Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP44: Josh Pugh

Episode Date: July 1, 2022

S04 EP44: Josh Pugh Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Josh Pugh.You can find Josh on instagram: @joshpughcomicAnd his Edinburgh show 'Sausage, Egg, Josh Pugh, Chips & Beans' is on at 14:10 from Wed 3rd August at Monkey Barrel Comedy. Thanks, Rob + Josh.BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookWe're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK?Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there...ON SALE NOW 14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena19th April 2023 - Nottingham20th April 2023 - Cardiff 21st April 2023 - London (The O2)23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley)28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply. Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parent in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what is really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe.

Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hill with... parent in hell with. Josh, can you say Rob Beckett? Rock Beckett! And can you say, that's it, Rob Beckett? There we go. Hi, You love her, there we go. Hi, so. You love her, there we go.

I do, don't I. You do, you have a certain. I do, don't I. You do, you have certain little, somebody studied linguistics. You have a certain few little phrases you use a lot. I know, I do fall back on the same kind of troops, don't I? Hi, sexy Rob, sexy Josh and sexy Michael. Yes, please. This is my very excited two-year-old Joshi. We live in Newbree with my seven-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-o-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-lo-s-s. th-s. th-lo-lo-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. thozy-s. thoomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomom. th. th-l. th-s. th-n. th-n. th-n. th-n. Hi. Hi. Hi. in Newbury with my seven-year-old Oliver, four-year-old Sophie and husband Steve. I was born in... Oh am I guessing?

Oh no, Essex. I have an Essex twang which someone wants confused for being Australian. I absolutely love the podcast and have got my mom friends to listen to. I was a bit behind an episode so to catch up I would listen at increased speed. Oh which was entertaining especially when Josh had taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taked taked to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to toeole. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm to to to to to to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thea. the thea. toe. toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm entertaining especially when Josh had taken the sleeping pills. I think your influence as well as I bought a puddle jumper for our holidays. Thank you for being so relatable. Haley aged five hundred and four months. There we go about 40. I was thinking everyone keeps asking about them puddle jumper things for holiday and they are really good but I was thinking well maybe we should bring out our own puddle jumper merch and I thought oh no no no th th no th no th no th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thu. I thi thi thi thi thi. I thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thin. I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thinn' thinn' thin thin, I are really good. But I was thinking, well maybe we should bring out our own puddle jumper merch and I thought, oh no fuck that, imagine the safety guidelines.

Oh my, that's just knocking out and the kids fucking struggling in a bowl. Oh my god. It's not worth the asset. Imagine having to put out of the statement. Hello and Michael to parent and hell. do not use it. We will give you your money back. Yeah, we unfortunately there was there was a translation error with the Chinese factory and when we wanted loose neck written on them they put on a loose strap. We're very sorry about this but please dispose of them or send them back to us. But yes let's leave that

leave that as much. Also we are going up to seven episodes a week in an the p puddle jumpers. So... And if you could all please send the link to this podcast to any family or parenting WhatsApp group to increase numbers, we could do with your support at this difficult time. Because not only have we got no money now, we are having to pay back 300 billion in compensation. How are you, Josh?

I'm all right, yeah. It's Friday, it's Friday. It's Friday, it's Friday. It's Friday, it's Friday. Do you know that? That one with a man dancing out the car? How do you not know things? What do you feel your day with if you're not scrolling on Instagram or TikTok? Well, what do I feel my day with? Yeah, do you read coffee?

Do I read? Do I sit and think? No, I, um, I parent. Are you parent? Or I, if I'm looking at my phone, what's app group, a big on a WhatsApp group, yeah, you've got a lot of them, haven't you? That's a lot of admin for you. That's your mind, a big name on a WhatsApp group, you know, I like to be leading the chat. You are, I'd say, and all the WhatsApp groups, I'm going with you, you're bringing the screen grab of Twitter of something being weird. And what I'd like to do, get a screen grab from another WhatsApp group, move it to another WhatsApp group and make myself the central cog of that WhatsApp group. Like a drug dealer that's cutting it all up with like receptors and sending it around. Exactly.

I know what you're up to. Good, well Josh, I've got a few boomer stories. Yes, please. Before we bring in our guest. Hi your sexy tarts, Rob and Josh. Yeah, thank you very much. Yeah, I don't mind it. That's from Megan. My best friend, born in 1987, was so excited when her first tooth was taken by the tooth fairy that the next time she lost a tooth,

she wrote a lovely little note to go under the pillow with it. The note thanked the tooth fairy for working so hard to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to th the th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho thoen tho thie thian thoen thoen tho the the tho thoen thoen tho tho thian thian th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th their th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th their thoen, thoen, tho...... thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooen... their their the children's teeth. It's very cute, isn't it? And asked her what she looked like. In response, her boomer dad drew a horrifying, scratchy black barrow sketch of an insect-like creature with bulging eyes. Oh my God. Bulging eyes like a fly, huge fang sticking out of its mouth and big hairy wings. She found it under a pillow the next morning and was obviously completely terrified to ever lose another tooth. Oh my God. Completely refusing to wobble them when they were wobbling. She even hid ones that fell out thinking a creature would return when she was asleep. Oh my word that is brutal. Her dad found it hilarious and still laughs about it now when we bring it up. Classic Boomers

Megan. That is horrible. That's incredible. I'd reckon that dad still thinks that's fine. Yeah the that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the t. t. tttte. te. the the te. te. the. te. the. te. the. te. the. the. the the the reckon that dad still thinks that's fine. Yeah, I mean, you can't back down, you can't say it was me. There's no way of getting out of her believing that without her finding something else out. Still finding it funny or he could have done another one just saying only joking and then like a pretty little fairy. Or I've just heard a Ricardo arrive Rob. Okay well one more and you can unpack it before you get started. I was gonna say can you spin this out a bit so Rosa's do all the unpacking. Anyway so boomer school in this is called Josh. Yeah back in primary school around nine or ten the whole school gathered in the hall we had no idea what's happening. As we all sat down all the teachers gathered at the front of the hall and began to tell us that the world was the world the world the world the world the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I...................................................................................................................................................... the. the. the teachers gathered at the front of the hall and began to tell us that the world was about to be attacked by aliens. What? And it was going, and the world was going to end and we would all die. Fuck off. We were to collect our younger siblings and go straight home where we would be met with our parents to prepare for the worst.

