Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP35: You've Gone To Another Dimension

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Visit continue. York you.c.c.a. Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time

tastes like Miller Time. Learn more at Miller Light.C.A. must be Legal Drinking Age. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hill with Eloise can you say Rob Beckett or back and can you say Josh Widdigan? Good girl. Oh, that's good. That's nice. Hi, Josh, Rob and Michael. I've been an avid listener since the beginning.

You've got me through homeschooling lockdown and a change of career. Thank you for being so honest and candid about your lives. I think it definitely makes us all feel less like we're battling alone. This is my nine-year-old son Isaac, Isaac, Isaac, Isaac, Isaac, Isaac 23-month-two call it two he's a massive fan and listens to you every night Oh, that's nice isn't it he's nine nine oh nine he's decided based on that he's not having kids because it's too much hard work Thanks I'm just going through all the things I've said a nine year old He knows more than I knew when I was nine I tell you that he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he to I knew when I was nine, I tell you that. Josh, are you on fire? What is that? What's going on? I didn't realize it would be so visual.

I tidied my office the other day. I found some incense, so I thought I'd light it to chill myself out. But it looks like I'm on fire. I like the idea of incense, but I always just feel like hippie of hippie aren't he? I love it. Look I've also got a candle I forgot. Look at this! It's like lush in your office? It is. It is lush in my office. I tell you that for free. I would say though from the backdrop it doesn't look like you've tidied anything. It's exactly the same. What isn't tidy? What isn't tidy? There's tidy? What is the same? What is the same? What is the same? What is the same? What is the same? What is the same? What is the same? What is the same? What is the same? the same? their is their is th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi. their is like is like is like is like is like is like is like is like? Is thi? Is is like is? Is thi in is? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is th. th. th. th. th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is the same? Is th. Is th. Is their is l. their is l. their is lusus. their is lus. their is lus. their is lus. their is lush. their is lush. their? Is their is lush. thi. their? Is thi. thiii. thi. thii. thi. It is lush. the shelf which is fine, but there's crap on that shelf you don't need that you've just you haven't tied it. Those two dogs on the shelf there, they're holding the books on. So there's still loads of crap on your speaker thing. There's still loads of wires and bags around your guitar.

Yeah, that's Rose's Christmas present. Okay, there's something else. the Christmas present. Okay. There's there. There. There's there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. T there. T there. T there. T there. T there. T there. T there. T there. T there. T's there. T's th. T's th. T's th. T's th. Those the the the the the th. Those's the the the the the the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Those. Those th. Those to. today. today's today's today's today's today's today's today's today. tho. their their your printer. It looks a messier than it did before. And then there's smoke everywhere. It looks like a hit- I'm on fire. It looks like a Snapchat filter. I don't know why I'm on fire. I'm turning my video off. Oh, I'll turn it my off. I'll turn my off.

Oh, I'll tell my off. I think we should do a correspondence catch-up special. We haven't done it for ages because we've been banging on. I know, people send us stuff and then we just bang on about ourselves. Exactly, and this stuff's, honestly, I've gone through it. I'd say, pound for pound some of some of the greatest correspondence, a podcast or television show has ever received. What? I mean, now I've set myself up for a fall here because the first one's th is is is is is isterm blow off. Better than the stuff they got on the right stuff. It's the Vine Show now, isn't it? It's a Vine Show, sorry? The Vine stuff, sorry. All right, your references need to. You're going to end up, your career, you're going to end up doing stand-up like bands from the 90s and then you turn up and just do

observational comedy from the 90s about like Bruce Grobel are. Too bloody right. I can't believe I haven't been booked. Tidied the basement yesterday Rob. Tidied the basement, what's in there? Uh, not as much as there was. I tell you that. Good work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the th. the the. th. th. the th. th. th. me with some Corresponde. Okay, so you laughed at me saying blow-offs. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. For farts, hang up. So this is just a quick one to clear that up.

Lots of defense for me for the term blow-offs. And in brackets here from Michael, although a disproportionate amount from the Southeast London area. I'd say that's probably just a description of our listeners, a disproportionate amount from the Southeast London area. With all that local I was doing at the Blue Water book sign, you didn't know what was going and it looked like you been kidnapped. Here we go, hi guys, this is more global for blowoffs.

In regards to the discussion about blowoffs, I wanted to let you know when I was a small child in the 80s, in New Zealand, New Zealand, my the their their th and their th and th....... New Zealand, my th, my term blow-offs. Oh! I probably moved from Lewisham or something. Yeah, I'm going to New Zealand. So much so, I honestly thought that the F word was farts until I was around eight. Oh my word. Because it was completely tabooed to use farts. Wow. I thought this was normal for the time period in New Zealand but my husband finds this bizarre and his family only used a term's farts. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the f. I th. I'm th. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. the f. So the fared. So the f. So the f. So the f. So the f. So the f. So the f. So the f. So the f. So the f. So to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the th. the the. the. the the. the the the the the. the the the the the the to the the to to to to to to to to to only used the terms farts. Yeah, of course. I'm astonished to make it to New Zealand. It's just the Southeast and New Zealand. That's a kind of weird kind of spread of blow-off. You don't get more southeastern New Zealand really, do you? If you look at a map, you start coming back around again. That's true. It starts to become West again. What is that zone 9 by that? What is zone? th? th? th? th. th. th. It is zone is zone is zone is zone. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th. It's th. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's th. It's, it's th. It's, it's, it's th. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's the the th. It's the th. It's just just kind, the the th. It's just kind th. It's just kind kind the the that that thousand, thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. It's just just just, it's a couple of fast trains. This is from Kia. Further to this, for a brief time, this is the same lady from New Zealand, further to this,

for a brief time when I was in a youth group, the young Christians would use the term windy pops. Ah, windy pops. Yes, sure. But yeah, windy pops. Who the fuck have I heard say windy pops? I can't remember. My daughter would say farts.

