Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP34: Dan Schreiber

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant writer, podcaster and comedian - Dan Schreiber. Dan's new book 'The Theory of Everything Else' is available now. https://harpercollins.co.uk/pages/thetheoryofeverythingelse And the hit podcast 'No Such Thing As A Fish' is well worth a listen. Thanks, Rob + Josh. We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. when none of us know what we're doing. Visit continue.york you.c.c.a. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nisprosso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more or an espresso boutique near you.

Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with Martha, can you say Josh Whittagum? Yeah. And can you say Rob Beckett? Yeah. Okay, thanks. There we go. That's a good one. Oh, fuck. I wasn't recording Michael. is that all right? You've changed since we've gone to Spotify. You're so slick now. It's like working with a different man. What, Michael? No, you? I wasn't recording. I'm joking.

All right, sorry, yeah. Farkin' out. I'm knackered. What's going on? What's going on? Working too much? loads of shagging. Loa loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loa, loa, loa, th and, th and Kids keeping you up? Not really. Working too much? Loads of shagging? What's up? What's going on? Loads of shagging.

Loads of shagging. Too much going out and shagggin is it? Let's just say this before we move on. This is Martha, who is 17 months old. We live in Teddington, along with her one month, Molly who's been a superstar throughout it all. I'm working my way through the back catalogue and on to season four now. I've got no idea how many seasons we've done. No? It just seems to just be one long season to me. I hope you continue to be so very relatable. Cheers Morgan. There we go. Yeah. So this week I've got the private jet to my gig and it was late Josh. I've got the school quiz thi. to me. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I the th. I've the th. I've the the the the the tho. I'm the the the the to to to to th. thi. I'm to the to me to me to me to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I've the. I've thean. I've thean. I've to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thea. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. got the school quiz this week, Rob. Oh have you? Oh, you're hosting.

I'm hosting and writing the quiz. How do you feel about it? A bit nervous. That's not like you? I'm just out of my comfort zone. Because it's not very funny. It's a quiz. And you're like, am I trying to be making this funny?

Or am I trying to just do a quiz? Do you know what I mean? Right, so I say with a quiz, you write the questions straight. Don't put any jokes in there really. You could do a couple of like wacky ones, but I think sometimes that's a bit eggy. No one wants you fucking around with a quiz. They come out for the quiz, not for me going. You know. Exactly. Keep the quiz, the team names. People will be chipping. You've got the skills to give them a bit of crap back. Yeah, the team names is a good area. I've forgotten about the team names. Yeah, exactly. So I think team names, I think you'd be fine. So where is it in the school? No, it's a pub? Is it the pub? And how many people are coming? Don't. There's a mict. T. There's a mic. There's a mic. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tea. tea. tea. tea. There. There's. There's. tea. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There's. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a te. It's a te. It's a tea. It's a tea. It's, the Parent Teachers Association, what I'd say is

there's a lot of people in there. I'm in a group, there's a lot of voices, there's a lot of opinions. No, no, it's just one woman I'm dealing with. There'll be different people when you're there. Can I predict what's going to happen? Yeah, it's not going to happen. It's been a very professional, thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapape. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. t. t. toda. toda. toda. toda. I's, toda. I's, tho. I's tho. tho. I's tha. Yeah. You're this lovely lady that's put... It's not going to happen. It's been a very professional experience from start to finish. Yeah, of course. However, you'll be the person who's actually in charge, who's been dealing with you.

When you get there, hi, it's Sarah, I'm part of the PTA. Okay, you don't know who she is. Hello Stephen here from the PTA. Yeah so when are you at what times it started Josh? Eight. Oh hello there it's Claire from the PTA we need to finish at 10 because a lot of people need to get the last train home. Oh hi there it's a pool from the PTA. Oh hi there it's a pool from the PTA have you got the prizes? Oh thrown. Have you had a bad experience? However, thi' tha. tha. tha. tha. thu thu that. that's that's that. that's that. that. that's that. that's that that that that that that that that the that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that train. train. train train train train train train train ho' train train ho' that that that that, to do this podcast and still go to school. Yeah, yeah, of course. So you haven't had a bad experience. Hypothetically, this could be an experience you'd had. All I'd say is, with any association, comms is always a problem. Right, okay, yeah, good.

Good. Good. Good. . . . . .

. . Musk is currently dealing with. Exactly. I'm just saying when it comes to the PTA there's a lot of people giving up their time to help and there's a lot of people that have opinions on how it should or should not be done. Well I'll let you know how it goes. Do you want some questions? Yes give me a quiz question. Okay oh I've got them written in a book. Should I go and grab the book? I've got them written out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the book th. I've the the the th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho. I've th. I've thoo. I've thoo. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've th. I've th when I had my two hours in the cafe? You took a little notebook? I had a book and I was like, can't get your little book? And I was like, this is an ideal chance to get this quiz knocked out. Right, okay so you've rushed it out in two hours? No I haven't finished it. What was take that's first number one? Never forget? Well you did. Well you did? Oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho the thi, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho. I th. good. See, that's the kind of stuff. That's the kind of stuff I'll be throwing out there.

That's the stuff. Yeah, pray. Pray. Oh yeah. Pray, yeah, I remember that. That's exciting, Josh. You're excited about it? Yeah, I am excited, yeah.

Oh, I should say they'd never seen anything like it. No, they didn't. That could be taken in both ways. Yeah. They said she's so good they like to remove her from the school. Right. Yeah, we can't deal with a brain like this. Yeah, we can't. Let's get rid of her. Yeah. Let's get rid of her. Yeah, we're gonna. Let's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they th. That th th they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they can they can be they can be they can be they can be they can be they can be they can be they they they they they they they they they they they th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the ta. the the the the the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the. to sit on the small chairs. Oh that's a power play. No, so did the teacher. Really? What's that for everyone or just for you because they saw you coming in? So we went into the classroom and she was like take a seat and the seat was like, it was like a hobbit house. Quite enjoyed it? But anyway, did you like it? It feels fun doesn't it on the little chairs? like we had 20 minutes and I felt like we didn't have enough. 20 minutes is a long time. Yeah. But you felt you could have done longer? No, I felt like we've done some interviews on here Rob while you're watching the clock. Oh so you're a bit bored at 20. No, it wasn't a bit bored. That's not what I said. I'm saying I didn't bring enough stuff to discuss. Yeah when they go any more stuff to discuss. Yeah when they go any more questions? I'm th. I I'm like oh shit I haven't got any more questions. Did you ask any questions? Rose Rose has lots of questions. I'll be honest I was a bit of a passenger.

Thank you. But she's fine and she was she's getting on all right your daughter. All good all good all good oh that's nice yeah well well done do you want a bit of correspondence before we bring on our guest two pieces please here there the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do.. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. I. I. th. I the. the. pieces please. Here we go. Daylight saving slash more tired than Josh Feature. Yeah. You're not actually that tired anymore but this is the... No, I'm fine at the moment. Here we go. Last October, our baby were seven months old and sleeping so badly that my partner and I were doing one hour shifts. Felt. Fuck thu-I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thah. toda. toda. toda. today. today. today. today. tired. tired. tired. tired. tired. tired. tired. tired. times when I had to do double shifts because my husband had slipped through his alarm. I think one hour's too short. What's the point? One hour's not enough, is it?

