Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP45: Let the Christmas (Alarm) bells ring...

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

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Must be Legal Drinking Age. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hill with... Dylan, can you say Rob Beckett? What's the bucket? Oh, and can you say Josh Whitakum? Oh, tho' come? Josh Whiticum. Yeah! Yeah.

There we go. Hi, Rob and Josh, this is my son Dylan. Twenty months old. He's a little parrot at the moment's I want... Twenty months. That's basically where I am, I think. He's a little parrot at the moment, so I wondered how he'd do saying your names. What do you think Rob? Oh you didn't say our names. I mean it was cute, she seemed to be into it, but from a point of view of introducing the show, if you're a new listener who the fucks presenting this? No, don't have a go at him, it's Christmas, but I understand

he's cute. Hands up. I'll let Dylan is a cute baby, the mum's loving it. However, we're trying to get a show on the road here and people listening need to know the fucks presenting it. This is we're now we're now with a major you know we're competing with Joe Rogan here Rob exactly we've got to do something and Jack mate exactly Sorry about coughing. I've got the worst cough so if a joke is more than six or seven out of ten funny. I'm going to get into a coughing situation I'll will tell you what, don't watch Wallop. You'll be back in A&E before you know it. Have you got a stand-up show out on Sky? Yeah, funny you should say that, actually. Yeah, my tour Walla has been on Sky on Boxing Day, and it's still available on tomorrow, mate.

It's quite interesting that. I accidentally clicked on social media once at Christmas and saw 48 mentions of it. But actually it got into a good, because I was like, I don't not just plug it for the sake of it, so I started slacking off people's front rooms where they were tagging me watching it, that was quite good fun. That's good. Anyway, sorry. Originally from England, my husband, Michael and I moved to Vancouver, Canada about four years ago, and now have our much-loved maple syrup baby Dylan I love listening to the podcast to keep in touch with my British sense of

humor it's lifted my spirits on many occasions so thanks for everything you do also just started listening to the audio book and the book and really enjoying it so far all the best she has I've added the intonation there all the best so far so far Ella Michael and Oh, I've been reading a book over Christmas, Rob. What you be reading? Well, I got for Christmas. Tell you what, you think our life's tough. Matthew Perry's had it hard. Fuck here now, mate. Anyway, oh my God. Have he got kids? Mathy Perry hasn't got kids and, but he's got, I'd say, let's get everything else. An interesting relationship with his parents. Oh, what happened in it then?

What's the main crux? I know he was a drug addict and he went up and down in way, he's not in a good place. He's not in a good place. What happened with his parents then? Can you say or is it a bit too bleak for the, what, what is the Christmas and year? Right? His the dad the dad the dad? He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he their that? He he that? He that? He that? that? that? that? that? that? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that? that? that is that is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th? What? What? What? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the? the? to to to to to to to toeeea? toea? toea? toea? toea? toea? toea? the, but he was back in the middle of the afternoon. All right? Lovely stuff.

Yeah, I'd say you what, if I'd be coughing now. That was, I'd say 8.3. I don't know, his dad left when he was one, moved to LA. His mum was kind of spin-do. Pierre Trudeau, the Canadian president who's the father of the current one, what's he called Justin Trudeau? Yeah. So he never really got any attention for his parents. And then he moved to Hollywood to become an actor.

But currently he's drinking a lot of vodka. But he's not in France yet. Still? No, no's... Well, it's Christmas, let him off. It starts when his colon explodes. That's the first scene of the book. Fuck! How did you explode a colon? And he says he spent something like 7 million pounds on...

He's been in rehab like 25 times, something insane. It is. It's up there with Lily Allen and André, if you want to read a celebrity. Really? Anyway, that anyway that's not why I'm here right how was Christmas of your lovely children I'm so ill can you hear it I'm I'm a bit rough as well do I sound a sexy Matthew Perry's dad who was in the old spy subverts hang on hold on hello there's a hello Rob has Rob quit the podcast

fuck was that once again you don't get this I'm trying or jack mate to jay that j-oh tho- the the the the the the the the the th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho. th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the tre. try. true the the. the. this on... You don't get this on trying to go or Jack, mate. Jesus! Christ, Josh, did you hear that? No! Fuck me! I thought you just left. I thought you just quit the podcast because of my boring Matthew Perry anecdote. No, I love the alarm.

That alarm, that alarm, that's, the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I don't know. I don't know. It's, I see the alarm, house alarm. But you're outside, right? In the shed? Yeah, but in the shed at the end of the garden. I've got a little alarm on that as well. You can extend it out. You've broken into? I'm in it.

Fucking hell. Fucking hell sorry about this guys is still going on? It's never done this before? Oh no he's got an orange lights come on again. Josh this is horrible. So why? So what you've got your burglary alarm on your shit? Fugger? Fucking out! Has it gone off again? Oh God this is terrible? This is terrible? Fuck you! This is bad? this is this is this is th? th? th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thtick thtick thtick tho thi thi thi thi tho- F tho- tho- thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thing thing th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to thi to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi God, this is terrible. Fuck you! This is bad, I'm sorry Michael. It says alarm silence now.

Rob, go on. Me and Michael can't hear it because of the way Zoom works. No you can't. You can't hear it. We can barely hear it because of the way Zoom works. But because it's the audio and you're doing it. You'll love it. But because it's for what he's done local recording, you will be... You need an on there, boy. Oh, yeah, you're... Oh, yeah, you're loving it.

Okay, right. So what happened? I think we're good. I... Oh, kill me. You're joking. This is... Oh, but I'm trusting that this is really funny podcasting because I can't hear anything. I feel like I'm podcasting in a cave.

It's actually just a new bit that Rob's trying out. He's... Man versus alarm? Right, fuck me. I'd a howl of there, Josh. So tell me about it. Well, it just kept on going off. I think basically there's some battery problem that battery needs replacing. Oh, yeah.

