Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP26: Rachel Parris

Episode Date: October 21, 2022

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian, musician, actress and presenter - Rachel Parris. You can catch Rachel in the hilarious 'Austentatious' show in November and December. Details here; https://www.austentatiousimpro.com/shows/london/ Thanks, Rob + Josh. We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York You.C.A. What does possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with business platinum.

That's the powerful backing of American Express. Turns and commissions apply. Visit Amx. to parent in hill with... What are you going to say? And then, do you remember the other name? Josh Widdickham. Good job.

Sounds like a television book. Good job. Yeah, that was. Hi, Robert Josh. Hi. This is my 26-month-old. What's that mean? Two and a bit. Caleb, who hasn't stopped saying your names now that I've asked him to. Well, he did stop saying mine. He was born at the beginning of the pandemic, so those first few months were very tough. Oh, COVID, Caleb. Thank you for sharing all the parenting stories and causing lots of laughs out loud moments in our house.

Also, big shout out to Lou! Oh, yeah. As I'm also enjoying following her on Instagram. Yes, that's right Lou, you are an influencer. Keep up the good work, boys, and hopefully we'll get to see you when we can come to Cardiff. Rosie, 30-ish Brecon, Mid-Wales. There are a few little, the live tour is next April. Next April. Next April. And there's also some smaller venues on sale soon or already on sale. We're doing like Portsmouth. Warm up ones right? Wormup, yes.

It won't be as good. They're the work in progress ones. So make sure that when we hit the arenas we're on fire. So we're doing Portsmouth, I think Canterbury, Hexam, or... At North Allotan, Barnard Castle. Barnard Castle. We'll have a bithea the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thinea'n'er. I thinea'er. I'er. thinea'er's th. thereen theree theree theree the the the'erate the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th bet you guys haven't heard this before. You're all your Barnard bastards. Here there go. Yeah. And a few other places I don't know. Do you know what I'd like is, imagine what one of those tickets would look like as a bookmark in our own book as a Christmas present. That's that's a good Christmas. You're a dirty bastard. I was like thirty that. Yeah. Yeah. That. That's the good. That's the good. That's the good. That's th. That's the good. That's the good. That's the good. That's a good. That's a good. That's a good. That's a good. Yeah. That's a good. That's a good. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good good good good good good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. That's a good. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. That's a good. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah. That's a good. Yeah of bookmarks, maybe four bookmarks in a book. And then some headphones that are attached to the audio books.

Ah, exactly, exactly, wrong. Or not? Or not? Or not. Right, should we do some corp. We've not done correspondence. We just take, take, take from our listeners. Let's take their content now and farm it back to them. It's good content. Sell them, sell them themselves back. What have you done there?

I went to put my feet up because I look forward to the correspondence and it made more noise than I thought. Here we go. Okay, a story on the topic, things your parents were called into school for. When me and my sister were all made to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoooooe. My mom received a call from the school to say my sister, who I think was in year one at the time, had told a teacher she had seen a man in the bushes with a gun. Oh my word! A school playground ran alongside a dodgy alley where your standard 1990s glue sniffers and flashes... Flash in the alley. Flash in the alley. Flashes in the alley? I mean you're not going to get much footfall there.

She's written this like it's a, oh the Glory Day. Just a glue sniff and a flasher. They're copy decks and down the alley get my knob out. Where they frequently hung out. So a gunman wasn't totally a totally wild claim. Of course she hadn't seen a gunman at all and made it up. Oh my God. Also they said when she was in reception she hung a boy from the school sundial with one of those fabric bee bands that you wore over your shoulder remember them? You wear like a little sash to be a color in sports day. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I forgot that like a fat man's belt over your shoulder. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, so she hung a guy,

oh, that sister sounds dangerous. Hi, Robin Josh, I wanted to share a story about what happened a few years ago when my daughter was about 18 months, year old. Did that on purpose wasn't too bad, so we thought a good night's sleep would sort her out and in the morning she would be fine. About 2 a.m. my daughter starts to cry and cough. Knowing that a cough was usually a precursor to my daughter vomiting, my wife, sprung out.

to bed the only floor in the house with laminate flooring thus, making the potential clear up much easier. That's so depressing. That's so depressing. Running with a child near something white clean. Oh my god. Anyway, suddenly it happened. My daughter erupted from her mouth and nose. My wife was holding her over her shoulder so the enormous spew fell mostly on the kitchen

floor with my wife's hair, shoulder and back collateral damage. That that. That that that that that that that that that that that that that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is the that is they. That's they. That's that's really really really really really really really really really really they. they. they. they. that's really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really. they. they. their. their. their. I I their. I their. I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I was. th. I was. I was. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm really really. I'm really really. I'm really. I'm really. I was. I'm really. I was. I'm really. I'm mostly on the kitchen floor with my wife's hair, shoulder and back collateral damage. That's horrible isn't it? This is, like the things, this is happening every night in households across the country, just a child being sick. My dog suddenly arose from his slumber. Oh no, oh no. I know where this is going. Knowing that when the small human dropped something on the floor it usually equals food. He rushed over in an anticipation of a late night slack. In his enthusiasm he sprinted into the lumpy puddle on the floor, much bigger than he anticipated. Oh God. His excitement was too much. He had all four paws in the previous evening's partially digested musse. All four paws gave way. Legs akimbo meaning the dog's underside was covered from chin to tail in chunda. Oh my god. From chin to th. That's the th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's the th. That's the th. That's the th. That's the th. In the the the th. In the th. In the th. In th. In th. In th. In his the the th. In th is th is thi thi thi their. In their. In their. In their. In their, he's their, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. In thu thrue. In thu thrue. thrue. thrue. thrue. In thrue. their their their their the the the the meaning the dog's underside was covered from chin to tail

in chunder. Oh my god. From chin to tail in chunder. That's beautiful. I forget dogs have chins. Ha ha ha ha. Well, they don't really. They're quite like chinless.

The jaw. Yeah. Is it a chiny? Yeah. It's like your first date of Rose. It's a bit weird actually I think they're Josh. I liked it Rose. My daughter still crying from her first explosion then decided it was time for round two. Oh no not on top of the dog. No, no, no. My wife hadn't moved too much in a few seconds in took my dog to belly flop into the bottle. Round two landed squarely on top of my dog!