What about yours? Farts and blowoffs. It's a little combination. We're not a strict. I think I said it before. But my dad used to say, ooh shit. Who's shit? Who's shit? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It's? It? It? It? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It's? It? It? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's. Yeah, who's shit? It's like a football fan and shout, isn't it? Now, this is, has kids ever accidentally hurt you? Oh yeah. After we was talking about Andy Murray breaking his nose from his kids.

Yeah, these are really good, okay? This first one's from Chris. When my daughter was six months old, she poked me in the eye so so hard, she split my corneania. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. This th. This th. This th. This th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's like th. It's like their th. It's like th. It's thi, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's their their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's their, it's th. It's th. It's their, it's like, months old, she poked me in the eye so hard, she split my cornea, ruining my 2020 vision. No! Took four years to heal because my eye would dry out and the scabrip open every time I woke up, poor Chris! Oh my God, oh my word. Oh, the eye is a terrible thing to have... Four years to heal. By year three you're thinking this isn't going to heal, right? So my mom had terrible problems with her eyes, detached retinas and stuff, and what they do is when they reattach it, because of the pressure, you have to, I shouldn't be laughing,

but you basically put your head in a pillow, too much pressure on your head and on your right. So you're in your eyes? In the pillow? No. Well, they're in your head still. But how are they getting to your eyes if your face isn't a pillow? No, once they've done it. Oh, right. Sorry. Sorry. I was loud. I didn't understand. The recovery, Josh. Right. they're going.

And they. And you lie down normally, but what they say is you're supposed to keep your head down like in your laps. My poor mom was hunched over this pillow lap. And then for every hour you're allowed to pop up for 10 minutes to do so. And it was such a pressure, it was, I felt like I was pit crew. So I was like, like, you know, like, my mom would pop her up like, like, she's brushing her teeth. I've got her. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. I. I. th. I. I'm. th. th. th. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. toe. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, toe. And, toe. And, the toe. too. the toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. And, toe. And, to. She smashed her with that and puts her head down. That's amazing. Oh my mic's gone down, sorry. I went off mic, sorry about that. I sat down next to her when the chase was on. I had to talk her through what was happening in the chase.

I just, I was just how distant they are and stuff like that. Exa. And the one, it, it, it, it, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. th. th. th. I, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I'm. I'm. I'm. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. t. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've, audio description. So sorry, I'm just trying to picture this. Is your mom sat in a normal sitting position but with her head in a pillow on her own lap? She's bracing for landing. Bracing for landing. So can't she just lie flat face down? Would that not be more comfortable? Potentially? that's a tough position to be in all day isn't? throwns. th. the th. th. thr-I I I I I I I I, thr-I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is thrific, is, is, is, is the thrific, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is their, is, is their, is, is, is their, is, is, is, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, is their, is their, is their, is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is to be in all day isn't it but I think you could mix it up I mean I don't I don't know fully if anyone's got any experience of a detached retina's maybe the doctor just winding my mom up for a laugh how long did you have to do this for oh they kept on getting reattached it she's had a fucking nightmare with him but she's she's better now which is good would you have to the laser eye surgery well well I'm tempt I I I I I I I I I I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the doctor the doctor the the doctor the doctor the the doctor the the the doctor the the doctor the the the the the the the doctor the the the the the the the the the the the the the the doctor I the the the the the the the doctor I'm the the the the the the the the the doctor try try. try. try. try. ttry. try. tttry. try. try. try. try. try. try. ttry. try. ttttry. the tt my mom's had. Also, so this happened, she, it happened originally in Spain and they told her like, oh it's really bad, blah blah blah, so she flew home to go to the doctors here. In the race position the whole way, people shitting themselves. Oh bless her, no,

I saw her. My dad had to sort of sort out and I saw her, my dad had to sort of out, she was in the waiting room, I went outside to get a fresh head. And her ploat was like, can I get a photo, mate? And I was a bit like, no, actually, because I don't really want a photo of me on the internet the night my mom went blind. You know, I mean, potentially, I don't really want to document this. Like, it's a bit of a saunit. She sat there. They sat tell, I, I said, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the t t t t t t t t t t t t t today. tt tt tttoday. t t tt t t t t the. th the th th blind or whatever. And then so she was sat there and then I'm in a sandwich and there weren't many spaces in the waiting room. I'm right on the other side and she shouted across the room. Got a bit of mayonnaise on your chin. I was like, how bad are these eyes?

She's still humiliating me. Got a mayonnaise on your chin boy. Got the little wiggle of having glasses. Why? So much range. When you're doing innuendo, you can just put them up and down a bit. The little wiggle of the glasses helps. I've noticed the little wiggle of the glasses. I'd say it's made me 20% funnier in conversation. It's so true, isn't it? Maybe it's why Rommish was doing so well for so long. Yeah. Let's start on the glasses. Right, I've got another injury here. Another eye one.

God, it's quite eye-heavy, this. One for the accidentally injured by your child. I was sitting next to my daughter, three, while she was turning the pages of a book, when I got too close, she was turned the page, and I got a paper cut on my eyeball. Oh my God. No, no. No. Why are you so close? She's now 8 and it still hurts to this day. Oh my God.

