Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP10: Brian Conley

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is an icon and legend of British comedy and entertainment, the brilliant actor, comedian, singer and television presenter - Brian Conley. You can see Brian in the Panto 'Cinderella' at Woking's New Victoria Theatre from the 2nd - 31st December 2022. Please rate and review. Thanks, Rob + Josh. BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book!  ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth. ⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents) ⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them...   [e-mail] What's it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)? And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick? Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike. Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here:  https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBook We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

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Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may three, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, you're listening to Parent in to parent. Parenting Hill with Georgia can you say Rob Beckett? Bob Beckett and Josh Widdickham. Well done. That sounds a bit Bromley that does. Not far off. Romford.

What is that? Essex? Where Steve Davis is from isn't it? Yeah, it's the same sort of accent. It's basically the same people that left East London went to Romford and the people that left Southeast London went down to Bromley Way. People in Ronford will argue it's still London, people in Bromley will argue it's still London. It's sort of is, but it's sort of isn't, who cares? This is my two and a, th, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and the th, and th, and th, and th is, and th is, and th is, and, and the same, and thi, and thi, and thi, and the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people, and the people, and the people, and the the people, and people, and the people, and people, and the people, and the people, and the people, and the people, and the people, and the people, and the people, and the people, and the people, and the the people, and the the the the same, the same, thi, thi, thi's thi's thea's thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, the, thea' thoomorrow, and people thi's thi's the people the people the people thi, put that down, George, George, George, that's what people in Romford will call Georgia when she's been a bit naughty. Oh, that's good. I'm getting an image now. They listened four to five months ago, gone back and listen to every episode. Fucking right and all. Yes, I have recently started commuting into work again so try and save your podcast to keep me entertained on the days I'm traveling in. Keep up the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good. to the good. to to the to to to to the to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the image image image image image image image image image image image the image the image the image the the the the the the the the the thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. the. to to to to to to to to thi image image image image image image image toveling in. Keep up the good work and thank you for bringing some laughs into my week. Ashley from Romford. How are you Rob? Big up Ronford. Big up the Ronford Massifor, Big John

Johnny Fisher, the Ronford Boll there's a boxer from Ronford. No, it's a boxer from Romford who's doing really well a prospect and his dad Big John's famous on Tick Tock you should do a collab with him. He goes ach. That's his one. What's a clab? Bosh. Basically you team up with someone else. Yeah and then he says Bosch at the end of everything. He could say Josh at the end of it. Josh yeah that see this is you'd love it Josh. Once you get into it you to the? the tooosh. the boss. the to to share. the to share. the the to share. the the thso. thso. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. toy. B. thi. th. that's th. th. thi. the the the the the the the the toy. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. t. B. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. ty. ty. ty. tobo. toboee. tobo. tobo. toboe. tobo. tobo you on Tuesday. He Nicked the Bosch from Tom Skinner from the apprentice anyway so getting a bit Essex heavy. How are you? All right I'm excited because you've got a new feature idea for the show. Yeah I think it's really good this. Okay so I think what's good about this show is we're really honest and talking and you're the to talk and especially you you you you the the the the the the the the to like to like to like to like to like to you to to you to you to to people. to people. to you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to to to. the talk is quite awkward isn't it because you don't know where to start. So I thought this is a good way to sort of have that message of being open and talking but in a fucking interesting way rather than some really annoying they you know people just a bit

worthy and they and it just gets a bit boring where actually needs to be entertaining even even if it is for a good cause so here's this right okay this is when this is when in your life this is this is this is this is know what, if a therapist walked through the door now, it'll be perfect timing. Okay? So hear me out, but not a really bleak moment, everyone gets really down. If someone, if your parents passed away, you feel down, that's grief. That's not you having a bit of a moment. That's just your body experiencing, and it I was trying to drive to my brother's house in Coulston and I got lost in Croydon in the one-way system and I was a bit late

but they were indoors it didn't really matter, you know it wasn't like someone's waiting at a platform or something and I got so angry I started crying and punching my steering wheel and I'd argue the problem was? Did you ever get to the bottom of that main issue? Now I'm still working that out, but the first step is accepting there is an issue, Judge. And so at that moment, if a therapist got in the car with me and went, you're okay, mate, that would be the perfect time in. So, I'm just, like, you know, when you had that panic attack. What you say this happened? This happened, this happened, this happened, this happened, this happened, th. th. th. T this happened, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they, they. their, their, their, their, their, their is, their, their, their, their, their, their, except, except, except, their, their is, their, their, their is, their is, their is, their is, except, their, their is, their is, except, their. their is, except, their is, except, except, their is, except, their is, except, their is, except, except, except, their is, except, except, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I was only like 17, but it was the first time I think as a sort of semi-grown up, I really realized that there were certain emotions I wasn't dealing with properly. This isn't about Croydon. This isn't, same way, you know when the guy in the outdoor gym started having a go at you

and you went, this isn't about the gym, is it about the gym station was it Kings Cross? Yeah. And what was that to remind the listeners you just was it on the toilet floor or something? Yeah the toilet floor of the first-class lounge just to be clear because I just don't live at the Apollo I had to get to the Leeds to do a tour show and so the production company because alive with the toilet the toilet toilet toilet the the to to the to to to the to the to to to the the to to the the toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet to toilet toilet toilet toilet to to to toilet toilet toilet to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to the the to the the the to to to to the to to the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toilet toilet toilet the toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet toilet to the tickets up so that I could enjoy the toilet floor at Kings Cross. It's cleaner though to be fair the first class lounge toilet. Well, do you know what? I'd really recommend it. If you're going to have a panic attack on any floor, that is the one. And yet, there is an argument that wasn't about live at the Apollo. Yes, or your gig. that the therapist are the therapist therapist therapist therapist therapist therapist therapist therapist therapist therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists therapists? thia? thia? thia? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, I, I, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the their, I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the door here mate. This is unacceptable. He could talk to him through the door. Also, how much money you make it as a therapist? This is the first class lounge, mate? They earn a lot. So basically, because I think the thing is when you are recognizing odd behavior is sort of the first step and getting a handle on it. So if we can make this a fun feature of people if people, if people, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, th, th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the their, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, their their their their their their their their their their their, their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thr-a, thr-a, throooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the, thooooooo. the,ed way. Rather than a big horrible secret about, because some people would have happened to you or happen to me in Croydon and would never share it,

but there's no benefit not to share it. Because there's no shame or embarrassment. That's just how the world can get on top of you at times. So I think it's a funnilet. So I think it's a fun little that's a fun little that's a fun little little little little little little little little not about Lovina Polar. I haven't had many panic attacks in my life, but I could tell you a funnier place I've had a panic attack. Well, maybe not funnier. What, it depends. But depends on a peloton.

