Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP14: Kelly Convey

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian Kelly Convey. Please rate and review. Thanks, Rob + Josh. BIG NEWS.... we're writing a book!�� ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth. ⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents) ⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them...   [e-mail] What's it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)? And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick? Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike. Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here:  https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBook We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Visit continue.york you.CA. I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders, and 5% Uber cash back on rides, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Hello, you all listening to Parenting Hill with. Harry, can you say Rob B Bucket? Can you say Josh?

Yes? Widacom? Widacom? Widacom? Widdicum? Widicum's the problem for a lot of these kids. Oh, it's been a fucking bane of my life mate. From the moment I started as the last on the register up until Anne Widdicum becoming famous. And now the children can started as the last on the register up until Anne Whittakum becoming famous and now the children can't read the man. You've had a terrible run with Widdicum and she must have been peaking when you was at school. Yeah I reckon she was probably when I was a teenager wasn't she Ann Whitacum or yeah yeah that's a last thing because I remember when like I first met you and I immediately thought of Anne Widcom and then obviously she spells her name different to you.

Suppose it differently. There's a little E in the middle. I've told you she moved into the village I grew up in after I left. Yeah and called her house Widdickum's Retreat or something. My parents fucking livid. You've got to buy it. I may that to buy it. Yeah, maybe I will. How are you Rob? Yeah, I'm all good. I'm a loving life. I'm enjoying our interviews with people. We're doing more of them. Yeah, it's nice to go.

Got a good one today. Also, we've got a bit of a backlog of correspondence. So do you want, should we do some before our guest? Yeah. And then we were thinking next week much good stuff. Let's catch up on correspondence because we've not done it because we've been blabbered on about our kids over the summer holidays because we've been with them all the time. I find though when they're off so much I can't think of what to tell you on here because it's a bit yeah and it's overwhelming where actually when you pick them up from school or whatever you the time you're with them it sits in your head more, but, um, yeah, but, um, yeah, I'm tired, Josh. It's all right, it's all right. Do you want me to read out some correspondence?

Um, if you don't mind, do you mind reading out some correspondence? You put your feet up. I've highlighted something green that you like. Um, the good ones, some good ones to do first. Okay. If you want to do them, or you the their their their their their, or their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to read to read out, to to read out, to read out, to read out, to to to to to to to to to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. tho, tho. tho. tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tothem or you can just freestyle it. Yeah, that's fine. Things you were called into school for. Okay. Hi with Josh and Rob. When I was at primary school I'm now 47. My mom got a visit from the head dinner lady. Oh visit from the dinner lady. That's the way it is. I didn't know there was a hierarchy. She was concerned as she received a gift from me for Christmas, and when I'm wrapping it, realized it was a solid silver dish.

Upon questioning, I revealed that every year I'd wrap things up from around the home and give them to my dinner ladies, as they used to save me extra custard. Extra custard. I'm so lame. That's so sad. That's so sad. The dinner ladies are taking bunks. What did you, did you have school dinners? We had packed at primary and then at secondary I had school dinners but there were so many

kids at my secondary school you didn't have a one-on-one relationship with the dinner ladies. You just like come through. They'd call you my lover. Do they call you my lover? They would, yeah, they're a proper like Devon. Devin. Right through please, my lover! Right through please being like.

More accustomed, my lover? I think I can't do a better Devon accent than you. Yeah, well I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do accents. I can't do that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their th. their th. thrown. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. throoooooooooooo' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. is now? I don't know what my I don't think it's regionalized. Try and do your best Devon. Write through please my lover? That's pretty good actually. Yeah but that just called that? It's mist and rain they called it it's just because I was listening to Pirate FM doing a gig down there and that they said oh lots of mizzl coming in I was like what drizzle and it was missal I googled it and it's like a term they used for the weather down there where it's like wet mist yeah I like the misle. I like it makes me feel like

that that's nice misle. I enjoy that. Even thinking about that now it's relaxed me. What mizzle? A misty drizzle? Yeah it's commonly using Devon and Cornwall to describe a mixture of fine drizzle and thick saturated mist or fog. Although the mizzell might seem like a clever portmant to. What's that? That's two words combined. Right, okay. Combining Mr. Drizle, it likely derives from the low German, Mizzlin or Dutch word for Drizzle Maeslin. Oh, come on, it means mist and drizzle. We all know it means mist and drizzle.

Fucking get over yourself, book smart. I also, I thought Moorish was a place down in Devon not something you wanted more of. What you thought there was a place called Moorish? Well that is Moors isn't it? So it's like you know Cornish or Moorish so like the Moors that it's like that it's like something from that they make it down there and it's moreish the same way as it's like you know Yorkshire pudding is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more is more. This is more. this is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. This is more. this is more. this is more. that. that. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How that. How that. How that. How that. How that. How. How that. How is more. How. How that. How is more. How is more. How this is more. this is more. this is moreto the Southwest? You talk about it Rob, like I've come from fucking Middle Earth. It's three hours away. I used to keep thinking, bloody they're making some good... We don't live in America, like the whole island is drivable in one day. No, but I used to think, bloody hell they're making some good food in Moorish, everyone keeps eating it. I can't get down therethis stuff. I've got to get down there and eat. It's unbelievable.