And she's scarred for life physically immensely reading bedtime stories and his approach of caution. Good way of getting out of bedtime stories. Sorry. It just brings back me cutting my eye open on a page of Fox's socks. Anna in Harrogate, that is Mum to Lydia A and Finbar four. Does your eye bleed if you touch your eye bleed? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to hurts to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their hurts hurts hurts her their hurts hurts their hurts hurts their theate that is mom to Lydia A and Finbar 4. Finbar. Does your eye bleed if you touch your eye? Well I imagine so. Sorry am I got stoned on that? Imagine if you had three eyes. How would it look? Would it look? Would it

would it be? Would it be? Would you see in be? Just imagine. Would you see him 4D? Who have we got next? Who have we got? Another children hurting adults. This has gone down a storm, this one. Hey guys, just heard your call out for stories of kids hurting adults and had to share a story I witnessed a few years ago. I was working at a nursery at the time in the preschool room and this day we had the, the, the, the, the, to have, to to to to to to to to the, the, to to the, to the, to the, the preschool room and this day we had an activity set up with a big roll of paper over the floor for kids to draw all over, you know that sort of thing. Happy kids

drawing fairies and poor patrol dogs, but obviously quite rubbish when there's an almighty scream. One four-year-old girl had taken a coloured pencil and gone over to my colleague who was laying on her front drawing with a group of children and she grabbed the pencil and shoved it up her nose. Oh no! It was like a horror movie for five minutes, children screaming, my colleague pissing blood from the nose, while his stunk kid looked on. Thank God you said from the nose, for a minute I was like that is an injury. No, from the nose, it's all in the nose, no eyes now. Oh God. It was all okay in the end and everyone handled the nose, it's all in the nose, no eyes now. Oh God. It was all okay in the end and everyone handled the situation like professionals, all appropriate

safeguarding measures and incident protocol, etc. Oh shut up, Stiffnet, we know that. No one's checking, no police are listening to this. Your boss ain't listening to this. Obviously not a site you forget, not a talking, and that sounds brutal. There thii. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all. Oh, all, all. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the okay? Because that's that's that, Worry. World Cup fever is upon us, isn't it? Hi, Rob and Josh, my wife and I, a long time listeners to the pod, and we are expecting our second kid two weeks today. So this is a couple of weeks ago we've had this. So the baby of the World Cup. This is very excited, Danny in Middlesbrough, this is. We already have a four-year-old boy and my leave starts on the 18th of November, so I'll be off-work

for the full tournament with a newborn and a four-year-old. I'm so excited for him. Is this good or bad news? Because the four-year-olds are still a nursery, but lightly at school. Should be in some sort from four, thi- th- th-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-old, th-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-year-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-year-year, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-year, th-year, th-in, th-in, the the th-in, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-n'-s-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-in-in-s-year-old-s-year-old-y-y-year-y-y-y-y-year-s, th-y-y- four-year-olds still a nursery maybe, but lightly at school. Should be in some sort of nursery, because that's when you get, from four, you get the free state run sessions, don't you? Now, while this absolutely wasn't planned, naturally, I now want to make the most of this opportunity to watch as many games as possible while supporting my missus and not dying from sleep deprivation. I'm glad he said supporting my missus because I felt like he was to say, while supporting our good country England, that was going to be his... Gareth and the boys. Basically what he wants here, Josh is brainstorm and to give him some survival tips and advice we may have.

So I had a one month old. You had a one month old during the euros? During the euros. Okay. The good news first is games that don't matter it's much better for. Yes. Because the first month of having a child is essentially watching lots of daytime TV. And what is the World Cup if not the best daytime TV there is? Oh my god. This is like a rousing speech come on. I like Michael Sheen. So... So talk to all the dads out there,

a new dad's about why it's so good for the World Cup to be on with a newborn. So let's go through the World Cup fixtures. You will be fine on Tuesday the 22nd of November at 1 p.m. You'll be able to watch Denmark v. Tunisia guilt-free. That big one. The big one. And then at 4pm Mexico v. Poland guilt-free. That's fine. I'd suggest maybe going for a walk with the baby in the plan to get it to sleep in between games. In between games. Exactly. And let's be honest, these aren't games you need to watch so intently so you can still be making toast, you know, filling up the large bottle of water that your wife needs because she's breastfeeding. Exactly. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the theate. theate, the, the, the, the, the, thii, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, toast, you know, filling up the large bottle of water that your wife needs because she's breastfeeding, all of these kind of things. Oh, can I suggest something? Can I suggest something, Josh? Right, so two things from my point of view,

like functional things. One, download the games. You can go to the World Cup and add to the eye calendar or Google calendar. Oh yeah, I've got them all them them them the the the the the the the the th. lined up so now 22nd November I can see Argentina Saudi Arabia 10 a.m. kickoff Tunisia Denmark 1 o'clock Mexico Poland 4 o'clock France Australia 7 o'clock so you can if you do this now you can I'd say plan ahead have it in your phone and on top of that either for your iPad laptop or phone get some sort of device that clips it to the buggy so you can walk around the park watching the game and try and get some sort of data package. Also at night there's this podcast obviously but we're not daily there's daily football podcast to get you through the night because it's the World Cup now the negatives.

The negatives. At the moment I've never felt more positive and never felt more like an expert this is this is our zone this is our world Josh exactly I should I just say on that calendar thing if you do work as a freelancer like me and Rob yeah and you haven't had the England games plotted in your diary with all the options for the second round quarterfinal and semitter in your diary for at least six months while you're booking stuff in you deserve to miss out. You deserve to miss out because it was there. The information has been there for you. Do not be surprised that England are in the quarterfinals. And then you go, oh God, but I'm working this day, your fucking problem, your thought. Yeah, plan ahead. Don't be a dickhead. This is on you now. Don't start blaming the world about, oh it's all going against me, no. Take it the the, take your responsibility and own your own diary. Isn't that right, Josh?

