Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP8: Adam Buxton

Episode Date: February 18, 2022

S04 EP8: Adam Buxton Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian, presenter, actor and podcasting royalty - Adam Buxton. And yes you heard it right, we are very excited to announce we are doing two HUGE live shows in early 2023 - Manchester Arena (Friday 14th April) and London 02 (Friday 21st April) and tickets are now on general sale but going fast!! Thanks - Rob and Josh xxxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellA 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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to the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting each week, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with

Josh Wreckke first. One, two, three, four. This is Romantic. This is Robbernic. This is Josh Winnickum. This is Bobby Bette. Yeah. Oh, it's amazing. That is incredible.

Who's that? It's Kate Nash. She's back. She's back. It's good to have her back in our screens, isn't it? She never went. She never went. She never went. I love that song. It is such a good song that Kate Nash song, isn't it? Yeah. Hi both. Here's my three-year-old song, Mateo. Mateo? Having a go at singing your names to one of his favourite human league songs. That's because that's the tune of the Domely You Want Me, isn't it? I've just realised. I'm a freelance musician and my wife's an orchestral player. There's always music at home, mainly 80s stuff for Matio and his six-year-old sister,

Sophia. That is incredible, that's the the the the the the the the listen at that? I really enjoyed it. Brilliant, yeah, go on. I mean, it's a shame that's not just our theme tune, really, isn't it? Josh Winnickon. Run, Beckett first. One, two, three, four. This is Bobby Beckett. This is Bobby Beckett at the end as well.

Love it. Love it. Part of me feels like he's just saying it himself and done something to the voice to make him sound like a kid. I always just feel as well like, oh my god, should I be doing more with my kids? Yeah, fucking. I've watched six episodes of Bluie this morning. I watched two Japanese kids the age of four twins playing tennis as good as I'd say you know Greg Rosettski can play tennis. And I was thought, why can't my kids play tennis like that? Why haven't I trained them to do it every day? I do think maybe, you know, do the sort of the Venus, Serena Williams thing. Just get your kids onto a sport and just make them do it every day. I don't know if, but I don't know if that's good parenting or not, but they will be good at tennis.

I'm not sure it is. I've got a friend whose kid is a football academy. Yeah. And he's like eight. And he's like eight. Yeah. And he has to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. thrain. thr. I. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. that's, that's that's that's thr. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. that's thr. thr. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's good. that's that's good. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, so if there's no, it's got to come from them, I think. And let's be honest, he's not going to make it. Pahah. I can't wait to this to be played back. It's like when that fan stagged off Frank Lampard. Do you ever seen that clip? He goes, that the fan.

they Rednap goes. I'm telling you now, he's gonna go to the very, very top of this game and they're going to go to the very, very top of this game. And they're going to exactly. That's why I've sat my daughter down and said, you're not gonna succeed at anything. I've still not taught my daughter to ride a bike, she's six, that's bad, isn't it? Oh, it's not the bike's today. Oh, it's not the.

. bad dad. I'm trying my best. Exactly. We scuted to get a magazine earlier. They don't give a fuck about the magazine, do they? They just want the toys. I hate the magazines. They're about nine quid. It's like when I used to get the official PlayStation magazine, you've got demos of games. Now it's like a crap of plastic for six quids. their toys. their toys. Now it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, I. their. their. their. I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I'm. I hate. I hate. I hate. I've. I hate. I hate. I hate. I've. I hate. I'm. I've. I'm. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the. I the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t an actual toy shop and getting a little teddy for about two quid and it feels like they're getting a proper thing then. When they're browsing and you go you haven't opened one of those magazines all you're looking at is what's on the front. Yeah just get him a toy instead I hate the magazines. Anyway how are you? What's happening? You all good don't the news also oh let's do some Instagram messages we've th. We have not th. We have not th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they've th. th. they're they're they're they're their they're they're their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they're they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're tho. tho. tho. to. toge. to. to. toge. to. baby monitor post, we went to a dinner party when our baby was about six months old and we put the baby upstairs in a travel cot and set the monitor up. One end in the baby's room and one end in the party room. It went amazing. The baby didn't make a sound, which was quite unusual under the circumstances.

We felt very smug thinking how brilliant we looked in front of our children's friends, parenting absolutely nailed. Until I until, to actually check on the baby and my husband had put the monitors the wrong way round and had put the microphone end in the very noisy dinner party and the speaker in the baby's room. So had us shouted and laughing at full volume in her face in a house you didn't know. Needless to say she wasn't asleep, her face was pused with puffy eyes and snotted her face from a face in a house you didn't know. Needless to say she wasn't asleep, her face was pused with puffy eyes and snotted her for a face from hard crying. Still crying and probably had been for a while. Absolute nightmare. She's now eight though. So apart from the nervous tick and the fear of being left alone, she's completely fine. That's a joke from Rebecca

I imagine at the end. But we all love those moments. Do you know what? Because it's on that thing of the Spotify account where I mistakenly play music into my daughters, my son's room. Yes. I've had to set him up his own Spotify account, Rob. So have you got like a family Spotify account? You know you can get like a family Spotify where you get more than he got more than own Spotify account. Oh my God, he's so East London. And I had to lie about his age because they wouldn't let him when he asked me for his date of birth and they said he can't have a Spotify account.

That's amazing. But they'll be suspicious when everything's like, but nursery rhymes. This 19 year old's got a weird taste. He's been listening to a lot of the J Rogan podcast. He's had the very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got th. He's got. He's got th. He's got th. He's got th. He's got th. He's got th. He's got th. He's got th. He's got to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's their. He's their. He's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the very fruity views about the vaccine at the moment. Yeah, here's your Spotify Rapped. You're a pedophile, Incel, from what you've been listening to. Nursery rhymes and Joe Rogan. Well, I am worried about my Spotify Rapids at the end of the year, Rob, because I've already done six weeks of nursery rhymes. The whole thing which is like linked up to Spotify or something and like when we go Alexa play Encanto soundtrack when you do it they read out who it's by you know

normally they go playing the soundtrack but they go playing the official Encanto soundtrack it's about three minutes when they list everyone's name because about 40 people have done it is mental I want to get into Encanto she's like an assembly it's like an assembly it's like an assembly when they read out all the people that have got like their certificates like you. But the kids love in Canto. I've realized I've never actually watch anything. Whenever they're watching I'll just sit on the sofa with my phone or asleep. It's bad. It's bad. But yeah and canto's doing pretty well. Do you want a, what would Rob Beckett do? Yep, go on. I don't know why I'm falling apart here, but yep, I'll try my best, give you some advice. Hi, chaps, love the pod. I list to it while I do my daily walk, and it really makes me laugh.

I wanted to ask you how to handle cutting your children's nails. My daughter, Jesse, is really hard working, and she screams and cries if I go anywhere near her to their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to their to to their to do to do their to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do their while I do their while I to do their while I'll their while I'll their while I'll their while I'll do it, while I'll their while I'll their while I their while I their while I their while I their while I their while I their while I their while I do their while I do their while I do their while I do their while I do their their their their their their their their their their their to do to do to do.. today. today. today. today. today. today. today's today, I'll today, I'll today, I'll to do wo at night while she sleeps. Amazing that what can be done with a sleeping child. I feel a bit guilty about it but can't think of how I can convince her to let me cut them. Any ideas? We've tried chocolates, open brackets, bribes, and making it a game with her toys, but nothing seems to to work. Help Jenny. I just think to do it at night, but maybe get one of them little you know them like camping strap lights for your head. Yeah like a kind of like you're going down the mine. Yeah little miners helmet get little miners helmet just do it when she's asleep because really one it's quick and easy for you yeah and she's not getting upset or stress. Eventually she'll be fine this is not like she's got to get over this to

survive in the real world so just if it ain't broke it. It feels like you've got a solution. You don't need... The nails long don't cut it, do you know what I mean? That's it. But I think you've got the solution. Yeah, I agree. You know, it's not like a real lifestyle skill being able to have your nails cut. So just do it when she's asleep. Yeah, I agree. Also from her point of view, if I need a hair cut, right? to if I need a hair cut right in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. If I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I'm, I'm thate, I'm to to to to th. th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th.... I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I the thin, I the theateat, I theat, I theat, I thin, I the, I thin, I the, I thin, beard trim at the moment, if I went to sleep and someone did it in my sleep, I'd be absolutely loving like. I'll be delighted. Imagine waking up with a fresh trim. You know when you're like, oh God, I'm not good. I've got to brush my teeth while I slept. If I could go to sleep and someone couldthere, but... Don't worry, I'm a tea-clean for the morning.