Though I do, I find it quite a fascinating place to be honest. Yeah, I mean it's, it's not the third world. Like it is more than it's more. No, it's just slower. And it's quite like everyone, and it's lovely. You can see why it's slow because it's beautiful and it's chilled it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, and it's beautiful, it's beautiful, and it's beautiful, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's, it's, it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's chilled and you got your job and you do it but you know whenever you go up north and stuff you always near a big city but see you're near a big city like my lover but when you go down there just sort of slowly get you're not there's not another big city it's just the end you know I mean it just gets slower if you're driving up north to the to drive north to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bit like of half which is a bit more chilled and Cambridge and then all of a sudden you're in Birmingham yeah yeah yeah Birmingham and it goes all like countryside and

then it's like Manchester or Sheffield or Leeds and in it there's always somewhere else but it's a I just find it just sort of yeah it just sort of like peters out it sort of like peters out it sort of like peters out it sort of like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort th th th thus thus sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the theeat theat to to to to to theat to to to theat theat theat to theat theat theat theeat theat Cormall? Britain, peatering out? Well, it basically gets petered out and you're forced to eat something that Rick Stein's made. It's so narrow, it's so narrow down there. You're not going to fall off from it. It's still right. It's not a bit. I feel like Cornwall's a bit like, you know that, Wonka when he goes into that room and it gets lit her and lit that? Yeah. As he walks back, that's how I feel about it. But anyway, my lover room. Have you got another email? I should just add to the end of that email unbek. Unmonounced to me. I'd wrapped

nearly 50 pounds with a silver and gifted it and gifed it in return for custard. That's from Sally. Dependt the custard, I'm a cheap. So I. I. I. I. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a cheap. I'm a c. I'm a c. I'm a c. I'm a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a t. I'm a tod. I'm a today. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've to. I've the the the the the the th know, like Marlson Spencer's do like, the best custard ever or whatever. I just call Ambrosia. I like Ambrosia, but I would, I'd loathe to describe it as the cheap custard, Robert. I love the Ambrosia range, not to just close from Devon. Yeah, Devin knows how they make it so creamy. Devon knows what a lot. I forgot about that. Cream. Do what I love when I love gigging is when you gig somewhere where there's a brand that's really, really famous in that area.

And now they'll go, I'll go, where'd you work? He's like, I'm a baker and I go, where'd you work? He's like, at the factory. I'm like, what factory? Like, what, what, what, the world's? Because as this London guy not know that Warburton's around here. Fucking wake up, wake up mate. Where have you been all your life? It's bloody Warburton's around here, yeah?

They've been all of theyrethin. So you get that in Worcester, yeah. Now you get that in Worcester, the nuclear power plant. It's Wheatabix and Kettering. When I've come a cropper with all of the the the the the the the the the the the the then, then, then, then, tham, tham, tham, than, thoer, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoompern, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, wan, tha, tha, waweree, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thoer. Woom, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom. Woomorrow, thooomorrow, thooooooomorrow, thoooomorrow, thoooomorrow, thooomorrow, thoomorrow, wae, wae, wae. kettering. So when I was... I've come a cropper with all of them, Rob. Where was the one in, I think it was Middlesbrough has got a big bait, maybe war buttons or something, I can't remember. But Sellafield is near Workington, so I said to Blake, where do you work? He went the fan room.

Yeah. Oh, is that they wasn't. It's a given. Yeah. So they tell you what department. Yeah. Have you done Barrow in Furness? Yes. Everyone works in submarines. Yes. I'm going to say it, Rob. We have again failed to get through enough correspondence. And we're going to do proper correspondence on Tuesday.

Unbelievable. One email about a dinner lady. We didn't even finish. Have to do. Have to do. Have to do. to do. to do. to do. to do it. to do. to do. to do. to do. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Have that. Have that. Have that. Have that. Have that. Have that. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We to do. We to do. We to do. We to do. We to do. We to do. We to do. We to do. We th. We the. We they. they. We they they they they they they they they to they they to they to to to the. They the. the. th us. One email about a dinner lady. We didn't even finish, we interrupted. We interrupted. Absolutely. You must show more discipline than this on Radio 2, Rob, surely. Is it me that's the problem? I do need a bit of structure. I will, as you heard in the last episode, talk about, you know, noshing people off in prison. Yeah. Which is not something you can do on radio to, but it's normally something that's that that that that that that that that that that that last episode talk about, you know, noshing people off in prison. Yeah. Which is not, it's not something you can do on Radio 2, but it's normally something that happens when you leave Radio 2. Oh, that is good, Gia.

That's a kind of humor we're looking for. Oh, that was packaged nice. Right. Are we ready for this guest, Josh, who we got? This was a great interview. She she she she she. She she. She. thioioioioioioioioioioioioio. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, th. thi. th. to get, th. to to to too, to too, to too, too, this guest Josh, who we got? This was a great interview. She's just had a child. She's brilliant comedian who's supporting Alan Cart on tour at the moment. She's also got a dog, because there's a lot of dog chat for Rob who's still dealing with his dog situation. I'm getting into my dog actually. I won't talk about that on Tuesday. We're getting with bonding. Oh, that's good. This is Kelly Convy, welcome to the show. We've been trying to have you on for ages, but our diaries

didn't work. Our diaries are rubbish, Rob. Our diaries are appalling. I definitely the busiest, so. Exactly. You've got the baby. How old's your baby? She's ten months? Oh, fucking owl. Sorry. Did I say that out loud? She's just on the move now, so it's getting, she's getting thrown. Yeah, it's when they start moving. Is she walking or crawling? What she up to? You sort of like furniture, walking, crawling, like you can't take your eyes off of a two-seek. You know, you take you for granted, like you pop out to the kitchen, make yourself a drink or whatever. Here's Johnny. Like a ledge that's just, yeah, I'm living at my dad's at the moment because my house

is being sorted out and everything is a stone floor. It's just, it's a stone fireplace, ledges everywhere to fall down. It's just a death trap everywhere so I can't pay my other and I've got a dog as well. Yeah you've got a big like British Bulldog thing you know the Churchill dog. 38 kilos 38 kilos. That's heavier than Josh yeah but you know he needs to get on the hewool rob. I just keep shitting himself every time he has a curry. Right so Kelly you, you're at your dad's house and you've just got married, you've got a ten-month-old baby and a massive bulldog. Yeah, it couldn't get any harder really, really.

Do you know what, I like to just pile on the stress. I like to just add it on and on and on if I can really just get really stress, it's really, really good. Is your, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thii's, that, that, thiii's, thii's, to thiiii's thi's that, get really stress it's really really good. Is your is your dad much help? My dad's actually a diamond chaise he's really good with her and he does take her and that but he's always working so like you know it's like today with the podcast I've just put a downstairs in a high chair with loads of rice cakes. Is he with her? Yeah yeah yeah of yeah, of course the thing. I genuinely fell for that.

