Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP37: My Bowel Movements Are Still Jet-Lagged

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York You.C.A. I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee. Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Not whatever you think university is for.

Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Can you say Rob Beckett? Can you say Josh where do you come? Josh we get to? There you go. There you go. That was like a American Josh. Josh. we get to him. That's it too. There you go. That was like a American Josh. Josh. Josh. Come on already. Get off the sidewalk. Josh. I saw Georgia but that and I thought oh yeah, but that's actually the name of one of the people.

This is seven-year-old Jackson. Quite an American name as well. Attempting to read the intro prompt to his five-year-old brother, Harry and one year-old cousin, Rosa. We bribed him with a... Cholk bar? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. Get th-a. Get th. Get th. Get th. Get th. Get th. Get-I. Get-I. Get-I. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. Get th. Get th. the. the. the. the. thoooooooo-he-hea-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-I-I-he-hea-a-hea-he-year-old cousin Rosa. We bribed him with a... Want to have a guess? Um, chocolate bar? Fredo, yes. And they're posh. Oh, it was right. I was going to say it might be one of them like the weird grain bars.

Oh, find that. The kids don't really like. But you're trying told you're trying to do that too' before before before before to to to to to to to to to to to to to to You're touring Australia. It's 11 p.m. It's 11 p.m. in, it's 1 p.m. UK time, 11 p.m. Brisbane time. I've just seen your photo of how I put the mic set up and it looks so much like a cock. Oh my god, yeah, it really does.

Yeah, you're wearing a Taco Bell t-shirt. That's my comfy hotel room clothes. I was asleep naked. The good thing about that is you're away from Lou, but she can be sure that you're not looking elsewhere if you're packing your Taco Bell t-shirt, Rob. Yeah, I didn't pack my sexy, my, because obviously I have my sexy clothes that I wear to bed. Of course, of course. But I say for Lou, you do as well, because you get your sexy out. What's that outfit you wear for Rose again? Is it the phone's outfit?

Yeah, it's a silk boxer shorts, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, smooth. I like it. Yeah. And then just a Frankie goes, says relaxed t-shirt and then a pair of Doc Martins. Yeah, and braces. It's pretty sexy. Oh, how are you? I've not spoken to you for ages. I to to to to to the the the to you for the the to the the their their to their their to to their their their to their their to their to to to to their to to their to to to their their their to th. I's th. I's that's their their. I's their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. I's. Yeah, th. I's. Yeah, th. S. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. S. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. S. Yeah. embraces. It's pretty sexy. Oh, how are you? Josh. I've got spoken to you for ages. I'm great. I'm good. I'm all right. That went down, didn't it? I've got loads of parenting to talk about Rob. I haven't got loads to talk about parenting while I was to be honest. No. So I thought, why don't I do the parenting so that sound? Yes, let's say it that way. I've seen you a lot, a lot of you walking around Victoria Park in the rain looking at Christmas trees. Yeah, fucking hell. And it looks a bit, it feels a bit weird, Josh. You're like, you're really into it, but you just keep going back to the same Christmas trees. Why don't you go to other Christmassy stuff? But is the only thing near me that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's. That's. That's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's that's that's. It's. It's that's. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's is is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the only. It's the only. It's the only. It's the only. It's the only. It's the only. It's the the the the the the that's that's that's th We've made the move on our kitchen radio. Oh, so you're listening to, okay. We're listening to Magic 100% Christmas. So is your tree up yet? Loo's doing decorations today. We're recording this on the 28th.

Oh, she's putting a tree up today. We once went in November and by Christmas Day, the tree was a sorry state. I tree three. You're a fucking-Cchch course high end artificial you're a fucking loose neck of course if anyone said what's the difference between Whidicum and Beckett I'd say Widdicum has got a tree dying in his living room and Beckett has gone artificial that is the difference. I'm just saying if you go high end artificial you never look back. Well, we've done that with our lawn, Rob. We've done that with our lawn. Astro Turf, do you like it? I do look back.

I do look back on that one. But I do like it because you never get it to a good level when it's little. But I do like it because you never get a grass lawn rob. That's that is is the the the the the the the lawn. that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that's that's that's that's that's thorn. the the that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's that's. that's the the the the the the the the the the the lawn. the lawn. the lawn. the lawn. the lawn. the lawn. the lawn. the lawn. the lawn. the lawn. the the lawn. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. throw. tooooooo to to to to that's that's tho that's tho tho thorough. th. th. small one you've got to go astroturf because you'll never get it to a good level when it's little. Yeah, well the last house we lived in we had a grass lawn rob that was about. What are we talking about? Wait, wait, this is absolutely prime me. I'm not psychologically equipped to deal with a grass lawn. It got in my head too much, the weeds, the wauxed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the w I I I I I I I I the weeds, the weeds, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, we're tho, we're tho, we're got got tho, we had tho, we're got the tho, we had tho, we had tho, we had tho, we had tho, we had tho, we had tho, we had tho, we had tho, we had tho, we had th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, we had the, we had the, we had the the the. theeea. We had to to to to the the thea. theaugh, we had theeeea. We had thea. We had the. We had mental load. You want to keep on top of that. Yeah, I don't want the mental load of a lawn. I just can't, I've got enough going on in my head without a lawn in there.

So that's where I am. Sure. So why don't you push that to Christmas as well? You don't have to worry about when you get the tree and when it's going to die, you can just have just to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have to have the to have to have the to have the their to have their to have to have their to have to have to have to have their to have to have their their to have to have to have to have to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the mid-November if you want. There's no space in zone too, Rob for me to store a Christmas tree. It's a storage problem. You've got a seller, are you? Rob, our seller is up to the fucking eyeballs in storage. It's a nightmare. We got a storage room.

