Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP46: The Fact Monster Has Arrived

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

S04 EP46: The Fact Monster Has Arrived(Apologies for the late release of this episode, producer Michael had his luggage go M.I.A. somewhere between New York and London hence the delayed upload...) Thanks Rob + Josh (and Michael) BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and member terms apply. Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parent in Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss what is really like to be a parent which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, Tales of Parenting Woe.

Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hill with... Hey, Emmy, can you say Rob Bickett Orbicke? And can you say Josh Whittakin? Well done. That is Imogen. She's from Tooting Southwest London. She'll be two in August, but where's her mom from, Rob? I don't know, but I can tell from that name and the way she's speaking, I reckon they're in a little flat in tooting, they're moving a bit more space. Wow her mom's a Kiway. Oh classic New Zealanders New Zealanders Australian South Africans love it Southwest London. I've been living in London for the past seven years listening to your podcast since it started initially on long lockdown walks with the newborn and now my commute to the office thank you for all the lulls and being so relatable that's from Miriam 396 months whatever that is

35 something like that yeah it's about a sad demographic Merriam Shumacher Merriam Shumacher Miriam Shumaker what a name was that her name yeah oh wow I didn't know I thought there's only one Chumacca well there's the brother as well there's two from the I know but I'm saying that well for that family I don't think Michael Schumacher Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. Is th. Is th. Is that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's the the th. Is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. the. their thir the. the. the. thir the. thir the. thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir theumacher. Well, there's the brother as well, so there's two from the off. I know, but I'm saying that, well, for that family. I don't think Michael Schumacher just arrived on his own. Like, actually, the Plymouth manager is called Stephen Schumacher and he's from, okay, well, you know what,trying to help out, Rob. Why about you don't help, okay? I just, it was a little thing about the name, I've not heard much, no one cared.

I was really try my best not to say anything offensive around the whole shoemaker name. Yeah, of course. But now we're back on to get this. Because basically, we're going to have a couple of weeks off because it's very busy for us at the moment. And we have to have a little break at some point in the year for some sort of boring podcast reason. However, we're having a couple of weeks where it'll be best of episodes. So this is us. not being well Josh is that correct? I've been ill Rob I've been ill. You get ill quite a lot is that sort of a thing you do isn't it? Yeah I think I've got a

weak immune system. Also when you have kids I think I'm getting all the young kids bugs again because I've got a second young kids do you know I'm getting the young kid bug are you okay that'll get you in trouble. I just got the bug no I just I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the the the th I'm th I'm just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the the the the the the th I'm just th I'm just th I'm just th I'm just the th I'm just th I'm just to to to to the the the the th I'm the th I'm th I'm the the th I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bug? I'm not a Tory whip, Rob. Oh yes, great sir. Boris might be gone by the time we listen to this. Yeah, exactly. So we've been struggling to meet up and you're feeling ill. But Glastow can't have a glass.

I'll be honest with you. I've had a bad run. So I had my two weeks of sleeping pills induced anxiety before Glaston yeah and then my one week of Glastor induced anxiety after Glastor yeah and then I just got ill right and now on Sunday Rob yeah so all day I felt nauseous okay I was I was I wasn't able to do in this Tuesday right I wasn't able to stand up straight for the whole day really so so so so so to the whole day? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so so to to to to the the the th th th the th th th the the th th th the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to tho to tho to to to to to to tho to the to to the to to to the to to up straight for the whole day. I wasn't able to stand up straight for the whole day.

Really? So you got a bit loose neck? I was like leaning over because I felt so nauseous like Mrs. Overall. And so I am, and then at the end of the day, I went to brush my teeth. Yeah. And I thought I'm going to threw up every meal of the day in reverse order I'm I just I'm sorry, I've had a, admittedly I've made a mistake of having a takeaway curry for dinner.

That's a terrible decision, nauseous. You bet your curries out? What about lunch? I just wanted something for taste. I had pizza for lunch. I mean, it was bad. I mean, it was fucking fool you're a little today. I know what it was.

I should say, I'm sure you were on death row as well so I just thought I thrown the curry and I thought well that was that dumb and I was like here we go oh wait a minute and then I throw up the pizza what was the giveaway was it a sort of a rogue halapino or something you can just tell I was like well that's all that's all the cuddly It is disgusting, we can't stop talking about. But it was just not. Was that in the sink as well? No, in the toilet. Okay. I've never before in my life experienced that happened.

It was surreal. Was it three separate, whoop? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was like one and then 20 seconds. Well, I tha. Here we go again. I bet you are a horrible sicker as well. I bet there's a lot of, oh, you've got a bit of a dog energy round the mouth sometimes, I don't know why.

Just around there and up sort of barking it out. Yeah, I'll be honest with you. If I was in a cubicle next to you, like, you'd have to leave the toilets because it's intense. You know it's happening. There there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's thi. thi. thi. I'. I'. I'er's thi. thi. thi. I'll thioloing. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thiou'er. thiou'er. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. thi. I'm just just just just just just just a thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo question what you're up to in there. It's a purging. Do you know what I mean? So that was Sunday night and did you feel better? No Monday didn't feel very good but um... You sound lethargic? Yeah, do you know what I did last night Rob? What? You know when you're ill and you think you should listen to your body? Yeah? What's I just really fancied another curry. You had another curry. I had another. I think you've gone down to the case of greedy bastard. Yeah. Body just can't take it. So you had another curry? And then what happened? I was all right. Oh right.