I think that's fine, I don't think you need help. I think you're smashing it. You've solved your own problem there. Exactly. Oh, I'll just let me have a massive long, like, wizard nails. Yeah, one of the two. their two. they bulb in our hallway blew. It was just us and my mom at home and she asked me to turn the

light switch off so that she could change the bulb. My mom told me this was really important. The trouble was was, there were two switches that controlled that light, so I had no idea which way was off. I explained this to my mom and she told me me me me to to to to me me me me me me me me me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me told me the their. their. their. the their. their. their. their me their me their me their the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light me me me me me me me me me me me me me their. the the the the light. I was the the the the told me. told me. told me. told me told me told me told me told me told me told me toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the switch to what I hoped was off. My mom then started to change a bulb and pretended to be electrocuted along a buzzing sound and falling to the floor dead. It was only when I was completely beside myself thinking I'd killed my mom that she came clean. Oh come on now. Needless to say, she found it hilarious. I was traumatized, thanks Laura. Oh my God. That is that is, that is, that is, that is, thiiiiiiiiiiiii, that is, that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is thiol-a, thiol-a, thiol-a, thoing. thoing. thoom-a, tho-a, I thoing. thoing. tho-a, tho-a, tho-a, tho-a, tho-a, tho-a, tho-a, I tho-a, I, I tho-a, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-a. thi-a. thi-a. thanan. thanan. thanananananananttttttalle-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s. tha-s Oh my God. That is brutal in it. Do you think parents just get bored and think this would be a laugh? Would you ever do that to one of your

kids? Do you know what it feels like? It feels like maybe having children because we're still young and we're a bit green into it with young kids. Is it is having children like getting a new car where you have all rules of like I'm not going to drive it down that ti. I'm not going to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going to go in an underground car, no food in it, whatever. And then after a while, it slowly just gets worse and worse, and then you think, fuck it, do what you want in it, do what you want to it. The kids are damaged enough. What's another story? I've got a new computer.

I've got a new computer. And for the last week, report that that app crashed. I'm going to have a clean desktop. I'm going to file stuff. Exactly. But yeah, maybe it's that, maybe that's just what happens. Do you think, um, so do you think we're going to become worse, less caring parents as it goes on Rob? Um, yes. Yes. I think that's what happens. And then when you've got a grandkids, you don't care. You just sort of juggle them about from up in the air. This episode is brought to you by Nispraso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual.

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Hi, th. th woman that was drunk at our live shows and shouted How's your Dog? Yeah. This is from Steve. Hi, Robin Josh, just to listen to this week's podcast and can't stop laughing as the How's your dog woman is my wife Tora. Oh, ma'am. Last week's live show fell on her birthday and the show. the show was a birthday treat, but I made the mistake of bringing her into rather merry before and during the show. Surprisingly she did remember shouting how's your dog the next morning but did not remember falling asleep on the train all the way home with her face and a ham and cold sauce sandwich, I pulled from the shop to try and sober up.

We have a whip it called Wilf and she was over the moon when Rob got Freddy it was almost identical so she was keen to find out how he was. The live show was great, we didn't stop laughing all night, keep up the great one, Steve. Yeah, so that's a great review for the live show, but you may have to be so pissed you can't even stay awake on the journey home. Yeah, we should say today,

the day this is released at 10 a.m. Is when is when is when is when is when the the the the the them. Is when is when is when is when the. Is when the t. Is when the t. Is when. Is when. Is when. It is when. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the t. the t. It's. It's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod.... today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. the the the the two new live shows that we're doing. Yes, Manchester and London. They are next April, which I know is a long way away but there's a, you know. Well no, basically we can't get it sooner. Because all the, because of the COVID, everything's being rescheduled so that's the only time we could get them the room. And also it gives you a chance to to get a babysitter. You've got 14 months to. to. to. to. to. to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's t. It's. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. go online and Google it and the tickets will be available what are they? How does it work? That's how it works, right? We'll put links in everything. Josh, you're panicking about ticket sales, I can sense it. I panic about everything, roll. If they want to come, they'll come, they'll come. Don't let them find it. All right. Kevin Kagan. the mega lash. Furs. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin' the the the the the the the the the thin, thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. Josh, to. Josh, to. to-I. Josh, to-I. to-I. Josh, to-I. to-I. to-I. Josh, to-I. Josh, thi. if not we'll be a laugh anyway wouldn't it me and you in there I've been a mega lash afterwards I can't wait we should organize an after party somewhere yeah we should we're not but gonna put that on the podcast why not because she's doing a club night indigo because I'm not sitting there or somebody who's had cocktail

since midday ask you how your dog is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. What a terrible question. What do you want me to say? It's fucking on that, antibiotics last week? Oh God. Right, do you want another one? Yeah, one last one. Okay, hi, Rob and Josh.

I hope both well. Just been listening to your most recent episode. What is the time where Josh couldn't say how many days in each month without singing the rhyme. I'm a teacher and have a much easier way of remembering. Here we go. Clench both of your knuckles and put them side by side. Starting from the left, your little finger knuckle represents January with 31 days, then February is the dip between the knuckles. Yeah, I've seen this before. So March has got 31, April 30, May 31, June 30, July 31, August 31, September 30. You're not helping.

Sorry, I'm doing it. I'm reading that. But hang on. So you put both your hands out in fifth. Yeah, OK. So January is the 30 first. And then February's in a dip, so has less than 31, moving on to March, the knuckles, 31, etc., July and August are both 31,

then as they are two knuckles side by side when your fists are together. That, I hope that makes that easier. That is mental, that's fucking mental, Emily, why don't you keep your ideas to your doing that nearly crashing. Fuck Sage, look at your phone. Sorry Emily but fucking hell mate. Jesus Christ. I don't think that's better than the rhyme. Absolutely not. Oh dear. Well Josh, shall we, oh introduce the guest? That's what we should do. I just panicked. I thought I didn't record that, but I have been recording it, thank God. I did feel, do you know what, the panic that gripped you, felt like me, to worry about ticket sales. When am I going to stop worrying about life? You can't, it's going to be what it is. It's going to stop worrying about life? You can't. It's going to be what it is. It'll be, it's going. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it'll, it's, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll, it's, it's, it'll, it'll, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to. to, to, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when. When. When. When. When. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, I's, when, I's, when, I's, I'll, when, when, I's, I'll, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I's, when, when, when And I know it's coming from a man that broke down in tears after a gig for seven seconds and then recovered after being heckled. But sometimes you just got to not care.

Yeah, okay, fair enough. Well, talking about someone who needs to chill out, Rob. Yes. Here's Adam Buxton's a very stress man. He's a great guy. the podcast. the tho' he's he's th. th. th. th. th. th. thu's tha's thu's tha's tha's tha's tha's tha's tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' th' th' th' th' th' th' tha' that' th' th' th' th' th' th' th' th' th' th' th'er. th'er. Yeah, th'er. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th' th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha'er. tha'er. tha'er's tha'er's tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er's tha'a'er'er's tha'er'er's 't he? Loves the podcast. Oh, King of the Pods. Enjoy Adam Buxton. Adam Buxton, welcome to the podcast before we start. Have you done a podcast before? Do you need any pointers? Explanation of how it all works? Or you're good.

Uh, am I able to swear? Yeah. As much as you want. So how many kids you got? What's your kids set up? I'm pretty sure I've got three. Yep. I've got there's a girl, there's definitely a girl, she's nice and she seems to like me. There's two boys, one of them's keener on me than the other one. They're teenagers. The oldest one has gone off to university. Oh wow. Last year, studying music production. That was a big deal because we really thought that he was never ever going to leave the house. And I don't think he wanted to leave the house. The middle one is quite different. He's 17 now.