On a peloton, during the peloton. During a peloton is not a way to burn off the stress it turns out. If anything, it's a way to double down on the stress. Yeah, if your heart's working too hard and you're getting hot. I was like, oh I can just pound this out of me. I just got on the peloton. And I'll just kind of work this adrenaline out of my body. But what I did was doubled down downed to to to to to to to to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to double the to double the to double to double to to to to to to to to double to double to to to to to to to to to to to double to double to double to double to double to double to double to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the stress. the the the the. the the thea. the thea. thea. thea. the. toe. toe. to to the. Also, it really affects your stats if you suddenly stop peddling for

a few minutes because you're having a panic attack. I think that's the least you worry isn't it in that state. And then you get more stressed about that. It's a vicious circle. It's a problem with cycling, isn't it? It's just a loop. Especially when you're still in your garage at the end of the garden facing your house and all your responsibilities pedaling to nowhere. Yeah.. think that's quite a good feature so it doesn't you know it's sort of like doesn't have to be a parenting but it can be. If I was to give anyone any advice on that as well just on the panic attack thing. The car map I've been using recently is fucking incredible. I was stress coming back from the last night because my main reason was stress was because we now film it in Hammersmith and it takes so long to get home and I was just like I can't believe it's 12 and I'm

not even out of West London but then I did 10 minutes on the car map and I basically fell asleep in the car it was incredible so I'd really recommend if you are feeling stressed downloading that app well that's a good idea so we do this people tell you you tell you tell you you the story you the story you the story you the story you the story you the story you the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tell you tell you te te I I I tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. telea. tell. I I'm the the the the the the the the the this people tell you you tell your story of when you sort of had straight a strange reaction to something or strange behavior where if a therapist go on it we need a name for this Josh we'll work on the name where the if a therapist turned up it would have been very helpful and then let us know what is you do to calm yourself down now that you so you sort of learn from that experience so I'm I listen to to to to to to the the to the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the th so the the th so the the th so th so th so thi so thi thi thi. thi. thi. thr-I thrown. the the thr-I to to to to to to to to to to tho. the. their so so their so their so their so their so their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th the. the. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. I's thrown. throwne. thracea. thracea. thracea. thracea. thracea. thracea. throwne. thrown up in the middle of the night, a bit anxious, because I get more anxious now during the night than in the day because I've got coping strategies in the day that I can't use at night because I'm out of it, obviously. So I listen to this, it's called Just Trust the Universe.

So I listen to this, just trust the universe. So I listen to that and he's quite calm the way talks. Your end of year rap on Spotify must be bizarre. Arcting monkeys, Professor Alan Watt and then Kasabian. Exactly. But yeah I've thought so yeah if you've got to do those stories of times where you've reacted oddly in a situation and it wasn't about the situation it was deeper stuff. You don't have to tell us the deeper stuff obviously, but just the location that you found yourself a bit overwhelmed and what you do now to help with that and I think it's a better way to talk and get things out as opposed to just making it some sort of stressful intervention sit down. So that's my new idea for a feature Josh.

And we should warn people we should warn you're very sensitive about it don't send it in yeah we're gonna try and make a humorous angle yeah yeah if you can't handle that fuck off is essentially but in a calm way in a calm way fuck off and have a meditate oh just fucking just chill out mate fucking put your feet off so worrying King now Josh before we introduce Brian Conley our guests this week have you heard that we are stopping Eurovision from happening? Yeah, I did. Do you know what, I heard this in a last leg meeting? So have you seen the

news about this Eurovision thing? All right, no one told me? Who told you? Someone tweeat in it, basically? Because Ukraine won Eurovision, but they can't have Eurovision there obviously. So the UK who came second are hosting but there's no venues big enough. They need an arena but all the arenas are booked out and most of them are booked out by us for their live show. I know and they're gonna, but they're gonna turf us out Rob. They're not are they? They are? Who? The bloody Eurovisions? No? We've? T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the than is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is. Is. Is. Is? Is. thorea?. thereea?. thereea. thereea. thereea. thea. the the the the the thea.....'ll have to buy us out. They're trying to get people to move their shows.

They've narrowed it down to two of the, no, they've narrowed it down to eight potential venues and we're in two of them during the, on those days. Do you have a month? What they are doing these venues currently and it's like what's going to happen regarding Eurovision. So we'll wait and see.