And what about your new husband? So is he working in the office or from home or what's he up to? Yeah, he works in the office, so he's out and about during the day, and then he spawns in at night and gets all the easy stuff? He's very good actually. it's quite hands-on like we've just been on a honeymoon and he pretty much just took her the whole time and just let me lie down. Oh my god. A ten-month-old on a honeymoon. Rob would you have done that on holiday ten-month-old say I'll take it a whole time? Yeah no I don't mind doing that it's more just taking a 10-month-old on a honeymoon but were you supposed to get married before COVID? Is this what's happened? Yeah the

baby's actually wedding number two. We were meant to get married three different times across COVID so yeah she wasn't actually meant to be there when we first got married. Right okay. Wedding number two got cancelled I thought well there's no stress in my life. What should I do? I might as well as the first as well first as well the first as well the first as well the first as well the first as well the first as well the first as well the first as well the first as well the first as we first as we first as we first as we first as we first as we'll just first the wedding the wedding the wedding the wedding the wedding the wedding the the th their the wedding th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. We'll to to to to to the wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding wedding the wedding their their their their their their their their their their their wedding wedding wedding wedding. their their their wedding. their wedding. their wedding. their wedding. We'll their wedding. We'll their wedding. We'll their. We'll their. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll their. We'll their wedding. We'll their wedding. We'll their wedding. We'll in my life. What should I do? All right. I'll organize a wedding I might as well just pop a kid out. So that was that. That was wedding number two. So. And are you back full-time gigging now, Kelly? I went back to gigging when she was three months old. Whoa. Yeah. How was that? How was that? It was all right. It wasn't too bad. It wasn't that was. It wasn't that was. It wasn't that was. It wasn't that was. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was not. that was not. that was not. that was not. that was not. that was not. that was that was that was. that was that was that was that was the the the that was the that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was. mean, I have to say, she's quite, she's quite a good girl. Like, she took to the bottle crack, like, I was still breastfeeding, but I was pumping and she'd take a bottle in the evening. You know, I'd give her, I'd have an express bottle and Bruce would take them out of half, and I all go him the baby the dog everything amazing Miller Light the light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and

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Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit Amex. tox. A.X. A.S.C.A.A.S.A.A.S.A.A.B.A. How are the venues when you turned up with a baby on a 57 pound ball dog or whatever it was? 38 kilo. 38 kilo. to thi. thro. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. to. the........................................ Taking back control there Josh, Elijah Lye. He's taking back the control of your dog's weight, Kelly, because that's what the European Union stopped Josh Whitaker doing.

I voted leave so that I could choose dog weights how I wanted. Thank you very much. That's five cats for me in old money. That dog weighs as much as five cats. But genuinely, did you actually take, were these club gigs or these, you do tour support for Alan Carr, don't you? So would you turn up an Alan car's tour

of a dog, a husband and a kid? Yeah, basically. I'll get on so well with Alan, it was okay. But yeah, no, it was basically, the tour, everything was meant to happen before COVID. So like I had like amazing opportunity where I done all of these working progress shows and then I had this opportunity to do all the big shows like the big, like so working progress you do as you guys know but like in the really small bit as a couple hundred people. Then you go to the big tour which is like thousands people. So I was just like pumped for this tour and then it just kept putting pushed back and pushed back back back back back back back back back back. and push back. and push back. and the the the the the the the. the. the. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And the to. And to. And to. And to. And. And the to. And to. And to. And to. And to. And to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the, the, the, the, the. And, the. And, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thethis tour and then he just kept him pushed back and pushed back and then eventually the start date of the tour was my due date and I was like

you've got to be kidding I was like Alan do you reckon you want to push it back? You know so that's really the reason I went back so early because I just was like I'm missing out on this you know this is an opportunity you know so we just made it work, you know, so it's not been easy. Like there's been times when, you know, especially with the bloody dog, I mean I love him to death, but it does have another dimension to it. So when you're going up there, like, where was it? Oh, it was scumful. We went up there and we had a hotel booked, but it wasn't dog friendly so we had to book the only dog friendly hotel in Skunfork and that it was rank. So what they'd said on the website is that they had baby coats. That's a gamble. Oh my God I've never seen anything like it was like a horror show it was all broken so it wasn't even sturdy and it had I don't even know what to describe it, it had like a life form

growing out of the mattress. Oh, what you mean? Like it was, it was just hard, crusty food, stains. I don't know what was living in there. I did go in the bed with me. I laid away all night with that because I was just so, it was just so rank. I didn't even want to shower in it. You know when it's that rank? You don't even use that to shower. Oh gosh. You come out dirtier? Yeah mate. So yeah, it's not been easy.

But we just got to make it work. It Bruce do? I've never met a Bruce well I've met your Bruce I met him once after a gig. No but like a Bruce I just every time that you say Bruce it makes me smile did did you did did it did it take a little while to get used to his name Kelly I didn't. Don't, don't come like. Where's he from? He's from Brighton. He's from down the coast. So he's not even Australian? No, mate. No, no, no, he's not. He's just got a funky mum. Just clunky mum. Bruce! Love it. Yeah, yeah, she's just called him Bruce. She just decided on Bruce. But also he's a massive sort of rugby playing type. And I swear when I met him I might have imagined it he had a massage He did yet he rocks a massage mate He rocks I'm gonna go back to my old question you sure he's not Australian

I mean you've been down under but we won't go there how much does he weigh How much does he weigh? What does Bruce do then so he's what is he was office like worker in the day kind of job? He's um electrical engineer? he? he? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He's? He's? He's? He's? He's? He's he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's th. He's he's he's he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's rocks, he rocks, he rocks the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He th. He th th th th th th th th th. He th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's th th tho tho tho tho tho th tho tho th th tho th tho tho tho tho tho th tho th th does Bruce do then? So he's what, is he sort of office like worker in the day kind of job? He's an electrical engineer, so he does like, yeah, if you have a power cut, he's sort of, he works the company that gets back on. So, uh, oh, okay. God, so he's constantly introducing himself to people and they're going, yeah, but what's your real name? Yeah, like like, the the the they they they they they they they they they th th. th. th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's like, th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's electrical, he's they. He's they. He's they. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, the the the th. He's like, the th. He's like, th., like legit, like every time we go somewhere they're like, hey, good one. He's like, why would I make that up? Like, what am I getting out of this situation? Rob, we don't do enough about partner's names.