Okay. And now I woke up this morning. I was just, I'm no longer sick at all. I wasn't sick yesterday. I was just, but I just felt very, very lethargic. You sound let's say it's wrong, you sound let's say it's wrong. You sound let's say it. Yeah. I mean if this was just a phone call, I'd be like fucking come on, living up. People are this. People are going to drive it. Josh. You just keep keep the fucking, come, come, come, come t, come telling, come telling, come telling, fucking telling telling tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, I th. I th. I th thi, I thi, I thi, I today, I today. I tell. I just just just just today. I today. I just just just just the. I just just thi. I just just just just just just just them. I'm trying to drive it, Rob, trust it. I'm trying to drive it, Josh, but you just keep telling me how you tell every moment of the day. I'm sorry. So then, this is, we get to the box of matter, for parenting. Yeah. It was my daughter's settling in day at school, at her new school. Oh, where they go meet the the the they they they they they they go and they go and they go and they go and they go and they go and they're they're they're they're their their they're going, their their th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. theat, to to to to to to to to to to to keep to keep to keep to keep to to keep to the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to keep th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to the. to me to me te. tell, you tell me tell me to me tell, you to me tell, you to me tell to keep tell me tell me to keep tell going to have next year, all that. Yeah. How was that?

It was all right. Yeah, it was good. She was less nervous about it than we would, you know what I mean? Right, yeah. Rose particularly was worried that she hadn't formed any long-lasting friendships within the hour of her settling in period. But Rose hadn't, or your daughter. Because your parents waiting, they're waiting room area, because that's what we had to do. They took him in and you just waited outside. And what other kids are going up from the nursery of that school? So those parents... Right, okay.

So that's what... Don't Rob, Rose, they're already got that view. That is going to crack because the nursery relationships are so strong. Our daughter's going to be like a Holland at their 96 euros. It's just a couple of cleats you cannot break. These kids have been, they've spent two years in nursery together, there's no getting beyond there, there's no getting in. So we went to that, and then we were chatting to the head teacher and we were in the sun. And it was like, you know, we're chatting about all the stuff about the school.

Yeah. I was directly in the sun, I had some sun cream in my pocket. Yeah, but I was like, I just don't think I can't think I can't think I can't try it out in this situation. I think it would be too weird to suddenly start to the sun to start to start to start Yeah, I think because if you if you just started suncreaming up as you spoke to them. I can't do that right. No, I think if you do it with ultimate confidence, I think you look mental. No, I think, yeah, because the thing is slap on your hand. If you were talking to a head teacher for the first time, amid conversation you just took some sun cream out your pocket and put it all over your face. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I, I thi, I thi, I think, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, think, can can't think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I thithink that's acceptable. Is it? No, it isn't. And

then you can't. But then if you would, excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but I'm going to put some sun cream on now. That implies you're going to strip to your pants and do it. And they've got to leave. So yeah, that cream on it shows where your mind's been for the last five minutes. So do you want to practice what did you show you do you didn't do it you got burnt? Yeah I got so say I'm the teacher and I'm going yeah and then and you're and I'm talking to you now this attempt to try and and boys coming in today. I don't know if you've been told, but next week there is a second-hand uniform sale, so if you haven't got all your bits and barbs, you can get them cheaper.

Yes, it's hot isn't it? Yeah, yes. We do a range of like summer dresses and hats. Yeah, yeah, of course. quite pay out of myself so I'm right do you mind if I just apply some factor 30 to me I know yes yes yes I do mind I can I know you feel a bit weak and vulnerable at the moment because you're not well and you're remembering something that made you awkward so you're rubbing your hands together. I'm you're clapping a bit as well aren't you? You're a little thinclub. I'm in a bad way.

Oh Josh. Man, but it was weird. It was good. I couldn't believe this Rob. Yeah. I'm hosting the... What for the school? Yeah. Oh they've already got you. They've absolutely got me about the Jaffers Day 1. By the Godads Clampton that is nailed on at least every year potentially every term. Yeah exactly. The PTA are gonna be all over you like a fucking rash. Yeah so there we go. But yeah it went well my daughter enjoyed it. Like she loved it, she loved it she loved the playground and she liked her the the the the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the the the the the the the the the the the their the their the the the the the the the the the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. I. I. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Like she loved it, she loved the playground,

and she liked her teacher. She'll love it and she'll really enjoy it. But it's difficult when it's your first one, because their ignorance is bliss. They don't care. It's the parents that get worked up. We and me and mea were the same. I think the best thing to do is don't to do to do to do to do is don't to do is don't to do is,

and just go with them and hold the hand and go off you go by and just don't think. Yeah. Because you cannot do anything. No. There is literally nothing you can do, so the more you're mither about it, it's worse. But there's nothing you can do. But there's nothing you can do to help her make friends. But there's nothing you can do to help her. But that's why it's so stressful but there's nothing you can do. You can't go in there and help and make friends that would be worse. That would actually make it worse if old sun cream dad was in there rubbing his head. Do you know what I was doing though? I was like I was looking at the other kids thinking, you know what I mean? I was like Oh, she's wearing a jumper with a unicorn on.

That's a good, that's a good common ground. I know. It's so tyrin' tireing. You're inventing little events that could or couldn't happen, just hopefully to be positive. But that's totally understandable. That's why it is stressful when a kid goes to school because it's the first first th the first bit of power you lose over you can't help. Yeah, but she went to nursery fine and loved it, didn't she? Yeah, loved it. She's good with Kit. She'll be totally fine, but yeah, it's all in our heads, do you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but, yeah,

basically I think the less you speak to her about it, the better it'll be probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she that, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's? Are you happy with that? Did you like that? And you're like, shut up. And I'm like, I can hear myself saying it. Going, I'm fucking hating it if I was the kid. Shut up, Rob. I do it every time I pick up from school. I go, how was school? And as soon as I say it? What else do you say?