In the best possible way, he doesn't give a shit. I mean, that's a quality that is sometimes a source of anxiety and worry for the lad, and also frustration when the lad doesn't do anything or want to do anything, or do what you say, or what you suggest. But then other times, I do think actually, that's kind of a superpower. If you genuinely don't give a shit, and you're not horrible, which he's not, he's like he's a nice guy and he's got one or two talents, he's quite musical. I think that that's a pretty good way to be because I was the opposite. I gave a shit about everything and it was, you know, crippling. How does not giving a shit? thr an example of him not kind of giving a

shit. Well he doesn't seem to be, I mean I've got to be careful not to malign him unfairly, but he doesn't seem overly worried about his academic progress at school or lack thereof. Yeah. And the whole revising for exams thing, nah, he's not too worried about that. He's got it down. He's like, it's fine, it's fine. I'm gonna do it at the end. This is how I do it, okay? It's like he pretends that he's got a system.

He's like, no, you idiots, you don't understand. The system is, I do it the night before. That's how I that's thatthen we say, yeah, but you failed all of those exams. I know because I didn't do it that time. This time I'm going to do it the night before and it's going to be fine. I went to school in central London right next to Westminster Abbey and I remember wandering around in St. James's Park just before my A-Levels with a bottle of whiskey in my pocket thinking my life is over because I am not on top of these exams and I don't know

what's going to happen to me and the school I went to they drilled it into you that you better pull your socks up Buxton because otherwise you can forget about the rest of your life. You know, if you don't get into this university or that university, that's it. You're done. I really believed it, you know, and it's such a bullshit. So your son doesn't care about that kind of stuff, but obviously you were kind of tormented by it? Do you find it difficult to let go of that yourself? Do you find yourself putting pressure on him with that or do you feel like you can step back and let it just unfold? Well I'm definitely you know in the good

cop bad cop dynamic that my wife and I adopt like many other parents I'm definitely the cop that's saying hey it's fine you're going to be fine don't worry about it whereas she's much more on top of all their educational stuff. I really do think that too much pressure is put th th th on th on th on th on th on th on th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to th th to to to to to the to to to to to to to to let th to let the the the to let the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their the the the the their top of all their educational stuff. I really do think that too much pressure is put on children. And this idea that if you don't get the right exam results, it's all over is bullshit. I appreciate that... You know, we're very lucky in all sorts of ways. They've got a safety net our children and there's all kinds of ways that they're spoiled and we're going to be there for them and not everyone is in that fortunate position.

So the stakes are higher. And the stakes are high for our children as well, you know, I want them to do as well as they can and to do some work and understand that you do actually have to try at things for to come to you. But at the same time, it is not all over if you screw up your exams. Yeah. Also, sometimes you don't have to try hard, genuinely with certain things. Obviously you have to put effort in with things, but for me, like, with certain stuff, if I try hard, I ruinced into over preparing and working too hard and

that stresses them out as well where some people naturally are better if they're more rested and chilled and relaxed than being so crippled with the pressure of it. Yeah, exactly. And also it sometimes seems as if all you're training them to do is play a certain system that actually doesn't equip them with all that many skills for what's really important in life. You know, they still don't teach all sorts of very basic things at school. I think they're beginning to do it a bit more. You know what I mean? Like relationships, how to open a bank account, how to do your washing, how to feed yourself properly. You know, there are more of those elements creeping into education now, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, I, th, th, I, th, th, I, th what, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi, thi, thi thi, thi's thi, thi, thi, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi, th th th th th th th thi, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi th, there are more of those elements creeping into education now, I get the impression.

And they're beginning to talk about like, oh, you know, treat people with respect and do all that sort of stuff. But still, there are yawning gaps there that are filled with just a load of stuff that you learn by rote that you're never going to use. Totally agree. Obviously you went to a school which was very proper and about results and all that kind of thing. Who the fuck goes to school in Westminster? Where's this gaff? Oh, they're rude of it. You're not going to believe what it's called.

You said it in the word. Westminster School. Yeah, this was an expensive private private, to parents got me into that my dad was very excited to get me into. He kind of got a last minute deal. He got a cheap deal like, you know, sometimes if you book hotels at the right time, you can get quite a nice room for a lot less. I think that's what he got with Westminster and as a result I started a term later. Oh right. Did you have siblings as well Adam? I they go th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha term later. Oh right. Did you have siblings as well, Adam?

I did, yes, I was the oldest of three. No, they didn't go there. The thing with my dad, which I wrote about in my book, was that he kind of overreached financially and he ran out of money. It's a lot of pressure on you. Yeah, I basically emptied the pot. Oh fuck. That's a lot of pressure. It was a lot of pressure. I mean, my brother and sister did start to go to similar schools, but yeah, he had to take my brother out and he never really forgave himself for that.

And there was a lot of pressure on me that I didn't feel at the time. Oh my God. No, why only got a bottle of whiskey and fart jokes. Exactly. But then later on, I really did feel like like, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th and th and th and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, and th, th, th th that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr. thr. the the the thee theeeeee the theee theeee theeee thoooooooo. the the the gling toys on Channel 4 and doing poo and fart jokes is not what my dad was imagining when he spent all his money and ruined his marriage by sending me to an expensive school. But you got him on the show? Was that a kind of, was that a nod to it? I've got my dad on the TV show as a kind of slight

payback? 100%? Yeah, it definitely was. That was one of the big things I was thinking was like here you go dad you see it wasn't a total waste of money after all and I used to love it when we did this is I'm talking about a show called the Adam and Joe Cornish used to do on Channel 4 and my dad who was then in his mid-70s was drafted in to be our kind of youth correspondent and we'd go out out out out out out out out out out th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the today. the the the the today. the toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the to the in to be our kind of youth correspondent. And we'd go off to festivals with him and he'd review records and hip-hop and the spice girls and all sorts of stuff. You know, the joke was, ha ha, here's this posh old guy and he's totally out of toucest toub anta because he hated it all.

Are you going to sue Jack White for stealing your idea or just leave it? Ha ha ha ha. Well, I don't think we invented the idea of getting your parents involved with fun shenanigans. The thing about Jack Whitehall is that he's always on screen with his dad. I never really was. We always just used to leave him to it, my dad. But I really did think, here we go, look, I've come good after all that money you wasted at the school. Here we are on TV, because he liked being on TV, my dad. Well he was a writer, wasn't he, a wine critic, is that right? Yeah, exactly. He was a travel

writer and he wrote about wine, yeah, that was his big passion and he loved walking. Well, travel and wine is all very very, that was, that was, that was, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he's, he's, he's, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, thr-a thr-a' throo''ea'ean. toli. than. than. than. thanan. He's than. He's than like about money and sort of like you know there's always a next level up and I suppose he sort of translated that into schooling as well where that school is probably one of the best in the country I imagine. Yeah he came from a big working-class family in Sussex and his parents helped to run an estate for a wealthy family. They basically had it drummed into them that they would do anything they to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. ne. neck. neck. neck. neck. neck. neck. neck. neck. their. neck. their. their. their. their had it drummed into them that they would do anything they could to be part of the establishment, you know, that they would move up the social ranks. And so my dad always aspired to being part of what he saw as the right people and the right environment and go to Oxbridge and read the right books and plus he was a clever guy

who worked really hard. So it's not as if he didn't belong there, you know what I mean? It's not as if he didn't have what was required. How does that reflect then kind of upbringing that you've given your kids? What do you take from that and then place onto them as a parent? I'm raising them to be working aspires to you now. Everyone hates posh people. So I'm bringing them up as East Enders.

Jelly deals for breakfast, stuff like that. Yeah. Swap Rosie for a whip it. That's right. Rosie's your dog, by the way, not your daughter, just to confirm to the listeners. No, it's very tricky to walk the line between, you know, your instinct as a parent is to do well for your children, is to give them the things that you never had. I mean, I had pretty much everything

that I could possibly need when I was younger, but there's always gonna be a gap there, whatever your upbringing is like. And for me, the gap was a closer relationship with my own parents because they sent us off to these schools, you know, I went to boarding school and I was quite young. Oh, is that a boarding one, the Westminster one? Well, actually I'd been to boarding school before then and by the time I got to Westminster I said, oh I want to carry on boarding because I was sort of institutionalized. Yeah. We lived in London so I could easily have gone home. I could have been a day boy. But I said, no, no, I want to be a border.

I want to carry on with that life because it was more fun. You know, you're a big boy, you're grown up, that kind of stuff, yeah. Yeah, intense friendships and... Did you ever wank on a biscuit? Is that a thing or is that made up? I never took part in the sticky biscuit ritual to which you are referring. So sog. I. I. I I I I. I I I I I I. I to to to to to to to to to to to to the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi thi. I'm th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to theeeea. I'm to to to try. I'm to to thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I th. I referring. Soggy, I feel soggy biscuit, sticky biscuit, same vibe. So did it happen? I've heard soggy biscuits, sticky biscuit, not that I'm aware of. I never ever heard of anyone actually doing that. No. Are you going to spell it out for the listeners now or am I?