We haven't heard from the venues. It's the first we've heard of it. We've heard nothing. This is the first we've heard about it was our names were mentioned in the news as the people stopping. We. We. We........................ We.. We. We. We. We. We. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's.. It's.. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the in the news as the people stopping Eurovision from happening. I like Eurovision, I want it to happen. In boxing, normally say in boxing, if you've got a mandatory, for something you have to fight when you're the champion, what you can do is if you say for example, Anthony Joshua, if he beats Alexander Usik and he may have a mandatory where he's got to defend one of his belts against someone, but obviously the Tyson Fury fight is going to be millions and millions. He'll say to that mandatory, here's 500,000 pounds, take that if you let me fight Tyson Fury first,

because he's going to earn so much money from that one, he can give the money out like that. I'm not saying that the Eurovision need to pay us, but it would the Eurovision, but it would, but it would, the Eurovision, but the Euro, but to to to to to to to to pay, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, theree, theree.e, the. the. the. the. the. thr. the. the. thean. thean. toe. toe. toe. to take the pressure off to move stuff around. It would oil the wheels, wouldn't it? But don't panic if you've got tickets to everywhere but Manchester and Birmingham. They are still going ahead. They're all safe from these Eurovision bastards. But Birmingham and Manchester are the ones these Eurovision is sniffing around. Do you think we could get moved like a compulsory purchase order, you know like when they're doing. It the wheels the wheels the wheels their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the wheels their their their the wheels the wheels the wheels, it would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would the wheels, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it would the wheels, it would the wheels the wheels the wheels the wheels the wheels their wheels their wheels their their their their their their their their their their tho, I would oil thoile woile, thoile, thoile will thoile will thoile woile, thoile, thoile, it would would thoile, it would would the ones the Eurovision are sniffing around. Do you think we could get moved like a compulsory purchase order?

You know like when they're doing cross-rail? I mean, I mean what our rights are, Rob? I don't know what our rights are. Like, we're here. We're going to be there. Who would win in a fight? What, between us and Rylan? Yeah? I think Ryland, I thin Right, okay, so, here we go, me and you versus Rylan, and Graham Norton in a straightener in the street, the winner takes all?

I think, I think Norton is fit. Do you know what? He looks, he looks strong, doing like fucking ox. Yeah. Hairy and fucking solid. When Ryland's a tall guy, I th, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, they, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thrion, thrion, thrion, thrion, thri, thri, thri, thri's thrii's right right right right right right right right right right right right, thriiiii's thrii, thri, thri, think he's ranger. I think he might gas out. I don't think he's got that. He's thin, but I don't think he's got the cardio, where I think Norton would go for hours. Yeah, I think. I think, I think, what would happen is,

Rylin would cause some initial damage before blowing out. Yeah, but I'm only an inch taller on you Josh, Ryland's six foot seven. And he wears heels, I'll never reach him, I'll have to bite his ankle. Do you know what? I'm going to make an offer to Eurovision. Yeah, so we'll to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to to to the the to to to the the to get to get to get the to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the their their their their their their one their one their one their one their one their one their one their one their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I out the English scores. Yes please we'll do that and we'll find another date. Yeah so if we have a fight though or chuck us a load of money no we won't do that we won't do that just the scores. I'm spear tackling Ryland and then I'm ground and pounded him the make, I'm younger. So you've got asthma though. I'm probably faster. Yeah I've got asthma but what, yeah.

So I think I just stay on my toes and in and out. In a fight, would you have an asper pump sort of round your neck like a necklace or in the pocket or just to the side? What would you have it in my mouth instead of a gum guard? So I've th. I I I I I I have th. I have th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I'm taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken. I taken taken taken t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm ta. I'm probably ta. I'm probably ta. I'm probably ta. I'm a gum guard. So I'm constantly in my mouth. And then if someone punched me I'd just get a blow a ventling from it so it'd actually been positive. Perfect. Okay, well sounds good. Well Eurovision, get in tough and we'll have a straight new in Ryell and a Norton. Yes he wins. In the O2, Indigo O2 on some sort of bare knuckle. Anyway, Josh is time to introduce Brian Connelly. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. thu, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, to to thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, I thu, I'd thi, th th th, th, th, th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thu, I thu, thu, thu- thu-in, thu-in, thu-in, tho, tho, tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thoooo tho thoo tho tho, tho, introduce Brian Conley. Well, Rob, do you want to give him the big build-up? One of the best comedians this country's ever produced, all-rounder, family entertainment. You're a hero? One of my heroes.

I saw him as a kid. He's still as funny now as he was then. He's doing Panto all through Christmas, very funny man and a good bloke. This is Brian Conley. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having the spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply.

Visit MX.c.a. Welcome to the podcast, Brian Conley. I'm very excited about this, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, th.. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, Apply, visit MX.C.A. slash business plan. Welcome to the podcast, Brian Conley. I'm very excited about this, Brian. I'm, I've got moist. I'm very upset. And I would like to apologize for my visual thing that you'll see it. Yeah, you've got a line down the screen. Do you know what, you're saying apologized? We just had some, the classic mute problems on Zoom and you're when you were speaking we couldn't hear you and your face was so funny I thought he's doing a

bit. This is him doing like a kind of icon a feel for comedy. Yeah I've even got the comedy screen let me point out to the listeners yeah when we're in lockdown we just before lockdown we bought this computer, Wopper Chopper does the old fingerprint, you haven't got to do anything. But we never realized the blimming, so there's a cracking line down the middle. Oh in the camera, yeah. You know, so, but I'm doing the one-shund. And my next door-nabe camera, because they got a good computer and we couldn't get it on. So I'm in the middle

there of the, you know, the great big sort of 20 about 20 screen with this blimming thing and you're right I do. And people only, when I was walking down through it, they're going, yeah, all right, Brian. I should take a photo of it so he could put it online. That line down your head. that line. thi. I have thin line thine thine thine thine the line thine the line thine thine the line thine the line the line thine line thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the. I've, th. I've, th. I've thi. their, th. I've, th. I've, th. I'm, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. try. try. try. try, th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the., you've made it here. So Brian, how many kids you got? Let's start off with that. Two kids. I have two girls. I've got Lucy and Amy. Lucy is, as you just saw, because of my age, she's helped me get on this podcast.

