Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP13: You can't send me to prison

Episode Date: September 6, 2022

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Please rate and leave a review  Thanks Rob + Josh If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book!  ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth. ⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents) ⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them...   [e-mail] What's it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)? And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick? Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike. Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here:  https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBook If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York You.C.A. I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee. Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Not whatever you think university is for.

Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Hello. You're listening to Parenting Hell with Jake. Can you say Josh Whittakum? No. What's the name of him? And can you say Rob Beckett? Good boy. Look at that. That's an estuary twang, Dartford, Gray's in chat and talk to me Josh. Okay here's a clip of my two-year-old son Jake attempting to say both your names,

whilst being blackmail to do so with the prize of chocolate at the end. Open brackets I didn't have any chocolate so jokes on him close brackets huge huge fans of the show that's that's gonna surely cause more problems than it solves isn't it? Yeah no it's not the kids not gonna be happy with that no kids I mean your problem huge fans of the show have binge listened to everyone and constantly recommend to other frazzled parents the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their th of to to thoes of their thoes of to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their. I I I thoes. I thoesl. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tho. thea. th huge fans of the show have binge listened to everyone and constantly recommend to other frazzled parents, friends I know. We had Jake on the 8th of April 2020. My birthday.

My birthday, is it? My birthday? Oh, that was real panic stations, lockdown. Oh, what was going on there? Yeah, at the beginning of the first lockdown, your podcast saved my sanity and marriage, some incredibly challenging times I've got no memory in that birth or the listener yeah that was that you talking to me no I haven't said my son to listen if you've been listening Jake was born with a medical condition oh shit okay did you go into a serious point off band you'd never work on

this moment you know what I had a proper one show moment there, Rob. There's a reason in the auto cue of the one show. I've noticed that it says in brackets, tone change. Tone shift, okay? To the tone shift now, lie. Jake was born in the medical condition that was very isolating, but listening to your podcast with other parents' perspectives helped us manage the road ahead, knowing we weren't alone. Thanks for always being so honest and adding a touch of humor to some of the less appetizing elements of touch of child rearing.

A touch, big love Lisa, Dan, Layla five and Jake too. Thank you very much. That means a lot. Thank you. How do you think I dealt with a tone change there? I think you may, I don't think you hid it well. No. I think, you know, you got a long way to go to be Phillips Gofield. You know what, no, when I started doing the podcast today, do you know what I know this? You know there's like, when I get the quick time up, it's in my little fire called other,

there's some weird stuff on computers that I've never used. I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just sort sort just sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. I'm just sort sort sort sort sort sort thi's to thi. I'm thi. I'm to thi. I'm to thi. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm to thi Rob. There's key chain access, don't know what that, it's system information, stickies, stickeys, airport utility, what the fuck is that? Time machine? Is it a time machine? I've got a time machine? You think they made that more central wouldn't you? That would be the main selling point if I had a computer of a time machine? The console, digital colour meter, chess, have you ever played chess on your computer? No, I don't like chess. I find it too stressful.

I feel like people are plotting against me. It's not like you. No, I know. Well, they are plotted against you. That's the point of it is, exactly. It's like that one, you know the one where you turnedthe wheels and is it called down, it can't be called down for where you turn the wheels and the and it turns the wheels on the other side for the person and you don't know where they're such a bad description no I've ever played that I played battleship yeah once again once again

but they made a film of battleship and Riana was in it. I'm sure, unless that was some cheese dream. You sure that wasn't just another film called Battleship? No, it was based on the game. Was it? I promise you. And was there any bits in it where she was like E4? Yeah, basically. Loa's a lot.

Yeah, it was crap. Yeah, that's my kind of thing in it. . Absolutely crap. Yeah, it's my kind of thing, in it. Yeah, of course. Big explosions, Michael Bay stuff, I love it. I watched Ambulance the other day, you ever seen that? Nope. Just about an ambulance going really fast through LA. I don't think, you know, film 2022 with Rob Beckett would be, actually, let's be be honest with you.

It'd be fast. It would say, you'd get through the films, wouldn't you? It's about an ambulance driving through some streets. Okay, next. My rule is if a film's longer than two hours, I'm not watching it. Yeah, oh God, if a book's longer, if it's longer, My kids are still off fucking school, Josh. Yeah, me too, mate. I've got two more days of it. Back to my, I just had to give him a massive bollockin, that's what I've been up to. Did you?

Massive bollocking. Give me your bollocking now. Well, basically, should I explain what the bollockin was about? So they've got a big cardboard to that, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, to, too, to, too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, give, to, to, too, too, too, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, and too, and their, tho, as the other one stabbed it with a Harry Potter wand being a magician. But you know the trick. Like the knives in the box? Yeah, so knives in the box. But obviously they don't know magic, so they're not doing the trick and hiding around

the corner. The four-year-old in there just dodging the blades. A thooing a very sharp pointy, th. Yeah, that's a sharp wand that will go through a cardboard box. Exactly, so he's doing that. Anyway, so Lou said to, look, it mustn't do that. I'm gonna throw the box away, that's dangerous. And they're, no, no, we won't do it. Anyway, Lou goes out for a dogma'l this morning. box, the eldest ones, done the wand, hit my four-year-old in the cheek about a centimeter away from her eye and cut her cheek.

It could have been really dangerous. It nearly got her in the eyeball. So it cut her cheek. Oh my God. So I come down and I just had to properly bollock them because they've been told once. Yeah. That is incredible, Rob. it luckily grazed the cheek but it cut her cheek a little bit so she's gonna go to school tomorrow for her first day looking like she's been firing

and not looking she has been she's been doing magic that's gone wrong but maybe that you know like when you go into like a prison and you want to look hard like maybe that's quite a good thing she'll own the yard Rob do you reckon she's gonna be alone wolf the the flow of sweet in a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to to to to to to the to the the the to the to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theyr theyrooooooooooo theyr theyrooo think everyone will have to kind of bow at her feet. Like she'll be controlling the whole thing, the flow of sweets in and out of the yard, all that kind of stuff. I think I'm gonna say it.