Well, you all stand in a circle, I imagine, and masturbate, and eats the biscuit covered in semen. That's the one. That's the one. We have a lot of older listeners that may not be aware, so I think it's great to spell that out. Just in case. I want to go back to my point. I don't want to be K. Burley here. Were there biscuits?

Were there biscuits? Were there were lots of biscuits we used to get free chocolate digestives but no there was no custard cream action. None of that. No special fillings. That didn't happen I mean going to school in London we felt that we were not part of that kind of super posh public school elite world. In fact we looked down on those people. We made jokes about Etonians and how stuck up they were and how out of touch they were. We felt that we were just regular guys, you know, it didn't occur to us. You're like urban,

inner city kids. Yeah, exactly. Plus the uniform was different, you know, we didn't have to wear sort of tai coats and straw boaters and things like th th that. th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi. We tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho- tho- tho-a. We tho-a. We tho tho th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We the. We the. We the. We the. We the. We the. We the. We theateateateateateate. We theateate. We theateateate. We theate. We the. We the. We the. We the. Plus the uniform was different, you know, we didn't have to wear sort of tailcoats and straw boaters and things like that. We just wore a black suit. So we looked like reservoir dogs wannabies, you know. And you were listening to like, I've read your book, which I loved. I realize I'm like telling you about your own childhood. But basically, you know, you say you were kind of, you thought you were urban and stuff, but you were watching films and you're getting stoned and like, you know, you've made two very long-term friends there that we're aware of, like, still aware of Joe Cornish and Louis Thoreau. And so like, yeah. I look at that and I go, it seems like quite a fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, it thu tho' a to the fun, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be too' to be too' too' to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be quite to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite to be quite too, too, too, too, too... too. too. too. too. too. too, too, too, the the the too, the the the too, the too, the too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, people there like that. It felt fun, it felt vibrant. After a while it did. For the first year, it felt grim. I'd been at a co-ed boarding school and I really liked being around girls, you know, and I liked the fact that it kind of balances

out the laddiness, and it's more kind of, you can talk about your feelings without anyone kind of beating you up and things like that. So when I got to Westminster, which was all boys until the sixth form, it was a real shock and I didn't like it and I didn't know how to talk about football and cars and all this stuff that these other boys were talking about. But then after a while, you know, after I met Joe and Louis and people like that, you know, I fell in th fell in with that crowd and they were all very funny and motivated and cultured and I just tagged along. And we made films and put on plays and I really, really lucked out, you know, but it's not the same for so many other children.

I think now, especially looking at my own children, they're not having the same time at school that I did, I don't think, at all. And sometimes it doesn't click in the least and they don't make any friends. But I think everything happens a lot later for children now. Don't you reckon? Like, I think a 19-year-old is often the equivalent of a 14-year-old when I was th-old when I was. In what sense? There's kind of an innocence. Right, yeah. That stays with children a lot longer. Yeah. In certain ways, obviously you've got social media and things like that.

Less independence, I think, physically, online's different, but like out and about, when you're 13, you could go down the park in your own or 12 or whatever, but now I think people are more wary letting the kid, especially in London, go out on their own. Exactly, exactly. So we were left to our own devices and we had that independence that being a border kind of instills. Even though Joe Cornish, for example, was a day boy, he was more of a mysterious figure. He would disappear at the end of the day. But the rest of us were all banged up together as it were and would go on adventures and you kind of escape from cold it's and you sneak out after hours and wander around London and go arcades and go boozing and it was good fun in that way. And would you have considered ever sending your children to boarding school? No, not for a second because I think what you lose is pretty significant. For me, I think the thing I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi I thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin the the the the thin thi thin and you the th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you thu th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and you th and th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the thin the thin theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee an the the the to children to boarding school? No, not for a second, because I think what you lose is pretty significant.

For me, I think the thing I lost was a close relationship with my parents. The older I got, the more I regretted it, and the more I envied friends of mine who had different, quotes, more normal relationships with their parents. I never understood people who phoned up their mum every day and things like that. You know, it's like I spoke to my mom a couple of times a year in my 20s. Not very often at all, you know, I'd see them. Actually, I'm exaggerating. I'd see them at family occasions and definitely at Christmas which I always look forward to, but there was definitely not a closeness there, which I really regretted.

And I do blame that on boarding school. And what do you do with your kids to kind of readdress that? Do you feel like you've got a much closer relationship with your kids than you had with your parents? What I do to make up for that is I smother my children with my creepy attempts to be their best friend? And I stunt their emotional growth by keeping them far too close too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too thoooo tho th too tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoom thoomoom. thi. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thea thea thea thea theiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thea. thea. thir best friend and I stunt their emotional growth by keeping them far too close to me and telling them I love them all the time so that any semblance of independence is completely squeezed out of them. But imagine that for the like the 19 year old is at uni now you're cool dad you're like you know you're in the public eye but you do a cool podcast

and your shows are sort of like, they sort of come back as like cult hits almost, even though they were on tele years and years ago, those ones with Adam and Joe stuff. So as you mentioned any of that to you, has that been brought up at uni. Because Adam and Joe is sort of like, . T the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people they they th. I found, I don't know if it's because I'm older now, but are you getting any feedback from your oldest? No, no.

You're a cool guy, do you ever say to him, hey, I'm a cool guy? I'm your dad. He thinks I'm cool. Yeah, he likes what I do. And sometimes, sometimes I worry about that as well. I basically worry about every single thing. In parenting, I just don't have, there's th, no, no, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, thi, thi, they, thi, their, thi, their, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, t.a, I'm, th. thin, no, no, no, th. th single thing. In parenting, I just don't have, there's basically tiny little windows of confidence when you think, oh, actually I'm pretty nice and I'm a pretty good parent. But 98% of the time, and I was talking to Gus Khan about this when he came on to my podcast,

and I kind of explained to him how I feel just diffident and anxious and scared that maybe I should never have had children. I've just brought these people into the world so I can screw them up and extend universal unhappiness a bit further. Does just looked at me and he was like, fuck it out. That is not. You should just chill out. He's like, well if I get to the end of the day and they're all still alive, it's jobs are good. Yeah. Actually that is the best way to look at it. And I'm making out like I'm in existential turmoil the whole time I'm not and there's many, many happy moments and I love. I think you are a bit, aren't you, Adam? I mean, definitely a fair bit. Yeah, there are definitely a lottapapapapapapapapapapap. A their a their their that's a fair that's a that's a fair that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a their their their their th. Yeah, their their their their their their their their their that's that's their that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that's their their that's their that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a th. that's a th. th. th. th. th. the. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the oh, I'm not cut out for this. How did you cope when they were little then, Adam? Now obviously it's slightly different worries,

you know, essentially 19-year-olds that are grown-up. How did you deal with them when they were little and they had a temperature and not well before they could communicate and stuff like that? Was that difficult? No, actually it was easier it was very one way, you know, and you could indulge your fantasies of being a fun dad, which that was the thing for me. I was talked into having children, basically. It was not something I ever imagined I would do.

My son now, and a lot of his friends as well, very few of them want to have children. I don't know if that's a generational thing, but I was like that when I was younger. I just thought, no, way am I going to have children. That's clearly a terrible idea, way too much work, and I'm not the kind of person that would probably do a good job of it. But then I met my beautiful wife, and in the euphoria of getting her and thrived-and thus-and thus-and thus-and thus-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, I thus, I thus, I th th th th th th th th thi, I thi, I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, I'm, I th th th thi, I th th th thi, I th thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thus, I thus, I thus, I thus, I thus, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the the the the the that that to that to to that to that that that that that that that that that that that that that th euphoria of getting to know her and then getting married and just building this new life together, when she suggested having children, I just said, yeah, that'll be fun. Good job. And I understood, I swear to you, that we had had a conversation, and she said, don't worry, I'll do all the work, you carry on pissing about and doing whatever you do for your so-called career. I promise you we had that conversation. She says we definitely did it. Anyway, so we had children and for the first

few years it more or less worked out the way I imagined. Sure, it was definitely way more work than I expected. I was shocked by that feeling of permanent exhaustion and immediately started fantasizing about things that I used to do like just sitting down for a while and doing nothing. I think I'm just going to sit down and watch TV for an hour or so. Oh, I might play a video game for a while. Now I'm just going gonna go out and see a film on my own. Or all that sort of stuff, you suddenly think, oh, I can't do that anymore.