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slash business platinum. How have you been? I've got quite a lot to get through Josh. Lots has happened. I've been lots of parenting because I was wearing our beefer. I really took the ball by the horns. Went to see minions at the cinema. Oh yeah. Fell asleep. A minute. to see minions. A. the the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiii. thi. M. M. thi. M. thi. M. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.................................................................................................... woke up for the last five minutes, absolutely classic behavior. What are your kids didn't even care? No, I just put my hand on their hand and when they get scared they squeeze it. Oh my God. So that's how I did. But you've got to be careful.

The minions thing, those are tho and th bananas in. So there was those weird clapping, that's what made me wake up, there was clapping. So what do you mean they're clapping? I heard about this all the wrong one of her. So like at any moment in the film where something happens that feels like it should be a clap like they you know this baddie they're trying to get away from they turn the Tick-Tock trend. What do you mean it's a Tick-Tock trend? Okay, so it's a... And then they're filming it and putting it on Tick-Tock? Yes. Yeah, yeah. And then also just sort of doing it. It's a sort of fun thing to do. Like it's how happy slapping for Gen Z. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, that's good. I was so hungover Josh. Do you know what I ate when I went in there?

Curry? And then I was sick, saws of my mouth. I had a hot dog, I had an ice cream, sweets and pockorn. What? You haven't had to go at me for being a greedy goat? These I can keep in, mate. You must have been like to do so, their their their thi and I, thi and I, thi and I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t I had to do two trips from the counter. What did your kids have? They had some picker mix and then the cinema, they do like a little tray, which is quite good,

where you get like a fruit shoot, bag, Harry Boat, and some popcorn. It's not too bad. But I was really hung over because I went to Adele. Oh yeah, time we're not going to to to to to to to to to and I got absolutely battered on Friday. I just got so shit-faced but I think everyone's so, everyone's so stressed from lockdown that now they're all allowed out, everyone's just going mad and I feed off other people's energy and I just got so pissed. Yeah, that's a great excuse. I mean I feed off and yet other people's energy and I just got so pissed. It's very much a crisp pincher style excuse Rob. Oh I went on a the the the to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho. I'm just thi. I'm just tho. I'm just tho. I'm just tho. I'm just tho. I'm just tho. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm just just th. I'm just just just thatt. I'm just thatt. I'm just that that that that thate. I'm just thateeatea. I'm just thatea. I'm just thatea. I'm just that went on a dog walk, right, with Fred, and as I was finishing, there was a fun run, the bit being set up for some sort of church fate thing, and it was a bit, they was all stuff set up and I was trying to get through it before it started, so I wasn't in the way, because the dog would just go mental. Anyway, I got to where it was where it was where it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, being, being, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, being, the, the, being, the, being, being, the, being, the, the, the, being, the, the, the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the, the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the, the, being there to cheer the right at the races and there's about I'd say 50 people there

and I walked through and I went stop it for me it's just a dog wall guys how did they go down to complete silence what yes no yeah what's wrong with this fucking country and then someone went excuse me said sir, there's a race finish. We didn't win two World Wars for that kind of attitude. I was living. I was flying. I've had a coffee, I had a dog walk, I was high on life. I was like, that I don't go fair.

Let's give him a bit of Rob Beckett off the tellain. I'll give him some, don't worry. Nothing. No. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the end of a dog walk. And then a lady in high-villies, well, excuse me, sir, there's a race here. Can you please get off the path? Yeah, not a problem. And I went out the- You know, oh, so this happened, you know, when my daughter's having a play date of a girl from school when I was in our befaith, and I didn't realize that when we've, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, I, th and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, came, came, came, came, came, came, come, the, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, the, the, the the, the the, the the, the the the, the the, the, they, tho, they, they, they, the, come, the, come, the, come, come, come, come, and, the, come, come, come, come, come, the, come, come, come, come, they, thing and the doorbell rang and I sort of half answered it on my phone by accident. Oh no, not from Swadja Staggda. Yep from Ocean Beach. No, gas off my face and the dad said he could just see like the underneath of my chin and he could just hear what was going on in Ocean Beach as he came to pick his daughter up from a play date. Oh that is a depressing moment. It's not bad, isn't it?

Oh, this pissed Lou off so much, right? Okay, because, you know, Lou, it does a bit of charity work stuff and that and she's looking to get back into teaching when the youngest starts school, which is in September. So she sort of started after looking around, that was always our plan, that when the kids are both in school. that's their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to. to. to. th. to be. their. to be. to be. their. to be. to be. too. too. to be. too. too. too. their. too. too. too. too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. So, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And when the kids were both in school, because of my diary as well, if Lou has a full-time job, it really impacts child care and stuff like that, but when they're both in school, it makes it easier. So Lou was getting ready to go out. And then she said, and then my daughter went, why don't you do this? Why don't do that about something?

I can't know and it was just such a sweet sort of naive six-year-olds thought. She isn't naive though Rob. But I don't know if she was just doing it to get under a skin because Lou was not happy. You know I do it as a parent sometimes you know when you slightly overreact when you but it's just a flippant comment from a child but it cuts to your call like you've been interviewed by a pacman and I said just rest do I think I just rest okay all the food I go to the shopping do everyone's dinner do their washing all them and then and then my daughter just pissed herself laughing then then that my daughter just pissed herself the nice rest

oh that is glorious Rob the good one it? Your daughter's doing your work for you. What, getting under my wife's skin? All those things you want to say that you're too scared to say and your daughter's doing it for you. You have a lovely rest. I do not thrown. I do not thrown. I do not thrown. thrown. Don't you dare try try try tha tha thattry thattry thattry thattry that. Don't tho. Don't tho. Don't tho. Don't tho. Do tho. Do tho. Do tho tho tho thooo thooooooooooo thr-a. thoooooo thoo tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. thoo. tho. thooo. tho. tho. their tho. their tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. tha. tha to you on WhatsApp that we don't say on the show. No, not at all. I love Lou and I really appreciate what she does. Yeah. She's an incredible mother. Blab blah blah blah blah. All the stuff you have to say. My daughter came out of preschool and she told all the teachers that if I pull but I think they're probably assumed that I did that anyway. Yeah, they know what side of the tracks you're from Rob. Is that true? Yeah. What percentage are real and what percentage are fake? Whatever my body can produce. Yeah. If it's not happening they're in the vicinity. Yeah, yeah. I've had to shout from upstairs and they sprint down before. To sometimes they're losing a race. Not really a farter Rob.

