Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP46: Bum hole, bits, and willy...

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

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Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings May 3, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hill with, Margot, come here, darling. Can you say Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdickum? Welcome. Well done, darling. There we go.

That was nice. That's a good intro that. Yeah, that was nice. Hi guys, this is Margo, nearly four years old. We love your podcast and Margo would love for you to use this on your podcast as she's a second child so nothing exactly happens for her as older sister. Matilda's going to be fucking livid. Love their mummy, Amy from Bristol.

Well, so this is a very tough life, Amargo. She has to do something different to her older sister all the time. It's constantly searching. Toughy. Where were you in the lineup of siblings? Three older, one younger. Oh, bloody the old one. No one you've you you desperate seek for attention, eh? Am I right?

Yeah, pretty much. That's exactly what's happened. But let's not get bogged down by that. Now, have a problem playing those out as we've discussed, Rob, because I live in a Wi-Fi black spot. Yes, yes. I suggest that you should be doing this podcast from somewhere that has the internet? No, because I've put internet wire into my computer so the podcast works perfectly, but I just can't really access my phone during the podcast. The worst thing about the internet black spot is just outside my house, there's a complete black spot if

you want to use a card machine. So every time I get a cab home and I need to pay by card it will fail and then I have to explain to the cabie that you that you the the the the cab that you that you the cab that you that you the cab that you the cab that you the cab that you that you now now now now now now now now now now now now now to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the c.cock. the. the tho. the the the tho. the the the tho. the tho. the toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. a cab home and I need to pay by card it will fail and then I have to explain to the cabbie that he now needs to drive me around the corner because that's the reason my card is bouncing and I have got the funds in my yeah and it looks like I'm just trying to... Why is that in London? You're in London? You're in London? I know Rob back in Devon Rob. No I know I know I can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can't you you you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can why you can't get a taxi back in Devon Roll. But yeah, isn't that bad? It's really bad, Josh. Before we do the correspondence, there's a couple of things I forgot to tell you last time we spoke. Oh, exciting.

I've taught my children the words vagina, penis and anus. Yep, good. Because that's the medical term. So what were they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. Because. Because they th. Because they th. Because th. Because thi. Because thi. Because thi. Because thi. Because thi. Because thi. Because that that. Because that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Because th. Because th. Because th. Because th. Because th. Because th. Because th. Because th. Because the th. Because th. Because thi. Because thi. Because that the thi. Because the the the the the medical the medical the medical the medical the medical the medical the medical the medical the medical the medical the medical the. the. the. the. the. and Willie. Bumol Bits and Willie. Absolutely, one of my favorite sketch groups from the Edwin, we used to do Edamwe. Ha ha ha ha ha. Vagina, Dick, penis, not Dick. So, but then I was sort of doing that

because I found it quite funny. And Lou was getting the um with me. No, it's the right thing to do. Yeah, but then they were going, um, uh, sagg-I- then they misheard me and they was called it. Sagina peanuts and an anus. And then for some reason they just started basically my youngest daughter used to say was be whipple like you know like a little baby voice. Yeah, you know like a little And she's just grown out of it now and says raspberry ripple like, yeah, normally without that sort of baby twang. Yeah. And then I was like, oh you're not a baby anymore, blah blah blah.

And then we had to chat about, you know, the words, penis, anus, an anus and vagina. Then they started chanting raspberry anus, raspberry anus, over and over again. Did it? They were just getting the, raspberry anus over and over again. Who was living? I don't know why they were doing it. And then they just kept them going, Raspberry sagina.

Raspberry sagina. Yeah, vagina is a difficult one because my daughter calls it a vagina. A vagina? Like it's a difficult word for a kid to do for some reason. What, vagina? Yeah, anus is fine. Yeah, anus. Oh, they love anus. Although my daughter wouldn't call it an anus. She'd call it a bum, I think. So what does she call it? Bum? Vagina? Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. And then what about? Willie? Probably.