We've never really chased this down and it's a rich area. We never had a bruise at our fingertips before, we need to be asking this every interview. What's your partner's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's name's their name's their name? Is it weird? What's your partner's name and how much do they weigh? That's all we want to know. What's your dog called, Kelly? Nelson. Nelson. Oh my God, it sounds like an E.D.L.

Raleigh, the dog. So you've got the dog. So how long you're at your dad. How long you're at your dad's for? months. It should be, the work should be finished. I striding me mad now. I mean, I love living with my dad. It's not a problem, but it's in middle of nowhere and I just feel like a complete recluse. It's just like, oh. Where are you then? Out in Surrey.

Right, okay. There's like nothing walking distance anywhere you have to get in the car. And I'm used to be in London where the the the the the the the the the London, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th, I'm to be th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th. I th. I th, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin, thin, th. I'm th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi, thi, thi, thi, the end of the road at least you know so and with a ten year ten month old that must feel really kind of entrapped yeah well that's the thing like all the baby classes and that what I decided to do was join them all over at home in South East London so I thought I wanted to get in with all the moms over there and I thought I would be fine driving over two three times a week oh my god th th th th the th the the the the the th the th th oh the the th oh the the the th oh th oh the th oh the the th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh oh oh oh oh oh oh th I tho and I th oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I th I tho. tho. tho tho the tho tho tho two three times a week. Oh my God, an hour there, an hour back. Oh my word. And then you get to the class and I thought, and you do at the end of the class that none of the moms would be like, do you want to go for a coffee? So I'm like sweet. Oh my. Straight back in the car. Yeah, it's kind of weird trying to make friends with the moms because it's sort of like a lot of the where I am in Southeast, it's like East Dulwich sort of way and a lot of them are proper posh like rich wives so yeah yeah like so one of the classes

when she was tiny was the baby massage yeah and so we got there sat around and it went around the room and everyone was saying you know I'm Kelly whatever and I said sorry can I just the the try the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is is the the th is the the the th is the th is the the the the the the the the the the th is is is the the the th is th is it's is it's is it's is it's is it's is it's is is is is it's is is is is is is is is like it's is is is is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is try. try. try. it's like try. try. It's like try. It's like tttry. It's tttry. It's ttry. it's tttry. It's the and everyone was saying, you know, I'm Kelly, whatever. And I said, sorry, can I just check that the babies will be massaging us, right? You've got to be the laugh, like break the ice. Fucking tumbleweed. Like, leave it. Just pick up the baby and leave at that point. Just walk out. There was one woman though that did thenkede thenkede thenkede thenenenenenen, the the the. the. thaaa. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thoome. they. thooma. thooma. thoom. they. they. I I I'm. I'm. I'm. I I'm. I I'm, they. I I I I I. I I. I I. I. I I I. I I. I. I. I, they. I, they. I, th. I, tha. I, tha. I, tha. I, tha. I, tha. I. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. ta. t. t. too. t. And, t. And, t. And, too. And, t. And, too. And, th. And, tha. And, tha. leave at that point, just walk out. There was one woman though that did laugh at the table and we've been friends since actually.

She was like, oh my god, they're so stuck up. So you know, it did pay off because I have no friend out of it. It's quite tricky. It's a good way to whittle them down, isn't it? No, and you went back gigging, you're desperate. I needed the reassurance that I hadn't lost it there. Are you breastfeeding as well Kelly? Yeah and well I have stopped now. I'm on on the formula now which there's a bit of guilt there it's weird with the breastfeeding because everyone's like bang on the breastfeeding. You know what I mean? like they're all like you've got a breastfeed your child, you've got to breast feed your child, the best breast is best and like I was so obsessed with this

and like you know as soon as she was born because they say as soon as like the baby's born you've got to get him like you know straight on your baby like and I went through like a long labour like labour like, um like they were like a long labour like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the be induced twice and I was in labour for 38 hours. Oh my God. Oh my word. So taught me through the 38 out, not minute by minute, but like give me a brief breakdown of how these 38 hours played out. Well I went, so I had to induce me like that like twice so like finally like things started happening but it was so slow that we went for a roast. We did that we went for breakfast because we were induced and then they just send you out into the kind of... We were induced all right Josh I know I'm appointed a midwife put her fingers up your ass. Oh about six hours in actually Rob. It's quite a yeah we're all quite bored. So you went you went for a roast and were you feeling anything at this point?

I know the contractual I was miserable mate because I was overdu and I was so overdue and I was taking my due date as like you know that was it and you know two weeks passed by and I was absolutely miserable and it you know lovely old lady on my road lane she'd come out and be all like, if you tried to curry? I said, you try to shine up a line. And enough of you chat, mate. I don't want to try a curry. I don't want a long walk. I want the babies come up. But yes, I was miserable and I was just like, I was just, I was definitely feeling it. the the peak of the pain. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I.. I. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, the to......................... C. I was, to. I was, to.. I was, to. I was, to. I was, I was, to rise and the contractions started and when you it's your first time, like you just think, oh this is the peak of the pain. You're like, okay, it's happening. I'm in labor. Let's go back, let's go back to the hospital. Okay, I'll have dessert first but then let's go back.