And it's quite a nasty shock. I hadn't really thought about it. How old's your youngest? My youngest now is 13. So you're getting to that your thumbs a bit of weekends or is it still busy with them taking them places you're just a cab driver now yeah well to be honest my wife is the primary cab driver yeah she has instilled in them a love of sport that is not something that was ever a part of my life when I was

growing up in fact me and Joe kind of existed in opposition to the sporty people. We were, they were our enemies. We were like the East Thetes going off and seeing movies and listening to music and reading poetry to each other and playing Socky Biscuit. But the sport guys, they were to be avoided at all costs. Mainly it must be said because we were shit at sport. And so we just didn't want anything to do with them. But my daughter is really good. In fact all the boys are quite good although they haven't really stuck with it. I say all the boys, the other two. But my daughter is great. So she plays everything like netball, hockey and cricket and all this stuff. And so every weekend it drives me slightly nuts actually she's off doing that. Do you go and watch? I watch sometimes but not that often.

Have you got into it because she's doing it or is it still as much as you enjoy your daughter doing well and enjoying herself you're just like I don't like this sport it's mainly that, yeah, especially, especially cricket. I mean that is just the worst. Absolutely terrible stuff. Absolutely terrible stuff. A brutal way to describe. Also as well, imagine what if your daughter's waiting to go in back. You're literally just watching strange children play while your daughter's on the sideline. Yes, you might not be me on the pitch.

Netball, however, amazing. Really good. I love watching her play that. And she's fantastic. She's so much the opposite of what I was and am in so many ways. It's amazing. I mean, all the children have qualities that I really admire and envy and it makes me happy whenever I see them being good at

that sort of stuff but she's amazing. She has self-control and you know we play video games and she'll say okay that's enough I've got some work to do now. I'm like who where the hell did you come from? Because I'm like, come on, we can play one more. How much work have you got to do? You don't have to do any work. Do me a favor. You're 13. Play some more video games with me. I want to play video games now. It's that sort of dynamic. You live in Norfolk. I presume you lived in London originally, so did you move out because of the kids? Yeah, when we had our third child, our daughter, that was the deal.

My wife morally blackmailed me. And she said at one point, like, I just thought, you know, I couldn't believe that we'd had two children. I was like, wow, look at us, we've got two children. This is ridiculous. And I thought, well, we're definitely going to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have their their their tho this is ridiculous and I thought well we're definitely going to stop there and she said no no I I really want to have a third child I say are you joking? Oh my god we were just coming through the tunnel and now you want to just plunge us right back in I said okay but if we do then let's move out of London because there's no point in being in London we're not going out we don't see anyone we don't to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have the the the the the the the their their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. their. their. their. their. I. I London, because there's no point in being in London. We're not going out.

We don't see anyone. We don't get to have any fun. Let's at least just go into the country so I can just have some space and, you know, wander around the fields. Had you always wanted to live in the country? Yeah, I think so. I grew up in the country in Wales, and my dad always loved tho to to to to the to to to to the to thoomomomom always tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to tho the the country the country thrown, the country the country the country the country the country the country the country to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, the. throooooooooooooooooo the country, the country, the country, the country, throooooo the. the countryside and it rubbed off on me. And also, I just like the idea of having a lot more space, you know. We live in a farmhouse now that's surrounded by barns. And I just like having these big spaces that I could fuck around in and hang up a big green screen and do video stuff and try things out. Get a drum kit, things like that.

Where was you in London, was you right? th??? ths like that. Where was you in London then? Was you right in the centre? Yeah, we were in Stockwell. Oh right. Yeah, I grew up in South London, so I liked that part of the world. But it was a long way from all the yummy mummies up in North London. That's where my wife would have preferred that we were. Oh really. So did she not want to to to to to to to to was cool with moving out because we ended up moving quite close to where she grew up in Norfolk. She's from this part of the world, that's why we ended up here. So we went close to her folks and it made sense.

Is Joe Cornish got kids? He does. He's got a daughter now. Because he's so weird when your friends are going through different things to you. Yeah, it is odd. Although it's nice, it's nice to see the effect that it's having on him, you know, because it can't help but take some of the edges off a person, don't you reckon? Yeah. So it was just a ball, we got a sack of a man. A ball sack of a man. That must be mad watching someone like start, so your daughter would have been 11 or whatever at that point,

and you're watching someone go from the moment of having a baby. Do you even relate to that now? Do you know what I mean? Does it feel a complete different part of your life? I suppose it feels a little bit like having grandchildren. Yeah. Enough time has gone by that I forget the worst aspects of having children that age. And I just think, oh, sweet. But nothing about it personally makes me want to go back and have more. For my wife, I think she sees that sort of stuff and she goes, oh I wish we could have one more. Fine. I don't think so. I don't really enjoy the baby stage. I like it when they're sort of toddling around 18 months but that first zero to 80 months I don't look back with any

nostalgia really. It's tough. No. The very first weeks, I remember that being magical, like dream-like and wonderful. But then when the reality kicks in, especially when they get ill, like our first son had quite a lot of health problems when he was younger. Also I was away for about 10 weeks, me and Joe went to Japan to do a TV show for BBC 3 out there. And my wife had to deal with all this stuff on her own. And I felt really bad and worried because he was in and out of hospital. It was just grim, that part of it.

Even before he started getting ill, it was like, you're just trying to keep them alive and you're just, your brain is cycling through all these catastrophic scenarios, like, you know, carrying him down the stairs in my arms and I'm thinking, I might trip any second and if I trip, I'll tumble down the stairs and I'll completely break this child. Oh, that's what goes through my mind completely. That is exactly my inner monologue. It's awful. And you just scroll through the rest of your life after that had happened, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, thi, the, the, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thr, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they.e. And, they, the, the, the, thethrough the rest of your life after that had happened. And it's just appalling. I mean, I think it's the mind's kind of self-defense mechanism of just keeping you on your toes, reminding you of all the terrible things that could happen if you're not careful, you know. But it is so exhausting and scary and unpleasant.

So yeah, when they start getting a little more robust, and then miraculously when they start getting a little more robust, and then, miraculously, when they start communicating with you, then it gets a lot more fun. Yeah. I think we're needy and need feedback. That's why this is our job. Yeah, it's three people that thrive on interaction, I suppose, to an extent. Yeah, well, maybe that's men as well,

though, but... Just generalize away. I just accused you and all your mates are wanking on biscuits. No, but there's got to be some fundamental things going on between men and women, and the difference that it makes, if you're a woman and you've given birth to something, the difference that makes to your whole philosophy. You know what I mean? Like for a man to never be able to have that experience, I just think it's got to be part of the reason why so many men are fixated on their careers and with some spurious notion of a legacy and being remembered and all this kind of bullshit. Legacy is the biggest shit of all time. What's the point of working towards something that you'll never to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have th be to have to have to have tha to have tha to have tha to have tho be tho tho tho tho thate tho thate that you that you that you that you thathea that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thate thate thate tha tha the thea the the the tha theaa thaaaaaaaaaa thaa'a'a tha'a that that that that that tha this kind of bullshit. Legacy is the biggest shit of all time. What's the point of working towards something

that you'll never be there for? Well, exactly, exactly. And far more valuable is bringing a life into the world and giving it a good start and turning that person into someone who enjoys being alive and makes the world better for other people as well. And it's a physical, hormonal, actual thing when, you know, a lady has a baby, whereas a bloke, it's sort of, you're there while it's happening, but it's not your body, you know, it's not coming out of you. No,