I'd be bad in prison, Rob. I might just, do you know what? I might just get involved and be the bitch and try and into it. But, set my markers down. Look, I'm happy to be your prison bitch, but I'm just doing blow jobs. And I'll be good at them. Rather than joining a gang or getting involved, I'm just going to look, I'm here, just line them up, I'll go to town. And that's how I'm going to get by in this place. I'd say, that would probably be my approach. Jjo thjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjah. I the last. I'd their their their their tho. I'd be tho. I'd tho. I'd tho. I'd tho. I'm just just just just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just just just just just. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho, I'm just. tho, I'm just just just just just just just just. tho, I'm just just just just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just be my approach because I don't really, I don't, you know, join in the neo-Nazis would be the last result. Yeah, I think so. I think blowdrops first.

But yeah, I'd rather suck a cock than be a Nazi. Yeah, you've got that t-shirt, haven't you? Yeah, that's my new t-shirt range. It's not selling as well as you thought I was a shame because I thought you're going to get it into John Lewis but they weren't actually as interested did you know? I'm looking I'm looking at TK Max for comic relief. Yeah yeah yeah it's a bit of a tangent and do it that way but yeah I think I've gone on a bit of a tangent here. I could really do without going to that to go to their. It's. It's. It's. I. I. I. I. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their to their their to their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the try. try. thea. try. thea. try. thea. try. toda. to to to thea. to to the to the. I the. the dock because I, you know what happens, life can come at you, you might do something a bit silly or have a moment of madness or... You might be framed. You might be framed and you just sat in the, I'd just be sat in the dock and they go right, you're going to prison for three years.

I'm like, yeah, come a today, wrote little bunk mates doing the podcast. Oh my God. Dricken then let us do the podcast if you've got to put away together. Um, well we could bring back the lockdown, can we? Yeah, in the title. Get up too much last week. You know, I spoke to our kids on the phone for five minutes and apart from that's been lockdown.

Lock down the same podcast. Oh dear there's been a lot of blow jobs with the first 10 minutes of this podcast. I managed to get another GCSE. Yeah so yeah so I had to bollock um what else have been. How do they take the bollocking and then next question yeah how did you segway back to normality? Right so I basically told them off but I told them both off because she.......... the... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'd. I. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the same. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh... Oh.............. So........ So... So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. the. the. the off, but I told them both off because she'd got in the box voluntarily. So even though one was her, it wasn't really one's full. I just said you can't do that, look what's happened. And what's annoying be most is,

mom said you couldn't do that, and we let you have the box. She could have lost her eye. If if if if if if if if if if if if if if the box, the box, and the box, and the box, and the box, and the box, and we the box, and we's, and we's, the box, and we's, the box, the box, and we's, the the the the the the the the the th. the the the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. tho, thi, thi, tho, thoomo, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, threat. thooooooooo th th th th th tho th th me to hire. So I'm taking the box, you're not allowed the box anymore. And you've got to realize that there's a reason why we tell you can't do things. We're not just being boring and being boring adults, there's a reason. Yeah. And because I'm a bit laughing joking. We are being boring. But I'm being a bit boring. But I'm being a boring. A bit boring. But I'm being a safety. We the safety. We the safety. But we we we. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. I. I's. I'm being being being being being being being a safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. I's being being being being a safety. I the safety. We're being being being being a safety. We're being a safety. I the safety. We're being a safety. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. But safety. I. I. I. I. I. I'm a safety. I'm a safety. I'm a safety. I'm a safety. I'm a the. I'm a the. I'm a the. I'm a the. I'm a the. I'm a the. I'm a the. I'm a the. I'm a the'm quite silly with them but I just didn't and I went upstairs and I could tell that they they knew and then I gave the one with a sore eye a bit of ice and then when Lou came in I told Lou on the phone but I said don't come in and bollock them again I've bollocked them you go in and sort of be the firm the firm explainer yeah. Yeah. Was it's a centimeter above and genuinely I think she would have severely damaged her eye. So my God. That is stressful.

It's horrible. That is grim. And it's weird though because they get to that age we think well they're all right because they're quite sensible and they're quite clever when they get to that six and four like no dad. And they couldn't you know like. But actually they? They're full. Yeah, because my daughter literally just came down, she's trying to give a bath to her teddy, doesn't need it.

So straight away, you know, going, yeah, that's mental. This is this is totally, this is a waste of your morning. Well exactly, because now I'll be drying it. But she came down with a cardboard box. Come on, mate. Come on. And then they cry that they can't do it. Yeah. Like, we're the problem, not the cardboard box. All I'm doing is trying to find practical solutions to your problems here, mate. She's just like the problem of the mate. You're a fucking idiot.

If I say, if I say mate, she hates it. And I've realized it's because I always say it when I'm trying to like explain something that she doesn't like. Right and you're still trying to keep her on board? Yeah I think it's just what I say when I'm being a dick. You are terrible at confrontation. I'm so bad. You're not even terrible you just completely avoid it all costs however with children you have to do it at certain points. Oh, I lost it last night completely. And afterwards I just felt I hated myself for, because I don't lose it really with her. No. Never. So how did you lose it? So giving her a shower,

I just had a very long weekend, Rob, which we'll come to, do you know what, let's stay on the light topics and then we'll come to her at as a little treat at the end for the listener. So we're going to finish on the dark stuff? I feel it's too early. I've just sucked up a Nazi for safety. Oh, mate, that would have been better than my weekend. As a listener, we can't talk about what I do to survive in prison and go but don't worry it's gonna get a bit darker later. What do they think's gonna cut? Well look what you can tell you what I can carry on you can tell me.

