Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP41: Fee - Fi - Pho - Mum

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

S04 EP41: Fee - Fi - Pho - MumMore (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...Enjoy. Rate and Review. Thanks Rob + JoshBIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can��t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicum. Welcome to Parent in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully, how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with Willow.

Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdickum? Drop Beckum. Well, done. Did you hear that straight, Rob? Or did you hear Rose answering the door? Well, I heard, I heard a child talking, but also, Rose, I thought it was Rose,

answering the door. But I didn't think it was delivery she greeted that man I'm gonna say man it felt like a man like sort of like a family member well we do get a lot of deliverer so you know it's the same guy it's the same guy it's the same guy it's a he's your regular no so that was Rose getting a delivery I do a problem it means I didn't listen to the clip at all because I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was a the the the th I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was th. I was a th. I was th. I was th. I was I was I was was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was a th th th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi I didn't listen to the clip at all because I was panicking about how I was getting the delivery being caught on Mike. Well yeah, we've got that, I think keep it in. I've never, I couldn't tell you anything that happened in that clip, isn't that terrible? Yeah, I mean I was distracted too if I'm honest with you. Well now all I want to know is what delivery you got. Fow. What's. What's. What's? what what what what was. What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What's? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. odles, okay, East London Waggamamas. East London Waggamamas.

Fo, I thought you was gonna say foe, like, you know, like, faux fur, foe meat? Oh yeah, no, no, but they do do foe meat, but I don't really do. Is it foe, foe, foe-fum pun but I'd be honest with you I'm in one of I'm having one of the worst hangovers I've had for about 15 years. You said feet-fo mom at the end I don't know why your mom came into it. It's a parenting podcast counselor would have an absolute field day is why your mom's coming to that.

Don't turn the tables on me I I can hear you rubbing your little crusty hands together because you feel human again. People have been messaging me worrying about you. Yes, too right they should have been. I've had a terrible time. You sound better. I've, I slept last night. I slept last night.

I've woke up up the stairs. One of a sec, Rose has just said bad news. What's happened? Oh no. Oh no, I've woken up, oh no. Should I go in the other, should I go and see it, I'm going to go in the bedroom? What am I going to do? I've woken up the baby, Rob, we haven't got better, we just, that was a shag of that travel lodge every three weeks.

Bit of M-Cat runs it. This is an absolute naught. Because, oh can you hear me? Yeah, you cut out a bit. Oh, my recording stopped. Okay. Ha ha ha ha! What's a fucking mess? This is an absolute disaster. This is why we don't normally record in the evening, isn't it? Yes, because oh my god, I've just fallen over a box.

Do you know what? This podcast is basically who's had the worst day and it swings wild. It's like a basketball match. Rob. So my headphones have come out. So you're coming directly out of the computer. Oh, am I? Yeah, and I'm about to go past my son's room. So could you just whisper for the next 10 seconds? I'll sing, silent night, holy night. Holy night.

Holy is that nice? Is that help? Is that nice? Is that help? Do we have to pay royalties for that? Absolutely not. You didn't hit one of the right notes. All right, so, hang on, I think you need to plug your headphones and microphone in properly. So, the anxiety is back after a clip. Okay, a go, so, let's get you settled. Are you away So the anxiety is back after a kid. Okay, agone, so let's get you settled. Are you away from the, how is Rose not livid with you or is she livid? Um, hello? Hello? Hello? One two? Yeah, I'm here. Oh, for the love of God, my microphone's gone well.

I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back, I think it's good for the listeners to hear us not on a mic, and then it really makes you realize how great mics sell. Oh no, my doorbells going. This is absolutely... You're joking. This is why we don't record at 7.30pm. There's a taxi thought, is that for me? What? What's happening? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's a th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's, I I I is, I is th. It is, I I is, I is th. It is th. It, I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's th. It's thi. It's th. for me? What? That's an Edison, me out my house, am I working tonight? What's happening?

Oh no, it's a bit late for you to be working, surely. No, I can't be. Oh no, that's getting something's getting curried off. Oh right. Yeah. Oh my God. Welcome to the podcast. a three-year-old olive from Hertfordshire if you... What's that noise? You got the window open?

Yeah, because it's fucking boiling, mate. It's about 400 degrees. If I can hear the road? That's because we live on a road. Get it over, we're trying to do a podcast, Josh. But Rob, I've got the... All right, I'll have tip thing. Never is a bocke I swang so many ways. I thought I was going to go and do a gig then. I saw that cab. I thought I might do it. I might do

a 10 o'clock closing set somewhere. Right. Some charity gig I forgot about. You know them charity gigs you go, yeah I'll do that. You think I'll cancel about it. Oh no I forgot to cance the windows. I'm the the the the th. I'm the the th. I'm the th. I'm the th. I'm the th. I'm the th. I'm the th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going to to to to to to to to the the the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll cancel about a week before? Oh no, I forgot to cancel it! Right. No, it's not for me, it's some close. I'm gonna close the, um, I'm gonna close the windows. Can you film, because I won't be listening. So you could stay up. Okay, what do you want the rest of? Silent night. Holy night.

Holy night. Oh, how old is Brad? How many fucking windows you got? Come on, mate. Give me a chance. You back? Oh, dear. This is like that Lord from Longleap trying to shut all his windows. You won't for ages. You live in a Victorian terrorist.

I've only closed two windows. Oh, right, okay. Big, big old Victorian ones. We need to move to a fucking thiolderac, I tell you that for a fray. I'm picking a new junction. That's not even what's called picketingly circuit. How did I get that wrong? All right, so, so a water terrible start. That's got to be one of our best or worst starts to a show ever. Each of

each is all subjectiveness isn't it? Yeah. Right okay let's get let's break things down I'll talk to you about my hangover and child and children in a minute. Talk to me. Are you okay? Have people to today? Yeah. Okay if you want me to just fill you in? Yes. I had a couple of bad more days. Okay, so people that don't know, you took sleeping tablets and the side effects were depression, loss of memory and anything else? Yeah, you don't get erections anyway, so that's not part, that's not directly from it is it? I haven't had a sexualed. This is horrible. This can't go on the air.