No. This is nine or ten. As you can imagine we were all beside ourselves. Children were sobbing everywhere. Kids immediately ran out to find their brothers and sisters. Some kids ran home immediately. It went into bedlam. After a few minutes, they quietened everyone down and got all the kids back and explained, we were only joking. What? Now we want you to all go away and write about how that made you feel. Wow! Right to who a primary school teacher, I can only imagine the daily mail headlines nowadays. But seriously, what a bonkers way to get children to write.

That is incredible. That's incredible. that's a today. That's one of my favorite boomer. That's incredible. That's a good one, in it? How would you have reacted in that situation? I'd have been petrified. I'd have a burst in tears immediately and then I've got probably not written anything and went home, sad. Like most children would react, I think. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

A mental thing to do. Great, yeah. Just, do you know what? Very funny man. What we're gonna do? I'm not gonna give it any and try and say what happened during it, because between me and you, this was recorded first. Stop ruining the illusion, Josh. Sorry. Basically, he might, he might, it might, I think it will be funny. Yeah. We can't tell you if this is good. It will be though. It will be though, though, though, though, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, though, or it will be that. Work it out on the length of the episode. Do your own math. That's how I work out if our Tuesday ones have been good.

The heartbreak when I see 36 minutes. What Michael's that to do with that turd he's polished. Right, anyway, enjoy Josh Pugh and we'll see her on Tuesday. Hello, Josh Pue and we'll see her on Tuesday. Hello Josh Pugh, how are you? I'm very well Josh Widdicum, how are you? Good, it's quite confusing isn't it? Because I don't often meet other Joshes. Yeah, but we should, with two of us, we should know, you know, if I'm addressing you,

yeah, if you're addressing. I think I'm going to have the bigger problem. Yeah, in many, in many, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the bigger problem. Yeah, yeah, in many ways we're fine. Yeah, that's a good point. What's your family set up, Josh, just to give people a picture at home. So it's at home, it's me, my wife and my baby boy, who is six months, nearly seven months. Oh, so I'm fresh. The fresh you enjoy.

The opposite of fresh, fresh to parenting. Yeah. Physically not massively fresh. He's stopped sleeping the last two weeks. Oh so you nailed it and now it's not nailed? Is it the regression stage? Is that it? Yes, they have that regression. It's tricky. He's kind of a maximum 45 minutes a go at the minute. Oh my God, Josh. Fishing God. How are you doing with that? Yeah, it's tricky, but then he'll just sleep all day. You know what he's just, he's got it.

Yeah, he's um. I think your problem is he's sleeping all day there, mate. With that, yeah, that's kind's kind of cause and effecting it. I went, um, I went swimming with him yesterday, he fell asleep in the pool. I was like, you've got this. Yeah, did he just sing or did he float? How does that work at that point? Yeah, the swimming's great. I don't know if you took yours when they were a little, but the swimming, it's um, it's magic. They're just kind of floating about and doing songs and but it's agony on the lower back as a quite a tall guy you kind of...

So are you not got a float for him then or is you just holding him? So you just holding him yes just about getting out of ball. You need to float, you need to float. I've got a float for you. How are you coping though? That's the issue at the moment for you and at the sleep. It's all right, but I can't I can't moan because my wife's doing more. That what I'm, what's actually bother me is not going to moan about not sleeping. So is she working or not working and looking off? What's the, how much? She's off, but he's a breastfed. So she, right. So she's only so much I can do th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to m moan. to mo. to mo. to mo. to mo. to mo. to mo. I to moan. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to mo. I'm to mo. I can't to mo. Mo. Mo. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't to mo. Mo. feel, do you, do you, because I used to feel like there's only so much I can do but I still feel I should show my face, do you know what I mean? I'll kind of sit up, well, it's kind of in my interest to wake up as well because I kind of, she's linked to my Amazon and she's in that, she's in that period where you know, you're just middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, middle, you're, middle, middle, you're, you're, you're, middle, middle, you're, middle, you're, you're, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, their, their, their, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, the, the, the, I should, the, the, I should, the, the the the, I, I, I, I, I, I should, I should, the the the the the the the the their, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, their, th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I should, thi. I should, I should, I should. Yeah. If I'm not there during that I'll just wake up to email saying thanks for your order and that's just different stuff from ours and she's

tried to solve the situation with. What was what have you had on the list? What's coming through? The song? Different like swaddle stuff, nasal things, like plugins. Ofthe thing you blow in their nose to get rid of snot? Just everything. Have you done that one? You suck, don't you? You suck the snot out. Yeah, I did actually try it manually as well. Yeah, it's horrible. Did you get it out? Tiniest bit, not worth it. So at night what are you doing when you're waking up just to kind of make sure she doesn't buy stuff of Amazon. So he kind of, um, um, down second break of Love Island. Yeah. He gets, he gets taken up. And then the last 30 minutes of Love Island is kind of like stirring so we're up and down to him.

I think he likes the colors and the stings on Love Island. Yeah. Dumb, thu, dum, that, all that. What time is like, sorry to be this guy? Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, the the the the thumb, that or that. What time is like, sorry to be this guy. Oh, fucking loose in your net, you're stupid, fucking idiot. Fuck me, you don't watch Love Island. What are you watching? No wonder you're miserable? What? Come on, look at you, you've got to watch Love Island. Watch other people that having

a worse time than you makes you happy. That's how it works. I don't, I don't want to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch Michael to watch Michael to watch Michael to watch Michael to watch Michael to watch Michael to watch Michael to watch Michael to watch Michael Michael to watch Michael to watch Michael Daughters. Michael Daughters Owen, Mike Lowein's Door. So he's on at 9, right? So he's going down about half 9. So weirdly, actually, he goes down at the same time as the contestants go to bed, because that's kind of halfway through the episode, right? So he's like in bed, like an infrared, watching him on infrared, they're watching like, the contestants on infrared having chats. But then he's up by the end of it and we kind of, yeah, it's hard, we've literally tried everything and it's kind of so hard not to have him, I'll just put him in the bed.