I know we spoke about this, you just burb, don't you? Yeah. Wow, not just burp at the moment, I'll tell you that for free. I wonder if I've got a genuine stomach problem. Anyway, it's not the time the time the time not the time not the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time. the time. the time. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to their to to their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their thi. I this has happened as well, right? Oh, I've got a lot. I've got a couple of things here to talk about. Let me say about loud so we don't forget. Roger Black, class rep, killing sheep. Okay. Well, we know what Roger Black is me and you. So should we headline with Roger Black? People are excited about that because that is from last week. There's been a development in the world of Roger Black. Yes, Roger Black's been messaging hasn't he and he's been asking to send his love to Louise my wife because I suggested that he's been having an affair with Lou which is why

my daughter was so good at sports day. Anyway he's coming hot on the messages. Hi Rob, thanks for mentioning on your podcast my TJ's teenage boys but for a moment they seem proud to sacked their dickhead dad dad dad I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th are th are took tod took today today th are the they they they they they they they they they they they they they. This is great from rock. We've got to get Rajan, haven't we? The big takeaways are it was a very loud indoor arena which is why he had such a fucking massive microphone. I asked him about that. It was a very loud indoor arena come on mate, you're not on gladiators. It was a it was a live indoor meeting was so very noisy. Also said there's no way on earth you sold that many exercise machines. 250,000, right? Was the number, wasn't it? And he said, well, I did sell that many exercise machines actually. I had 15 years under exclusive license to Argos with my brand.

That's why so many were sold. Oh, fair enough. I only got a tiny, tiny percent. But lucky they chose me for all th th th. That's why so many were sold. Oh, fair enough. Fair enough. I only got a tiny, tiny percent, but was lucky they chose me for all those years. I now run the business with a small team selling directed consumers. So nothing like the same number of sales that the mighty Argos had. So if you want a Roger Black, a bike or... This is a little small business had a 15 year contract. I've done the adverts. I've done the maths. A man who was selling 17,000 exercise machines a

year through Argos. Even a quid a machine. Yeah, what happened? He said, yeah, so the small business shout of the man had the 15 year contract of Argos. Anyway, it's a nice bloke. He hasn't been a broadcaster for a year so that's an old photo probably a live indoor athletics meet yeah so he doesn't remember the incident exactly no I think it's quite a standard a standard microphone for athletics I he wasn't like oh I remember that one oh what a bloody name you couldn't bloody hear yourself think in the old Birmingham NIA I couldn't see I thought the guy in the yellow jersey one it was just my microphone in my vision the tour the France tour the France the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod I I I tod tod tod tod tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou the I thought the guy in the yellow jersey one, it was just my microphone in my vision. Like the Tour de France. The only time I've ever watched like sort of an athletics commentator's

face because normally you just hear it is, is an Autis from the Gadget Show that clip. Oh yeah, you must have seen that. Oh yeah. Oh that count in your ear, I'm sure we've done it on it before, but we'll play it again for old time. I don't know that we have. I think we have. But I tell you it's been play, you know when you can see you've played a YouTube video I've played this one thrown. Yeah he's tried to wrap the end. Yeahh if the end the end the end. the end. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the end. the end. th. th. th. the end. th. the end. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr-I. thrown. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. the. the. the. the. thee. the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. they's they''''''a. the. the. the. th seen some action this morning as well. Jessica Ennis, good night. Lovely son in the studio, poor Autis. It's stressful live tele. I don't understand. Do you think they should mention Jessica Ennis? I think she might have run and he just, basically what he'd say is it's been a glorious day here at wherever he actually is, not in the studio at the state where it's a glorious day at Crystal Palace we saw Jessica Ennis with another another

wonderful performance. Thank you for watching Good Night. That's all he needs to say. But he panicked I think he might have been distracted because it is distracted when I talked to you in your ear but I'm sure sure sure the the the the the the they they they to to to to they to to to anyone. On the topic of TV, Rob, do you want to know how out of control my life's got in the last three weeks? So we haven't had BBC 2 for a week. I just can't go around to fixing it. Because there's something wrong with our TV. It needs something, you know, I need to like trouble to it or whatever.

So are you watch, do you watch, have the the the the but it's really patchy. The channels are dropping like flies. There's something wrong with my TV. Is that the cabinet? Yeah, yeah, exactly. People are gonna go, I love that topical podcast who did four days too late. But, um, yeah, and I just, I had to say to Rose's mom this morning. She was like, yeah, I'm gonna sort that in that in that in that going to sort that in about a week or two. Because that's how out of control my life is. Are you just busy where you got lots of work coming in and summer holidays? And we've got the booked you in on Friday, haven't we? Yes. I finished it. I've finished it. I've I've done it. I've finished it. I've done it. Fing th th th th th th f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f I've th f f I've th f I've th f- I've th f- I've th f- I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it. I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. F F I've th. F F I've th. F F F th. F th. Fing it. Fing it. Fing it. Fing th f-I f-I f-I f-I f-I've th-I've th-I've th-I've finished it. I've finished it. I've finished it's f-I've finished it's f- I've finished it. I've finished it there, didn't you, Josh?