I didn't hear the fart, okay. No, and that's, I did another week on to that. Now, um... Michael's gonna put a fart in the edit in he. Like a really comedy one. Sorry, right, okay. So you took these tablets and you stopped taking them when you realized. Yeah.

I gigged a few times with the same comic ones, right? Just over a period of time. And every time before the gig, he'd go into the adjoining toilet that was obviously, you know when a toilet's basically the dressing one with the doortwo of you. Yeah. And he'd do the most nervous shit you've ever heard in your life. But like he was playing a comedy sound effects scene. And I think surely he realizes I can hear this. So it would be like like this. I'd be sat there in essentially the same room. It's actually the same room. It's actually the same thing.

I'm thinking, guy who is an intelligent guy. He needs a new job. This is good for his body. You did any other job made you do that, you'd go, I've got to leave this job. Imagine a pilot. Imagine waiting to get on the plane. Pilots in there. We'll be a taxi, we'll be cruising up. Oh, sorry that's a... What a star. Okay. So how are you feeling that, mate?

Anyway, so I am... The main side effect of the sleeping tablets, ironically, was insomnia. So that was... I'm gonna explode! I need to drink so bad! Who's his doctor? Dr. Ribot? So it's never, I've spoken to two doctors, it's not, I've, it's never happened before basically anyone. I've had this basic. I mean... It's quite, you had it quite, we're making a joke out of it, but it's been quite, actually quite traumatic. Yeah, it's been really traumatic. I've had like some dark times in the last few years. Oh my! Really? I'm sorry, it, it's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th thi, it's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, it's th th th th th thi, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th like some dark times in the last few years. Really? Oh I'm sorry.

It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. I stopped laughing when you tell me about it. No it's fine. You know coming out the other side of it. Yeah. So. Well it shows you, it's just chemicals in it? Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I just, last night I had a couple of beers with dinner, was so tired. But do you know what happened like yesterday? I talked to my therapist about it generally. Yeah. And she reassured me that in her opinion, having spoken to me for 10 minutes, this wasn't me. This was a chemical thing. This was like you having a flare-up of the... I've never seen you like this before in my life. That's not what you want to hear from a therapist. Well, in a way it is, because it made you go,

oh, right, this is my head. I was like, what if this is me forever? Oh, wait. I was like, what if I never sleep again? again. Because for people that didn't listen, I couldn't sleep in hotels. So I took these things when I was in hotels for a few days. Then when I got back I was basically having this, I'd managed to poach the insomnia out to every place in the world, not just hotels. Anyway, speaking to a couple of people, then spoke to a couple of doctors as well, who was the original doctor who I spoke to, and one who was, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, to, to to, to to, to to, to to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me, to me, original doctor who I spoke to and one who was well Carl's story short Mike wasnay ex-wife.

So who's the only doctor I know? Harry the ill? Well Mike wasn't he as well as of course she used to be a doctor but I didn't trust. She's very good though. She's still doing it. She's very reassuring. Anyway, just those chats made me really calm down and really. Oh that's good. Yeah. And then last night I slept well and they're at home. Yeah. So. Oh yeah because you went away to Wixtable? Yeah. So do you want me to tell half of Wittsball still severely depressed in some the act? Almost all of it actually. Oh, okay. So, but, what a place. Wittable was lovely. Oh, I'm going to give the full marks to Wittstable. What a great! It's great. Loved it. Um,

absolutely loved it. Now, there was a slight issue, which you'll be delighted with. Go on. So this trip has been postponed since before COVID. So you got this Airbnb and it's just been kicked down the road until now. When we booked it, Rob, we only had one child. So there was space issues going on. It was a two bed? Because your mother-in-law went as well, didn't she? Yeah. So it was, it was, Okay, so what was it a two bed? Because your mother-in-law went as well, didn't she? Yeah, so it was, so we were like, well, there's a big room and there's a spare room. We'll put Rose's mom in the spare room and then we'll go in with our son and our daughter can go on the mezzanine.

Right, okay, okay, yeah. That seems like fine. Yeah, and then turned out that was the lightest room in the world. But the bigger room? Yeah, so bright. And he's not used to that. So... I say... I say... No, of course not. And also it's so... You could not have gone as a brighter time. I couldn't have gone at a brighter time. It was still light at 10 p.m. But you were dark all day. I was dark all day.

I was dark all day. If only you could put him in your soul to go to sleep. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero- dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think

university is for. Get Uber won for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. So this is my tip. Yeah. Well, firstly, going on a holiday with a one-year-old. But going on holiday with a one-year-old is insane. Particularly to an Airbnb full of nice things.

Because they had, they made our house look trinket light Rob. Really? It was a lovely house. A bit modernista your house compared to theirs. Yeah exactly. We look like, what's that woman? I can't even marry condo? Yeah, we look like Mary Condo up in around. So, see the references are like that don't work if you have to source the name. Yeah, I was a the th. I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. It was, th. It was, th. It was, th. It was, th. It was, th. It was th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a t. It's a t. It's a toda. It's a toda. It's a toda. It's a toda. It was a today. It was a today. It was a today. It to source the name. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I went to ask Scott yesterday, right? And it was a bit, I'll talk about a bit quite laddy. There was his geyser, he's giving me loads of shit.

And he came bowling over and he had a gray like pinstripe suit with orange on it and a big orange tire. And so I gave me shit. And I went, I hea, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, oh, I, oh, I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I'll, I'll, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll tha, I'll tha, I'll took, I'll took, I'll took, took, I'll tolk, I'll took, I'll took, I'll tha, Ielios. And it really, it hit hard, it really slapped. That's your club, comedy club training, Rob. Oh, bang. Look that, yeah, straight down his throat. He was livid. Then I just hammered him with speedy balled in, just loads of other like easy jet references. Oh, here we go Rob.