Oh my god! Oh my god, it's a speep sandwich. Meaning he was pretty much a furry, vomiting ball of flood. My god. A shower for my wife, a bath for the dog, and a shit-down a kitchen roll for me to clear up the mess which were required at 2 a.m. My daughter clearly some sort of evil genius managed to escape the events of the evening without getting anything on her so went to sleep. That's incredible. How old are you? How old are you? 18 months?

Same PJ? Well, because she put out the good work Pete. to the today. told another one? Yeah. There there we go. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, th. Hi, th. Hi, th. Hi, th. Hi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, clearly, clearly, to. to. to. to. to. Clearly, to. to. to. to. Clearly, toda. toda. toda. toda. that Pete. Great work Pete. Do you want another one? Yeah. Here we go. Hi gents, I was listening to your minding class episode where somebody said they listened to you during labor and I can confirm you're also part of my birth story for our second child. In true second time, mumfashion, my labor progressed quickly and we left the journey to the hospital a little later than we should have. My husband and I are big fans of your podcast so I can understand why he thought plenty of one of the episodes on the drive to the hospital would be a good idea whilst I did my best to brief through the contractions and generally stay in the zone. Sadly it was F. Beat that name out but keep it in Michael I think that should be running here. The thing is he resumed one where we had previously left off and it started with you both laughing quite a lot with the occasional, okay, frequent swear world thrown in. No offence, lads. But in that

moment without any context of what you were laughing at, it threw me off a little and it just felt like I was being heckled. I knew this was my husband's attempt to help me in a thoughtful way so I did my best to continue my focus breathing but it was difficult as you both both, fuck off, fuck off, for no reason whatsoever. It seemed to be at the time. Now we have a newborn, Nell and a three-year-old, Layla and can't wait to get to the magical ages of one and four that Josh Mang sounds so fun. Oh God.

Rachel Milton Keane's. I think that's interesting that that's the first voice. That maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe a baby he is, it could be ours. Yeah, the fuck, that'd be a terrible thing to come into the world. Me and you just moaning about a week. What did you listen to? Did Lou have a birthday? No, it's very traumatic. You can read about it in the book. Yeah. I'm not going to get bogged downto the show.

Hello. How are you? I'm fine, thank you, yeah. For a show called Parenting Hell, I am child-free today. I thought you were going to say completely, I was going to go, this is going to be a long interview. Yeah, we put the child up for adoption actually. It's a really, quite a lot of hassle we found out. We changed our minds we were just tired in the morning so it was not worth it. And we're not tired now so it actually has worked out really well.

Rachel how old is your baby? He is 14 months? 15 months? Is that still a baby? Is that a toddler? Well, he's walking now, so I think officially it's a toddler. Yes. Officially a toddler. But I think it's perfectly normal that I still struggle, I still try and hold him horizontally and sway him and sing to him a song that goes, you're still my baby, you're still my baby. Yeah. That's normal, that's that's normal, that's normal, that's normal, that's normal, that's normal, that's that's that's normal, that's that's that's normal, I that's that's normal, I that's normal, I that's normal, I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I's th. I's th. I th. I'm tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I th. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I th.'t it? Actually, I think that's absolutely fine, not problematic at all. I think once he's talking, maybe you need to knock that on the head, but...

My mom still does that with my youngest brother. And Rachel, for people that don't know, you're married to Marcus Briggsock, a comedian that we all know as well. That's correct. And just to clarify our baby is with him not just, that, that, thiiiiiii-a, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that's that's that, that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that, that's that, that's that's that's that's th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that we all know as well. That's correct and just to clarify our baby is with him not just away. Yeah so that yeah that's your baby together and he's got children from a previous relationship so are you step mum is that a thing? I am yeah I'm step mum to two teenagers well I say teenagers one of them's 20 so so the other one's about to turn 18. So let's start with the baby first but how do you... The tododododododododododododododododododododododododod. I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. that's. that's. that's. Yeah. I's. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I's. I's. Yeah. I. I. I's. I. I. I. I. I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I's. th. th. one's about to turn 18. So let's start with the baby first but how do you... The toddler. The toddler. Sorry. He's still my baby. Well exactly. I mean is it do how involved are you I suppose as the step-mom role? Because it's sort of a weird sort of thing to be when they're so old now. Yeah, well they came into their lives when they were 13 and 15. I bet they love that, I bet you love that, just staring at each other all awkward.

Yeah, I'm sure they were absolutely over the moon. Do you know what, like they were really good. I think it was hard for them and hard for, hard for all of us because blended families are hard but actually you know you read about teenage kids and especially step kids who have every reason to act out actually and you know they've just been pretty amazing to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th. th. th. the the the thi the the thi they're thi they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they stepkids who have every reason to act out actually. And you know, they've just been pretty amazing to be honest. And I mean, it's different because I was never able to truly mother them, if you know what I mean. You know, they've got a fantastic mum and that was never my job. You came in early doors, putting some really harsh rules. Yeah, exactly. Things are going to change around here. It's a new they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. And them his last. Things are going to change around here.

It's a new set of rules. Welcome to Paris Town. This episode is brought to you by Nisprasso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nespresso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more or a Nespresso bouti near you.

Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer, and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they, they, they, they, the they, the the the the their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their the taste of beer, and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both, because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time, tasks like Miller time. Learn more at Miller Light.CA. Must be Legal Drinking Age. But I think they get a bit of bad rep teenagers. I don't feel like they're as bad as what everyone's anxiety tells you

they're going to be. Because I think that's the big worry, isn't it? Everyone's got, oh, you wait. You wait. You wait to the one thing with teenagers is no matter how kind of socially aware and politically Interested they are and all that kind of thing I think teenagers are quite inward looking and I think that is From that comes a lot of the things that people moan about which is being sort of tormented souls hence every both of my stoke kids did

GCSD drama and the drama pieces and all of their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the GSE drama and their drama pieces, and all of their friends throughout the school's drama pieces were about, you know, murder, suicide, like huge topics for 15 year olds. Yeah, he changed a lot since I was a teenager, I mean, Paneenie stick arounds and breasts. Do you want to know what my, the the main things? My GCSE drama piece was set in a I was a blinded soldier in a World War 1 hospital. Really? And then we came up with this ourselves and the guy next to me would tell me stories about this woman that walked past the window.

