Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP42: Jarred Christmas (The Return)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

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Starting point is 00:01:45 Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may three, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hill with, Behold, hello. Joey, can you say, Rob Beckett. tockle. the job job buddy. I like it.

Starting point is 00:02:08 There we go. I like the quite annoyed Aggie. I want to hold it. Yeah, from the kid. This is my three old son Joseph. It goes without saying that I love the podcast. Fair enough. Oh, sure.

Starting point is 00:02:20 I hate it, but I just want the acclaim of the intro. Who's like you saying that odd? Who you that, who you, who you, who you, who you, who you, who that, who that, that, who that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, thoom, tho, thoom. thoom. to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me me, to me, to me me, to me me, to me me, to me me me, to me, to me, to me me, to me to the intro. Who's that you saying that? Who are you talking? You've cheered me up and made me feel a lot more sane during those endless nights when Joey won't sleep or the days where you clock watch until bedtime. Chin up, Jess. Jess, I'm originally from Ken. Trying to do a comedy show, Jess, what you're saying?

Starting point is 00:02:41 Thank you, Jess. Goes without saying we love to the voice note. How are we, Robert? I'm good. I've got bad news for you though, Josh. Oh no. What? I've been hearing things about hand, foot and mouth. Oh no. What? Your fingernails are going to fall out. They're not going to... My, the end of my, so I'm, we don't do this for the camera. Yeah. The end of my fingers, I'll turn it. If you can see. They're all blistered. Yeah, they've all blistered. I've got a fucking, I've had to put a little plaster on my left finger.

Starting point is 00:03:14 You don't realize how much you use your left finger till you've got a plaster on it. What are you doing your left finger? Tell you what I'm doing, Robbing tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho their tho thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho-I thi. thi. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they're all they're all they're all. they're all. they they're all. they they're all. they're all. they're all. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're all theea. thea. they're all thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' they're all they're all blia'ea' they're all these days the world's slowest texts Because I can't use my left thumb on my screen because it's not reading I'm a one-thumber you're one-thumber. Yeah. Oh, I'm well I am at the moment. So yeah, but what's handy Josh apparently if you have hand-foot-and-mouth your fingernails, your fingernails, your fingernails, your fingernathing. Google fingernails, handfoot mouth, they fall out. Eventually because... I'm not googling fingernails, hand foot or mouth. Rosa just walked in. Right, right? I'm recording this in the kitchen. Okay, tell Rose, your fingernails are going to fall out.

Starting point is 00:03:56 Oh, it says my fingernails are going to Google it because I'll be images I don't want to see. Okay, do you want me to read it out to you? Yeah, complications of hand foot and mouth. Yeah, but that's a complication of hand foot and mouth. In some cases... Rose has just added that my fingers are gross. They are. I've just seen them. They're disgusted. It says, in some cases, people may lose a fingernailow, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, th, th, th, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to, their, tho, to, th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, th. tho, to, tho, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. too. to.ail loss have been in men aged between 35 and 45. You've added that. I did that. I haven't added that.

Starting point is 00:04:31 Oh dear. Well, so far my fingernails are holding on in there. Only because you've got a plaster on your thumb. What? Holding it on? I'd say what, I reckon, I could imagine the finger falling off my wedding finger, but a thumb now coming off. This is disgusting. People don't th that that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you have that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've that, you've thatell you what, I reckon I could imagine the finger now falling off my wedding finger but a thumb now coming off has got a bit, this is disgusting people don't want to hear this to that. No they don't hear this. But let's start your fingernails and thumb to tell you. Okay I'll keep you informed over the festive season as to whether I've still got finghnails. Oh God, it's the fes. It's. It's f. It's fest. It's fest. It's fest. It's fest. It's fest. It's fest. It's fest. It's fes. It's fes. It's fes. It's f- It's f- It's f- It's thus. It's thus. It's thus. It's thus. It's thi. It's disgusting. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's disgusting. It's this. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's th. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's thi. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's just just just just just just just just just just just just just like. It's like. It's like like. It's like, it's like like, it's like, it's like thi. It's like like th. It's like thi. It's like thi. Tuesday, Rob. Yeah. I've bought one present. Okay, who for? Who for? Is she in the kitchen?

Starting point is 00:05:12 No, she's not in the kitchen. Oh yeah, I have bought her main present now. Rose? Rose? Yeah. Unless someone else is it? Who's the thrown? No, Rose is left now.

Starting point is 00:05:24 Who's who youtwo the presents. No, no, Rose's left now. Okay. I'm on my head. Oh, you're on your right, okay. Yeah, that's it. That's all I've done. I've bought one present. I'm really struggling the moment, Josh, because I've completely checked out for Christmas. I'm mentally, it's Christmas.

Starting point is 00:05:36 Because when you, I don't know if I said this on the last last last last last the last th. I just go bed at 9 p.m. and wake up at 3.30 a. That's normal, fine. That's just a normal regime. It's just a normal day-time regime. Does Lou need to make you cry out? Is that how it's going to work? What? Well, what happened? I'll cry. She needs to just return to the UK from Australia and it snowed and it's Christmas.

Starting point is 00:06:12 My brain can't accept I've still got going to work. I keep turning up to jobs going, I can't believe. I've flown back from Australia. It's snowed. How is it not Christmas? Fuck! You've checked out for Christmas, Rob. That'd be a good Christmas song. I've checked out for Christmas. Checked out for Christmas. I've got a really good idea for a Christmas film, but I don't want to tell people on here. Tell Tom Parry.

Starting point is 00:06:36 Well, I don't have to tell them copyrighting thing in a minute, write it all down and then put it in an envelope and send it to yourself. Really? So it's got like a time stamp on it. Well, okay. Well, I'll tell you another time. Oh, okay. I thought that was annoying, I'll tell you now. Basically, the idea is that it's a pantomime and the pantomimeime is is is pan, it's is is pa, it's is pa, it's is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it's a, it's a, it's a the, it's a pantom, it's a pantomime, it's a pantomime, it's a pantomime, it's a pan, it's a pan.. It's a pan. It's a pan. It's a pant. It's a. the, it's a. the, it's a. the, it's a. the, it's a, it's a. the, it's a. the, it's a pantom, it's a. the, it's a pant actors and then it'll be some that used to be together and then they have to spend Christmas together because they get snowed in and they have to spend

Starting point is 00:07:12 it in the theater and yeah that's nice and yeah I don't think anyone's gonna make that well if they do we'll know yeah I'm gonna gonna to be a to the. Dean Gaffney's already put 10 grand in. Um, no, this is what happened, Josh. Me and Romesh did ice skating in Sheffield for our Christmas special of Robin and Ramesh versus. So when you say, I keep up and go out and work. It's all kind of relative, isn't it? You try ice skating in front of 10,000 people and what happens is- you're- My Todd Cartie? You get kids that are excited to see all the Disney characters and then me. Oh what you did it are frozen? No, Disney on Ice? Disney on ice. Yeah, yeah. So anyway.

