Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S04 EP9: A Phantom Blanking

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

S04 EP9: A Phantom Blanking More (mis) adventures in parenting and beyond from Rob and Josh...And yes you heard it right, we are very excited to announce we are doing two HUGE live shows in early 2023 - Manchester Arena (Friday 14th April) and London 02 (Friday 21st April) and tickets are now on general sale but going fast!! Enjoy. Rate and Review. ThanksxIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Nisprosso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nisproso.C.A. to learn more or a Nesproso boutique near you. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping.

And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Can you say Rob Beckett? Rugb Beckett. Rug, can you say Josh Widdickum? Can you say Parenting Hell?

Oh, very good. I think so. There you go. Lovely stuff. That was good, solid. I love the way they're adding new things. Yeah, the riffing, aren't they? It feels like the audience are pushing for new format points themselves. Yeah, and we're not responding in any way.

I'm happy. I'm happy for him to do that. to do that. I like the original approach. Why I look at it is like do what you want with it. Exactly. The floor's open. As long as you introduce the podcast, we've had a song, we've had extra bits there from, that is Sarah from Darby. Uh, no, Bristol.

Okay, that's tough. I've made it hard on my son. It's tough. Yeah. recording. My daughter Zoe's nearly four and has provided her interpretation of your names to enjoy. During rehearsals we took this very seriously. There is a rock becket as well. Thanks for making me laugh, myself silly and for comparing wandering, wandering, wandering, that was overtied parents thought patterns to bad jazz. Josh, I don't want to pull you up. You didn't say any words there that made a sentence. That was bad wasn't bad broadcasting. That was really bad broadcasting. I don't know. That was really poor. We're not broadcasting, surely. This doesn't come as broadcasting. We're recording. I'm sat in a hotel in Lincoln in

my pants. I'm not broadcasting. I was like, do I need to put my jeans on for this? I don't. I don't think I do. No, I do know what, pants are fine, but I do think when you say the words, if they could sound like a sentence. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thin, the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's, that's, that's, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th silly and for comparing wandering overtired parents thought patterns to bad jazz. Yes. Guess where we live Rob? No, no, not, not. No, not. that's the thrown. No, not. No, not. It's fine. I've had a bad night's sleep, Rob. I sleep so badly in Bristol. the the love from Natalie and Zoe Carter. the ta. Oh, thrific. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. that, th. th. th. th. th. that, that, thr. thr-s, thr-s, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tho. tha. tho. tho. tha. tho. tha. tho. tho. tha. tha. hotels. We know this. You don't sleep well in hotels. You took a pillow with you in a little briefcase. I got interviewed on Claudia Winklman's show on Saturday. I've got a new radio two on Sundays, five to seven. So thanks to everyone that listened. to everyone that listened. to the too the too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, to, I, I, the, the, I, I, I, to, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I... I.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm, I'm, the, the, to. And, to. And, to. And, to.... And, to...... And, to. to.. to. to. to. And, to. And, to. I've. I so no one listened. Yeah if you can please come back anyway Claudia Winkleman said oh

you're away because I was in the island man at the weekend oh you're away do you take anything with you because I know your little buddy which seemed a bit patronizing yeah it sounds like your penis yeah my little buddy I know your little buddy gets a little workout but Josh I know he takes a special pillow in a briefcase. Yeah. But not in a briefcase. Not in a briefcase. No, no. She said a briefcase, I think.

I know you have this sort of nerdy, stiff neck sort of unfair thing going on, but I don't think you put it in a briefcase, do you? So no, if I've got room in my suitcase. Yep. But obviously, I don't want to cram it into the suitcase because then it's just going to squash the pillow and the whole point of having the thick pillow. Yes, of course. It's gone. So if not, it comes in a kind of plastic bag with a handle. Yeah, so sort of like a carrier.

Yeah, like a carrier. But not a briefcase. of handing over documents to a Russian spy, not that kind of situation. No, yeah, okay, I just wanted to clear that up because she did broadcast that to quite a lot of people. Well, I had mentioned it on her show a few weeks previous. Yes, but the briefcase thing, I think it's unfair. Yeah, I think that is unfair, I've never properly been to Lincoln before? Why would I have been? And it is a lovely town. I've gigged here, but I've just turned up at night. Yeah. There's a very steep hill.

Have you seen the steep hill? Is it steep or does it look steep or does it look steep? Does it look steep? It's so flat, every the steep hill..... It's very pleasant. What is steep? Is that San Francisco if everything else changed? It is like San Francisco. It's lovely. If everything else changed apart from the incline, it's exactly like San Francisco. If San Francisco had a pizza express at the bottom of one of those hills, then it is exactly like San Francisco.

There we go, look. Steep hill in Lincoln wins Best Place. That is not an an award is it? That's too broad? 2011, by the Academy of Urbanism. Oh wow. What is that? Urbanism? What's that like grind music and stuff? That's what I thought. That's where Romish went to get cool after being a math teacher. Now he's on, now he's got a hip-hop show. Yeah, I've got my doctor at the Academy of Urbanism. I can wear backwards caps and joggers to work. Anyway yeah steep hill that's a nice actually steep hill. So yes I've been on tour for a couple of

days I had some hotel problems Rob. Okay what the hotel problems? Because obviously a lot of people think when you sleep in a hotel this is your chance to have a lion and stuff yeah. Yeah stupidly on Saturday and crew I got drunk oh Josh yeah I'm not really drinking the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. the th. I's. I's. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. S. S. th. S. S. S. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I'm th. So. So. So. Yeah. So. Yeah. I'm t. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. t. t. t. t. th. So. So. So. I'm th. I'm th, I'm not really drinking at the moment, but I just thought, why not? Why not? Treat yourself, you're in crew, it's Saturday night. Was it at the Crew Hall? It was at Crew Hall? Big spooky ghost hotel? Yeah. It was a very nice hotel, in the bar. That's bad. Come on now. What about room service drinks?