When you got back to the hospital and she was like what do you mean now we're near and then I realized hours later that that pain was nothing like nothing the contractions that kicked in and then like I mean I was like on the gas and air I didn't have anything other than gas and air I was just bang on that gas and air I was flying I was flying I absolutely flying. I went through two massive canisters like the oaer's took me through two of them and then they had to put them up to the mains because I was taking, I was going through the canisters so quickly. So I was off my nut and and then like yeah and then like finally it was like I was just ready. Suddenly it was just time. I mean suddenly, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like, I was th. I was th. I was like, I was like, I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. It was th. It was th. I was th. I was, th. I was, th. It was th. I was th. I was like, like, th. I was like, like, I was th. I was th. I and then like finally it was like I was just ready. Suddenly it was just pro time. I mean suddenly 38 hours later but it just all

happened in one moment where it's like okay we're going we're going we're going so as soon as she came out my instant thing was I had to get her on my boot and have this bonding this skin to skin but also breastfeeding to establish it. So I didn't even look at her I just got a straight on my boot.. and th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. And th. And th time th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just thirty thirty thirty thirty th. I was just th th th th just just th just thirty thirty thirty thirty th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty moment, this skin to skin but also breastfeeding to establish it. So I didn't even look at her, I just got a straight on my boo. And this moment where you look down at your baby for the first time and she had latched onto my breast and I realized she's the like literally, in my little dad's face. Really? Really, that was your first thought? You couldn't, you couldn't unsee it.

Like, for the first two weeks of her life, it was like someone had superimposed my dad's face on her. Yes, that was my first experience of breastfeeding. And then we got so excited, you know, that first moment when they're born and you want to send the photo to all the family. So we're like, send the photo to the family. And then my dad blessed him, he was so excited. He's sending on to all of his mates. And then, you know, like, they're, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th is, their,, like, they're proper bloke geeseers. And he come, one of his mates, John, come back, he said,

John, boy, I have to say to you, mate, your daughter's breasts are out in that photo. And what I didn't realize is I'd sent a photo, but all of my, you're looking at the baby, you. You're looking at his mates, all of his mates, the team and then. But someone in my NCT group had a worse one. The husband had sent the photo about tall of the family groups and everything like that of the baby in the little warmer box thing. What you didn't realize is in the background of the photos in the little warmer box thing. What you didn't realize is in the background of the photos

is the wife getting stitched up. Oh my God. Oh my word. Yeah. Oh my God. How'd you ever get out of that dog house? There's nothing you can do that wrote that one get thrown back in your face. Well at least I didn't send a photo of you getting stitched up around. Oh man, life.

And I was going to talk about your dad as well because you've got quite an interesting upbringing really because you've got a dad a traveler. No, my extended family, my aunt is my dad's, my dad's brother's wife as traveler. Right, yeah, so you have some travelers in your family and stuff, but then you their their their their their their their their their their their their their to you to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have some to have some to have some to have some to have some to have some to be somea. toldl.. to have some to have some tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tapl. tapl. tapl. tapl. taplers. taplers. taplers. So taplers..................... So t...... So t. So t. So, t. So, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tode. tode. t. toda. toda. toda. today. today. younger you didn't have as much money but then he did really well in business and then had a couple more kids that sort of had a very different upbringing to you is that right? Yeah yeah so basically yeah my dad made like a ton of money when we had left school right home essentially so we didn't plenty of the rewards of this. She says now living in his sort of cottage on the ground so I mean I have to you know but

basically what happened was is that my dad sold a company for lots and lots of money and then that was with my baby brother and sister with you know really young so they went to the finest private schools and have grown up in pure like privilege and wealth. So I was Marley Corsh and yeah Harry just completed his masters at Cambridge in that site like what was you doing at his age Kelly? Oh I don't know if I've been stone somewhere. And so like do you think with your you know because your your daughter will have a different sort of upbringing to you but then also quite similar I imagine to your brother than

sisters and stuff do you see the sort of stark differences between it? Oh mate like you know what the private education is just like crazy I mean I it's not like I wish I had a private education, but like, I remember my little brother telling me, like I used to read in bedtime stories, and he'd ask me to stop because my grandma was so bad. Like, correcting me, like, you know, it's a different world. It's sort of like, you know, you do see the other side of it.

I mean, Harry was just like, it's so impressive. I mean, Moshe was as well, you know, like, it was only a couple of weeks ago that he graduated from Cambridge. And I was just like standing there, we went to the little ceremony and that, and you're seeing all of these kids like walking through in their little caps and, you know, prop, pure geeks, like, proper geeks. And they're just, it's just like a different world, you know, like, they're just, they're just so successful already, you know, you know, the, you know, I wouldn't be surprised

if one day my brother was potentially Prime Minister. He's called Harry, but my dad can't pronounce his H. So it would be like, Harry, you know, he's like, yes, father. Yeah, so it's a weird, we've got this like literal class divide down our, down the center of our family. But it doesn't, you know, we get on so well and, you know, if I can give B that sort of education, then great, but I don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you th. th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th then great but I don't you know it's not going to keep me up at night although one of my mom friends showed me a video for a local private school and I almost cried for the kindergarten oh my god so just watch this and try not to cry oh my god it's beautiful

education facilities oh my god education facilities oh my god! You'd go there to the the the the the to th th th th th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the the. It's the. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. It's not that. It's not the. It's not to to the. It's not the. It's not the. It's not that. It's not that. It's not that, it's not that that, it's beautiful. Education facilities, oh my God. You'd go there for the afternoon just to brush up on a few things. I'd love to if I could have bought it, Jesus. Do you wind up, because it's normally like the parents goes, well, you're lucky you're getting this because I had this when I was your age, but you can, you're so much closer to it because you know what holidays you had compared to what holidays I had you can just does it ever come up do you have a sort of like do you ever say to your dad like all that money you spent on their education can I have that in a lump sum you know you owe me about 10 grand a term here mate over 11 years you want the private education or do you want the money in the bank? That would be an exciting moment for the kid. I mean yeah if they're four years