Where's this going Josh? I'm just telling you what my GCSE drama was. At the moment, you've spoken more about this than Rachel spoke about her kid. No, I need more context. Was this, did you write this? Was it devised or? Well, Josh, tell you about it. Well, I, we wrote it as a group, but it was. Yeah, so anyway, I was blinded and there was a woman that walked past the window that the other soldier would tell me about and she was kind of my hope, you know, I, yeah, I'm a fancy woman and then at the end the other soldier died, a new soldier goes into the bed and I ask him,

it was the woman's walking past the window and he says, there is no window. Oh wow, that's that's the that's the that's that's the that's the that's that's the that's that's the woman. I I I I I the woman. I th. I thue. I th. I thathea thathea. I that's that's that. I th. I was that. I was the woom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the woman's w. the woman's w. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the woman. the the the the the the the the th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thean. the. the. the. the. thoooooooooo. th. th. th is no window. Wow, that's good. Hares on the back, see? Yeah. Oh my God, I thought you were going to say there's no woman. No, there's no window. That's even deeper. I actually, I think the line was, it's a brick wall. Oh, right. That's not as gently done.

No, it's good actually. integrity of the building than I thought. Yeah now I just feel like why are you putting wounded soldiers in rooms of no windows? It doesn't need a window. Oh he is blind. Yeah but a bit of a breeze. Oh I hear what you're saying Josh is blind people don't need windows. Lock them up. Oh god oh god let's go back to your toddler baby. Sorry you talk about your stepkids drama clerk there and they're there. Oh yeah so I just I just that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th the thi thi thi thi their their their the the the the th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi thi thi thi God! Let's go back to your toddler baby. Sorry, you talk about your stepkid's drama clock. They're there. Oh yeah, so I just think that there's a weird mixture, which is this generation, to be fair, have had to put up with a hell of a lot, you know, they've been brought up in a big recession. They've had COVID, they've been equipped to cope with their mental health struggles. So I do feel... And they have to have social media.

Yeah, social media. Yeah, they have social media. So I'm bullying, you know, bullying online and... And some of them haven't got pubs. Yeah, and that's really going. And that's really going to be getting in their head. Oh, what are you're the old, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, to, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, to, to, to, to, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they're, doing? What am I doing? I just don't have an airy armpit? What's? Why do I need long airy bits out my arms? It's getting all sweating horrible. I might as well keep them short. How long is it? Well I'd say you they're when they're unleashed, are you looking at three to four inches of arm? That is very long. That is that. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. That is all. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their is their th. th. th. their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the. I'm th. I'm. I'm th. I'm just. I'm. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm the. I'm. I just. I'm the. I'm not, and they're all blonde, so it looks like I've got a tiny woman in my arm and it's just their air coming out.

Sorry, so you're, you're, what, what? I just, my favorite bit in the interview is the shock in Rachel's voice. How long is it? I think that, well, I was about to dig in deep about pubic hair, but I think, you know, there there there there's there's there's there's there's there's they, I they, I thi thi thi, I was, I was a, I was a thi, I was about, I was about, I was about, I was about, I was about, I was about, I was about, I was about, I was about, I was about their, I was about tho, I was about, I was about to, I was about to, I was about to, I was about to, I was about to, I was about to, I was about to, I was about to, I was about to, I was about to, I was about their, I was about their, I was a, I was a, I was a, I was a their, I was a their, I'm, I'm a their, I'm a their, I'm a their, their, thin, thin, their, that, that, that, that, you're thi., thoooomoomorrow, that, you're tooomorrow, that, thi., their, thi. that, there's a happy medium isn't there? Well, you want to, I think it should be gender neutral, that you just keep it trim. Yeah, like the thing is, I think you don't want it completely bald because a man's penis looks like a mole rat. So what you want is just a nice splatter in a pubic hair,

but not a big bush that's overwhelming for everyone involved. There thi. on that. You know and women's bits don't look like a mole rat but I sort of think you still want to look like a human don't you? Yeah yeah yeah so what was their drama pieces? This is the most digressing we've ever done in my life but navigating. There just can't be clear enough there wasn't a window there was no window in this war veteran's top of them I'm absolutely away by that. I'm not going to sleep tonight. So what that is a good question. Are you sleeping today? How's your child sleep? We have said and finished a story about the drama GCSE that your stepkids did. Oh no, that was it. Just that they just that I think that was probably the most sort of cliche teenage the the the the the the the the the the the the the cl the the cl cl cl cl cl cliche the the cl cliche the the thine cliche thine cliche thi cliche thi cliche thi cliche, cl cliche, cli cliche, cli cliche, cli cli cliche, cli, cli, cli, cli, cli, cli, thi, thi, that was that was that was probably thi, that was probably thi, that was probably thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th is thi, th is thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that was thi, thi, thi, that was thi, th profound, incredibly serious, depressing topics,

which I think mostly their lives hadn't been touched by. But also that kind of inward looking can extend to just, you know, not being great at washing up and stuff like that, which is the more traditional thing, you know, of like. But no, that I'm very lucky. They're both, they're both brilliant. And they really, So Marcus, before he asked me to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry to marry the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. I. I try. try. I, try. I try. I try. to. try. try. to. try. try. th. I. th. I. no, that I'm very lucky that they're both, they're both brilliant and they really, so Marcus, before he asked me to marry him, he obviously didn't ask my dad because I'd have hated that and told him off for being patriarchal. He asked his kids for permission. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's nice. And you know, they said, they're really funny kids and they said, yes, crucially, but they said like, I think Alfie said something like, oh you, you didn't need to worry, we're far too, we're far too naive to realize how this will impact us in the future. And M said, oh, my dad's all grown up.

Oh, that's nice. So, did you didn't ask your dad walk you down the aisle, Rachel? Yeah, he did th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I they they said, they said, they said, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. th. th. I I I, th. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I said, th. I said, th. th. They's. th. th. They said, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're tha. tha. they're they're tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. they're. they said, they said, they're., bless. That's nice. So he didn't ask your dad. So did your dad walk you down the aisle, Rachel? Yeah, he did actually. Which was quite a traditional gesture. Because that's, when you look at that, it's they literally giving you away. It feels like the sort of like the weird tradition, isn't it, that you're giving away. But it is nice, but it is the...