They said you can have one round of room service drinks. Oh, leave it out! So we had to do that thing. You're in crew. You've got to get through it somehow. I'm in the middle of know. The d'oe manager, Nick. The dibble aren't going to turn up and check. on a Saturday night. Loosen up. Come on. So me and Maisie who's supporting me? And my tour manager Nick.

She's doing 20 minutes before you. She's not an emotional support. Well, but actually, the money's for both jobs. But, um. Okay. More important is the after gig care. You could do an hour and half on your own, that's just too bleak. One round can I have a glass of wine just for me? We had just basically we had a couple of drinks after the gig in the dressing room so we were like, let's have a few

drinks but we then had to make the decision how many more drinks we wanted that night straight away. So what did you order? Between us we ordered six Star of Pramans for three of us and bottle of wine. I think you've done well there. Yeah. It's a bit of a sex hotel that hotel. Well, didn't play out that way. Sorry. No, maybe not for you. But there's a lot of couples going there because I've got a little spa but I don't know if I told you this story. I was there with my tour manager a couple of years ago. One thing thin' th led th led th led th led th led th led th led th th thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi' thin' thin' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi. thi. It's a thi. It's a tho' tho' tho' tho' th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. It's th. th. It's th. It's th. It's thi thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's a thi thi thin' thi thi thi theeeeea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thi' thakes you over sometimes, Rob, doesn't it? And then the next morning we went swimming, to the swimming point, then went to like the steam room and the spa, and he went, oh mate, it was so weird last night.

It's Tom Elliot, it was so weird, it was, what, it was so weird. What, he went, I went, I was so weird, what, he went, I was sorry my thrown, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, about, and, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the are you talking he went honestly I was so confused I thought I was like having some sort of cheese dream and she was like absolutely stunning and I was like oh my god is this like one of those things you like the fantasies you hear about she was just stood in the hallway knocking at the door like to the door the. She was like the whole they longer to the door like like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was like like like like like no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they was I was like like like like like they sexy lingerie Look at the door and just said sort of hello And he was like what and then she run off Okay, he's like oh my god what's going on? He goes back in his room gets another knock at the door He's like here we go, but does he say anything to her? No, no, he's just sort of in shock. He's in his pants at the door. He just closes his she's run off down the corridor into another room right and you know what's like in that I hope it's an old building so she knocked yes if she knocked

and she stood at the door basically naked apart from this little laundry stuff and runs off and because it's like an old building you can disappear quick it's not like big long premiering corridor yeah yeah anyway so what is going on to bed the to the the to go go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to go go go go go go go go go go go go. to go. to go. to go. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. they. they. the the the they. I I is. th bed. Five minutes out, knock at the door, I'm on here. This is amazing. He's a young single guy and there's a hot girl knocking on his door, opens the door, six foot free, massive giza. What? What? What? What? Massive rugby geeseer, right? In linger? In his pants? In his pants? In his pants. And he's like, what? And the steam room we've been going, this is mentor, it goes, honestly, when she was this beautiful girl, but probably about 5'5'5 blonde hair, blue eyes, he was this really big guy, a big tattoo on his chest, and a shaved head, and I was like,

I was like, I think you're making this up, this is mental, and then, and then nothing else the rest of the steam room, they walk in. No! On my life. Blonde girl, about five-five massive geese who have shaved their tack on his chest. And we just start pissing ourselves. They go bright red and leave. Well, that's a steam room for you, Rob. Yeah, they just don't like the heat. They've been up late running around.

So what's the person's door? Yeah, knock on someone's door and then run off. Like some sort of sex-based knock down ginger. Yeah, oh wow. That's, well it wasn't like that. I just had six-star apartments, between three people, just to be clear. And then I fell asleep. Yeah, nothing like that, no, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, that, nothing, that, nothing, that, nothing, that, that, that, no, that, no, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's th. thi. that's thi. th thi. You just stood outside the door knocking, no and answered in your pants, just waiting. But yeah, that's my crew hall story.

That is incredible, isn't it? But how are you there now then or you're in another hotel? I mean, a different hotel? I mean, a different, I've got my own issues with this hotel. Okay, what's your a.m. so you're not getting much of a lion to do this podcast. So we're recording an interview after this, Rob. Yeah. I'm not going to name the hotel. I'm not going to name and shame. Yeah. I'm recording an interview after this. They won't let me stay in my room beyond 11. So they're no late... So I've had to rent a meeting room in the hotel to do to do to do to do to do the the the the hotel. So I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the hotel. So. So I the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I'm. So, I'm. the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. So, I. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm. So, I'm that we're recording. So they won't give you a little bit longer like an extra can't you pay for a late checkout? No I've

got to pay for this meeting room. So there's no how busy? No they don't do late checkout. How busy are they on a Monday in Lincoln? What hotel is it name and shame? I'm not going to I'm not going to. I've already tell everyone that crew halls a sex place. Your story is, if anything is going to boost crew halls. Randy perverts. I'm now regretting that we didn't stay for the full three nights at crew hall. Oh that's annoying that. Oh, I'm sorry about that Josh. Are you in the meeting room now? No. I'm going to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to go to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in to go in to go in to go in to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go in to go in to go in to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between to go in between the the to go in between. the to to to to to to the to to to the to to the the to to the the the on for the next bit. That is brutal, Josh. Gets me out of parenting, though. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum.

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What's been going on since last week? Because obviously you've not been away all week. Do you know what, Rob? Now I'm going to have to talk this in a kind of code. Because people at the nursery do listen the nursery. Right, okay, yeah. There's a set of parents I'm not a fan of. Yes, please. Yeah. Give it to me. Keep talking. This is the good stuff.

This is my sambookauka. I'm not, I can't tell you why I'm not a fan of them. But if you're listening, it's not you. Okay, well done. Yeah. What you're blank them. Blank someone. That's what I'm gonna do. Sorted them up? They deserve a blanking. They deserve a blanking? They blanked them. They deserve. They deserve a blanking. They've got a blanking them.