Where's Leo? Remember Leo from Airline?. You the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's really really, really, really, really, really, th. It's that, really, that, that, that, that, it's. Here we go Rob. Where's Leo? I went, where's Leo? Remember Leo from Airline? You know the ITB show? The little? Leo from Airline. I remember Jeremy Spake from airport. Jeremy, so he's a camp guy with the ghost he, wasn't him? He was like one of the breakout stars.

I'm going to send me a story that they're on a show with him. Yeah. And the show is quite badly organized. And it was all going wrong and Jeremy Spake was getting a bit annoyed. Must be used to that he throw. Come on. Lovely. Not that hungover. I've got it. That's Leo. I'll have have a look. I'll have a look. Yeah, sorry. Before my Jeremy Spak punchline. I'm never seen that guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. th. th. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'll th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. theea. thea''' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' to make the edit anyway. Never seen that guy before I. Never see that guy before in my life. What a waste of everyone's time. And now I've got, no, I've got. Now I've got, no, you've got. Now you've got, no, no, you've got. It's what I describe as a light bit of humor. It's not, the threat, to, I, I, I, to, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. thi. to, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, I, the, I, the, tho, I'm, the, I'm, the, the, the, the, the, the the the to to to to to to to, to, to, the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I. the, the, the the the tho. tho. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoooooooooooooooooo. th th th th thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tha, tha, the tha, -ups of the Jerry Spake. I got it's not good. It's quite, it's quite, it's what I describe as a light bit of humor.

It's not, it's not gonna hit hard. It's not, you couldn't get away with this at Ascot. Yeah, this isn't a fuck off Stelios live. This is gonna be great, Gat Krakow. Yeah, no, there's too much pressure on it now, Rob, I don't think I can deliver the anecdote. No, you'll be alright, cut crack on. So Jeremy Spake was on this show. There was also Katrina on airline, you remember her? Jeremy Spake, you remember him?

Do you want to need me send you a photo? He was on this show. Yeah. And um, they were, it was really badly, well it was all going wrong or whatever. And Jeremy Spake got a bit angry and he said, I have never been treated this badly in all of my four weeks in television. That's a good lie. It is a, well, is he doing that on purpose?

No. No? No! No! I mean that is hilarious if you mean it but in the wrong way there. So Paul. Jezzer. I like Jeremy Spake. Jerry, what, that was pretty good. Just put yourself down. Yes. I don't think you've shook off the medication yet. That was great. Oh thanks. Be kind to yourself. So anyway, yeah. Yeah, so we couldn't put him in that room. Yeah. So basically Rob. We only only had. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. th. that. th. th. th. that. that. that. th. th. that. th. th. that. the th. the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that is that is that is that is yeah, so we couldn't put him in that room.

Yeah. So basically, Rob, we only had two bedrooms. Are you telling me you slept with your mother-in-law? Is this what's gonna, is this the end of the story? No. This is the, so basically. Don't worry, he's not's about the worst thing that happened. Either that, or he'd just pace round like a polar bear at a zoo.

So anyway, we had to move him into the other bedroom, right? But the other bedroom was too small. If we knew if we slept in there, then he'd just wake up at five and see us, because that's what happened on the last holiday you had to put him in a room on his own yeah so basically once he'd moved into that that took one of the bedrooms out so all of us were in the other bedroom together oh so my son had his own bedroom whereas the rest of the family are sleeping in together so your mother knows on there was a foot on oh there the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theyroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom is is is is is is is is is is the the the the the the the the moment there was a foot on, she was on. Oh, poor lady. She always volunteers.

She's a good woman like that. She's a good person. She'll always put the kids first. Yeah. So basically, our baby had his own room. And the four of us are in another room. It was absolutely fucking mental. Lovely on a day.

Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm standing there, lying there, staring at the ceiling, unable to close my eyes for fear of the dark thoughts. I'm sorry I have to stop laughing at it. It was insane, Rob. I thought I'd never sleep again. So what was you ever doing a night? Well, the first night I actually, after initially bad start, I did have a little bit of sleep. Then the second night, I borrowed, well, I took, I the to to to to to to to to the the to the to to the the the to to have, I the the to have, I the the the to stop, I the to stop, I the the to stop, I the to stop, I to stop. I the the the the the the the the the to stop. I have to stop. I have I have I have I have I have I have have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooke. I have tooke. I'm tooke. I'm tooke. I have tooke. I have tooke. I have tooke. I have tooke. I have tooke. I have tooke., I did have a little bit of sleep.

And the second night, I borrowed, I took one of the, one of my mother-in-law's valiums and that calmed me down. God, you're like, marylain, ma'amereau, you are? You rattled, you walked down the street? But then now I'm fine and I'm absolutely buzzing. Yeah, oh Yeah. Oh dear. It's lovely Wittsto all though, isn't it? Absolutely lovely. We had a lovely holiday. Any recommendations? Um, well, we did a lot of like... Are they fishermen huts? No, but they're like small cottages. Because we're staying on the fishermen's huts things later in the year. It's great. We just played on the very, my daughter's really into stones and shells and all, you know, all that kind of loves it.

She prefers them to the beetles, yeah? Oh, here we go. Too much? Who knows? Oh, I don't. I think it'll do. You know what I ask. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I........................................................................................................................................... the. the............ Yeah, that's good. It's a very kind of wholesome holiday for the rest of the family while I sat in my pranging off your nut. Pranging it off my nut. Yeah.

Did you go Margate or did you just stay in Wittable? It was just a nice because it was so nice. It was absolutely lovely. We went to the night when I was like I'm just gonna have a couple of drinks because I've been told by the doctor just have a couple of drinks to calm down of it evening. I reckon I drunk my first pint in seven seconds, which in a kind of fancy restaurant looks quite weird. When they come back to take your order and you're like, could I get another pine please But you know when you're buzzing?

You drink really fast. You know like your first pine to a party or something? That's my problem, I don't drink at all. Well, I don't drink, I sort of just don't drink or I have all the drinks. Yeah, that's what I'm like. So basically we get there, we got there, like, we drove up, we stayed in the hotel, we stayed at Pennywill Park, which is a very fancy hotel. It's lovely. Very nice hotel. I recommend it.