I'm totally in agreement. Now the bad news, evening games are tricking. Yes, it's about four-year-old bedtime, he's got a four-year-old as well Josh, this is tough. Yes, the 7 PM games are write-offs for you. I'm going to be honest with you. The chances of you watching USAV Wales are very small indeed. The chance of you watching Belgium v. Canada are distant. I am sorry. Brazil Serbia. No chance on Brazil Serbia. Argentina and Mexico what a game that's going to be? No chance. No chance, no chance mate. Spain Germany. Gutted, you're fucked, you've got an Uber, life's over. So those pluses and negatives, let's move on to, is the English, is English?

Middleborough, so he's English? Yeah, presume. England games are tough. That first ones at 1 p.m. You're probably going to be watching that while holding a baby. I reckon, this is my my my my my my my my partner look I would love to go to the pub and watch those games yeah give me those give me three four hours for those days and then a bit of a lying in the morning if possible then I will swap that for you to have that and you don't have to go and watch you know Serbia Brazil but go out with your friends you know do a proper shift and the to th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Give th. Give th. Give th. Give th. Give th. Give th. th. th. th. Give th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Give th. th. Give th. Give th. th. th. th. I I I I I th. I that's th. I's th. I'm that's that's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thee. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. shift and go look I would love to go and watch these games and then let's, so over the month you pick out your three days, I'll pick out my three days and let's have some our own time and enjoy ourselves. And if you're going to make a trade-off, here's a good idea.

If you're going to, if you're in a couple pointless early group games. Look you don't need to watch England Iran. You don't need to watch England be Iran. Go I'm happy not to watch England be Iran and then come the semifinals that will pay out big style. Exactly. I gave up on what in the Euro, no the World Cup before I had the baby because we had a little one for the World Cup in Russia. I missed out in England, Sweden, watched that at home because I saw I knew they were going through. But then for the big ones, I'm there for Columbia. Exactly. Exactly. I think that was actually very good what we did there.

That's great. That felt like a live thread. You go, World up with a newborn, here's the thread. Oh, fucking shove your friend up your eye, even if it's really good advice. I'm like, why don't you fuck off with your fred, mate. Shoot Fred. I don't know why it's sitting prongu. Imagine sitting writing a thread. Oh, piss off. Oh, piss off. the blog. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. thin. thin, thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi you're writing it out all beforehand and then you're working out where you're going to split it tweet wise grow up just put it all out in one go on Instagram or something is a friend oh hopefully loads of people retweet it and like it you're

pathetic I like to go down a thread and watch the retweets getting smaller and smaller as you get further than the thread that must kill that must kill that must kill those thread makers the thread th thread thread thread thread thread thread thread thread thread thread thread thread. th the thread. That must kill, that must kill those thread makers. The threader stairs. Oh, that's a good one, isn't it? Oh, that is nice. I was trying to do one about Fred the footballer, because he's just called Fred.

There's nothing to go off. Yeah, theyreed. Fred. Fred. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats.

With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nespresso, discover a world of possibilities, with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.CA to learn more, or an espresso boutique near you. Right, I've got a really long story here, Josh, but it's a good one.

Do you want it? Yes. It's like a true crime documentary. Okay, good. For the first four seconds I'll be silent because I've worked at how to mute my mic so that I can take a drink of water. Okay cool yeah please do that because everyone hates the slurpy slag. Here you go. Long story but a mad scenario. Hi Rob and Josh. I'm a bit. I'm a bit, well that is, I tell you what I'm tell you what I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm definitely not gonna to to do you do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, to, to, to, do, do, do, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to to to, to to to to they. they. the they, they, the s as read that any correspondence starts off with a little bit of business. Yeah, okay.

You're not getting that. So as soon as I say, hi Rob and Josh, you start slurping. Okay, cool, thank you. Nothing funny is going to happen in the first paragraph, I guarantee you. That's the main thing. Okay, I'm a bit out of sync, but listening to your pods about kids starting in school recently reminded me of something that happened when my youngest daughter started school nursery eight years ago. We had gone for the traditional clerk shoes, 40 quid a pop even then and all was going well in the first week, and all was going well in the first week until the Wednesday when I went to collector the

staff had not been able to find one of her shoes so they put her in well. the the the the their ss seeeeeeeysysysysysysysys. So their their their their their their their their their their their their see. Soe. So their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to get. So to get. So to to to their. So their. So their. So their their. So their their their. So their their. So their. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, their their their. So, their their. So, their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. the. the. theate. theate. theate. the. theate. the. theate. We's the. We're their the. We're th other one to turn up the next day. The next day the staff jubilantly held up the matching shoe they had found, except that when we looked at it, although it was the same style, it was a good inch longer than my daughter's tiny one, the staff said they would ask all the other parents with kids with the same style shoes and ask if someone had taken home our On the Friday morning they're a bit cagey when I asked how they got on and said they were still working on it, but they couldn't say anymore. After school they finally told me they had worked out what had happened. The other parent had got home from school on Wednesday with two very different size shoes. Instead of assuming they'd been a mixed up at school, at least six of the kids had the same style of shoe, they had convinced their clar sizes. Oh no, oh no. This is despite their child having worn the shoes with no problems for the first two days

of the week and that the shoes were so different in size it was visible from space. They had apparently gone back to Clarks on Wednesday evening and got them to swap our tiny one for a large one that matched their kid's size. The nurse staff were very apologetic but said they had discussed with the head and decided they couldn't tell me who the other parent was although they had explained everything to the other parent and told them who I was. They said they hoped they would the parent would make themselves known to me and then we could go into clerks together and explain what had happened. Either because they were too to to to to to their their their their their their their their their they were their they were their their their their their. I were their. I were their. I were their. I were their. I were their. I was their. their. I was their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their.c.c. their.c. they were too embarrassed or just sociopaths, the parents did not make themselves known to me. Oh, come on now. I kept nagging the school to tell me who they were