Anyway, they're doing one hour shifts. Yeah. Each to their own, there had been time to do double shifts because my husband had to, I'd slept through his alarm. So it's fair to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say, to say, I's, I's, I's, to say, to say, I's, to say, to start, to stop, to stop, to stop, to stop, to stop, is to stop, is not to stop, is not to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop their their their their, is not their their, is not their, is not their their, is not their, is not their, is not their, is not their, is not their, is not their, is not their their their their their, is not their their their, their, their the their. th I hear an alarm got off and my husband, who was conscious not to sleep through another alarm sluggishly came downstairs ready to start his shift. He enters the room and says, that was the shortest hour of my life. He breathed a sigh of relief and I explained the clocks had gone back and he'd only been upstairs for five minutes.

God an hour shift that is insane! At least three hours. There's no point to you. You've got to. You've got to sleep, you're up again? Oh my God. Roshine and Rich in Dorset. Parenting Fowl.

Hi, Rob and Josh, I thought you'd possibly appreciate a top parenting that happened to me. I was trying to explain the flu vaccine, the one up the nose. Have you thought I had this yet? Well, they spray a flu vaccine up their nose at school. Yeah, I think she has. She definitely had a flu vaccine, yeah. Yeah, but it's a nasal spray up the nose. Right, okay, yeah. Anyway, so I was trying to him running around telling

anyone that will listen that I made him get piss up his nose. Oh my God. Crying, I don't want piss up my nose mummy, don't make me and telling his friend, mummy made me go to a lady who pissed up my nose. Oh my god. That's a racial. Pss. Oh Josh I to tell you, I'm recording this from Tom Allen's house. Oh yeah. It's exciting, isn't it? As Lou finally made the big decision and left you? Do you know what if you did and I moved in here I'd love it. It's so nice. Yeah, I don't know if Tom would. It's so quiet. Yeah, and it's so clean and it smells wonderful, Josh. Yeah, I bet it does. And like, you know, when sometimes you go around like a friend's house, yeah, and especially like a work mate, you know, we do the same job essentially me and Tom, and I'm looking around his house, I'm like, his house is so much nicer than mine.

Yeah. And you know, when you work with someone, you sort of, at the same level as a job, you sort of start What's it earning then? What am I earning? You know that? You know that? Yeah, but he just hasn't got kids, right? Exactly! He's got nothing to spend his money on. He's got so much better than mine. And I'm like, why is it better? I'm like, because he hasn't got children costing him money. Yeah. I've seen the other've got a subscription to Disney Plus.

Do you know what? It's to smell more than anything. Well, you just get some fucking scented candles, Rob? No, it's no, a scented candles will not do enough for what my children producing our house. Right, what do they smell off? Well, we've got a dog, we've got a cat. There's always someone having a shit. A shea sa, their, their, their, their, their, their, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to to to to thin, to to tooooooooooooooooooooo. Well, too. too. too, too, thi. Well's getting cleaned up. You know what it's like the kids.

Tom's life sounds sterile, Rob. It sounds sterile and boring. It's not, it's great, it's so calming. No I know, who was I trying to convince that I didn't believe it as I said it. Anyway it's got lovely house so he's very nice he let me use his back room Mmm, mm-hmm. Yes. Ah, a bit of fun. She's using your backroom Tom. Is that okay? Did you both have a big laugh about that when he said that? Oh, yeah, great laugh.

Yeah, good old laugh. And then he'd done a funnier version of it to me and I laughed at that more basically because that's a very funny man. Yeah. really a trigger warning. It's the opposite. Email warning. Okay. We talk about something that our guests child said as a three-year-old. We won't ruin it. But we'd love your emails if you've experienced similar things. Yes. With a child confessing to having a previous life. Yes. Yes. But don't just say yes or no. Give us the details. That's enough. Oh well it's ruined it? Well. Well maybe that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thie. the. tie. tie. tie. tiea. tiea. tie. tie. tie. teaseasease. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. th Yes. Yeah, but don't just say yes or no, give us the details. Has your child been reincarnated?

Yes, they have. Yeah. Over here's Dan Shreiber, very funny man, one of the Q-Ives research elves, no such thing is a fish podcast. He's got a brilliant book out. And he's a very funny man, dad. to the Dan. Well I've not seen you for ages. We've gigged together years ago and then you've gone on to massive success with no such things of fish, podcast. Do you still do stand-up Dan? No, I haven't done it. I do it as part of the podcast because we do we do, we do live shows and we have a first half so I sort of put a bit a bit bit together together together together together together to to to to to to to to to to together to to the to to the to the to the to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to together. together. together. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. t. We have a t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. toge. toge. We. We. We're. toge. We're. We're. toge. We're. We're. toge. We're. We're. toge. toge. We've. toge. We've. We've. tog. t. a bit together for that. But you and I, we were actually flatmates in Edinburgh many years ago for about a week period.

It was like a week where... Where was that? Which one was that? Could I just say, I've never been more pleased the cameras are on because Beckett's confused face at that point. It didn't blow my mind. How do I not knowthat Hills Jay goes flat? No, no, I was staying with Eric Lamper, and Reese James and Lloyd Griffiths and you came and you just crashed on our floor for a week.

Yes, I remember that, yeah, so do you? Do you? I do now, but basically Lloyd was up there, staying with you and Reese, but I remember I just slept on Lloyd's floor for five nights, but I was pissed for five days because I didn't do a gig, I just slept on Lloyd's floor for five nights, but I was pissed for five days because I didn't do a gig. I just came up on a jolly. And I remember now I was seeing you sort of in the kitchen. Did I give you any money for that? No, I don't think so. No.

There's always been a mystery about this house. There was always been a mystery about this house. I remember coming home one day. staying with us where I went to the bathroom and up by the bathroom there was a sort of like hand towel bit just by the sink where you can you know wipe your hands I was looking at it one day and it was just smeared in shit like just like flat out someone had their ass on it but then just put it back I blame Lloyd that I blame Lloyd that's why that is the tow the towel no so I thi I the problem I the problem I the problem I the problem I the problem I the problem I the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the th th th I they is the th that that that that that that that that that that that that that they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they the they they the the the they they the they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're to to apologize because of the towel. No, so I think the problem in Lloyd Ad in the world of comedy was we're not geysers in our world of Grimsby and South East London. We're the Lovie Dovey so we assume that we aren't being that badly behaved but then I think actually we were awful. Welltowel for best in Grunsby.

Anyway, Dad, it's great to see you again after sharing a thing that I forgot about for five nights. Is it flatmates if it's five nights so? I think so. Well, if I meet someone, I tend to say their friends. Like, Josh, I've only thum, I've only tho, I've only thuuuuuuu-I thu-I thu-I thu-I've only thu-I've only thu-I've only thu-I've only thu-I've only thi, I've only thi, I've only thi, I've only thi, I've only thi, I've thi, I've thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. that thea. tha. that why not why not the fact you know you've bumped into me two you've got an encyclopedic knowledge of when you met people Rob did sleep on your floor for five days so you should know that so Dan can you introduce us to your how many children have you got let's get this out first and foremost before we to crack on I have three kids and I heard my third kid thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus th thus to to to thus the to the to their their their to to their their to to to to to their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to the. the. theeeeeeeeo. toe. toe. toe. toe. to toe. their their their their their their their I'm fresh. Yeah, third time it doesn't get any easier.