Sure, have you got a burglar alarm on your shed? Yes, because I've got computer in there, haven't I? But now, basically, what I did was, I just turned it off at the plug? And it went mental, obviously. Because if you were a burglar alarm, sort wouldn't it? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not going to disable the burger alarm. And so then what happened? It went bananas. It went worse. Yeah, so so yeah, so now it just says active fault. So I think I've, it just says faults, so I think it knows it needs to be looked at kind of thing. Right, right, right. So yeah. Oh, that's good to know. That was a Christmas treat. That. That. That. That was a can't wait to get the recording of that so we can hear what it

sounded like. Because to me and him, Michael thought you were just doing a bit. I can't goffi now. No, basically it, my head, I feel like I've been in Matthew Perry's brain. It's cool. Over 8.5 was it, that little joke? Oh my god. So, I think I can th, I can th, I can th, I can can can th. I can can th. I can th. I can can th. I can can th. I can th. I can can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. th. th. to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear. to hear. to to to to to to to hear. to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that th. th. that th. that the the th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. to me to me to me to to to to to to to to to th friends. It's cool, over 8.5 was it, that little joke? Oh my god. So I think I'm all good now, I think I'm all good. I think it's just, I've sorted it so we're all right. I've done two COVID tests this Christmas, Rob. Yeah? You got it? No. But you know negative you're like everyone's been ill at Christmas, like everyone's had a cough or a cold and like I was getting a little bit,

all my mates were going I'm ill actually I can't come out I can't meet up for a coffee blah blah blah blah and I was doing that thing I don't know self-employed thinne the time going funny that thi to find out you know thin' that you thin't that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the they all all all all all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all they all thoo' tho' that's that's that's that's that's that's tho bit. You're like, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, you have a little day off, I paid sick day, fair enough, yeah, yeah, you don't really get you anymore now I'm self-in-blown, but I'm I think I'm just run down, it's tiring Christmas in it. Fuck me, sideways. I passed out the night Christmas Eve on the sofa at like nine o'clock and did you? And yeah and you know, alcohol related? No, just tired in tired in tired in tired tired, tired, tired, I I, tired, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th.. I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I'm, I'm th. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,, alcohol related? No, just tired in this and then I was supposed to be, because Father Christmas brought my children a Barbie Dreamhouse. Yeah, I saw Lou built it on her Instagram. Well, no, she didn't build it, did she?

Father Christmas brought it, Josh. But I... So what's Lou doing on her Instagram? Yeah, she is building it, yes, she is building a Barbie Dream house that I was supposed to build. So Father Christmas brought it unbuilt. Yes, exactly. So we had to quickly, well, Lou did it, she did everything. to be fair, I've normally do it. I've done like a little, we had to thrown like a sort of Wendy-house, well, the doll's house, a dels house thing before that I built, and that was hard-and to th........ th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-I-and-and-and-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. th-s. theree-s. theree-s. thereease-s. thi-s. She's-s. She's-s. She's-s. She's-s. She's-s. She's-s. She's-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-wooer-woer-wo'-woasease-woase-shauua-sa-shauase-sa-sa-siea-s. thereease-s. She's-s. She's-s.le's house thing before that I built and that was hard work. But she did it in about an hour, I think, she actually smashed it. Big up for that. I was just, yeah, Father Christmas hasn't got an hour on his hands on Christmas Eve. No, it's a dream house.

Send an Elf in. I tell you what's a great Christmas. I think I my Christmas? I mean if you don't, we're struggling today. Oh, God. I've just talked about my plans for Easter. Um, so 23rd, yeah. I've just written down some headlines here. The 23rd, we made a mistake. Okay. Rose said this about six times this Christmas. that we're just just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho thoe thoe. tho tho tho tho tho tho' I'll thi. tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I th. I th. th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. I's to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th. I roses said this about six times this Christmas, that we're just learning every year and we'll do it better next year. Yeah, go on.

So a mistake this year was because we were both so busy in December, we just left everything too late. Because we basically had that wedding the weekend before which we were quite heavily involved in. Because you only had a day off the 22nd, which is 22nd your first day off? The 22nd was my first day off, Rob. Yes. My first chance to do Christmas shopping was the morning of the 23rd and that was also my last chance to do Christmas shopping. Yep. Okay, sure. So that was interesting, we should say. So do the DVLA have an outlet at Oxford to get the provision? They don't. Everyone knows that the DVV. Dv. Dv. Dv. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. the the the the the the the the the the their their their th. their th. their thi. thi. S. their thi. S. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tri. tri. tri. tris. tris. tris. tris. tris. tris. tris. tris. tris. tris. their their to get the provision. They don't. No, they're based in Swansea. Everyone knows that the DVI is based in Swansea. Yeah, you just write a Swansea, DVLA and it gets it. Exactly. No, it's exactly. No, and exactly. It's like Father Christmas. And

they knew it was coming anyway, they just sent one out. No. So, Christmas Eve, Christmas the 23rd. Two main memories was my son has th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the the th. the the the thi. the the the thi. the the the Christmas the 23rd, two main memories was my son has taken to shitting in the bath. Lovely, okay, every time? I'd say more than half the time at the moment. Oh my goodness, it's like Gazler at Tottenham. Yeah I don't know what to do. There's nothing you can do about it. You just got to ride it out. Your son's shit's in the bath. Because it's not a problem really. Can I give you a tip if your son shit's in the bath, or daughter? Yeah, old daughter? Yeah, don't make the mistake I made last night, right? You've got to go early on fishing it out. Last night? How is that a tip? How is that not just your immediate fault? Well because last night I didn't realize. That's fine. I'll let you do that. Yeah. Yeah's most difficult to get when it's in the plug hole. Oh my god it's a bit a case where you it wasn't because you didn't realize you just thought I'll deal with that later and let it bob. Let's not go into that but yeah so you