old and take the money I think they don't need the private education. I think. Yeah, no, it only come up the other day when we're sitting there and Harry's like finished his union and that and he's like I don't know what to do what I don't the like he's got a friend out in Australia and literally just without even thinking I said mom was like well we're just paying for you to go to Australia, just go to Australia I was like I'm gonna go to Australia. I hate it loads of 21 year old Cambridge graduates going Roll as my Burkey doing Tick Tocks. You'd be living after an hour. And how's Nelson your massive dog getting on with a baby? Because that's something that like people talk about. If you've got a little baby and then a big every dog like that, even if the dog's lovely, it's just big and heavy. It's hard. It does add another dimension to it. You know she can't be on the floor. Now she's's a bit more sturdy and that like at first, you know, it was really tricky

because you've got a like with a baby, like with you know a lot of time they'll be playing on the floor, let them do the tummy time or whatever and you just can't do that. So a lot of it was up high theymeathe, and he wasn't used to use to it. And he's to use to use to use to use to use to it was up to use to use to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be to be the house and he's nine and you know he's always been the baby and he's like the high pitch screaming and all that stuff it was quite tough and I think he was a bit I don't know about jealous but I just didn't like it it didn't like the sounds and that and I think he'd look you know he'd be well he was a bit jealous you know when he was a dog show it's jealous do he sort of roll his eyes and slam doors? Whenever I was breastfeeding, mate, I swear he used to look at me and like,

you never did that with me. Where? Maybe he thought you were breastfeeding your dad. He just thought he'd got a bit smaller. I think he, he got used to it and now she's up and about and she's climbing all over him and pulling him. He's very very, he was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was very, th. th. th. th th. th th th. th th th th. th. thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes, thoes, tho tho tho- he was thoes, he was thoes, he was to to to to to to to to to thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. to tho to to to thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. to to to the to used to it and now she's up and about and she's climbing all over him and pulling him. He's very patient actually. He's very, very patient. What annoys me is other people who like will go, oh what are you going to do with the dog then? Like what do you mean? They're like, you know, give him up or get rid of him or surely he's dangerous. I'm like, if I had a dangerous dog, like, what do you think I'd just take the chance and just like

like you know let's see let's see what happens you know he's he is good but you just have to be vigilant at literally all times like you know it's it's never a moment where you can just quickly pop out the room. She has to be up high. We've got like high chairs and like bassinet things and yeah, so you just have to it like as you probably know I mean we do know you just make it work with your situation and yeah we've adapted but it's not it's definitely not being easy it definitely adds another another yeah. I was gonna say because we've got we've got a dog when the kids were like four and six and it's a lot easier thi it's a th. it's a th. it's a th. it's a th. it's a th. it's a th. it's a thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a th. It's just th. It's just th. Yeah. It's things and things and things and things and things and things and things. things. things. th. th. th. to be th. to be th. th. th. to th. th. to to th. to to to thi. It's a to to to to thi. It's a to thi. thi. to thi. to thi to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi. thi. to thi. to thi. thi. to yeah I was going to say because we've got we've got a dog we got we got dog when the kids were like four and six and it's it's a lot easier transition to introduce a puppy to bigger

kids than the other way around yeah how's the how sleep going she's she's actually really quite good actually she's always a next question the next question question. It's terrible because I will admit that here but like especially when I was trying to make mom friends and they'd be like oh it's such a nightmare isn't it? I'm like oh yeah yeah like you know you've just got a lie in that situation. I do 100% have to lie. Anyone that doesn't lie in that situation is a monster I think if they've got a good sleeper. What are you going to gain out of it by telling your mate that like who's had two hours leave that you've stepped through the night? I would just feel like, oh yeah, I know it's such a strong honestly I just can't deal

with it. And she's like, oh yeah, well I tell you what, we're in it together, I'll send you, if if I'm up in the night, I'll send you a message about three o'clock, and we the morning, and we the morning, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we'll, and we'll, and we'll, and we'll, and we'll, and we'll, and we'll, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like we'll be there for each other. I'd also, yeah, I usually leave my phone downstairs. So she's been really good. She had like that regression thing at like four months when her teeth started coming in. And there definitely are nights when there's like, she's up in that. Like last night, she was up at like four o'clock this morning and I just got her in bed with me and she goes back to sleep so.

She's not been too shab I have to say but you know there's definitely nights when I'm just like, I think it's worse actually when they're good and then you get this shock of like sorry what? Yeah the regression yeah you're like if they wake up and you're like oh it it it it it it it they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're like to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to sorry, what? Yeah, the regression. You're like, either they wake up and you're like, oh, it must be 7 o'clock in the morning. You're like, it's how past 11, and I've just got into a deep sleep. Come in, you're like, what's your problem? And then they're just like, gah! You know, most of the time when I come in, she's to come, to come, to come, to come, the, to come, the, the, the, to come, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and I's, and I's, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, the, the, and I'm, and you're like, and you're like, and you're like, and you're like, and you're like, and you're like, and you're like, and the, and the, the, and the, the, the, the, the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, and the, and the, the, and the, the, and the, the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th th th th they. they're, they. they. the just wants to be well she'll cry and then I come in and she's all like you're right babe I'm not all right

and do you split it with Bruce in the night or do you what how do you split it split the workload first it would be almost like we try and jump up and be like oh you know I'll go and now it's sort of like we pretend that we're asleep. I think we do split it but we're trying to get out of it a lot more now. I would like, you know, the novelty's worn off. Yeah, the novelty's worn off. Like, you go to where? Go to where, mate, because I ain't getting up. And are you thinking about more? Are you just, are you tapping out of one or you're not, you've not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken not spoken. the to to to to the are you just are you tapping out of one or you've not spoken about it yet too soon?

