about unpacking bags, I want to get your opinion on this, okay. So talking about packing a suitcase. we went to the zoo overnight, and Lou always, and it drives me mental, okay, always packs a bag, she panics at the last minute and then just gets out a massive,

like sort of carrier bag and just throws everything in it, rather than putting it in a proper bag or a suitcase. What do you mean? I've just sent you a picture, I sent your picture. You see that? Oh my word. Oh, yeah, yeah. So it's just everything she might need. But what happens is, because she doesn't really get involved in loading the car or unloading the car on a holiday because she does more of the packing, which is fine, we've picked our jobs.

But I just explained it, that's not full of soft toys, but it looks like it's full of soft toys. Yeah, I mean it might as well be to be honest, but that's got all our stuff in. You're the only people that have brought a huge cuddly leopard to a safari park. Yeah, because the things th thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their that's their their their their their their to to to their their their to to their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their stuff. their stuff. F. their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. thr-a. their their thr-s. their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. thing that's the far away parks is they don't have, you know, Leopardy's teddy as you can buy, don't I? No, exactly. But that's been driving me mental. So the split is Lou does the packing and you pack the car, is that how it works in your house? Yeah, and I'll drive.

And obviously she wouldn't pack it, situation. Yeah, but what that's annoying is it's always left to me to put in a car and then you can't really stack it because it all falls out in the car and then when we park somewhere, sometimes you've got a walk for ages and I've just got this massive shopping bag rather on a you know a holder that's got proper straps or a suitcase of wheels and she's never seen it but when we got there we had to get on this golf buggy to get the the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the room the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to get. the the the th. th. to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to th. th the thto the room, it was spilling out everywhere, all over the floor, bouncing everywhere, and I was going, see, I felt so vindicated, I was going, see, it's not useful, is it? It really, you know when someone's like, I was really, my reaction to it was well over the top of what it should be. Of course, of course, oh that would do my head in, Rob. And does, oh, that would do my head in, and that, of, of, of, of, of, of, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to see, the, to see, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, the, to see, see, to see, to see, see, to see, to see, see, to, see, see, see, see, to, see, see, see, to, see, see, to, see, see, to, to, see, to, to, to, to, that bag? Yeah, again, it just falls all out and it's a nightmare, but it does my head in. Basically what I'm doing is I'm shaming here on the podcast.

Well, on that, Rob, did you see that? You saw that message that someone had sent us that I put on Instagram of how they think being married to you must be? Yes. Someone, what their question was, is marrying Rob, is like, is like, is like, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is a their, is thi, thi, thi, is that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is?. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thea?. thi. thea? thea? thea. thea. theating. theating. theating. theating, is question was, is marrying Rob like being in Disneyland every day to Lou? Stressful and hot. And then the follow-up question was, what's it like, what are the good and bad bits being married to stiff neck like Josh? It was a real kick in the teeth. Is your relationship like Disneyland every day, Rob?

No, I wouldn't say it is like Disneyland every day. It may be end part when you're tired and trying to get home after being on all the rides or all the cues. But I think though, Josh, I don't think, I don't think it's that's that bad. I think you read that in a very high, a very emotional, vulnerable state. Yes, I do realize that I still in a strange place I mean you you because you've been very active on Instagram as well haven't you have I for you yeah like posting loads of stuff oh god I don't even remember this also as well

Lou has now got a public account so if you listen to this and you want to follow Lou it's Lou underscore EM and she keeps getting really a notification so it's lotape to a lot of people follow her she she gets really panicked and it drains her battery down. So I was telling everyone on Instagram to follow her, and she's got 50,000 followers now. Oh my god. We could be the new Ramsey's Rob. So she's getting quite anxious, she keeps asking me what I should post and keeps getting scared. Papa Johns has offered her a free pizza as well for a post. She's become an influencer? Yeah.

I mean, an influencer that doesn't influence. A free pizza? That's a kick in the teeth, isn't it? They said to celebrate getting 50K, how about a free pizza? She's not going to do it. No. But you know what? They've got their bloody promo.

I know. They've absolutely done you there? Fuck! Are these other couple of things that's been happening in an hour house, Josh. My daughter screams, I've got a problem, I've got a problem, in the middle of the night, or just before she goes to sleep, because she falls out of bed on purpose. Oh, that's annoying. And it's quite funny as you come in because you see her in different angles, but she sort of just pret it to herself but at some points her neck is perilously close to being snat. Because she's sort of like her whole body weight on her head.