Starting point is 00:07:53 But I did that, came home, got home at 1 a.m. and I've been in, I've got a driven back because it was a train strike and I needed to do a blow off so much Josh and I can't find a car can you? Right. No, you can't I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I I th. I'm I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not on th. I'm not on th. I'm not on th. I'm not on th. I'm not on th. I'm not on the the th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm th and I needed to do a blow off so much Josh and you can't find a car can you right? No, you can't. I'm not on the motorway. It's too awkward for a long journey to just sit and I knew I had to do a big one. I'm in the back. Oh, I'm doing that.

Starting point is 00:08:15 No, no, I'm a loud blow off for her. Anyway, so I got in and everyone was asleep, it was one a am and I got into bed and it was so warm and cozy, it was so cold and I lay in there and I did a blow off, a fart, whatever you want to call it, the loudest one I've ever done and it won't glue up with a jolt like there was an intruder. You know people they wake up like they're just gasping for breath, that kind. And then she said what was that and I had to say it was my bottom. It's my anus. It's my anus. My anus.

Starting point is 00:08:51 My anus. Sorry. It's my, also we've had another birthday. It was my youngest. How did that go? How did your cake? Cake hunt and go. Cake hunt. Yeah, basically, the person making the cake is too ill to make the cake. She's unwell.

Starting point is 00:09:07 Everyone's unwell, aren't they at the moment? It's almost like, it's like, I don't know. It feels like it. It's the first winter and it, without COVID stuff, isn't it? So we're all near each other. Yeah, well, I don't give a shit. You're a little blister thumb, horrible little blister thumb. Yes unfortunately she's not very well so she couldn't do it but anyway save the day you came in with your cake making expert, is it Coglunds? Coglunds yeah so they're helping out so they're helping out, well help it out they make it a they make it a cake yeah that's the job that got got got got got got got sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're helping. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they. they. they. they. they're they. they're they. they're helping. they're helping. they're helping. they're helping. they're helping. they're helping. they're helping. they're they're they're they're they's their job. That got sorted and encanto cake, but they cut they don't do character one so they're doing ones the right colors and then we're putting toppers on it because the parties

Starting point is 00:09:49 on Sunday. We did the presents today. One thing that's quite funny and quite divaring, I don't know if my daughters are ungrateful or I respect it. Sometimes Lou wraps up like if she buys them nice clothes for winter. they their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their. them up as a Christmas or a birthday present and go hold here's an extra present they like his present and my daughters go clothes aren't presents we need them did you what they don't they that's not acceptable Rob that's not that I respect there was that numby these aren't presents these are clothes we need clothes we want only luxury items that's no they're not they're no but I that I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that's not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not that's not that's not not not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not I that's not that's not I that's not that's not I that's not they that's not that's not I that's not I that's not I that's not I that's not I that's not that's not I that's not I that's not I that's not I that's not I that's not I I I that's not I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that's not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not I they's not not not I they's not not not not not not I'm not not like like like like like like like like like like like like like. that's not not they's not not that's not not like like like like like like like like like. that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not I'm not I'm not I's not I's not I that there was that numby, these aren't presents, these are clothes, we need clothes. We want only luxury items. Yeah, no, but I think they just want to want toys. Like, well no, it's got to be.

Starting point is 00:10:32 That's incredible. They don't see clothes as a present. Yeah, obviously clothes are present if it's a clothes you want or a specific thing. Yeah, but if like, yeah, if it's just like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's just, they's just, they's just, they's just, they's just, they's just, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, I, I, I, I, I, I, I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, I, I they're, I they're, I they're, I, I they're, I, I they're, I, I, I, I they're, I, I, I, I they they they're, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, they're, they're they're they're just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. th. they're just just just they're just they're just they're just, I've wrapped it up. Yeah, here's a five pack of t-shirts from H&M in different colors. Yeah, that's fine, but that is like, it doesn't feel like... So I don't know, I don't know, it's like, it doesn't feel like, it's a present. Yeah, I think that's fair. I don't know if I'm supposed, I'm just just just just just. It's quite jazzy. They're not too much basics. It's not just like, pack it nickers. Here's three socks for a five-year-old.

Starting point is 00:11:10 But I don't know, yeah, I don't know if I should be telling them off or not. No, I don't think you can telling lo off Rob I'm not gonna tell low off I don't need I've still need deep in the last last conversation you have with her you won't grow up with a joll it was a proper like cartoon like trombone like what I used to do remember when you first started dating someone did you cock your leg like a man in a 70s sitcom but that's what I normally do I'm a we must I'm a think I'm a the the the the the the the th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the last I the last I the last I the last I the last I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm theeee. I'm the the's what I normally do. I'm a I'm a cheek spreader normally. I spoke about this. Are you? Have you ever lived once? Michael's panicking now because you've already overshot by the time he knows it's a late night edit. I'll quit interior this and we'll get Jared Christmas on. Basically, remember when you used to go and date someone or like and you started staying over at their house and you didn't want to do a poo in the house

Starting point is 00:12:05 You didn't even want to do any farts and all that stuff because it's a new relationship It's like I'd took me laying in bed with them and then like I'd go to the toilet but the toy was up like an unsuited It was like right in the door. It's like you can't their what you that you that you that that th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the th th th that that that that that that thi's that thi's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th my word. And then I did one though because I, you know it was hurting so much I was only in the bed. Anyway, I got out, I did it and I did it and I pulled my cheeks part and I actually timed it. You're actually timed it. You're I thought you're going to shoot yourself. I thought you chatted it. No, no, you're I know. I know I know that. How did you time you time you time you time you time you time you time you time you time you time you time you time you time you time you their their their their. You. You. You're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. that. How did you time it? Your watch is on your arm which is holding your chicks apart. Two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi. And honestly I actually felt like I was just going to fall to the floor like a sort of morph suit because I was empty. Should you get Jared Christmas on? Yeah, so do you want to just do a bit of background, Rob?

Starting point is 00:13:05 We've had Jared on before we didn't get to talk about any parenting because I made him tell a long story about Priscilla Presley. Yes, that feels quite on brand for us, isn't it? Anyway, yeah. So we want to get him back and talk to him about parenting because he's one of our favorite people in the world. And I want to talk to him about people from New Zealand because he is very different to all the people I met there. And I thought I was getting a country full of Jarred's. And also crucially Rob his surname's Christmas. Here's Jared Christmas. Jared you look unbelievable. You lost weight. I have lost weight thanks mate. Thanks. You haven't seen my stomach. Yeah. I have been trying to do 40 push-ups a day. Yeah. On one go or spreading them out. I can barely do 10 in one go. Um, spread out. I was determined, right?

Starting point is 00:13:58 I was like 40 a day, I'm going to be a machine. Yeah. Yeah. And then I reckon day four was when my, uh, my elbow said you're too fat for the strength in your arms. And I've now got tennis elbow. Oh no. Yeah. Bruton. After four days. Four days.