We got a storage room. told us on the podcast? Lou's got a storage room. A big yellow storage room? Yeah. Or other storage rooms are available? Other storage rooms are available, depending on who sponsors the podcast currently. What's in your storage room? Mainly all my stuff? Really? That's what happened with me?

Yeah, that's what happened? Yeah, it's made me throw out. their CDs. Okay, so you've not got artificial. Anyway, talk to us about parenting. Come on, we've gone Christmas early. We don't, we're not doing a Christmas special now. Also, it's hot here and Christmas here. It's annoying. Yeah, it's unnatural. I went to... Well, Father Christmas is overdressed. Of course he's not dressed for the weather is he? No. Sometimes you see Father Christmas in a pair of board shorts like he's going surfing and I hate it. Oh, I don't see. Sometimes you the to see. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's that's that's th. It's there's there's there's there's there's is there's is there's is there's is there's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's knees. No I... More than wants to see Santa's knees? Ever! Imagine going to... You saw Santa when he had shorts on and that you'd ask for money back? Yeah unacceptable. Well we're going to Lambert, our Scott. So I'll let you know about that on the next episode, but we started our Christmas experiences last week, last Saturday, everyone. Are you taking your youngest to that as well? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th. So I I I I I I I th. So I I I th. So I th. So I'll th. So I'll th. So I'll th. So I'll to to to to to th. So I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their the. I the. I their their their their the the the the the the the. the theooooooooooooo. Ever. Ever.. Are you taking your youngest to that as well? Yes we are.

It's going to be wasted on him. Oh, ho-ho. Is that the laugh that says he's going to have a great time? He's going to have a great time, yeah. Absolutely. He'll be running around, running onto the ice, running at reindeer, just screaming out of a room and you'll be hunched over shuffling behind. Like all parents with toddlers. Oh God, I've made a mess of mistake. Keep was posted though, looking forward to it.

I bet you are. I'm glad. So that's something to look forward to in next week's episode. Okay, good. So, you Christmas festivities. We went to the premiere of the snowman at Saddleas Wales. I didn't think you could get stiffer. I told you the time I went to Saddleas Wells with an ex-girlfriend, didn't I? Or it might be a little I can't remember.

I think you have told me that. And I didn't know, and I didn't know in dance no one spoke spoke. Yeah, well, obviously in the snowman, no one speaks. So there's no big loss there. It's the snowman. But in dance, no one speaks. They don't even go like, hello, welcome. We're gonna do a bit of nothing. There's nothing.

They just dance. All of it's just dance. All of it is just dance. I thought there'd be an MC that had somebody going, right, just... It's not magic like. I think they need to try and bridge that gap. Well, he needs someone to go look, everyone, this is what's going to happen. And they'll help you through it, do you know what I mean? Well Rob, you say it's stiff neck, right? First things first. Go on. the the daily mail describe to wee to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the the the to to the the to the the the the the the to to to go, the the the the to to to the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, the to go, the the the the the the the th. th. the. the. the. thr. thr. throoooooooooooooooo. try. try. try. to to to to thr. to the the the the thr. the to the. to the office of Wundercomb? Because, because, I've done that twice. Because, that's how the Daily Mail, do you want to know what the Daily Mail described me as Rob on the red carpet? Dapper.

No, it's good to, oh, so you found your market, have you the Daily Mail? No, no, I'm not saying that's interesting. It's interesting. with your family. They did, yeah. And they take photos. Yeah. That stresses me out. I think now to stress you out more than me. No, do you know what? We went there, got out, I was already ready for this. And so there was, it's not a red carpet, it's one of those, you know those boards you stand in front of. A white carpet for the snowman. It's a small piece of red. You know those boards that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football that football the football that football the football the football that football that football the football the football. It's their. It's their. It's. their. their. their. their. to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. that. their. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to. to. to. to. to. to. of red that you know those boards that football managers stand on are in front of Yeah, and you have your photo taken. It's got a few things behind it that kind of situation Yeah, you know you do Lorraine. It's like that. Yeah, and they get your photo just in front of the Lorraine board. Yeah, so basically you've just gone to a normal theatre show but they pull you to the side. Yeah, yeah. It's for like is for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like for like. this is for like. this for like. this for like. this for like. this for like. this for like. the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. It's for like for like. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the people were there are totally unacceptable. This is incredible, Rob. I've never been to an event with an odder clienteau. Can I just run you three who I saw?

I know three names. Right. The first two people I saw, and I was like, what the fuck is this? Charlie Brooker from Black Mirror? Charlie Brook from Black Mirror, not Charlie Brooks from, not Janine from me. No, and not the guy that's married to Rebecca Brooks either. Charlie Brooker are one of our greatest writers and greatest satirists and Gemma Collins, right? And then G got Juan. He hasn't got kids, does he? Got one? No, no, he's just there with his boyfriend. He just loved Snowden.

Kevin Eldon, honestly. Kevin Eldon? You're like, who is this for? Kevin, Jemmer, Charlie Booker and Got one. Allison Stedman. I didn't see Arlene Phillips. She got a photo with the snowman. Did she?

I didn't get a fucking photo with the snowman, didn't get that option. But also, you're in a photo with Rose and your daughter? Yeah, she wanted to do it. You can't tell her no, can you? Yeah, but I was like, she wants to these things, but this is the kind of thing where you're like, this is a really good thing that she wants to go to, so I'm just going to take advantage. The only premiere I've ever been to was absolutely fabulous. That was the film, not my description of it. It was... It was... It was...

It was absolutely fabulous. Do you know what? The reason what it is, that weird mix is because it's a stiffneck event, so you just assume it would be full of stiffnecks and then all the sort of Gemma Collins Brigades turned up for a free bit of mail online. Yeah. Well, I don't know if we don't have them in the pictures, but you can't say to your daughter, you're not allowed his photos because that would do more damage. But then also she doesn't know the implications of being in the mail online. No I know but... It's a balance, isn't it?