Well, no, but they've got a blanking in their. I'm blanking the the they. I. I. I've they. I've they. I've they. I've they. I've they. I've they. I've they. I've they. I've they. I've not. I've they. I've not. They're they. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're they're they're they're they're trucked. They're toed. They're tocked. They're to'. They're to' to'a. They're to'lancked. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're theythinking they need to try and talk to me because I'm blanking away and they've got no idea that I'm blanking them here. But it's like if a tree falls in the wood does it make a noise? If no one saw the blank how have they been blanked? Exactly. These guys don't know I'm blanking them. This is unbelievable. Because also I know what you're like you're not good people, Rob. They're not good people. You would have revved yourself up for this blanking all morning and you're there blanking full Pell and not getting the feedback. You must be frustrated. No, I was thinking, can I say this?

Because a person might know I'm talking about them. But they don't know I'm you've blanked them. Because I was going to say, well, they'll know who it is that you're not a fan of. Yeah, no. Now this is going to start some sort of Cludo situation at the school gates, where everyone that listens to this from your nursery is trying to work out who you try to blank. Yeah, well, the thing is Rob. I like everyone. So I accept the people. Except that people. Except that people. Except that people. Except that people. Except that people. Except that people. Except that people. Except that people. Except the people. I that people. Except that people. I that people. I the people. I that people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people people people people. I the people. I the people the people. I the people. the people. the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I the people. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.this and... This is great. How many kids go to this school? 80 or something. 80? 80? Is that a lot? Yeah, I'd say for a preschool, 80 kids. Four classes? Oh, okay, fair enough. Yeah, because the nursery that my kids go to a bit small and that's just one class. Yeah. I thought you're really sticking your neck out in line here. Big class. Big class sizes in East London Rob. 80 kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids in a class. 80 kids in a class.

You know, you know. One teacher having a fucking nightmare. Nine teaching assistants. Take a kid each, please. Oh, that's exciting. So what are you going to do? Try and blank them next time or just leave it now. Well, I don't know.

No, I've said this, Rob. I don't know whether I you did blank them. Whether they saw it or not, you've been blanking. Yeah, I made my point. I think we all know I made my point. I gave them a good old blanking. Yeah, you basically didn't talk to someone and they were oblivious to it and that point has been made. And that point. They're really, they're really, I betthey. I. they. they. they've all. they've all. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they all. th. thr. th. thr. tho. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. tho. tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've all. I've all. I've all. I've all. I've all. I've all. I've. I've. I've. th. I've. th. I've. ta. to. I've. to. I've. to. to. to. to. todd. to. todd. toda. to. toda. thed. thed. I've. I've. try to blank over them and they didn't even see me. Do you know I didn't tell her Rob? This will be the first she hears about it. Okay. Little does she know she's the parent that I'm trying to blank. So that was an exciting bit of parenting. Yeah. Oh yeah, a couple of big parenting moments. Yeah. The baby. He's crawling. How's that going. How's that going. Well, I made Rose get a new table for one of the lights because I thought one of them was too perilous. Yeah, you've got a lot of glass stuff haven't you, like glass tables? I've just realized how much stuff we've got on the floor of. And I don't mean knickknacks.

I just mean, do you remember before having kids? When you wouldn't just have things on your kitchen floor just sitting there, like a bowl in the kitchen floor?the kitchen floor or like... Why have you got that? Because like my daughter will have eaten something, you know, she'll have eaten toast on the kitchen floor and then it's on... You know, some wipes sat in the middle of the kitchen floor and you're like... Do you know what? You've got a very tidy house, it's very cool and pretty. I can't believe that you've managed to keep like, their, their, their, their, the, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, and, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, and, toe, toe, and, too, toe, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, toe, and, and, and, toe, toe, and, toe, toe, toe, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, they...... they. toe, toe, toe.a.a, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, toe. And be taken over. If you walk to my house, you may think it was a nursery. Well, do you know what, Rob, there's different areas where the children have taken over our lives. So your house is physically your children's, but you still own the television. Yes. Whereas my house is physically mine, but I have no rights over the television. This week, my daughter's friend, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their thea.a. Wea, their, their, the the television. This week my daughter's friend, she basically said to her parents,

that my daughter had told her that I try and watch football and then she makes me watch Bluie. And that's true. She knows she's playing me Rob. Yeah, so she knows what she's doing Rob. She knows what she's doing Rob. She knows I want to watch football. She knows what she's doing Rob. She knows. that I. She's what. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. My. My thea. My todeeeea. My try. My try. thooooooooooooooethe power to stop me watching the football. About how, okay, let's play this out, okay, you've got the football on, I go, Dad, can I watch Bluie? Yes. Yeah, so that's your first problem. I mean, it wasn't a shock, let me say that, I've known you a long time. I've known you a long time. I just say, no, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, to, th. to, to, th. th. to, th. to, to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. to, th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the the the to, to, the the to, the to, the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the to, to, to, the, to, to, shock. Let me say that. I've known you a long time.

I just say no, Daddy's watching the football now. It's daddy's tea's tea. Yeah, I don't know other the horses bolted on this, Rob. It's year for. It's year four. Get her a telly for a room. Oh, maybe I'll get her a tell tell a room for a room. Or a little one in to to the to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that-a. that. th- tho. tho. tho. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the tho. It's tho. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the tod. tod toda. toda. toda. the toda. the the the the the the the the the the the Tottenman City game? Did I see the Tottenman City game? Had a bit of a nightmare with that because I was in the dressing room in crew and the internet was quite slow. So you know when you texted me this Tottenham Man City game is brilliant? Yep. I thought there's a goal. There's just been a goal. Because I was a minute behind. Oh sorry. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the their. their their their their their their their their their's. There's. There's their's their's just. There's just. There's just. There's just. There's just. There's just. There's just. There's just. There's just. There's just. There's just. There's just the dressing's just the dressing's just the the the the the dressing's just the the the dressing's just the the the the the dressing's just. I's just. I's just. I's the the the the the the dressing. I's the the the the the the the the dressing. I's the the the the the the the the the th. I's just. I's just. I's just. the the th. tr. the the tr. the the dressing. the the dressing. the the the exciting because you're like Oh does it? Yeah because you're like there's a goal coming up As long as the team I want to score still got the ball then this is a positive Who did you want to win Tottenham? Yeah, it makes a title race more exciting than it even though I'd rather them lose? Oh, I want to put in league. But I watched match match match football. I the the the their their their game. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm their their their their their their football. I'm their their their their their their game. I'm their game. I'm their game. I'm their game. I'll their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their game. I'm tool. I'm tool. tool. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm the Day 2 last night, Rob, before I failed to go to sleep till 2 a.m. in a hotel room. Oh yeah, but also you can watch that because your daughter's in bed. You can't come downstairs, bleary-eyed at 11 going, Dad, I want to watch Bluie now in