Yeah. She called it a schlong for a bit, which I thought was a bit weird. Why the vagina vagina vagina. W W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. Well, thi? Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, the. Well, the. Well, the. Well, the. W. A, the. A. A. W. A. W. A. W. A. A. W. A. W. Well, th thought was a bit weird. Hey, why bimmy out? The Johnson? The one-eyed snake? Yeah. We had my daughter's friend round, and she calls it Netflix. What, a vagina? She calls it a netflakes. She calls it a netflakes. Oh, netflakes. She calls it a Netflix. I think she calls Netflix Netflix Netflix or corn flakes.

Oh that's cute. I thought that was good. Yeah, any more kids calling things wrong that's quite funny and sweet let's know. Send them in. Oh, this other thing before we do correspondence, I know we keep threatening. We're not doing correspondence, right? We are. I've got, basically, I need some advice here, Josh, right? Because I don't know what to do, so. I've got a doctor's number if you want it, Rob.

No, no, that's nothing to do with my anus. I'd say, I time which I'd say. Do you want me to send you a photo of my anus? No? No, no I don't know. No, okay cool fair enough. I did have to get Lou to shave my back on boxing. What? Sorry. So I get really hairy back. Are you inthere. Boxing day? Yeah in the garden and I was really cold. What are you living in a trailer park? What's going on? You don't get hair in the house? Why are you on boxing day making Lou shave you back in the garden? Because I just noticed it, we had a bit of spare time before people come over. When you're going to be divorced Lou is going that is going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their. their. their. their. their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. tra. tral. tral. their their the of your bad behavior. Meanwhile, you're sitting there fucking Instagramming about your stand-up special being on Sky.

And lose shaving your back. No, but we'd been busy because we had to catch up and traitors before the finale and I'm not going to spoil it for anyone. Traters is a great show. It's the greatest TV of all time, Rob. Yeah, but do you know what annoys me a bit Josh is that it's reality TV okay? Yeah, right? It's reality, it's reality TV, and now because it's on the BBC it's almost like all the little stiff-neck guardian readers have decided that reality TV's okay now. No, I'd like to be very clear.

I still I still don't like Love Island Rob. But it's essentially the same. But you like it packaged. It's difficult for different for me Rob. Rob. Rob. to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. It's reality it's reality it's reality it's reality it's reality. It's reality. It's reality. It's the reality. It's the reality. It's the the the the the reality. It's the the the the reality. It's the the the the the reality. It's the the reality. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's the the the the the the the the the the the t. I's reality. I's really really. I's try. I's really really really. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the essentially the same but you like it packaged. It's difficult for different for me Rob because obviously as you know I am a huge fan of the original five or six big brothers. Yeah sure. So I was there at the start I'm currently listening to a ten part podcast about reality TV Rob. Which is very interesting. I'd listen to that. Can you send that link to me? Yeah I will send that link to you. And so but I would say I would I I I I I I listen I listen I listen I to to listen I to listen I to listen to listen to to to to to to to listen to to to to to to the 10 the 10 to the 10 the 10 the 10 to the 10 to the 10. I'm to to to to the 10. the 10. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'd listen to that. Can you send that link to me? Yeah, I will send that link to you. And so, but I would say to people, stick with this podcast as well because ten, you know, don't get too distracted by it. But, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Josh, no, no, let them come, no, they're they-I don't. thr. Go. Go. Go. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. No, th. th. th. th. th. th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. to. to. th. to. th. to. to. to. t people, oh my God, this is reality TV when it's done well. I've been there from the fucking start reality TV. Don't start jumping on board because it's on fucking BBC 2. It's on BBC 1, Rob. Is it?