It's a balance, but do you know what? To be fair, it was the premiere of the snowman, it wasn't a 48-hour coke binge, was it? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. There's, the snowman, Robbue. That's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, the. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's. It's. It's that's fun then. That's good. It was great fun. We had a lovely time. Are we still relatable if you're going to Premiers, Josh? I mean, it's the snowman, Role. Because at this stage, you're going to premieres, and I don't, I have not seen my children

for two weeks. Yes, it is a problem. What have we become? Well, that is an issue Rob. No, I am going. I to see. I to see. I to see. I that. I that. I that. I that. I am going. I that. I am going. I am going. I am going. I am going. I am going th. I am going th. I am going th. I am going th. I th. I am going th. I th. I am going. I am going. I am going th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You. th. You. th. You. You. th. You. th. th. You. th. th. You. You are th. th. You're th. You're th. You're that. You're that. You're that. You're that. You're that. You're that. You're that. You're that the. You're the. the. You're the. You're th. You're going Anyway so you went to the premier what else have you done festivities wise? The other things we've done festivity wise yeah my son said his first words Rob is that exciting? That's words what was it? What I realized is it just it's not like a moment is it? That's really I literally don't know what my kids first words were were exactly I think I think it's an overrated event it's an overrated event because It's an overrated event because... Not at the time it felt great. But like, yeah, but they slowly form them. It's not like they go from nothing to going higher. Do you know what I mean? Hello my name's you don't. Yeah. Or just like yeah. Yeah. Or it's out of nowhere they just said something like darvled. So they're kind of forming the sounds and they're getting. So I didn't. I the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. the. So. So. So. So. the. the. the. the. the. of forming the sounds and they're getting, so I didn't have on either occasion gone and there's the first words. Do you know what I mean? So what was, what did he say?

So he's kind of drifted into it. He does mama and he does quack quack quack quack. If you ask him what sound of the duck makes. Oh that's got to hurt you in it. I'm trying to overlook to overlook to overlook to overlook to overlook to overlook to overlook to overlook to overlook. Du over to overlook. to overlook to overlook to overlook to overlook to overlook it, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, to overlook to overlook to, Rob, Rob, Rob, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the remember how often I take him to see the ducks in the park, Rob. You've got to remember it. True, quite quack. And he's always facing away from me in that situation when he's in the buggy. Right, okay.

So quack the mama. Yeah. Rose must have been good about it. She's been good about it. I'll be honest with you, Rob. I got off to a slow start with my daughter and now I'm pretty much the favorite. I'm gonna say it. Really? No, but no, but no, but no, I'm not. No, I'm saying that. You wouldn't have said that you wouldn't mean it, you know what? You wouldn't say, you wouldn't have that you wouldn't have that you wouldn't have that you wouldn't have that you wouldn't have that you wouldn't have that you wouldn't have that you wouldn't have that you wouldn't, but you're backtracking that in case Rose here's doesn't get the arm. Well, do you know what, she has, she has made a complaint about the podcast, Rob? Oh, has she? What's that? She doesn't want too many apps on her phone?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. The bit where me and you talked about inventing a comfortable shoe was the most old things she'd ever heard in her life and she thought it was pathetic. Well she needs to realize that she's married to an old man. No offence Josh. Cheers mate. That's what we are. If anyone's in denial it's Rose. Yeah, what with her uncomfortable shoes? Look, I tell you what, we're going to get to about 60, right? And Rose is going to be in absolute bits. I can't get to walk anywhere because she's been wearing nice shoes. And Robert wears loves your shoes. She has great shoes. What I'm saying is, me and you are going to be in a terrible pair of shoes, but we're going to be flying through that high street. We are going to be, I'll go for a walk, yes, certainly. Why? Because I'm wearing the parent in health 3, thousand. That's why. This episode is brought to you by Nespraso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual.

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Um, right. Now, you know when you're an idiot with your kids to make them laugh which is fun yeah and I enjoy that like you put on a funny hat or something like that yeah you put a sock on your head that kind of that kind of thing you know that kind of that kind of dance yeah you know what I mean you know what I mean you know you'll do something wacky to make your kid laugh what's the wackest thi thatest th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the to the to the the thooooooooooooooooo-I thea thea thea thoo-I their their their kid laugh. What's the wackest thing you've ever done? I don't know. Did you ever pretend to hit your head and fall to the floor? I think the pretend slapstick's fun, isn't it?

That's a pretend slapstick. Or the raspberry is an easy one, isn't it, if you're struggling? Pull my finger to a blow off. yes. I put on a funny hat. I've gone a funny hat for my daughter. What was it? I can't remember and she just looked at me and she said that's not that funny and she said that's actually not that funny just like that. Oh and it was a moment where I thought yeah yeah that's bad because she sort of knows what you're trying to do. Yeah she's, that's not that funny. Just like, very matter of fact, and you've got the hat on your head and you're thinking,

I'm a fucking twat in this situation. I feel like a real way. You should get her in a last leg writer's room. Just the sort of like, any ideas are getting away from you three, and she just goes, actually that's not that funny. What else you've been up that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's not. that's not. that's not. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's not. that's not. that's that's that's not. that's not. that's not that funny. What else you've been up to with the kids? Well, I'm going to send you a video now. My daughter's friend has mistaken me for someone. You'll have to describe the video Rob as you're watching it. Okay, okay, right, I'm going to play the video so. What did you say, Margaret? Then who is it? Who is what?

Who's what? That? So she's sat down in a lovely front room, by the way, beautiful fireplace, and she's eaten plain pasta, which I massively respect, and she's pointing at a telescreen. Why, who did you think it was? Josh? Who? Josh? He thought this person here is Josh? Ha ha ha ha ha!