That's it, isn't it? It's a nice tradition, but it is actually, if you look at it, like the same we've asking for permission, it is a bit like, can I have her? Cheers, mate. You're gonna pass her on. Yeah, drop her off. Oh, but let's don't actually ask the kids because you want everyone's got to be on board, haven't it, especially when it's a new sort of marriage on the cars. You don't want that drama at a wedding. Well, that's it, yeah, exactly, with the step family, like, it's been really good to

make. I was a youngest child yet, and I think that I kind of got my very much kind of realizing it's and I really hate to even say these words but it's not all about me. Also two comedians marrying as well there's a lot of who's it about. That's been really hard to take. Still learning still learning that. And so with the with your 14 month year old. No not year old 14 month old. Sorry. 14 months. I don't I don't, I don't, I've, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I've that, I've that, I don't, I'm, I'm that, I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I' that, I' that, I' that. I' that, it's that, it's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't, I've th. I've th. I really, I really, I really, I've th. th. th. that that that that that that th. th. th. so with the, um, with your 14 month year old, uh, no, not the year old, 14 month, oh, sorry, 14 month, we do this all the time and if I get, I don't, I've caught that of you. I've caught that of you.

Yeah, I know, I've, I know, he's spreading. Sorry, month old. And also, Josh, we, we're, Rachel. I think I'll take that as a compliment. But I want the serious answer as well at the end. I want to know what you're doing for your pubs. Sorry, Rachel, but we'll get that from the end. We'll circle back to it. We'll circle back to that. We'll make sure we plug Austin Taceous, your show that's on in London and then we'll get back you'd want pubs Jane Austen improv the end any other business yeah any other business yeah

so 14 month old yeah what was the question sleeping was that the oh that was the correct blind me this has been this has been absolutely these are the best ones when it goes all over the place there's nothing worse than a linear interview. Imagine if you just asked your questions and I went, yes. Do you enjoy having a child? Yes. Yeah, call yeah, me too sometimes. So you heard the s-doh-shipping episode though? Yeah, so how does sleep go with a 14-month-old, Rachel?

Do you know what? It's mostly good. He's been a pretty good sleeper from, you know, that point where they sometimes are a few months in. So he sleeps through the night. He's been getting cold after cold after cold, so that wakes him up in the middle of the night occasionally. But mostly he's good. He wakes up at about 6.30. It's mad, isn't it's mad? That's not, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, that's th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that's good. Yeah, I mean, that is, that is matted. Like, I'm so used to getting up at 10 before that. It was, it was obviously a big shock, but I think once you've been through that newborn stage of up every two hours, then you'll always forever more appreciate just anything that is a solid block of six hours is absolute luxury. Oh six hours I take someone offered me six hours every night for the next 10 years I'd take it now.

I've been on four and a half to five hours this week. Have you? And I feel really weird. How old are yours? Mine are six and four. It's not really been them, it's been my workload really? It's been my workload really work load. the morning shows. It's like it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not the the the the the the the the th, it's not the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, the, the. the. the an the an nenene ne ne nex. nex. ne book promo. They make you get up really early and go to all the morning shows. So it's like I've sort of been out all day so I got in late and then up early. Yeah, and then sort of broggy the day. But it's so doable because I'm just sort of used to do it now of just, you still don't have to set my alarm if I'm on Lorraine. Same. I still can't get over that, like, the concept of not having to set your alarm, like for the foreseeable, but also like having a longer day for the rest of your life.

You know, I was used to the day being from like 10 to 10 kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, and now like from six, it's just this extra few hours that you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. thi. the the th. th. th. to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. kind of thing. And now like from six it's just this extra few hours that you didn't have before. I mean yes you can't do anything with them to just be able to maybe. It's not like you can go frolicing and having incredible adventures but you know it's just nice to have those extra hours in the day in a way. And you was in you had obviously you had him in lockdown or sort of a weird sort of near-the-end version of lockdown I imagine. And obviously Marcus had two children before. How was it hit for him? Did he, was you remembering stuff or was he more experienced or were you

batting heads of it because it's sort of like it was your first time but he's had kids before? How was that? Did it work all right or was it frustrating? I think that there were things that he'd had kids before and that was a sort of relaxedness around a lot of the things that new parents would panic around and have so many questions. You know, I think he gave him a certain level of chill particularly with regards to like, just holding the baby and putting clothes on him and changing him. I mean, change it like he instantly was just fine in terms of changing and bathing and practical things like that, which was great. change it like he instantly was just fine in terms of changing and bathing and practical things like that which was great and but also you know for me like being worried about supporting every bit of their body and try not to hurt

their little arms when you put clothes on and being so delicate physically with them and not saying you threw him around but like but you do you do get into a point where you go they're not going to break. Yeah. Exactly. And he got there sooner because, you know, he's done it before. I'll never get over the soft bit on the top of the head though. Oh no, I can't deal with that at all. Oh, so like the cut, support the neck. Support the neck! Yeah. As much changed in parenting do you think in the intervening 18 years? Yes, I think it really has. He said it has. So, yeah, just a lot of the general advice

and obviously every feeding story, every labour, every birth, all of that is different for everyone. So that's not something you can carry forward from last time. And yeah, like all the food has changed, you know, like what's advised is changed and you do things at slightly different times,, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thus, thi, thus, th, th, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoo-a, thoooo-a, thoooooooo-a, thoo, tho, like what's advised is changed and you do things at slightly different times, you know, because you know how long we would have had him sleeping in our bedroom isn't how long he might have before and so yeah I

think there was a lot that was known. Have you clashed over any of it or was it quite seamless? He wanted him, he was pushing more for him to stop sleeping in our bedroom before I was. I was like, but what if in the middle of the life, what if he needs us and how will I know, how will I know if he's alright if I can't hear him breathing, I need to hear him breathing all the way through the night? And Marcus was like, I think it's very important that he moved into the same room. And what point was that? I think it was six months. Six months. Oh that's about right I think, six months. Yeah. That's about the normal time.