Do you know what? Yeah. Are you tempted? Yeah, well, I think after we've done it like ten times in the night, the night, times, times, times, times, times, ti.. , times in the night, by the 11th time I'm thinking if he's not, just having him in with us. Do you mean if he's not done it the first 10 times, what is it about this time which is going to make him?

Yeah. It's hard. It's really hard. Have you tried, have you had a sleep tried everything? This is the key. You've not even tried Love Island, Josh. Come on, we're all learning. So this is the key, Josh. They can give you advice on what you should be doing. Because this is how I learned that I shouldn't be getting up at 4.30 with my son to

watch the Paralympics. That was an error. She was like, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the tho, the the the the the the the the the the, the, th, the, the, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the the th, the th, the th, th, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, throw, throw, throw, thi. So, throw, throoooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, the th And I've been doing it. I don't know what the problem is it. Watch the main one. Don't watch that. She's really sort of big gammon woman on the phone. Don't be watching that. Can you ring you? Is she like a 24-7 thing where you can ring you in the morning being like, what the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? You speak to him, you totally dumb, because you don't listen to me. I mean I'm not saying it's a foolproof idea, I'm just saying, you said you've tried everything, you've tried sucking on his nose, but you haven't tried getting advice from somebody who knows about child's sleep. Is it very much the actions of a sleep deprived man?

Josh Pugh. We've got this, we've got this hour, it's called, it's like a sensor, if he stirs, it sets off white noise which is right next to him. Yeah, and that, that's supposed to set him again. But what keeps happening, I keep, a couple times I farted, it's set the, um, set the hour off and then that's woke him up. Yeah. So is he still in the cot in your room at this stage? Because it's about six, seven months you move him into another room, isn't it?

Yes, but he was, so he was in his own room, which my wife insisted on, like, needed to be finished and decorated before he was born. Yeah, so he was in there for about a week and now he's back in the next me just because It's easy to keep getting up and trying to set him again So it's one week in his own room and is that it do you think it's that the fucked it? I don't know. So it's like it's what works it was he used to be swaddled which you really like to sleep fantastic with that but now he can't swaddle him so he's kind of like, it's like his arms are waking him up, he's kind, it's a really, yeah. I shouldn't be laughing but it's, it is an awful time in your life. You're also, this is the first time you've been smug on a record for ages Josh because you've got a one-year-old. It's just taken me back because I'll be kind of through this bit and I'm the kind of idiot that's giving advice to people who were within this bit. It's like Josh Mark Pugh. Yeah. Do you like that pun? That's good pun?

Yeah. That's really good. You know what? That's really nice. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit MX. to the today scepahs, business platinum. But he wants to be asleep. He's not waking up, you know, like you're saying getting up at half four with him.

Yeah. He just wants to be held and... Have you considered to to to to to thiiiiiiiiiiiii, to to to to to to to to to thi. to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to be thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. toe. toea. ta. ty. ty. tomoooooooooooooooooooooooooom. the. the. doesn't want to get up. Yeah he just wants to be held and have you considered just holding him all night? Well my wife is pretty much done that a couple of times yeah it's like oh my god so how are you like you're not not as much up in the night as much but like this is quite a tough time for you in your career at this stage because you're I think you're you're probably own kid about the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. the the to. He to. He's to. to. to. to. to. to to. to. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to. to. to the the career at this stage because I think you're probably own kid about the same time as I admire kid and you're you're really coming through at the moment and like you know you're destined to be you know a household name it feels like from you know you're notice it when you talk to people who's really good or you hear like

it before I've not even seen you lived you. So you're at that point now, you're getting a thousand different offers to do these different things, but you can't really say no to anything yet because you're establishing yourself and you've got to make sure you've got your foot kept in the circuit so you don't look like you've gone to big time. You've got to make sure your end up to show the show is really good, but also these TV jobs keep in, either, either, either, their, their, their, their, their, their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.... Yeah, you, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you're, you're, you're, you're, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. to. tape. tape, tape, to. tape, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, you're, you're, you've got to say yes to everything, how are you coping to squeeze all that in and still be there to do the baby stuff? I think I'm an anxiety attack. Yeah, I, sorry to, I've made that worse. Yeah, that is like how my brain is going. And then on top of that you've got also like be creative and funny. It's one thing doing the jobs, you know. Yeah. But it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, one thing doing the jobs, you know. Yeah. But it's it's just, yeah, but you know, it's at the same time it's a blessing to have him and stuff. But at the same time, we're ready that about, Josh. No, we know that. We take that as red. But yeah,

it's a difficult time for you from a career point because this is sort of the busiest you'll ever be kind of thing as you're on the way up. But yeah it is it's busy man it's busy and it's what can you do you can't I'm up for just letting him cry a bit but my wife's not into she's not into trying. Well we had to do cry out in the end because we didn't want to do cry out at all it was quite against it. We had to in the end because the that. the th of th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the the end. the end. the the the the the the the to, to, the end, the end, the the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, the to, the the to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What, th. What, th. What, the. What, the that, the that, the that, try, try, try, try, t so, but then afterwards it was nice, actually the long term is your child sleeps longer and better because they just get used to it. And it's, and they're not, because he's not having a great time, if he's falling to sleep in the swimming pool, he's not having a relaxed night as it is. So it's not like he's waking up loving life after all this being away a night. it might be worth a go but we were like you know that was one thing that me and Lou said we'd never do and then obviously before you know it you're in there like me at Ocean Beach last week refused to ever go back there was in there a day later so what I've learned about life is it's quite good