I've worked out. No, who knew? Yeah. That's good to know because when you've got two you sort think well, we're so good at it now. What's another one? Yeah. All the stuff that I forgot is just come back the sleepless nights that I thought, God, were they this bad last time? And I spoke to a friend, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, who, who, who, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's their, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who.. they. they. they. they. they. their. their, who, who, who, who, who, who's, who's, who's, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their, who's their. of it the other time as well. Oh my God. It just doesn't get easier, but now you've got two little ones to deal with as well at the same time, and they're sleeping patterns, and so I've got a five-year-old, a two-and-a-half-and-and-then now a 12-day-old. So flat. Okay, so the first thing I forgot happens is that you dread the night in a way where the lack of sleep becomes so great that when you first wake up for the first feed and it's something like 2 a.m. you kind of go thank God is 2 a.m. At least we're a bit into the evening. Last night was the horror of waking up and discovering it was 1030pm and already feeling that good and being like, fuck.

And so yeah, it was a long one last night and then we've got two kids who still come into our bed all the time and so we're dealing with this kind of jigsaw piece of how do we, because we have Kit, my new son, my latest son. My new new EP? My new draw. Is it right you're promoting him on this the the th? th? th? thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi? thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. It's, thi. It's, thiiii. It's, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Is it right you're promoting him on this, yeah? That's what you're belonging. I've got this new son kit, yeah? He's available to you babysat at any time. I mean, the reason we tried for a third kid is because we wanted a little girl.

We thought that'd be really nice. Oh, that's good for him to hear in a few years. Yeah, I hope he comes comes th back to these shows, I understand how he is. It's quite funny actually because we went and we got a private scan to see if it was boy or a girl and we hadn't told the person doing the scan if, that we'd had kids before. And so she did this big thing where it was a big reveal with lights, D experience. But she would, it's a boy! And both me and Fidel just went, oh fuck. We just... She was, yeah, so confused. Are you going to go for a fourth then, continue the hunt for... No!

Well, give it a couple of years. Chase it down. I know, because we'll forget, you're right. We will forget and then just go again. And then have another boy. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.

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great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tasks like Miller time. Learn more at MillerLight.c.c.a. Must be legal drinking age. You're so positive and relaxed Dan because like, yeah, we've met obviously we were flatmates. Obviously we're flatmates. Obviously that goes without saying that we were flatmates. Get out of that with flatmate. The old shitsmere sisters, you know, me Beckett and Shribe. Old Shres Beckett and Shriver. Back on the sofa again. But whenever I come away from gigging with you, I'm like, I feel happier now because I've

been in the company of Dan Shriber. So how are you still this jolly with a 12-day old son? Yeah, no, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I guess, I I guess, I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that guess that's just my way of being really. I'm fairly happy. I really related when I've been reading and listening in sort of like I'll listen to a chapter and then go back and read bits of your book parenting hell and there's so much I relate to, particularly the chapters with both your wives talking about the relationship that you guys have with your kids versus the relationship within the family household. It's exactly the same thing. That makes me worried for you Dan. But I know where you're at so I'm there that's the same. We're all under shit. So let's rejoin you it's 1030 p.m. Yeah. You've just woken up for the first time. Yeah. How long did it take to get back to sleep? So first was because we're

bottle feeding my son because we had the most chaotic of mastitis cases my wife had in our first child. Well that's brutal mastitis. Yeah man like she has it to a level where doctors are like I've never heard it this bad whenever we talk about it and midwives it ended up in surgery. Oh oh she had an abscess that formed in her breast had to be taken out. It was horrific so. Can I do a quick ignorant bloke thing here? What's my stitis is to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the n. to do the n. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. Oh, thi. Oh, oh, thi. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. that's that's a thoo. thooo. that's that's thoo. that's brutal, that's brutal, that's brutal, that's that's that's that's taken out. It was horrific. So... Can I do a quick ignorant bloke thing here? What's my status? Is that something to do with the nipple and breastfeeding? Yeah, right. It's the milk ducks they get clogged up and it's breastfeeding and it can happen with multiple things but yeah it's when breastfeeding turns into a nightmare and a lot of women we bottle feed now. So the first thing at

1030 is the negotiation who's doing the feed to begin with and that's a quick negotiation because I lose. I have to do it. Actually, Fanella will do the sort of like 2 a.m. and the 4 a.m. the real hardcore ones I shouldn't complain about that. Yeah it's the hardcore session that isn't it? Yeah, I mean they really are as well. Those 10 p.m. 6 a.m. Pussy sloat, the Sunday pussy slots, that you're strolling around in tribes. Sorry, pussy slot, the sound of disgust. Is this the kind of stuff you do on those such things of fish with the Q-I guys? Yeah, this is, yeah, this is the thu, yeah, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, I thu, I thu, I's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's the that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's kind, thr. thr. th, that's that's th. that's th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the. th. th. the. th. that's t. to. t. t. together. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. to get you on. But that's kind of what it is, right? There's not much story to tell. You just get up, you feed, and you get back into bed.

And he's really kind of the burping. I thought I'd nailed. I thought two kids now, I'd nailed how to do that. But it's just, they've each got their own ways. Fuck burping. Yeah man. It's impossible. I just don't believe it's possible and anyone that can do it is just flu- they were just gonna burp anyway. You've just fluked it. I just I just don't believe it's- Do you think it's a lie? I think it's a lie? Really? I think it's a lie? Yeah, this is my moon landings. This is the hill I'm gonna die on. I just can't do it. Can you do it? No, I sort of, they looked uncomfortable so you sort of like lean them on your hand and then rub their

back and I had sort of agreed I was like I more did it to show Lou that I was trying. Yeah exactly. As I was doing it I was like this is this cut. I've never had to do that as an adult no no. No. And they're just just just just just just just just just just just just they're just just point? Yeah, okay. Every child's a little adult, right? Do you find though, Dan, because obviously it's your third, like when you say it's quite, obviously it's labor intensive getting up in the night and you're tired, but it's quite easy, but then do you think that's just because you're not psychologically worrying about it? Because you're more relaxed, because you've had to to already thrown, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, so, so, so, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, because, to, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because had to already. Yeah I'm way more relaxed this time. The first two I was convinced that he would stop breathing in the middle of the night so I found it impossible to go asleep. We'd have to check him every two seconds. I've lost that bit to an extent now but I'm definitely a nervous dad. I think

mainly because I'm just really shit in life. That idea that we're looking after a tiny little vulnerable child. And he's thagh. thaghine, thagagagagagagu, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I' thi, I' thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I's th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I's thi, I's thi, I'd thi, I'm thi, thi. thi. thi's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. So, thii's thi. So, thi, thi. one so he's tiny. My whole thing is it once they get to that size where they feel unbreakable then you can relax a bit but when they're still floppy it's it's just nerve-wracking. Yeah I like a baby sort of tiger loaf size. You know that tiger break? Just that sort of like along the arm rather than like a little sort of floppy, underbaked, tiny French dick. Yes. they, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th, th is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thia' is just thia''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'era'era'er's just just just just just just just like bulky and solid, then I can relax a bit more. Yeah, agreed. So when we booked you on this podcast, you thought you were going to be talking about having two kids? No, we knew we had a C-section coming up. Oh, oh, sorry, but you had it three weeks early? Yeah. Exactly. And we had a, we had a emergency section and we had a planned C-section, was was, and was, and was, and was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was the, was the, was the, was the, was the, was the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, the, the, the, thee, thee, thee, thee, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, toing, theeeea, thea, to thea, to the ever been involved in. Oh yeah. Oh it's awesome isn't it? I don't think they should have passed the bong around. I thought that was it. I thought that was it. I thought that was... So the first kid I had Welf, he was born in 2017 and we were in

tumbridge Wells, that's where my wife's family lives out in East Sussex. And so- Royal Tumbridge Wells, they'll make you say, the in-laws. Royal Tumbrage Wells, right? The in-laws won't let you get away with that. It's royal. They're very proud of that down there. Yeah, it's cool hospital by the way., bring your own music, you can play your own choice of music, and they asked me to bring it on a CD. No. I mean, it's 2017. CDs were gone at this point.