Halt and John! Let me play? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I don't know how that's how old and John the thus. Now she's familiar and a person who looks like Josh. I don't think Josh's got a coat like that though. Now she said it. I don't think she's far off the market. I'm saying like you take the you take the glitz and glamour away. That's unbelievable. He's never worn a person since he was in his life Rob. No but I'm saying if you if you take Elton John the bare bones of him with his hair, that's what you want to call his hair, normal glasses, not the sparkly one, not the spark, you put him in a striped Pizza Express t-shirt and a blue jacket, you're looking at Josh Winnocken at 73. Oh God, no. I can see it I can see it Josh. I can. She nailed me for who I am.

What does Rose think about this? Does she think you like Oton, John? No, she hasn't said that. She hasn't denied it. Honestly, I'm not you doing it for you can see. I can see it. I don't think you can see it. I think you can see.

I think you can see. I know I could if you strip back the the wacky clothes you I'm not seen now but in a few years Josh. Oh God what do you think Michael? I can't stop looking at the pictures. Yeah I can see it I think the essence of Widicke is in there. Oh for God's sake. That's what it is Michael the essence of Widdocke is there little bit shuffling. A little bit shuffling. the the the the th. I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. That's is is is thi. That's is, thi. That's is, thi. I's is, thi. I's is, thi. I's thi. I is, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooo. the. the. thi. th in you. Element of national treasure around me, is that what you're thinking? Loved by millions. I can't stop looking at pictures of Elton John now. Oh God, is that where I'm going? That's where I'm going. I'm Elton. This one really looks like you. If you take away the brooch the earring and the red sunglasses, you've quite distracted. You've got the same mouth. I haven th, th, the same th, the same mouth th, th, th, th, th, the same sunglasses. Yeah, but I'm quite distracting. Okay, just you got the same mouth. I haven't got the same mouth as I want a chunk. You know where he is there.

Because he's with his son, isn't he? They're just about to watch the snowman. Oh, that's funny. That's fun. I can see that now a bit, Josh. Yeah. Maybe you could finish the tour shows with Rocketman. Rob, when you die, I'm going to rewrite candle in the wind about you. You know what though, Josh, we need to finish big. I'm not going to do Rocketman. We could do, don't go breaking my heart. We could do, don't go breaking my heart. Rob, you could be Kiki D and I can be out on tron. Oh, like, do you know what though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. Josh, th. Josh, th. Josh, th. Josh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to, to to to to to to to to to to, to to to Elton John. Oh my, do you know what though that sort of seems fun on paper but I'm so bad at seeing I think people would

just leave. Yeah, well it's a good way to get people to file out at the end. Okay, I can definitely I can see the essence of you in Elton John. You fancy yourself as a bit of a singer. No I don't want to be a singer. to be a the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thian. I'm thian. I would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would. I'm thin. I would. I'm thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' song. I's. I'm thin' song. I'm th. I'm so so so sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm th. I would. I'm number. I always wanted to be a footballer. You always wanted to be a band. Yeah, but I didn't want to be the singer. I wanted to be the brooding guitarist, Rob. Right, okay. Piano? I can't play the piano. I wish I could. I've always wanted to be able to play the piano. But if it would feel weird to take out the week after you're mistaken for John. I that would be perfect. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to. I. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. tour. I'm on tour, so I'm touring. I've done, I went to Perth, then I went from Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Canberra, I'm in Brisbane now, then I go to Sydney, then I go a Wellington crash at Auckland and then fly home. Oh lovely. Away from the family. A way. A way from from from from from from from from the f. the f. the f. the f the f th. th. the f th. th. th. the f from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from the f from from from the f from the f from from from from from the fi. I'll the f from from from from from from the ferva. I'll the fi the fi the fi the fi the the the the the then, I went from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the f. I the f. I the f from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from the f from from the f from the f from the fervi. I the fervi. I the fervi. I the fervi. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fervi. I the fervi, I the fervi because I'm so tired I basically slept the whole way I am desperately missing the kids now and it's like two weeks is a long time so I've got another week and a half but yeah massively missing them to be honest and what's the contact like how does it work? Basically now like I can only speak to them I have a first thing the morning the last thing at night yeah so the kids wrung me today and it's quite exciting Josh my venue in Brisbane was next door

To the studios of where they make bluey Oh Whoa, that is big and I got invited in I got invited in to see where the magic happens. Oh wow by Joe thingy? Yeah, but he wasn't there the the creaty guy but the team were that have a we're working on a little thing with bluey, aren't we are we can't say? we can't the the th. we can't the th. I I I I I I I th. th. th. I the th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th tho tho tho tho tho the tho the tho the the tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the theee the theee. the. the the thing with bluey aren't we Josh we are we can't say what it is and I've seen the thing oh no way is it good it's good I can't say what it is but I can't say what it is but the parenting hell blue the parenting how times blue yeah yes it's doing that so that's exciting we come yeah they'll announce that in due course but now the problem with Australia is Josh the the time the time the the time the the the time the the the time the the the the the time the the the the the time the the time the the the the time the the time th time th is th is th is th is tho. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is. that's is that's is thi. thi. thi. I I's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's the. the. the. I's the. I's the. I's the. the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. the. they'll announce that in due course. But the problem with Australia is, Josh, the time zones. I didn't realize about the time zones. By the way, it's rained every day since I got here. It's been signed twice in two weeks.

Even though Samson is short. Absolute joke. But it's weird, it's hot but it's a three hour gap between Perth on the West Coast and then like all the stuff on the East Coast. Yeah, yeah, so we flew over it's a three hour gap. Yeah, so I flew to, flew to Melbourne, it was a three hour gap right? Yeah, so I flew to Adelaide, an adelaide was half an hour, it was a half half half half half half half th. th was a half th was a half th was a half th was a half the th was a half th was a half th was a half th was a half th was a half th was a half the there was a half there was a half there was a half th was a half to to to to th was a half there was a half to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. It was a th. It was a the the the the the. the the. the. the. the. thee. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was th. I was a three hour gap right? Yeah. Through Adelaide, whatever is called, the time zone difference. And then I think to Adelaide, an ad lair, was half an hour behind Melbourne. What? I didn't know you could do a half an hour one.