to not have opinions or principles and just sort of accepts your fate. But it's mad how you hold these, it's I know we'll have the same thing with like tablets and iPads like at the minute we're dead against it but I know when they get to a certain age we could be out on this. It's absolutely coming. Do you and you've been on holiday with him haven't you? Yeah we have yeah we went to the tenure for a couple of weeks that was that was good. He's at an an an an an the age at the age at the age at their th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've th. I've th. I'll th. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I I th. I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's thi. It's just just just just just thee. It's theea. I'm to thooooooooo. That was, that was good. He's at an age where you can just park him in the sun. Not in the sun, that's the opposite way you go. I wonder if he's not sleeping, poor little red bastard, burnt and it was brilliant because they're just in the buggy. They can't walk, they don't want to walk, they just push them around and then you sit in the sun, sit on the beach, sit by the pool and they're happy in the buggy being fed and the cues, it's quite, and I'm all up for exploiting that as much as possible, do you know what I mean? It's, yeah. It's a good age to go away with them.

Yeah, and I think what I would say is though, Josh, you probably won't be able to enjoy the holiday now. Yeah. So you've had that's that, just that, just that, just that, just that, just that, just tho tho tho tho tho tho to the to to to to to their to remember, thrown, to tho thus, tho tho their tho their tho that that, tho, their tho, their tho, their their their their tho tho, I'm their their their their their their tho, tho, that, that, tho, that, tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho o' thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. that's, th of age is probably the next point that you'll be able to enjoy it. But I don't want to bring you down anymore. No. Surely something bad happened on the holiday didn't it? Come on. Tell me this. Because I was, I was enjoying, you know, your bad sleep. But now after quite an intense holiday, I'm feeling what gets me? And this is, I hate carrying stuff. I hate holding things.

And when you've got a baby, you constantly, you've constantly got your hands full or you, and I struggle with that a little bit, which is such a... Are you normally just a phone and wallet and keys guy out the door? Yeah, totally. I used to have a school bag, didn't take a bag to school. You just took a bag to school. I used to put my books in other people's bags. That's why it's so quick at reading. Fuck carry them then I'm. Yeah, I was just, yeah, taking real limities actually, but just kind of, I don't want to carry stuff. So, I, I, I, I the book, I the book, I the book, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put, I used to put, I used to put, I used to put, I used to put, to put, to put, to put, to put, to put to put to put to put to put to put th, the books the books the books the books the books, the books, the books, the books, the books, the books, the books, the books, the books, their books, their books, their books, tho, their books, their books, their books, their books, their books, tho, to the. to to used to have a pen in my pocket yeah I'd have the odd booklet I just roll up and put my pocket but then most of them they just be in other people's bags and just give them in when we get in there. That is a piss take that stuff.

What was your issue with school bags? Just didn't want to carry anything Josh you don't want to bet Josh the thus. But that that that that that just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to be to be to be to be to be to be or in there not even got mass that day. Yeah I had a bag of the file of fact saying fuck it why not just enjoy ourselves. When them poor long ones on the, like they've become the apprentice. Yeah, little wheelie laptop case. There was nothing bad happened on the holiday at all Josh it was all fine flight okay. Four hour flight it's hard work tenure. yeah I underestimated the flight you know it was okay we're delayed on the way back but he just he didn't he didn't poo actually this was problem he didn't poo for a week leading up to it oh no that he just just flight yeah I don't think it was nervous about the flight

I think it was a coincidence yeah yeah yeah then we got on the outbound flight and he just loosened right up oh Oh really? Yeah and he was a massive awful one. Yeah it was cutting loose. I think that's a good thing though because I found when I was taking my son to Greece that that taking them to change them gave me something to do with him on the flight, do you know what I mean? Because you're desperate for activities. Yeah, so great. I that is a low moment in life, isn't it, when you consider it? I mean, I'm a man that's got kids. A childless person listening to this must think you're fucking insane.

Isn't it good when the little Gremlin you're holding shits itself because they're clearing its shit out of its ass on a plane gives me something to do. And that's under the banner of activities. Wouldn't want to be on a stag through your leading, Josh. Okay, so we go to the local old people's home and wipe some asses for an hour, and then off we go out for a drink. Even to be the old people's home, Rob. That's made the whole thing too graphic. It's better than than than than than th than th than th than th than th than th than th than th than th than th th th thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thi thi thi the thi thi. It's better. It's better. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thiolioliolioling it thioling it thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thin. I'll thin. I'll thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. the. I's thin. I'll thin. I'm thin. I'm tha. I'm thin. I'll th graphic. Well, it's better than going to random children's and wiping their ass. Yeah, I suppose it is. I suppose it's right.

Also, the changing table in the plane is so small. It's incredibly difficult as well. It's an untenable situation, but I enjoyed the challenge. It's five minutes when they're shouting at you. And you don't, you can't see see people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people to the to to the to their the. I their the. I the. I their that that's that's that's that's, I'm. It's, I'm. I's, I's, I'm. It's, I'm. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to. It's to. It's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm but I enjoyed the challenge. It's five minutes when they're shouting at you and you don't you can't see people pissed off because you're on your own. Yeah you're kind of in like a Mr and Mrs kind of like soundproof truth. Yeah exactly. I get a bit worried though that there's going to be turbulence at the point where I'm not holding the baby and the baby fucking launches in the air and they have to try and catch it like I could fall in from a building. How's the relationship not that I mean not to go too deep but has it affected your relationship with your wife

like because you're both very tired how you're dealing with it we're good I think what what what the struggle is is kind of he'll really be into her for a bit and then he'll really be into me for a bit and it's about the other one dealing with with that a little bit, do you know what I mean? When he, like it's quite, I'm actually quite relieved when he only wants loosened there. Yeah, oh yeah. It's only you can settle him today so I can't really get involved. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah there's nothing better than that is that. And they'll get to the age, I know this is bad, where they'll wake up in the night and they'll call for one of you.