In fact, I have to say, this is very first podcast I've done it ever ever in my life. Really? Amazing. Here we go. I've done radio. You see, what's the difference between radio and podcast? Tell me that one? That we don't have to, we don't have to play a song we can just babel on for as long as we want. There's no time restraints. No bosses as well. There's no man telling us what to do. We can say things like Barm and poo. Yeah, I'll just say it now. Fuck. I never ever said it. I don't, I think there's people out there going, I can't believe it. It's good of getting the papers and everything. Did you work clean then completely, basically, all your stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you had to. When I was doing my show, I had a joke where, you know, I wanted to say bum, and I was not allowed to say bum. And no one, and I, and I, and I, and I was, and I th. And I th. And I to say, and I to say, and I to say, and I to say, and I to say, and I to say, and I can't, and I can't to say, and I can't to say, and I can't to say, to say, to say, to say it's to say to say to say, to say, to say, I th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. F. F. F. F. th. F. F. th. F. F. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to, I to. to, I to say, I that, I'm just just say, I one, and I can't believe it, you know, like now everyone can say fart.

You know, you can say fart in Panama. You were never ever allowed to do that. But now it's very acceptable because I suppose the sort of rule is, if you're, you know, a little kid going to school, you know, how would the teacher react? What are you're doing? Well, I just farted, you know, so that was always the times of change. But then you also did have a TV show where you pretended to play the violin with your cock out. Well, no, yeah, it's underlying that people worry that my penis had a nail on the end of it. No, it was my finger. I had the full's probably the best visual in the world this high it's unbelievable the song the devil went down at Georgia and when I hold the

bow with my finger that they have that rock where the whole audits just go forward yeah that's so good is I can never follow it I'll do it and he always says me ages to get the blimming thing on so there's this hiatus where I'm sort of trying to get thing on anyway yeah so what we talked about my kids yeah so I would get the sort of gushing stuff out the way but I've always loved all your stuff we said on this podcast that Rob saw you and that's what was in butling when I was a kid when I was a kid what how old you you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was thin is thin is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the the the the th is thin is thin is thin is thin is to to thin is toy to toy ty. ty. ty. ty. today. ty. today. thin is. thin is. thin is. thin is. th th th th th th How old are you been, Rob? I can't remember. You were doing a routine where you sort of had a pretend baby in a buggy and it was crying and then all the dangerous Brian stuff. I remember watching out on the tele, having the VHS and things like that.

And we all watched it as a family and absolutely loved it. And that's my ideal comedy is when you can watch it with your nano. the th this Brian. Your reason, that night is the reason Rob Beckett is here now. I left this stage early that night because I thought there's a weird kid in the audience with great the dog. He's trying at me. Stage manager said, you've only done 20 minutes, I said What is that in the middle? I remember that routine, I've still got, I never ever throw one prop away.

I love props, I love visual comedy, I think visual comedy goes right across the ball, young, old, and I do it. You still got it up in the loft. Because what happens was the baby's come out, I had the baby made, it was the babies come out, I had the baby made, it was the ugliest baby ever. I used to do a couple of baby jokes. Then I put it in there and there was a very popular song that we are the world, we are the children. And then a little, and I used to put the baby in the prayer, and then I had a little lever and the baby t rocking it. I think once I had kids I go I don't want to relate to him at all my kid jokes all my baby routine when I get out of the house I just

want to forget those kids now. And so what point in your career did you have the kids? I was doing really well and then it all went wrong I could hang on a podcast. So how old are they now Brian? So we've got Lucy who's 20 and Amy who's 25 Lucy works as an event manager a very popular Cinema chain and Lucy wants to be a comedian. Oh wow and she's a great singer and She's done a little bit of work. She's done a bit of acting and she's got a pantomime Oh, wicked. Yeah, she's doing pantomomime in Richmond. The love of singing has always been there as well but Lucy just says that extra really wanted to be in the biz. So how are you going to feel watching her in panto? Well not I'm working. The trouble is

Anne Marie, my lovely wife, will have to decide which one she goes to because we start rehearsals the same time and we finish at the same time. Where are you? Where is your? Where is? Where is? Where is the the the th? Where is th? Where is th? Where is th? Where is your th? Where is your the th? th? the th. th. the th. th th th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. their th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the thi. the thi. thi. to to to to to thi. to to to to to to the the to the the to the the. the the the the. the the thi. to. Because we start rehearsals the same time, and we finish at the same time. And where are you? Where's your Panto this year? Is it Woken? Yeah, thank you very much. So I bet I would have ended up in Worthing. Or something.

No, it's Woking, Cinderella. the second of December. Buy tickets now. From 13 quid, oh that's got. If you're going to go and see Pando, you've got to go and see Brian Connoy Cinderella surely. You, well how old are your children now guys? Mine are six and four, I reckon they really enjoy it. I'll have to bring them down. They are panto age. And what about you Josh? A minor four and one. One obviously. Sometimes if I've got friends like that, they're a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. toooooooo. toda. today. today. today. today. today. today. today today of kicks off. Oh, there's no way I'm bringing the baby. No, I'm gonna come down this year. If you're at Woking, it's not far from me. I'm telling you, you'll love it and you'll go, oh my god, this unbelievable.

It's huge, it's a big, big show. And I always say, give me the first week full and I'll take care of the rest. It's, it's word of mouth, it's making them cry with laughter. And I love Panto because it ticks all the boxes because you've got your pathos, your comedy, you're dancing, you're acting, your ad libbing when you got the little kids up at the end, which I can wangle because you know you know someone in it now. So, you come, I will get you, how do you think your children will react to being part of, this is that little bit right at the end, where I talk to him and we do something like,

I am the music band or, no, what what is it, um, old McDonald had a phone. How were your children react to being on stage? Well, well, I brought mine out on stage when I did South End Cliffs and one, one, the older one is quite shy and then, uh, the younger one spoke a little bit and stuff. So that, I think that'd go out, but the younger one would probably talk and the older one would just clam up. She sort of like, always lets the younger one go first and do it. Well we're gonna find out, and what about you, Joss? I think my daughter who's four would, I think she'd panic. But you must have that all the time, because kids are, like, you must have loads

of the quietest kids. I get the ashterets to choose them. I will not be responsible for that because they could be fights. We have four. Well all I want is four little kids and I want the quietest kids in that room. I don't want the mad ones. Yeah. And I just want them looking sweet and then of course you never know what they're going to do. You know. But the audience love it. It is, you can throw everything at a pantomime, but those kids at the end. And I wanted to say, yeah, as I've got older, I don't push for any comedy. I don't, I just let it happen. And I think more than anything, as a parent now, all I want to see is that child having a lovely time.