It's got a nice spa. Was it the night before? No, so we drove basically. I was to you, didn't I went up to Leeds. I did Leeds two nights in a row, then Birmingham, and then I got in from Birmingham at like 1 a the too.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m. I. I. I. I. I. I. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. It was. It was. I was. I was. I was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. getting ready. Then we left the house at like 9 a.m. to drive to the hotel to drop our bags off and then get a taxi from the hotel to Ascot. Oh yeah. Because you've got to be there early. It's like an all day event. An all day event. An alder. A.A.A.Skart is a very different thing. I don't thia. I don't thia. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. It th. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a tha. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a to dr. It's a to dr. It's a to dr. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a to drop. It's a to drop. It's a to drop. It's a to drop. It's a to drop. It's a to drop. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Ascot, they were like, this is a fucking... And all day at how it starts at a weathersprings. Honestly, wait, Ascot is mental.

I wasn't prepared for it at all. It's like, everyone's dressed up. I didn't wear the top-out and tails. I just couldn't, it's not me. I'd rather just go in a suit. And if I'm not allowed in there, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th...... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. I'm tha, is, is, is, is, I, is, is, is the biggest piss-up I've ever been to in my life. It was like Magaloof. It was honestly, everyone is off their face. And then when you get released at like 7 o'clock, you get released. Yeah, because they're all around the bandstand singing songs.

It's like, it's like, it's like, like VE Day. They're all like singing Jerusalem and, everyone, like thousands of people flood the streets of Ascot and there's all like marquise in pub car parks and everyone's off their face. At one point I went, I need to go to a toil, I went and go through there, it was a nightclub at 7pm like bit, it's a bit, there's like, you know that like the Saudi Prince and Prince Charles and Camilla are in there, but also, there's just like people selling me lucky ever

and like flowers from my, for my suit, pocket hole, and everyone's shouting, and it's like, it felt like, like, like, like, the spa, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. breakfast I got in at 1 a.m. and then drove to Ascot drop the bags jumped in the cab arrived it barely had my time probably and I walked through and there was like photographers like trying to get like Holly Willoughby and all those people and I walked to and I went I fuck say do I have to and then they sort of they sort of quickly took photos me next me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me next to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to their their to to to to their to to their to to to to their their to to to to to to their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they did Rob that's your calling card. That's my thing. And I was all right and then they went oh can we get a couple of words for Ascot TV? Was Ascot TV? I don't know I don't know and basically I think they put it

on the screens at Ascot right and online I went okay all right what you're thought so far I went I'm a bit confused one everyone's dressed up for a wedding and there's proper posh people here but also some of the, some absolute scum. So I don't know what this events for, hopefully somewhere in the middle. And this is like being played out on the screens in the stadium. And you're in Charles racing? No, I've never been before. I don't really know what I'm doing here really. Why were you that? Well, my friends, our friends bought us tickets us us us us us us us us us us us us us us their their their their their their their th. th. th. thets, our friends, our friends, our friends, our friends, our friends, our friends, tickets, tickets, tickets, tickets, tickets, tickets, tickets, togets, tha. tha. tha. tha, tha, tha, tha. tha, th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, the, the, the. I's, thea, thea. I's, thea. I's, toea. I'm, toea. I'm, toea. I'm, toea. I'm, thea. I'm, thea. thea, the us tickets to go. We bought them some tickets, we're going to see Adele with them in a few weeks. So we said, oh we got tickets to Adele and they went, oh let us take you Ascot to say thank you for the tickets, right?

I was that lovely. So they booked the tickets and we went in, but I was like, I weren't really prepared, and because, and because, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, a camera doing like... Yeah of course. You weren't in some kind of area where it was like you've got a free ticket so you do a bit of TV thing? No, not really. To be fair though, they booked us the tickets like in the general area and then I knew, I spoke to a couple of people that have been there before and on because down on the on the floor it is it was hard it was hard gone. Oh but I was so pissed I was being really rude to people some woman come up to you went I don't know the fuck you are I don't know the fuck you are either in her face to be to be fair Rob it sounds like she's tired it mate I don't you need the rude person, that's it, Drake. She went, I don't know who the fuck you are, I don't know who the fuck you are. So just two people not knowing each other, shouting at each other, I don't know the fuck you. And then she would, then I made, can I get a photo? And I went, yeah, right, and then as it took the photo, she weren't in the photo, she went, and I, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I'd. And, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, so, so, so, so, so, so, I, so, I.. So, so, I.. And, I... And, I.. And, I.. And, I.. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. the, I. the, I. the, just. the, just. the. the. the. the. Just, just, just. the. Just, just, just, just, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. beers, I'm so, like, you've seen it, I've just, I've got no control.

Wow, and did you win? Yeah, so I, I was so pissed. I won and didn't realize until I got home. What? Because I've done it on a nap. And I mean a bat, not on a horse, right weren't you weren't the jocky of this Did you know that but like by the time I was so drunk by the time it came round oh that the horses are so quick yeah it's hard to get it nobody's really hard to keep up with what's going on and then I looked and then I just put a bet on one and he was like a 50 to one I'm 300 quid well he's not 50 to one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one th a th a th a to th a th a th a th a th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th right right right right right right right I'd th I'm tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to tho. I th. I th. I was I was I was I was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th the to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the put a 10 on it, I won 300 quid. Well, he's not 50 to 1 in that situation. Oh, did you put 5 each way? I don't know what I did.

It was 50 to 1, I think he won, and I've got 321 pounds. Yeah, I think you put 5 pounds each way. Right. Yeah, that's what I've done there, isn't. But you's that's that's that's that's th. I that's th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. thi. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t t t t t too. t t too. t t too. t too. th. th. th. I th. I. I. I isn't it? Yeah that's what but you're still incredible amount of money to make out of basically. No idea what was doing. 50 to one. Every other one I lost. I've done it I was just picking names I liked. Of course. Your whole career is built on making money from Instinct and you've done it again. But yeah I just couldn't believe our pissed and rowdy of everyone was. Honestly, it was absolutely insane.