When it's not you, you have to just go, let's not, I'm sorry about this, but it's really, it's not my problem. If I go in, if anything, it'll make things worse. Josh or is she off now or is she on paternity? So she works in a school, she should have teach her sister, she's going back in December. Right. You kind of imagine going back to work as he is now, but obviously it'll be another six months older. Yeah. You can't really imagine what it'd be. And that'll be a different challenge. So I had to go, I had to go to a hen do the week. You were sorry. So because he's he's breast he won't have he won't drink out of a bottle yet. Yeah. So she went on this Hindu. I had to go kind of adjacent to the Hendoo. You know what,

you know somebody swims the channel and have that support boat next to her. I was kind of one cafe behind where this Hendoo were going. And she kept having to knit back. So she nipped back, did she nipped to you or did you go to the hen? She, no, she, so I went in once during the brunch. And I thought, this is too much. Excuse me getting out of the way of inflatable cocks. Can you grab a bit of milk for this one, please? But wasn't the buff out of theempted to put a little coxtra on her nipple? So that was his first hand.

Is that too laddy? Was that too much? I didn't know what the line is. So it's kind of just like in cafes. But obviously cafes shut quite early. So like in a restaurant there. So what's it was like in a restaurant there? How many breastfeeding visits were there in total?

So this was a thing, it was actually fine, we actually could have stayed at home. But it was more for Teresa or her, I mean, making it sound like a mad anxious. No, no, but with your first kid, so head and do you want to, you'd rather sit, you'd rather sit, you'd rather, you know, you'd rather, you'd essentially, you'd essentially, essentially, essentially, essentially, essentially, essentially, essentially, essentially, day with a child wandering around Lester and then to put your wife's mind at rest. The only the time she'd left him we'd got tickets to see Bastille in Birmingham. Yeah. We didn't even get into the gig because we had a call from the in-laws he was wailing and we wasn't stepping in so and we'd argued before we got out. We're both stressed about going and I was saying, oh let's leave it, let's leave it.

It's like, come on and we get there and oh yeah it was just. Then you remember you've got to watch Bastille? Yeah, yeah. There's got a relief when you laughed in a way. He didn't even make it. Well there actually queuing up it to be like searched and the phone went and it was like at the last, saved at the last minute. Are you touring or are you going to Edinburgh? What's your year looking like as a comedian? Yeah, so I'm going to go to Edinburgh in August, which would be another thing. I think they're going to come for a couple of days.

So you're for the month? I looked at it and to their try to stay they don't like it, and I don't really like them being there. It's a weird energy in it when you're kind of. Yeah. I'm not really, yeah, I'm not really, I'm not really. Yeah, I'm not really. Yeah, I've got a mate going to go home in the middle. I've got two days off in the middle I'm going to come back. Oh nice. It's like two weeks two days at home two weeks again basically. Yeah that's it.

that's it. And so what's going to happen in December have you got child care is going to me you in laws or going to go to a nursery or what's what's your plan. plan? plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan plan. so so so so so so to plan. So to to to the plan. So the plan. So to to the plan. So to to to to to to to to to to to their plan. So to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. So. So. So. So. So. So. So their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the their their that's. So. So. So. So. So. So we that's. So their their that's. So. So we've got two, so her family very helpful, not that my family aren't, but they're very... They're like, Uber, you're making it sound worse now, Josh. They're like super helpful. Really helpful. Yeah, almost to the point, it's intrusive, helpful. Oh, okay, so now you've pissed them both off, fair enough. So your family don't do anything, family does too much, okay? So, yeah, after this this this this this this this this this I this I this I this I this I thi thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, they, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they, they. they, they, they, they. they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to the? to to thea. thea. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, you're profoundly don't do anything, family does too much, okay? So yeah, after this I think I'll be having him. For you know, so yeah, he'll go,

it'll kind of work it out between us. And also my grandad's dead, good with kids. I'm like, I'm not gonna. I tell you what, that sentence cheered up off the three three three I don't know if we need this detail. My grandda's dead, so my nann will have a lot of spare time on around. But he'll like, he'll like take him and walks and that and he's, yeah. Yeah. That's a real key. If you've got family and friends around, it massively helps, especially, you know, that's how me and Lou did it.

I was away so much, and I don't think I've really realized how much sort of pressure I put Lou under it but if you've got family friends around that help it makes a huge difference. And I think you've got a big user like a manager uses their players yeah squad rotation yeah don't exhaust your start you know save them for a big the same say they're the same same then getting the sort of yeah the slightly less ones for the carabow cup you know the sort of league cup if it's not a big Yeah, couple of hours midweek chuck him to your ass at your midweek do I mean. Yeah, exactly Yeah, yeah, it's great. their own away champions league semi final. Yeah, it's great.to need this. So yeah, that'll help out and stuff and yeah, it's great. How was the pregnancy and the birth for you? Yeah, annoyingly, so she was annoyingly

fit and active all the way through the pregnancy to the point where the gym said to her like stop coming now to the classes, you've, you know, you're too far gone. Wow. You know, if I'm a bit lazy or sloppy one day, it kind of reflected awfully, I mean it's kind of... Imagine the gym saying you stop coming, you're too fit. Rob, you're too ripped, just stay out over a bit. Fuck it, you make it one feel bad, your body's so great. We're gonna have to buy bigger machines Rob if you keep. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's.. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. to th. th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the the. the thea. the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the thea.'re kind of have to buy bigger machines, Rob, if you keep... I do that humble brag on Instagram.