Yeah. And if I felt like if just one person pushed her down it would snap her neck. Yeah. But obviously no one's there to do that. And I'm not asking for someone to be there to do that. Oh no no the the the the they. they. that. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I. No. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. No, the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to be there. Oh, Lou got told off, Josh. By your daughters? No, no, no, by an adult woman. Oh no. You know, when you get told off by an adult woman in the out in the world, it's really annoying. Yeah, yeah. So basically, and the girls go to gymnastics, and it's a really good one, they enjoy going, but it's at the local school school school school school school, the school, the school, thapapap the school. And then it's right by the car park, the little entrance bit.

So Lou drops them off, takes dog for a walk, comes back and pick them up. And a few people do that with dogs just on Leeds and just waiting for the girls to come out. And then like the head teacher come out and started having a go, going, excuse me, this is a school, and it's Saturday morning. This is a school and dogs are banned. They must not be on sight. Oh God I feel so awful. Oh God that would do me. That's it for me. That's the day ruined. And then Lou was like oh I'm really sorry I didn't realize I just take the dog for a walk and you know I'm waiting for my kitchen get them get them off aside I sat immediately and just and John Lou was like yeah I've got to get my I've got to get the the the the the the the the the the the the the to get to get the to get to get the to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the to get the to get to get their to get out out out out I'm to get to get to get to get to get out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I'm the the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm to my, I've got to get them. And then the girls come out and they ran off to play around the corner. She was like, leave sight immediately.

And then Lou's like, I can't, my children aren't with me. I can't, I know you've got, you're like, you must leave. And it was like, yes, I understand no dogs in this playground about taking the dog. Do you know what, Lou stood up for herself more than I would. I'm so bad of being told off. I think I'd have just left the kids. No, Lou hates it and when Lou was telling me this, she was like, yeah, I didn't really say it quite like that, but that's what I wish a lead and and it's behaving nicely well why did I understand it on a school day because everyone I bring dogs that we mentor but like if you're willing to profit from hiring out your hall you've got to take on some newcomers we don't know

that that headteacher hasn't just undergone a course of sleeping pills and she's struggling to come off them but I think there's a way the their their their th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi. I'm they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try to to try to to try to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their to their to. But I think there's a way of doing things, isn't there? Just sort of like, oh, I'm really sorry, no, there's no dogs allowed on the school, like your dogs being really well behaved, but then if we let someone we can't let up, I think it's just a way of doing things, you know what I mean? They love the tea teachers, police are the hardest people to have in an audience. Do you think? 100% in comedy, because they're not used to being spoken to like that and being like in like when you're on stage you're in charge of that sort of communication aren't you?

And they have to sit and be quiet and they not all teaching police, police officer in the other day, absolute dog-fills scum, but he was a nice guy. Oink, oink, piggy-piggy, but that was a nice enough guy. Oh, did you ever get in trouble with the police, Rob? No, I was pretty good actually, to be honest. I was a good boy. Unlike my youngest daughter who came home from school the other day and said that she'd been showing her boobs to her friend. Whoa. Which was worrying. They're only four. But they were showing each over their boobs. But the friend was a boy and he showed his boobs. I don't know his boobs. I don't have it's a fair trade off. No exactly. He's worked out an absolute life act there, hasn't he? He's gonna be on Love Island in 20 years time.

Oh, I've got an idea of some photos I want sent in for the podcast to put an Instagram. One, big blazers. Big blazers? It's coming up to September time in next few months few months like you know, you know, sorry. I thought I meant like people who smoked weed. Sorry. No, no, no, big blazers, yeah, like, have you heard of a man called Snoop Doggy Dog. No, but you know like, because people have to start buying the school uniforms in about July, August for the start in September, and I remember at school there was this one kid, his mom bought a blazer from in year seven, the he still had it in year 11, just because it was so big. Grow in space in a blazer is something that is spoken about a lot when you buy a blazer.

So if you've got any photos of you as a kid in a blazer that was way too big, but you actually wearing your dad's one, one you actually wore to school because your mom said, please can I have some big blazers. All big jump jump jump th. Yeah like it doesn't yeah no actually just blazers Josh just blazers. Just blazers. So yeah so too big big, big uniform where you've got it to grow into and then small uniform when you're in year 11 and you've got like one more week of term left and your mom's left you in them ankle swingers because she's like I'm not buying you another pair of trousers, she can six-full next year. So big uniform, small uniform. Did you have bad uniform, Rob?