as we were 40 quid down at this point. Another couple of weeks passed we bought some cheap Asda shoes to be going on with, but nobody confessed. Eventually, the school decided they could tell me who the other parent was. decided they could tell me who the other parent was. As they could see how unfair it was. But by this point, it's awkward, isn't it, by this point? Well that's what the lady says here. I decided I didn't want to know, as we were all getting to know each other as a group of parents and we were getting on really well and we were looking at another

eight years of being in a small school together. Oh my word. I didn't want the fight. They obviously didn't want to confess and too much time had passed for it not to be awkward. I declined the offer but put it down to experience and never did find out who it was. Oh wow. Eight years on and our daughters are probably at the same high school and still friends. We probably know the parent or parents as well. Maybe if they listened to the pod, they could use this as a confessional. Oh, yes. So if you're out there and you swapped a shoe eight years ago, it's time to confess.

Or if they don't want to confess, Mary from Manchester says they could anonymously deliver a bottle of posh gin to my door. They know who they need tothey know they need to do the right thing. Mary from Manchester, the best thing would be to deliver the right size shoe that now obviously doesn't fit anymore with gin in a shoe. Gin in a shoe. Mary from Manchester. Originally Plymoth, veteran of the 1984 Green Army Glory day in the FAA semi final against Watford. Did you beat Watford at Villa Park? No, we, the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they need they need they they need th th th th th th the ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne to to to do need need need need the they need they need the they need they need thmouth, veteran of the 1984 Green Army Glory Day in the F8 Cup semi-final against Watford. Semifine Final against Watford. Did you beat Watford at Villa Park?

No, we lost one-nil, but we got to the FAA Cup same final when we're in what is now League One the League one, which is quite a new game. Yeah, I would say that quarter final was the glory day of the one-nil defeat, come on the Green Army. The best bit about Euro96 was that game we lost to Germany, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. Oh, the glory day of when I got poked up the nose by a kid at Monertery. That glory day. Oh, that's a good story, that's a long one. Do you know what I'd do in that situation to other parents to see if they flinched. So it'd be like, here's a funny thing that happened a few years ago, and then you tell the story, acting

as if you know it isn't them, because it probably isn't them, but at some point a parent might go, all right, hands up, it was me. I think there'll be people that may know, I mean Mary in Manchester who's a plimfam who's their for their for their tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, thian, thin, thi, thi, thin, thin, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. is th. is th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's their, acting thii's thi's thithere for the Glory Day. Yeah. Someone of that school note that some, that's what's so excited about true crime is, somebody knows. Somebody knows. Somebody knows the truth and it's about time they confess. No one's going to be a trouble. Just a bottle of gin on Mary's door. Mary let us know if that gin that the most exciting will be if she just gets a bottle a gin on a gin on a gin on a gin on a gin on a gin on a gin on a gin on a gin on a bottle a bottle a bottle a bottle a gin on a bottle a bottle a bottle a bottle a bottle a bottle a bottle a bottle a bottle a bottle a gin on a gin on a bottle a gin on a bottle a bottle a gin on a gin on a gin on a gin on a gin the the thin of gin on gin on a gin on gin on her door. That's the best way out of this for everyone. A bottle of gin saying I'm too embarrassed to say my name, sorry, and a bottle of gin, because time's past. Or just 40 quid in an envelope. I hope they know Mary's address.

Or put it in the kid in the kid's bag. Not the bottle of gin I wonder if the kid would remember or would the kid have been too small to remember? I think they forget that kind of stuff, don't they? Yeah, yeah. It's not that, it's not that memorable. I don't think we should start investigating. I don't think we should take the kids in for questioning. No, no, no, no. That'd be a great podcast. We'd pop out to Manchester. Interview. Interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview interview. Interview. Interview. Interview. Interview. Interview. Interview. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. they's not th. they's not thi. they're not th. th. th. th. thi. th. 't know what we're talking about. And then we're like, oh my god, we spent 400 quid on train tickets. It's so expensive. Right. Do you want some more correspondence?

Yes. This is, I'm enjoying this. This is good, thrown. Oh, yeah. Oh, exactly. do the height look there look hi dude listening to your podcast it slurps slurlurlurp in beautiful Vancouver Canada slurps lurp slurb slurp I wanted to share a parent's tip there was acceptable slurps slurps lurp in the 70s according to my parents there's never a laugh in the first paragraph Josh so this is a sherry she's talking about boomer parent in Vancouver Canada in the 70s my brother th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thoe' tho' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I tha the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t went out for a trip to the beach. I sort of forget there's beaches in Canada, I just

think it's cold and moose's. Yeah, I don't picture it as beachy. Yeah, the Mountie look like, they look like it would be too o'clock on beach. I mean QI when I say that, but like... Anyway, they're on the way to the beach. My fed up dad, he was driving, stopped the car and told us we had run out of petrol and we were to push the car. So he got us out, took us to the back of the car and told to push it. He got back in the car and sat climbed back in. All tired out and no energy left to fight with, we all fell asleep in the back of the car. Now that's clever parenting, no. Cheers and thanks for the laughs,

you guys are doing a fantastic job. What? So basically they were annoying him. I quite, I actually respect this. Yeah. They were annoying him. So he's annoying him. They're they're they're they're they're they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. th. th. the. the. theat. theat. their. theat. their. their their their their their the their their. their. their. their. their. they'd shut up and stop annoying and be tied out and then he just went yep started now and they were all quiet. Amazing. That is good. That is good. That is good parenting. Also when he said had a smoke do they mean just a cigarette? Because I'd say the phrase had a smoke smoke sounds like he's getting high. In my head too. He's just that little joint on the way to the beach. They're just hot boxing in that car. It's like you, your incense, just that. It's like me at the moment.