You do feel a bit like, oh yeah but I just need, the man I used to just watch their chest going up and down. Oh God. For hours, this is not helping any one. Just go and check they're not dead. The whole time it's awful, is it the thinking? That's why you can never enjoy a longer nap, you know when you get a nap that's longer than it normally is? Yeah. The last bit of that, I'm just thinking, oh god are they dead. So I can't enjoy the longer nap anyway. So I don't get the extra joy because you're like he's been asleep for three hours now. It's horrible. And they're, me? It's the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. the, the, th. the, the, th. the, the, th. th. the, the, th. the, th. th. th. they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not. I. I's they. I's they. I's they. they. I's they. I'll, they. I'll, they. I'll, they. I'll, they. I'll, they. did them, me and Lou, have got stuff in the loft in case we have another baby, right, Rachel, and, have you? Well, no, but like, that's a revelation. No, not in case, but a bit like, well, let's, sort of someone might need it or, you know, it's in case you have another baby. But if, so, what I'm trying to say is is there anything that Marcus sort of brought out going oh I've got this from last time? That is a 20 year old dusty car. Oh God I'm just trying to think now nothing major

I mean there's some cute stuff like his his big sisters like still got some cuddly toys in her room that he loves so cute stuff like that and there's still a few I think there were there were there were there were there were their there were there were their there were their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. I'm thi. thi. thi. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's th. I's th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm not th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. th. I'm th. in her room that he loves. So cute stuff like that and there's still a few, I think there were some baby books that he had. So yeah, the odd thing, but nothing, nothing, major. We didn't have just like a cot in the utility room or anything. There's a cot in my loft that's not been slept in by a child for what would be nearly three and and half four years? What's it's the plan? What's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, th, th, th, th, the the th, th, th, the th, th, th. th. the th. the that, tho, the the the, that, they, they, they, they, th. the, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, the, the, th, the th, th. th. th. that, that, they, they, thooo-a, thooooooo-a, they. So, they. So, they. they's, they. If you moved house do you think you'd take the car? The problem with the loft is you're never in there where when you're in the front room you're like I'll get rid of that or move that on it's in the way. Once it's in the loft. Yeah, we might as well just be there forever. Yeah, I would say that's someone that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the that's the problem that's the problem that's the problem that's the problem that's the problem that's that's that's that's that's the problem the problem the problem with the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. the problem. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the problem. I's the problem. I's the problem. I's that's the that's that's th. thrown. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. the throoooooooooo. exact reason to never have to see that stuff. Well no, but yeah, but all that will happen is when you have to move again, you're just reminded of the stuff you should have thrown away if you haven't. And when you moved, you go, this is a great chance for me to reassess all my belongings and then you go, I'll just fucking shove it in the loft. I've got a box of stuff from th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I' th. I've it th. I've it th. I've th. I've the stuff, I've the stuff, you're the stuff, you're the stuff, you' the stuff, you're the stuff, you're the stuff, you're the stuff, you're the stuff, you're the stuff it it the stuff, you're the stuff, you're the stuff, you're the stuff, you' it's the stuff. You' it's, you' the stuff. You' the stuff. You's, you'-a. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's, you. Yeah. I's, you. I's, you. I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, you're just, I'm just, I'm just, I've just just, I've just, I've just, I've th. I've just, I've just, I've just, I've thrown. I've just, you're just, you're just, I've thrown. I've the the th. I've th box of stuff from our flat before we moved into our house that I was supposed

to unpack into the flat but never did, moved it to the house. I just think it's straight off. So it's not ever been unpacked in two moves. Yeah. I don't need that stuff. What is it? Don't know. I've got two boxes of it.

I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber 1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers. Up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thuu. eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $499 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply.

Me and Marcus have, you know, like in every relationship, there's like key differences between you, yeah. Yeah, that's the same arguments all the way through your relationship. Yeah, definitely. I'm really chilleded and Rose and Rose and roses and roses and roses and roses and roses and roses and roses and roses and roses and roses and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose and rose is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. through your relationship. That's true, right, that is true. I'm really chilled and Rose is really uptight, that's the main issue. Yeah, that kind of thing. One of the things with me and Marks is that I'm quite a give it away, clear out kind of person in terms of belongings, with the exception of greetings cards of which I keep every single one one ever. Yeah, I do that. I do that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that. that that that that that that that that that th th th th th thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi kind kind thi kind kind kind kind thi kind kind doing that? I'm never going to read them. But he is, I think he would resent me using the word hoarder, but... But you used it. I have, put it out there. So he's very emotional and sentimental and pretty much everything he ever buys, even it's like a knickknack from Christmas, like that is, he's still got like sentimental value to him. So we are considering maybe moving house at some

point in the future and we were talking about the process of like, oh we'd have to like maybe put some stuff in storage to kind of get the house on the market would we? And then I suppose if we did do that that I was like that would be a good chance to decide, you know what to keep and what to give away that would be a good opportunity to go through th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, th. the, th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the know what to keep and what to give away that would be a good opportunity to go through and be like oh we haven't touched this for three years let's give it away and he was just really quiet and was like no no I don't think it would be good time to do that and I was like what it would wouldn't it because you know we'd be literally going through all of our stuff thinking about where it might to to to to to to to to to where it might go and whether it's going to come into our future with us and he was like no no no keep that we'll just keep it let's just take it all. I think you need

I think I think you need to be like a proper guidelines though because if it was you know like said like oh we've not touched that in a year let's give it the early stages I would have had to give away my penis. Of course. That was not touched for nearly two years, but I don't want to get rid of it. Just in case in the future, I've got sentimental value. There's memories there. Josh is like, you know what, we haven't touched this pub collage of Robert's face for ages? So was it, was it your place? Was it, was it your place? the place, the place, the place, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is it, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the future., the the future, the the future, the future, the future, the future, the future and then you moved in because that's always a bit of a dynamic isn't it? Yeah it's a dynamic good phrase yeah it was his place. Yeah so it's difficult isn't it to sort of go get rid of that but then when you do move to your place together that is the opportunity. Exactly it's quite it's one of those things that like you know moving is it's more than just a change of house. It is exactly, it's us for the first time choosing it, choosing it together. If you could pick one thing that you could just click your fingers and it's gone, that he's haulded. What's the one thing that haunts your dreams? Is there something? Don't make me choose?