exactly, unless you're Arnold Schwarzenegger. In that documentary? Yeah, right. I think really under it. thinneigh to them. to their to-I their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thin. thin. their, thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. too, too, too, too, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, you, their, you, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thr. thi. too. too. too. too. too. too. toda. too. too. th. toe. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, teenagers and talking to them, because you're very open and you're very kind of honest about how you're feeling. Do you manage to communicate to your teenagers in that way? Because like obviously all the things that teenagers go through relationships or having to chat to them about drugs or whatever. How are you with stuff like that? I'm very happy to talk to them about it, but again, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how....... So, how, how, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is.a, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is.a, is.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. toe. toe.a. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. too, too, to, the worry is, there's always a worry and the worry is that you don't want to go too far. I was saying before about what my son thinks of me, you know, we get on great and we have a lovely time. We went to see a band the other day, we saw Johnny Greenwood's new band, the smile in London. And then I bet you could introduce him to Johnny Greenwood as well, which must be big points, right? Yeah, it's exciting to be able to show him that life and reap the rewards of my career such as it is. And we had such a great evening and it was like, wow, this is exactly what I imagined, like the best of being a dad would be, you know,

to share these kinds of enthusiasms and good times with my son. But the whole thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing things things th thing th thing th thing th thing th thing thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. the, I the. the. the. the. theeea. thea. theea. thea. theeea. the. the. the. the.these kinds of enthusiasms and good times with my son. But the whole thing of being your son's best friend is a weird thing. Like with my dad, it was not that at all. It was like, well, you don't want to be best friends with your children because there's all sorts of drawbacks. It's much harder to create boundaries, it's much harder for them to establish a sense of independence, it's quite useful sometimes. Whether you love your parents or not, you go through a stage of pushing against them and thinking that they're twats and wanting to be on your own and wanting to do the opposite of what they want to do, you know. But it is heartbreaking as a parent if you do to see them do that, to see them pull away. I just just their their their their their their. I their. I their. their. I their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tho. tho. thrown. tho. their. their. thoe. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their. their, their. their. their their their their te. te. te. tea. tea. tea. teaughea. tea. tea.a. tea. teato see them do that, to see them pull away.

I just can see my future. He's drawing you into the worry womb. So many of the things just go, I'm just like, oh yeah, I've lived that, I've lived that. That's my head. That's exactly what I go through. And then I you, and probably me and Gus Khan should be left alone. Between us, we can get a right level of how we should be feeling. That's for me, the primary worry is I don't want to infect them with my overthinking bullshit. But at the same time, what I do want to do is do the things that my parents were never able to do for me. So to talk to them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their their their their their their the things that my parents were never able to do for me. So to talk to them straight about things that really are important

and to give them a sense that they can talk to me about all this stuff rather than hide away. Like there was no way I was ever going to talk to my parents about sex or drugs or anything like that. I was like, nah, that's too embarrassing and I just want to keep to keep to keep and I want to go off and be furtive and creep around and keep all of that stuff secret. Have you had to do any telling-offs for your teenage boy especially the older teenagers coming in like drunk or things like that or spending money or not paying your back? Is there have been any big moments where you've had to the to lay down the law? the law? the law the law the law the law the law the law the law the law the law the law the law the law. the law. the law. the law. the law. the law. the law. the law. the law. the law. the law. the law. the the their their to to to their their their their to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their th. the. the. the. the. thean. thean. their their their their their thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. to to to to to totally catastrophic because I think most of the time when they're in those situations they know they've fucked up and actually us being angry with them is not what's needed. It's usually like, oh man,

you know, because you feel bad for them. So you say, okay well never mind, don't do that again. You know, they, the things went wrong not because they were malicious. Yes. But the times you get really upset and angry are if you think that they've been unkind to someone else. Yeah. If you think that they've been one of those people who were buliish or just unkind or, you know, thoughtless or whatever. Fay Ripley's daughter run up a bill of like, was it a thousand pounds on Uber? Because she was just getting Uber's to school and secretly did it and then they got the bill and then Fay said, no you can't go on holiday with your friend now. She was like 16, 17, because you need to pay that money back.

So she canceled the holiday of her mate in like be done I think. Obviously you don't want to rub their nose in it if they've done something bad but you know repercussions as it were community work kind of stuff. There's never been anything so catastrophic that it's had to come to that I'm glad to say. So you're implying basically you're a better parent than Fay Ripley which I think I agree on. No no I think no I think thi rippliple is is is is is is a that's is a that's is a that's is a that's is a that's is a that's is a good is a good that's is a good that's that's that's that's that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good I that's a good I that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they that's they they they they their p. I'm their their their thi thi thi their thi they. I thi. I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm the the the the the the the the the they. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm th that that to me that's the she's doing the boundary setting that I'm probably too weak to do. I don't know no I feel as if I would I'd lay down the law I'd send them to prison I'd you know I'd beat the shit out of them if they did something really bad obviously. Time up to a barn for the night just so they know knows who they know who's boss. Oh man it's thi they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thin tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I tho. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho. I the the. I the. I the. I the the the to to to to to to to to that's to to to to to to to the to to thoo tho thoo tho tho tho thoeness and things like that that I get really upset about, you know? It's just sort of interpersonal skills. If they're not willing to look me in the eye or give me a straight answer or if they're just

sort of grumpy with me for no particular reason that I can discern, that's when I turn into a massive asshole and start saying go to your room and not anymore but that's what it used to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like to be like the to be like the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. It's just sort sort sort sort sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of inter personal sort of thi. thi. thi. It's just sort sort sort thi. thi. It's just sort thi. It's just sort thi. I thi a massive asshole and start saying, go to your room and not anymore, but that's what it used to be like when they were younger. I was just thinking about the things that used to be dangerous as far as running up bills were apps that they're free apps, but then it's like, do you want to buy a sword for six quid and all this? Gems. There you go, swords and gems. And actually not

my children but one of my best friends, his kid was using his phone or something and basically was able to rack up a sword and gems bill of 1,600 pounds. Oh my God. Oh God. Get out. Yeah. So many gems. They didn't freak out because obviously it was clear that the kid didn't know what was going. Oh my God. Oh, damn it! Get out! Yeah. So many gems. They didn't freak out because obviously it was clear that the kid didn't know what was going on. And also, we both knew that the joy that this child must have felt when it was like, oh my God, I'm just getting all this stuff for free.

This is great. I can unlock anything. This is crazy. It must have been the most the most the most the most the most the most the most they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they realized. they they they they they they they they they they they thi. thi. thi. they thi. th. th. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. I thi. thi. I the. I the. the. the. the. threat. the. threat. the. the. theeeeeeeat theat. thee. the. the. they they is crazy. It must have been the most intensely brilliant feeling until they realized like, oh shit, this is real money. And that feeling must have been equally and oppositely appalling. Oh my god. So did the kid realize themselves and tell the dad? Yeah, and they came in and they were crying. Oh no. Poor soul. They just thought this is it.

It's all over now. I'm going to be killed. Oh, I'd hate that. That would be the worst feeling, especially because the kids are so oblivious. Yeah. I think they were able to get in touch. No one's ever needed 1600 quids worth of gems. Do you know I mean? Except Donald Trump. It's like ordering like 2,000 bananas. You know I didn't order them. I'm meant to put 20. Yeah, exactly. You're supposed to get a call at that point from the Lord of the Kingdom. Yeah. Yeah. Suspicious activity of your the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thine thine thine thine thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thine hundred hundred hundred hundred hundred hundred hundred hundred thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the to the to to the te twee twee twee twea twea twea twea the thi thi th at that point from the Lord of the Kingdom. Yeah. Suspicious activity of your gem purchasing. Welcome, Kingdom Dweller.

However, we couldn't help noticing you appear to have purchased more gems and swords than the ruler of this empire. Did you mean to purchase them and do you have the permission of your parents to do so? How are you with phones? That's another thing which I find like utterly terrifying, like phones and social media. Oh man, I was watching something on BBC 3 last night. Did you see that show about Instagram? No. No. My God. I mean it is a total nightmare. The thing is, as I was watching it, I was thinking like, I do think the narrative about social media is a little skewed in some ways. I do think that there are positives and that it can be helpful for certain people and

certain marginalized groups and maybe it's even positive for forming certain friendships and things like that, but it is impossible to ignore how horrific so much of it is. And watching this show last night made me so angry. These kind of poor people who had been sucked into this bullshit on Instagram, who were changing and damaging their bodies in order to live up to the expectations of what they thought everyone else was getting involved with. Oh, the Instagram effect, is that what it's called? I think that's what it was.

I didn't watch the whole thing. And, you know, is this woman who'd had surgery to enlarge her ass, they'd done liposuction on her tummy and stuck it into her bumm because she thought that or the big wiggly bumm was the thing to have on Instagram and she thought that would boost her numbers and then, and her logic was, big bums are in, so I'm gonna get big bum surgery and then I'll get better numbers and then that will make me a more successful influencer.