I've just done a half an hour. Yeah. Come on, guys. A half an hour. A half. But an hour and a half behind Adelaide. And it's like an hour of flight. It's fucking bananas, mate. So the problem is Josh, right, I've sort of, I'm on the time zone now. Okay, I go a bed a bit later and wake up a bit later, but that's because I'm finishing work at 10. So that's, I'm on the normal time zone for my job. Yeah. However, the last thing to adjust time. the time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time the time time time time the time time the time time time the time time time time the time the the the the the the the the the time the the the time the the the time to time is the time time the time is time is time is to time is time is time is time is the time the time the time the time the time the time the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the time time time time the time time time time time time time the time. time. the time. time. time. the time. time. to time. to time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time, my bowel movements are still jet lags.

Oh no. I'm a regular guy. Are you one of those people that has a dump at the same time every day? Yeah, I'm regular. What time? Well normally it's after my morning coffee at around sort of seven, eight in the morning. Oh wow, get it out of the way. That's 10 minutes after I've got a boom straight out. And then I'll have another one one later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later later that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to to that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I straight out and then I'll have another one later on that's a little bit more time that can that can shift slightly. However, I've come out here for 12 nights in a row, yeah, I've had to get up another shit of 230 a. Oh my god Rob that is a nightmare. Oh no. And just by doing it every night you're reinforcing the problem. You need to train your anus like a baby you can't train your anus job you can't what the onus will do what it wants when it wants that's what people with babies that don't sleep say Rob that's what I said what should I do stroke my anus

nose yes try your anus is nose I'm gonna well tonight at T30, I'll think of you stroking my anus. Yeah. But I don't know what to do because you can't... And also when you wake up in the middle of the night for poo... Can I just ask? Yeah, this is my big question. So if I go for a poo, right? I will sit, read my phone, enjoy the experience.

If it's, if I go to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the night, and I'm not one of those people that gets up to go to the toilet generally, but you've got got to try and maintain an element of sleepiness. So yeah, it looks, yeah, I'm all over, I look like I've been spiked. Do you? So are you on your phone or are you just going, let's just going, no, no, no, no, no, no, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the toi.oi.oi. the the the the toilete the toilete, the toilete, tooi. to to to to to to to to bed. In the dark. In the dark. Yeah. Bloody hell that's a bit weird. I'm wiping in the pitch black. The thing is, even though I know that's my schedule in Australia, that's just when I do it now, every time I wake up, I always think it's going to be bad because whenever you wake up in the night and need a poo, normally it's a bad thing, it's a bad thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. that's th. th. thi, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. that's thi. that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, It's just absolutely textbook. And what I've been doing is I've been like not getting at, sometimes not getting back to sleep and not sort of being up for the day. And then, 2.30 from your poo. Yeah. But then, poo 30. Yeah. But what I've been doing is having like three hours. Yeah. But what I've been doing is having like three hours.

Oh my God. That's not healthy, is it? That's not good. At one point, I was up for so long with jet lag. Lou texted me, went, Rob, you're okay? I went, yeah, why? She went, every time I've messaged you over the last 72 hours, you've messed, when have you slept? Oh my God. Today domestic airports in Australia are so easy. It's like getting a train.

They've got machines. You don't have to get laptops or computers out. It just scans it. Oh my word. Yeah, I went through an airport like that. It's so fast. There's a UK airport, the London city's now like that. But I was going through it and they'd got the new technology that meant they didn't need to get the laptop out the bag. And the guy was having to have an argument with every single person going

through to tell them to put their laptop back in their bag. Adding to the time scale. It was an absolute disaster adding to the time scale. No, you don't put it back in. No, no, no, you put it back, you put it back, you put it back, you put it back, you put it back, you put it back, you, you, you, you, you put it back, put it back, put it back, put it back, put it, put it, put it, put it, put it, put it, put it, their. their. their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. their. their, their, the in the bag. In the back. But can't it, can I scan it out? No, you can scan it out, but we're trying to speed it up by keeping it in. So you put it back in. And a couple of other things that happen to me. I keep, because I keep just walking about my own. But and also it's quite empty Australia, so's really wholesome Australia. I mean, honestly, if I was like a trade person, if I was a plumber or Casfitter or someone that works outside or a builder, I'd definitely move here because it's just so much nicer to do that job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's such more laid back atmosphere and it's such as easy to get to places. So you're just walking empty empty streets like the the the the tha tha tha tha th. kind of situation. Yeah a little bit. I was walking for a park and it was really pretty and it was I just thought of a joke. Go on. 28 good days later. Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both, because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tasks like Miller time.

Learn more at Miller.C.A. Must be Legal Drinking Age. must be legal drinking age. 28 good days late I like it. Sorry carry on. I wanted to try and film like the park to like because they have all these picnics going on and the weather's beautiful and it's sunny and they've got loads of great facilities. It's a beautiful country's an amazing place to bring up kids. And then I saw I was like, I tried to film like how nice it was. Yeah, I realized I was like I the film like I the film like I the film like I th th th th th. I th th. I was just try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try to film like to film liked. I was just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to film like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try to to try to film like to film like family's picnic and I broke look to you and what you're doing I went nothing and it looks off. Oh yeah so horrible. Oh God and it's weird also as well because like I'm sort of like a

few people know who I am in Australia but not like in the UK so I'm sort of that everyone thinks they want to school with me sort of no yeah yeah yeah that sort of level of fame where where that you people sort thr I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm that th. I'm that that that that th. I'm that that that that that that that that that that thi that thi that that that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi thi thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm so so thi. I'm so thi. I'm so thi. I'm so thi. I'm so thi. I'm so thi. I'm of level of fame where, where that, you know, people sort of recognize your face, but don't we know where from? Just sort of, I'm just like, I'm basically that, like, YouTube look. And so, like, normally, I don't realize how much I get away with sort of being odd in places

by just going, oh, you get a lot of credit for that? Like, are they interested in it? I changed all the references in my show to suit an Australian audience full of fucking British people. Is it? Of course it is. Maybe I should definitely come out. Honestly, it's great.