Starting point is 00:14:18 Have you thought about varying your exercises away from just, I'm not a personal trainer but I think a pure push-up diet is is quite a weird way to approach fitness. Are you sure? Because it's meant to be an all over workout isn't it? It's like arms, bit of core. If you keep your legs and buns tight. Oh you've got to keep your legs and buns tight. Mate there's so many there's so many YouTube videos. If people keeping the buns the buns the buns the buns the buns the buns the buns tube tube tube tube tube tube tune tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thae to be tha ti to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooomp. tooom. tooom. tooes tooes tooes tooes tooes to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha many YouTube videos. Have people keeping them on site? Yeah. Well, Jarron, this is your second time on the show. Lucky. Really lucky. A lot of people don't get us back.

Starting point is 00:14:52 No, it was a great- A lot of people don't ask to come back. Sorry, big to come back. Jarvin, for the people that have not listened before, basically, you came on before and just told an amazing story about when you work with Priscilla Presley for like 40 minutes, and we didn't really talk about your kids? No, that's true. How old are you kids? You got two daughters?

Starting point is 00:15:13 Yes, I do. A 13 year old and a 10 year old. Right. And are they friends of Praned? My youngest never met her but the oldest did. Spent some time with PP. And she gave me a Christmas bobble saying, Merry Christmas, 2012 Priscilla Presley on it. So that's the first ballroom that goes up on the tree. Yes. There we go. Talking point.

Starting point is 00:15:41 And I don't want to go back to Pantam. But you've just come straight from a Panto haven't you? Yeah so I'm in Panto at DeMontford Hall in Leicester. Oh nice, that's a lovely venue. Yeah with with AJ and Curtis Pritchard. But that's what I was getting to. I want to hear about AJ and Curtis Pritchard. Oh they're good times man. So one of them's a dancer from Strictly. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to ta. ta. ta. talk. ta. ta.a. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they're good times, man. They're genuinely and so one of them's a dancer from Strictly, right? And others from Love Island. Oh, both of them dance. Yeah. So AJ's from Strictly. Curtis did Love Island, but he also did like the Irish version of Dancing with the Stars or something. Those boys have got, they're like Shakira, their hips don't lie to to other people. But... which is weird. They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they're, they're like, like, they're, like, they're, like, like, they're, like, like, like, like, they're, like, like, like, like, lied to me. I don't know if they're lying to other people. Which is weird because we're strictly a lot of the daughters hips are lying all the time, on they? They're partners. Big time.

Starting point is 00:16:33 But I had a beautiful, beautiful, weird moment this morning when my wife rung me at 10 a.m. And my wife rung me, that the bonnet on the car. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. to the to the their their to to to to their to to to to to to their to to to toe, their to their to toe, to toe. Wea. Wea, they're they're they're they're toe. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. W. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theateate. theate. the. thea. thea. they're they're their the. W. W. W.m. and our show was starting at 10 a.m. and she run me basically going how do you pop the bonnet on the car I need to put coolant into it yeah so I'm talking her through that meanwhile I can hear through the tanoy that there's a dance number and then I'm on and so I'm talking talking it through putting cool into the car. She's a very capable person but we've just got you know we've just got one those French cars that the bonnet thing is on the other side on the passenger side anyway talking it through that and then she's like this is so stressful

Starting point is 00:17:16 and I'm like I'm about to go on stage and literally hung up from her and then ran straight on. Rock and roll. So talk about your 10 a.m. show and then I laughed. Yeah, so all this week we've been doing shows for schools. So we do a 10 a.m. show and then a quarter past one show. Oh. But from Saturday we're at 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. And is it fun? It's a lot of fun. It's hard work. I mean, look, is it really hard work? You know what I mean? There's a lot of people going on strike who do actual hard work. Yeah. I'm going, oh, I've had to do two shows a day guys. I barely have time in between shows to do a Wagamama Katsu curry.

Starting point is 00:18:05 Yeah, but what I would say is though, after a month of AJ and Curtis Pritchard, that may, you may need a break. Maybe, because they are both so pure and so nice, I would just be like, is there a darkness there? That's all I'm thinking all the time. It's just sweetness. I'm going to have to have so many fillings after hanging out with those guys because they're both proper sweet and Evie Pickerel from C. BBs. And are your daughters excited about it? Yeah, big time. Have you introduced them to the pretzials? They haven't got up there yet. They're coming up on the 28th to watch the show. And are they excited or that they reach the age and I hate to say that where they're embarrassed.

Starting point is 00:18:48 No, 13 year old wants to be in performing art. She wants, she does drama and acting. So I think she watches it going, oh, I'd really like to be doing that. And the 10-year-old loves it. Great. Loves it. Yeah, she's not embarrassed by me yet. And what about your wife? What about your wife, Jared?

Starting point is 00:19:10 How does she feel about watching you as buttons? There's a lot of eye-rolling, especially, mate, I ran my material past her whilst she was trying to do her actual work of marketing for a museum and I'm sitting there going, do you think I can do a joke about the Russian buttons having a nightmare because Putin keeps trying to push him? Do you think I can do that? She's like, I'm actually trying to do a proper job. How did the joke go down with the audience? Not allowed to do it.

Starting point is 00:19:50 No, I think I said. All that's allowed to do it. There's been a couple of jokes that, not, not, not allowed. I'm sure if I'd really pushed it. They just went. Do you think that's what people who have spent a lot of money to come to a Christmas a Christmas a Christmas a Christmas a Christmas a Christmas a Christmas a Christmas to a Christmas to a Christmas to a Christmas to a Christmas to a Christmas show. They want to be reminded about the potential of nuclear war. Yeah, no, fair call guys. Yeah, it depends how long the second half is, didn't it? Yeah. It might be a welcome relief. You know what it's like being a comedian? Sometimes you just, you're just thinking in the joke, right? And you're like, oh, that's of go to you, yeah, this is a Panto. And so are you commuting every day to Leicester from Bath? No, I got a day off tomorrow.

Starting point is 00:20:34 So I drove back after the show tonight and so I'll have tomorrow off and then I'll drive back up on Saturday. I get one day off a week. Oh so we've got you on here for your first your first, you've run back home from the gig straight into your toilet to do straight into the toilet. Oh look in all honesty I used it first and then locked on. I heard my 13 year old sung a couple of Christmas songs. She's learning the guitar. Oh nice. She did a bit of that.

Starting point is 00:21:10 I caught up with a 10 year old. She's made a Christmas reef. So we had a bit of a catch up. Now I'm on with you boys. And what's it like working over Christmas? Do you miss your family? Yeah, I do. I'm going to, you know, I get sad at night when I'm listening.

Starting point is 00:21:26 Oh, Jared, Jared. Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. What are you thinking? I've watched a lot of Disney Plus. Yeah. That's not what you thought you were going to say. Oh, what did you think I was going to say, Josh? It wasn't Disney Plus. After a day of Panto, I don't want to chop one out. Panto doesn't stir up the loins, it's not.

Starting point is 00:21:52 No, it's not a sexy show. No, but I tell you what, A.J. Curtis, they've got buns. I mean, they're not going to turn me, but I have looked. I've got to ask. Oh, man. He's doing more than push-I push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. to. I. tothey're not going to turn me, but I have looked. I have called myself going, oh man, he's doing more than push-ups. Josh is right. That's what I was thinking. Is there this the push-up regime an instant reaction to meeting A. Jankerchus Pritchard? I think it is, I haven't're both so hard, aren't they?