No all right let's not darker but more real more real just tell us you more real and then I can come back and we teach him how to ride a bike. Oh yeah well I'll give I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the last I the last I the last I the last I the last I the last I'll the last I'll the last I'll the last. I'll the last. I'll the last. I'll the last. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th about to ride a bike. Oh yeah, well I'll give you some highlights of my week. So it was the last day of nursery on Friday. Okay, I did a little graduation, is that right? Yeah, a little picture of her in a graduation ground. Yeah. I was at last leg because I didn't get to do the final pickup. final drop-off and obviously it's quite a weird experience because you've been going somewhere for four years. Yeah. And you're like this is the last time I'll

go and I was almost like expecting it to be more of an emotional impact if you know what I mean? Does that make sense? Yeah and at the end of the day after about three minutes you're still going like I've got to go now you've got to just leave you? You know how it went about? Do the the the the th, does? Does? Does? And th th th th th th you? And th you? And th you? And th you? And th you? And th you th you th you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin' thin' tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi. And you're thi. And you're thi thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. And th. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi? Yeah, thi? Yeah, thi's thi's thi. And thi's thi's thi's thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi. after about three minutes, you're still going, like, I've got to go now. You've got to, I've got to just leave you, you know, how it's a bad- So what would you do lingering? No, you know when a drop-offs going badly? And you're like, oh, was she upset?

She's like, I don't a magical, go in and skip in and say goodbye. No, I'm not going to cry it, make some fucking annoyed. Get into the bloody nursery. I've got to get back to the house so I can have a shower before I go to the last leg. You are costing me a shower. I've been waiting four years for this moment. And you've got nothing apart from just the same old dropper? drop off. Same old drop, because she doesn't care. She doesn't care. She's not thinking this is a big moment. Yeah. But I also think it doesn't feel real. I really don't believe, my daughter goes to school on Wednesday. Yeah. The

reason I wasn't that impacted by it was it didn't feel, like when I woke up this morning, I still thought she was going to go to nursery this morning. Yeah. So I haven't made my piece I th this this this this this th. I this this th. I this this th. I this th. I this th. I this th. th. this th. th. this this th. th. tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi this thi this thi thi thi thi thi thi this is this is this is this is thoe. I this is this is th. I th. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi theeeeeeee. I thi theeee. I thi thi thee. I thi thi thi thi thi thi to go to nursery this morning. Yeah. So I haven't made my piece with it all, not made my piece, I haven't processed that this is happening. The argument is there's nothing to process really. Yeah. It's just a body in another building. Yeah, exactly. You know when Rodney gets married and only fools and horses? Yeah. And then he mistakenly goes back to Dale's house the next day after work. That's how I feel. I don't feel like anything's changed. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express.

Terms and conditions apply. Visit MX.a. Business platinum. Well, true. When she goes in, I find it's th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I then, I th thi, I th th th th th thi, I plan. Well, true, but when she goes in, I find it's always harder for the parent than the kid, some kids obviously find it difficult going in, but it's like, it's more your own, you know, you're accepting that they're grown up now really. And obviously there's a long way to go over it and if you you know people like to have more control over their lives and what's going on because it makes it easier for them because if like they've got a hand in it it sort of was that loss of control isn't it? Yeah. So how you feel about going in you subconsciously anxious? Fine totally fine.

I genuinely I'm really looking she goes she starts school and my son starts nursery yeah on the he's got a week settling in Rob the week settling in week WEEK not week as in no but like so what he goes in for a whole week no so it's like a week long process I'd forgotten about this so day one he goes in for an hour right and then day two goes in for an hour without either of us okay and then day three he's still quite young isn't it so like it's it's the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's like he's like he the he he he he he he he he he he he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's th he's th he's th he's th he th he's th he's th he's th he's th he's th he's th he's th he's th he's th he's th he's th he's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Right. And then day two he goes in for an hour without either of us. Okay. And then day three, it's still quite he's quite young isn't it? It's sort of like it's not pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. And so you're like this whole, the whole process lasts a week. I tell you what a week. Like that is a long time. So what you would rather just drop him off and go? In my head he was starting nursery in 48 hours. He's not.

He's going in for an hour, which is less convenient than if he wasn't going in at all. Yeah, but long term it'll be convenient. Oh, I totally understand it. I just forgot if he exists. I was like, isn't the point of the nursery that we're handing him off so I can have a bit of a break? Can Rose be in charge of that this week? Yeah, she is, but we've also got to drop my daughter. So, because he's going to nursery next to when my daughter's going to school.

Yes. There's some days where it's like, drop her off. 930. That's so late. I don't take tak, tak, tak, tak, t, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolk, thoes. th. Can't thi. thoes. thoes. Can't thoes. Can't thoes. Can't thoes. Can't, can't, can't, can't. Can't. Can't. Can't. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can't. Can't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thaa. Well, thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Can't, tha. Can't tha. Can't, can't. Can't.30, drop him off. That's so late, 930. I don't get why that's so late. Well, that's all right. Take that. Oh yeah, fair enough. But it's just late.

I don't know if I'm in the wrong year. Are we going to put a call out for school? Is that a thing we do on this? I don't know. Has it come to that that already come that already that already that already that already that already that already that already that already that already that already that already that already to come that already to come that already this Rob. One of my friends send their kid to school. It finishes at two on a Friday. Two on a Friday. What the fucking- Now.

Fucking on a Friday? To be fair, the teachers have only had six weeks off. Do you don't put them through it on a Friday as well. That's the end of lunch. that's making you them of an adult's lunch. Anyway, so I'm delighted about that, obviously. So that's making you feel better, sure. Yeah, because she finishes a bit later, doesn't she? Four. So 930, so 930, and in what time, when's a nursery time? Well, when he's doing an hour, we've got to drop her off at 930, drop him off at 12, pick one pick out up at four. Shuttle runs. Yeah. I saw the 7th of September as Freedom Day. It's worse. I mean, yeah, I think you're, like, because your nursery, it is different because

if your kid goes to a nursery, like if you work in 9 to 5, they are there 9 to 5, but when they go to school, they're not. You have to pay for the sort of extra wraparound care before or after don't you? Yeah but the good news is Rob yeah September the 14th is Freedom Day now I'm just that's when he goes to nursery yeah for two days a week but you know you've got those two days today the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to. to. to. to. to. today to. today today their their their their their their their their their their the he's a lovely little guy, but fuck it now. Can I need to say that right so there you go that's your episode title? Right there. So our friends have got a 15 month year old? How old are you boy now? Yeah that. And Lou went so, so they've got like a seven year old, an eight year old and a 15 month year old. And, obviously we've got a four and six year old and Lou. They they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're I they're I they're I I I don't I'll they're I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I can I'll I can I I I can I I I can I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. so they've got like a seven year old, an eight year old and a 15 month year old and obviously we've got a four and six year old and Lou they were supposed to come around