this sort of campaign of hate towards you enjoying yourself. I think that's what it is. It's a campaign of hate against you lobbied by a Chinese 5G firm. Do you know what though, Rob, and I'll finish, because I wrote down my notes of what I've done this week. Yeah, mainly it's being hotels. Yeah, but like, it is weird. You think crawling's going to be this big thing. I'll have loads to sound crawling.

Yeah, I've got more to say on the blanking or the TV thing. Do you know what I mean? These big things that you expect to be, you're big talking points. It's the little things. That's the thing, like you think that's a big, and it is, like, especially when it's your first, like, oh my god, they're crawling. But actually it's like, oh, to watch football, I say I want to watch Bluie. That is, she's like ultimately just, is what is driving that because it's not like you don't see her and give a lots of attention. It's a power game. It's all power. Like I say, you wake up in the morning and you decide, are you there prison bitch or not. And Josh, you're the prison bitch. If you're the prison bitch, and you need to to stick to stick to stick to stick. If to stick, if to stick, if to stick, if to stick, if to stick, if to stick, to stick, to stick, to stick, to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to see their, to see th. If you're to see their to see, to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. It's to see th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thr. thrown, the thrown, the the thrown, throooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's the, the, the, th big boy that you're going to watch the football and he's not going to make you watch Bluie. Yeah, well that would be a weird prison scenario that isn't it? I know I think that's more scary isn't it?

If you're just with some massive geyser in a prison cell and he's just watched Bluey all day I'd be petrified. Yeah, that is intimidating. You just trying to. That is. That is. That is. That is. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's just that's just that's just is. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. I's. that's. that's. I's. that's. that's. that's. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. that's more. I's more. big guy in the green mile. Good at heart. He was just trying to help them. Oh God. But crawling, it's tiring though, crawling. That's the thing that don't stop, because you can't just plot from them. Yeah, but do you know what? It's tiring that you have to keep re-lining him into areas that he's not going to be held. It's the beginning of the end of the baby time. Yeah, and it is tiring

that you have to keep realigning him into areas that he's not going to kill himself. But on the other side... That's quite a tyrann thing that is... It's quite a tiring thing. But on the other side I'm not no longer just carrying him around the kitchen. What becomes normal and yeah, no, it's th th th thi thi thi the that, it's thi, it's the that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's that's you know, obviously, whenever he's awake, I have to be behind him making sure he doesn't kill himself, yeah. But apart from that, it's great. The constant fear of him crawling down the stairs and falling down him or pulling something on his head, but apart from that, it's absolutely fine. He doesn't understand the word stop or no and they can talk, mate, then they just kick off. What about me is all I hear at the moment. When I say one thing to the other one, what about me? Oh, that's a nice drawing.

What about me? Oh, the hair looks nice. What about me? Oh, mate. It's carnage. So I'm at the sort of arguing stage which is like, physically, it's not as tiring now, nowhere near. Obviously, you get up, sometimes you get a bit of broken sleep, but not comparable at all, the actual tired.

But it's the emotional, just like the bickering. It's just carnage. The what about me? It's brutal. Is it? Yeah. And also I had a stress so morning. terribly ill this morning Josh. Did you? Because I went to the toilet and oh no. I forgot that yesterday I had a pint of this beetroot smoothie juice thing. Why did you do that Rob?

I'm trying to be healthy and all that happens is oh God. It does nothing apart from in the morning. It's an absolute war zone down there. Yeah of course. And then you spend 15 minutes thinking okay I'm dying. to thi. the their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's. thi's. thi's thi's thi's thi's thirty. th. thirty. I's thi. theateatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. I'm just just. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's. th. I's. I's. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tote. tode. tote. tote. tote. toda. toda. toda. toda. today. today., who do I tell first? And then you remember, you've had loads of beetroot. So I just think any physical benefits of having beetroot, unless you write it down and remind yourself that you've had beetroot, it isn't worth the emotional toy of art thinking, why is it so red all morning? Oh, God, I'm a bit. Oh, poor bloke. I know, Mother Bid.

Did you make your own Beatruth smoothie? How has this happened? No, I panicked. I was, I don't know, I had a nightmare day. I'll talk about the kids in a second, but I had to do the Isleman. We've got the same agent who books these tours. He is really pulling out some places in this run for of us isn't it? Shelton to Lower Stoft Island, Island Man as well when I booked the gig before COVID there was loads of flights. Jesus Christ watching those planes on the day before you're flying. Yeah! Fucking out! I flew

the day after storm at Unice and basically because I went to the the the the winter schedule there there there's only. Got to the airport, flew there and then I was in a hotel room all day, did the gig. And then the only flight back to London is at 8 p.m. on the Sunday. So I had to fly at 9.m. to Manchester. Get a cab from Manchester airport to Wimslow train station. Then I had to get a train to Central London because I was doing my radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. the radio. to to the radio. to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to 8. to to to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to 8. to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the th.m. the th.m.m.m. the the the the the today.m. the the the th. the only only only only only only only only only th arrived to my radio show at 1 p.m. 4 hours before it started. Oh my God. The keynote on his first day. Hello guys, here I am. Elaine Page, what's happening? Johnny Walker.