And so I had the stress the night before my son was arriving of sitting with my father in law trying to find CD-burning software that we could put songs on to, who's an absolute nightmare. He then snuck on like three eight minute long Bob Dylan songs without telling me. So we're sort of like hoping to nicely time the birth to one of our favorite songs and suddenly Dylan comes on with Hurricane or whatever some long ass song that he's got. So this time around we did the same thing. I spent the whole evening burning another CD, picking out the songs we want. I got in there, I h h h h h h h h h h hand I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I tho. I tho. I's, I'm tho. I tho. I tho. thoom. to to to to to to to to to tho. th. tho. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. So, so, so, so, so, the. the. the the the the. So, so, so the. So, so th want. I got in there, handed them the CD and they're like, what's this? What do you think we're medieval here? Why do you think we have to see? Right, mate, five years ago you were, don't give me shit. And it was Bluetooth instead and so I

DJed while we were going. It was really nice. Because we only picked four songs and it took way to the full subscription. So I was going throughing th through tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. out? It was one of Fanella's choices. It was an advert he hadn't paid to the full subscription. Yeah, Lisa Matruses. It was a, what was it? It was um, Cinematic Orchestra, I think they're called, Build a Home. Yeah. I don't know. We'll play it in. Because we're now, I should say, Spotify is a great app we should add. I. I. I. I to say it. I to say it in. I to say it in. I to say it in to say it in to say it in to say it in to say it to say it to say it to say it to say to say it to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say it is to say it's to say to say to say to say. I to say to say to say to say. Yeah, I to play. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I to play it's. I to play it's. I to play it. I to play it. I to play it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I'm. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. I th. Yeah, th. I th. Yeah, I th. I th. we should add that. Yeah you've moved yes congrats I humbly back your choice to do that on Spotify I think it's the correct decision Dan wouldn't you agree right? Absolutely so what I was gonna ask is because you've gone early again for your third kid your old ones aren't in school yet are they so are they in nursery or have you? Is they in nursery or is funnela off work or should you're not working what's what's? their? their? their? their? W.? W. their? W. their? W. their? W? W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. the the the the th? th? th? the th? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. thi? thi? thi? to to to to to to to to to toeeuuu? toeuu? toeuu? toeu? toeuu? toeuu? toea? thooooooooooo? I during the day? Was Fanella off work or should you not work in? What's the setup? How busy are you?

No, yeah, so, no, Wolf is in infant school. Yeah, so he's in primary. And Ted is in a nursery, or a second kid, yeah. Oh, that's good. So they're at school right now, which is great. And people will be wondering about your accent? up Dan? I was born in Hong Kong. You were born in Hong Kong and I thought I was getting a bit of a Hong Kong from that accent. Was that what you were? Yeah. I'm a Hong Kong guy. And then I was there until 13 and then I was in Sydney so there's a bit of Ozzy in there until I got here when I was 19. Yeah and so how

different is the schooling now sending your child to school in the UK to I be honest??? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to the to be to be the to be the to be the the to be to be the to be on? I? I the the to be to be to be to be on. I was th. I was. I was th. I was to be to be to be to be th. I was th. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the. I'm the. I'm thee. I'm not the. Yeah. I'm not th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. with you Dan I thought it was American. Yeah most people do. Oh yeah they do. And I've lived with you. Can't believe it never came up while you were sharing a house for all that time. And you can speak Mandarin. Proficient Wikipedia recons? No, I used to be able to speak it really well. Bet you could have just said you are, and no one on tho. their their their thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Yeah, I th no one would check on this podcast. Yeah, yeah, I can say tongu-in. There we go. Yeah, you have to let it go a bit, to be fair. Real rusty. Never mind, no matter, don't let it get you down. So where are you in London now? Yeah, Southeast. I'm in Sydney. Oh, just around the corner then. Yes, Bromley boys. I've got a the the tha tha tha thine thine thine thine th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho' tho' tho' th, tho, tho' tho' tho' th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, tho. Yeah, thooooooooooooooooooooooo. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thoooo. Yeah, th. comic Southeast except me. Yeah, Bromley boys. I've got three Bromley boys.

You've got a big Sangebreeze there? Yeah, where are you? You're a South East? I'm Bromley. Oh, cool, nice. We're well close. We should have to have to a play date Dan. See you're the to have to accept, you're going to have to move out of East London

to enjoy your children. How did your postcode start down? What two letters? SE? Oh, here he is. S. E. Oh, you're in London. What about yours? B. R. Yeah, because you're not in London, Bromley. The London borough of Bromley. So, do you think, did you enjoy moving around when you're So your kids' childhood is going to be way more simple than yours. And so would you think, did you enjoy moving around when you was that age or did you find it like quite stressful? Was it just normal? Well, Hong Kong, I mean, it was only two moves, which it's not that big, but Hong Kong was a weird place to live because you had every culture smashed together and I kind of look back now that I'm a dad I kind to look back on how was I influenced not so much by the place I was growing up

but by my parents themselves because I think I'm definitely more product than my parents than I was the places I grew up in and I keep looking at my kids and thinne. How am I influencing them to be like what's the thing that's going to stick that makes th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' the the the the the the. the. the. That makes the the theate. the. the. the. the. the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. I theateateateateateateateateate. I theateateate. I theateate. the. theate. the. the. the. the. they do in life because you try and manufacture it to an extent, like all the toys. Such a stiff-knack. You're like me, we're nerds, we're trying to influence our kids. Rob couldn't give a fucking shit, let them run free. I just, to be honest, I think the less out of me is probably for the best. Let them find their own little journey. So my dad was from hairdressers. Yeah. What? The least stiff neck job ever? What? Accidental celebrity. They met in Hong Kong as hairdresser. So my dad was from Australia, my mom was from England. They got together there and they opened up a salon and there weren't really any western salons there at the time in the late 70s, early 80s. And then Madonna exploded into Asia and

everyone wanted western hair cuts. And they were basically the only Western salon there so yeah they started anyone who came in like my mom would do Madonna's hair or when President George Bush senior came in she would do like his hair and you know don't don't know that's the better anecdote and you know donna that's the better end of the anecdote yeah that's the better end of the anecdote yeah that's the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their their their. their their their. their their their their. their their their their that's a better anecdote. Yeah. Let's have a look at your hair, ducked down, Dan. My hair is chaotic. It's like I've rebelled. Oh yeah. It's good though, isn't it? Yeah. So did you meet Madonna? No, I never did. I remember meeting Anna Nicole Smith. Oh wow. Yeah.

If I did that one. What was she like? Well actually I was more interested in meeting her bodyguard because the movie the bodyguard had just come out at the time and so she had this huge bodyguard with her and my dad was like he's a bodyguard and I don't know I kind of just didn't pay attention to her. Are you sure you're straight? I know. Because if the older 13-year-old boy living in Hong Kong and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and Anna and I the think I'd be looking at her a bodyguard. Buff boy, bodyguard, yeah. Raging hormone, teenage boy, here comes Anna Nicole Smith, the playboy bunny. Who's that big fella behind her? He looks nice.