a house a mess so he said oh why don't we go to the soft play because there's a big soft play and then there's a one for the little kids and the older ones big enough to run around on their own. And Lou has had children recently, that'll be good because it'll keep the 15 month-year-old in that place. No, the 15-month-old just goes everywhere. It's like one of them sort of robot hoovers. It just bounces around. And then they came back to ours and I was like, yeah, can't be that bad, there's two of you there there with the, and they..... And, and their, and their, and th. And, and tho, and tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, tho, their their, there, there, there, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. It's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, there, there.... And, there, tho.. And, tho.. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, thee. It. It's thee. It's thee. It's thee. It's thee. It's thee. thee. their. their. their. their. theea. their. their. their. their. their. their. the Because they just wander, they just wander to death and you just follow them around of a hunchback. Yeah, exactly.

Like, until they go asleep. You're like, fucking Mrs. Doyle walking around after them. Like, like, hunch, it's awful. Like, because I can't, all I seem to say is no. No, mate. No, mate. Like, maybe. I don't know like how you child-proof your house unless you lived in the fucking fun house.

Because like, there's no, like, there's nothing that isn't a problem at the moment. There's the, you got another energy title. Another episode title, fucking hell, an energy title. There's a, there's a bit of a Freudian slip of what else you're worried about. Jesus we're in your, in your Victorian bill, your big breezy windows. Oh my. Oh God. Yeah, so I, I felt you're paying because I, it transported me back to that age and it is brutal. They don't want to be held, they kick and screen, they're climbing on everything, falling off everything, too young to know they can't do it, too young for an iPad, too young

to be bribed. Also, because they've got a younger sibling, oh, sorry got an older sibling. Yeah. He's being shown things that she can do that he then has a go of that when it was just her she didn't know that was a concept. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So he's seeing her climb stuff and you're like he'll then do it but she didn't know that that was feasible. That's classic second child syndrome they're just a bit more fearless. Yeah, he's he's the opposite of what I was like as a child Rob. I'm not sure he's mine. Where's the fear? I've just got the vision of this happy, gloriously smiling little boy who you hurrying around him. He's having a brilliant time. He's got a great life.

He's got an absolutely superb life. We actually bought like a little pen for him, maybe not at that age of 15 months because I can climb over it, but when they were like just sort of crawling around, it was like a UFC pen that Lou would put them in if I was out of work and she needed to like answer the door or make a cup of tea just to contain them for them. Well, we've put the gates on the kitchen. the gates. Well, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, the the gates, the gates, the th. th. their, th. their, th. their, th. their, their, th. So, their, their, their, their, their, the, th. So, th. So, their, th. So, th. So, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the, the, the, the, the, the. So, toge. So, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, the, the, the. So, the, the, the gates on the kitchen now, but obviously because he knows that they didn't use to exist, it's like we've imprisoned him. So the best time you get obviously is when he's in the high chair, so you give him some food. That's when you can actually unload the dishwasher or whatever. Oh, God, the lovely stuff. Yeah.

Oh, yes, he's in the high chair. I can do the dishwasher, turn around, look at the high chair, he's stood up in the high chair. Can you imagine? Clip himself? Yeah, the fear, seeing him stood up, all I've done now is put him on the highest platform possible. You've just made wherever he falls more dangerous. Yeah, exactly. And as you weaning, is he eating stuff? Oh yeah no worries there mate. He's eating fucking everything. Is he different to your daughter is very calm and very chilled? Is he different to her then personality wise? Yeah. Yeah. It's like if you imagine siblings, imagine Liam Gallagher, yep. And the Dalai Lama? The Dalai Lama?

So Liam Gallagher and you've got Liam Galagher and the Dalai Lama in your house. No, she's not, she's not, that's giving her too much, too much credit. I mean she does wear an orange toga to school. She does, yeah, she's got a lot of followers. No, so it's... Ball-dead little glasses. Lovely little lady. Lovely little lady. That feels a bit unfair on that outfit you've got for your first day of school. It's sort of really making a stand out. Oh dear, well, I can just say I can feel your pain because that is a brutal age. And even I forgot about that, and it was only, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, thi, I, to, to, to, to, to thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thrown, thrown, to, thrown, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, only two years ago. I think I sort of forget about it like someone who's sort of seen some things. Yeah. You know someone's been in a war or in prison, they sort of just don't talk about it.

And then they get a flashback during a film or something and it sends them loopy. Do you know what I've thought about the other day? When we're going to get it's going to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get out to to get out out to to get out out out out out out out to get out, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm going to get, I, I'm going to get, I, I'm to get, I, I, I, I'm to, I, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get a to to to to to to to the the the the the their the their their the the the.a, the the the thea, the the the thean, the the thi.a, thi. thi, thi, thi, think about that too much. I remember the discussions of whether two was going to be much more difficult than one and now I just just want to laugh in the face of myself from from two years ago. I think we're gonna repeat that every two years. What do you mean? I've got them stabbing each over in the art. Well we keep going it'll get easier it doesn't? That's what we're learning. Oh fuck. Fuck th th th th th th th th th the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their they. I they. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they're they. I they're they're they're they're they. I they. I th. I th. I th. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll the. I'll we're learning. Oh fuck, fuck. So as soon as they calm down and they're not running around like this then you've got to deal with their emotion emotionally. Yeah. I always go I'll take that

like the next section like when he wouldn't be put down and he couldn't move and you needed to constantly be holding him I was like I can't wait till he can just move around and I'll be so much more happy. But you know the worst thing is if you go anywhere, I remember I was on holiday in Portugal and then my daughter was 50, they could they could walk at nine months, my kids nine and 10 months, they walked and they were right, she was about a year old and she was running up and down this inflatable slide, and like launching herself off it. And she was running up and down this inflatable slide non-stop and like launching herself off it and I was trying to catch it, right? And she was 12 months. And his other bloke was stood next to his 15 month old that weren't walking yet, just sat on the floor cross legs playing with one ball from a ball pit.