we don't need to understand why it was in bob? No, I didn't let it bob. I it was it was on the bottom of the bath as the water was coming out and I thought I'll just let the water go because it'll be easier to fish it out. Oh, no, gosh. No, because then every time you run the bath there's gonna stink of shit. It's not gonna stink of shit. It will stick it will stick on the pipe. It the the the the water. It the water. It will. It will. It will. It will. It the water. It will. It will. It will. It the water. It the water. It will. It will. It will. It the water. It will. It will stick the water. It will stick the water. It will. It will. It's the water. It's the water. It's the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water. It's the water. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It's the water. It's the water. It's the water. the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water. It's the water. the water the plug hole? I know I got it out the plug hole Rob. Oh okay you got it out of the plug out. How solid is it? Well not as solid as I'd hope so you know yeah this is awful. Yeah anyway same night 23rd the cat pissed on the work surface in the kitchen. Oh no was there stuff on there? Yeah RP panatoly. Oh no that oh that'll soak it up though if anything that was probably the best thing it could it could the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the the the the th. the th. the the the th. th. the the the th. But. th. But. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. th. Well. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. the the there? Yeah. R.O.P. Panatode. Oh, that will soak it up though. If anything, that was probably the best thing it could have pissed him. Yeah, do you know what? And also, at the bottom of Rose's advent calendar, we had to cut off the bottom ten doors. Because it was covered in Pierce. Yeah, because it was covered in Pierce. Twenty-third, I'm putting that straight in the bin the bin the bin the bin the bin th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thea. th. th. thea. thea' that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thereea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea in the bin Josh. Well the thing is Rob I tell you what Advent calendar I got her. Go on. I got a one for the local coffee shop where

it's like a free coffee or a free pastry each day and stuff like that and so you leave the doors on the Advent calendar you can use them when you want to use them to the end of January. Right oh there was a pissy pastry that's a shame. I'm sure if you explain the situation, they'd give her a pastry. Well, I'd think I'd rather pay for my own pastry than walk in and try and explain that situation. I'm accused of fraud. So that was a bad start to the 23rd. Yeah. Twenty-fourth, fucking disaster. Why? One of my presents turned up, Rob. Yeah. I'm glad you said it's stressing me out on that, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, to. to. to. that, Rob, Rob, Rob, that, that's that's that's to. that's that's that's to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. that's a th. thi. thi. the the the thi. the the thea. the thea. the thea. that's thea. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's me out on the 24th. On the 24th, right?

And it was, as he handed it over to Rose, I was out, it was vibrating like, like a vibrator. Okay, yeah, thanks for joining the dots. Yeah. You put your daughter a vibrator? Off Amazon, right? It looked like I'd bought a vibrator from Amazon. Do you know what it was? Operation. Operate at Cold Seals operation. But it looked like I'd bought a vibrator, Rob.

What did the Amazon guy say? Well, I was not. Rose picked up, thank God. Enjoy. You can have a great Christmas. I just couldn't get anything done on the 24th, Rob. Two kids in the house. Sout, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to too, to th, th, th. th. th. to to to to to toop, toop, toop, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Of th. Of th. Of, th. Of, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, th. Of. Of. Of thi. Of thi. Of thi. Of tho. Of tho. Of the the tho. Of, tho. Of, the the too. Ofe. Of, too. Of, too. Of thoomoomo. Ofe kids in the house, stuff to do. It was a disaster. Christmas Eve was an absolute disaster. So what did you do? You just was in the house with them? Well no, I had to take my, I took both of them out because then Rose and her mom could get on with food prep and wrapping. Yeah. But I... My daughter had the worst Christmas Eve ever, because she was so excited about it. But what did you take her? Trying to get stuff done. Where do you think I fucking took it on?

Victoria Park? The park? Why not? Nice festive special treat to the fucking park again. Well, I only needed 90 minutes. I'm not going to get in the car, nothing's open on Christmas Eve. Where am I going? The two is open. What? th. What? th. What? th. What? th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th is th is th. What's th is th is th is th is th is th is th is so th is so th is so tho? tho tho tho? What's th. thi thi thi thi? thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the th. the th. thi thi thi? thi. I thi. I to to to to thi. I to to to to to theeat thiiiiiiiii. I thea? thi. I thi. I thi thi thi. I'm not going to get in the car nothing's open on Christmas Eve. Where am I going? The two kids. Loads is open. What? Loads is open? What? I'm not going to go to fucking Westfield, Rob on Christmas Eve.

I did. I was asking the kids to the cinema, see Muppets, Christmas Carol. Yeah, Rob, one of your kids isn't 18 months old. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. Lo. What. What. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. Lo. Lo. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to th. to to the the the the the the the the the the the the thoananan would have been a band, that would have been awful. Put yourself in my shoes. I'm gonna go to the cinema with an 18 month old to watch Muppets Christmas Carol and ruin it for everyone. Did I, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't realize when we got in. The one I took to Muppets Christmas carol? Is it? And do you know what? The problem with the dog friendly screening isn't the dogs. It's dog owners. Yeah. They love the dog. It's too. It didn't smell. It didn't smell. Dogs don't really smell too honest.

Apart from like if they've come back from a walk. If you're taking a dog to give it a brush up but I find it's a little bit like... So how many dogs are in the cinema? I'm saying 10 dogs. There was 10 dogs in there. They're all that already well behaved but it's a bit like one of the... Did you take your dog? No, fuck it was dog friendly? Well I did know. Did you the dogs like bark at each other? No they're all quite chilled and they're to be fair it to be fair it gets the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they're all all all they're all all they're all they're all they're all they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're all all all all all all all all all all all all they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their too ttoo tttoo tttte. te. te. te. te. they're all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all they're they're they're they bit quieter. Oh what? They turned the sound down for the dogs. But I had seats right towards the end, so I had to make three people and three dogs stand up to get to the end where we were sat. What do you mean you have to make the... Just step over the fucking dog? You can't step what in the fucking dog. to step what the dog to stand up and shimmy back like it's a person at the cinema. Sorry Fido, get back a bit. No, come on. It was quite funny though when there was

like a yelp in the, a dog yelped in the film and then all the other dogs went, oh, oh god. Oh god. That was quite cute. And then all the dog owner was like, oh my girl! I'm like, some people love their dogs too much, I think, yeah, of course they do Rob. I think you could be accused of many things, but I don't think you could ever be accused of loving your dog too much. No, that dog gets the right amount of love out of me, I think. Otherwise it starts taking the piss. Tough love, up for himself. The cat as well jumped over a little fence on top of the dog and the dog didn't know what was going on. So it was like... It kind of rode the dog rode you. And the dog went, Minder, sort of just spinning around trying to get a cat but he couldn't get the cat because he's like UFC. I've got a little jumper and he to the dog and the cat? I didn't, looted. Oh no. You got a little jumper and a toy and a woolly app. Anyway, sorry, so what did you do?