Well, I'm absolutely livid. I pay good money to come here, and now apparently my body's too good and I shouldn't be here anymore because I'm so physically fit. It makes you feel sick, but I'm not going to be sick because I'm so physically fit. So she was like, she was really good, and they, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, thi, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm thi, I'm thia, I'm thi, I'd thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm to to to to to to thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'm a thi.a.a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, I'd thi of the birth she was in I was basically just massaging her for like six hours straight just massaged like just like like wag like wagoo yeah just like my fist in at the small other back just like grinding like trying it was it's graft and the room is so hot Josh you can't say it's graft. But I've got a slight,

I've got a slight disc issue which none of the midwaves seem to take into. Look, I get like short term she's in agony short term. If you put a disc out that, you're talking years of rehab there. And you won't be a talk with years of rehab there. And you won't be able to talk with a baby down the line? This is what I was saying. But she was, yeah, the birth was. It's actually an amazing experience. I kind of, I was like a corner man for a box up between contractions,

I was kind of like giving her a drink, like kind of mopping a brow, give him a bit of, a bit of pep talk and sending the sending the back out there, do you know what I mean? To be absolutely pummeled? Yeah, you're blowing it kid. We had a training midwife in with us as well. Hmm. Always suspicious of that. Give me a proper one. Don't use my kid for the learning. But she was just like, well. Oh, I'm always suspicious of that. Give me a proper one. Don't use my kid for the learning. But she was just like a photographer. Because she was so new, would just like I just...

We had one of them. We had some, and she just got given the, she just gave my phone, and she just took loads and loads of photos that to be honest were too graphic. Oh God, yeah. Some of the memories that have been popping up on my widgets. Not the... And some of them are alive. If you go back, the pictures are, you know, those live pictures, oh my god.

Yeah, it's, it's my, but it was a great experience. And we had a, but then the doctor comes in. So the midwives are kind of all about the mom and what the mom wants. And a big part, as the man, you're kind of like, or what the birth and part, you're kind of advocating, you know what the good person giving birth wants. She's advocating a bit. Then the doctor just comes in and they're like just medical, no, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, to, the, the, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the medical like no do this now and it's kind of like it's a strange I can't on the on negotiating with his doctor he wanted to him do it apesiotomy what's that so that's when you cut you kind of cut the

vagina sorry that's immature yeah yeah so we laughing at that that's bad just you just just so you just said it's sorry how did you negotiate with it what what were you laughing at that. That's bad, you just said it's right. How did you negotiate with it? What were you saying at this stage? Surely that's not Josh's decision though is it? Yeah. It's not my decision but. Why was it asking you? Yeah, obviously, they're in the throats of battle,

aren't they? And I know she didn't want that at this point, so I've got to say to this doctor there. Yeah, no, I don't think anyone wants it. Leave it out, do you know what I mean? Leave it out? Did he leave it out? He left it out from it, yeah. And then they did after, he was, She made her point and was ignored by the medical professional.

Yeah, and then it's just kind of there and it's just like, oh it's mad. And then, well, I kind of, I wasn't that emotional at the time. I was obviously, I was emotional, but I wasn't kind of crying. Yeah. And then what, but then we kind of got in the lift to go back up to the ward. And I was like, he's just been in his first lift. And for some reason that really kind of tip me over there. He thought the world was at one room. Now he's coming to this and there's another floor to it. It just must be like. Yeah. And if you enjoyed lift, there's going to be in Dan Lester in about six months where he's going to absolutely love it, mate. But I just remember that being like a bit of like, oh, this is, this is all we knew was this little room. Yeah.

How he's in. Were you stoned at this point? And it was one of them, you know where you go in like, like, the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, the th. th. th. th. th. th. to be, thin, the the th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I, they. I, the they. I absolutely absolutely the the the the the th. the th. thin, thin, the. the. thean. to be a tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, th. And, then it opens up the other side yeah and I always like wow this is even I get a bit impressed by them and I've been in a class anyway but in many ways that's wasted on him because he's not been given the original normal lifts to make that kind of lift excited he's the only person that thinks that's what I listed next generation's had it it too easy double lift or even as an adult you go oh we th at you the you the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is tho th is th is th is thus tho th is th is th is th is th is that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thus thus the the thus the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi the the the thus, oh, we're turning around, I think. Oh, here we go. And then you're just on the ward then, it's just like, yes. But then I remember, you know, they come on doing the tests? You know, the tests, the hearing one, yeah. Just being like dead proud, like he passed the, done this test. And do you know, I remember picking, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, the their, they. they. they. they. they. the they. they. th. they. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. th. the. te. te. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. te. te. te. th you're you've played 50 times for England in the partially cited football team is that right? Yeah that's right you're an

international football. So how partially cited are you how what percentage of sight have you got? So now I think I've got about 15% to say I've got now which doesn't feel that low to me because I've lived it with it for you know so you've got only 15% site yeah so like I say if I'm having an eye test what's that 15% top bins oh yeah okay is that allowed Josh yeah yeah all right five percent wide yeah so only 15 percent that's but yeah so only 15 percent that's but yeah you've always had they it hasn't deteriorated over time it's been solid at a kid I've kind of got it as a kid and it's kind of got worse as kind of early 20s. Like, we had a really nice moment actually when he was first born.

I was kind of taking him to his nursery and kind of, I was like holding him and like the moon was coming this stuff. And I was telling my wife the next thing that the next day it happened again and I was like, oh come in and see what I mean. And it turned out that it was at the moon it was actually the neighbor's security light shining. It's going right to be like, it's still nice. It's still It's still nice. He ruined that for me me me me me me me me me me me. And so. And so. And so. the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's. thi's the the the the the the next. the next. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the t t t today. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It ah, it's still nice. It's still nice, he ruined that for me. And so does it affect parenting? So not, I can do, it's really nice actually talking about the swimming. So there's something he, like, he can see better than me already, which is mad. Really? Wow. He can do stuff better, but it's like, it's when throw like a blue, like, the toy in. Like I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. He's they. He's they. He's th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to do. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. th. It's. It's like, th. It's like, th th th th to. to. It's like, to. It's like, to. It's like, to. It's like, to. th th th th th th th th th when I throw like a blue like toy in and you have to go and swim and find the toy like and bring it back to the side. And the structure will chuck it in and I'm thinking where the fuck is that gone?