And I'm catching my daughter launching herself with this slide. He goes, oh, mad, isn't it? They're crazy. I was like, pardon? Your little fucking Buddha sat there doing fuck all? How dare you? How dare you talk to me about how difficult it is? And then I try and convince myself is because mine's got loads of energy and really got a good spa. But actually, my ones are just sort of probably got ADHD like me.

But yeah, it's, I think we are facing, we're looking down the barrel of every two years ago. Yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. How, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. ta, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, how ta. try, how try, how try, how try, how try, how ta, how, how t barrel of every two years going I thought this would be easier but it's not yeah yeah it's a weird one isn't it yeah it is a weird one but give me some more funny stories from your life to cheer me up okay so teach them to ride a bike forgot to do that in the summer that that was my job so oh my oh my I panicked I think that's sort of about the time I mean I don't think she's late to learn but I think it's about time now and I didn't and also it's dry and warm you don't want to be teaching a kid in the rain in December when it's freezing cold in the dark yeah so I thought the summer would have been a good time to do it I forgot anyway so I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I tho to to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the four-year-old wants to learn as well.

So Lou took the dog. I, for an hour, did shuttle runs up and down the park on the path. They will sweat dripping off my nose. Oh, I bet that was. And you're doing that thing where you hold the bike, there's no stabilizers on it, and you kind of push the bike and then give him a little start and then they get going. So the issue I've got is the eldest has got the technique but not but too much fear. So she's pedaling perfectly and straight and then as soon as I let go of the seat and she's off she breaks. Right. She just stops and I'm like no you can do it and I'm you know and then oh god. But I keep every time and I'm like, you know, do you know what happened there?

You were going but you start and like that and it's like, but it's all meant, I feel like I'm a boxing corner man. You know, you're like, and then I'm going, it's just you, you can do this. And then it's weird though, because the oldest one is quite a bit more nervous, but when it becomes a competition, she's a competition. the competition, the competition, the competition, the competition, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, but you're thin, but you're, but you're, but you're, but you're, but you, but you, th, th, th, th, th, th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th, th, you th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, you're they, you're they's, you're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's, they's they, you're thin, you're thin, why can that kid do it, not me? I'm like, forget about him. Because it was a younger kid on the bike, and I fucking hate to see the young kid that can ride a bike. I just want to boot them and the parent. Fuck off you and you're little three-year-old that can ride a bike. Which, that's bad, that's my problem. Yeah, well done, it's not. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's not great. It's a great. It's a great. It's a great. It's a great. It's a great. It's a the the the the the the young. It's a the young. It's a the young. It's a the young. It's a the young. It's a the young. It's a the young. It's a the young. It's a the young. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theat-a. theat-a. theat-a'k. theat-k. I that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's a there on your own. I think if you're under five and you're riding a bike you need to do it privately. Yeah I don't think you should

be doing that in public you're right. That should be a keep that behind closed doors. Well they should have a special park. You know for kids that are going to be jocks basically. Yeah those guys. And then there was an older kid is about nine doing it and throw. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that should that should that should that should that should that should that should that should that should that should that's that's that should that's that's that should that's that's that's that's. Keep that's. Keep that's. Keep that. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep that. Keep that. Keep that's. Keep that's. Keep that's. Keep that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. Keep that. Keep that's that. Keep that's that's that stop and let him go past or do you I went or do you want to show him what you can do she went I want to show him what I can do? Oh there you did it perfectly. Wow and was this your first attempt? So they've been on the stabilizers on the bike sort of in the garden on a tiny little path and I try I try to do it with him on a proper the first on the first on a proper the first on a proper on a proper the first first on a proper on a proper on a proper the first first on a proper the the the the the first first first the the the the the the the the grope I'm on a proper the the the the the the to do on to to do on the grape I'm to to to to to to to do on to do on to do on to do on to do on to do on to do on to do on to to to do on the their I their I can can can't their I'm their I'm to do on to do on to do on the the first I'm the first I'm the first I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try I toooo I too I too I too I too I can't too I can't too I can't too I can't I think I need to go somewhere that's a bit of a slope because she needs some help getting her speed up a bit. Right, yeah, yeah. And then if she's not pedaling as much, she sort of comes to a bit of a gradual stop at the bottom, so there's another park I'm going to try because this one was purely flat. So she's got it but just not really got that confidence. The youngest, the thapapapapapapap. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi. thi's the thi. thi's not thi. She's not thi. She's not thi. She's thi. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's th. She's th. She's not th. She's not th. She's not th. She's not th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's the th. She's thi. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's theeeeeeateateateateateateateateateateateateateeateateateate. She's not theateee. She's not th speed she's peddling. Absolutely flying. She's the one she's just a legs are just going like the clappers she's all over the place, don't know how to break, loves it, cackles, nearly launches herself over the handlebars every time.

I'm tripping over, it's absolute carnage. So I'm switching so I'm switching between the two different... What's the other one doing when you're doing one, just just just, what I??????...................... the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, the, their, their, their, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, they...... their.a.a... they.a. their... their.. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the between the two different... And what's the other one doing when you're doing what I'm just watching? Yeah, just watching, but Lou was there walking the dog so they were with the dog a bit. But then as soon as I finished one, my go, my go, my go, and I'm like, and then my back, I'm basically for an hour ran like I'm going to try it again with them. I think this weekend or after school I'm going to see when I've got time when I'm not working. But yes, it's hard work but we're getting there. You've got to do it. Have you had any falling-offs?