Yeah, I'm here for all the shi'a'e'e'e'e'e, I'm here for all the about it for four hours. That's not the worst thing you can do. Imagine that first ever job, just sitting in the reception for four hours, but you had nowhere else to go. They let you in, didn't they, Rob? Oh, they let me in. I won't in the street with all the autograph people. You're like David Bremen when he goes back to to do. Anyway, back now with the kids. And Lou's going away, because I've been away quite a lot and I've gone away. So Lou's going away for like two nights, three full days. So I dropped the kids off. Where's she got a hala man? No, she's not. She's going

to a little spa weekend with her mate. Oh lovely. But this is our busy. Before 9 a minute, we started recording. to the to sk. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be to be th. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. Loo. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. L. L. up with the kids, we've got on ready, breakfast, clean the tea, whatever, got on ready for school, did the school drop off, and then had to go and get petrol for the car so she could drive up because, you know, we're a very modern household, but Lou does refuse to put petrol in the car. Fundamentally, we'll not do it. That's just what it is, you know, there. that seem to have just been applied to one partner. There's that sort of pink and blue jobs. I don't want to be stereotyped. No, yeah, so it's not them, but it's like... It's just that coincidence that Lou is female and she doesn't want to put petrol in a car.

You know, some women love it. Some women love petrol. Yeah. I've always Until that runs out of electric because I've got electric. Oh yeah. But anyway I had to go and do that which is fine and then did all that. I had to move the charity shop close out of that car to put in another car. Anyway so I've done all this here at nine that done and I've got to walk the dog get on my work done and get them at three. There's not a lot of time between nine and three.

It does go quick. Three is very early isn't it because obviously, their try and two is basically lunchtime. At half two on. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the old. I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing the old the old pick the old pick up I'm doing the old pick up I'm doing the old pick up I'm doing the old pick up I'm doing the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old. I the old. I the old. I the the the the the the the the the the the the to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm doing. I'm doing to. I'm doing to. I'm doing to to. I'm doing to to tip. I'm doing to th. I'm doing th. I'm doing th. I'm doing the the th going to have to kind of think about going right and half twos of basically lunchtime. At half two on Tuesday there's a they do a radio to present a zoom what all the presenters on radio to go to zoom and a catch up no on my life yeah so you have to attend that every week I think it's once a month once I've got a log in I'm gonna say hello I've got a lot of a other people doing the school run. Cox, he must be doing the school run, Rob. I don't know. Oh, she's actually on air at that point probably, isn't she? I'll report back. Absolute nightmare for the person who's on air.

Steve Wright trying to zoom in while he's on air. Steve Wright try to zoom in while he's on air. Come on, guys, one second. reading out every single one of someone's tour dates. To what's really funny though, Lou has been rinsing me about this. Lisa Tarbuck rang me because she's so lovely isn't she. I met her once on hypothetical your show and she's on radio too and she rung me so and hey Robbock, how's it going? Congratulations on the show blah blah blah and was like giving me some nice and stuff. And it's like, oh thank you so to to the the the the the the tah. I I I I I tah. I tah. I tap. I tap. I tap. tap. tap. tah. tah. tah. tah. tha. tah. tah. tah. tah. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. tah. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. I. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. I. She. Lisa. I. Lisa. I. I. Lisa. Lisa. I. I. Lisa. I. I. I. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. L. I'm. I'm. L. I'm. L. I'm. I'm. L. I'm. L. I'm. Liza. I'm. I'm. Liza. I'm. Liza. I'm. Liza. I'm. I was like, oh thanks Lisa Chetting, like that well, and she was being really nice and then, I was like, oh, thanks so much, see laia, bye, I don't know, bye, I don't, I don't, I'm in love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love,

of a love, you. You said, you said I love you, but you said, I'm a love, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, uh, I, th, th, th, tha, tha, tha, tha, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, you say to a male I love you but I don't know well enough for that and then they just went who the fuck was that oh my god because it sounded like a work like a bit of a work court at the start and I was like it was Lisa Tarbuck she went you told Lisa Tarbuck you love her that's incredible you didn't phone back to clarify did you just left it no that would have been that that that that that that that that that that that that the the to the to to the to the to to the to they. they. they. they. that that they. that that to to that that that that that that that the the the they. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the I just left it. Yeah, she's probably told Jimmy Tarbuck about that by now. He's having a laugh. You're panic. Oh, don't, no, don't make it worse to me, Josh. Are you the youngest presenter on radio too, now Rob? Yeah, I think I'm younger than Ryland. I don't know if, yeah, you're younger than Ryland. Am I. He's quite ageless. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, Come on, Ryland. Fuck off, Ryland. Bullshit, 33. He definitely lied going on X Factor. There's no way he's 33.

He lied going on X Factor to make it into a different one of those groups. And now he's stuck with it for the rest of his life. Russell Kane did that, didn't he? He lied about his age. He was about about about about about 28 when he was in and he clarified that eventually didn't they? Yeah, I tell you what Rob, I'm on taught. So Macy Adam, who I'm sure a lot of people are aware of.

She is young, Rob. She doesn't remember the death of Princess Diana. Really? Yeah. That's a weird starting point, isn't it, working out how young someone is. Well, that wasn't the beginning of the conversation. It's a historical event to her. What, like, the Battle of Hastings? Yeah, the Battle of Hastings, do you, which I know you're really into the Battle of Hastings. 1066, mate, oh, God, I just like Hastings,

to be honest. Oh, Josh, I've got something I want to talk about. grudge for like maybe not a person but for a place so we moved into our house about six years ago and it really made me laugh I walk past there's a local chip shop and it does like Chinese as well and once years ago went in there and the person was really rude to me yeah and I went you know what I'm in a. Yeah I went to the person to leave it and I'll just walk to you yeah I remember and I was like that's actually insane. Like, the person there might have been having a bad date and they've literally not managed it for four years. But I'm still holding that grudge. If anyone's got,

the longest grudge. Yeah. if it's a favorite show on it. Is that you Rob? No way. No way. No I'm watching that. No, no, but one of my dad's friend got like made redundant from BT about about 28 years ago and refuses to watch football on BT's mom. No. Yeah. Yeah. Just like, fuck. Oh, and also Josh, I've got some more things that I don't know if you know about. Oh yeah, go, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me. Uncut Jams?