My mum was all pretty good, actually, to be honest. But there was his one kid, and his blazer was so... It looked like he'd borrowed it off an orangutan. The sleeves just swang. What were your shoes when you're at school? Did you have the cool shoes? Not really. I didn't have uncall ones, sort of like Marks and Spencer's. I think I had a pair of kickers. I think I had a pair of kickers, mate. But also in my school it was all, people had Gucci loafers.

Did they? But like some fake, some real, but the real ones are all stolen. Yeah, but they weren't real bit Essexy. Did you go to school with Tamara Eccleston? Like what's going like... No, but they weren't real. It weren't real. A lot of it was fake. Oh man. But because they were the shoes in Southeast London, and Gooch-Lofer was the shoe.

So that their dad would have probably a proper, day or whatever. And but it was very smart and grown up like my school. Oh really? Yeah it's a bit like Essex like you know you see. Talk me through Mufty Day Rob. Who's that? Mufti day? A non-uniform day. Oh non-uniform day. Oh non-unit. Devon slang that mufty day. We used to call it uncloth day and then I always go but the uniform is my clothes day. And then that the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniformed the uniform is the uniform is the uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my. The their is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my. the uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my uniform is my. the uniform is my. the uniform is my. the uniform is my the uniform is my. the. the. the the the the. I. I. I the the the. I the. I the. I the. the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I bought them. And I was so funny at school. When we were a young it would have been football kits. Everyone would just like, we'd want a football kit. And then when we got a bit old like 1516, it would have been Gucci loafers, a lot of Lacost and Ralph and Ralph and Ralph Raffer and Pauline that I absolutely loved, but my dad's shrunk and then tried to stretch it and their their their their their their, I I I their, I their, I to their, I to their, I their, I to to their, I to their, I to to to to to to to their, I would their, I would their, I'd their, I'd to want a to want a to want to want to want to want a to want a to want a th, I would th, I would th, I would themed, I would themed, I would themed, I would themed, I would would thomed, I would their, I would their, I would their, I would their, I would their, I would their, I would their, I would their, I would their woared., I would their woe and I would their woe., I would theolecklewantecklewoomoomorrow to want to want to want to want to want to want to want to want to want th were you wearing Rob? I had a raffering polo shirt that I absolutely loved but my dad's shrunk

and then tried to stretch it and he ripped a hole in it I remember that and a pair of brown like loafers like loafers, no socks rougher and pol as a joke. I know. Year 8 I had the full spliffy outfit. No way, really. And jacket. Yeah. Big Blazer? Talk about big. Oh, lovely. What about yann sport backpack? No, I had a Nike hair backpack. What trainers were you wearing? Nike hairs and then some Adidas? Yeah, I can remember that. I'd only have one pair of trainers. Do you know what I mean? One trainers for like going out and planning and one training is for best? For best? When were you, what were you doing? Going up west to take in a show? No, but if we were going out somewhere, it's like birthday parties, something, you'd have a nice pair of trainers then you'd have your scruffy ones and then your school shoes. Yeah, yeah, of course. That was it. And I couldn't believe it. When I started working in London, people would go like, I remember I worked in this office and I went, they were going somewhere and they went, oh, you'll need your hiking boots.

I was like, let's see if anyone's got any of live in London, you don't realize that to do certain things there's proper outfits. So like, if you go on a big walk, you need a pair of like waterproof hiking boots or walking shoes and like waterproof drowzers, I'd just go out a pair of shorts and trainers and be soaking wet and just thought everyone got wet feet when they went for a walk. Do you know my favorite bit of that Rob? Is Rob Beckett saying the phrase, I wrote about this in my first book? Like, yes, William Shakespeare? Actually, it brings me back to my first book. Yes, the Sunday Times bestseller, I say that to lose sometimes. I'll just like, I'm chatting

to I'm like, sorry, Lou, I've just got to pop up up just an author getting on with his day and she goes fuck off just an author just taking the world in and trying to put it in a book for people to enjoy I author Beckett oh I tell you what Rob yeah I'm looking for your tips on this because this is Kent okay yeah so I'll be back by the time this has gone out, but we're off to Whistable. Oh, it's lovely Whistable. What should I do with the family in Wixtable? How long you're there for? Three nights. Have you got a car or you just get the train there and back? Driving. It's only an hour from my house. Yeah, it's great. It. Rose, does she like them? Well, we want, no, I don't think she does. Don't get bogged down by the oysters. It's just, there's other food.

You once went for dinner, there was four of us. And they brought out three oysters. And one of us was allergic to oysters. Rose didn't like oysters. they're not animals. They are animals, come on now. You've got to draw the line somewhere mate and there's no way leave it out. Fucking oysters and animal. You've got to count it as an animal haven't you? What's it drawing the line? It's like a fish has coughed something out. Oh, sorry I'll eat that then that sounds great. Anyway, Wittsible, I'd say say Wittstable's lovely and very chilled.