And then when I have children, I'll be able to take care of them better. And I just thought, no disrespect but, I've spotted a number of flaws in your logic stream. And the first flaw for her, sadly, was that her surgery was a total nightmare and didn't work out well for her at all. She had all sorts of health-related issues. And all of this stuff is juxtaposed with these interviews with these fucking guys, these sort of hipsters from California who developed all this software

and all the algorithms that make it incredibly addictive and they've all got their absolutely perfect neat little haircuts and to do them credit they were sort of saying yeah we didn't think hard enough about how this was going to pan out for actual real users. Yeah, who maybe didn't have the kind of upbringing that we did or, you know, different pressures. God. So they're thinking about it now, but then none of them thought about it at the time. All they were thinking about was like, this is great.

This is going to make our application way more addictive, which is going to be great for the business, and I'm going to get promoted and this is exciting. We've have th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, theateateateatean the, the theate, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the their their their their the, the, the, the, the, thean, thin, thean, thrii. thrii. thriii. thean, thean, thriiii. thri. thean, thean, thean and this is exciting. We've developed some crazy new algorithms that are going to be totally irresistible and aren't we geniuses so it was a total picture of hell. And I thought oh my god you know my daughter is playing with this stuff she's upstairs scrolling through Instagram now probably. TikTok's so addictive. Is it? Does she got TikTok? Tock? Yeah, she's got Tick Tock. That is really addictive because it's, basically Instagram is sort of like, you follow people and you see what's going on and after a while you're, they're annoying me, fuck this. But what the For You page doesn't tick-took it, it creates an algorithm for you.

So you're not even picking what you're you the you their their you their their their you. it out and you feel like a foie gras goose just being filled up. Oh God. And then I just cannot cope with anything that's longer in about 25 seconds. I had to delete it from my phone for a bit. Yeah. My boys actually are not fussed about social media at all. So for some reason that's bypassed them and they're happy without it. But yes, I do worry about my daughter even though she's very smart and she's too young to have a presence on there herself so she's mainly just looking at other stuff that's on my to-do list for today actually sit down with her and say I was

watching this program last night and it tweaked a lot of my deepest fears about being a shit parent so can we have this conversation again because we have had it before and... Oh God! So will you be sitting her down this afternoon when she gets home from school for that chat then? Yeah man, Depper. Just to just to check in. Because I mean I do trust her and I do think she's fine but then I'm sure that's what the parents of all these other children who've fallen foul of it thought. You know you just think

you'll be all right but then you don't know what's going on in the head of a child and you don't know what things are worrying them. You know, I used to be really excited about showing all my favorite films to my children. That was one of the main fantasies I had about being a parent. And I definitely showed them a few things that they were too young to see. Well, I think we watched, I mean nothing terrible, what was the worst one? I mean we probably watched alien a little bit too young, but even so, you know, 13, 14 perhaps. Yeah, it's quite a scene to see, isn't it, 13 or 14 the John Hurts seen. Yeah, even though,

for modern viewers, it's, uh, when the actual alien pops out, it's really not that frightening. No spoilers, I've not seen it. Oh, it's good, man. Have you really not seen alien? And I'm joking. But the films that actually ended up traumatizing them were the ones that I thought were going to be totally fine.

You know, it's things like, labyrin Labrins actually with Bowie. They couldn't even make it through that. They found that totally terrifying but they were a little too young. Gremlins that was fairly scary I think. Yeah. Bits of Zathura which they really liked. When you feel you're showing your kid something that you loved I'd feel a pressure on that you know like when you're showing a friend a YouTube video or something and suddenly I can see the moment I'm the the the. the the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thi thin thin thin. thin' thin' thi thi the. the. the. the. the. the of the. theate. the's the of th. thr. the. the. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the is the the the the the the. theeean theean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean theeeeeeeean th moment I'm showing it to a friend and saying this is funny, it feels like the unfunniest thing in the world to me and I get kind of neurotic about it. The thought of sitting down my children and going, this means a lot to me, I want you to enjoy it. Yeah. I can't imagine that plays into your personality type. No it's a lot of pressure that p p p p p pressure. I. I. I that p p p p p. I. I that plays. I that plays that plays. I that plays. I that plays. I that plays. I that plays. I that plays. I that plays. I that plays. I that plays. I that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays that plays. I that plays. I that plays. I play. I play. I play. I play. I that plays that plays that plays into that plays into that plays into that that that that plays into that. I play that's plays into that. I play that's that. I play that's that's that's that's that's that plays into that plays into that. I play it's a lot of pressure and I did have to get beyond that feeling of slight resentment when they didn't connect with it the way that I did. You know, I sat my daughter down and we watched, what did we watch?

There was something we watched that I thought you are gonna absolutely love this. I think it was Ferris Bueller's day off and I sat down one afternoon with her and I was ready for it to be like th. th.. th. th.. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, to be, th, to be, th, to be, to be, th, th, th, th, to be, to be, th, to get, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th........ I, th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, toei. toei. tooi. toea. thin, thi. thi, thi, was ready for it to be like this incredible bonding exercise and she was like yeah it was fine but she just didn't get it and I and then I thinking about it I thought of course she didn't immediately love it because it's so so much of it is of its time it's quite dated in all sorts of ways they need something contemporary I think to get really excited about. As she sat you down or your boy set you down to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the their, th. th. I'm tho. I'm, th. I'm, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, I, I, th. I'm th. I'm tho, tho. I'm thoo. I'm thooooooooooooooo' thoooooo' thoooo' tho. I tho. I th. I th to get really excited about. She sat you down or your boy set you down to watch something that they love. Yeah we were actually in the lockdown my um 17 year old said let's watch Eric Andre's bad trip. And what is that? And we were like, do you know that film?

No I've not seen Eric Andre's bad trip. Oh man. Do you know that film? No, I've not seen Eric Andre's bad truth. Oh man. Do you know who Eric Andre is? No. He's an American comedian. Oh, I recognize him now. He does this thing called the Eric Andre's show, which is this sort of insane. It's a bit like Vic and Bob. Yeah. Plus meets Jackass or something, you know. swim is really good and he's a really really funny guy but a lot of his stuff is quite extreme pranky stuff. Not in a cruel way all the jokes are always on

himself he's very good but Eric Andre's bad trip is like a feature-length pranky movie and we all sat down to watch this as a family and there's one there's one scene where they go to the zoo, and it's all shot a bit like bore at, you know, with real people who don't know what's going on, and he's playing all these characters and these scenes are unfolding in public. There's one scene where they go to the zoo,

and Eric Andre's character somehow gets trapped in a pen with a big, Randy gorilla, and ends up getting basically violated by the gorilla. And then just when you think that's extreme enough, and all these people are watching and they think it's real, even though it's obviously a man in a gorilla suit, they're all freaking out and filming it on camera phones and going, oh my god, get him out of and Eric Andre's screaming, like, ah, help me, help me. And it's just getting, it's a bit like that bit in the Revenant, you know what I mean? It's like a sexy, sexy version of that bit where DiCaprio gets attacked by the bear.

And then just when you think it's gone pretty far, there's just a long, long come shot. From this gorilla, that just goes on and on it goes everywhere. Anyway, that was the most extreme part. The rest of the film was really quite sweet and uplifting and very funny and so that was a great moment because we were all very skeptical. We just thought this is... It filled the gorilla spunk. This is not going to work out. Actually it was a hit that one and I think our son was quite pleased about that.

Since you were a 13-year-old watch it as well? Yeah, we all watched it. It was a family movie. Wow. And she liked it, everyone liked it. That was a massive hit that one. But then we've had other ones where they just all sort drift off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off one by one and it's usually me and my eldest son are the ones left, the only ones that watch the whole thing.