It was madness. And then we were sewing over and then I come home. I didn't feel hung over when I woke up in the hotel this morning, but then as soon as I saw my children, my brain nearly exploded. And then we got back. So what was that like? So it's been, it's about 30 degrees today as well as well, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, to, th, to, to, I, I, I, I, I's about, I's about, I's about, I's about, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. to. to. to. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th th th th th toaugh, th th th toa. toean, toean, toean, toean, th th th today as well, on it. So like, I've been sweating non-stop, whatever room I'm in, I'm sweating. And then I went and got the kids from school, brought them back, sorted them out a little bit.

And then Lou dropped it on me, because our youngest is starting in reception. We had to go to a parent's induction talk for an hour. And I'm in there, and I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just was just was like, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I just, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. it running down your back and the problem was I knew the answer to every question because my kids already at that school so it's for new parents of new starters and I was just there and then hanging out hanging out of your ass hanging out dripping off my nose I can smell it off me try to make a good impression of other teachers and I was like and then then all the questions and the the other the other the other the other the other the other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. I was the their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theachers and I was like and then all the questions and there's one broke and his phone went off right? The suit on right and his phone his phone what the ring tone was a police siren so we're sat in this whole hall thing like the room red dot all glass just beating down on us

the room had aircon but the aircon was like that I'm not got a facilities for this big man. Do you know that? Do you know that little clip? No. You don't know that one? You don't know that one. Of course. Okay, I'll find it you'll love it. You don't get it probably the idea. Not really. I struggle to see what it's about. Yeah. Facilities. thinks. Facilities for that big. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that little that little that little that little that little that little that little that little. that little. that little. that little. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. the th. th. the. thi. th. th. the. ththis clip you know this one from you know you know this people use it I don't think you have the facilities for that big man from uh no okay just a little thing on tip-top little things anyway yes it was literally dripping down my back and then basically all the questions all the questions from new parents are from parents working out, when's the latest I can pick them up?

That's all they want to know. One time I went, when can I pick them up? When can I pick them up? Then I have four, they're going in at four. Okay, there's an afterschool club, you can pay for them to be until six, and it's like, okay, any later than six? Have you thought about a balling school? Or did you want to say, you kid? Fucking, hell, I won't get out of six at this rate.

Oh my God. I hate those things, Rob, so much. And also, I feel so much, and also, I, I, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm so, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. th. the, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th done it every year for 10 years telling these people the same things. One of the questions was someone when they've got a little handbook thing like a little where that you're writing it what book they've read or if you go like, oh, had been a bit ill or was upset last night, might be tired today just a little notebook so they in their little I don't know what it's called this little little book thing and then they take it in with them and then they will put them in a thing and then the teachers go read them quickly just a double check if there's anything they should be made aware of yeah and then this guy goes yeah I'm just thinking though and is there any way there they'll don't want the kid to know about, then, oh yeah, because what they're going to do, they'll just invest underground on a new online portal, mate. Yeah, that's what's

going to happen. They'll just invent an app, shall they, for this fucking little, the fucking little school planner that's been in existence for 300,000 fucking years, that no, okay, you, in just in case, just in case, just in case, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, their their, their, their, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, the the the the the their, their, their, their, their. just, their. just, their. their. Just, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in case, in case, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just realized I'm probably going to have to look at his man in the eye and he might hear this because I'll see him on the school gates in September. I'm hungover and I'm tired and I don't care about fucking handbooks. In pissing off schools haven't you? Oh yeah they've got in contact again on Instagram didn't they that's that other school. So tell me about this? Well now so the Lou got lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo. L L L L L Loo. Loo got lo. Loo got lo. Loo got to go go go go got to to to to to to to the to to to to the the th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th got the to to to to to to to to to to told told told to to told to to told to for taking our dog on our lead to pick the kids up from gymnastics? Yeah. And then we got an email.

We've got an email that says, Dear Parents slash Guardians, subject is dogs in playground. This is a polite reminder that dogs are not permitted into school grounds at any time. What would it at any time? What could be? Only on the certain occasions. Signs are displayed tholeeageageageageageageageageageageageageageageageageageageage to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to, what could be... Only on a certain occasion. Signs are displayed around the school playground, however, additional signage will be added in due course. We thank you for your cooperation. And that said, dear parents and gardens,

it should have just said, dear Rob slash loo. Yeah. Oh, there's nothing worse. The email, we got one from the nursery that I felt we've led, you know when you know you've led to the to the email to all is a heartbreaking moment so I'd forgotten to say, just dropped my phone, I've forgotten to say that we're going to Wittstable, I'll tick to them on Monday morning. I was like, yeah, just say no, she won't be until Friday because we're going to Wixtable and they're like, that's fine and that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I'm that's. I'm that's. I'm that's. I's. I's. I's. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's not. I I I's not I's they. I's the they. I's the they. I's the the the the th. thi. throwne. throwne. throwne. th. that's that's th. theananananannenenenenenenenenenenenec. that's just just. I'm just. I'm that's fine. And then two hours later, just the email to Ohio, if you could just let us know if you are going on holiday,

because obviously we need to know numbers because of staffing. Just, and I was thought, this is me that's led to this friendly reminder for everyone else. This, is that sure? You've made them be friendly. It feels like a dressing down Rob. Yeah, you didn't need that in your state. I did. Do you know what? I'm only 60% sure that that email exists. So it wasn't just a figment of my imagination at that point. I think if you're a footballer, you'd be one of those ones that needed a little break like from the media or you know that sort of like go out on loan and get your head. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. I I I I I I I. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. I. I. Exactly. I. I. I. I. I. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I'm exactly. I that. I that. I that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm Daly Aya at Everton. Yeah. But yeah, also the gymnastics people then also replied on the thread. Oh, did they?