Starting point is 00:22:26 Their bodies are so hard. Chiseled. Yeah. You know when blokes are comfortable with who they are and what their body is? So they're just sitting their pants. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:22:36 Oh, I've constantly got a t-shirt on the go. Yeah, me too. Do you know, when I feel like I'm going through a bad period of not happy with the way I'm looking, I wear a t-shirt in bed because I can't even be topless in bed. Really? And not because of rose, because I can't bear the thought of looking down on myself. Yeah. I once, during sex, saw my body in the mirror and lost my erection. And so when's your last one before Christmas, you doing Christmas Eve?

Starting point is 00:23:08 Christmas Eve, yeah. And then you drive home, drive home, get home about 11. Yep. Do Christmas Day, then drive back up, boxing day. Oh, it's a brutal schedule. It's tough on the kids, it's tough on the kids. It's really tough on Amelia. But you know, it's all about the the their. to their. to say's to say's to say's to be their. their. to be their. their. their. the kids man it's tough on the kids it's really tough on Amelia but you know it's all about the I was gonna say Benjamin's but it's not over here is that the green bucks it's all about the Prince Charles and that the Sterling yeah King Charlie the Reddy's C's sounds like but keep it's all like the King Charlie sounds up you're doing it if the coda's a codape of it so the a coke. I just got a massive coke out it so the kids are going to have to work right. It's the Christmas diet, it's what I talk about when I was saying snow. It must be hard on them then because obviously there'll be a bed by the time you get back or

Starting point is 00:23:54 they're going to stay up for you. Um, Christmas Eve they won't, New Year's Eve they will. Yeah, Yeah, hardcore. And what's your Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas. And what the Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, yeah, yeah like as a family? As a family, morning we do pancakes for breakfast, we open presents, and then around about midday head over to Amelia's parents' place. And the whole family gathers there, and we just basically eat through the day. And it's great. And with the presents, I found when me and Rose got together, we had different approaches to open in the presence and I didn't realize how controversial it was. Okay, yeah, go on. You're aware of, you know, you've met me, you know me, so I'll give you the two approaches and I'll ask you which you think is me. Yep. Okay. One of us will open all the presents in turn with everyone seeing each person open their presence so they can enjoy it. One of us thinks it should be a free for all where everyone

Starting point is 00:24:53 just opens all the presents wherever they want to open their presence, whether the people that gave it to them them saw it or not. Okay, I'm judging by your tone. That's a second one is Rose's approach. Dripping with disgust. I'm actually on your side dear Josh for that. I'm not fully on your side. One at a time, everyone takes turns. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And it makes it last longer.

Starting point is 00:25:23 Yeah. But when do you do yours, Jared? When do you do yours, Josh? What time, what time the morning or day? Well, not quite first thing. It used to be absolute first thing. But the kids are a bit older now, so we can hold them off for maybe 45 minutes to, you know,

Starting point is 00:25:38 to dad can have at least splash water on his face. Do you still do stalkings? Yeah, yeah, don't tell them that though. Josh, I imagine you're an afternoon guy after dinner. No, no, no, no, no, no. I love Christmas to him. There are people that do that. There are people that do that. Scum. Actual scum. Sorry. Eight seconds ago, you imagined I was one of them. Have you heard of these people who don't do presents on Christmas Day anymore, they go out to the Boxing Day sales? Ah, get all the bargains and then hand it. Come on now. You're not living.

Starting point is 00:26:23 You're not living. No, you're being dictated by market forces and that's no. Exactly. Exactly. Your human Bitcoin. Yeah. I liked the flow of that. I don't fully understand that. That's not me neither.

Starting point is 00:26:36 I don't understand it. I was all over it. I wasn't going to question that kind of logic. Yeah, Rose, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was th. I was the, I was th. I was, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't going to question that kind of logic. Yeah, so I go breakfast. Rose, then we'll go, there needs to be some kind of food prep that happens for a bit. And then we do the presents about 11 maybe. Oh, it's still a long wait, mate. How old are your kids? I'm not half prick. He's half prick. He's half prick. He's, mate. I've never met such a semi in my life.

Starting point is 00:27:06 How old are your kids? Five and one. Okay, see they can, the five-year-old must be complaining. No, because she's, she's high on the, she's high on the stocking, oh, she's desperate to help make the lasagna. I make make the the the the lass. She's the lasagna, she. She's, she's, she's, she's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thathea'. thoes. thoom. thoom. th. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to. tha. to. the tha. tha. the the tha. the tha. the tha. the tha the lasagna. That's dead. I make the lasagna on Christmas Eve and put it in the, well, I don't put it in the fridge because there's no room. I put it in the shed outside. That's what happens.

Starting point is 00:27:31 Really? Yeah. You put, you leave a lasagna outside overnight. I tell you, that's one shit that's getting robbed. Breaking into a shit on Christmas evening just finding a veggie lasagna. That's a bad fucking section. I hear about Josh, you've got section. What's he doing? Keeps making lasagna and leave him in the shed the weird nutter. Well, what are you going to leave in the s-

Starting point is 00:27:56 There's not enough room in the fridge and the shed, he's basically refrigerated because it's so cold down there. That should be a sign from the universe that you thuuice thuice thuice thuice thuice thuice thuice thuice thi universe that you that you that you that you thi that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you to be to be to be to be to be a sign from the universe that you shouldn't be making it and eating it. I like the logic of it. I do really like this time of year being able to just leave alcohol outside in an evening. Yeah. Exactly. And then I crunch through the snow and go and get my vegetable lasagna on Christmas Day. God. I'll be honest, mate. I'd leave it out there. I would have all intentions that are going out and getting it and then I'd be like, fuck

Starting point is 00:28:31 that. You know what? You're the fox or poke his nose in, see the saudzania, jog on. Do you cover it up? Yeah, of course I cover it up. What with cling film or foil? Okay. Now,'m going to look out my back window in my garden at the shed and go, Josh has got lasagna in his one. What have you got in yours? A lawnmower or something?

Starting point is 00:28:58 I've got a triple in there. What's it? Sorry. Let me put you in a situation. Your fridge reaches capacity. Yeah, garage fridge. I've got a garage fridge. You've got a garage fridge. A garage fridge will change your life. Dreams really do come true, mate. That's a cold beer. Well, shed fridge.