Well. things. Also I'll really enjoy this Rachel. Normally we ask this at the end of the episode about what frustrates them about their partner that you voluntarily brought it up midway through. But that's good because we've got the pubs at the end of the episode. And also your ostentatious in proxio. That's next. That's next. Okay. He has got a lot of obscure obscure cooking equipment ranging from Bondu sets to like Oh slushy machines and yeah gadgets like that popcorn maker. He's got a spare kettle It's got a spare kettle. And I have three times I've been like we don't need to keep a spare kettle and he says he keeps it for touring but he's never taken it on tour with him.

There's a kettle in every hotel and theatre. I know. I know. No that is not acceptable. Also if you if your kettle does break you can get one off the internet next day or go to the shop or just use a saucepan for the top. Yeah in the meantime use a the small. There's a spare kettle. There's a spare kettle. the kettle so the the the the the the the the the the the the the kettle so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. So. So. So. So. So, the kettle. So, the kettle. So, the kettle. the kettle. that is. that is. that is. So, that is. So, that's. that's. that is. that is. that is. that is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. So, that is. that is. that is. that is. the the the the the the the the the the the the the that is. the the the the the the that is. that is. the that is. that is. that is. that is. that is just check has he bought that as a spare kettle or has he ended up with... No I think it's like maybe his old kettle that he just didn't throw away. Oh so he's upgraded but he's kept the old one as a backup. Yeah. No he's got no that is hauled in that is because then when what happens if another kettle comes along? Yeah I know you get a free kettle you go weird reason, you bring it home, you've got two reserve kettles. You can have one upstairs. I tell you what we are hoarding as well, pointless trophies. Pointless? Well the actual pointless one or pointless ones. The one that you get just for appearing on it,

on pointless the show. You get a little glass trophy even if you don't win and between us I think we've got five. Have you been on it five times between you? Yeah, I don't know you could go on it again? Yeah, you can because Sarah Pasco went on again without me after we'd won. Yeah, and then she didn't win it was fucking great. So you'd never go back on Josh? No I'm quitting while I'm ahead. So do you get the little one as well as the winner's one? I've got the little so it's like a kind of... You get the same you get the same one. Right. Oh dear. Yeah. Oh that's not. So Su Pollard left with the same trophy as me despite being absolutely dog shit are pointless. She's good fun though she's good fun. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So the th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So the the th. So th. So th. So th. So the the the th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So, the. So, the. the the the the th. the the the the th. the the the the the t. the the the the the the to. the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the about that mate, she was a laugh. She is a laugh.

But I tell you what, you have not known time go slowly till you've watched a producer attempt to explain the rules of point Mr. Sue. So, Sue, she's still doing gags. No, no, no, no, we're not filming this bit of their fortune. Come on, Sue. Just listen, it is's the opposite of family fortunes, come on. Just pick something they wouldn't say. Come on, Sue. Oh my God, it is just the opposite of family fortune. I've spent a lot of time trying to explain it to people. That's what it is. Yeah, we ask a hundred people, what didn't they say? Yeah. So you've got five

pointless trophies and then all the things in comedy. You do... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the the tho. tho. the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the opposite. the opposite. the opposite. the opposite. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoo. th. thooooo. the the the the thooooooo. tho. the theies and then also the thing is in comedy you do end up doing loads of weird stuff in your job yeah I bet you got some house of games trophies haven't you or like yeah yeah but then they look like their self they look like self portrait of markers because they're glasses yeah wait wait let me let me guess what other trophies you've got let me just guess what other trophies I think one of you will have got a celebrity mastermind trophy. Yes. Yeah, but he did win, but I don't know, we must have that. What was his topic?

Pink Floyd. Oh, that's a good one. That's quite a big one, isn't it? I don't know what other trophies you'd have. Those are the classics, aren't tho you traveling around the world doing different festivals? I'm just looking like literally next to me now there's the sword from when he was in Spam a lot in the West End is on the wall. There's just a massive sword on the wall and and there's also an alpine cowbell which he won for a skiing race this year so So yeah, it is random shit from going round.

That's a hard aesthetic to build into your front room. A sword and a cowbell. Yeah. Yeah. And five pointless tropi. Five duplicate trophies from the same. Surely you could just give them the way for a charity auction. No, I don't think anyone wants them because they're ten appointments. No, but there's too many of them. There's too many of them. Well, there's five in your house. Yeah, there's too many in our house, yeah.

Well, you know, I know this is a sore subject Rob, but you know that there's a six foot seven gold Greg but they're moving. So they phoned me on Friday and they were like, do you want the six months? Can I have it? I'm auctioning it for charity. For fuck sake. How much are you going to bid? How much? How much? I don't know.

Tell me how much it's up to, that round. Oh God, I would kill you. I would literally kill you. Oh God, it is difficult trying to chuck away other people's stuff when it's there flat to start with. But it's sure flat now, Rachel. You've got to just take that on. You've laid down roots your marriage. You've got a kid. You can't throw away the cow bill. Don't get me wrong. That's one of thaa the tha tha tha that's that's that's you know it's of aesthetic interest yeah yeah yeah it's it's nice as an aesthetic to certain people you know blind war veterans yeah in Juse Drama from Devon you're doing ostentatious the improvised comedy Jane Austench I mean how do you explain it obviously there's the greatest

pun of all time but can you explain ostentatious and then- The greatest fun of all time is a great way of selling it. And how and will you be taking your boy on tour or with you or not when you're doing the shows? Sadly no. I know like it disturbs them a little bit more he still comes on the odd thing if we go like as a family and stuff it's not like a baby that can just be sort of rocked in the corner he'll be just hairing around now so it's a bit tricky not thought about sticking a rough on him and he could be a little character of bowling oh oh my god so I'd fucking I'd fucking th thu-I've he's I he he I he he I he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he's he's he's to to to to to to to to th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho the the to toooo took took took took took tot took to took to to to to to to to to theen out. A little of a rafond and screaming. He's totally getting dressed up as Mr. Darcy, definitely, whenever he's old enough to do World Book Day, which is something I've just heard about from

parents. It's the most overrated day of the year. It's so much pressure on it, Rachel. I might send mine in as me and you for our book. Austentatious is happening, it's on tour at the moment, and then it's in the West End from November and December at the Arts Theatre, which is new for us, which will be nice. That's nice. A wintery pre-Christmas the West End run. That is a nice gig to be leaving the house for, isn't it? It is, isn't it? We've been doing it for a few years now and we just love we love doing it. It does it feels really Christmasy and cozy. And the blurp here is an entirely improvised comedy play in the style of Jane Austin. Join the All-Star Cast as they create a variety of funny new literary masterpiece based on nothing more than a title