I mean, I couldn't believe it. I can't believe those words came out of my mouth. Yeah, but I think I'm giving off very much finish the exam in our early vibes. Oh yeah, whereas I'm asking for more paper. Yeah, I hated them. How could you need more paper? How big are your, is your writing? They still make your hand-write exams now? Surely a little laptop, don't? I don't think you can check you. Imagine the tapping.

My hand would hurt so much after a fucking exam. Awful. I hated exams. I found them so stressful. Did you? I didn't mind an exam. I didn't mind it. I like the time on my own really. I've been left alone in a situation. Just a little bit of quiet did you? Just a little bit quiet time. Oh dear. Oh that's the other things about killing sheep. Oh no two more things. Killing the sheep. Basically I was eating lamb chops and my daughters asked what they were and I explained. They both cried. And they went. they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were their their their little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little. What. What. What. What. A little little little little little little little little little little little little. What. What. A little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. A. A little little little little little little little little little little little little little. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. A. A. A little little little little little little. they were. they were. they were. A. A. A. A. their. A little little little their little their little their little their little their little their little their little their little little little little their. their. their. their. you're eating little baby lambs. Oh yeah. And then, yeah. Oh yeah. And then she went, because they're tasty.

She went, but why? And I went, and she's, she was like, other things are tasty. You don't have to kill them. I'm like, fair point. And they're just tasty. And she to kill them. Who thoe, thoe, tho, tho, the, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they's, they's, they's, they's, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why. they, why. they, they, they, I. they, I. they, I. they, I. they, I. they, I. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, why, they're, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why. they're, why. they're, why. they're just tasty and then she went who killed them did you kill them? Whoa, that's her jumping but hasn't she had lamb? No, they're very much plain pasta. I've got a strong feeling that I'm gonna have to sort of like two little veggies tum two little buckwheat vegans. Oh mate.

Like which is fine don't bother me. Yeah, I've come a long way. Let me have meat. You've got to the top of the food chain, Rob. You don't, yeah, no, not that way. Not like I'm an apex predator, but I mean, like, there's a lot of things I don't do now that I used to do. Yeah, yeah, let me have plastic halfway. Let you eat it. I'm washing out. Y'all got parts, Josh. Let him eat a baby, fucking sleep. Let me eat a little lamb. And so would they eat any meat?

Could you not turn that on them? Could this happen to my wife recently? Yeah. To Rose, she, my that name again? There's so much of Rose that she went for lunch with my daughter. Yeah I was when we're in Wittsable and so Rose was eating I can't know what it was but it was a sea creature that looks like what it is and my daughter was just eating fish but because it didn't look like a fish she was fine with it. Yeah I think that's that's the thing that's the thing. But I I's that's thin's that's thin that's thin thin thin thin thin thin that's that's thin that's thin that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thin's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the word fish and think the food fish is also the thing that swims in the sea? I don't understand. I don't know. I think there's a lot they're getting

their head round. Yeah. What do they eat? They eat sausages. My daughter really got into bacon until she had too much of it. They don't really got into bacon. They don't got got got got got their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tha. I thoom. I thoom. I thoom. I thi. I their food. I've thoom. I'm thoom. I'm. I'm. I'm thoom. I'm thi. I'm thi. I's their food food food food food food food food food food food food food. I their food. I their food. I their food. I their their their their their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. I's that have chicken nuggets and things but they don't anything that looks like an animal they're not sure about they wouldn't go anywhere near a parole yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that cry tonight to a kid yeah oh the other thing is Josh Winnockham yeah you are listening to oh no the new class rep of year two the new class rep of year two to have a look at the the the the the the the the the the thals thals thals thals thals thals thals thals th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thr-I the. the. the. the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they're they wouldn't they wouldn't they wouldn't they wouldn't they wouldn't they wouldn't they wouldn't the the the the this for 37 minutes into the pod? Why I say 37 minutes? Have a look at your running time and see how much Michael's edited out. That's a little treat for you. That's a fun little in game for the list. Fun little in game. How much has dropped out at this point. And factor in adverts. Yeah, by the, don't count them. Don't count them. Count pure content.

Yeah, so, you know, one of the moms has been doing it for a couple of years. So what does this involve? It's basically, it seems like a lot of WhatsApp, liaising with the teachers and the school about certain things that may change that isn't like in the website. So if like, oh, next week, we're now going to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, to me, to me, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, too, tooomomorrow, too, too, too, too, too, too, to.o, to, the, the website so if like oh next week we're now gonna go and do this everyone needs to wear you know tracks who or peer uniform and they put you in charge of that I've taken control okay some of they needed a new person Lou put herself forward but Lou was my also be doing it

you were Ed Milibanded her well no is she she wants to do reception we're looking at trying to get it done and get it out early. So basically, you're on a WhatsApp group. I'm the linchpin between the school and the other parents. And also I need to sort out what we do is we do a whip round for birthdays. So, right? Who's birthdays? The school kids' birthdays.