It's really good. I'm going to do it next time and try and bring the kids. But the problem is communicating with home because it's either so basically I can talk to Lou when I've woken up and I'm full of beans and not if I'm not after 2.30 I'm not. No. You're not calling her for the 2.30 sitting there. No, no, no, no. Loo's phone goes up lunchtime. She's like, oh no, no. He's having a shit. No., so I ring full of beans in excited in the morning, she's tired watching I'm a celebrity, or she rings me full of beans in the morning and I've just finished a gig and I'm not good. So you're never on the same wavelength,

you're always at odds. And then, so Lou, right? So I've been putting in events the right time for the UK but it's coming up in a phone is the odd time because yeah. So I've not even finished putting an event in my diary. He's like we're taking to go and see the Grinch then. I'm like, I've not even, I'm literally, I haven't even finished putting the fucking event like that's the wrong day of because what I have to press is all day events so it means it's on that day so the times of

that affected yeah and she's a fucking go mad I mean anyway I've learned also I learned the do not disturb button because the first three nights I was a way call night messages oh yeah of course oh yeah of course do you know what I've just got into Rob the to record like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their is is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their their their their their try. try. try. I try. I try. try. I try. I to to to to to to to their. I their. I their. I love record screen. What for? Just like, I sent you a bit of a podcast the other day, didn't I? You can just record like, if there's a funny thing, like a funny video, you can just record it. It's great. Anyway, carry on. Did you not know you could do that? No, because I'm an old man. Have you just found that out? Yeah, yesterday. And Rose is worried about that? Rose? Oh, that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. that's that's th. th. that's that's that's tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho thoooooo thooooo thoo thoo thooo thooo tho tho tho tho the the the the the than you than Rose, or is Rose Oda and you? Rose is a month older than me. Do you reckon that's what it is the shoe stuff? Do you mean? She's not supposed to be the cool, she's the cougar.

And I'm the toy boy. You're the little toy boy, sort of a twinky guy and she's like, I've got this young guy. I'm into young guys and now now now thapapapaping th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. I tho, tho, tho, I thi, I thr-I's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's that's, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. thin, thin, thin, th thin, th thoooooooo, th th thr-a. You's not thoooooooooooooooooo, that's that's that's she's like this is not what I signed up for. Yeah, I think when Rose signed up with me she never thought I was a cool young buck. For instance, I'm the kind of person who uses a phrase cool young buck, which is a real kid. Do you want to do some correspondence? Oh, can I ask one more question? Yes, go on. How are your daughters taking to it? You being away? So right this is I mean this might be quite helpful for people to work away. But they're a bit younger now so I don't ask to face time them. Yeah, because that can ruin everything like the balance at home if it's going all right. Yeah. Yes. So if Lou's sort of doing that and I just burst into I like oh I'll you you you you you you you you you that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll th. I'll the th. I'll their th. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. their. their their their th. their their their th. I'll their their their th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I ring Lou and chat to Lou and they're like, oh, Lou will message me when the girls ask to talk to me. Yeah, because I don't want to keep sort of badgering them kind of thing.

So whenever they're talking to them, I always talked to them. But yeah, so I allow them to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do their to do their their to do their their their miss miss miss miss miss miss. their miss. their miss. their miss. their mess. their mess. their mess. their mess. their mess. They'll miss miss missa. their messa. They're their me their their their their their their their their their their their their their mess mess mess mess. their their mess. their mess. their mess. their mess. their mess. their mess. their. They's miss. They's. They'll miss. They'll miss. They'll miss. They'll miss. They'll miss. They'll miss. They'll miss. They'll miss. They're miss. They're missing. toea. tooomkoomea. tooombs. tooomea. tooomea. they're missa. their. their. their. their. their their their their it now because they're so busy at school and at school there's loads of fun stuff going on there like doing rehearsals for Christmas plays and shows and then they had a sleep over it then their nans on Saturday so so by the time I come back yeah it is I am honest at the moment I'm in a bit of a funk if I'm honest because it's like I'm sort of Ithey're so young and so cute and you just want to see them, but yeah, it is really hard, but I think sometimes that they, it's actually the adult and the parent that is struggling more more of it than the kids, they're way harder than you realize. And it's sometimes me going, oh don't worry, I'll be home soon and all that and they'd pick up on that. And I like I I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're, they're they're, they're, they're, they're, thi, thi, thi, they're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're thi, thi, they're thi, they're thi, they're they're they're thin, they're they're thi. It's pretty much. And I have asked after me a little bit but yeah. They want some koala teddies, I've got

them some kowl teddies and they wanted a mummy one and a little one so I found that and then and things like that. So yeah, I'm properly missing them to be this.tour. I've got to wait three years until I've finished my next tour. It's great you should, honestly, they'll love you out here because of the last leg. You'd hope, you'd hope. Can I ask one more Australia question? Yeah, go and go to Ramsey Street? No, I'm not really bothered about that. For God's sakes. Sorry. Oh for God's. What have I've done? I've watched the Australia game. No the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tho. tha. tha. tha. thoa. tha. tha. tha. thoa. thoa. thoa. thoa. thoa. thoa. their their their the really weird times. Oh yeah, it's the World Cup. Is that a thing over there? Not really, no, they don't understand what's going on. I was in a pub with the Australia game and they were winning, they beat someone, they beat someone, did they beat? I can't remember. They beat someone, oh, they're like come come on let's go let's go you know I don't know why they're American let's fucking

do it my gun the rose and all that anyway he got to like 89 minutes and 90 and 50 seconds they started going like 10 oh come on like as if a buzzer was gonna go oh no oh that's obviously they're counted down to zero and then it was like six minutes extra. I was like, the fuck it, hell may, what's going on? Six more minutes? I was just like, oh fuck off, I don't think you lose. I'm glad you're enjoying it, Rob.