Hey man, what about that eyeball thing? Should we go back on that chair? If you could be one vegetable for the rest of your life, what would you be? the theyme? meat? Sweet corn. Sweet corn. How's it's a worse way to be eaten wouldn't it? Because you're like basically savage,

your skin's savage. Anyway, let's move on because I'm not stuck. I need to get some of that incense mate. You have like Bill Hicks, you've gone to another dimension. Here we go. This is a parenting fail. This one. Here we go. This is a this is this is this is a this is a this is a this is a this is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting, this is a parenting like this one. Hi Rob and Josh, I need to tell you about my soon-to-be mother-in-law and her questionable parenting skills. Quite as bold, isn't it? Someone having a dig before they're even married. This is Emma. She says, when my fiance and I got together, he told me he was allergic to nuts. He were driving, he decided to crack open the Tobarone and started eating it. He was in it quite happily and nothing happened. Eventually I grew some balls and asked him if he asked him

if he could check the ingredients. To his shock and surprise, he had almonds in it. Yeah. Very confused and panicky. what the signs of a reaction were and what he should do, should he go to hospital, what should I do? What should I look out for? His mum went silent and said, you don't need to panic, son. All confused, he asked her why. His mum responded, I didn't want to share my Ferroro Rochets when you were a kid. What?

She said to him, he was allergic to peanuts. That is unbelievable. Because she didn't want to share her for all the roaches. That is incredible. That is, wow. Wow. I didn't understand what going on then, but now I absolutely, that is. So she just lied. Fair play.

Fair play. He still hasn't forgiven her. They are a very, very nice chocolate. And they're not cheap. No, the ambassador is spoiling you, isn't they? The ambassador's really, really going for it. Oh dear, right, we've got a couple more. Okay, these are great. I'm really enjoying this. I feel free. This is a lovely episode, isn't it? It's really nice.

Hi, Rob and Josh, a quick one on your theme of, if my therapist could see me now. This is where you sort of have sort of a the the the the the the the the the the th. A thi a to have thia to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to have a to be a thoom. the. the. thoom. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to, to, to, the. toe. toe. toea. toea. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. the. the. the. th reaction to news. It isn't really about the news and it sort of makes you realize maybe there's a few issues I need sorting out. Also if you do have anything you want to contribute to these items of when you've been hurt by a kid the therapist one or boom a parenting fowls, email them in. Because we do do these every now. These sort of correspondence episodes as well as the odds and odds and soods in normal episodes. This is th. This. This. This. This is. This is. This is. This is. This is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi thi tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. to to to to to to to to to to to the. th my therapist could see me now. This is from Karen, whose kids are in their 30s and are still joyful hard work. Oh God. I'm not that old. We're from Middlesbrough originally. We started early. Fair enough. Here we go. So this is a Karen's story of when a therapist should have seen her. Was picked up by my husband some years ago when things were getting tough at work. th. th. th. th. to. to. th. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. So, th. I th. So, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. toeeeeea. toeea. toea. And thii. thiii. And thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And ths were getting tough at work, etc. with life and I was a bit overworked and a bit tired. He casually mentioned Andy Williams had died, at which point I burst into for uncontrollable sobs.

And I stayed that way for hours on the drive back home while he kept looking at me very, very worried as I was constantly crying. He said, I didn't even know you liked Andy Williams. I'm so sorry. Shall I play something by him? What's your favorite song? At this point I realized I couldn't name one of the songs with a gun to my head. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas?

Is that one of them? I don't know. I'm very sorry he's died but I have no feeling about him one way or the other. Of course not. Which made me think maybe it's not about Andy Williams. That is incredible. That's great in it. Yeah. Really good stuff. Do you ever have an emotional reaction to a celebrity you've never met dying? Like, does it? No, but no one's sort of died that that's. That's meant something to you in your childhood.

No, I think that happens when you're about 50. Yeah. Everyone's in the 70s and 80s when you were a teenage like when they were making it from my dad said when Charlie Watson Rolling Stones died a few years ago he felt really like fuck like yeah and so a lot of people like Bowie really upset them because they're really into Bowie but not not yet but I think imagine like people that people that really like the Gallagher brothers and then like yeah so the Billy Connolly people like that yeah yeah they're really might make me but I'm a throwing the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. th th the I I the I the I tho. the the the the the the the the the they. the the the th know if I will. Yeah, Andy Williams, did that hit you hard? No, I'm still not sure who is. I thought we played for Nottingham Forest. What does Possible sound like for your business?

It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit Amex.C.A. slash business platinum. Josh, you fancy going for a beard? Maybe like the 14th of April? I can't do that. I'll be doing the 14th of April. How come it comes? We're doing the Parenting Hell Arena at Manchester Arena. Oh, okay. How about the 19th of April? Cardiff arena. Parenting hell live the the the the the the the the the the the th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. B.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.xx.A.A. tha. tha. tha. tha. thaing Hell Live Tour in Nottingham. What about the 20th of April? Cardiff Arena, Parenting Hell Live, Cardiff Arena.