Meanwhile, I'm in the UK dreaming of meeting Anna Nicole Smith, and not a sniff of meeting Anna Nicole Smith. He just likes big burly bloats. Yeah, Kenny G. That was another highlight. Kenny G. Kenny G. He had a long kind of thin mullet, didn't he? Yeah, he had longish hair down the back. Do you know Rob? He's the saxophonist.

That was a tough job for a barber because from what I remember there wasn't that much of it and he was making it last. Yeah Kenny G looks like a cockapoo, isn't he? I'll go to dog groomers before her hairdressers for that. And did you ever consider going into the family trade? No, I actually I gave my son his first haircut, Wilf and I assumed that lifetime of growing up in salons would have just sort of osmosis come into me. So gave him his first hair, butchered him, like properly. I had to zoom my parents to go, what do I do? How do I fix this? Oh really? Yeah, just absolute nightmare. So no, I've got no skills in the hairdressing world at all. And are you passing on to them? Now I have met some parents that are their academics and they're lovely people, but I was out with them and their daughter knew too much for a five-year-old already.

Right. Now you are a man of facts. Yeah. Your new book, the theory of everything else, a voyage into the world of the weird, we will come to, but I first want to ask, are you someone who's kind of trying to pass on lots and lots of knowledge to your children, or are you Rob? I'm Rob. Are you? Yeah, all I'm trying to get into them is the culture of stoom. So for example, my son, we were watching the Tottenham hotspers match with Liverpool last night. And Wilf was looking at the uniform lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots lots th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the th. the th. the the th. the the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. the. th. thoes. thoes. the the the. thoes. th. to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. the of of of of the of of the of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the the. the the theateat. the the the the the the the the. the the the. the. th and Willf was looking at the uniform of Tottenham and he said is Andy Kaufman on that team? Andy Kaufman the surrealist comedian from...

Yeah the comedian who Jim Carrey played. Yeah the Jim Carrey played he said that because one of the toys one of the first few toys that I bought for Willf was from Andy Kaufman's WWS period where he was fighting the the the the the the the to to to the to to to the to to to the the to the to to to to to the the the to to to to told. to told. told. He was to told. He was told. He was told. He was told. He was told. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. toy. t. t. He.. t. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He t t t t t t t t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's toy. He's toy. He's toy. He's. He's toy. He's toy. He's. He fighting as a wrestler and the toy is released where he's wearing blue shorts, white leggings and a white top and Wilf just assumed Andy Kaufman must be a, so that's what I'm passing on. So you're trying to indoctrinate them into your tastes rather than your knowledge? Yeah exactly. I just keep buying them like they're toys. they're like literally mixing up Paul Patrol toys. theirork and Mindy toys and so they're into like 70s culture 70s American sitcoms and poor patrol. Basically 70s comedy. Yeah. I bought my daughter's load of resting figures and they had one of Rick Flair and Macho Man and they called it Oh, nice. Daddy and Romish.

Macho Man's got quite a tan mid-80s. Oh, that's awesome. I met Macho Man. I met Macho Man I met much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite I the tan quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite a the tan quite a the tan quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite a the tan quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite the the the the the the the the the. I met macho man in Hong Kong. I interviewed him on radio when I was like eight. No way. Yeah. More interested in his bodyguard? I thought he was the bodyguard when you see him. That's why he likes him. Yeah. Because you work on QI. I you're one of the QI elves. Are you still doing that? No, not really because when the podcast started eight years ago that really took off. And I was always really bad at the QI questions. I always came up with a lot of tubius crap stuff. Because that's what I'm saying, you're more of a, you're more of a loose neck in stiff neck clothing you are,

Dan, I'd say. You ride with the stiffnecks, be actually a pretty loose celebrity hairdresser, lived in Hong Kong, lived in. Who you won't know who it is because you didn't even grow up over it. Dickie Clark, no I don't know. That's not the kind of River. He was our celebrity hairdresser when we were growing it. Cool. So you sort of stopped working as a researcher on QR when the podcast came out. Was that right? Yeah, because that sort of, you know, we very quickly got a lot of listeners and we very quickly turned it into a live show and I just became obsessed with.... to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to their. their. to their to to to to their to to to their their their their to to to to to their their their to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their........ their.. their. their. their. their. their. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. the the the the the the try. try. try. try. try. try. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the trying to have as much fun with that as possible. So yeah, step back from that and a few other things. But I agree, I am, I love being

around the academic-y types, but I'm not really, you know, I didn't even graduate high school really. I went to a weird hippie, Riddle Steiner, which I found out recently is not hippie, but thatiner? Yeah, it's quite out there, isn't it? Aren't they obsessed with the number seven? Possibly, that would fit into it just as part of that kind of cosmic, you know, interest and stuff. Right. It's kind of like, you know Montessori, Rob? Do you know those schools where they kind of focus on the creators. Yeah, we're basically.

. Yeah. I just let him do that for a bit, they'll be alright. I think, oh I'm accidental Monty Storing. But they just so happen to be sat in front of the football on a Sunday. They decided to watch that, that's fine. But your parents a bit hippie-ish then. Yeah, we moved into a very hippie area in Australia called Abelon. And I was always surrounded by people that, I was always always conspiracy theorists or new age kind of people. I just kind of like that. Yeah, so Steiner was very much that. And will your kids do that kind of thing?

Or... This is what I'm trying to work out because it's the other thing. You're trying to emulate your childhood to an extent and go, well, that I don't know how I could afford to give them that kind of education. I'm going to try though. You thought about cutting hair? Well, let's talk about your book. In attempt to get the money so that you can send them to a hippie school. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. So your book, the theory, I'll be honest, right? We get a lot of books to th. This one isn't going on my wall outside the house. And that is the biggest cover of an I can pay. Oh wow. They don't even bother sending most of the books to me. I'll have this one though. So you cover loads and loads of different. It says on the front, ideas, beliefs, claims and facts in quotation marks.

Yeah. It says Dan, you've covered where the ghosts. Do they? Do you believe in ghosts? I don't know, Dan. I won't want to stay in a haunted house overnight on my own. Right. He can't do hotels on his own, never might a haunted house. I can't do hotels on my...

So, really? He can't. He has to take a special pillow and he doesn't like it. It's I've got a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. If that's not a ghost thing. So it's not that I believe in ghosts, it's that I'm not confident that they don't exist. Yeah. Okay. What about you, Rob? I don't believe in ghost, but I believe in sort of the universe.

The stuff going on in the universe. It's sort of like you think, your ego likes to the thinks. told you're going bit lucky with how the penny drops kind of thing. And sometimes weird things happen and it sort of links up and you want to put a label on it so you'll call it like a ghost. Synchronicity and stuff, right? Yeah, that kind of stuff. You're into that.