No, it is good. I please come to the show tonight on the 29th of November, because I sold out the room on the Wednesday. So let's put another show on Tuesday. Yeah. I have not sold that one out Josh. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. What percentage are we talking? I mean, I think 38%. Oh, that's going to be.that's a tasty one and also what you've got to remember with that 38% of people Rob they are also the people that wanted to come the least. Yes because they bought it after the first lot. Yeah so so they're also the least pumped for the experience as well just as a helping hand I just want you to know that. Yeah I think there's gonna be an entire balcony empty it's gonna feel like i've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. their. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty. thirty. thirty. thirty. th. thirty. th. th. th. th. th you to know that. Yeah I think there's going to be an entire balcony empty. It's going to feel like I've been cancelled. Well it's practice. It's fine there Rob because you're doing them in the right order. You've added one on the Tuesday. Yes. You're not doing Wednesday, great. Thursday. Oh no, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. they'll be fine. Get them to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tape. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their their their the and they'll be fine. Get them to leave the football early. I might reroute a fun run into the theatre.

Just change all the signs. Yeah, this way, just coming here. Yep, there you go. Take a seat. And the percentage of your audience are Brits, then? In real terms. in the room to be honest. Has there been any parenting hell people? Any parenting hell mentions? Yeah I've been at a few gigs where someone went, where's Josh? Yeah. That's the same making for. That's not how it works. Then I'm awkward thing is I have to explain to half the room who you are because not

everyone listens to the podcast. So if they said Josh would have to a? told. If they said Josh would have known you to be. to be. they. to be. to be. to. they. to. they. I. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I was. Where. I'm. I'm. I'm. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm's Josh? Yeah, and I went well, he's probably at home. I'm in Australia Then I turned around and I went I've just checked he's fucking your mom and I wasn't proud of it. He's great stuff. That was good stuff. That was good stuff. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's t. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they've been good to gigs. They're brilliant audiences. I love it out here, to be honest. It's really nice, but I just quite like to do with my family. Oh, Rob. There's more things in the world. I'm not moaning. I don't want any sympathy. I'm very lucky to do what I do.

And I fucking to fucking sleep though, mate. Unruppity and people that aren't sleeping, but... Sleeping a lot. Do you want me to do a quick bit of correspondence? Oh, past life children's stories. Are we up for this? Oh yes, it's... This from Dan Shribber.

Yeah, this is what kind of topic. Hello, Rob and Josh. Thanks for a great podcast. I'm reading Dan Shriver's book and I'm loving it. There's a thing about a theory in it that some people have. This isn't the thing, I'm just telling you. Yeah, no, no, no, sorry. I realized you thought that might have been the email. they, no, no. So was that an instruction to listen to this? They shouldn't listen to this big? No, no, no, sorry, what I meant was, this isn't the email, this is me speaking. The theory about the Titanic is that the reason it sunk is because it had so many time travelers on it, right? Oh, do me a favor. No, is it's they're they. Are they he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he heavier the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. The their. The their. The their. The their. The their. The their. The their. The their. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. the. The. the. the the the the the the the the the theory. theory. theory. theory about. theory about. theory about. theory about. theory about. theory about. the theory about. the theory about. theory about. the the the the the the theory is if people could time travel, right, then they'd all go to the historic points in history and so they'd all go to the Titanic and then so many people on the Titanic that it sinks. Who the fucks doing that? Well, that's a good point, isn't it?

Who's going to the Titanic? Yeah, but what came first in the sinking? Well that's the interesting thing, Ro Ro Ro Ro Ro Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Ro. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, thin, thin, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th. And, and th, and th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the, th. And, the, the, the, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, the then, the the then, then, then, then, the the the the the, they, the time travel has started going. If I could time travel, Tied Titanic will be so far down the list of where I'd go. Where are you going, Rob? I'd rather go to the premiere of the Titanic with Leonhard Oda Capro and Kate Winsit. What a night that would be? Oh great, Gemma Collins, Charlie Brooker, they'd all be there. Yeah, where would you go ifto like the 60s in London or the 90s in London. God I'm unambitious. Where would you go? I think I'd go to like major sporting moments or like I'd go to like a gig with an oasis played to like 200 people.

Oh right, yeah. Well that's the thing. If I went to the 90s, you know, if I was in the 90s at the height of Britpop, or as the 60s in London when the Beatles were living there and all that, oh man. And your time travel in just to live there and not time travel again? I'm packing about five gigs a night. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm just doing a good night sweet. So you're just time tickets of all these different bands jumping about.

You're quantum- I mean you can go again, can't. So would you go to, actually I would go Titanic if I could... There he is. Someone's weighing down the Titanic. This is how it works, Rob. This is how it works. I'd go to the V's unlucky losers. Then you'd slip straight in with them. That would be a horrible place to go because it might be awful. If you time travel to the Titanic you'd get there and go this is horrific I've got to go.