21st? Oh the 1st? No 2nd? No 2nd? I can do the 22nd of April. Oh, 23rd? Yes, yes, Wembley. What about the 28th of April? I'm in Birmingham. Do you know what Rob? Rob Rob? Rob? Rob? Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thooooooooooooooooooooo. I tha. tha. th. th. th. I April? I'm in Birmingham. Do you know what, Rob? The Parent and Hell Live Tour. Yeah, but we'll just have a drink afterwards. Yeah, should we do that? Yeah, that'd be nice. We need to plug the live tour by the way. Oh yeah, yeah, there's a live tour of Parenting Hill,

and I cannot wait. Two of those tickets. Oh, great Christmas present. Or Father's Day present or Mother's Day present. Exactly. See you there! Do you want another one? Yeah, go on. This is for Nana Irene in Braintree. Okay. Hi both.

I'm a Nana to Emily Four and Tommy five months and Mumm to Glenn and Leanne. Absolutely love the podcast from Day 1 and full I must tell you about the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the embarrassing episodes we've had. When he was two, he was sitting at a crossroads in his buggy. I was pushing the buggy. I started talking to an old man next to me whilst waiting for the green man. The green man started flashing, so I started pushing the buggy to the middle of the road. At the same time, the old man stumbled forward and fell over, cr-in' the the ground, their, the their, their, th..... I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bug, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I, I was I, I, I was I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's ta, I's ta, I'm. I'm ta, I was ta, I was ta, I was ta, ta, ta, ta, ta. ta. ta. I started, I started, I started the the the the the help him up. It wasn't until I reached the other side. I rear's eyes, Glenn was clinging onto his walking stick. So this old bloke fell to the ground. It's turned round and Glenn still holding the stick.

Oh my god, that's so good. That's so good. That would be all. Oh, that would be all. Oh, instantly felt. don't stand the bugging too close to others at crossings. Nana Irene in Braintree. Good tips Nana Irene. Good point. Oh, that was a lovely. I love the fact that Nan's emailing. Yeah.

Fucking great. The thing is, Nan's are a lot younger and cooler now than they were when they were little. When I was little, it felt like when we're in our 60s. Are we still going to dress like we dress now or do we start to dress older or did old people always dress like old people dress now when they were younger? Sorry, my stoned. That's a riddle. Sorry, but do you know what? She sells seashells on the seashore, right? Are you going to start to dress older? I'm in a real crossroads of fashion at the moment. Are you? I don't know who I am I am thau I am thau I am th. I am th. I am th. I am th. I am th. I am th. I am th. I am th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thr-I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. S. S. I thr. S. S. I'm thro. I thro. S. I to to to to to to to to to thro. I thro? I don't know who I am or what I wear anymore. I remember someone told me that John Bishop said, and he's a well-dressed man, that no one should wear trainers after 40.

I'm 39, Rob. I don't want to go for a run in a pair of brogues. No, no, no, fair enough. I'm not meant just like day to they. they. tha. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. toeea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toe. the. the. the. be wearing shoes day to day. No, but I think that's bad. That's why old people have got terrible posture. You need, you need trainers to help with your, that's when you need them more. So you're gonna be dressed in a pair of yeasies at 17? Well, not that's a bad example, but you're gonna be for a nice pair of shoes that have the cushioning soul that still

look smart. Because what I find is you either got running shoes that make them look awful. You see people in the commute with a lovely suit and a terrible pair of running shoes. That are really comfortable look mental. Yeah. Oh yeah, like the Jerry Seinfeld style. Awful. But they're so good for your knees and your joints and as you get your joints, and as you get old you need to look after them.

But the other option is like basically some sort of like Victorian bit of wood that you're clunking about. What they've got to be... Shoes are not... When are people are to admit? When are the shoes? I fucking hate wearing shoes. It's rubbish. It's rubbish. I'd th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that's, I'm tho. I'm that. that. I'm that. I'm th. I'm, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, I'm th. I'm th. I's, basically, basically, basically, I's, I's, basically, I's, I's, th. I's, th. I's, I's, th. th. th. th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. tho. that. th thr. thr. thi. th th th th thi. If I was warm enough, don't the vicar. Do you know what happened to me when I had an newborn?

Because I was in the flat, we was in a little flat that had really hard flooring, like wooden floors. And because you're indoors all day, but you don't stop moving because you're running from room to room, doing up, washing the baby, sometimes walking around so much. I started getting that planter-forcitus thing because I was just walking, that's when the sole of your foot gets really sore, when you're walking about support

or you're walking bare foot loads and stuff like that. So sometimes you get it on holiday if you're just in flip-flops all the time. But then I put a pair of, what I do is, I've got got a the thap, I've got a the thap, I've got a thap, I've got a th, I've got a th, I've got a tho, I've got a tho, I've the tho, I've tho, I' tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, tho, tho, thooooooa, thoa, to, to, tooooooooooooooooooooooo, thoooo, thoo, tho in the house. I put a bear of like soft cushioning like running shoes on. You get so much more done. You feel like you're pumped ready to go. Because a bare foot you sort of slap about, but I'm feel like, let's go out and like bouncing around up the stairs with the little bouncy shoes.

Oh God. I'm like kick-I-I've-ki. I had a meeting in town. Yeah. And I went to the gym first, went in my gym kit and my PE kit, and then went to get changed. And I'd forgotten my normal trainers. Oh no, so what did you wear? I had to wear my Jerry Seinfelds. Like a big, big chunky trainer. They're five with a tracks with a pair of jeans and a shirt. You look like a fucking balland. I know, this is my, this is my fashion crossroads problem. I need to wear, my posture is terrible, I need to go to the car, my chiropractor's moved to

Dubai, don't live here anymore. So I need to get in the chiropractor, I'm not a fucking squirrel, all hunched over. You're like your mom when she had a retina out. Yeah, I might be retina, retina recovery they call me. And so it gets worse if I don't wear sort of comfy shoes, but I'm out of fashion and crossroads because those Jerry Seinfeld trainers look fine of a tracksuit, but with jeans and normal clothes like you're going for meetings and what you can't. You can't. Maybe we should invent some shoes. There's a gap in the market. Adidas are looking for someone. We, look, let's face it, we are, this podcast is for tired people and their bodies hurt.