You might get a little bit bored there with the kids, but don't worry because 20 minutes down the road is Margate. Peter's Fish and Chips in Margate is absolutely amazing. And also, there's got loads of cool little bars round the edge. It's a sandy beach, so the kids might like that more. What's the beach in Wittstable? Pebble. You've got to be effing kidding me, haven't you? Yeah, you will not be sat on the beach with the kids in Wittsible. You'll be driving for that.

Oh, for a love of God, I don't think they should be allowed anymore. They'd need to break these pebbles up and make them sandy these pebble. What a concept that would be? going to make sandy and I would win a landslide. No pun intended. Imagine what that do to the tourism industry. Yeah, exactly. Let's make Britain work. Let's make Britain worse.

Rob, let's be honest, the beach in. Rob, let's be honest. It's a bit dreadful, isn't it? It's so uncomfortable. I do thin though sometimes, sows, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, beaches means the towns better because they've had to put more effort in. Yeah, exactly. Where it's sandy, they think, oh they'll be on the beach, who cares? Yeah, you might as well not have a beach. Do you know what I mean? What's the point of having a stony beach? Well, what started out as a great bit of PR for Whitsda Bows really turned. Sorry, yeah. Well, I'll I I I I I I'll I'll to give I'll to give I'll to to to to to to to the their it their it's I'll their it's their it's their it's th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. th thirty thirty thirty their it's saund. Well, they're saunded they're saunded they're saunded they're saunded. they're saunded. they're saund. they're saund. they're saund. they's sandy. they's sandy. they's saund. Well, where it's saund. Well, where it's saund. Well, it's saund. Well, it's saund. Well, it's saund. Well, it's they's they's sa sa sa sa sa saund. I they're they're they're they're saund. I'd they're saund. I'd saund. I'd saund. I'd saund. I'd they're saund. I'd they're saund. they're saund. they're saund. I'd they're saund I once went to the beach and I was going to I can't remember I was going and I said to my dad he'd been before I said is it pebbly or is it sandy he said it depends where you draw the line I was like what between a pebble and a grain of sand

like how like how how how how? There's no beach real I can't tell what this is a stone or a piece of sand, is there? Ha ha ha ha ha! What I'd say is though, half an hour away, 25 minutes is Margate, and they've got a place called Dreamland, which is... Oh, Rob! I'm a dreamland, Margate, isn't it, like, really edgy? No, it's not. It's, it's basically, Margate is half a bit like Raff and also really hipstery and cool and loads of good stuff there. So if you go to there, I'd massive recommend that.

The kids all love it. It's got Sandy Beach, Sandy Beach, Peters Fish let you know how it all goes. I know it's the Libertines and Tom Grennan it's like a venue. I read an interview with Pete Docktie yesterday he's been banned from his own hotel. Has he? Yeah. Why? He got banned for bringing too many undesirable into the Libertines Hotel. Oh no and if imagine the Libertines call them undesirable. Do you know what Rob? It feels very stressful to be that free. Do you know what I mean? To live life for that amount of freedom. I was reading the interview and I thought I couldn't deal with this. This is stressful. He goes out with the interviewer to take the dog for a walk, comes back he's left the car running for an hour. I couldn't deal with that. Not with this petrol prices. Oh, I've th. this. this. this petrol. this petrol. this petrol. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their thi. their thi. thi. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's th. I's th. I's their th. I's their their their their their their their their their thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm to to to to to toeeeean. toean. toean. toean. toean. toean. toeeean. toean. toeeea. the. I'm th a child. Hello. What do you want? You're all right? You're hungry? Okay, right. I'll get you something sweet in a minute. Do you want to come and say hello to Josh?