You went to the park Christmas Eve and didn't she enjoy the Christmas Eve? I just went, no, that was fine. But then you're just, you're basically, we fucked it up Christmas Eve. That's, that's, because we were so behind, th. That's that, th. That's to the to to the to to their. That's, to be. to be, to be, their. to be, to be, their. their. to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, their, to to to to to to to to to their. to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. A,, that's, because we were so behind because of our December. Yeah. We had too much to do on Christmas. My daughter was really excited about Christmas, but we couldn't give her any attention. Yeah, yeah, so she, yeah, I get it. So, yeah, I get it.

We were going, do you want to watch Stickman for the eighth time? Because we've got to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the stuff the stuff to do the stuff the stuff to do the stuff the stuff the eighth time because we've got to do the stuffing or whatever. Do you know what I mean? It was an absolute, it was our fault. Did she eat any of the Christmas food? On Christmas Day? Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine with the food on Christmas day. I don't. She eats, what she'll have like, roast turkey? Well, obviously you know what I have Rob. I took a photo for you. I thought I'd send it to you. Oh yeah, lovely, pretty spleys. It looks a bit like a cauliflower cheese, to be honest. It looks good, doesn't it wrong? You got stuffing though? I've got stuffing, I've got sprucks, I've got sprucks, I've got sprucks.

I've got some of it. I'll be honest. about that. Well they look shit I'm sorry. But they just look they look tasteless. No offense. Well do you know what? We are big sprout people throughout the year. Oh yeah and then yeah we do a lovely roasted sprouts with capers and troflifl oil. Lovely Rob. And then Christmas Day we just boil up the fucking sprouts. Yeah why'd you do that? I don't know Rob. Yeah I don't think you black it feels like it was it was it was a a a a a the the the the the th. It was a bit it was a bit th. It was a bit th. It was a bit th. It was a bit th. It was a bit th. It was a bit th. It was a bit th. It was a bit th. It was a bit th. It was a bit th. It's a bit th. It's a bit. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're big. We're big. We're big. We're big. We're big. It's a big. We're big. We're big. We're big. We're big. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the big. We're big. We're big.that? I don't know Rob. Yeah, I don't think you blaze. It feels like it was a bit of a kick-bollock scramble your Christmas. Oh, mate Rob, it really wasn't a truly. So you come back from Christmas Eve, you come back from the park. Yeah. What times is? Oh, I don't know lunchtime. That's good. Oh, he's still on a nap big time. He's still on a nap big time. Thank God it is the only time I get to wrap presents

or do any Christmas prep. And so, the whole day is just, I just started tiding, Rob, I just couldn't stop. I just couldn't stop. I just couldn't stop for some kind of desperation for control. Does Lou ever start tidying as a desperation for control? Yes, I think she does that a bit more than me. I'll give the dishwasher once over and their phrase the question. Does Lou ever start to hiding as a desperation for

control? Yes, I think she does that a bit more than me. I'll give the dishwasher once over and I'd wipe the sides. Fuck me, I've loaded the dishwasher so many times in the last 48 hours. Oh my god, I've spent more time the dishwasher than my kids. It's insane. How, I can't believe it's still happening. I can't believe that we're still creating dirty plates, dirty dishes. Just when you think you've got on top of it, something else full of leftovers gets finished and then you've got another dish that's got stuff welded onto the side of it.

Also as well the Christmas dinner really does weld onto a plate. If you leave that the gravy cheese to dry, that is a proper dish. The dishwasher is not enough. You've got to scrub and rinse before it goes in. Yeah, exactly. How's your Christmas Eve, Rob? Was your build-up better? Well we did quite a lot that week, so should I go through the week of what we did? Is it going to piss me off? No, no, no, well we went on that bus tour. Oh, we had a lovely bus tour. tour didn't we? Oh we had a lovely bus tour Rob, we had a lovely bus tour. Me, you, Rose Lou and the kids but not your youngest he was too he would have hated it but we had an afternoon tea Grinch bus tour. It was fun wasn't it? The French guy who was

like comparing the bus. He was good. He was good. The cakes were good. It was good. I'm going to say it. Yep. The advantage of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. ta. ta. ta. touche. ta. ta. ta. tou tou tou tou tou tou tou tou. Gus tou. Gus. G. G. G. G. G. toukekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekeke. t. t. t. t. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tou. ta. tsoa tsoa tsoa tsoa tine tine tine tou. tou. tou.. Yep. The advantage of them turning things green is that it's nice and grinchy. Yeah, the disadvantage is that children decide they don't like it because it's green when they just would be in a normal scone. Yeah, that's the problem. I did feel like our kids were a bit anti the cakes because they were bright green. You're going to the kids. the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Cante. Cante. Cante. Cante. C. C. C. Cakes. C. C. C. C. C. C. Cakes is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their c. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. food colouring, it doesn't taste. But it's difficult to explain that to a four-year-old. Yeah, you just got to let them ride it out themselves. But they get the kids got on well. Your daughter is so polite and so sweet. She was so quiet. Do you know what? She takes a while, thii's, she takes, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the kids. the kids. the, the kids. the, the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids. the the the the the the the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids. the kids. the kids. the kids about the grinch on a microphone strapped to his chin. It's a very fascinating thing.