So what we're doing is, all do a whip right and then that way we're out the whip and then we all just do a present that comes from all the class oh so whenever you go to a party there's one good present that's a bit more expensive and then basically as class rep I'll speak to the parents and go what would they like and there's a set amount I don't know what the bu. But rather than everyone spending a five or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I I I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I don't. I's. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I's. I don't. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I's. I's. I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So. So. So. So, the. So. So. So. So, the. So. So. So, I'd rather put that tenor in and get something decent for someone wouldn't you right? Yeah or five or whatever it is you're putting in. I'm so I don't have a situation exactly like that. We're going to five year old's birthday party I went to the toy shop and I was like I barely know

I'm now currently buying a present for a five-year-old I don't know. Yeah I've I've I've I've I? Sorry. It's become the catch-raise on the episode. Josh has got the young kid bug. Oh God it's gonna be the episode tile it's a disaster. But yeah that's exactly the point so what I'll do is as class rep also we'll have two deputies that help me out if I'm busy. I'm actually recruiting them at the moment. I'm actually... Yeah, big time. Oh, we're going to recruit some debts. But you see now I can't say to Javid? They're available, mate. I can't go into class reps or TV about being flanks by an Asian man. So are you worried that you're going to have to make some difficult decisions in recruitment? Well, no, there are two. There are two...

This is really given the podcast, a new least of life. So, you're talking to a class rep, ma'am. You're talking to a club rep, so basically... I'm more, it feels more like I'm talking rep isn't convinced I'm going to do a great job. Because when we'll talk about it at the pub, she spoke across me to Lou and said to Lou, I'll text you about it later. Oh my word. That's it feels like, imagine how I think how Boris governs, let's do this and then

they sort of himself. Do you think people see you as you as you you're the face but lose the kind of brain? That's what they want to think. Like she's the Cummings and you're the Johnson. I'm the goings. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, but now I would have to stand out on my own two feet Josh and show that I can do this. And the previous class rep said, well, I have two people to help me out and they're happy to stay on I went well I will be taking applications so they're more

than well it's open with a new brush it's open to it's open to tender I'm sending out to tender backroom staff if anyone wants to get involved I'm pushing for an all-male class rep to go against a normal mum dominated class rep zones Oh you're doing a male only for short of this this this this this this this this this th I I I I I I I I I I I I th is th is the the th is th is th is the th is th is th is very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very to to to to to to to to to th. I the the th. I'm the the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is. I I th is. I th is. I th is. I the. I the. I'm theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I theeeeeeee. I's. I'm tho. I'm the. of this? Very, very, very, I'm very, I count, you know, intuitive. I like it. Yeah, so it's gonna go. And so you're gonna interview? Well, that's what I'm planning to do. This is for, the,

I have the fucking powers term little drink thing on the pub on a Sunday. Surprise you let them sit with you if I'm honest with all the other parents. And the kids all played on the suite. It's really good pub. There's like swings that are big enough to keep them busy and then you can sit there and have a drink and it's nice. Oh is it some holidays now more or less so you're wrapping next. September when they move up a year and I've got for a full year and and then but I've got to so I've got to do with the presents for the kids and also any like end of term presents for the teachers again. So Rob yeah just to get this clear yeah yeah yeah we could be in the dressing room at the O2 in April

waiting to go on and you'll be fucking around sorting out the whip for the six-year-old's birthday birthday birthday birthday birthday birthday birthday birthday birthday birthday birthday th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. I I I I I I I I I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I's. Yeah. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll. So. So. So, I'll. So, I's. So, I's. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I's. So, I's. So, I's. So, I's. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm the the the the the the the the the the th. And, I'm. And, I'm, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, the the the the the the the for a six-year-old birthday gift. Yeah, I mean, also as well, Lou did point out that I'm going to Australia in November, so I won't even be, I'll be on the other side of the world getting text messages at 3 a.m. about someone's fucking PE kit that I've got to send on, that Lou said I'll probably sleep through. So give me your top five kind of, like what are the main, what's the the their, what's, what's, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, I'm, the, I, I, the, the, the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, like what are the main I was the word I kind of my main responsibilities are to keep to to either link between the school and the parents for anything that comes in last minute also being charged anything that comes in last so if for example like some to communicate any messages from the school to the parents so for example are we now not doing

that but rather and then you pop it on the what's out and if you've got any concerns it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the to the the the to the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. the they. the the the the the the the the and things like they... You can't just pop it on the WhatsApp, broo. And if you've got any concerns, it comes to me and I will take them to the school on behalf of the class. You're HR. I'm HR. I mean, I don't know what they see. I think our year just invented this because I don't think it's not like a proper job. th. But, but, but, but, but, but, the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi, it's thi, it's not, it's thi, it's not, it's not, it's th. It's th, it's not like, it's not like, it's not th, it's tho, it's tho, it's tho, it's tho, it comes tho, it comes th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes to to to to to to to thi, it's to to thi, it's to to to to to to to throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Boy, I'm a bit snowed under or maybe, you know, we've got a second encore at the O2. I'm like, hey, big dog, can you take this? I'm busy now. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, I mean, at the moment I'd argue there's already a coup being organized by the ground and said I am the class rep now what are we doing? Let's get this sorted. My worry for you, Rob, is you're too straight speaking for politics. You're not a game player.

This is one of the things I like so much about working with you. You're straight down the line. Every, yeah. You say, you speak as you find, you find, you don't play the game of politics. Well maybe that's what we need now in politics. It the the I'm the sort of thinking man's farage. I've always said it. I'm always said it. So yeah I see how that goes but there's already murmurs of no confidence and I've not even taken over yet. Oh no. God. So when's the hand over the start of the end of the summer holidays or halfway through? Well I think the old I the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin, I'm thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin, is the hand over the start of the end of the summer holidays or halfway through? Well I think the old crow stick comes out like in politics, you know they bang on the door three times and let them in. And then big dog steps up to the plate, puts a cape on or whatever it is.