come and say hello? Hello. Hello. There you go. How are you? He said how are you? You good? You're hungry? Do you want to go and get a snack and I'll see in a minute? Do they make their own snacks? They don't make their their their their their their their their their they they their they're their they're their their they're their their their their their their their their to go go go go go go go go go go go go. Do to go. Do to go go go. Do to go. How to go. How to go. How to go. How to go to go. How to go. Do to go. Do to go. Do to go. Do to to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say. I to to to to say. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to too. I. I to to to to to too. I too. I too. I to say to say to say to say to say. I say. I to say. I to make their own snacks? They don't make their own sex, they access their own snacks, but there is a there's a tear system of snacks. There's healthier snacks on tap. We're talking fruit, like crackers, stuff like that. Then there's a little separate treat slash snack stuff that's like Harry Bow or crisps and things like the but somehow the normal crisps have made their way into the accessible snacks which means an absolute crisp tsunami last week where I literally was walking through like empty crisp packets like it was leaves in autumn. What lovely image? Well you know as an author I've got a way with words. Of course you've got

you're working on your second book haven't you all? So yeah definitely go dreamland for the day and you'll like it but going for the day is nice and then you can go back to Wittsibble. Right should we do a small business shout out? Oh okay cool here's one. Hi guys I have a small business based in Lanarkshire Scotland. I have a small business based in Lanarkshire Scotlandtipe parties for young kids. I cover birthday sleepovers, communions and weddings. I imagine Balmitsvars too. Any occasion where keeping young ones amused and happy matters I would love a small business shout out. Here we go 40 winked tpies.

the Kps. Ko-K. I can't wait to come see you guys in Manchester next year. All the best Shirley. Oh these are look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the th. th. their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. the. the. the. the. the. their. their. to come see you guys in Manchester next year. All the best, Shirley. Oh, these are quite cool for like a kid's birthday. They're like little tpies that you can put in your house, like in the front room or in their bedroom and you can have like, oh, they can do like one or two or loads. They're really cute. That's great for a sleep over. Yeah, so that's 40 Winks. Hello, my name is Amy and I've just caught up listening to all your podcasts. Thank you for making me laugh while I've been listening at work. I have two children on my own. One has autism, so it brings its own challenges.

I would love a small business shout-out. I am from the East Midlands. We started setting up Children's Party High Gazibos last year. It's two very similar businesses in different parts of the country Rob. That's the beauty th th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, one th, one th, one th, one th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho-a, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom, thoom, the beauty of it we're covering the full country. Countries. We started setting up children's party high gazebos last year when the government started letting people socializing gardens. We created many themes. Our most popular theme has been of course the dinosaurs. My website is www.W.W.W.Pypers request.com BY personal request dot com. Where are they based?

East Midlands. Okay, so that's your TPs sorted and gazebo sorted for Scotland and the East Midlands. There we go. Josh, I'll see you on Friday, hopefully you won't be sad. Oh, I really hope not. All right, see you then. Catherine Ryan on Friday. I'll tell you what's upset me now. Why is it £2.50 to cross the Dartford crossing?

It's a bridge. You shouldn't have to pay £2.50 to cross a bridge. I'd rather swim. And also, why do you get fine when you forget to pay it? You have to remember It should be illegal. I tell what I can't stand. Loud typists in cafes on trains. How hard you need to hit the keyboard. Sounds like you're smashing it with a sledgehammer. What about people that run down the park with their prams?

What's you doing? Uh, yoga in public. Stop it. These are the sort of things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things that upset us and we talk about them on our podcast, What's Upset You Now, which is back. Every Tuesday and Thursday we have a guest on every Tuesday and Tuesday and Thursday and wea and Thursday and wherever you usually get your podcast. What's upset you now is back. Hello I'm Tom Crane.

And I'm Simran Shah, and we're the hosts of the new food and comedy podcast My Favorite Takeaway, where each week were invited into the home of a celebrity guest to share their favorite takeaway, exactly as they normally have it. We'll be trying it all from Peruvian Street food slouched on James Acaster's L-shape Sofah, to an Antigan feast huddled around around their..... And, t. And, t. And, t. And, t. t. t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tha, tha, and tha, and tha, and their, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tha, and toe, and toe, and toe, and toe, and toe, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their?a, their tom.a, tom''a.a.a.a. And, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, and their L-shaped sofa, to an Antiguan feast huddled around Andy Oliver's dinner table, via an Alfresco-Indian takeaway takeaway taqaise, sat in Tom Allen's garden, and we also want to hear from you the listener. Your takeaway disasters. Your weird habits. And your personal takeaway recommendations. You can follow us. Hello at my favorite takeaway podcast dot com. Don't forget to subscribe, like and share. My favorite takeaway. The

podcast for anyone who loves food but can't always be bothered to cook. Available on all podcast platforms now. Hello Tom Allen here. And Susie Ruffle. We have a podcast called Like Minded Friends. It's very much a celebration of, I don't know, what would you say, Sue's being queer? Being queer, but also chit-chat. There's loads of straight people that love it, so I think that you should come along and listen to it. There's something for everybody. It's been described as white noise for gays. But also we had a lovely section about Glade plugins.