If she's with people that she really knows, she becomes heavily in charge. And if she's with people she doesn't know, she sits back and observes. She's like you. She looks exactly like you as well. Yeah, well that's a shame for her. You know, no one deserves that. I'd say you and Rose have got the complete opposite shape of faces. Yeah, but do you want to know something interesting? Go on. Go on. Mos has got a thin face, but when she was a child, she had a big round face.

She's got. She's got. She's got. So we don't know if she's going into roses thin face or maintain the big round face of Whitacom. Yes but it's quite it's almost very trademarky your face. Yeah I have got it you know like you know like um well Elmett first and got her legs insured. You've got your face insured. I've got my cheeks. cheeked shed to be their sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th thu-I thu-I's thin' thin' the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's their their thin' their the's their their their their their their their their their their their their their theired. I've got theired. I've got theired. I've got their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's so sweet, she's really sweet. Your kids are lovely, Rob.

And they're loud. They're not loud. Oh my, I tell you who's fucking loud. Who? You. Oh, that was bad, wasn't it? You heckled two separate people on the bus. Someone's phone went off, which, in the middle of the bus, and Rob shouted out,

Oyoy, Ooy, Captain Business. Right, he was back. That got a laugh to be fair. The whole bus heard it? Yeah, but I can't help myself. There's something wrong with me, Josh. I speak before I thought, were you brought up in a jongler's, like, it's like, Yeah, my house is worse worse a jonglers growing up. Was it? Oh so loud everyone's shower. You're constantly on your toes looking for bans. A hundred percent is survival. Do you know what my mom did

at Christmas dinner? You know what my mom did to me? A cemn't? it was boxing day actually, I got some seafood and no one has ever done this to me before and it was a little thing but it really freaked me out, it's sort of really invasive. She was eating prawns and obviously getting like prawny fingers and then I had a serviette, like a nice Christmas serviett thing on my lap, she reached over, picked it off off my lap and cleaned her fingers with it. Oh, that's unacceptable. Did she not have her own serviet? Yeah. And it weren't like it was next to my plate where it could have been hers or mine. It was on my lap. She put her hand in your lap.

She put her hand in my lap. She put her hand in my lap. And she went, I haven't got one, go and get a bit of kitchen roll. Don't start picking from my lap. So tell me more about your beautiful buildup where you've got all your presents wrapped, which I'm gonna put on Lou rather than you, Rob. Yep. You got all your presents wrapped, you're joking let me

let me stop coded it just does what a weird odd beep one second it just did a random beep oh fuck same this is this can't be listable sorry Josh right so to take me through your absolutely wonderful buildup to Christmas to Christmas okay so I also to ask to the build-up to Christmas, okay, so... Can I also ask, getting all your presents done, getting everything organized, what percentage of that is Lou based and what percentage of that is Rob based? Two words, Rob, mental load. Everything.

Okay. For the kids, Lou sorted everything while I was away pretty much, just because I wasn't here to do it. Food-wise, that was sort of, I'd say, 80, 20 in my favor of sort of getting the food and cooking it. Oh, that's good. So I do all the cooking on the day and sort of out the food and drink and stuff and collecting it.

Oh, that's, but do you think, do you think, Rob? Yeah. that's, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. wine and listen to the radio for 20 minutes. Because of our house, everyone just stands round the kitchen while I'm cooking. Which I find quite intense. Like Greg Wallace and John to Road style. Yeah. So I hosted Christmas Day and Boxing Day and by the end I was absolutely knackered. It was too much. I might do eat out next year and then just get everyone to come back to the house for drinks and like snacky bits? The old pub, the old pub lunch? The old pub lunch. I've always

looked at that and thought, that looks tempting, but they've got very strong views on bringing your own lasagna. I reckon if you, yeah, you can't bring your own lasagna and go warm that up for me, mate. Did you leave it in the shed or did you put it in the fridge? I'll be honest with you Rob. Ther I' the the the the the time, Rob, Rob, I' the the the time, I' time, I' the the the time, I' the time, I'll the time, I'll the time, I'll the time, Rob, I'll the time, Rob, the time, the time, th, the time, th, thi, Rob, th. thi, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi's thi's thi's th it was made so late in the evening that we just left it on top of the cooker. Okay, fair enough. Right, so my week, Monday wasn't a great start to the Christmas week. I had to go to Birmingham for a corporate, which was a... Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, not ideal. Anyway, the next day, if we did weren't even, they didn't even take the piss that much. It's basically they just like the idea of control. So you just have to set up parameters and go right let us know if there's any big things you want to do because you can't on the day say we want to go to a circus. Because you're like, well where's a circus? Yeah, yeah exactly. But they wanted to to go to go to go to go to go to go. They to go. They to go. They tothat. Big up Haken who helped us. They do I think 60 quib which I thought was quite good for an hour, like you get an instructor for all four of you for an hour. And I thought it was really good because you got to experience it all. Who was better you or Lou? wa was more theorist than me getting right up to the top because I bottled it halfway. Did you? Yeah, yeah. Did you? You that was th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You don't th. You don't th. You don't th. You don't the th. You're th. You're the the th. You're to to to the to the to the to they. they. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. 60. 60. 60. 60. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. 60. 60 th. 60 th. 60 th. 60 th. 60 th. 60 th. 60 th. 60 th. 60 th. 60. 60 th. 60. 60. up to the top so I bottled it halfway. Did you? Yeah, yeah. So you don't start out there forever. Everyone has to come back down.

So you don't start out there forever. Very deep. Very deep. Rob. Very deep. But Lou is better than me, but also Lou's very, what I'd say about Louis, she's a feminist, but actually does something about it. So she'll go right I am going to climb that wall or I am going to do it or like I will build the you know the IKEA furniture and stuff like that she makes a point of doing it which is great for me. And you show your feminism by letting Lou do everything. Yeah so I'm sure I'm a feminist by letting Lou do all the building of the IKEA stuff. Exactly. It's great. I love being a feminist. It's great. I loved I love th. I love th. I love being I love being I love being I love being I love being I love being I love being I love being I love being I love being I love being I love being I love it. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love th. I love it. I love it. I love th. I love the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. it true you bought or a spanner for Christmas? Is that true? No no that was her birthday present actually an early one because she needed it. Yeah so we did that kids Tuesday that we went climbing wall and then we went to Hey Duggy Live on the South Bank. They had a lot there was allowed an ice cream before lunch because it was yes day. Which I'd say overpriced but they enjoyed it. How did they approach they could choose whatever they ate all day?