Oh that must be heartbreaking when they're slowly leaving. I'm going to have to check out this gorilla, um, cum shot. It sounds like a great, great movie review. She's a biscuit in a suit away from being at your school. It would be embarrassing if I actually re-watch the film and that isn't in it. I just sort of imagined that. I just wish that that had been in there. You just drifted off for five minutes. That's an interesting thing like, it's very difficult to watch things. Do you know what I mean? Like keep a track of everyone's watching box sets and they're watching two and evening and all that kind of stuff. And that period when you've got young kids,

it's like you're almost taken out of culture for five years, if you know what I mean. Yeah. But as someone who's so obsessed and their careers so based within it, did you find that difficult? Did that happen to you? Not really, because when our kids were little, it was all about DVDs. So I used to cycle off to this shop in the West End in London, and they sold import DVDs as well. So I would just pay ridiculous amounts of money to get all these American imports of movies that weren't out in the UK yet and I'd watch everything like that. We just watch everything on TV and then we do all the box sets and you know I was

mainlining culture that ended up being talked about as part of the mainstream anyway, like the Sopranos and The Wire and Lost and 24 and all that sort of stuff we were watching when the kids were little. So I didn't feel disconnected. How did you find the time? I just don't know where I got the time? Do you know what I mean? Every night, once we've got them to bed, it's eight, maybe. And then we'll eat, and then we're like, by half nine, we're like, done, we're out. This is it. Have you ever heard of tel-supper? Telly supper. Yeah, mate.

That's how we watched it. It was like we never sat down at the dinner table in those years. As soon as the children monitor was quiet, which it only was for about 20 minutes at a time before the green lights started flashing and it would be like, Oh, fucking owl. But as soon as they were in bed, it was like four episodes of 24 or something. We'd just be trying to, because I think me and my wife used to party hard before the children arrived. So we still had that mentality of like, come on, we've got to get our fun in before we both pass out.

Adam, thank you so much coming on. It's an absolute pleasure talk to you. We've got one of the final question for you, and it's the one thing that your wife does that annoys you, the too, th, th, they........, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. I's, th. I's, they. I's, th. I's, to bea, to bea, to bea, to me. I's, too, thi. I's, to me. I's, to me. I's, to me. I's, to me. I's, to me. I's, to me. I's, to me. I's, to me. I's, to me. We's, to me. We's, th. We's. And, th. And, the.. And, the. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And. I's. I's. Oh, they. I's. Oh, they. Oh, toe. Oh, toe. toe. toe.a.a. toe. toe. toe. toe. We's. toe. to really bring it out because it starts a row, is there anything that she does that gets to you Adam that if she listened back to this she'd go yeah he's got a point. Oh that's a tough one because she is a great mom. And I imagine after 19 years you've probably had all the rouse you can have about kids. There's not anything there. there thin any any any any any any any any any thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the thin thin thin the thin thin thin their thin. thin. the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to their their to their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I's. I's. I's toes. I's tou. I's toooooes. tooooooooooo. to. to. th. th. th. th. I's their their their th. I used to love cycling when I was young and I loved that sense of independence that it gave me and I want them to get into that as well and you

know we're out in the country but she's like no man the country's way too dangerous and I just was convinced that she was wrong about that and then I spent a day researching it and yeah it is more dangerous to cycle on little country lanes than yeah to be in town so that's been a the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. the. I thi thi the. I the. I to to to to to to thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I's thi. I's thi. thi. I thi. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the on little country lanes than to be in town so that's been a bone of contention. I love that you spent a day researching whether it's the most Adam Buxin thing I've ever heard. I didn't want this row to keep because it used to happen fairly regularly. It would be like she'd be like can you go and pick up the kids from tennis tenne and I'd be like thr- their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thin. Can thin. Can thin, can thin, can the, can the, can the, can the, can the, can the, can the, can the, can the, can th- th- th- th- th- th- the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th the, th th th th th the, th th the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thin, the an the an thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, just put them on a bike and they can cycle to flipping tennis and then they can cycle back and then we, you know, we don't have to do quite so many car journeys and keep the planet alive for a couple of years longer. What about that? And she'd be like, well, if you want to kill your kids, then yeah, great. So I thought, hmm, I'm going to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to do, I, to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the the to do to do the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toomorrow, toomorrow, toomorrow, toomorrow, toomorrow, thea., thea. thea. thea. thoomorrow, the the the out that she was right to be worried and so you know we

don't have that row anymore but even so I mean come on you can cycle anyway but what's the thing she does I mean she's too nice to them how about that really I just think she is too generous and nice she does this thing at Christmas of getting everyone stockings and this is like stockings in addition to presents on Christmas Day, right? And in the stockings are more presents than most people get for their main Christmas day, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I just think that is pure madness. But there's nothing I can do. There's no way that I can have the conversation without just seeming like the most horrible, gris-y old bastard in the world. But I just think like, no,

no, no, all these presents and you are wrapping every single one in wrapping paper and the waste. Oh, I can't bear it it anymore and the spoilingness. It's torture. But there's so many things that I do that are worse that I don't really have a leg to stand on. It's been a pleasure speaking to you Adam. Thanks so much for doing the podcast. I've loved it. Thanks to thanks thanks to you guys. Hey it's really nice about Instagram. Yeah thanks very much indeed. I hope it goes well. And I would like to point out just before we conclude that overall my experience of parenting has been very fortunate and continues to be wonderful and I don't know what

I would do without my children. I can't imagine life without them and yeah I feel very lucky. I think three of your worries that speaks to the amount you care for them and enjoy it. I don't think that comes that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thooooooooooo. tho th and yeah I feel very lucky. I think three of worries that speaks to the amount you care for them and enjoy it. I don't think that comes across as someone who's... Or are you just worrying that you think that you've slagged them off too much and they're going to listen about them and hate you? I mean there is that. God knows what kind of hang-o'-o'-Gods their their their their they their they they they they they they they they're kind they're kind they're kind they're kind they're kind they're kind th. God than. God than. God than. God. God thigh. God tho. God tho. God tho. God thi. God tho-a. God they tho-a. God tho-a. God tho-a. God tho. God tho. God tho. God thi. God thi. God thi. God thi. God th. God th. God th. God th. God th. God th. God th. God th. God th. God th. God th. God than than than than than than than than than than than. than. than. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. than. th. by and writing about in their memoirs. No as a rule everyone knows that we love our all love our kids dearly and it's an amazing experience. We've had a couple of guests who I'd question it but you're not one of them. Oh yes of absolute heartless thrackers but you're a good guy. Yeah thanks very much Adam. Adam Buxton I'm a big fan of of, does he call himself Buckles?

Yeah. Bless him, no, you can see him working his way down a worry well, can't you? Yeah. Like, if he just keeps talking. The worst thing was all of those things he said about having young children are what I think now. And I'm like, oh God, I'm watching my life unfold here. Do you know what I mean? He seems happy though. He is, yeah. It just shows how much you care, doesn't it? But yeah, but then you shouldn't care too much. No, I know.

I feel like as well, he doesn't realize how funny and how good he is of what he does. He's always so put himself down of like, you know, he's going, I was just tagged along with Joe and look. But he's hilarious. His podkasts are their is th. th. He's are th. He's are th. He's are th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's tho. He's tho. He's tho'. He's tho. He's thi. He's tho'. He's tho-I's tho-I's tho-hea'. He's tho-hea'. He's tho. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's tho. He's tho'. He's tho'er. He's tho'er. He's tho'er. He's tho'er. He's tho tho tho tho tho tho'er. He's tho'er. He's such a funny bloke and really lovely fellow as well. He's a kind of alternative national treasure isn't he? I've seen people with a quarter of his talent bowl around like they are the new Richard Pryor. But it's good to work with you Rob so. So I... I loved Adam Buxton. Thank you so much to him for doing it. Yeah. thanks to him Oh, it's incredible. He interviewed Paul McCartney.

Did he? Yeah. That'll be us one day. That'll be, oh man, what a booking. You absolutely not giving a shit. Me's sweating and shaking. Oh God, who's this auntie I'm talking to? Why does he keep saying cool?

Why does he keep saying cool he's 75 cool yeah yeah so like yeah just having kids it's like cool that's all American scouts I bet not slag him off too much in case we get him on yeah imagine saying that about a beetle just absolutely rinse him oh yeah you can't have former garden because he heard it and Rob was slagging him off oh god yeah he's a huge fan of the podcast to the point where he's listening to the adum box he he he the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I the the the th I the the tho. the tho. the the the the the the the to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is is is the is the is the is thoooooooo. the is. thooooooooo. the. thooooooooooo. the is. the is thoooooo. they. the th only listens to the outros, weirdly. He doesn't listen to interviews or the chat once. He likes them because they feel a bit more freewheeling, don't they? It feels like that's our actual selves

because we know we're about to clock off. Like the later Beatles stuff, and they can really just go crazy. Right, I'll see on Tuesday. Bye. Bye.