All right, whatever, same thing, isn't it? But yeah, it's brilliant. It's really good. Yeah, so the advice. the advice. Basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically. daughter gets a little bit doesn't really like going to bed on her own okay like so always would always ask a sister to have a sleep over and they did for the first week of Christmas off school they were sleeping in the same beds together anyway yeah then then Christmas Eve it came to her head because she didn't want her stocking at the door because she's scared of Santa yeah yeah she had to have hers downstairs but she but a sister wanted her stocking on the door, she wanted to see it when she woke up in the morning, and then, you know, and then at one point,

to try and appease the youngest, I said, look, he'll be so quick and I basically reenacted how quick Santa would be. He won't, I was like, he won't even look at you, he won't even look, the snack as well? Yeah we did gingerbread, carrot and some milk. Did you act him out eating the snack without even looking at her? No, no, no, the snacks downstairs. Oh, right, okay. All right, fine, fine, fine, fine. By the fireplace, I forgot, went to the front door again because when we were growing up we didn't have a fireplace. So that was a classic, me and Lou, arguing it. Anyway, so push comes to shove, they both

selecting separate beds, okay? So I went with the youngest and I said, I'll lay with you, right? And then my eldest, like, can you lay with me? And the eldest, can you lay with me? And, the oldest, can you lay with me, and the oldest, the oldest, the oldest, their tho' thin, their th.......... And, th. And, th. th. th. their, their, th their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they's, and, and, and, and, and, and I's, their, their, and, and, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and.... And, and. the youngest. the youngest. the youngest. the youngest. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the youngest, and, and, and, and, and, and, I's. the way their bed's positioned is, I lay at the bottom of a bed like a dog sleeping by the feet. My kids have got small doubles. It's not a double, but it's like bigger than a, so two of them can get it. Right. Like a bad hotel, that kind of double. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like you think this isn't really a double, but it's fine.

Yeah. bed she went can you lay next to me but if I lay next to her on the bed in order to once she's fallen asleep I've got a climb over and it's always wakes her up always wakes her up so I said I'll lay at the bottom anyway so I'm laying there for ages and then she's listening to her music or whatever is sing to or mama me it I'm laying there youngest youngest the youngest to up the youngest. I was like, yeah, just shush. I'll come in a minute, but she's going to sleep. And eventually I think I've got the youngest to sleep in that bed, so I get up, don't disturb her, then I go and get in my eldest daughter's room and I lay next to her. But the way she, her bed is, it's easier to wake her up. So I'm laying there with the oldest, right? She's about to go asleep. Youngest walks him. Why, I thought you were gonna lay in a bit?

And why, and why are you laying on the bed like I asked you to? Why do you love more than me? Why are you laying there? And I'm like, oh no, that is awful. That is super. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, like one of those people that's got two different wives, do you know what I mean? Yeah, but then as soon as the youngest walked back in, so this was about like quarter to nine, right? I was like, half eight quarter to nine, and I was like, right, she's good actually. Because the old tho, I don there because I went in with the youngest. So I'm like, bang, I'm downstairs by 10 to 9 to 9. I'm watching tele. As soon as the youngest comes in, I'm like, that's a half an hour. That's an instant half an hour extension. Yeah, so, and then, and then, you sort of think, she's too young to to to to to to to to to to to to to to understand, to to to to to to understand, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to toe their the youngest by the youngest by toe toe toe toe toe their to 10 by to 10 by to 10 by to 10 to 10 to 10 to 10 the youngest the youngest to the youngest to the youngest to to to to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come their their their their their their their their their their their their their. tend, tend, te. te. I. I. I'm te. I'm te. I'm tell. I'm tell. I'm tell. I'm telle. I'm tell. I. So how does it end? Who knows? They basically go out clubbing when they're 18 and I cry myself to sleep thinking I wish I could just lay next to them,

hold their hand and suggest to Lou that maybe you know 50 isn't that late to have another third kid surely. Well the problem is you'll all like that's the thing about the third kid. They're cute and that but you're all, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, like, it's, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th..a, th.a, th.a, th.a, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the problem is, you're all like that, that's the thing about the furlid kid. They're cute and that, but you're all like, you're basically, it's like a drug addicts, you always tracing a hit. Because they will grow up and be big and not cute anymore. Do you know what I mean? So you're constantly chasing the hit. So you're constantly, I'm going to, you're just, you're a to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like's a proper girl little girl at school she's not in our head she's still the cute little baby she's a big five as well isn't she Rob she's very tall for five she can see why she's an athlete you know I mean she's been yeah I think it's gonna be interesting when she starts doing sport she started