What were they doing? Donuts in bed for breakfast? Oh my word. And then they had ice cream for lunch but then also had some like a hot dog thing from like one of them concession stands on the South Bank. And let's be honest Rob were you joining in. their to be thoenon. Rob. Rob. Rob. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. thinin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. tho. thoes. thoes. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. to. Don't. Don't. Don't. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. Oh. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. Oh. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I was trying to be trying to be healthy leading into Christmas but and then pizza for dinner but actually like they just love the idea of it more it weren't I thought they were gonna rinse but obviously when they get older mine are five and seven it'll go up and not.

When there's when they're 16 and 18 that's gonna be a tough day and you're out trying to give me more, if you want hard drugs, you need to let me know. If you want class A's, I need a couple of days. But yeah, that was brilliant fun. We enjoyed that. Then on the 21st, we were on the Grinchbus with you, that was fun. We had some cakes and stuff. And then on the 22nd, we had a chill day at home.

Then the baby sit and then we had the cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes cakes the babys the babys the baby their their their their their their their their their their th.. th. their their th. th. th. th. tha. tha. th. We th. that. that and Lou went out for some drinks and food, a little date night, and then we had the babysitter come around. These people have sorted their lives out. Oh, it was great. We had a babysit, we had a babysitter. We had a babysit, we went, oh, we went, oh, we'll see some friends. And we, this was funny. This was funny. When we come back, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the baby, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. tha, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I, that, that, that, that, that, they.a, they. We, they. they. theyitter. They said, oh yeah, they did play a trick on me. And we went, oh, what was the trick? And she went, oh, your daughter said,

come here to the bedroom and smell under the covers. It smells beautiful. And I was like, oh, sometimes the girls spray lose perfume. So when they're upstairs, they're supposed to be asleep. They're running around and spraying perfume. and hotboxed. Yeah, they hotboxed the babysitter. Oh my God, oh my God. Fucking out. That is incredible. I know it's a bit much in it. Seven and five. I think though, if you're a babysitter and they go smell under the duet so as beautiful, I think you think they're going to have fired under there. Surely. Surely.

She played along though. Great woman. Yeah, yeah, okay. Good woman. And yeah, so did that 23rd, we went down to Lapland, you know, Lapland in Ascot? Oh, yeah, I've been there. That is one of my few Christmas victories. I'd say though, it was torential rain in the morning. And it does take a bit of the magic off, it is brilliant. And it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, tha, tha. Yeah, tha', tha', th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, tha', tha, Oh dear. Did the real snow melt? No it didn't. No that was still there. It was still pretty solid. It was still, the magic was still pretty strong so no that was that was brilliant. As ever you've heard me sing that those praises before but um yeah tell you what Robbock. Robbock you've had an incredible Christmas period. It's insane. It's insane. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It was still still still th. It was still th. It was still still still still still th. It was still still still still th. It was still still still still still still the the th. It was still still still th. It was still th. It was still th. It was still th. It was still th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was still still still still. It was th. It was still. It was still. It was still. It's the the the th. It was still. It's the the the th. It was still. the thi. the thi. thi. the thi. the the thi. the the the thi. the the thi. th. the th. Will we achieve this? Well Christmas Eve obviously went to Muppets, watched the cinema, and nice came back, had a bit of lunch, and then me and Lou sort of wrapped a few presents, had a few drinks, a bit of party food.

Made love in front of the fire. No, no, no, no fire. Just did it in front of the electric fan. warming our cold bodies. I'm too, I'm finding it to, I'm not sexy at Christmas. I'm not into it. I'm too tired and full. It's the least sexy time of you. I'm so fat, I'm so that, I'm so hot, I feel awful. I got so hot on Christmas Day from cooking. I'm sat in the garden for 25 minutes, just did a tea shirt and traces. Oh my god, and the troasasasasas-ss, ths, ths, ths, ths, th-oh, th-oh, th-oh, th-oh, throwns, th-oh, throwns, th-ohs, th-I's th-I's th-I's thi's thi's thi, thi, their-I's thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's they-I's they-s, it's they's they's they's thi's thi's thi-s, thi-s, ti-s, I's tired, I's tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm the tired, I was your Christmas day as perfect as the build-up to Christmas? I'd say Christmas, it was lovely. I was just so, like the food was great, we had lose mom and dad over and stuff and it was really lovely. I was just too tired.

Honestly, I think when you've got kids... We had 48 activities for children in the week before. And we'd had both their birthdays, like to their, and we had, and we had, and we had, and we had, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, and we had both, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th....... We, th. th. th. th. to, to to to thoooooooo, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, row and I think by the time it gets to Christmas like it's like a time to catch up with family isn't it and also Loo's or our other niece on Lou side it's her birthday at beginning December so Lou essentially has seen her mom and dad three four Sundays in a row yeah so by the fourth time everyone just love shagging in March. Yeah they do the Watts just get a bit holy March they love the spring they they see they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they do. The Watsies just get a bit holy Marlstown. They love the spring. They see a lamb. Let's go to town. And so Christmas Day was a success. So how did the presents go? Yeah good. Yeah, so we had

Father Christmas gave him one present, which was the Barbie Dreamhouse and then we got them some. That's how we sort of do it. And yeah, they absolutely loved it. And I was so happy and excited. Like, those people that wait till the afternoon, I think, you're losing the momentum and the energy of the morning by waiting so long. Yeah, oh, you've got to go, you've got to go, you've got they, you're got they, you're got they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they're, they're, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're absolutely, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, they're absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, I've got, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, they're, absolutely, absolutely, they Yeah, I was like, you know when I sort of caught myself going, I'm in the moment here and yeah so no it's good and then the food is all good it's just I'm just think it I think everyone's a bit ill and tired and I just I find it so exhausting people. Yeah, it is fucking knackering. So how was your Christmas day? It was good. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's good. It's all. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It to leave one stocking downstairs because my youngest is scared of him.