Let's try and help them be fashionable and comfy. Comfy shoes that you can wear when they're fashionable. Yeah, because they just don't do them, do them to be fashionable. I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they they they they they they they they they they they th. they they th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. to to thea. toooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. the. the. th be fashionable. I just want to wear them without looking like an absolute bell-end. Yes, exactly. So we want a trainer that looks like an... Because I love Adidas Sambas, but it's like walking on a bit of wood. Oh, mate, my converse, I might as well be barefoot. Right, so what we need to make us kind of a sort of something very simple, very basic shoe that's the answer. Yeah, we can put a man on the moon but we can't do that. Well we can. We can. And I'll tell you what, that'll go on a big pile of ideas we won't do. Yeah.

So thought of all the other shit I've got knocking about it. Right, small business shoutouts. Here we go. Right. You've got one. Hi Rob and Josh have just launched a new shoe. Oh young! Like that incense has powered you up. Absolutely powered me. You're flying. Full transparency. This is what is for underdog fitness and it's the guy my mate Luke who's trained me in boxing for last few years as a side hustle. Not just me yet other clients but now he's going full-time with his business underdog fitness and that's Underdog little word, dash thing, fitness. thoukk.

And on Instagram at Underdog, underscore fitness, 1912. And he's boxed all his life and I do one-on-one sessions with him so you can book him for that. Oh, that's good. I love boxing. And it's good, because he's really good training, really good exercise, but it's quite fun. And if you're into boxing, he can sort of talk you through like, this is the move Canello does. Or this is the, so it's quite interesting if you're a boxing fan. But Lou does it as well. He's got a huge female client list.

Boxing can be a bit alpha maley and a bit toxic, but I think if you do, you punch in, have a little break, like rounds, and you can have a chat, and he's really, really lovely bloke. And it's not quite good actually because you just sort of talk about life as well as sort of like half-therapy, half-boxing. But I absolutely love it. It's got my fitness really good know it's great for cardio. And also for blokes, right?

Man boobs are the main problem I think for men at a certain age. That it sorts all your arms, your back, your shoulders, and your tits out. Do you know what I mean? And then the cardio works on the little beer belly. But yeah, so Luke is absolutely brilliant. what I do which is brilliant but you can also offer strength and conditioning and nutritional advice which I haven't done yet because I haven't had time and he also does a ladies classes. I haven't had time Rob come on. Next year. That's that's the least that's that's the quickest bit and he also does ladies only classes in Bromley area and the he's gonna increase that to

men classes soon as well he does small group train as well so he can to th th th th th th th th th th th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I th. th. th. th th. th th th th. th th. th th thu. thu. thu. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. the to to to to to to to to to to-I to-I'm to-I'm to-I'm toeeeeeean thoooooooo' the. I to increase that to men classes soon as well. He does small group trainer as well so he can do a whole family and come around. But yeah, if you go on Instagram and follow at Underdog Fitness 1-1-2 and you can find it all there. Give him a follow, see what it does. And if you're in the southeast London, Ken Bromley area, he can come to you or you can go to one of his classes. Lovely bloke and he's trying to start up a new business after lockdown. So yep, give him a follow and go and get fit and rock hard. It's quite good as well because I feel like I could defend myself if someone attack me now Josh. Hey Rob and Josh. We're Laura and Tiff and we run brush and bubbles, a female business where we hold painting

the small business where week on this week. I know. But it's good isn't it? It is. It's something for everyone. We absolutely love your podcast. TIF has a newborn and so seeks a lot of comfort from it as a first-time mom. Our goal is to emphasize the importance of creativity and to make art fun and accessible to everyone with countless benefits it has for mindfulness. We also created art kits and posted free online tutorials on YouTube during lockdown to keep everyone happy and creative during this very difficult time. We absolutely love to be part of the small business shout-out as we're trying to spend the joys and benefits of painting and any help to spread the word is greatly appreciated. Insta at Brush and Bubbles. Lots of love Tiff and Lara. There you go, lovely stuff. Good work Josh.

See you on Friday, better. See on Friday. Bye. If you're not in the queue and you are waiting, then step to the side. He got in touch, you said, yeah, sorry, mate. You didn't seem like yourself the other day. You've only met me three times. The self-service check out out. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. their. their. ti. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. Bye. ti. ti. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. toda. today. today, to today, to today, today, today, today, today, today, today, you're called. I'm not getting tricked into working here. People at festivals in those stupid jester hats. I glanced at a tampon.

$2.69 for a bottle of water. Why is your Wi-Fi code? 10 characters long. When so I don't care if you're watching. Boots cut jeans. What's upset you now? I'm Paul Walsh and I'm Paul McCaffrey we are the hosts of What's Upset You Now the UK's angriest podcast and we are back for series five

Pullia we all love a good moan don't we and Sean and I well Sean mostly are two of the best in the absolute business and every Tuesday and Thursday we moan about all those little things that really get our go we also have guests what guests have we had, Sean? We have had Romish Ranganathen, Rob Beckett, Mark Lamar, Joe Brand, Catherine Ryan, Tom Allen. 15-minute episodes every Tuesday and Thursday, brand new, What's Upset You Now, Series 5, out now.

Oh for God's sake.