And like he'll spot it and kind of like reach and I'll kind of take it. And my wife, if my wife holds him and I'm of gets exciting and starts kicking and it's quite nice really yeah and um I've actually reading books to him in a couple years I might just have to kind of just add live a bit. Wife when I'm doing his bomb I kind of get so close it's like somebody inspecting diamonds I'm getting so close to it. Well yeah did you, you must have worried a little bit Josh Josh then about like, you know, say if it's got slightly worse in your 20s that like, you know, if I have a kid, if I don't have

a kid soon, like, you know, you've got to see your child and stuff like that. You must have been at the back of your mind that kind of worry. So I knew, I know the point, the point of that's, that any worse, like the bit of my eye that's going to deteriorate is deteriorated and this is what I've got. So it was more, it was more of an it, so he won't have it either, it kind of passes to the girls who can then, so the girls carry and the boys have it. So there's a couple of dads in England, so Captain is retired now, he's got two kids and they're just used to like walking places with him something he can't drive on or they're just used to they just fill in the blanks for you know if you watch it so as you know my wife just if we're watching TV she'll like she'll fill something in or she'll read a subtitle yeah but sometimes she gets it gets you get it wrong and it just throw the whole

context out of the whole film. I'm like tell me exactly, don't like abbreviate anything or summarize anything, read what is exactly on the... Yeah, it's definitely. So I can't be able to read the full subtitle. She just like shorthand it. And I'm like, is he definitely said that? Because he doesn't feel like something that character would say actually. We watched something and it was set in, she read it as North Umberland, but it was set in North Hungary. The whole series I'm like, this none of this

makes sense. No one's got to do the accent. Yeah, it was, I can't just out what she'd done. And I was like, I can't switch it up. Germain me come on you give you a chance man so do you watch what you watch a thing that was all subtitles and she's doing the whole thing so this is like I when it flashes up up at the start northumberland 1847 or whatever she wouldn't do that she wouldn't do like a whole sub tape at the start she might have done yeah yeah yeah yeah like the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the start the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the start she's the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is the the the the the the of the of the the thee theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee of theee of thee of the of the of the of the of th learn a language or stick with English films mate. Yeah that's it. No chance he's doing city of God all of it unless she gets burning bulgegees just read about it that's it. Is there anything you're like feel like you worry that you won't be able to do or it would affect or anything or I can find a way of most things sometimes

like so when we want a holiday actually like pushing him in the pram somewhere I'm not familiar with I was a bit like whoa the will be I'm sure there be things I haven't even thought of which were his clothes are well hard for me oh clothes yeah everything's white in neutral or so as is I can't see the size of on clothes I kind of as best I put them in order in the but also my wife isn't massively tidy so that that that that that that that that that th is the th is the th is the the th is the the they's they. to they. they. to they. th is to to they. I'll to to to be to be to be to be to be the they. I'm thi. I'm not to be to be to be. I'm not. I'm not. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is the th. I's is th. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I'm not thi. I'm not thi. I'm not thi. I'm not thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm not the, but also my wife isn't massively tidy, so that will get messed up when it's like, but yeah, you just have to get stuck in. And eventually, that he'll be able to talk and do it, help me, you just gotta do a lot of that, I suppose.

And I've got to ask, have you ever used it just to get out of something with the baby going, you know what? The clothes are very difficult. Yeah, the clothes I've done or like, you know, if there's like a button on something, you just can't get the button. For some reason, it's just like a press stud, which for some reason just doesn't want to do it. Yeah. I'll go off then. But the worst thing I ever done with my eyes, I was speaking like this earlier I was about 11 it was just I just started becoming aware that there was something going on with me the teachers kind of new and we had that it's outside sports people coming in so like we had like a little football tournament and it was kind of I kind of had to be coming in my eyes on this stuff it were one nil down my team and I just get I'd go to the penalty I'd just go to the penalty I the penalty I just go the penalty I just go the penalty I just go the penalty I just go to go to go to go to go the penalty I'm to go to go to go to go the penalty to go to go the penalty to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to go to go to to go to go to go to to go. to go. to go. to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the to the the the to to the the to the to the the to to the to to the the the to the the to the the the to the just dropped to the floor holding both eyes. Get a penalty.

Get up, take the penalty score, 1-1, just run off. That was the first time I realized you can actually use, you can actually use this. I could not believe they went for it. He just went, oh, they hurt my eyes. I just go away down holding both eyes. Because when you've got a kid in your class at school playing football who's got, you know, an eyesight issue and he goes down holding, you're going to give a pen, ain't you? No question. Because these kind of people come in and the kinds of our adjustments, you know, he's,

be waiting, if you might need to get his attention, you won't know, he'll know he'll be looking at it and blah blah blah blah blah blah. So if they then go down hands open to both eyes, riding, you're going to give it, yeah. Especially when you score the penalty, you'll be like, it's quite a swift recovery actually. I think by the third and fourth time you'll be like, okay now that's... Yeah, he's got his act trick, let's stop calling for a pen. Yeah. Yeah, let's stop calling for a pen. Yeah. Did you find, so you've been there doing that for 10 years, the partially started football team, played for England and world championships. Did that help? Because obviously it's a tough thing to go through with your eyesight because

especially when you're young, as a teenager, everything's an issue, isn't it where what you're wearing, what you look like, whatever. But then if you've got something else on top of that, did you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that that th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, that, that that's that's that's that's that's that's thee. And, that's that's that's that's thatea. And, that's that's that, th find it helped playing with other people going through the same thing? Yeah, you're kind of going a real journey actually. So like when you're a kid, you just kind of, like I did everything, I did like boxing, rugby, football, I just kind of, it didn't occur to me that I won't be able to do that stuff. Yeah. But then as you get older, yeah, especially in boxing. Yeah, I was like, it didn't because I kind of was so used to up and was quite a sporty kid, I could kind of get by a bit and then you kind of are early 20s and it's, you kind of learn that actually girls might not be into you if they know about this or employers might look

at you differently. So you get so used to hiding it and then you get to like my age now and you're thinking, well, that's what I've got, do you know what I've got? You've got to put it out there and you've got to be a bit, and just people are so helpful actually you just got to present it in the right way but when you grow up on a to present state with such a big disadvantage you kind of have to be a bit careful you know yeah yeah you have to have something about you to know when to use it and yeah yeah so you're talking to girls going can I cover this up for the first couple of months of the relationship yeah yeah totally I'd be like oh you ignored me you know you'd be gonna you're gonna I was drunk oh you know this thing comes like a player to you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the you the you the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd to be like I to be like I to be like I'd to be like I'd to be like to be like to be like to be to be to be to be like to be like I'd to be like I'd to be like I'd to be like I'd to be like I'd to be like I'd to be like I'd they to be like I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like I'd to be like I'd and I was like, yeah, so I was drunk. Oh, you know, just kind of, oh, they did, this thing comes like a player, do I mean? Like I'd speak to them one day and then I've just walked past them the next guy.