And that means is true. It's educating little kids into the excitement of live and being in the here and now and putting your iPhones out the way. And I say to them, I say, do you know what, when you go on, you're going to all talk about this, you're going to be sitting in the car talking about it. And you know why? Because you've shared your phones away. And it is something, as you well know guys, it's addictive, that live. Yeah. Well, that's what I still remember that I was only four or five, but seeing you and like that being made to laugh with other people in a big room by someone on stage of that

light on them is, I was mesmerized by and you don't really forget that kind of thing, if that's the, especially the kind of thing you're th, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I I I I that, I I I I I I I I's, I I I I I's, I I's, I's, I I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that's that's tha. that's tha. that's that's that's that's that's thi. I'm, I'm, arts and the theatre and stuff, but, you know, it's amazing. And did you have your children come and watch you from an early age then? Well, they both were. I've got them in the show with pantomime. Amy is wonderfully talented, but she's never quite had that confidence to get out there. Lucy is slightly different. I think Amy takes tha tha tha tha me, but Lucy desperately wanted to be part of it. So I had a, you don't have it now, but they used to have little teams of the babes, so you'd have 10 little kids that would be part of it. And I got her to be one of the babes and she would learn the dance routines. But I always had another costume made because I've heard of people of the people their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. th. the. thu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thinks. I'm thinks, thinks, their, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thi. I, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was, thi. I was. I was, thi. I'm, their, thi. I'm thi. I'm their, thi. I'm thi. I'm their, their, teeeateateateat. I'm teat. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm tie. I'm t had another costume made because I've heard of people

that yes, they're 10 kids, they take one out while the celeb's daughter or son could do it. And then that poor child that was left out, obviously, because they didn't have a costume, but I went, nope, I want an 11th costume. I want everything in 11th so that little loose can dip in and out. And then right at the very end, when I about the bear, the fairy would come out and we get Lucy when she was tiny and Amy would do this say about, I don't know, like about three or four and she would come out with the ferry with the bear and give it to the child who's a similar age. And then I would go to Lucy I go hello what's your name she goes Lucy and I go how old are you she would go I'm three and three quarters and I go have we ever met before and she go no daddy you know I've always had the

kids around you know the dressing room has been there home and especially in pantom and even right now up until this year when Lucy's gonna be doing a pantomom and she's the the the they. th she's th she's th she's th she's th she's th she's th th th th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I their th. I thr. I thr. I's thr. I's thrown. I's thrown. I'll thrown. I'll thrown. I'll thrown. I'll thrown. I'll their their their their their their their theime and even right now up until this year when Lucy's going to be doing a pantomime she's been there she's always been there and and they both have you know they've grown up in in the theater when I've been in the West End in shows when I was in the musical nine to five I played the sadistic sexist boss and in the end the first half I get captured by the three girls at work in the office. They take me back to my house and tie me up, but they realize that I'm quite,

I'm into S&M and all that. So they put me in this rubber-bleeding costume, the ball, all chains. Anyway, so this is the end of the first half all through the second half I have to wear the same costume so in the interval when I'm there for a year over a year and a half you know I'm sitting there with my daughter having a cup of tea in the dress in all this gear and she took a photo and she posted it on Instagram where you go you know bring your sitting there in a rubber costume.

It just becomes so normal. I mean what was it like when you were you had your kids about you know 20 years ago and stuff and your show was an I-TV and at that point tell was getting millions and millions of viewers way more than it does now so what you know it must have been difficult the school gates where like you that age I'm a bit older than the millions their their their their their their.. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's is is is is th. It's th. It's th. It's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I's thi's te. I's teeei. I's just tei. I'm just just tei. I's just just tei. I's just just tei. I's just tea. I's just loved you. Like I loved you at that age. I'm a bit older than your daughters, but you know, what was it like for them, you know, with their dad being the famous funny guy? Dad was dad, you know, they grew up with it, so they didn't know any different, but I made a conscious decision. They went to a place in Hillington called ACS. And from, and from, and from, and from, their, their, their, their, their, th and, th and, th and, th and, th and, th and, th and, th and, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th.... So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, toooooooooooooooooooooo. What, tha, tha, tha, thi, school. They went to a place in Hillington called ACS. And from kindergarten, they were there.

And no one knew who I was. And no one knew, you know, because they were all American kids or international kids. But they went there and no one knew me and I wanted that. Oh really? Was that a decision because you were sort of so well? thoo. It was a good school. And we, that, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, was a thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi.e.e. We were, thi.e.ean, tho.ean, tho.ean, thoo.ean, thooo.ean. We were, their, their,? No, it was a good school as well. We knew it was a good school. And we, you know, we just felt that this would be the best way that, you know, people would take them on face value, not that all that's Brunley's daughter there, you know, moms and dads. There was a few, obviously a few, uh, that were British, you know that were were there, but predominantly it was all, it was an international school.

So that's where we went. I can imagine that you're quite a fun dad. Do you know what I mean? You're, I can imagine you being playful and enjoying like acting out with children and all that kind of stuff. Absolutely. I think it's why I'm good in Panto because I always say I'm like a cheeky little teenager. Yeah that that's that's thak I thake that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I'm that's, I'm, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I that's that's that's that's thi, I that's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thiou. I'm thiou-I'm thioliou-I'm thiolou-I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's thi teenager. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm like. And I've always been like that. And I've always embarrassed my kids and enjoyed that very much.