I love, that's my favorite thing when which is in the book, which is that in 1981, Ronald Reagan, there was an assassination attempt on him. And so he came out of a hotel, someone shot at him and his secret service guy, and his secret service guy, quickly grabbed him and thrown into the back of a limo and they drove out of there. And they worked out during the drive back to the white house, that he that he that he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he, that he, that he, that he, that he, that he, that he, that he, that he, th. And, th. And he, th. And th. And th. And the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, there was there, there, there, there was there was there was there was there, there, there was was was there, there, there, there, there, there, there, their was was was was was was their. And their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, the. And, the. And, the. So, there was, so the. So, so the. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so he was a the. So, so the. So, so the. So, so the. So, so there was there was. So, so, the Secret Service guy, went against all protocol and he said, get him to a hospital now, which you shouldn't ever do with a president, a random hospital. They get him there. They find out if they got there five minutes later, he would have died. So he managed to save the president's life and he was sort of heralded as a hero, sort sort of big character. The only reason that Jerry Parr became a secret service, the throth he was a kid he went to the cinema to see a movie called Code of the Secret Service, all about the Secret Service service,

and he fell in love with the lead character, thought it was incredible and then became that later in life. The actor playing the role of the Secret Service agent was Ronald Reagan. Oh yes, please. So he saved himself. He seeded it and... So that's what I'm, I'm into synchronicity. I didn't know what I was into.

Can I just say, of course it's a story from Dan about a bodyguard. What is... What is this all about? This bodyguard obsession? Exactly. It's all linking in and I'll wipe my ass on that towel for a story and a podcast in eight years time at the Edinburgh Frid. Yeah. But that's what I sort of believe. I sort of these weird things happen and people try to explain it

by ghost but that's a great one. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply, visit Amex. to the toxinx. I've got a good synchronicity story. We should probably talk back kids in a minute as well, but I'm quite enjoying this. Fuck it. We're going to come back to where the ghosts exist as well because I do need an answer on that. Yeah we'll do the ghost stuff next. When I was going to do my first ever gig I applied to do a gig. And they went yeah,

literally did it on a Wednesday and up the creek and I went yeah come down Sunday and like replied on the Thursday which never normally happens only it's months and months for those sort of gigs. Well, exactly. You can leave that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to apply I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the was literally the last person that emailed him. Oh so you were the... That's how I got the gig on the top of his emails but I laughed. Because I said how did I get this gig? It's my first everyone went to be honest you mate. I was busy it was the first email and I said come down to Sunday. That's so good. And anyway so I nearly cancelled it because club and I was waiting to put my brother up from the station I was like no I'm not gonna do it I'm not gonna do it and the radio a song come on the radio asked by the Smiths and it's like one of the lyrics is and Shiniest is nice but your Shinius can stop you doing things in life you like to do that lyric and I was like yeah actually I want to do it so I went to do to do to do to do to do it to do to do it to do it so to do it so to do it so to do it so I went to do it so I went to the the the to to the to the to the to to to to to to the to to to the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the went on in the interval they had like a playlist on that song came on and I heard that line. This was like in 2009 not like a

chart song. It's not even one of their biggest hits. Yeah it wouldn't be in the top five songs on Spotify the best the best the best out. And it's not a song that you put on on a playlist for a night out. No no exactly. It's not you know yeah so I was just like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like little weird moments. And I think people try and label it, but maybe synchronicity is the right thing, whatever it is, but yeah, that's what I believe in, but ghosts, are they real or not? Well, I don't, I don't, I don't know if they're real or not. It's the same th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. And, and th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, th, th, thin, th, that, thin, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, but, that, that, but, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, that's, thi, that's, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's, the paranormal and the kind of the occult I've got stuff in there. Hit me up with that. Hit me up with that.

One of my favorite things is the Beatles, right? So Ringo Starr. Yes, here we go. Here we go. Here we bloody go. Ringo. Do you know why Ringo St. It's where his drumbeat is just ever so slightly out of time. It's just like a millisecond lazier. So in studios, people like Dave Grohl will say like, they'll yell out like, give us more Ringo, which means get a bit looser with it and so on.

So the reason the only reason. So he, how does that? Yeah, so she was known as the voodoo queen of Liverpool. Right. That's what he called her. And she was obsessed with the idea that left-handed, meant you had the devil inside you. Did the exorcisms on him, he went back to being left-handed,

but he kept a right-handed kit. So he drums backwards on a drum kit, right? And in order to drum, to get to the Toms, if you're leading with your right hand, that's a really easy way. But if you lead with your left, and that means the Beatles have their beat that's what gave it to them. Excessisms yeah that's one that I like. Do you know what fuck parenting let's just talk about the book give us some more give us some more well okay

actually I've got a couple more yeah sorry girl I've got the Shane Warren one have seen his documentary because he's got incredibly strong wrists and it enables him to probably spin a ball so he could really do that spin in cricket and apparently he broke his legs when he was a two-year-old so his dad built him like a little skateboard. It was a wheelbarrow? He used to pull himself along of his hands on this little skateboard to get around on this because he couldn't walk and he was only two and wanted to play and it built up these huge wrists. that really were powerful when he was doing his cricket. Wow. He was amazing. I saw a clip yesterday last night about Freddie Flintoff when he was on Jonathan Ross's show and he was talking about how ahead of one of England's matches, someone told a ghost

story and he got so petrified that he had to get into bed with one of the other players and spoon him all night because he was worried too scary. That was like a me too story. No, it was consensual separate beds. Do you know Dan Ackroyd, it comes from a family of ghost hunters, like actual ghost hunters? Oh, does he? Yeah, they used to do seances and all that sort of stuff. So is that where Ghost Busters comes from? Yeah, it comes from him not parody?

It's him, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th he once woke up in bed with a ghost sleeping next to him and he thought what do I do I'm not sure and so he spooned it and just stayed the night with the ghost supposedly. Wow come on Dan. It's what he says! It's what Dan Akron does. And check this out. I only discovered this the other it was too late to to put in the book. I have I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have the book I have the book I have th th the book th th th th the. I have the. I have th the. I have the. I have the. I have th the the the the the the the th. He's hea. He's hea. He's hea. He's hea. He's hea. He he he he he he he he th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeee thee the thee the hea he's he he he's he he he he he he he he he he he he the book. I have a bunch of other ghost stuff in there, but Ghostbusters, you know Slyber? Yeah, yeah. That green famous ghost in Ghostbusters, the guy who was designing it couldn't get it right and it came to a deadline and he needed to get it done perfectly and he claims he did a lot of drugs and was trying to design it the night before it was handed in and the ghost to him, and the ghost of th..... the th. th. th. on, came to him and posed for him and Slimer is based on the ghost of John Belushi. That is in Ghostbusters.

It's mad. But listen, hey, on kid stuff. Yeah, let's just say that's the theory of everything else, is it done? It's out now, and it is, I'll'll just say it's one of those books where I just basically found stories Like the ones we've been talking about that you can tell in the pub in the dinner table It's got it's just all those stories that gives you goosebumps at the end of it That's a lot of bang for your butt yeah exactly. How are you finding these story? We will get back to go back to just last question? the the the last the last the last the last the the last the last the the last the the the last you the the the last question. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you you you you you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the one. the one. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. tell. It's all complete bollots. That's the thing. It's so hard to work out what's true and not true.