Yeah. But that's definitely a thing, you know, but oh, you know, she's, you know, bleach-blind bobs was a thing, like a fashion thing. Yeah. And I'd be thinking, oh, you know, but it was all turned out it's like an old woman. It's Peggy Mitchell. Yeah. Does it affect you when you're doing stand-up, Josh? Can you see the crowd or is it just so bright and light because of the stage lights? Can you talked? I thou? Can't see see see see see see see see the the the c the c the c the c the c the c the c the c. the c. the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd the crowd. the crowd. the crowd. the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the th. Can you talk to the audience? In that one. A little bit. I had a couple of things where I've kind of chatted. I thought, I was you're a couple and it's just like one overweight person. Oh no! Oh God! I never like, I would never attempt to one's gender or anything like that. I mean, I just kind of, I can get chatting to somebody. If somebody's chatting some previously, I kind of could suss out where that person isn't in chat still. But you know, you know yourself

beyond the first row or so you can't. You can't, yeah, it's just the lights are so bright. Anyway, Josh, I think I think it's so important you're talking about this kind of thing because there'll be other kids growing up in similar backgrounds and areas that think, oh, this is gonna be hard word, but you can really show that you can, like, you know, follow your dream in two ways. You play for England at a World Cup, but also now you're one of the best new comics on the scene and you're smashing it, and you've got a lovely little baby, so it's really impressive.

It's a gift in some ways it is. Bet you didn't think th th think th think that th think that's then you're that's then you're that's a thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi' thi' the thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' the thi' thi' that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the th. You're the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat, you're theatt Leicester I'm smashing life. Yeah, a fourth journey in the lift from the bottom of the car parking to the top floor of the mezzan line. You know because you know when we envision's a bit of an issue up and down's fine in it in a box you can't get in trouble in a lift. Yeah that's a you don't want to be going escalated do you you, with a bike? But that's the other thing, I'm just bashing buttons in there as well, who knows? The door's opening and closing. Exactly, well that's life, isn't it? Who knows where you're going to end up? But you're smashed it, Josh.

One last question, though, Josh, is what is the one thing that annoysh-you So she keeps, she's got a very particular dress sense for six-month-old maybe. It's kind of, it's, it's kind of a frilly outfit with knee-high socks, which is, you know, it's caught, it's nice, but it does look like some kind of like a Swedish school girl and some of all. I don't see. It can't be all the pictures he's got to look back on. Do you mean one or two, yeah. So why has she done that? It's just, it? It's, it? It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind of, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. It's kind, th. It's kind, th. It's kind, th. It's kind th. It's kind of, th. It's kind of, th. It's kind of, th. It's kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of, th. It's kind of, thi, thi, thi. It can't be all the pictures he's got to look back on. Do you mean one or two? So why has she done that? It's just obviously just what she likes. It's just like a, he really looks lovely, do you know what I mean? But it's kind of like, let's mix it up a bit. Let's put me in a track suit now and again or something.

Yeah, what's your sho's it? Josh, you've been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much, mate. Thank you so much, right. What's the Edinburgh show called? Yeah, what's your show? It's called sausage egg, Josh Pugh, chips and beans. On what time? Ten past two at Monkie Barrel. Ten past two, monkey barrel. So what's it called?

Sausage? Egg. tho, mate. Yeah. Well, yeah, follow Josh Pugh. What's your Instagram? Josh Pugh? Josh Pugh? Josh Pugh. Perfect. All right, Wicked. Well, yeah, give Josh a follow. Go and see him live. And you can thank us when you saw him in Monkey Barrett 10 past to go and see him at a, you thagagagagagagagag. And you th. And you th. And you th. And you th. And you th. And you th. And you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.the Birmingham Hippodrome and places like that. Cheers mate bye. Yeah we're good. Cheers both. Thanks. Josh Pugh. There we are. Yeah I've never I've never met him properly but everyone's spoken so highly of him. It's a really nice bloke. You know he's good. Yeah go and see him in Edinburgh 10 past 2 at the

monkey barrel. Bless him six-onthold baby off to ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed ed Edinburgh, 10 Posse 2 at the Monkey Barrel. Bless him, six-month-old baby off to Edinburgh. I remember those days. It's tough. He's brilliant and he's gonna have a great career and stuff going on. But at the moment for him, he is, he must be absolutely hammered. We did that in his lunch break from a writing job. So he's really grafted in.

So go and support him. Give him a the one the follow that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that will give him a massive boost and he can sell loads of talk tickets. Chatterbix has gone to number one after David Earl was on it. Are we claiming that? We claiming that? Yeah, well we can claim that. But it's quite funny actually their whole thing because they're so like, it's quite a ramshackled show that's on every day. Their whole thing was one day will be number one and they got to number one one one the number one one one the number one their. their their their they'll they'll their they'll their they'll they'll their they'll their their they'll their they'll their their one. One their one they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one their their their their their their th. their th. th. they're they're th. they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they're they're they're they go from here. No, that's it. They should just quit, shouldn't they? They should quit now, just mic drop and out. Anyway, that was Josh Pugh. We'll be back on Tuesday with another chat episode. Oh, the chat episode will be the Ibiza and Glastow Roundup. Oh, yeah.

And we've recorded it, and It's worth it to me too. Right, see on Tuesday. Bye.