What? Julia Fox, an interview and she says, Uncut Jams. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Do you know this one? I did see that? Have you seen that? I saw that on Instagrams. Yes. I didn't know who she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the the the the tha. the tha. tha. the the tha. the tha oh, I know, I just say Franz Biers and Uncajams. Yes, I did know that. Well done, Josh, you're getting bitter. I saw that on Instagram the other day.

If anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about, this is, it's really weird the way she says it, isn't it? It is really good that. I mean. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was Josh. I was Josh. I was Josh. I was Josh. I was Josh. I was Josh. I was Josh. I was Josh. I was Josh. I was Josh. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. thi. to th. I th. I th. that jams. Things like that. Oh, that's a good one, then you know that one. Yeah. Oh God, you're on fire. As I said, Rob, I'm on tour with a young person at the moment. I'm absolutely down with it.

Wow. I think what we should call this feature is I know something you don't? Yes. Do you know that on that on that on that on that on that on that on that on that on that on that on that on that on tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tick on tick on tick on tick on tick tick tick tick tip- tip- tip- tip- thek. thea thea thea thea thea thea thea the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tip-tip-tip-tip-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. look, there's his song so we can use this I think. I know something you don't. I know something you will never know. There we'll use that. That can be the start of the feature for a jingle. I mean, I don't know what that is, Rob. That's the thing. That's become a thing. TikTok for something so it'll be like an empty box of chocolates and their boyfriends coming home to have some chocolates and they'll play that in the background as they open the chocolates and it's gone for example.

Can I ask your question Rob? Yeah, go on. Am I the 4,000? Am I to'n' to be 4, tho'n'n? tho' theyrown. next to Shannon Tate and think, am I ugly? No you're not, you're just not as good looking as him. How was Graham Norton? Oh yeah, it was good. No one accused me of being a pedophile. Oh yeah, what a win? Well she was weird actually because I was, I was one. So that was a get out of jail, free card for old Bobby B. That was good. That was good. Andrew Strickland. No, it was really good actually, it was nice. Natalie and Brulier, Rob. Yeah, she looks younger than she did. I know, I follow her on Instagram,

which I think is probably weird. Yeah, because I don't think you're there for the music, are you Josh? I think torn, website to kill time before he starts work? Just researching to make everyone happy. Oh Josh this is what we're doing as well. We're doing a pocket money. The kids want pocket money. We've started pocket money.

So far we've got a playroom, we've got their bedroom, they're getting pocket money to tidy the week. to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. So. So. their, their, their, to their, their, so, so, so, so, so, sooe, sooome, soo, soo, so their, so their, so their, soo, soo, so their, so their, so their, somea, somea, somea, somea, somea, some, some, so, some, some, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so, so, so, so, so....... So, so, so, so, so, so, so, and, and, and, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their,rooms and bedrooms once a week. It's like on a Sunday before the week starts on a Monday. I want to get an idea of how much they should be being paid for each room. I don't want to overpay or underpay. So, and also a list of other jobs that you could potentially get a four-year-old and a you can get your kids to do and what's acceptable and the price list please send it in and we can work it out. My grand used to give me pocket money and I used to get 10 P for each year so if I was seven I was getting 70 P and then when I was eight I went up to 80 P. What a week? A week plus all the coppers. So but are you doing it a job or is that just? No, I was just getting that free. So that's the thing, are they on a base salary, like two quid a week, then you add to? But then if they do have pocket money,

do you still just buy them a toy at a weekend if you go, let's go into the toy shop, or do they have it in the money box. She's fucking cleaning up, Rob. See, this is the issue. But she doesn't realize that a pound coin is actually way above what she should have. Because she doesn't understand the denominations at the moment. And she likes the big ones, like the two Ps, but she doesn't get it. Yeah, exactly.

So basically, what Lou's found is all their money you can say for their birthday you can tell people to transfer it to that account or if they give it to you in cash you just have that for takeaways and petrol and then you can transfer it into their card and then you can have a current account and a savings account and they've got 40 quid from their birthday you can say if they're going out to their granddad to you to go you to go you you you you you you you you you you you to go right you to go right you you to go you to go you to go you to go you to go you to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their th. th. You can the. You can the. the. You can the. You can go the. You can the. You can the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th. th th. th. th th the. You just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the. You just the. You can just just the the the the thei you just just just thei you just just you just thei you just the the the the the friend, you know, and their parents in the gift shop of a museum, but the £30 still in your saving. So you've got £10 to spend, and then they can literally tap it like a car. Oh, wow Rob, what a world we live in. the world we live in. Loveh in. We should get Martin Lewis on. We should get Martin Lewis on to talk to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. tho. tho. thoom. tho. the. thoomoom. thoom. thoomomomomoom. So, thoomoome. So, thoom. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. tho. So, tho. So, tho. So, tho. So, tho. tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, the. So, the. So, th'd be good. I'd like to talk about my own finances as well. Please help me out. Let's get Martin Lewis on.

That'll be good. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. The thing is he's got so much power, Martin Lewis. If he's just told me what you need to do, guys, is just give me all your money. I go, toke, to their their their to with him. Anyway, sorry, anyone's got a list of what we can pay and pocket money-wise. Oh yeah, we should say, and also, isn't it hilarious that the live show went on sale when

the O2 was being ripped to shit? The first day our O2 tickets go on sale and the literal main news story on the Guardian is a picture of the O2 being torn to threads. And also Phil Foden's mum got assaulted at the Manchester Arena were a curse. Yeah, what is wrong? The two venues we're doing. You do not want us to book a show in your local venue because something awful will happen there. But just to clarify as well, it is a year and two months, not two months time. Yes. Do we serve Instagram messages, Josh? Yeah, you go for Instagram messages. Here we go.

Parenting Fail. Hi Rob and Josh, I love the podcast. I'm fairly sure. Anyone I live near thinks I'm crazy laughing whilst walking the dog. I had to write in with my parenting foul. When my eldest son was three, my husband was on tour with the army. I'm not heard of long as they don't do an encore, I don't mind the army. They're about to Ukraine, aren't they?