A couple, but nothing major. They've got helmets on. I just go get up off you go let's go again and because otherwise you know they're not really a but you don't go. Whoa! That was a big one. Oh that was a big one. Oh that's gonna keep your back straight stop leaning because you're full you fucking idiot but you can't because they don't like that. It's a bit like trying to teach a nan to use an iPad. You just want to smack him over the head the head the head their their their to to use an iPad? You just want to smack him over the head with it? I couldn't be like

a teacher, like being like a driving instructor or something like like glenoddle. I'm bad at teaching people who aren't good at something. That's Glenoddle. Yeah, exactly. I'm very much like Glenn Hoddle. Just do that and then like Steve Stone's looking at him going, come on mate just run down and ring fast I hope for the best get a corner yeah yeah exactly I I just I don't know I just can't I haven't got the patience and what else you've been able to Rob oh I looked to you know you know me I love on holiday yeah we were looking at holidays for next year we're try to look to book early for next year yeah and we look for half term which is always the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I I I I I I I th. I I I I I I I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm just just just just just just just just th. I'm just the. I'm just the. I'm just the. I'm just try. I'm just the. I the. I don't the. I'm just just the. I'm just for next year. Yeah. And we look for half-term, which is always more expensive, isn't it? Yeah.

But we book, we're looking, just like just random airport in Greece to go to this hotel. Guess how much we've got quoted for four economy flights to Greece in half-term on BA? It should be 200 quid each, isn't it? I'd sort of go, a 100 quid each maybe yeah that kind of thing 7.5 grand what I know what what? What? Because I think what's happening is there's not they're not putting on more flights like they normally do. Well let's start a fucking airline. Parenting in hell air yeah. I think that's what I think that's what I think I imagine getting on that flight. That'd be absolutely awful.

Everyone's talking about their feelings. I'm trying to go on holiday here, can you fucking cheer up you lot? Yes it is hard, but it's my only week off. I've paid 7,400 for these cheaper flights on this airline. Yes I think, but apparently the travel agent said wait for easy jet to announce their flights because then they will be cheaper and then it forces them to put on more. So I think what they're doing is they're so desperate for money, they're just putting a mental figure.

Seven and a half grand per person. It's to go Greece. I must have got I don't is is is is th. I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't tho tho. I don't tho. I tho. I tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tha. tha. tha. To panic, so that's two grand per person, basically. It's a good. I must have got, I don't know if I got that wrong. That's what Lou told me. And the worst thing, Rob, you won't even enjoy that flight. No. Absolutely not. It's a worst bit of the holiday.

Are you sure? You sure it's not because. Maybe, God knows, but we're not going anyway. They've heard where you're going on holiday. No. We're absolutely going to do this guy. Beckett, Beckett's on the blacklist. Yeah. Now, what else would be, oh, we went to, oh, so Josh went to see Louis Capaldi on Friday, date night for me and Lou. I saw the pictures.

I saw tattoo. What? Sorry. So I got back, we got invited backstage and I was pissed. And they were, because this tours were going for four years, all the crew were getting the, you know, colors have got a number? Every color has got a number? It's called some sort of graph code or whatever. Anyway, they were getting the color of red of what's on Lewis Capaldi's album that the tour, was pissed I'll have one and they was like okay come down here and then they all like frog marched me to a tattooist. Oh my gosh. Was there a backstage tattooist?

Yeah and I was pissed and showing off so I nearly did it and she went I was pissed and I was sorry there's a cue there there's two more people I've got to do them first. I was like oh never mind I'm. their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. Oh they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they was. Oh. Oh. Oh was. Oh was. Oh was they was they was they was they was they was they was they was they was they was they was they were were were were were. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I was. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, was a. Oh, was a they were were were were they were they were were they were were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were. He had a little witnessed this. Yeah, Lou was sober. She was driving and she was like, what are you doing? I was like, I think I'm drunk and I'm showing off. But luckily I managed to swerve it, but I was like, it would have been a tragic tato. But it would have been a tragic tato. It would have been all tattoo. Oh my God. Some sort of weird fans. But anyway, gig was really good. Went in the O2, and I've not gig for a little bit.

I'm getting back into giging now because I've got my tour shows. And I was in the O2 Josh and I found myself. Luzer Kapoda is amazing. It's really good. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's good. I's really. I's really. I's really good. I's really good. I's really good good. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Gg thi. Gg thi. Gg thi. G thi. G thi. G thi. Gg thi. Gg thi. Gg thi. Gg thed. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. G's really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. way, at the crowd. Did you? Going like, oh, I want this to be me. Well, Rob, I've got some bad news for you. What's that? In April, it will be. Well, that's what I thought. I was like, this is going to be great. And do you know what? It's small. It's smaller in the, it's smaller in real life than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than thi than than than thi thi thin than than than than than than than than than th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go into the O2 and I've not played the O2 for ages. But when I was in there, I was like, this is fine.

We can do this. Because I was telling the kids about this. My daughter was really scared about going to the dentist. And we went there and they saw me going to went to the vet and the vet, the vet, to the dentist. I'm going to be bothered to do it. People can do themselves. Yeah, they, you know, they spray the air on your teeth. I don't know why, just for a laugh I imagine, that little, that little, sh-ch. Yeah. Do you get that? And then, they're not worried. Put it up. their it on, you, you, you, their their their their their the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to their. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They spray. They spray. They. They spray. They spray. They. They. They. They spray. They. They. They spray. They spray. They spray. They spray. They spray. They spray. They spray. They spray. They spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray. They're spray they're spray they're spray they're spray the s spray they're spray they're spray they're spray was like cackling, massive tongue. Getting in the bloody teeth. She was like a lame they're going, ha ha ha ha ha with a tongue like shamboo, like a big killer whale tongue. The oldest one was like, oh, I'm not sure about this, like arched back. And then I was saying to us, so that, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so that, so, so, so, so, like, so, so, so, so, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. the. the. the. the you. Stop listening to your brain because all that you know