Starting point is 00:29:19 You've got power in your fridge. The shed fridge will be the same temperature as the shed. What's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is is the the the the is the is the is the is the the thage will the same the same the same the same the same thage will the will the will be thread fridge will be the same the same thage will beage will beage will beage will be will be will beage will be will be will be will th will the same fridge will the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same same the same same same same same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same temperature as the shed. What's the point of having the fridge? Uh, summertime? Thank you, Jared. These seasons, mate. Fucking wake up, mate. Yeah. Um, Jared, I would talk to you about in February, after the Pantos all done, you've got, you're doing your show again. Yeah, um, for kids. The family show. I like, I like saying family show,, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the thanks, the the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the season, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the than, than, thanks, thanks, the thanks, the the thanks, the season, thanks, the season, the season, than, thanks, the season, show again. Yeah, for kids, for kids, the family show. I like, I like saying family show, because when you say kids show, parents automatically switch off they think, ah, fucking pepper pig, isn't it? Whereas I like to take more of the

Starting point is 00:29:56 approach of Ben and Holly. I think it's by the same voice, isn't it, but Ben and Hollins got a lot more. A lot more. Like, significant. Like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their family, their family, their family, their family, their family, their family's their family's their family's their their the same same, their, the same, the it for the parents. A lot more. Like significant, like Pepper Pig, she's a spoil fucking twat. I hate pepper. Daddy Pig is just put upon. Yeah. I mean, look, mummy pig's incredible. Uh, the real hero is Miss Rabbit. I've got a claim to pepper pig fame. Go on. Oh yeah. When we did ice skating me and Romish the ice skating instructor Her dad invented pepper pig Oh my god. Why is she bothering doing that job? I know minted well, well, I don't know How much how much is he worth to be right? Feel something is that he's really bringing home the bake Fill me pockets. Oh really good. Seriously, but she was a very nice well-adjusted person. She wasn't like you know people you meet that

Starting point is 00:30:51 Their family have done well and they could be but she was very nice and hard working. It's hard to be arrogant when you're like. Yeah, my dad invented pepper pig. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. compared to my dad's a hotel magnet. Or my mom's, you know, invented lingerie. Yeah. Invented it. She was face. She had a really sore ass and went, look, I need to do something about this. Your mom was Anne Summers. Do you know, my mom in the 1980s in Christchurch, New Zealand, when microwaves were first released,

Starting point is 00:31:30 she was one of the first microwave salespeople in New Zealand. Really? Yeah, she had to do a week-long course on microwaving shit. Seriously for like six months, all our meals were microwaved. Really? She had to test all these recipes. You know, and back then they were claiming you could r-claiming, you know, and back thin they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were the microwave, the microwave, their their microwa, when the microwave, when, when, when, when, when, when, when microwa, when their, we, all our meals were microwaved. Really? Because she had to test all these recipes, you know, and back then they were claiming you could roast a chicken in a fucking microwave. I was like, five or six. Because they changed everything.

Starting point is 00:31:57 Yeah. You're not trying to sell the sandwich toaster or something. The microwave is an easy sell. Yeah, my mom, my mom was at the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. The microwave is an easy cell. Sure. My mom was at the sharp end of that spear, mate. But wasn't there a lot of bad press that you got affected you? Because my mother-in-law still now, if I stopped the microwave before it's finished and just pulled the door, she's like, no, shut the door! The waves all get out! I was like, part what? I don't know what you're saying. But that was a thing people were scared of the microwaves, weren't they? Well, my mom instilled me a really full-on fare of putting metal in the microwave. Yeah, well, that's a good fare, right? I mean, yeah, I think it is, but I had a mate

Starting point is 00:32:38 when I was a teenager called Dylan, who I was over at his house and he just went, should we have baked beans for lunch? And I was like, yeah, cool. And he just took a can of baked beans. Oh my God. Straight in the microwave. And I, you know those moments in life where you go, no, and then it's too late. And have you ever seen a lightning storm within your house? No. Because that's what happens man, these lightning boats going into the can, mate, it's awesome.

Starting point is 00:33:06 Fuck it out. I mean, he ruined the microwave and that was it, but it was pretty awesome to watch. But at least your mom got another sale. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true. Let's talk about your kids. Let's talk about your kids. We can't do that. We can't make the same mistake twice. No, no, I want to talk about New Zealand as well. Can I talk about New Zealand? We also talked about your show. We'll talk about the show and we talk about

Starting point is 00:33:28 the kids related. Right there, yeah. The show is at the South Bank again and it's your beat box show with holiday. Yeah, the mighty kids beat the to' the to' tho' th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. tod toda. toda. toda. toda. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the show. the show. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. to. to. to. We're. to to to to to to to the show. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We's. We's. We's. We's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the tod the the tod the the the tod the tod the the the the the the the the the the th. the show. the show room this time, is that right? Yeah, we're in the big room now. Because we sold out two years in a row in the 350, the Elgar room or something. What kind of, what ages is it for? It's like four to, you know, nearly dead. It's, um, I mean, I shouldn't put that on the advertising. Don't come if your dad. No. It it it it it it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. thoo. thoooo. Because, tho. Because, tho. Because, tho thoooo. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. mean, I shouldn't put that on the advertising. No. It really is a family show. There's so much in it.

Starting point is 00:34:09 You know, obviously Hobbit is an incredible beat boxer. Um, we, you know, we jazz, you know, we do knock, nok jokes, but with beat boxing. You know, we just judge everything up. Yeah, and there's loads of audience interaction. One of the biggest things we do is we create, at the end, we create a song from sounds that we get from the audience, like getting kids to make the sound of a seagull going on a roller coaster. And then we record that sound and pop it into a loop. Amazing. And Hobbit just weaves it all together. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh to to record that sound and pop it into a loop station. Amazing.

Starting point is 00:34:45 And Hobbit just weaves it all together and creates a song to end on it. It's really, really good fun. And you're all, aren't you? I'm just decking around, right? He's bringing the talent, and I am just being like a lunatic ringmaster, interacting with kids. What's it like to play? Because I've watched enough episode of Justin's just justto think that looks absolutely unplayable? Yeah. Like, what's it like to play an audience of, I know there'll be parents that are primarily children?

Starting point is 00:35:16 Is it tough? Is it different? They, you learn pretty quick that they don't get self-deprecation, they just take shit at face value. So if you, excuse me, if you do that comedian thing that we all do every now and then, which, you know, you tell a joke and it gets nothing and you comment on that, well, that was a bit rubbish, you know, something like that, kids just go, oh, it was rubbish then. Do you know what I mean? They don't, they they they they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they they they they don't, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well,then. Oh, okay, it was rubbish. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. They just take it at face fairly.

Starting point is 00:35:46 I used to, um, it might stand up. Do you think that's why Mr. Tumble goes, oh, that was, you know, when he goes back to, is it, Justin, goes back to Mr. Tumble. And he goes, oh, that was that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was the. that was, that was that was, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. the. the. the. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that was. Yeah, that was. Yeah, that was. Yeah, that was. Yeah, that was. Yeah, that was. Yeah, that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. Yeah, that that was. Yeah, that was. Yeahty? You never met him on the Panto Circuit? I've met him a few times. He's lovely. Yeah, and he's incredible. He's an absolute legend. Where did you meet him? I threw. Well, I did a kid's show, a CBBC show called The Joke Machine. Yeah we got kids to tell me jokes. And I was like this alien from out of space, and I beamed kids into my UFO, and they told me a joke, and if I liked it, celebrated it, and if I didn't like it, I ejected them out of the spaceship,

Starting point is 00:36:41 or unleashed my... Like the end of Graham Norton? Yeah, but, you know, digitally affected firing a kid out of the spaceship or unleashed my... Like the end of Graham Norton. Yeah, but you know, digitally affected firing a kid out of a spaceship or releasing a dinosaur to crush them. And there were jokes that if the same jokes get coming up like, what are you called cheese? That's not yours. Nacho cheese. And whenever that one came up, it would cut to a clip of me, you know with Maracas and being culturally sensitive. Um, uh, different time. It was a different time. What was he? that's right. What was he?