Yeah, no, no, I think we'll definitely definitely go for it. And I think we'll have them close together. I think in terms of like for work and that, the way I see it is that this is disruptive. You know, this is going to disrupt my work and it's much harder for me as a woman. I had a lovely male comedian last me the other week. It's like how is it going back to the gigging? Because like we're thinking about you know having a baby and I'm you know I'm wondering if it's going to affect me. And I'm like I ain't gonna affect you mate. You can go back to work. Like I mean, like for me I know that this is gonna this is this is this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going this is going to this is going to to to to to to to to to to to to to be going to to to be going to to to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the to the the to the to work. Like I mean, for me, I know that this is going to affect me for a little while. You know, I couldn't go on tour right now, do you know what I mean? I mean, I mean, I couldn't just go and go, you know, if I suddenly had this huge following and it was just like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, every single night. We'd make it work, but it just wouldn't be ideal. So the way I see it is that we'll bang out the next one as soon as possible.

And then, and then, instead of like, like. At your dad's house. I know, blasphemy. Sorry, Papa. Big bad Bruce walks through the door of a moustache after a tough day of electrical engineering. Dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad. to to to to to to to the to to the to the to to the to the to to the to th. th. to through the door of a moustache after a tough day of electrical engineering. Dad pops out to the pub, just give them 10. It just makes sense to just get it done in one chunk instead of like going back and then reestablishing and getting cracking again and then

having to sort of take the time out again because I definitely definitely want more so in because I definitely want more so. Because your dad had a big gap didn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is nice, but like so me and my sister, we were 18 months apart and it's nice, you know we're close and it's a nice gap and I think that you can grow up together. And self-inty like when you're out and about, you know, when you go to like, I don't know, Chessin or whatever, they want want to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like, that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that, that's, that, that Chessetan or whatever, they want to go on the same rides instead of having like a five-year gap and they're like, that's a baby ride, I don't want to go that kind of thing.

Well that must have happened to you when you were, you know, you were 14 and there was a one-year-old knocking about. I ever thought he was, I was, I thought, I th and I thought, I th and th one, I th and th one, I th one, I th wasn't, I th wasn't, I th was, I th was, I th was, I thin, I thin, I thin, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's a that, that, they, that, they, they, they, they, that's a that's a that's a their, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a teenage bride. It was so funny, because what it was, by that time my dad was, it was living in like sort of Kingston, sort of, you know, a nicer area. But I was still in Chattam, and I was full-blown Chad, like, you know, with the proper tracks suits, the gold jewelry, the hair on. So I would come up to this sort of well-to-do sort of suburb of sub sub sub sub sub sub sub sub sub sub sub sub sub-s of thububub of th-s of th-s of th-s of th-s of th-in of th-in, th-in, th-in, th-inate-inate-inate-inathea-in-in-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-l-l-l-l-l-in-in-l-in-n. th. th. th-n. thian-n. thian. th- on. So I would come up to this sort of well-to-do sort of suburb of London and take my brother out in his pram in my track suit and that and I used to just get the looks like oh look at 14 15 year old like with this baby in a cram. I mean to be fair I definitely played on it and I loved every minute of it. Did you used to pretend then?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, used to love it. Used to love it. What would you do? Take him into Dan Tan, wouldn't I? Just taking him out and his friend. Just take him out and his friend of that. Yeah, I definitely, it definitely plays on it. I think I liked the attention, to be honest.

It's amazing you speaking to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to me their to being toing, their their toing, the attention to be honest. It's amazing you speak to stand up comedians all the weird things they did for attention before they found just comedy. Well, yeah, I mean, you know, that was the thing. Was I naughty at school and you know always speaking out and never, you know, behaving. It all makes sense now. Was you naughty at school then? I wasn't like naughty naughty, but I I would always get sent out a class and you know like talking and disruptive and you know there was always definitely I was always trying to be a bit of a clown and stuff and that would always get me in trouble. Did you gig when you were pregnant? Like how was that? Yeah I gigged right up until

I did top, not top secret, Up the Creek. Yeah, I did that when I was about two, well, two weeks away from my due date, so actually a month away from giving birth. Wow. Up the creek sounds like a turn of phrase for someone pregnant. She's up, she's up the creek. Yeah, I was, do th, do th, do th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi, thi, thi, to thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, I, I to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. toge, toge, togu. toge, toge, togu. toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, the the the the the creek. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I was, you know what I loved performing when I was pregnant.

It worked so well. It was just such a freeing way to go up there because, I don't know, I mean, you'll know this. People judge you like that. Well, I won't. I've never done stand up pregnant, Kelly. No, no, I just, I just put on a few toletetetetetetetetetetetetetet, toe, toe, toe, the, the, I was, the, I was, the, I was, I was, the, the, I was the, the, the, I was told, told, I was told, thi, thi, told, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, told, told, told, told, to, too, was, told, was, was, too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. pregnant Kelly. No, no, I just, I just put it a few pounds. I found I was wheat intolerant, but it didn't look like it. You're bloating. I told it when I was doing the remake of Junior. When you go up on stage, people judge you.

You know, once you're a big name and that, like, people know who you are, they're who you are, they know what to expect. When when, when, when, when, when, when, when, they're, the they're, their, their, they're, they're, their, they're, their, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, to, to, to, they're, they're, they're, they're, to, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to. to, to, to, to, to. to. to, there they judge you and when you got there was a big belly you know that there's this warmth and this intrigue and this you know and I would always like that one up the creek when I was I was absolutely just about to draw I was so massive and there was this really rowdy stag do on the front row and I loved playing around with those sort of guys anyway but going up they're pregnant you know they were they were talking for everyone everyone the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their. their. their their their their. their. they were just. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their the their the their they're the the the their their their their th. their tre. their tre. their their their their their their their their their their they're pregnant, you know, they were talking for everyone's sex and they were just the nooses. And I just went up there just straight away and I just said, don't babe I haven't seen you in like, you know, nine months.

Boom, you know, he was like embarrassed. Yeah, it created this thing. And they shut up and they loved and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and they loved up and their their they loved up and they loved up and they laughed and it was like a tool that I could use which was wonderful you know I had little jokes about like my trousers not fit in and you know it was just it was it was like jokes that I can only use whilst pregnant I might have to just get pregnant start using them again because they were bad. That's the problem is that you get a great set but then as soon as you have the baby, it's gone. Yeah, yeah.