suggested by the audience no two shows are ever the same. Now Rachel I've got to be honest if you. We do stiff and loose on this show where Josh is a bit stiffer than me. I literally have nothing on, I don't know. You could come out as Robocop and I'd go, I don't know where that's from in Jane Austen. So do you have to be a cross Jane Austen. So do you have to be across Jane Austen? I'm across it. This is why our partnership. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's is th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm a th. th. thi. thi. thr. thr. thr. thi. thr. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm a thi. I'm a thi. I the. I th. I th. I don't know Jane Austen. You don't have to be across Jane Austen at all. Right. We have people who've never seen a single thing about her come and enjoy it. It is just, it's very silly and very funny and stupid. But if you are a Jane Austen fan, which appears like cast off. Yeah, it's got like references and Easter eggs in there that you will

enjoy. But no, there's not a particular, you don't have to be a Jane Austen fan to enjoy it. You've toddler age now, Rachel. Are you maybe thinking about more or you're happy of the toddl? We know that you've spoken publicly about you had trouble with miscarriage and stuff like that are you in that awkward stage that Josh has written about in the book about that, you know, it's not just, oh let's try off another one, there's a sort of worry and pain there from what's happened before. Yeah, we are, we're sort of having, we're wondering that inevitably, because your kid reaches that age, you know, where you're like thinking about it.

And we just, I just don't know what's going to happen. I think that I've got possibly the more kind of biological urge for it. And I think Marcus is absolutely knackered. He's got three kids. And a fucking sword. A sword and a cow bell. He's got a lot going on. You know, and he's a bit older than me. And I'm a geriatric mother as it is. So... What age is quite insanely low when they call you a geriatric mother isn't it? What's the? I think it's either over 35 or 37. That's mad and no. And what's the age gap between you and Marcus? Ten years. Ten years. Ten years. ten years. Oh they. And he was a bit because my dad had he was married before, he was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was married, he was a because my dad had, he was married before, 10 year age gap, and then so I've got like half brothers, but then my dad was, my dad's 78 and I'm only

36, my brother's 34 so he must have been in his 45, 45 when he had my younger brother, his youngest child, he was a- Well my dad was 50 when he had me. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, so this is probably why I'm sort of like fine with and there's an age gap between him and my mom so like that's why I'm probably 17, wasn't it? That's right, that's right, that's right. Unbelievable story. That really was a geriatric kid. I'm pumping them out of 70 and 50 good on them. The old toy boy boy, the old toy boy? When Marcus is like, oh you know I'm of an age kind of and I'm like no. I don't accept that. You're not, you're young enough to have more kids and get rid of that fucking cow bill. Rachel's in town. Well I because I definitely think like, because when we had a miscarriage between our two children,

then the second pregnancy that we had was just tense. do you know what I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm like, I'm like, I, I, I, I, I'm like, I'm like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tole, the the the the the the the second pregnancy that we had was just tense do you know what I mean it felt like the first one you hadn't really comprehended that stuff could go wrong if that makes sense and so I think from just from my our perspective I think that would be one of the thing that would stop us if we were thinking about having a third would be the thought of it happening again to us. Because yeah. So I know this sounds weird. We're almost like, should we quit while we're ahead here? I don't know. That's that, but that's just totally my own. I have that feeling about, I mean, you know, I have birth to two

babies and I've got one brilliant little boy and I do have that feeling of like I know what it is to know what you've got you know and what you haven't so I've definitely there's definitely a huge amount of thinking to go into whether to whether to have another one because and as well you know in a blend of family as well it's not just about whether you're willing to risk a loss and a trauma it's about putting an entire family through that. So yeah, it's a lot to think about. Which is why we just don't know. Which is why we're going back to talk about pubic right. Seriously, I do want to know what you're doing. to. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. their. their. th. th. to, I, I, I, I, I, I'm to, I'm to, I, I, I'm their. th. to, I, I, I, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their. their. their. their. th. th. th. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. the, th. th. the, the, the, the, the, th. the, to. to. to. to, to. to, to, to, to, to. to. to, to. to. to, to. the, the, the, the, talk about pubic hair. Right, genuinely, I do want to know what you're doing because I think you get a bit quite a bit closer. I wasn't actually steering it back to that.

No, no, I'm quite happy to, if you are, Rachel. Yeah, fine. Yeah, cool. So what's happening down there? What's your hair? What? No. bit. I do I I have to I have to trim my I have to trim my eyebrows. Yeah I know. How hard my eyebrows are. Okay. Hard. They could like a match on that. Yeah they're like they're like the trailer does not show what the film of the pubs. Yeah they're like they're like. Yeah. So what's it's. But it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. The true. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. I. It's. I. It's. It's. I. I. I. It's. I. It's. I. It's. I. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. silky, like, silky spider-wo? I'd say it's very average. Could you comb it straight?

I'm not, I'm not across what other... Alright, get yours out, I'll get mine out, we can find out. If you want to get across it or whatever you call you pervert. So are you shaving downstairs? No I'm not shaving down. But it's not that long. So you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the cubes. I the cubes. I the cubes. I the cubes. I the cubes. I the cubes. I the cubes. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. thus. thus. thathe. I'm just just just thus. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm just, I'm just, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is is the. It's is the. It's theeat. It's theat theat. It's is theat. It's is theat. It's theat. It's the. It's the it's not that long so you've the tubes just to be clear oh god I keep going back to Rob's armpit hair being four inches long three so that's that I've shaved a few weeks ago you sort of struck totally smooth arm it's lovely

wow and also the kids used to get a kid babies used to clamp on to it what you what you mean if I was top let's shave my chest the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the.e is.e is.eys.eys. theys. theys. the. theyse. the. the. the is was topic holding a baby then like my chest, that's why I shaved my chest and then it pulled the hair on your armpits and stuff. So does your child go to nursery? Well that definitely wasn't written down on a sheet was it? Here's a good one, then how do you split the parent in with markers? What's the split because you're both busy and in the same jobs where sometimes if you are in comedy and you've got a partner that works sort of nine to five, then it's a bit more obvious. But you're both out and about antisocial hours. So how do you split it?