Starting point is 00:37:21 What was he like? What's going on there? What's going on there? What's going on there? I know that's what I thought. I thought there's got to be a sinister side. But the guy is straight up, god damn likeable. The show, the mighty kids beatbox comedy show, yes, it's 15th for February 11 a.m. in half term. It's an hour long. And I think it's pretty good value. It's the it's 12 it's 12 it's 12 it's 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for 12 for adults for adults for adults for adults for adults for 12 for 12. It's their th for th for th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I'm. It's th. I'm. It's th. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. th it's an hour long and I think it's pretty good value it's 12 quid for adults 9 quid for kids and then you're up in the South Bank which is an amazing venue and then you're out and about in London for a bit of lunch straight after because that's quite a good time he's still a huge cell. 11 a m's a great time the kids are still fresh yeah they've had breakfast give them the sweet and their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I I I I I I I I I I I's. So. So. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's their. I's a their. their their their their their. I's their. their. their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's their their their their their their their t their t t t t t t t their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their t t time the kids are still fresh. Yeah, they've had breakfast, give them some sweet and then by the time they're losing their mind, straight into a bit of lunch then home. You don't want to be out late. No one's a 5 p.m. They're exhausted by then. And it's part of the Imagine Festival

Starting point is 00:38:14 that South Bank does. So there's loads of stuff going on. Oh brilliant. Definitely. Lots of tickets. Definitely. their. Lo. Definitely. Lo. Lo. Definitely. Lo. Lo. Definitely. Lo. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to to get. to get. to get. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots to get. Lots to get to get to get to get to get to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots. Lots of their. Lots of their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their to get. Lots of quickly and your kids? You can talk to me about whatever you want, mate. So I went to New Zealand, right, on tour, and you gave me good recommendation for dinner. I was expecting lots of Jared Christmases. Big fun. Wey! See, that's the New Zealand's like, they're not like you, are they're not like you? Is this why he left? Left, forced out mate. They're so repressed and quiet and nervous. Basically when I lift they said, mate, you've got too much enthusiasm.

Starting point is 00:38:54 Yes, yes! I thought I was going, man. It's the same reason we want to get rid of Rob. Yeah. But they are not really... And what's weird? Because Australian, Australians are so laid back and chilled and they, everything takes ages when they talk, but New Zealand they talk really quick even though there's no rush. There's nothing going on. No.

Starting point is 00:39:15 And also, did you find audiences would hold back quite a bit until the end? Yeah, they're a bit, a bit like quiet and in themselves just try and get them out of their shell. So even if someone come in late and I was like, oh hello where you've been and being polite, they would ignore me even if I was like a sentiment from their face they just look down and get to their scene. Yeah, mate some shit went down I just don't want to bloody talk about it. I'm here for you to cheer me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to their their their their to to to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tha. tha. tho. to to to tole. today. toldlde. tolde. tolde. toe. toe. toe. toe. thol Cross. Let's just do that, yeah? Oh, yeah, now. I'm gonna go see Rob Becker, eh? Did you have a lime milkshake? I didn't have a lime milkshake.

Starting point is 00:39:53 I went to the white lady place, the white lady burger, the shake in a thingy, but um, yeah, no, I just couldn't believe I was expecting a country full of people like you. Nah. And they're very quiet. Yeah. You're taking your kids back there, Jared? Yeah. Do they like it? Weirdly, as what popped into my head was a memory that Maggie, my oldest had her first ever donut in New Zealand. Wow.

Starting point is 00:40:17 She was like, oh my gosh, she must be in four. And we realized, oh oh we're awful parents, we've not given her a donut in her life. Like four's quite late to get a donut. You think, yeah, I don't know what my first donut was. I think it is. But I don't think you should be beat yourself up. It's not like you said she couldn't have one. She just never asked for one. Yeah, but I'm just not being able to let it go Rob. What's just be plugging me. So. So, so. So, that, that, that, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, to, that's, that's thou. to, four, four, four, thou. th. th. thou. th. thou. th. th. th. th. been able to let it go, Rob. It's just been plagging me. So with my youngest daughter, that's all she has as donuts.

Starting point is 00:40:48 You know how you correct your parenting mistakes with the second one, does it? Yeah. Yeah. They call shops, dairies. Yeah. They call like corner shops or little, just little shops near us are called dairy because that's where you can get your milk from. Corner dairy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the. And the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, the the their. So, the the. So, the. So, the. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. So, th. So, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. from. Cornadairy. Cornadairy. Yeah. And then... Would you ever go back? Yeah. What? For good? Are you trying to tell me something Josh? Can you leave for good? He just got a gig on GB News?

Starting point is 00:41:17 I got asked to go on that. Did you? Yeah, I said no. A good decision. Yeah, I think it was a strong decision. I was just like, I don't think it's my cup of tea mate. And that was when I realized, I've become a bit British. I don't know if I would move back there because, you know, I've been here 22 years now. And, you know, I'd have to uproot everything. I think, I think if disaster struck, if my wife finally realized, I have married a dickhead and was like,

Starting point is 00:41:58 I'm out, I'd then be like, I think I might need to retreat to New Zealand. To the home, home land. Yeah. That's an interesting decision. It's a fun game. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to to to to to to to to to th to th th th th th th th th th to tho, you thi, I'd thi, you to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have th th th th th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th th th th th th th th that that that that that, that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that, that, that that, that, that, that, need to retreat to New Zealand. Would you? Homeland. Yeah. That's an interesting decision. It's a fun game, isn't it? What would you do if you got divorced? Yeah, what would I do? Welcome to Parenting Howe.

Starting point is 00:42:13 That could be our final question. Our new final question. Obviously it's going well at the moment. But what would you do if you do if you got divorced? Well, have you have you gone to the doctors and spoken to them about getting a vasectomy? No, I haven't done that. Mate, they ask you weird shit like that. You go in and they go, I've not had the vasectomy yet. I was full on prepping. Not not certain about your marriage then.

Starting point is 00:42:39 I was full on prepping to get it and then, then COVID. But I went into the doctors and said, to to to to to to to to to to to the doctor, to the doctor, to the doctor, to to the doctor I went into the doctors and said can I book in for a vasectomy? Can I ask quickly what prompted you to do like because I'm genuinely I what was the decision was that yours was it both of you? Joint decision? Yeah. He brought it out and also I'm big raw dog fan. How did it come? How did it come? You know the know, I'm bare-back Billy. No, it was kind of a joint decision. Yeah. You know, it was up first, you remember?

Starting point is 00:43:13 It was me. Yeah. Yeah. So you, have you had it done or you got? No, I haven't had it done, and now we're kind of going. Doesn't have a kid. Yeah. Do they hear it? No, God no, no way.