Yeah, saying, oh, we totally, we wanted to apologize in case you felt the emails aimed at you. We actually received four separate incidents of dogs being walked across two different sizes. What's the problem is? What's the problem is on a Saturday morning, if you're picking a kid up normally what people are doing is but the it's right by a park so you basically walk the kids to gymnastics then walk the dog around the park and then but they should add these are like pathetic little like family dogs on leads it's not like these fucking pit bulls that are and said, oh yeah and also, because also I said I'll get myself in trouble, I said on Instagram, might as well replace parents of gardens with

Lou and Rob, at least it's an email from gymnastics not asking for another five quid plastic medal. So then the keys are we run to gymnastics, goes, oh yeah we're really sorry about the plastic medals, we're actually talking to British Gymnastic society or whatever it's called about a new program and I was like I feel so bad now and then I'd like say grove and I said no need to apologize mate we know it's the school and not you guys kids love the classes and I've already sold the dog for middle money so we're all good so I sandwich that here a part I went like it's all good just put a bit on a try to make it a jokey what something to try to make something something something something something something What's happened? Something tell us just happened. Oh no what? I've never had this before. I don't hear my voice played back to me. Oh, why don't? What? Oh God. Are you hearing voices? Are you hearing voices?

Every time I was replying to you, I could hear it? Ah! Oh God! So, this is a tec. This is a awful It's awful. This is awful. This is awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. It's awful but we should reassure the listener. This is a tech issue, not his brain. This is a tech. This is a hundred percent. Imagine if you've got like someone listening to this, got you sectioned just from what you've been saying or got you like, hatch having an intervention. I know this is still not okay. Josh is not okay. I, it's Rob here. Gonna be doing the podcast of my own for a couple of weeks. I can't carry on like this. Okay, so you're...

Not the first time I said that this week. Okay, right, okay. So the tech issue is that. You can hear yourself back. Oh, I'm back. I'm thear. Yeah, I'm today. Yeah. that's it. the th. the, I'm th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the th. the th. th. the the th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the the th. to th. the the to to to to to to to to carry. to to to to carry. to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to., yeah. That happened to me once. Yeah, you've unmuted yourself, haven't you? I've unmuted myself on the great time. Well, we should say thank you to Emma, who's been dropped in the deep end because Michael's got a septic high. I hope Michael's all right. I hope he's alright. I hope he couldn't do it to your eyes close, mate. He's, he's, he went to A&E, he went to A&I in fact. I, in fact.

We, we got, we got, we, so, comedians cannot process anything that's difficult. So, me and Tom did a goggle box, right? We're on goggbox. And, um, there's a one bit in it, where it's like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th. It's like, th. It's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th goggle box, right? We're on goggle box. And there's a one bit in it where it was like, you know, in Gogglebox, they slip in a sad story? And me and Tom were too oblivious to notice it was a sad story. So it's just started ripping the piss out of the people. And then I was like, no, look, Tom, we just need to just can't laugh at this bit and then we just sat there in silence because we couldn't speak because Anything we had to add would have been unacceptable But yeah, I hope Michael's okay. Yes, so do I do I want some more listener feedback? If only if it's good. Yes, it's sort of I'd say it's a feedback of two halves So you know my uh mate Alan does driving to a tour show to me sometimes I think he's driven you and a window I I I I I I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd the the the the the to I'd the the the the the the the the to the to the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told say to to to to told to to to to to to to to to to to told say I'd told say I'd told told told told told to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too their toe toe their toe toe to to to toa to toe to to to to to to to to th driving to tour shows for me sometimes. I think he's driven you and a window cleaner as well.

You need a good window cleaner in South London. Alan's your man. I don't know how he operates. I think he's just got. He's just got. If you want Alan's, if you want Alan to clean your windows, just email, Michael, hello, to his mobile number. That's all we've got. Anyway, he said, because he's a guy I told you about, or spoke about Shih Tzu's, they're game little fuckers. Anyway, he's obviously been

listening to the podcast because he, he messaged me, Shih Tzu, you fucker. That's all I've got for him. So as you found this week Robert Rob, it's gearing up for next year's schooling. Yes, so yeah, so I'm in quite relaxed position because we've done it before, we know what's going on, but it's your first time of reception for your daughter. Yeah, so do you want to hear a story about Tom Crane messing up on the WhatsApp group, in the first minute of the WhatsApp group? Oh yes, please the WhatsApp group. Oh yes please, oh yes, the WhatsApp group, a bit of advice, this is my bit of advice though, right, for the WhatsApp grouping is going hard, going early, organize a drink or go to a

drink, but then you can then withdraw and then you've you're not hiding away. Everyone knows you are. You've said hello, you've done your bit. And then if you know you can go back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back out of them. I'd still play football with all my, the football dads. I get on really well of them, but you've got to put a bit of effort in early doors, I think. Yeah, well. Tom Crane, not got the confidence just to send a straight message. So the WhatsApp group starts of his new school. And is it's the son's going in September? Right. So if you take say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, the the, the, their their their their their their their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to be to to to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th.. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. the. the. thoooooooooooooooom. their. the. tooomorrow, tooom. too. to. to. to. to. so if you take say it's a class of 25 or 30, you're looking at

there could be 60 parents on that group. Yeah, exactly. So the group begins and everyone's writing things like hi, I'm you know, whatever, Carol the mother of Steve and Steve and he is in this class, yeah. All right. So where is he going to school in Belvedere? Is he? Carol and Steve? So it's Belvedere in 1976, this school, yeah? And then Tom decides to add a little bit of colour. Hi, and then he's gone in with, hi, everyone, I'm Tom, and my boy Charlie is starting in this class in September. In other news, I'm currently sat with an office fan

pointing at my head, as this weather is too much for me. Oh, I don't need that. You do not need that. It's not about you, it's about Charlie. It's not about your head at a fan. Anyway, no, no, no, it's all fine. And then his friend says um text him

directly. He's, he says that shit you'll chuck him a laughing emoji. Yeah so he's got someone on the inside trying to okay. So he's got some yeah so to say just to calm the situation down I'll check you a laughing emoji because you've killed the group basically. He's like kissed him trying to try to revive it and he replies to her thanks th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Thanks that. Thanks that. Thanks that. Thanks that. Just to to to to to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to to to to say to say to say. Just to say. Just to say just to say just to say just to say just to say just to say to say to say to say to say to say to say just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the he. I I he. I he. I he. I he. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he. He's he. He's he he he's to to to to to tothat she's going to try to revive it. And he replies to her, thanks to that I really owe you one. But he instead replies that on the main group. So, okay, so she privately messaged him saying I'll stick an emogeon for you. She hasn't done that yet. She hasn't done that yet. Oh my god it was bad if she had done it that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's just just just just just just just just just just thi's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's, thi's thi, thi's that yet. She's done it yet. Oh my God, it was bad if she had done it.