No I don't know to be to be worried them was I said, I'll do it, it'll be great content for the podcast. And I think that did concern them slightly. They weren't wrong. You weren't wrong. Yeah, and I, and then I got, I got called out by Lai Mai for not laughing at his senior management joke. What was his senior management joke? Because he's, we know he spoke about it before the senior management. Yeah, he's not going to be the senior. I the senior. I the senior. I the senior. I the senior. I the senior. I the senior. I the senior. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the the same. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I wasn't. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's Rob. I will next time, I promise, so that's the plan. So he's not going to be on your lieutenant's. He's not going to be the Alastair Campbell to Tony Blair, is it? Well, it depends. It depends if people are up for it.

I'm just saying, do you want to come on a journey to do. Have they just got it in your year or is it every year? I think it's like they suggest you could do it because it's quite good to have so I think I don't know. I've got no I've got no I've got no I've got no idea whatsoever Josh but I'm gonna take. You're gonna play in your national record of achievement. And then my little NRA. Anyway so that's what's what's happening there. That's that's that's what that's what that's what that's what that's that's that's what that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the the the the that's the the that's that's the that's the the the the the they. that's they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. I'm not. I'm not. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C luck, you know, fingers cross I get it over the line. Do you know what, and it is good to have some plain speaking people who are in politics for the right reasons, i.e., to make the podcast better? Yeah, just to get myself in a little bit of a pickle. You know, I'm rushing around, you know, at Melbourne airport trying to buy a kid a present before I fly back to to to to to tothe present yourself? No I'm sure I can order it online I'm pretty a bit of a

whiz when it comes to the technology. But I mean you're you're sourced with buying and wrapping the present are you? Oh God have I got to wrap it? If you're buying it awful. I'll outsource that. I'll outsource that. to loo. I didn't say that. I. I. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll to say to say to say to say to say to to to to to to to to tooseaucea sousesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesesese. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to their to to their too. I too. I'll their too. I'll their too. I'll too. I'll too. I'll too. I'll their too Maybe I'll have a few rappers as my deputies. They'll be able to help me. But we'll see what happens, but I'm planning on doing it. Mine is just the best news I've had all year. I'm really, it's really to cout me up. Yeah, I'm so excited.

Right, do you want some Instagram messages? Yeah. Let's do some of these, right. Hi Rob and Josh. I'm a mother of two girls, Lilliana who is eight and Rosalea who is five. I often plug them into iPads in a car with headphones so I can listen to you guys freely. I'm currently working my way through the back catalog and referred to an episode in season 2 when you ask, what is the longest baby? Sorry, the longest baby?

Nine fur. No, the longest a baby has gone without a name. A colleague of mine didn't name his baby for a good couple of weeks. And then after that proceeded to do one week trials of names to see if it suited her. Oh my God. Then decided on a name for a couple of months and then changed their minds again. Oh my God. Fast forward, the baby's a year old and has been christened. The mother decided she has now come across too many other babies with the same name in baby groups.

So they are going to change the name again and have her re-christened. That is effing insane. That's man, what is real main character syndrome? Who cares if your kid's got the same name as anyone else? But also by one your kid will be responding to their name. They'll be hearing their name. Yeah, that is bad. That's deep. Yeah, that is. That is, I'm not, didn't think of it.

Oh my god, I'll be a car. I bet you're a- I bet. I bet you, I'll the the the the the the the the the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll to to th. I'll that. I'll th. I'll to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll the. the. theat. theat. theat. ta. ta. ta. toda. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.'s still doing bad time. Let's listen to him. Is he polite? Is he a tip-up? Okay. A cardo. Right. You are you a bit, I wouldn't say you're overly polite. What do you mean? You open the door with, oh. I said hello. Oh, I said hello. Oh, is that you're a bit I wouldn't say you're overly polite What do you mean you open door door oh I said hello Oh, yeah, you said hello? Yeah Sounded like another little purge do you get him to come in to your house or does he just leave at the doorstep? Oh, he's just asked if he can come in oh? Oh, does he know you're there? She's very good with members of the public. I don't like? She's very good with? Oh. the the the the the th. She's? She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. th. She's good. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. Oh. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that you're that you're that you're that's that's that's that's that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. She's very good. She's very good. She's very good. She's very good. She's very good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, that's very good. Oh, that's very good. Oh, that's very good. Oh, that's very good. Oh, that's very good. Oh, that's very charming okay no ha ha ha well you like Roe like Scooby-doo you open a door no and Rose like no it's okay thank you cheers thanks bye I ask Rose if she thinks you're too rude to people at the door no we're not gonna ask her that. I can literally just hear your shopping being unloaded now. Is this good podcasting?

I don't know. But you can't tell her to shut up. Tell us to shut up. Shut up. Go on. And I'm joking. Are you all right to unload it after the podcast is finished? Because what thinks it's too loud? Oh, you dare? Don't you dare? She just laughed at that. This is so unfair. She just said, the thrown right. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to shut. Tell to shut. Tell us to to to to to to shut to shut to shut to to to to to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut to shut shut to shut shut. to shut. to shut. to shut. to shut. to shut. to shut. to shut. to shut. to me. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to shut up. their to me. to me. to me. to me. to shut up. to shut up. to. Fuck sake. Okay, don't what? Yeah, she said can she at least put the things in the fridge really quickly? Tell them, tell them, it's not that hot. He's, you prefer not. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Was it some more dead fish you're eating?

Yeah, so they've gone for Sarah? Yeah, so they've gone for Sarah? No. Okay. So did they settle on the name for this? Did we get to the end of this? Was that? Yeah, so they've gone for Sarah. No. I'm joking. All right. Okay, right.