Because when you grow up and go use your brain brain, brainy, brain, people tell you the brain's Really helpful, isn't it to be brainy? Yeah, it's an absolute bastard at the end of the day It is and I think it is helpful, but sometimes your gut is just as good and the brain can overcomplicate things and make things feel feel th brain's trying to keep you safe, isn't it? It's like, oh, don't do that. So I was trying to say, look, it's always worse in your brain than in reality. And that's what it's like when I mean in the O2, I was like leaving nursery. But yeah, but it's going to be really good fun I think. Did Lewis Capaldi do any parenting chat? Did he see how that played in such a big room? He's got panty on anecdotes about his bins or his mental health? No, but he did do a lot of funny patter that well. Yeah, really good we've got. That's good. That's good. He did also he did also belt out some of some the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest the biggest. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. He's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. Hea. Hea. Hea. He did hea. He did hea. He did he did he did he did he did hea. He did that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the voice of a generation well well should we rule that out Rob should we rule

that out why not or just get him in to do a song exactly has he got kids no no it's 25 25 25 I say what was interesting though as well is like because I've had loads of time off and I've done lots of therapy like since lockdown sort of calm my brain down and I've become less needy believe it or not and I was worried at one point going oh maybe I don't need stand up and I was doing that just sort of fill a void of like attention affirmation but actually no no is I do love doing it but as long as you're doing it and you've got yourself worth before and after and the gig's just a fun thin do in the middle. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's the equivalent of go-kine's fun, but if every time you come off you're like,

yes I won! It's a bit like... If you think I only feel myself when I'm in a go-cart, then that's the problem. Do you know now I'm not worrying about it the whole time and what was really interesting was that there's a lyric in the Louis Capaldi song that one I wish I was good enough that lyric I want to comment what song it's from and it's so weird because when I first started hearing that song when I was in a midst of a bit what you're in now have been now now now now now now now now now nowtoo much my kids were similar ages and it was just like a constant treadmill and I remember listening that lyric and I wish I was good enough and I actually when I heard it then I really felt I wasn't good enough and I really to thrown.

I really felt I wasn't good enough and I really wish I was and it's so interesting to go to that gig with Lou and hear that lyric, but process it in a totally different way. Because my brain's totally been rewired now. It was so rewired of, you are rubbish, you are shit. So like, no, you are good enough. And it was so, a bit emotional as well of listening to that, going, that doesn't mean anything to me me me me me me me me me me meant to me to something because I was processing information in the wrong

way and it was quite nice because it was the first time I've sort of there's been a physical or emotive thing that it signifies a definitive change in my mindset. Well it's like listening to a song that you associated that you listened to a lot when you're going through a break up or something and then hearing it a th, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeee. theee. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, that you listened to a lot when you're going through a break-up or something, and then hearing it a few years later and going, oh, I'm fine with that song now, do you know what I mean? Yes, exactly, but at the time you never thought you would be. Yeah, you're like, oh my God, if I put on Ryan Adams' cover of Wonder Wall again, then their heart's going to to explode, my heart's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I and go, oh, I'm not good enough, I'm a load of shit. So if I was in the same mindset, I'd have been sat at that kid going, oh, I should be at my kids rather than here than here, enjoy myself. Because we also had to

drop the girls off at my sister-in-laws for a sleepover and they'd never had upset and wanted to come home. She was clinging on to me going, please don't leave me, Daddy. And I was like, oh my God. And in the end, I left it of going, look, it's still daylight. Mommy and Daddy are going to see Louis Capaldi. If you really don't want to stay over, I'll come and get you after the gig and pick you up late. because I thi I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I'm I'm I'm I can't I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm the the the she was a bit hangry, she was a bit tired. It was all a bit new and she was a bit overwhelmed.

And what I found was difficult. I used to hate staying out away from home. I used to hate staying over at friends. It used to really make me scared and stressed. And I had, I started thinking of myself as a child, the child. So I'm now as an adult making decisions to go, just bring her home, just bring her home. But no, because it was better to leave her and allow it to calm down. Because if you sort of scoop your kid up and risk him

every time they're upset or a bit overwhelmed, then they don't learn how to deal with that. Totally. And also that scars the event. It means that that's associated that event, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, but, but, not, not, but, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, that, that, that, that, if, if, if, if, if, if, if you, if you, if, if, if, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they.. they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the home and her sister stayed the night and had a brilliant time she feels like oh but then in the morning I was like well done you stayed you stayed you said yes I did and she felt good about herself but it's difficult to parents and have I to watch them do that and the truth is you don't really know if it's the the the the the the the the the gig going, have I done the right thing with her? Have I left it? And the truth is you don't really know if it's the right thing or not.

You just hope you've made the right decision and then you find out. You can't second guess it. But for me, I just found it interesting. That's interesting. I've just found out. in my brain but it's it's so difficult especially when the kid staring at you to make the right decision but but yeah the gig was good though Lou enjoyed it just to drive home I I genuinely I'd love to be in that position one day Rob because obviously I'm listening to the Macarena a lot of the

moment and one day I'll be one day I'll go and see Los Lobos life and I'llthis, you know what? This song doesn't mean what he used to do to me. This used to be my crutch. I couldn't get through the Macarena about tearing up, but now, he's front row doing the moves. He's on stage with what they called Los Lobos? Is it Lost Lobos? How do you know they made that?

I don't, is that right? Lost Lobos. Uh, no, he's not Lost Lobos. That's what I've got to Josh. No, they're Labamba. Oh, I fucked it up. Labanobo. Oh, it's so close.

Who did the Rio! Oh! So Los Lobos did Labamba and Lost Del Rio. Was it? The worst thing, Rob, is in two years' time, I'll go, do you know what? I feel better now, and I've managed to get tickets to see Lost Lobos. And I've stood there for the whole fucking gig going, why don't they going to drop the macarain up? me always doing it wrong. I can't get anything right. I wish I was good enough. Oh my god.