Starting point is 00:43:29 So what's it taught me through the doctor's appointment? So I didn't even get to the doctor that, so I went to see the doctor about something else. If you want to know a rash on the top of my feet. What was it? What was it? the the the the thia? thia? thia? thia? thia? thia? thia? thoom. I I tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that that I tho. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to have. to have. too. to have. too. too? too? too. too. too? too? too. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's? It's. It's. It's. It's to. It's a the. It's a too. It's a too. It's. It's a tote. tote. too. It's. too. It's. It's. It's a too. It's. It's a to I've now got a topical sort of hydrochoracin cream that I put on there. It's a recurring thing when my feet get really hot. Can I ask a question? Do you put it on and rub it in with your hands or do you use the bottom of your feet? The bottom of the other trip? I thought you were going to ask if I use my willy. No, no, no. Yeah. And then I said, hey, can I book into for a vasectomy. And he said, yes, but you need to do a consultation appointment first.

Starting point is 00:44:12 And your wife has to come along to that. And I was like, why? I mean, she's not going to do it. How do you know? I'm not single. Well, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to, that's true. I mean I he did have my file there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And he had asked me really personal questions. Do you find sometimes the doctors when you go for something they write that letter and go. Jericho Christmas is a 41 year old comedian and they put like little extra information.

Starting point is 00:44:40 Have you ever read that? No. What you mean? What are they writing to? Most of the time the doctors, one for me is Jerry Christmas, thinks he's a comedian. That hurts. He's a straight man for a beat boxer. Right, sorry. So he said, you've got to come in for it as well. And I said, why? And they said, because we need to make sure that you're both agree with this decision.

Starting point is 00:45:09 Okay. And that you're mentally stable and you will be asked questions about like, because he said, for instance, what happens if you split up? And then you meet someone else and you want to have a family with them. And I was like, hang on. I came they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the want to have a family with them. And I was like, hang on. I came in for itchy feet and now I'm imagining. Yeah, but you don't want that conversation sat next to your wife. No, that's proper lot. That should be like one-on-one with a doctor going, well, yeah. Yeah, look, Doc, we might splut, but I don't want any more kids. So it's fine. mate I'm still popping out live swimmers. Jared the danger here is though you get a little bit overconfident, a little bit cocky, before you know it you've got another kid at the age of 48. I know and then that's the danger here isn't it if you get like a fluke of pregnancy.

Starting point is 00:45:58 Yeah. One thing Josh really wants to ask and I want to know as well, what's it like being called Christmas at Christmas? Yeah. Okay so I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thito know as well, what's it like being called Christmas at Christmas? Yeah. Okay, so I mean let's do it. I don't know if you want to deep dive. Yeah, let's deep dive. I do want a deep dive, yeah. So obviously, obviously got shed at school. Yeah. I went to a all boys secondary school for a while until I left. And genuinely a kid joined my class called Richard Puller, Dick Puller. And mate, he started taking all the heat and I loved that guy. He took a lot of heat away from me. Dick Puller. Yeah, Dick Puller turns up.

Starting point is 00:46:44 Deck Puller turns up. Heats off me for a bit. But there were, I remember as a kid, there were, I think, six other Christmases in the phone book. And I know that because I prank called them. Right. Because we were getting prank phone calls. Were you? Yeah. I mean, come on. It's in the early 90s. What kind of pranks was it? Hi, is Santa there there? there. their? their. their? their? the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the their. their. their. their. But, but their. But, but their. But, but their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. But, their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's the the th. He's the the the the the the the their their the early 90s. What kind of pranks was it? Hi, is Santa there? Oh, fucking out. And give it another minute before you get all the number. Have a thing. Mate, my dad gave me the best comeback for it. He said, look, if anybody rings up and asked for Santa,

Starting point is 00:47:15 you just say to them, man. Shut them right down. Answered it seriously. Yeah. And by the way, my dad is the same bloke who, when we were in a restaurant one time as kids with my mom and dad and we were getting really bad service. And my dad just straight faced it, called the waiter over and see, can I speak to Kermit. And the waiter said, Kermit, Kermit doesn't work here, and my dad said, well who's running this Muppet show? Oh, mate, Hero, what a moment.

Starting point is 00:47:52 Is your dad's first name? Chris? Chris? No, no. Yeah. No. No. He's not Chris Christmas. He's not. 100% is where it's Christmas.

Starting point is 00:48:05 Oh my God. Stop. I do stand up about it because my whole family's riddled with ridiculous name. There's no way it is. Even my name is about J.A.R.R.E.D. That's jarred. And my dad's Chris Christmas. Unless you want the tongue twister, which is Christopher Christmas. Unless you want the tongue twister which is Christopher Christmas. Holly Christian. Do you know the best one? This is the best one. Okay these are a couple of good ones. My auntie. My auntie who married my dad's brother. Her name is Carol Christmas so backwards. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yes please. My auntie. My auntie, uh, who married my dad's brother. Uh, her name is Carol Christmas, so backwards. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:47 Oh yes, please. But at least she's married into it. Your dad's parents have made the decision consciously. Yeah, they just went for it. Considering his brother's called Raymond, Raymond Christmas. That's a great name isn't that? Ray Christmas. So backwards it's Christmas Ray. That sounds like something joyful to get shot by a visiting alien. He's with the Christmas Ray. And so your daughter's Christmas is? Yeah, of course there. So how's that going in the UK? Well, I thought you might have taken your wife to spare them. I did not. I did not put any demands on my wife to take my surname. What's your wife's, oh so did she take your name?

Starting point is 00:49:28 She did, yeah. She wanted to. What's her name? Webb, with two bees. And I was, look, I was bang up for all of it. I was up for her not taking the name, because I was like, I know the burden I've had. Yes. I know the burden I've thi th th th thu thu thu thu thu thu thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi the thi the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened the burdened thi thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the burden I the burden I the burdened the burdened the does that make Christmas a bigger thing in your house? No. No.

Starting point is 00:49:48 What does that mean? I don't think if I was called Christmas, I'd feel I'd need to give it an extra 10%. This is my thing. Maybe, maybe. Maybe. I mean, I don't think that's how it works. Like, I don't think anybody with the surname Fisher is just like, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to you you you to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, that. that. that. that. that. that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's, that's, that's, thi. that's, that's, thi. know to think anybody with the surname Fisher is just like, oh, we better get into fishing. When you're doing Panto at Christmas time, you trade out a term name.

Starting point is 00:50:13 I hope they booked me because they like what I do. No, no, no, I mean, it didn't mean you get booked for that. I mean, do you on stage go, I've got a couple of gags. No, because I'm playing buttons Christmas, you could be. Oh, wow. That wouldn't make sense. I'm so tired. So people be in the pento going, I can't deal with this. Is it real? Is it fake? Is he playing a character? What's going on here?