Here we go. Hi, Rob. their today. Right. Okay, here we go. Hi, Rob and Josh. to have the to. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they're. they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. they've. are still young, due to her having his youngest at 43. My dad was 45 when he had my brother, 47, when he had me and 49 when he had my sister. I could put money in the fact that he never imagined also becoming a grandparent. He has six grandchildren between the ages of four and 23. I am now 43 and my dad that is 91. He got evacuated in the Second World War. He still works, walks to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the beach to the beach to be the beach the beach to be the beach to be the beach the beach the beach the beach the beach the beach to be the beach to be to be to be to be their to be their their. Wow, their to be their. Wow, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toda. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, th. today, that. that. in the Second World War. He still works, walks to the beach every day and is probably fit to the most six year old. In my opinion, having

children older has kept him young. Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you, it might help some older dads and moms. I genuinely agree with that. My dad's 78, this is Sam living in Scotland but originally from Kent. My dad is 78 and I had that worry because my dad was a bit older, he's about 43 and I do think, I mean obviously when he leaves my ass after two days and my kids getting up at 5.30 a.m., he looks absolutely fucked and I've just finished him off, but when he arrives, he looks full of beans. So I do think having a busy life does keep you young. Well I am as young as young as I I I as I as I as I as I as I thi thiii young as I thian as I thian as I thian as I've thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi tho-I thi to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the. to to the moment then Rob. Oh yeah do you feel good? Yeah I feel great mate absolutely. I'm good to my granddad's hundred. Isn't it? Well yeah in a month's time out of you.

Oh wow that's amazing. Exciting isn't it? What does he do? What do you mean? He's he's retired? He's been retired ages. He's only been retired as long as he worked. Has he been retired as long as I've known him really actually? Yeah. So what does he do? He's very active. He does gardening. He's very active with his local church. No, do you want to hear something interesting though? So he's split up with my grand? When my dad was 10, so what year was that, about 1960s. Yeah. And then they got back together in the 90s when I was a kid. They remarried. 30 years after? Yeah, it's an incredible story. When he was in 1970s? Yeah, I suppose yeah, 60s, 70s, yeah. His ears are 100 years old. I forget that about people's age. It's like, if you had a car on the 100 year old ears. Big old boys, like a little fox. But because I forget that. When

you say your age, like if I look, if I say, if I had a car that was a hundred, you'd go, fucking out that car's a hundred. But like that, your granddad's ears a hundred. Yeah. So we're doing to launch the book. to to launch to launch to the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. the the their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the their. their. the th. th. th. th. th doing to launch the book. Right, yeah. We're doing the South Bank Center for the London Literature Festival. Rob, we are such stiffnecks. I mean, yeah, they asked me to put that on my Instagram. I don't think it's worth it. I don't try to put it on mine. I put it on mine. I did a book event, I did a book. I did a book event, I did a book, thi th and I th and I've th. I've their it it, I've their it, I've their it, I've, I've, I've, I, I, I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I'm, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I'm, I'm, I'm their, I've their, I've their, I've their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their the London, their the London, their the London, the London, their the London, their their their, their. their, their, expecting it was to be stand-up. So I spoke about a book, no one had read it and no one had it. So I just, in the end, I'll answer the few questions and just did load of stand-up bits but sat down. I reckon we'll be interviewed. We'll get one of our classic guests to interview us. Right. So we're doing it to I think the book signed. God knows. Don't promise that if it's not a busy Sunday morning.

Yeah, right. Check on the website. Check on the bloody website. But they are good those events because basically, because it's a comedy book and a funny book, it's just us being really funny. It's not really good. The book's not got any sort of deep, the the not going to go in there for some sort of real melancholy look back on ourselves is us going to be fucking about. We'll definitely do a Q&A as well if you want to ask any questions and we'll get someone really fun to interview us. Do you let's kind of try and get Louis to do it as the backward one? Because you interviewed him about his book.

You interviewed him about his book. Oh that's a good idea but he's been busy and he'll ask probably. Do you think he wants to do another interview him about four days before the event? Yeah someone pulled out I don't know if you and Romish were real but I've got the call up I was a Rob you know my first question was to go to? Yeah I was you know what my first question was to him I said you what first question was to do the first question was the to what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what their was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was what what what what what what what what what what what was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was my my my my my my my my my my first? yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah? yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah? their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Do my my first fans are there, they went mental for him. They absolutely love him as they should, he's amazing. And I said, right, what do you want to talk about first? The rap or Jimmy Savile? He said, whatever you want,

and he got a big laugh, and then we spoke about the book. Right, small business, It doesn't get much smaller, th sm sm sm much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much smaller. This is, it doesn't get much smaller than this as a small business. I've literally just scrolled through the Instagram messages. Hello, I was wondering if you were able to promote our book on your media. Please let us know. There is, Ellie the Elephant, it's a book from Canada. Go to Poutine, Ely on Instagram.

They've got 17 followers, one post. Oh, here we go. Let's get their followers over a thousand, We can do this. I don't know. Yeah, so basically want your children to learn good habits in a fun way, then Putin routine is for you. We'll be able to pre-order soon. So if you go to Poutine Route Ely, it's a book about Ellie the elephant and it's from Ontario, Canada and it's about a little elephant. it's about Putin. I mean it doesn't get smaller than that. That's mental. Who's saying us that?

Ellie the Elephant, that's all I've got. It's just coming straight from Ellie the elephant. Well, thank you very much. It's got one, their comment on their post that said, hi, Ellie. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, good on you, Ellie. Right, Josh. We're having next week off, aren't we, to catch up. There'll be some best of episodes and then we'll be back with loads of guests and also our chat episodes. It should be a couple of weeks off and then we'll be back.

In your ear, luggoles. Enjoy it. Cheers, bye. Bye.