I mean we'll have to laugh about that! I mean you are! Yeah, it's fine. It's topical humor. Rob, I think that's satire. Oh God, I think we've lost our edges. On what the week would have been fucking firing them out. Binked, we them their their their their their their their their th, we th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll thin. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll to. We'll th. We'll to to th. We'll 'd get into bed with me in the morning, oh the son, not the husband. That's weird, isn't it? Nip home for a cuddle. I was heavily pregnant with our second child and tired. For a few mornings, his breath smelled funny, but I couldn't place it. On the fourth morning I got up, I went up, I went to the toilet, I went to to to to to to to to to to to to the toilet, I the toilet, I the toilet, I went the toilet, I went to the toilet, I went the toilet, I went the toilet, I went the toilet, I went the toilet, I was the toilet, I was the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to sayuua, was to sayu. tapeanan, was toom-hu-hu-hu-hu-hoom-hu-hu-hoom-hau-hau-hau-hau-haukneaukneau. I was tiphau. I it. Oh God, oh God, fucking how. I told this story at a first aid course I was on. Horrified, the instructor said, God, what did the hospital do? Oh no. Then I had to admit, I didn't even occur to me to ring the doctor let alone go to A&E. Oh my God. Obviously he didn't do him any harm. He is now 12 foot, Vickie. That might that might that might that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the th. th the th th the th the th th the the the th th the the the th th the th th the th the the the the the the the instruction the instruction tho their their their their the instruction their their their their their their their their their the instruction. their the instruction. the instruction. He said. He said the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toge. toy. toy toy toy toy toy toy. toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy the. th. th. th. Does she mean just one of them or? Toilet duck, fucking feet like a duck? Does him inside 12 feet? Yeah, and he's got loads of feathers and a fucking beak on it. Yeah, I would suggest if that happens, take your kid to the doctor. I mean that is bad, that.

I don't want to judge but I have. That's bad, Vicky. Oh my word. Do another one. th. Yeah, hi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that th. that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. that that that th. that that that that that th. that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. theeeea. to. to to to to toeeeeeea. to. toeeea. toeeea. thoooooooooooo. the. Oh my word. Do you want another one? Yeah, go on. Here we go. Hi, Robin, Josh. So I don't need to say that, do I? I think I think it adds an air of familiarity. Fair enough. So glad I discovered your podcast whilst working from home. There's not much that makes me laughter in my working day, so I really do look forward to my time with you both. You are talking about night terrors to the night night night night night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. the night. toders. toders. the night. the night. the night. toda. toda. today. today. thau. thau. thau. today. I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I to to to to to to to to to their, I to to to to to the air. I to the air. I the air. I tod. I tod. I tod. I tode. I thae. I thae. I, I, I's thae. I'm thae. I'm today, I'm today, I'm today, I'm today, today, today, today, today, tha. I'm today, today, today, today, terrors and has no memory of them at all if that helps. However, you think night terrors are scary for a parent. How about when you go into your then three-year-olds bedroom to check on them and they sit up right in the dark and start having a conversation with someone sat next to them when there is no one else in the room. Oh God. But you and them and they are totally oblivious to you. Oh God. And they just sat there having a chat. Creepy shit. Oh God.

Take care, Michelle from all, mom to a 17 and 20-year-old. We had a period where my daughter was like claiming that there was a woman in the bathroom, and it's fucking terrifying. Oh, that's horrible. I still get scared when I see the dressing the dressing the dressing the dressing the dressing the dressing to to to to the dressing to to the dressing to the dressing the dressing to the dressing. This hotel room last night was, this is one of the reasons I didn't sleep Rob. The hotel was just creaking all night. All the different things were creaking. Really? Yeah. Is it an old one? If this hotel has been done up since 1984 then I will be very surprised.

Get out. Get out. Get out. fuck off, get out. Right, do you want to have one? Yep. Boomer parenting, always my favorite topic. Always the best, aren't I? Hi guys, I'm not a parent, but I absolutely love the podcast. I was born in 1989, so not sure if it counts as boomer parenting, but it was still absolutely mental. And I think that counts as boomer parenting, doesn't it? Yeah. One Christmas when I was either four or five I came downstairs to an enormous elaborately wrapped up box with my name on. Naturally I ripped into it and found out there were boxes within boxes. Anyway I got to the last box

which when I opened it found a note inside which simply said oh my god if you want nice presents be better behave next year. Fuck off! That is unbelievable. At 32 I'm still not over it. My parents still stand by it. Annie, Annie! You can't leave the story there. They gave you no presents at all! That is incredible.

Two questions, Annie, did you get any other presents? Second one, what did you do that year? Because that is unacceptable. We don't know any other presence at all that year for you. But with parening, I'm 24, my mom wouldn't let me have a mobile phone at the age of 11 to walk to school while all my friends had flip motor-rollers. Yep. Instead, she made me take a walkie-talkie to school and while all my friends called their parents to say their life safely, I had to radio in home over the crackly airways had a, Jesus, schools hard enough. Imagine being in a walkie-talkie-wancaer. Oh my god. A walkie-talkie-talkie-wancares in.

Jesus Christ. That is incredible. Absolutely incredible. What was the feature called, the one which you're naming after a... I know something you don't. I know something you will never know. We should get people to send things in for you as well Rob after you didn't know who Monty Don was. Yes. Things to me, sending yet new people things. And things to Rob. Yeah, stiff neck stuff. I mean yeah there's a lot that. I'm learning a lot. I'm learning a lot. the the. I there there there there there there there there there there there there there there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I's stuff. I's stuff. I's stuff. I's stuff. I's stuff. I's stuff. I'm there's stuff. I'm there's stuff. I'm there's stuff. I'm there's stuff. I'm learning there's stuff. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm theee. I'm theeeeeee. I'm th. I'm theee. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th.'ve not heard of. Yeah, Adele, stuff like that. Lionel Roshay? That's a weird one. Um, we had one the other day, didn't we? When I said I went to see David Byrne?