Oh really, yeah. That's not what him in the room, which is understandable. So we had the stocking was in the room. She wanted to put a carrot out for every reindeer. Okay, that's a lot of carrots, mate. Yeah, we talked around to carrot bans. which was good. One baton, humus? No, no hummus Rob. No, because I thought when he were doing the round and hack he's probably humused up to the eyeballs enough as it is, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah it is. Addin? So what did you put out from? What do we put out? Nine carrot batons, some brandy and a mince pie?

Classic, nice. Okay, fair enough. And she wanted a magic set for Christmas. Yeah, she got a magic set from Santa. How was that? There's a lot of work for the parent, the magic set. She was annoyed. She was annoyed. It wasn't actually magic. Which was annoying for me because it's very difficult to explain that you just have to learn how to do the tricks now. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You've got to to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to bring to be to be to be to be to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoooooooooooooooo. that. that. that. too. the too. Yeah, you're not going to be able to make a ball disappear. She was annoyed that there wasn't the opportunity

to put a rabbit in a hat and make it disappear. And I thought, come on, mate. Imagine if you've got a rabbit just for the trick. I know, exactly. So I'd say Christmas Day was a success. I'd say. Oh, Rob. Victoria Park? I just took my son on the morning because... I've never known anyone. You're there more than the bloke who's in charge of it.

You're there more in the groundskeeper, you should just get a set of keys. Honestly. Open it up for him. But my son, you've got two daughters, right? Yeah. Now I've done a sample of my friends who've got boys and girls. I know every child's different. But fuck me, they fit into gender roles quickly, my children. My son, my daughter, would happily just stay in the house and do crafts until the apocalypse. If my son is still in the house at 5 past 10 in the morning, he is going fucking insane. I think it's like a dog that needs walking. You've got to swall them. Take him to the cinema the cinema the cinema the cinema the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. the cinema. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their it's like a dog that needs walking. You've got to just walk them. Take him to the cinema, dog friendly? Yesterday, took him to the park in the morning. Then got home, he didn't want to come in the house, so I just had to walk him around the block.

And then in the afternoon I was just walking around the block. So is he walking himself? Yeah he's walking himself? he's just. So, he. So, he. So, he, he, th. So, th. So, the th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. he, he's walking himself. he, he's walking himself. took, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's walking, he's walking, he's, he's walking, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. to. to. to. He. He. He's, he's, he's. He's. He's. He's, he's took. He's took. He's took. He's took. He's took. He's took. took. took, he's took. took. took. took. too. took. too. took between road and a pavement, that's not annoying. And then, so he's got this thing, right? Where he's been taught to sit down for his food, right? Like a fucking dog. What? So it's like, what what you mean? He sits down if he wants food? Like, because he goes to his seat normally. Yeah, he goes to the seat normally. So just in the street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street street the street the street the street th. the street th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he's th. he's he's he's he's he's he's to to to he's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he he's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he th. he he th. th. th. he the the the the the. the the the. the the the. the the the. the the the. the. the the. the. the. the. he's he he's he he he he to his seat normally. So just in the street you'll do it, if he's hungry. Well, that's what's, that's what happened for the first time yesterday. This is a picture of him after I bought some grapes at 5 p.m. in the afternoon. Can you see that? He's just sat on the floor in the street. Oh my god. He's just sat on the fucking own. Because it's definitely yours.

They're definitely my Rob. There's no doubt about that. Because when I saw yours I did think I'm not sure about this. Yeah. Well yeah, so he's just sitting down on the paink. So he's just sitting down on the paink. Did he give him a grape on the floor? Yeah. And then he just sat down on the paving to to to to to from the shop. So basically he's walking along with you and he wants another grape so rather

and put his hand out he just sits on the floor. He just puts his hand out and then he sits down on the floor and then you're like what the fuck on them do here. Yeah, it must be quite a jump as well because your daughter is so chilled. I know she comes out of a shed a bit, but she wasn't like, she's just sort of, she's very... She just goes along with life. Yeah. He, he's desperate to do stuff. Do you know what I'm doing after this, Rob? What? The moment this stops recording. Victoria Park? Yeah. Honestly, I fucking live there. I might as well

move to the park. There is like a little house in the park, like a kind of groundsman's house. I'm thinking of looking into it. Well the thing is, is what, if you live a bit further out, you could get a bigger garden and he could run around the garden more. The problem that is Rob, he does run around our garden, but it'll go into the flower flower, things, things, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, the tho, the tho, tho, the tho, the tho, the tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, the th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's throan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thiiiolou-n, thi's thi, thi, thi run around our garden, but it'll go into the flower bit. The thing with Victoria Park is, I don't care if he fucks it up. It's just, it's a big open green, so he's not going to hurt himself. It's a big open green, so he just goes and you just follow. And let's be honest, have a look at your phone while he's walking. the phone their too guilty about the podcast in one ear. I feel too guilty about the podcast in one ear. Do you do that? Well, no, no, but like when they're that, when they're that age, and they're not directly, I wouldn't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.., like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, th. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. theea. the key thing is to watch him. And he goes over so often, right? He goes over and he doesn't give a shit, right?

So I reckon obviously he falls over, you know, grass joins the path, he'll fall onto the grass, that kind of thing, yeah, constantly. And he doesn't think anything of it because he's 18 months old. We were walking past a couple yesterday. the thank. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. the thi. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he he he he he he th. th. th. He's th. He's th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the. He's the. He's theeee. He's toeeee. He's thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He's the the th. He's a couple yesterday. He fell over and the man who was about 60. He like panicked and lifted him up and picked him up as if, and it looked like I was a bad dad drop because I just didn't even react to my own son falling over. I just watched him fall and just carried on. Yeah, but you know that he's fine. I know he falls 20 times a day, it's fine.