Because so much of it is just, like there's a chapter where a guy worked out that we could talk to plants because he was the CIA's guy who did lie detection machine. So he was the first guy to do polygraph and he attached a electrode to one of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the leafs of a plant and he started communicating with it because it started responding on the machine and he thought what the fuck is going on here and he worked out that there was a kind of teleconesis connection between him and the plant world and this was a huge boom in the 1970s where everyone like the reason everyone talks to plants now is basically because of this guy from the 1970s thinking that there was communication. But he thought we could start a police unit, like an elite unit who can catch murderers because he had two pot plants in a room and he had six people lined up to come in the

room and only one person was going to go in and basically murder one of the plants, and then that person was not going to tell the others that they've done it. So it was a sort of who did this. They all then came in a lineup and the one remaining pot plant that was in the room picked it out, picked out the murderer in a lineup using the polygraph and he thought, fuck, we've got plants that can discover who the murderers are now. We should get this out you read the story and you're like, where's the truth? I mean, there is no truth in it, right? Because it's mad of shit. But it's informed the world and changed the way that we all are now with plans. That's amazing. But I don't know what to believe in these stories. Dan was saying, I love these stories, I love the story, but how bored is your board is their is their is their is thapapapapapapapapapapapapapap. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, but, but, their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is, but, but, but, but, their is, but, their is, their is, but, but it, but it, their is, but it, but it, but it is their is their is their is their is their, but it is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is th, but it is their is their is th, it is th, it is th, th. th. th. thi. thi. thr. thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thi, their is thi, but it's the book, because weird shit happens to her all the time. She's one of those people that as soon as someone comes up to her, they just tell her their

weird story. We had a plumber come over. This was during lockdown. And he came in, said hi, and Fennella showed him, and I went, to the kitchen, to make a tie. told thine, Fino, Fan, Fan, Fan, thine, thine, thine, th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, th. thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, as soon, as soon, as tho, as tho, as tho, as soon tho, as soon th. As soon, as soon, as th. As soon, as soon, as soon, as soon th. As soon, as soon th. As soon, as soon th. As soon, as soon, as soon th. As soon, as soon, as soon th. As th. As th. As th. As, as soon, as soon, as soon, as soon, as soon, as soon. th. th. th. th. As, as th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. As, as thi. As thi. As thi. As thi. As thi. As thi. As thi. As thi later and went, God, what an interesting guy. I was like, oh yeah, how so? She was born in Kazakhstan, and apparently when he was a kid, he was sitting in a field and an eagle swoop down, picked him up and flew away with him. And I was like, hang on, you were with this guy for three minutes.

How did you get this story? And I asked him, and it big stick and was able to beat the eagle down. And a lot of people say that's not true, but a few years back before this story, I did meet a guy who was an Eagles who steal children expert and I saw a file of his. So I know that it is a thing that happens. But she's actually more a magnet for the weird stuff. And one thing that I didn't put in the book, and I'll be curious to see if you guys had this with your kids, because I put this up on Twitter and the response I had to it was thousands of replies from parents globally talking about a similar thing.

So this is the tweet I put up. This was in August 19, 2021. Interesting bedtime, today, today, thiii. a long time ago and my mummy was called Socky and I was called Anky but then I died and now I'm with your family. Oh my God I listened to a podcast about like a previous life thing yeah and they had all the details and stuff and it all checked out and they were kids and it was weird it was so weird because I don't really necessarily believe in that kind of stuff. I've not had that it it would freak me the fuck out. We were so scared he. He the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. the to. the the the the to. the the the the the the to. the the the to. to. th. to. th. th. th. the th. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. And. t............... t.. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t........... me the fuck out. We was so scared. He was asleep. We were just reading in bed and he just sat up and then he uttered that sentence and I quickly got my phone out and I've got a recording of the rest of the story of him just telling us me interviewing him and him explaining where he was and stressing it out. Oh my god. I'm stressing it out. I'm stressing it out. I'm stressing. I'm stressing him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him. I'm stressing him him him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him out. I'm stressing him out. I'm stressing him out. I'm stressing him out out out out out out out out out out out out. I'm stressing him out. I'm stressing out out out out out out out out. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm out out out out out out out. I'm stressing him out. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing him. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm stressing. I'm biting him in hours now, I'm panicking down. I've sat on one foot. I've sat on one foot, he whipped the foot up under his bum.

Oh, well maybe that's true, maybe we do have other lives and we're just a consciousness and this body's just a vessel for a bit. Guys? No, I'm just, I'm sat on to my foot now as well. So what did you do, did you research it, Dan? No, so I recorded him and... Did you ask him to spell Socky? Because that could be spelt in a variety. No, he started, when we were interviewing him, he started crying, like getting really emotional when he said, I was left, I was abandoned, and I was alone.

And it was really hard to work out where to push him in the conversation. And he was three. Twitter and honestly thousands of replies it still comes virtually every day even though it's a couple years old now people saying I was in a taxi cab in New York with my son and we were riding through any and he pointed out the window and said I used to shop in that pet shop and it wasn't a pet shop it was a delicatessen but then the taxi driver went oh my god and it's not there anymore. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm getting all itchy. I'm rubbing my nipples and I don't know why.

I don't know what I'm nervous but I'm excited. So you guys haven't had that with your kids yet. You haven't had the past life. No, I don't want, no, no. I don't. You think it's all bullshit. I don't know what it is. It tends to be, someone who follows me did a chart of all the people that replied with stories and worked out that something like 80% were people who had three-year-olds. It was in that gap in that vicinity. We threw it, thrown it, thrown it. Wow. Tha. Tha. Thouin. Thouin. Wow. Tha. Towowowa. Wow. Towa. T' thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. thoome. thooooooo. thoo. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to thi. to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thee. the. the. the. the. the. to to. them. Yeah, you've passed it. Yeah, just put a lid on it, keep it quiet, don't scratch the surface, that's what I say. It's always the best approach. Since you have a lot of followers that sort of, because obviously with the QI and then the podcast are quite into facts, you said one of your followers like, did a chart and analyze the data on that. And you know, I've got a few followers, I don't mean any of them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them th. I th. I th would do that. Is that Josh who does that for you?

He does that a stat to me, but yeah. I love a stat. That's really interesting. And so how did you deal with it with your kid? Did it come up again? Did you chase it down again? Yeah, I did, because I was interested to see how the story would change days after, and it didn't.

But then I th didn't th didn't thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi name stayed the same. But then I think it then turned into a performance because he is still a three-year-old. So you're suddenly like... If he's getting attention for it. Exactly. This is a fun story. So we were out in, I think it was a Hastings area. And he pointed at a building and said, oh, that's where my old family was. Come off it, mate. Come off it, mate. We're done. We're we're we're we're we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. that, we're that, we're that, we out. Change the record. You had your moment. Come off it, man. Much so much, you kid. Come off it, right. Cut the shit.

Dan, have you got any holidays booked with the newborn? Are you putting a line on the holidays until they're older? No, we're going to go back to Australia in my brother's getting married next October. So that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the tho's tho. the thoom we're the the the thoombue. they're they're they're thoombush. thoomff. thathea. tooomuuoes. thathea. We're thathea. We're thathea. We're too. We're too. We're too. We're to. We're to. We're to. We're to. We're to. We're to. to. We're to. to. We're to. to. th. th. We're the. We're the. We're thea. We're toa. We're toea. We're toea. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. to. that's the first biggie, I think. So you'll be flying with a six and a half year old, a three and a half year old and a one year old. Yeah, and the prices to get back to Australia. No one told me this about parenting, and I assume that everyone must have known it,

but I didn't realize that once you become a parent and your kid goes to school, you now live in the most expensive bit of the world. You can only travel when you're going on school holidays, which is when everyone's traveling. Like everything is at its peak cost in order to be someone now who exists in the world. And I didn't realize that. You've got to buy five seats. To Australia! Oh, and you're going to hate every moment of that journey, like the journey, not once you're there. You don't really want to go back for that fucking way, didn't let's be honest, Dan?