I'm just going to leave. Yeah. And time travel somewhere else. What about JFK? One of those? Would you do like one of those big events like that? Would you change anything Rob? No, I'd go out on the piss and watch a few bands and then I'd put something in front of it so Jeff Capay didn't die to see what happened. Hello, Rob and Josh. Thanks for the great podcast. I love listening. I've no kids but have worked in a nursery for 20 years. I listened to one of the recent episodes where you asked if anyone's children had said that they had been here before. My sister, who is now 32 years old, told us when she was five years old, that she used

to be John Lennon. She could tell us random information, such as his address, his favorite food, etc. I know his address. Things a five-year-old wouldn't normally really know and this was before we had the internet. Oh my neck's tingling. Yeah, this is weird, isn't it? You know, you get that like spooky? I don't like it. I'm in a hotel on my own. I don't like it, Josh. My dad said to her, well it can't be true as you were born in 1990 and John Lennon passed away in 1980. My sister looked then then then then then th th th th, my th, my th, my th, my th, my th, my th, my th, my sister, my sister, my sister, my sister th, my sister looked th, my sister looked and my dad had said, I was a squirrel for 10 years.

Okay, I don't, I don't, I don't, I believe it less now, weirdly, the squirrel stuff. But how did you know the address? I depends, the address he died, that was the Dakota building in New York, and I actually know the name of the house he grew up in Rob because I'm a nerd but I didn't when I was five So how does a five-year-old know that and did John Lennon have a favorite food? I don't remember that? I've never heard that about John Lennon Favorite food. I reckon it's whatever yolk I know cooked. Yeah, well have you heard his episode of off-men you? Well have you heard his episode of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thi. thi. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi., jelly and tea were his favourite foods.

There you go. So there you go. That's a good past lifeer, isn't it? Do you want one more past life, and then we'll do small business? Are you feeling nervous in your hotel room? Are you feeling nervous in your hotel room? Listening to these?

I felt creaked out by that, then the squirrel made Shriber rep, I wanted to share my spooky experience of my child talking about a previous life. When my daughter, now eight, was about five, I was lighting a fire in the lounge. She kept getting really close, so I told her to be careful and that she must always stay away from fire. She said, um, mum when I was Emily Elizabeth, which is not her name, and lived with my grandmother in the big house because my parents were dead, I used to have to like 50 fires every day, so you don't need to tell me. I was totally freaked out. Halloween is her favorite time of year and she loves a graveyard.

Love the podcast. Who the fuck is this good? Thanks for keeping me saying, Jan. Oh my god. Oh my god. Scary. I don't like it. What do you think it is though that kids have like proper vivid dreams? I tell you know. And they just pick up stuff for just folks trying to their it. Because I try to do lucid dreaming for a bit. You ever done a lucid dream where you control your dreams. No, can you do that? Yeah, you can. You have to just try, the books you can do, you have to train your brain. It's basically getting to your self-conscious thing where it's like, you have to keep saying, am I not dreaming or is this real? Yeah. And then you go and do, and then, but then you sort of do that as you're sleeping as well, you can sort of, you can't, you, you, you, you, you, as, as, you, you, as, as, as, you, the, th.. the, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. the, the, the, you, the, you're, to, to, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. the the the the books, the books, they, the books, the books, the books, the, the, the, the want in your dreams. Oh, that's good. I might have a go of that. But you have to train yourself to do it.

It's like a bit of a... Did you manage it? Yeah, I just basically, in my dream I had a shit at 4 a.m. just for a couple of extra sleep. I'm all right. I'd say, Rob, that's it. I'd say, Rob, I'd, I'd, I'd. the, I'd. the, I'd. the, I'd. the, I'd. the, I'd. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'll just, no, hopefully my bummer will change its sketch, but I'll keep me posted. Do you want to do small business?

Oh yes, I forgot about that. That's the perfect end to a podcast. I've got one here. Here we go. This one here is from Paul. This one's from Paul in Great Nelsmajor. One of my best mates. A tieieieieieieieieieieieie. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to do to do to do to to to to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to to to to to to to to the the the their their their the. their their the baking business. She's done amazingly well, setting up the business all on her own and has worked very hard and would love some more followers and she lives in Benfleet, Essex and would love a shout out for her social media and it's this one here. At cakes away. Cakes Away, Cakes Away, Cakes Away, Cakes Away, to Cakes Away,

on Instagram and Facebook, Cakes Away, Cakes Away, takes away, go to Cakes Away, Go to Cakes Away and the Fake, and the Cakes Away bakery. Go ahead to Cakes Away, their cakes away, Oh, she's very good. She's got a van as well. I've the f got Elf on the Shelf this year. You can hire a van. So it cakes away. Good luck with that. 19. Running a business. Unbelievable. What are you doing at a business? unbelievable. What are you doing at 19, Josh? I was at a university. I was running a business. I wasn't running a business. thrown. I didn't. I wasn't running. I wasn't running. I wasn't running. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm running a business. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running running running running a business. I'm running a business. I'm running a business. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm running. I'm running running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm. I'm. I'm running. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm running. I. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. I'm the the the the the the the th. I'm running a business. th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the th. the the the the th. the Good honour. Cakes away. I need to ask you about Elf on a Shelf next episode, Rob, because I don't know what to do with it and it's creeping up.

Please could you give a small business shout out to my friend's brand new business at Super Dinky, UK, UK. Super Dinky, UK. They make beautiful, handmade vests and outfits specifically for NICU babies, which stands for Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. So, they are designed to be dressed around lines and tubes to give parents that first outfit experience for their friends and family

to give us gifts and support during a difficult time. My friend's baby was nearly 10 weeks early and her business partner was an NICU nurse that gave her support breastfeeding and made the world of difference to her journey. Please give Super Dinky a shout out as the community around their Instagram is also there to support NICU parents. That is a great business. Super Dinky UK. Everyone go out and support that. Lovely. Well, all done, Joshua. See on Friday Joshua. See on Friday, Rob. See on Friday. See on Friday, for another interview. See there. Bye.