In what ways would you do it? Well, we're on holiday and you know, we were in a completely foreign country. Not one person speaks English, but the band are playing a song in my key. You know where we're at the bar.. And they they they're they're they're they're they're playing. they're playing. I the the the the the the the the the their their their their their th. I th. I th. I'm playing. I'm playing. I'm playing. I'm playing. to to to to their. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I I their. I I to to to to to to to th. I I I I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th. I th. I th th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm always always always today. I'm today. I'm thooo-piece sort of little dud-do-do and I'm going I know this one and they go dad don't don't don't and I will get up I will get up and I was seeing and I work the crowd and I know that yeah that child is very much in me you know I've always been like that I've always been silly I've always been

silly I've always been like got that face you've got a funny face. Even when we're just trying to get the zoom work and you weren't doing anything but it felt like a bit. Yeah. So like how do you how are you serious with your kids like I've sort of got that stupid face as well no offense but you know I tend to just I don't know what do I do. No not to to thi. No not to thrown. I think I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm the the the the the the the the the that I'm that I'm that I'm that that that that that that that that that that that the the the they. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm to. I'm try. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. she has to sort of, I tend to just, I don't know, what do I do? I think I've only had to go once, once ever, you know, I do. What was that? Can you take us to say that? Or it was just about being not polite, you know, and it was just a moment where I just went, no, I've got a restaurant, always very polite to the waiters and all that sort of thing and want my kids to be like that. Were you good with the, I mean the teenage years, particularly with girls I think is a really tough gig for a parent.

Do you know what I mean? I was working. I've always, I've always worked and and then come in to see me unless I've been on tour, but even then being on tour. And very much my stand-up era sort of ended just when the girls sort of turned up and then I was doing lots of musicals and I've done a lot of them and tellie and so they were always part of that you know so and I would very much involve them if I am on tour, I go, well, I look after Lutz this week. She's at school. She can come with me.

And they love it, being in the hotel. And of course, being with everyone there. But I was always been reminded, because I said, right, I got to talk about the kids. And Marie, what can I say? What can I say? we're on holiday. If there would only be about six and I go see that kid in the pool over there, were you going to talk to him? They go now I go go go on because I know the this if Lucy has a little friend that's it they're gonna play they're gonna keep out the way for a while. Yeah I would pay her to go and talk to the kid. Yeah I'll give me five past you're not not in five I'm a to go I I I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm the to to to to to to to to to to to that I'll I'll give I'll give 10 10 10 10 I'll give 10 I'll give I'll give I'll give that I'll give I'll go I'll go I'll go I'll go I'll go I'll go I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm th the th the the th the the tian five I'm tian five I'm tian five tian five tip tip tip te. go I'm g go 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 pound I'm not in far, I'll give me 10 pounds. If you just go over, you don't have to be friends with them, but just go and talk to them.

And then they go over and talk, and that'd be it, bang. Yeah, and it's off, it's normally that bit apprehensive about that opening bit. Because I knew that that was dear. And then they got a little bit. And we get their their their to get, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, to, and, and, the, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, to, to, and, to, and, and, the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.... And, tha, tha, tho, tha, to, tho, tho, to.. And, no I don't think people should we went crabbing once and we were in South End or somewhere and we went out we bought the things and Anne Marie and Amy was on the beach and me and me and loose went out to sort of like the peer and we're sort of doing it all anyway Lucy's upset she can't get anything and so

so little kid next me and I bought his crabs. I got to be money. I'll give you a 10 pound for the crabs. He's a little big fucking fool and we went back and we went back and I said to you know my brother and you know my, oh my god look how many you got. The other kid. You know this is what I'm like I'd sort of come back and I said to you know my brother. th. this. th. this. th. th. th. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. I was. I was. I was. the the the he. I was. I was. I'm the the he. I like. I've sort of come back and I said to you know my brother, you know, you know. Yeah, of course he was, it's a floor manager, we've worked over the years. And he said, the best advice you ever gave me bribe, is when you said it all gets good when you can bribe

them. When you start, when you can bribe them, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's your worries are over. You've got that sleep deprivation, those early years and all that game. But then as you get a little bit older, maybe you do the little star thing on the fridge where you know, you're going to take one star away, no, you're not going to get, father Christmas when I'm like, oh no, you can't do it. Oh, you're not having those sweets because you're there. You're their there, you're there, you're there, you're on the other side and have they brought any of boyfriends or girlfriend's home or anything Brian Okay, how's that been? It's been great. I think no I'm fine with it. I mean psychologically the first time it might you know obviously they're a bit older now so they're like when they first start dating yeah I think

I think it's a tough first thing to deal with it a lot after a couple of years and there's been a couple. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they're a th. thi. Yeah. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a they's a th. they's a th. th. th. th. they're. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a t. Yeah. It's a tough. It's a tough. It's. It's a tough. It's a tough. It's a tough. It's a they're. It years and there's been a couple of different people, you sort of just get used to it, but the first time... You know, look, yeah, you can moan at them about maybe drinking too much or how you don't take drugs and all that, but this is very much part of the circle of life and things moving on and you need to find out what you need to find out. In no way I'm going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the way I'm going to be upset to be upset to be upset to be to be upset to be to be to be to be to be to the way in the way in to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way I I I the way don't want to come in him, you know, don't even want to explain what you'd be worried about, but you don't want that. I think we can guess. But, you know, but lose, Amy has got a lovely pardon now. Dash who's a lovely guy and they just, you know,

they just seem so happy. You know, it's for them to be happy but it's it must be the bit when if they bring someone home when they're like 1617 and let's you know they're in the the the bloke's a no bed or the girls are not bed you know they're no bed your wife knows are not bad but you just have to them they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they they they're they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they because they were worried. They knew that I would say something. And I dropped the minute or I'd say something embarrassing about something that happened years ago. So they never ever ever ever brought up to happen. I never ever bring anyone back because he was always worried that I'd say something. Not have a dig or anything, but just

I always put my mouth foot in it. Yeah. Or just break into song. It's that kind of thing. Well of course. you know. And so the the the th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th the th th the the th. I th. I was the the th. I was th. I was the th. I'd the the the the the the their th. I'd their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I I I I I I their. I I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their their their th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll their. I'll their. foot in it. Yeah. Or just break into song. It's that kind of thing. Well, of course, you know. And so what was it like the first time they did bring someone? Well, the first time is really a lovely guy called Dash now and Amy's 24. And before that, I was aware of people and Anne Marie was aware, but no, Dash is the first one that's been back and been welcomed into the family. You've got to. You have to.