Since Zoom's arrived, I think we could get away with that. Yeah, it's my brother, I can watch it, he don't care that much. Yeah, we went back in March of thii. Ted was under two because that's another thing when you know you start paying for tickets when they turn two so it's a scramble just to get in as many as possible. Yes, that last one when they're still on your lap, but then you've got a 23 month old on your lap. This is boulder. And they don't want to be there. They need a chair. Yeah. Yeah. God. The first flight that we did. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. Yeah. Yeah. the first. th. th. the last. th. the last. the last. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the stop in the countries you should you usually stop in because of COVID restrictions in Australia so we had to fly direct to Darwin which was think was a 16 hour

first leg flight 16 hours so even though the kids were amazing the kids slept for 10 hours on the first leg and there's another six hours even even if your kids are perfectly behaved it's still awful yeah it's still chaos yeah and the fights that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi te te te te the te te the the the te thi the thi thi thi thi the thi thi. Even if your kids are perfectly behaved, it's still awful. Yeah, it's still chaos, yeah. And the fights that my wife and I ended up having on. We get on really, really well, but we were pushed to a limit. And when we got off the plane, everyone was like, oh, the kids were so good. And we were like, were they really?

And one guy just the parents were not. And apparently we were so chaotically yelling at each other. It's like, every time I sat down, Fidel and needed just another thing. Yeah, oh yeah, you're fucking, sorry. Why don't you tell me when I opened the fucking thing? Exactly. It's because it's 16 hour flight. We bought like all these activities. It didn't use any of them, but like, you know, as a result, there was like 20 bags, 20 different things that I had to fucking navigate to find the... It's definitely a dad job, isn't it, the bags? It was, honestly, it's the most stressful thing and not for the kids.

Getting it out the top. What we do is we get like a wheelie case and weigh, and then we put their backpacks in that. So it's easy to get to, because when you're trying to carry a kid's backpack in your hands, it's awful. Yeah, it's too many things. Fennella bought these ones where they sit on them and they can ride them. Trunkeys. Trunkeys. Oh yeah, but they don't sit on them and ride them. With their their their their towa. or under two because he can't move, oh my god, just a nightmare, whoever invented

the fucking trunky. Oh my, how long are you going to Australia for? I don't know, a couple of weeks I guess, maybe three weeks. Yeah, because that's going to be interesting for like a jet lag as well with kids, right? Yeah. Yeah, I have terrible jet lag so that's fine. It means at least you're up in the in the evening and also it's I'm around family so we can just give the kids we'll stay in the house and it's such a beautiful bit do you have you guys done Australia yeah I've been to Rob's just about to go to Australia yeah in next couple of weeks what are you doing you touring yeah the touring

yeah I'm doing Perth Adelaide Brisbane Camber Melbourne Sydney then Wellington well then the the beach the the in wel in the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. I I I I I I I I I wel. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. the they. the the the the the the the the tho beaches. We live right next to the beach where Home and Away is film. That's our local beach. Oh, Summer Bay? Summer Bay. Yeah. That's amazing. Have your parents ever done the hair of any of the cast of Home and Away? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And they still celebrate hairdresses or now? They're still celebrity hairdressers? Or now they're now normal hair? they're no. they're no. they're no. they're no no no. they're no normal. they're no normal. they're no normal. they're no normal. they're no normal hair. their. they're no normal hair. they're no normal hair. they're no normal hair. they're no. they're they're they're they're their. their. their their their their their their their. their. their. their. Oh. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the the the the the the their. the the their. their. the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Summer their. Summer their. Summer their. Summer their. Summer their their their their their the celebrity was in Hong Kong. That's all done now. They still have photos of Madonna on from like 40 years ago. Yeah. Hey, can I quickly say, I've been listening, my wife and I, part of our 12 days of having our kid every single night we've been listening to the audiobook of Parenting Hell. Yeah, thank you. It's honestly, we've been crying with laughter. Thank you. It's absolutely amazing. I think it's the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thee. thea. thea. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. the. th. I think it's one of the funniest books that I've read in years and listen to, get the audio book. Oh my God.

Well, thanks Dan for listening to it. Yeah, thank you. Guys, it's so good. It's so good. Oh, thank you. Well, to be fair us the end. We got the final question though Josh. The final question, yeah, final question. Yeah. What one thing does your wife do that annoys you that you haven't brought up but were she to listen this would be your way of telling her? And what one thing does she, how would you put this Rob? I always don't add to put the positive one? What's something she does is absolutely amazing as a parent that you forget that you that you you you you that you you that you that you to to to to to to to to to to to that you to to to that you to that you to that you to that you that you that you that you to that you to to that that to to that you that to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to to th to to tha tho tho tha tha the the tha the the tha tha the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha that that that that so the first one is she really needs to stop throwing away my retro toys that I buy for the kids.

Yeah, I agree with that. So just because Michelangelo from the original Ninja Turtles series is missing a leg, it doesn't mean he goes in the bin. It's a precious toy. So yeah, she needs to hear that. Can I suggest a storage lockup. We've just got a storage lockup and all my shit's gone in there. The other day I went in to drop something off and I just sat on one of the chairs that was in there for an hour. And... It was nice. Oh, you mean you didn't even play with any toys or anything? You just to get away? No, no, I just sort of sat there in the dark. solitary confinement? Yeah. Like a Hannibal Lecter? Yeah! In just a warehouse! A little

room in a warehouse! It is a bit like prison. It was quite nice. It was a Sunday. It was really quiet. It was sort of felt like the bleakies spatula pad of all time. So what's the positive thing, Dan? What's the great thing about Fanella? She's instilled empathy and kindness into my kids in a way that I don't think I ever could have imagined myself doing. I keep noticing how polite they are around people, which is not what I am. Like I won't say the formal sort of thank yous and pleases and looking out for making sure that everyone feels like they've been served a drink. Like she's so good at reminding them to look at the room around them and to make sure that everyone is included as part of the room with kindness.

Such an important thing to have kind kids and I couldn't have put that into my kids because I'm just too busy just buying them toys, whereas she's working on the core soul of them. And yeah, that's thing that she that she that she that she that she that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that's that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's. that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's working on the core soul of them and yeah that's thing that she needs to hear from me more I would say. Oh that's lovely thanks Dan. Thanks man. Good luck with your book on the podcast and thanks for coming on. Thanks man. Thanks guys. Dan Schreiber I love Dan Schreiber I love Dan Schreiber. I'm really excited about reading his book. I think I'm really the thinn shriber I'm th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thr-I thin's thin's thr-I thr-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I thrubl-I thi thi thi thi-I thi-I thi-I thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I thu-I thu-I th. I'm really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin-I thin-I thin-I thin-I tho'' tho' tho' thiii'-I thi'-I thi'-I'm thi'-I'm thi'-I thi'-I thi'-I thi'-I's one of the like whenever you get a gig of him why he sort of leave happier he's so positive and he's always got loads of facts. I reckon he'd be a great person on a stag dude just to sort of bond the two separate groups you know sometimes on a stag do there's like the friends from home the work friends the unne, just him in the the middle. Or he'd be the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal the ideal. Or he's the ideal. Or he's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their their their their their their their. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He's th. He's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's the the the the the the the the th. I's th. I's always th. I's th. He's thoe. He's the. He's they. He's live with and forget. And wipe your ass with his towel. Yeah, was that you? Absolutely not. I'd rather go out of a shitty ass and wipe my a tha's towar.

There's go, that's the end of the episode. We'll be back on Tuesday. I'll die on that. Dan Shriver by his book and listen to his podcast, really good guy and very funny bloke.