That is awful. He's now replying to himself in a day ago. So now the offer of emoge is gone. That's useless to him. She's the one who's written before him in the group as well. So he's hearted her message on the group. Hearted as well. her message on the group. Her message saying, get this, you know, she has then sent him a screen grab of a different WhatsApp group in which someone screen grabbed his message and

said, what's the deal with Tom Crane? I thought we're going to have to move, do we have to move from WhatsApp for that. That's going to be long for me now. Oh my God. Oh that's horrible. How's he feeling about that? He's not a good space. He hasn't got the same doctor as you, is he?

Oh that's bad, isn't it? That is bad. Oh God, I had a question, Josh. Oh my God, he's removed, I've just got a message from him, yeah? Because one of the problems is obviously he'd hearted the message. Oh, you then deleted both of his messages. So basically what? What? Oh, that's what?

And he's hearted the message from the person above him by mistake. And he's removed that heart and deleted both of his messages. That's weird. That group, that group will never, nothing that'll ever happen on that group surely. Oh my God. Oh my God, I feel, I'm feeling that is all. But then I'll be like, hey, I'm that Tom guy from the group.

That'll be the parents yet? Well, some of them at the nursery. That's why he knows the one. You can't do banter on the group until you've met him, I don't think. It's just not the place for that. I know, like, we did the walk around of our school. And they were like, when the year starts, there'll be a parent's megalash night out. They'll be they they they they they they they they they they they they didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They'll their their. They'll their. They'll their. They'll their. Yeah. They'll their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They they. They they. They they. They they they they they they they'll their. They'll their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they'll th. th. th. th. they'll their their their th. their they'll their their their their their their their their their Megalash. I've added that myself. Megalaya, right Johnny Depp. You'll be in the corner strung out on salt. I'm sleeping pills.

With a mega part of wine. The doctor says I need to have two big wines before bed. So, um, so I did think that that is a night when I have to be careful. So yeah, I, I, uh, so we had that night. That's a, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the, the the, the, the the the the the to the to to to to to to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the th. You, th. th. th. that, that, that, that, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the to, the, the, the, the that, think that that is a night when I have to be careful. So yeah, so we had that night, that's a good night that, but it's awkward at the start, but then you just have to keep the drinks coming and break the ice. Yeah. Where like, so then, and then there is, then you've got material. What Tom's tried to do there is create a running joke by using the weather, which, which, which, which, which, which, th weather, th weather, th weather, th weather, th weather, th weather, th weather, the, the, the, the, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a that's a thi, thi, thi which is good he's trying to break the ice he's try to make it not small talkie but it's not a strong enough in it's a bit odd and then what he did then as well was reply to himself delete the

messages and heart something and unhearted so he's had a major error but what you got wait till that yeah I think we've new school wait the night out and then just let the night happen the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I I I I'm is is is is is is is. they. I I was I was I was I'm they out then just let the night happen and something will come up. For us it was Mike was like talking about like yeah I'd love to go drink I used to have like at uni I was a big drink like it was fun going out drinking at least to love it that's what I've a try and that's what I'm. Because also it's quite exciting to have a quick pint with people when you live all over London or all over the country of your friends and stuff. So it's quite good to have a group of people who can have a quick pint with. And he wasn't really drinking though.

Because he was saying, it's great. Because it was great. I'd be great. I'd not have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have a to have to have to have a drink. It's. It's. It's. It's to have to have a drink. It's to have a drink. It's like, oh, he was like, yes, he's great. But he didn't drink, he weren't drinking properly. And that's when I said, like drink. And I said, he was, come himself a binge drink or something like that. And he still had his Guinness.

I went, hurry up and I haven't drink your drink, you're stuck with. No, you can't. You just don't. And then when you're all there and then it's sort of become a bit of a thing. And then he did a tequila and he squeezed lime in his eye, didn't they? Oh my guy. Liam I love Mike, he's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, t, and, t, and, t, t, t, and, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t. t. t. t. t. t. ta, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and want to be, I know Mike listens, I don't want to be arse but I've still never seen anyone in text or in real life laugh at that. But I, I,

in what it's almost a Stuart Lee level, you know, sort of commitment to a punchline, I stand by him and now I'm at that point now where I've not laughed for so long on it, I think I will start to find it funny. When he does it in text next time, give him like six laughing emoges. Okay, I'll do that, yeah, and then delete it and then reply to it and hiya. But, Mike's lovely. But I think that's the thing, everyone some people want to be more involved in others and that's fine, but I think it's more people being nervous about making a bad impression and then what I sort of offered up was I'm just going to be the worst one here and then everyone I still feel better. Yeah.

And you know what, you took one for the team? Do you know what Rob, another technical problem? No what's what's what's? What's? What's? Rob? the thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? What, tho? What, tho? thi? What, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to tho, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, I tho? What, I I th. What, I I I I I th. What, I I I th. I I I th. I I thi? I I thi? I thi? I thi? I thi? I's thi? I's thi? I's thi? I's thi? I'm thi? I'm tho? tho? I'm tho? thoooooooooo? I'm thoooooo? thoooo? tho? tho? tho? th, what's happening now? I'm on 2% I've just got to go and get my charger. Okay. Don't make me sing silent. Go quick then, go quick. Oh for fuck sake Josh, right. Well I'll do some, I'll get my small business shoutouts ready. We've got Alan the window cleaner. We've got Alan the window cleaner from South London. If you want your windows cleaned in the Bromley area I think these are based Alpinsenway let us know. Yeah so basically if you're the window cleaner email hello at parenting hell dot code UK I think that's the email address I don't know any of this and we'll give you his phone number which has got to be