That's part of, you know, we did. You know, everyone has to. And so you're very, you know, you've got to do Uber. You know, you're very, you know, you've got to find my iPhone. Where's she, where's the train on. No, get, no, it's got to do Uber. No, don't let, no, it's too late to get the train. You know, and all these sort of things. But really you just, you have to let them go. Because that's, that's, that's, that's it. That's part of it. And as long as they're around, they're around and you know, they're around, they're, they're, their, they're, they're, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to get, to get, to get, to, to, to, to, to get, to get, to get, to, to, to, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, got a very close family. Me and Anne Marie have been together 31 years. We've been married 25 now.

So, but you know, we, and that's not bad, it's show business. That's me honest. But I am a family bond. You know, that's my well. People say, what do you do? This family for me. It's going to have at a a to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. to. to. to. I's. to. I's. I's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, the the the the the the the tha. And, the the. And, the th. And, th. And, the the th. And, the the toe. And, the toe. And, to me. And, to. And, to. And, the. And, the. And, th. And, it's it's going to cinema. It's going to have for meals It's getting us all together at weekends things like that You know, so that's been very important in my life And did you find when did you find that like you've got a more time on your hands now? Do you know what I mean? There's that period of whatever ten twelve years or whatever when it's just parenting parenting? And what did it feel like it th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the thi thi the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. thu? thu? thi thi thi the the thea thea thea thea thea thea. thea thea that's that's that's that's that, did you feel like, I think a lot of people come out of that,

they're like, what do I do now with this time? Mmm. Josh, do not kid yourself. It doesn't happen. It does not happen. It does not. I swear on my life. I'm not doing it for comedy or any. I used to think now when I was younger. I got how they get older they drift away. No, they don't. They're around all the time. Or you've got other problems. Oh, we need

to sort out. They always got to sort of me car, all me tax-uiture. It doesn't happen. Yeah, you basically get three boilers that you have to sort out. It's like in films. You know but when they drift away. No. they're they're they're they're they're they're the, they're there. They love it. Three meals, washing machines, everything's working here, mum does the ironing, you know. And then they have kids who need babysitters? Yes, that's it. I see it doesn't stop, you know, it's not like, bye. They go off, you know. And were you excited about the prospect of grandchildren? And they're a bit young now, absolutely. thy. thy. thy. thi. to, to, to, to, thi, thi, to, to, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, thi, that, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they's, they's, they. they's, they. they. they. they's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thooooooooomoomorrow, that, they're, they're, they're, they're a bit young now for it as they get older.

Yeah, no absolutely. I mean, yeah, no I am of course, you know, that's another part of it. Yeah, I've never really thought about it but it would be lovely to be a grand grandfather, granddad. Was it difficult when they were born because you were so busy there that part of your career? When Lucy, Amy was born, I was really on top form and yeah I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th there that part of your career. When Lucy Abey was born I was really on top form and yeah I mean Broncone Show was getting 12 sometimes 15 million people and they people never even give that a second thought of the time you know like yeah like Eastenders was getting 30 you know they were getting you could not toucest the soaps they were all getting 25 30 million so anyway so anyway so Amy's it's just about to be born and we the the the the the to the to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be the to be the to be the to be the the to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their. to be to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. their their te. their. their. I their. their. their. I their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was.touch the soaps. They were all getting 25, 30 million. So anyway, so Amy's,

it's just about to be born and we can rush to the hospital and all that game. Then she's there. And it was like a war zone. I thought I'd just be up the eating end, just going, go on, go, push, push, push. No, it was all like, oh, I was really involved and it was all happening. And then when a baby come out, it was like this blue blob. You know, it was sort of, I don't know if, it was scary. It was really scary and I was now aware that they take them over to like this weighing thing, and then they put a little tube in their mouth and go, and then all everything comes out because I don't hit them on the bum anymore. And that all comes out and then they start crying. So the baby's all blue and it's all over there and I'm so worried.

I'm going, is it okay? Is it all right? It's very quiet. And they're going, yeah, don't worry. I'm not joking. Please tell me, is it all right? And the woman's, that's incredible. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, is. It's, is. It's, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is OK. It's OK, is OK, is OK, is OK, is OK, is OK, is OK, is OK, is OK, is OK, is OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. in my mother's life. I swear on my life. That is incredible. I know. But it would just remind listeners that many, many moons and my cataray's was, it's a puppet. Which I'm reminded of every day for the last year.

Oh wow. On the birth of your child though, that's you don't need your catchphrase end. It was blue and they were all over there busy and around. Okay. It's it all all all all all all all all all all all all. And the th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. Oh, that. Oh, th. Oh, that's that's that's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh. Oh. end. It was blue and they were it's all over there busy and around it. Okay I said alright and then another time when Lucy Amy was six and we were at a pizza restaurant and I had my baseball cap on my glasses and we were having food. She went dad can you take your hat off and I went yes can you take your glasses off I went yes and she stood up she went everybody this is Brian Conley. I never forget that. And you want the absolute truth, what happened next? I swear on my life.