Because that happens Darro Brian with it, he had a bad, he had a knee, knee operation and he was gigging, and he had loads of jokes about the cane. And then I saw him come off stage and he was walking normally. And I went, oh, don't you need the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to the, the the the the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be, to, to be............. to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th t the t ttoooooo, the ttoo, the the t the ttoo, the the the th forever, but I'm just enjoying it. So you felt like audience has almost perceived you differently. 100%. And even actually coming back and talking about being a mom, it's just, it's such a warmer reaction from the crowd. It's crazy. Like, I just feel like they really accept me and warm to me so much quicker knowing that I'm mum. It's so difficult being pregnant. You psychologically, physically, everything is tough isn't it?

You know that you've got the pregnancy coming in, sorry, the labor come in and or you're going to be a mom and all this stuff. I think people are aware that's, that, their that, theymea, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, so, so, so, so, so, so, somea, somea, thi, thi, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so......................... So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th your seat or you let them in it sort of you're aware that they sort of need slightly better treatment than someone who's not pregnant but also as well it does it being pregnant is quite funny isn't it? Yeah. Do you know I mean? You just got a massive bump and inside it it's a tiny baby it's a tiny baby. I didn't find it hilarious. I didn't I didn't find th I didn't find th I didn't find th I didn't find th I didn't find th I didn't find th I didn't find th I didn't find th th th th thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th find th find thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' they's they're th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. thin' th. th. the. the. the. the. they're the an the an the an the an the an throoo' thr-a' thing about pregnant women, they don't find it hilarious, but it is quite funny, isn't it, having a little baby in your belly all the time. That's a funny concept, isn't it? How often did you say that to Lou, Rob?

Never! I'm actually nervous about her hearing this. But, well, no, but if you turn the table. If you turn the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if you're the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, if the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby the baby the baby the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby in the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the the the the th.. the the th. the thi. the thi. the the the thethey? Kelly, do you think it's funny? Yeah, Junior was a good film. No, I'll tell you what people, when they look at you when they look at you and you're pregnant, the one thing that other women that have had babies though, they are not respectful, they don't the birth? You ready? Because that one, see that one over there, point in their kid, they're like, oh yeah, see that one, that was a bloodbath mate. Oh God! You know, sorry? Like don't do I even really? Yeah, yeah, yeahthing partner for both of her children. Wow. I talk about this in my stand-up because it's like, you know, like, it's kind of, it's meant, I mean you've seen it. Did you go down the business end? No. I was there. I very much stayed up the, well I don't know what the opposite the business end is, the leisure end? Yeah, like they basically they were like can you just go and I take your sister's feet like so like push up into her feet so when she

put for when she pushes so I went down into the bed and I was like pushing up into her feet and then like I like looked up and there it was and it was like demical again I mean like it was like the biggest thing I've ever said I've never I didn't I mean what it how it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's like it's it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I th is is the I the I theeee I thee I theee I thee I theee I the the the the the the th th like it was like the biggest thing I've ever said I've never I didn't I mean what it how it's it's massive it's like I've never go inside I didn't even think they could get that big or she's a massive one I don't know but it grows to the size of like I don't even like I don't even like I'm saying like I say the only way I can describe it is is like you know if you stare into a light for too long every time you close your eyes it's all you can see like that's what now when I close my eyes

I'm tears my sister's badge and then when you open them you see your dad getting milk terrible you need therapy Kelly I think I do this has been like therapy for me I thi I th you I th you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you the thi the thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the thrible. You need therapy, Kelly. I think I do. This has been like therapy for me. I think like just getting it all off the chest. Well, the other thing you can get off your chest, which may be helpful is the one thing that annoys you about Bruce's parenting. Is there something that he's doing that's annoying you, Kelly, that if you listen to this, he could potentially change his ways? Oh, do you know what? I love that man, but my God. He's like safety bear, like safety first. This is a man that made me at the age of 34, wait for the fucking green man. That long.

I love that man. He's an absolute harm. He's literally like, wait for the green man. I'm like, what? There's no cars come in. He's that safety bet. So with B, it is like safety, safety. And because I'm with her all day in that, I'm a little bit more relaxed, like a little bit more like, you know, whatever, like she's fine, she'll be all right. But it's with the feeding, the feeding, so he'd be like, is that cut up enough? Is that soft enough? I'm like, babe, it's mashed potato. Like, it's fine. He's always, I mean, it's a very cute thing, that it's like on all the time. It's like safety, safety, safety, is she that buckled in? So I think that's one thing about him that is

is annoying that yeah he's he's he's controlling. It's a big word to end on that isn't it but I think we're gonna stick with it. Oh no, he's a safety safety barrier. You wait to him he'll be letting up play with matches and next time you come home going, yeah, happy now? Where? Take a few more risks, are we, Kelly? Well? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh, th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th, th, th? Yeah, th? th, th, th, th, th? the the the the the they? Is they? Is they? Is th. Yeah, th is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the the the the the the the the the the the the he? Yeah, is, is. Yeah, is. Yeah, he? Yeah, he? He? He? He's is. Yeah, he? He's is. Yeah, he? He's is. Yeah, he? He's? He's? He's? Is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they? Is the the the the thi's the thi's thi's thi's thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, he'll be later to play with matches and next time you come home going, yeah, happy now? Take a few more risks, are we, Kelly? Oh well, you're smashing it, Kelly, good luck with it. Good luck with the rest of the tour of Alan. Send him our love and we'll speak to you soon. As soon as he has a kid, well, I have a mom. Thank you boys. Cheers. Thanks seems in a very good place for 10 months.

Yeah, she was though, sat on the floor of her kid's bedroom next to a radiator, hunched over a laptop with a microphone propped on a pillow. Yeah. The vision didn't match the energy. No, exactly. I was taken the dog was going to pounce on her at some point. I've met that dog and he's a fucking unit. See on Tuesday guys, bye. See on Tuesday, guys. See on Tuesday!