the most long winded way to do a small business shout up. How you getting on Josh that one percent you did well there because I can the th th th th th th th th th th I I I I th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th the th th the th thi the thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the' the' the' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the thou the only thean thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. the. I the the the the the to be the most long-winded way to do a small business shout-up How you getting on just that one percent you did well there because I can still hear you And that's just scrambling around? Oh barrel the cat update. We need to give a barrel of the cat update Josh Josh, I'm back. Yeah, people think your cat's dead. What knows the cat's not dead? No, no, no, the cat's not dead. No, no, the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's not the cat's not the cat's not the cat's not the cat's the cat's not the cat's not the cat's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not. that's not? the cat's not? That's not the cat's not the cat's not the cat's not? That's not? That's not? No, no, no, no, the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's not the cat's not the cat's not the cat's not the cat's not dead's not dead's not dead. the cat's not dead. the cat's not dead. the cat's not dead. the cat's not the cat's not the cat's not. You're out of breath now, you may? No, no, my cat's fine. Well, I've got to take her to the vet at 8.30 tomorrow morning. She's got to be flushed out again, and they've got to check her bloods. Do you know what? What is it like being showbys, Josh? guy that's on the telly. Well at 830, well 8 because it takes half an hour to get to Wanstad. I'll be driving out to Wonstad to put her in overnight. She's getting a bloodstone like Keith Richards. She has to do it every three months now. Just to check for the insurance

for the big tours. Yeah exactly. No, so small business shout out. At the moment we haven't got them because Michael's been rushed to A&E so we haven't got them. So I'm doing Alan, the window cleaner in Spromley. If you want him to do your windows, email hello at lockdown parenting.co. UK and we'll send you his mobile number. I don't really want to read his mobile number because I think too many people listen. Yeah, he'll have to change number. But if you do want a window a a a window not just doing it to annoy him, let us know and I'll send you his number. So we've got Alan the window cleaner and this one is from Claire, right? So Claire, which I think is a very good thing she's done, I'll find her on Instagram as well. She is pitching. We've got a book out, haven't you? The Parenting Hell Book out, we're on tour as a book, the book, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, their, their, their, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. So. So. So, thi. Soooooooooooomoomorrow, thi. And, thi. And, thi. So, their, their, their, well. Yes we're on tour as well. We're on tour. And we're on tour in October and we're on tour in spring? Yeah, next spring we're on tour. And the book's coming out. So this is Claire, right? So if you go to, so this is a shout-out. Claire who is, does personalized prints and she's at A-N-E-E-C-D-Doodles and she and she's and she's- and she's- and she's-and-and-and-and-and-and-S-S-S-S-S-S and she's-S and she's-S and she's-S and she's-S and she's and she's-S and she's and she's and she's and she's and she's and she's and she's and she's and she's and she's and she's and she's the-s and she's the- the- the- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the-and-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S the the the the the the the the the-S-S-S-S-S-prin trie. triease. triease pri. trie. trie. trie. trie. th th th th th th th th th thec Doodles. A-N-E-C

Doodles and she's a brilliant illustrator and she basically did a great video pitching to be the illustrator for our book. Unfortunately our book doesn't have illustrations. However she has done loads of illustrations for us and if you want anything illustrated you can get her to do it but yeah she's a she's really good little doodles. I don't know if send them she sent them to my gig in chat them so they're really they're brilliant and but we're not having any illustrations in the book if we do do a book that needs illustrations then we'll give you a shout but we don't at the Hell story as well.

Yeah, stick it on the parenting story as well as well as well as well as the right word. Very nice. So that's a small business show. Oh it's been up and it's been up and you know that's a the producer was to rush to hospital. You've been unwell I've the the un well unwell unwell unwell unwell. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin unwell. I thin' th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've the story. I've the story. I've the story. I the story. I's the story. I's the story. I's the story. I's the story. I's the story. I's the story. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm the story. I'm the the story. I the the the the the the thin. I thin. I th. I th. I thin. I th. I th. I th. I thin. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the Yeah. And you know that's life. We're not perfect Rob. As much as people might have thought that during some episodes. We show that. I don't think anyone's ever felt that. Oh, that was the question I was going to ask. At what age as a dad, do you... At the moment, if I sit down on my own, Josh, in the quiet I'll instantly fall asleep. Well, there's not not the weak the weak the weak the weak the weak the weak the the the that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi thi thi the the thi the the the the the thiaaugh. Wea thi thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that, there's not the week to ask me. Absolutely dagger to my heart that. Cheers mate. Okay, yeah, yeah. I'll ask that question a couple of weeks maybe. Yeah. We'll get, we'll get, oh, I'll tell what, something else we're doing that's a bit stupid. Or not, or not, a stupid feel like old people? Look, the girls keep asking for songs that that they hear like at school or the their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to toooooaa, toa, toa'''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, too, too, to tha asking for songs that they hear like at school or

from other people. I don't know how pop culture happens for young people but they've been asking for some Sean Mendez stitches and all these songs I've never heard of and I don't know how they've heard of them but they know every word and do like dancing to them. So Lou has liked a couple of them. Do you know what Lou started listening to? You know the now, that's what I call music, 153? I didn't know it was at that number. Well, I don't know what number it is up to, but she's been listening to them to find all the latest songs.

Lou's got into the pop charts. Yeah, but like, as I'm like, as like, as a mum. So she's just been listening to now that's what I call music. It's up to 111 I think. Oh wow and are you gonna do it as well? Well yeah I've been listening to a few bits and bulbs mate. Yeah yeah you've got your finger on the pulse. Not really but yeah she's been doing that but I think that's quite an old parenting thing to do. Yeah do you know what it's nice when to do. you do it the th. th th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the to tho to to tho th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thooooooo.'s leave it there, Rob. Leave it there. Right, well, see you on Friday. See you on Friday. I hope you feel better, Josh. Me too.

I really do. Okay, right. See on Friday, everyone. Bye. Bye.