Right, should we do some correspondence and small business and shout-outs? My daughter's going to school tomorrow for the first day, so I'll try and talk about that next week. How are you feeling about it? Really excited actually, like for her, she's really excited to go, she needs it. She's a bit of a big fish in a small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small. She's a small. I to to go. I to go. I to go. I'm a to to to. I'm a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I.'s really excited to go she needs it she's a bit of a big fish in a small pond at the moment like so I think she needs other kids her age she said she's a bit scared she was I'm scared I've got I don't know how to read and write but I'm like that's what you're going there for yeah if you knew it would be weird yeah exactly yeah so yeah so yeah so I think she'll the today thin the to to to be to be to be the the to be to be the the to be the to be the to be the the the the the the the the the the the they I I I I they I'm they I'm they I'm they I'm they. they. I'm they. they. I'm they. I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm the same I'm the same I'm the same I'm the same I'm the same I'm the same I'm the same I'm the same I'm the same I's the same I's the same I's the same I's the same I's the same I's the same I's the same I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee E C. they. they. they. they. the the 'll be okay. I think it's going to be harder for me and Lou than her because it's the real underlining we have no babies anymore, we haven't got the top, we have got two daughters that are at school. And two, one thing is that like, you know, we don't want any more kids, but they are cute when they're little to a point, not all the time when they're running around so it's a bit like that's when I think people start going do we have another one do we not what we doing

are we definitely done but I think it's going to be a bit of a line in the sand for us I think it's a line in the sand for us of like oh my god and also I've been threatening to get a six pack yeah yeah I'm gonna get a six they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're th th they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they I think you should get a six pack and a tattoo. I think you could get a six. It won't be long, Rob. I don't think I could. I think I'll just go, I think I'll just look bulky. I don't think I can shred. Do you not think you can shred?

Do you know what someone went to me you look a lot musselier in real life. Oh wow. You know what that really put a that really put a fucking finger up my ass that did that made me feel good. Yeah I bet it did. Right and should we do small bits of shout out? Yeah sorry we'll do loads of correspondence on Friday. We'll do some on Friday and then some next week because we haven't done any for ages. Yes Here we go I've got sushi whales sushi whales It's a pretty place in Wales No, it's sushi well if you want sushi and whales you need to go to sushi whales so do you to do soo shi wails too shiwa. So do you know what it's it rolls off the tongue. It's to???? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. bit like a rapper. Yeah, do you know what? It's quite, it rolls off the tongue doesn't it's sushi whales. Is that a new thing? You know people always go almost sounds like a bloody rock album for a weird one? Is this like the modern day sort of dad

da to say it sounds like a bloody rapper? Yeah MC sushi I'll be honest with you it sounds like a dad from about 1987. Let alone. Okay, here we go, Sushi Wales. It's a pre-ordered delivery service delivering fresh restaurant quality sushi to your jaw. We deliver from our restaurant in Cardiff valleys, Newport Valley, Swansea Valley, and Neath Valley.

We've only been operating for a couple of months, but be expanding further a field of time. We use a refrigerated van and created platters that remain fresh once leaving the restaurant so that we're able to deliver fresh sushi to people who would otherwise have to drive an hour or more to the nearest Japanese restaurant. We sell fish, vegan and gluten-free platters, all handmade by sushi chefs with years of experience. New customers can get 10% off their first order when signing up for a mailing list you can find us at sushi whales.com or at sushi whales on Instagram and Facebook that's Wales the country WALES. There we go. Hey Rob and Josh absolutely loving the podcast. It's accompanying me on many a drive a few sessions of acupuncture and one wisdom tooth removal. There's another writing.

What's the weirdest thing where you've thought I'll put on the podcast to get through this? Also acupuncture is really relaxing. You don't need to put on, anyway, neither him are there. I bet someone's had sex to this podcast. Have you had sex while? Like, if you were listening to the podcast. thinn't the you you you the podcast I think they'd stopped a rubber up after him what we've just said today wanted to share a small business shout out for my dad's company embarrassingly named hot ideas sounds like a rapper this is great. Oh, it's a good show. Dad is a proper mad inventor, including electric plate warmers.

The product that no one needs, but who wouldn't want it? This is an absolute slam from his daughter. Instead of putting plates in the oven, they warm the middle of your plates, keeping the edges cool so you can lift it. Perfect for keeping your Easter roast lamb or nut roast warm on the plate. We'll be hugely appreciate any push at all. You can find your very own plate warmer at hot ideas. Co., thr. to the tea towar. to the tea tale. Yeah, but I don't want to put him out of business. No. Hot ideas. I would absolutely love it. If put him out of business. No, hot ideas.

I would absolutely love it if that was the biggest small business shout-out peak that we ever saw. Hot ideas electrics, he's got loads of stuff on the go. It's all heat-based. These keys have got so many things. Platewarmers, round bread baskets. Electric proving tooom. He's not done a napkins. They can't have warm napkins. many things. Platewarmers, round bread baskets, electric proving basket coming soon. He's not done a... They can't have warm napkins. The rectangular bread baskets, aprons, lemonets, they can't be hot can they? I don't know. I think he's buying stuff.

The bottle bag for the champagne that can't be hot can it? Who wants hot champagne? I mean it's a hot idea, don't get me wrong. Yeah, it's a hot idea. The slippers! Oh, product coming soon. Pictures are being taken. Descriptions are being added. You won't regret if you come back. Absolutely incredible. I love this guy. These guys are brilliant.

Oh, you've got to get him on Dragon's Dead. Yeah. He needs 18 quid for a 10% share. Here it goes. He's got a cafeteria jackets. That's a jacket for a cavity air by the way, not a jacket with pictures of cappity airs on it. Some of this I think he buys wholesale and flogs but then hot ideas electric is his thing. Right yeah yeah yeah yeah so these are the plate warmer things. Heat plates in a sophisticated manner without the fear of cracks crazy not damage I like this guy I get to hot ideas God knows maybe 35 quid for a hot idea yeah cafeteria jackets who's dressing up their coffee we absolutely slamming here but it's great bit of

I love it trays there yeah there we've got all sorts his skeezer. He does do teetales as well. Hot Ideas.co. UK. It's even got a search function. He's got so many products. There's a search function. Blue and white check. He's got every color of apron you want mate. He's on it. Do you want a high apron? No, I'm all right. I think my I quite like a loophole. I'm thrown tap. A. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. thiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that-I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tr. tr. tr. tr. true. true. true. true. t. try. try. try. try. to my aprons. Picnic rugs.anyanyany, hot ideas.co. Get involved. All right, we'll see on Friday. Bye. See on Friday, bye.