Starting point is 00:50:43 And how are your kids getting them with the surname Christmas? Do they get stuff at school? Or is it? I don't think they do, you know, it's a different generation now. I've heard, I've just heard a lot of kids telling my daughters that they really like their surname. And that's the big change is that I'm hardened from the 90s of taking bullets, man. And so I, like checking into hotels at Christmas time,

Starting point is 00:51:11 hi, I've got a booking for Christmas, oh you're a bit early. You know, and I used to hate it. I used to get, I used to just, I used to just, I used to just bloody give them Stonehenge face. You change it to Easter for the spring. Yeah, I'm adaptable. And I change it to Pancake Day. But it was actually my wife Amelia said, why don't you just go with it? Because no one's saying it maliciously.

Starting point is 00:51:38 They're just saying it because it's a really interesting name. And she said, they smile when they read do you know what I mean so I made a conscious decision about five years ago I'm gonna lean into this shit yeah if my wife is right and I'll be as I didn't think she was I thought no but then I rock up to a hotel oh Christmas this is a lovely surname I'm like oh thank you and then she said I shouldn't say this but as your mom they to the mom name Mary and I to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. that's that's their they. that's tr they. I they. I their they. I their they. And then she said, I shouldn't say this, but as your mom named Mary, and I went, oh, that's good. Oh, can you, and I just went, can you imagine if it was?

Starting point is 00:52:11 And she's just laughing. And suddenly, I'm having a great positive interaction with them. There was one hotel I was checking into and the guy said, they say there's no there's there's there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no room at the end. No because that's that's that's comedian level. Yeah, banter. And also as we all know the premier in in Bethlehem has got a thousand rooms. It does. It's the biggest one. It's where Lenny Henry did the advert. Yeah. I did get a good one that I, where the guy said, have you, do you need car parking? and you say I'll be honest. you. th. th. You. You. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I ththat I where the guy said have you do you need car parking and say I'll be honest you can probably just put the sleigh on the roof and oh that is strong that is good yeah I thought that's strong it's a bit

Starting point is 00:52:56 it's it's quite being called Christmas is like oh people are excited about that and they'll go home go there's a guy called Christmas where if you're dick puller you're being laughed out yeah yeah yeah you can't you can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can they the the they they they they they they can't they can't they can't the they can't the they're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th that and they'll go home and go, there's a guy called Christmas where if you're Dick Puller, you're being laughed at. Yeah, you can't lead into Dick Puller. People are excited to meet you, people are excited to take the piss out of Dick Puller. Yeah. He must have changed his name. Surely go rich. All he's one of those people now who was like, my name is Richard. Yeah, yeah, one of them. Yeah, here we go. Yeah. Bit of trauma coming through. At the birth of your first child, yeah. How quickly until someone said

Starting point is 00:53:35 father Christmas to you? Oh, straight away the midwife. Straightaway. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, my daughter's head was barely out of being inside my wife. Father Christmas. Yeah. Another one was, she said, oh, it was with my youngest, who was born in February. She said, it's only February and you've got your very own Christmas present. Oh, that was a bit weaker though, isn't it? That would annoyed me. That was totallythough, isn't it? That would annoy me.

Starting point is 00:54:05 That would annoy me. But I was totally emotional. I've been away, you know, I've been with my wife every minute while she was going through labor. She was rocky bellowering it all the way through. And you've got a great beard. Thank you. Currently, and I'm not saying it won't be for a good while while. to to be for to be to be to be. to be to be. to be. to be to be. to be to be. to be. to be. to be a to be a to be a to be a to be. to be a to be. to be a to be a to be. to be a to be. that. that. that. that. to. that. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. That. That. That. That. to. to. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That's. It. That's. It's a great. It's a great. It's a great. It's a great. It's. It's. It's a great. It's. It's a great. It's a great. It's. It's a great. It's. It's a great. It's. That, and I'm not saying it won't be for a good while yet, it is jet black, straight brown. He's suggesting something, Josh. Well, when it goes, when it loses its

Starting point is 00:54:35 color, and you've got a big white beard, and you're called Christmas. Yeah. Are you going to lean into it at that point? Oh, mate, Christmas time, I'm'm going to ride on the back of trucks and a red jumper with a Coca-Cola. That's how much I'm going to lean into it. Yeah, because of that one, because if you grow the air in the bed, that is. A maid of mine, uh, a while back said to me that his son, who was at that time maybe five years old at Christmas time they were talking about Father Christmas and he said is your mate Jared gonna come around to give us presents and the disappointment in his voice my mate going it would have been the worst thing ever he said I was hoping that you just knock

Starting point is 00:55:18 on the door at that point and my son would just be like ugh Christmas sucks so yeah yeah I'm you know you have to lean it yeah if it yeah if it's it's it's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi my son would just be like, ugh, Christmas sucks. Oh. So yeah, yeah, I'm, you know, after lean it, yeah. If it's positive, you can pick up the vibe. If someone's being a dick-id, then you just shut them down, right? I'm gonna say, I didn't expect we get as much out of Christmas as we did. Mate, if someone's being a dickhead. That wasn't me and Rob talking after the interview. We thought we were going to get five minutes and that was it.

Starting point is 00:55:48 Oh, we've done that. We've done our time and I still don't think they spoke about your kids properly, Jared. We'll have to get you with my first time. We never do. There's too many distractions. Happy Christmas. Happy Christmas? Good da. We won't hold you up anymore because you've got a day off now with your wife and kids. It doesn't matter. I'm in the toilet, mate. I usually spend this amount of time in the toilet. Do you guys do that?

Starting point is 00:56:11 Do you take devices into the bathroom? Oh yeah, I struggled to sit on the toilet. Yeah, weird, isn't it's, because, because, because, because, because You know, yeah, book when people have a book next to the toilet. I used to always think, who the fuck is reading on the toilet? Oh, I love to read. And now I'm the guy sitting there scrolling through. I scroll. I used a little footstool that the kids have to get off and off the toilet as my little poo poo angler. Because you've got you should have your your bum, shouldn't you? So I've been doing that, that's quite, I like that, and it flies out of me. What are you doing on your day off for the kids tomorrow? Well they're at school, last day of school. Oh, yeah. But then I've got Saturday, Friday night and then I'll leave at about nine o'clock Saturday mornings. Lovely, you know, I've loads time off in Jan. And then February the 15th. 11. 11 11 11 11. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. Yeah. Yeah.m. South Bank Center South Bank sent ticket you love it

Starting point is 00:57:06 tickets Jarred thank you so much covered on mate thank you I really appreciate it guys that's brilliant thanks my good luck with the show thanks team cheers my Jared Christmas there there's Jared and we better go because it's 930 p.m. on the Thursday the 15th of December and this episode's got to go out on Friday the 16th and 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 th and to to to to to th and to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to get to to to to to get to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. the. the. the the to the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. on the Thursday the 15th of December and this episode's got to go out on Friday the 16th for December and Michael's got to edit it. Good luck Michael. Oh God. Oh Michael. Love Jared. Go and see his show it's absolutely brilliant.

Starting point is 00:57:34 Great tip for half-term in London and in Leicester. Josh I'll speak to you soon. Yeah, bye.

Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP42: Jarred Christmas (The Return)

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