Yeah, who's David Byrne? He was the lead singer and talking heads, Rob. Yeah, I don't know. I couldn't tell you the the the tell you you you the the tell you tell you tell you to to to to to tell you to to to to to to tell you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told told told the told told to told told told told told told. told. told. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to their to to told. told. told. told. told. told told told told told told told told told told told told to their told to to to the tell too the too tell too the a too. too. too. too. too. too. too. toe a lot of talking head songs. Rob. What's their big one? They've got a lot of big ones. So they've got once in a lifetime, burning down the house. Burning down the house, that one. Road to nowhere? Yeah. I'm on the road. Oh, I know them. Yeah. The problem is all these bloc. From the. their bloc. From the thoes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. th. their tho. th. their. their th. their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to look like, they look like every person that's ever sung a song in the 80s. They're fucking incredible. Simon LeBon's a right legend. Also, Durant, I didn't realize only bangers they had until they played a little bit of a mix-up. I had an argument with my friend recently, because I said Durand and it is. He said, oh aces or something probably, I don't know, something's shit. I like

a racist actually but I just want to win an argument. I've got a good Simon Lebon story. Go and what's your Simon Lebon story? Alex Brooker met Simon Lebon at a party in the queue for the toilet. He likes a night out, old LeBon. And he starts with Simon Lebon. And he knows he recognizes him from somewhere but he can't remember. And then he thinks, oh, I know who it is. He does the makeup on Celebrity Juice. So Alex just starts talking to him about Celebrity Juice and saying, you're looking forward to the next series of Celebrity Juice then? And Simon LeBon's like, yeah, yeah, and Alex is like, yeah, it's gonna, you know, I'm in bad beds, you know, I just keeps talking to him about celebrity juice because he thinks

that's all we've got in common. Did Simon LeBon let him know? No, and then his wife's like, so what are you talking to Simon LeBon about? And he's like, what's like, what? He's such. He's like, that's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to be? He's? He's, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to keep? He. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. He's? He's? He's? He's? He's? He's, to. to. to. to. to. too. too. too. too. to LeBon thinks Alex Brooker's just the world's biggest celebrity juice fan and that's all he wants to talk about. I just love celebrity, it's great when he just waggles that dildo in women's faces. Just panics them. Right, should we do small bits of a shoutout?

Yeah, okay. Hi Chaps. My wife recently put to me me me me me. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the party, but my God, it's hilarious. Currently starting from episode one and working my way through, bloody L, fair play, mate. You're having to catch up 100 there, and they're increasing at two a week, so you're having to do it late. Anyway, not my point. Right, got me looking like a crazy person,

fair play. I'm struggling to get through succession. Sorry God. Got me looking like a crazy person cracking up when I walk my dog. Can I request a small business shout out please? My wife and her friend have started an amazing florist business since both losing their jobs when top shop went bust during lockdown. At floral underscore findings on Instagram. They focused on locally sourced British flowers and used sustainable materials for packaging. Flower bouquets had lived every Friday too. Bexley, Dartford, Seven Oaks and surrounding areas.

Your neck are the woods, Rob. It is, that is very close, isn't it? I've got another one for that area. Keep up the good work boys, hoping to make it to a live show soon, Liam from Dartford. Okay Liam from Dartford. Okay Liam from Dartford. This one's Longfield, this one, that's like down the road from Dauven. Up north, if you're listening, get some shout-outs. Our Southeast London small business shout-out section is quite weird, isn't it? It is. It's the South London, small business. that's quite. It's pure side hustle, that's why. It's, yeah, Beckett's got a shout out on his thing, get fucking your email in, come on, whey.

So yeah, if you are further afield, do email in and we will give a shout out. This is the Dartford special, this one. My niece, Lily, has started an online business making candles and choclets, great Mother's Day's if anyone is interested. And it's called Lux, Lux, Lux, Lux, Lux-B-E-R-R-Y-S, and they're on Instagram at L-U-X dot Beres, B-E-R-Y-S. And yeah, so they look really pretty actually, lovely candle and some chocolate-dipped strawberries, if hearts on.

Look, collection or delivery, small cost, based in Longfield. So good luck, Lily, but you might have to expand the delivery. It's a very niche demographic just you know you have to live in Longfield and you need a chocolate dip strawberry or in a candle. Tell you what that candle would come in and all the power cuts from the storms but yeah hopefully she might go further afield but yeah lucks, the the the the. Luxeburne to their their theyn. And if you are listening and you live further away than Dartford, please send in your small business shout-outs because we will do them. We'll make sure we do an up north special next week. We'll do an up north special next week, yep. Okay, we'll definitely forget to do that, but do

send them in. Well, I'll look. But, I'm just going to look at the list. There's Essex. It's been an absolute pleasure. Yeah, I've really enjoyed this Josh. I mean good luck in Lincoln and we'll see you on Friday. Yes, well I mean I'm in Doncaster tonight Rob was in Lincoln last night. Donner. Donnie. The old crew Lincoln Donner trio. Wow. It sounds like some sort of new train route to level up. Now we should say you know buy those lived. Yeah. Yeah. They need the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their train. train. train. train. train. train. train. train. train train their train. their train. train. train. train. train. train. train. train. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I. I. train. I. train. I. I. I. I. train. I. train. train. train. train. try. try. today. today. today. today. today. today. try. today. try. today. today. today. to. toickets to the live shows because the O2 needs to rebuild. They need the money now. They're nearly sold out those London ones. Our agents got very excited on the day they went on sale didn't they Rob. Basically if it's going all right they speak to you. If it's not going well, you hear nothing and they said hello. When they text you and say do you want to know the sales you think this has got to be good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good the the sales the sales the sales the sales the sales the sales the sales the sales the sales the sales the sales th. You th. You th. You th. You th. Do th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their the. the. the. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. their. their. their. their. to be good news. Yeah, none. Get on with it. Anyway, thank you so much and we'll see you on Friday.

See you on Friday. Bye.