Grass in winter, it's basically a bouncy castle. Exactly, it's fine. So that's been my Christmas. And I've been ill. I've been ill. We're all, everyone's ill. Me and Tom Davis. You know, Tom Davis?

Yeah. We were messaging each other about, blah, blah. Oh my god. Shit Twins. That is not an image, is it? How did that come up? Well, I was messaging him. And I was saying, I was like, oh, I've just gone to the toilet for a bit of quiet time to have a shit. You know what, I'm having a shit too. We both sent each other a photo. And then it was funny, all the messaging stopped, the message, to me, to me, to me, to me, to, to me, to, to, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. the. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. to. to him. Yeah. If you ask me to write a list of the top five guests we've had that I wouldn't want to follow into the toilet, Tom Davis will be honest. I bet he does some damage in there, don't they?

Oh my word. He's a big lad. He's a big lad. I imagine yours are perfectly spherical. Yeah. It's like a rabbit. beige rabbit drops. Yeah. Josh, should we do a, what's it called, a small business shout? Yeah. And then next episode I think we should do some correspondence. I feel like I really need to have a successful Christmas next year, Rob. I feel like I'm on a

bad run. Yeah, but I think that Christmas is never as good as you think it's going to be and don't beat yourself up for it. It is what it is, it's just a day. I think I th. I th. I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I prefer. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I the. I the. I ne. I ne. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I think I prefer all the other days, not of the year, but around Christmas. I agree. I mean, actual Christmas Day, I find, but then I'm doing a lot of the cooking and organiser. I think if we go, I'm going to try going out next year. So what, what are you going to do? You're all going to turn up at a pub? Oh my God, no washing up. No washing up. No dishwasher, mate. And in me, we just have a quiet day, we go, like, people

can come on Christmas day, but have a quiet day boxing day. Oh yes, please. Oh my my to the the theckney big Tesco on the 23rd. Go things. th. my appalling preparation for Christmas. Yeah. I went to the Hackney Big Tesco on the 23rd. Okay. Fucking hell. That is a tough. I took my daughter because I thought it'd be a nice day out. That is an insane place to go on the 23rd of December. The cues... That's a lively Tesco days. The cues Rob. Two-thirds of the way down the aisle. Yeah. I was at the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was at the th. I th. I was at the th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I ta. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I ta. I ta ta ta. I ta tasknenenenenenenenenenene. I ta. I ta. I ta. I ta. I ta. I. I ta. I. I. I. I. I ta. I ta. I ta. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I went. I went. I went, to. I went, to. I went, to. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. I went. That's a live... The cues, Rob, two-thirds of the way down the aisle. I was at the back of the queue with all my stuff and I phoned Rose and I said, I think it might just be quicker to abandon my trolley and go to the local shops and buy all this stuff which we could have got anyway because I think I'm going to be this queue 45 minutes. What did you do? I stayed. Yeah.

But that wasn't my biggest mistake. My biggest mistake, Rob, was I chose to queue up in the alcohol aisle on the 23rd of December. Oh, Josh. So for 45 minutes, I was basically blocking people from their alcohol. I would say it's the bleakest place I've ever been. The alcohol aisle. On the th I th I th I th I th I th I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, think I think I think I think, thi, thi, thi, thinked, thinked, thinked, thinked, think, th, th,. The alcohol aisle on December the 23rd in Hackney Tesco. Stood with my five-year-old daughter. What was popular, Rob?

Fucking everything. People, if you think England has got a bad relationship with alcohol, you should stand in the alcohol aisle of Tesco on December the 23rd. It was enough to put me off drinking for life. I tell you that, it was unbelievable. My daughter's not really understanding what's going on why people are pushing pasta in attempt to get the last bottle of Rosé,

who's drinking Rosa on fucking Christmas Day? Well, to counteract at that drinking, that we've all done over Christmas, shout out. Here, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and I's, and I'm thin, and I'm thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, and I, Josh and Rob. We actually love the podcast, brings a smart to our face every time I listen. Please could you give a small business shout to my husband's alcohol-free bar in Darby? Oh, here we go. He and some friends set it up a few years ago,

and now they have a bar in the city center, which is completely alcohol-free. and I've just celebrated their first birthday. They have also an online store and they do delivery across the UK. Their Instagram is YADA Collective, and their website is Yada Collective. If you're ever in Derby or Nottingham, pop by and enjoy a pint of alcohol, free beer or a cocktail. Thanks. Go ahead, Josh, are you got one? Yes. Hi, Robin Josh, huge friend of the podcast, been listening since more or less the start. Whilst we don't have children yet, my partner and I love listening have found it both invaluable and terrifying, hearing from you both as well as your guests.

About the ups and downs are becoming a parent. It's now safe to say we're both excited and terrified and equal measure after listening. I'd like to ask for a small business shout out for my partner's dog Barkery, called Good Dog Barkery, which she started during lockdown after our cockapoo Loki was found to have several allergies which make getting him treats both expensive and difficult. Since his diagnosis, she's been a certified dog nutritionist creating a range of products which not only use human-grade ingredients but also nasties-free and gluten and dairy-free. She makes each one by hand and takes care to make sure they're not too calorific for dogs. She can be found on Insta at Good Dog Barkery, like Bakery,

but with an R in, where there is a link to her Etsy shop. Any help you can offer to get her started will be a big boost. She's gone above and beyond to give our food-loving dog something he can enjoy, so I'm very proud of her. Thanks in advance, Tom. Josh, well, I'll see you for the next one. Friday, I think Correspondence Spiesh. Oh, yes, please, we don't do enough correspondence. Do you know what we say more than anything on this show?

That we don't do enough correspondence. We should use that time to do corp, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thr, tho... We's, tooomoomorrow, too. We's, too. We'll, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, tho, their, th do correspondence. Yes, please send more stuff in as well. This is a call-out for more correspondence. Any boomer stories, any injuries from your kids that have hurt you by accident? Any funny stories from parenting, let us know and we'll read them out. Josh, see you next time. See next time. Look forward to it. Bye!