And is it sort of done weekly? Basically we just share it about 50-50, you say it varies week by week at the moment because I'm doing late night mash for the first time since Billy's been born I've got a routine it's hugely time demanding like yeah it's like proper kind of full-time but weird hours weekly topical show and Dave isn't it so but you're reacting off the news so it's not like you're filming it seems so you're writing like on Monday Tuesday recording Wednesday into Wednesday and everyone keeps getting sacked it's hard to keep up. Yeah.

I thought you meant, I thought you meant on late night mash. I was like, Rob's giving some background. Yeah, exactly. Like, so we're, I'm right, technically this is my lunch hour from writing today. So for the first time, tooom. So like, I go to work Marcus is looking looking, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Mark, Mark, to work, Marcus is looking after him. We have part-time nanny now, which really helps take the pressure off, which we're very lucky to be able to have. But it's not, you know, it's not like full-time childcare.

Mostly we pass in between the two of us, depending on what we're up to at the moment. So at the end of late night Mash, which is this coming week at le, the we've still a bit of a sea change Marcus is suddenly doing a lot more touring and gigging and I'll be at home more. It is a challenge to never quite know what the child care situation is going to be that month you know you have to like really just the amount that I stare at my diary going to going. Oh God. That's what me and Lou find the most difficult. It's like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the th. I'll have the th. I'll have th. I'll have the th. I'll have th. I'll have th. I'll have the th. I'll have the th. I'll have have have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll have th. I'll have th. I'll have th. I'll have the. I'll have tou. I'll have tou. I'll have tou. I'll tou. I'll tou. I'll tou. I'll have tou. I'll have t know where I'm going to be and leave as Lou so like I'll have stuff penciled like Robin Romish filming day and then like three days before they go oh yeah can have your passport because you're going to India. I'm like okay

Oh god. So yeah Lou I'm gonna go to India for five days um is that all right? So just like oh yeah I'm getting picked up on four to go to like her her the to to like the to like to like to like to like the to like to like to like the like to like the to like to like to like the like to like the like to like to like the the to like to like to like to like to like to like to to to to to the their. I'm to to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the th. I couldn't co-me with that. And so, or you're just like, oh yeah, I'm getting picked up on four to go to like, Herefordshire to do ice skating. I'm like, oh yeah, so I'll probably go back quite late actually because it's a five hour drive, so. But yeah, that's the hardest is when your job is a lot of it is fun as well. Like so what you're saying about like oh sorry I've got to go to work which is going ice skating. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was exhausted after that. I had to go backwards.

Exactly. So then you're like, oh, you know, you're working and I'm doing child care and course it's joyful looking after your child but it is also hard work. And when our work, sometimes it feels like work, you know, when you're just going to like a sort of slightly crappy club in the middle of nowhere and it's four hour drive and sometimes it feels like work but sometimes it's like, oh, that is, that is a sweet job. Yeah. You're gonna have a really nice time. We get that all the time because I literally is filmed and then Lou can see that I had fun.

Yeah. So I kind of lie. I was really putting it on on screen. Yeah. I'm a great actor Lou. Yeah. Well, this is it, like know, it's hard work but it is also incredibly enjoyable. So you feel like you're cheating to a certain extent. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Luckily the last leg is an absolute pain in the arson. He's hated it for years.

Oh, the final two questions Rachel, you sort of half answered it but I think we can make this more about parenting rather than hoarding. What's the one thing Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, Marcus, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, the, the, the, the, and, the, and, and, their, and, their, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, their half answered it but I think we can make this more about parenting rather than hoarding. What's the one thing that Marcus, your partner does that really wind you up about parenting and what's the one thing that he does that you go, oh isn't he amazing? That's great. This is a really small, this is a really small thing is Marcus is not very good at being quiet and this was obviously more important when Billy was sleeping with us in the room. But like, you know, you have to creep in so that you don't wake him up. Marcus is no good at creeping and he's also not very good at whispering. He just is not... He can project, aren't he?

Yeah, it's just not, I would say he's not hugely like, discrete person generally. And like, now we always, before we go to bed, like, we creep into Billy's room to like, you know, check on him. And he just sort of like, opens the door in a normal way. And I'm there like, squeezing the door hand, turning it quietly, like, doing, you know, creeping into the room so th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the like squeezing the door hand turning it quietly, like doing, you know, creeping into the room so we don't wake him up. And Marcus just barrels in really. Oh, that would do my head in. And it does sometimes wake him up. And he denies these always like, it's fine. I'm like, why don't you just creep? So his inability to creep is... That's a good one. That's one of my favorites actually.

That's a strong answer. Because it's really, you know, you really hit the down on head. But yeah, Lou calls me a bit of a boomer. They used to call me Bowser, you know like Bowser from Mario. Oh yeah. You know he's bouncing bouncing in and stomping about, I'm bad for that. Yeah, me too. Maybe not all men but probably most men. Yeah, I'm a great creeper. No, I'm not, I'm heavy on the stairs. You've got massive Hobbit, Harry Hobbit for you. I haven't got massive Hobbit for you. You have. You have. You're size nine. You're not tall enough to be size nine. But it's not in proportion. Anyway, it's neither him or not. It's not a the thing. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I's th. th. th. the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the absolutely love Rachel. Well you're going to hate this but it's hard to pick because he's good at everything. He's really good. He's a really hands-on natural dad. Like he's just really enthusiastic, he just loves spending time with him which can be very

annoying as a parent. You're like, you're not even moaning about him to do it. He's just like finding it fine. But he just delights in him so much. Do you know what I mean? It's never a feeling. I never feel any concern or like that he won't have a lovely time. Like Marcus just delights in having him so much, and that's probably the best thing. That's really nice because it's horrible when you see friends that go, oh God, I've have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have the to have their the best thing. Oh that is really nice because it is horrible when you see friends that go, oh God I've had to leave him with him or her for the day and I just don't know if I can relax

like that be a horrible feeling but you're not enjoying it but oh that's lovely. It's so sweet when you see that someone's just like, yeah go and go. Yeah, go and go's having to go off. And he's such an enthusiastic person, so you can see that as a dad. Oh, Rachel has been amazing. Thank you and good luck with Austentatious the show. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thanks Rachel. Thank you so much, Rachel. Thanks for having me.