This is what happened next. Sat down, ate a bit of pizza, choked on the cheese and spewed up all over a plate. Then I had to pick the plate up with all the sick on and go to the restaurant. So there you go, that's being a parent. And then one time we're at a hotel and the pool area was quite some way away from our little apartment on the hotel. And we had the Lucy, Amy in this sort of like a nappy thing that you could go in the pool with. It's like waterproof nappy. And we're sort of looking at me and Amarillo and

oh God look at that lump. Oh God, she shared herself. Oh bleeding now. Oh we've got to go all the way back. I went off. Don't worry. And so I went to her, you know, she was sitting by the pool and then I put my hand down, grabbed the poo, put in my pocket and then went over into the shower, you know, while the pool and I'm squeezing my pocket to get the flea, you know, the poo to sort of dissolve with my pocket. What am I doing? This is being a day. I'm on the telly every night. I'm squeezing shit out of my pocket now. Oh my God. Oh, one last question that we always ask. Is there one thing parenting wise that Anne-Marie does with the kids that annoys you, but you don't say, you just swallow it.

And if she was to listen, she'd go, yeah, that's a fair point. Is there one thing you clash on with parenting? I do I really want to drop myself on a shit in any way whatsoever. She's so good with them. She really is. You know, and that's it really. My only cry, is we've got a walking wardrobe and I've got the back of a chair. That's my only great.

No, I love it a bitch. And I don't know what to say really, because I don't want to drop myself in it. But there th I th I the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their I I I their I their I their I their I th. I don't I don't th. th. thoomomomomorr. thathea. that's, I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I th. that's, I th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that. that. that's, that's, that that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I'm, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th know. I don't know what to say really. Because I don't want to drop myself in it. But there isn't really. There isn't anything. You know, if I analyze it, we both shared this experience, but very much, I've had to go out there and work and Anne Marie's been there 24-7 with them, you know, and they're great kids and that's all you want, isn't it? Oh, it's been an absolute joy to talk to. Thank you so much, Brian. And I think the thing for me is where Josh went,

so how do you find that impugniness when they've gone? And you go, no, mate. That doesn't happen. Donovan you've got them now, and you will ever until you die. Absolutely perfect, thanks to him. Thanks, mate. Brian Connolly there. I love that. Do you know what, Rob? He wasn't on promo and it's the most promo we've ever given anything. Well, do you know what? Panto is for kids though, and it's quite interesting to hear about it. And my kids are definitely the right age for it, but no He's an absolute legend Brian Conley Yeah, or did he just ultimately pull our pants down and did the greatest plug-in of all time Yeah

Yeah An old wily foxes absolutely played us and I'm gonna get that much plug in or not. to tell you that whether you mean the floor manager or not? We did get it's a puppet and a pocket full of shit. Yeah, exactly. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's that's that's th. th. th. the they's they. they's they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. tog shit. Yeah, exactly. Which was fair as well. But no, I'll obviously love that. I'm definitely going to take the kids. But also, like from a theater, theater's worth shut for two years. So if you want to go and support your local theater, it's good thing to do. Do you know what? people that are doing. Oh that's a great idea. Yeah I'm just trying to look for Plymouth. Not for Michael he's got to do it. It's an absolute nightmare. Okay.

How about let the next I tell you what what one episode what we should do is one episode we'll just go through you give me each episode thi and I'll tell you he's playing there. Yeah perfect up until Panto season as a to the Pantos and support the theatre's message. Yeah. Also as well, that's how altruistic is that? We've not even in Panto. What are the listeners going to expect is we're going to announce a huge Panto show? Yeah, just to be clear, maybe we should be promoting our own theatre shows.

We shouldn't be really the time promoting packing Pantos that we're not in. We've got to talk to sell, mate. I've still got some shows on sale in the autumn. Go Eastbourne. Yeah. Somewhere else. No, sorry. I'm not going to Espon, Rob, because I'm watching Craig Charles in the

in Aladdin. And if you like a pananto story, listen to the Jared Christmas episode where he talks about his time with Priscilla Presley. Oh, that is a great Panto story. Um, right. We're a big Panto place. Anyway, we've talked too much. Should we go? Yeah, bye. Bye.

Hello, Tom Allen here. And Sue, thoom. Like-minded friends. It's very much a celebration of, I don't know, what would you say, Sue's being queer? Being queer, but also chit-chat. There's loads of straight people that love it, so I think that you should come along and listen to it. There's something for everybody. It's been described as white noise for gays, but also we had a lovely section about Glade plug-ins. So why don't you listen to it? Search, like mind thii. that you that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi-minded thi-minded thi-minded thi-minded thi-minded th-minded th-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded thi-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded-minded th-minded th-minded th-minded th-minded th-minded th-minded th-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-m is thi-m is thi-m is thi-m is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi-s are thi-s are thi-s are th-s are th-s are th-s are th-s are to-s are to-s are th-s are th-s are th-s'-s are th-s are th-s are thin-s are the queue and you are waiting, then step to the side! I got in touch, you said, yeah, sorry, mate, you didn't seem like yourself the other day. You've only met me three times. The self-service checkouts. I don't care what you're called. I'm not getting tricked into working here. Yes, the hat. But do you know what a snake's penis looks like? Two pounds sixty-nine for a bottle of water.

Why is your Wi-Fi code ten characters lost? People who do their shoes old. I don't care if you're watching. Booth, cut, jeans. What's upset you now? Hello, I'm Paul McCaffery. And I'm Sean Walth. And we are the host of the hittoday. 15 minutes long. That is perfect for your commute. Absolutely perfect. What a

little 15-minute bus drive to work, stick an episode of What's Up, set you now on. What's it all about, Sean? Well, me and Paul and a big-name comedy guest such as Tom Allen or Rob Beckett or Josh Whittak will rant about what has got our goat that week for only 15 minutes. All those little things, like for for example, do you know Gatwick Airport are now charging you five to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get their a their a their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, their. 15, their. 15, their. 15, their. 15, their, their, their, their, their. A. A. A. A. A. A. thi. thi. thi. 15, th. 15, th. 15, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. 15. 15 minutes. All those little things, like for example, do you know Gatwick Airport are now charging you five pounds to get dropped off at their door? And now the sun's back out and people are off doing yoga in the park again. New episodes every Tuesday and Thursday, what's upset you now with me Paul McCaffrey and me Sean Walsh.