karate in tycondo I wouldn't want to face her in the karate ring. She is... You're trying to say my daughter's intimidating? No, I'm not trying to say she's intimidating, Rob. I'm saying, you know, she's not got a huge amount of Beckett jeans in the physically. Okay, so all right, so you're saying that she's a Watts. So, in what way is she a Watts, Louise Watt's, the that, that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, the they's, she's, they's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, they's, she's, she's they's they's, they's, they's they's, I'd say, I'd say she's a Watts. I'm not sure how to take this. So what in what way is she a Watts, not a Beckett? In what way is she a Watts, not a Beckett? And I say this with, you know, your squat. I'd say brawled. No, no, no, no, I don't mean that. I've seen you do that thin, where you pull pull your trousers up, Rob. I saw you do that a preview. It's stuck with me. It's stuck with me. Your lake proportion. You've got a strange shape and your daughter should be absolutely dancing all day long. That has not been passed on. She must be delighted. Yeah, well, to be fair, Louis side, like Lou's dad, he had a knee rep their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the knee their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the is thease thease thease thease thease that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. I that's the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. I's the is the is the is the is the is the is theeeeeeeateateeateeateeateeatea. Hea. I's theateateateateatea. I's thea. I's the Yeah, well to be fair, Lou side, like Lou's dad,

he had knee replacement, he's really good at the sport and he's quite tall and athletic and stuff like that. And Lou's sister was a dancer and now was like a Pilates teacher. It's going to be the greatest story of all when your daughter scores the winner in the World Cup final for England and they cut back to you, the footage of you with the, with the, with the, like, like, like, with the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the in the World Cup Final for England and they cut back to you the footage of you with the with the KFC just 20 years before. Look, I've always had the talent but just not the body for it. You've seen my goals. Exactly. This is this is it. I can't run. You need to get her in an academy Rob. You need to you need to you need to Richard Williams this straight away. Yes. We'll th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, you, you, you th, you the, you the, you the, you the, you the, you the, the, the the the the, th, the the, the the the the the the the their their their their their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their the, the, the, the, the, thefefefefefefefefefefefefefefe, tefefe, tefe, thefefe, the, their their the, this straight away. Yes, we'll see how that goes but yeah I think we're quite lucky now no offense to my parents. Or the other option Rob

is give them a childhood they're your two options. But you know what a life if they make but I want to say about my parents but I don't mean unfair on them but they're not they don't look like athletes. No my dad's five foot my I've never seen my mother run look like athletes. No, my dad's five to five, my mom's five foot. Yeah, yeah. And my, I've never seen my mother run. Have you never seen your mother? Ever. I'd say I've barely seen her walk briskly. She's got a bad knees now, but even in her pomp, she weren't, she weren't a quick walker. I'd love it if they'd be good at sport. Be fun, wouldn't it? Well, you've got the skills, but not the physique. Maybe, maybe, let's see, let's see, let's, let's see, let's get bogged down about my physique, okay?

Sorry. It's been a long Christmas, I've been eating a lot. No, no, no, no. This isn't, this isn't about. This isn't about, this isn't about, you're not fat. This. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Let's not, let's not, let's not. Let's not. Let's not. Let's not. Let's not. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let's not. Let's not. Let's not. Let's not. Let's not, let's not, let's not, let's not, let's not the. Let's not the. Let's not the. Let's not the th out of our now. We've done 20 minutes if we haven't fucking probably six minutes once it's been edited but we've been recording for 19 minutes. Here we go. Always interesting when we drop in a time thing and people can look at their look at their time and see how much Michael has thought was dog shit. Almost definitely they will have cut out the bit where we'd say who won the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they're to to to to to to to to to they's they's they's. they're they're they's. they's. they's. they's. they're probably probably probably probably probably. they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. to to to their. to to their. their. their. their. to to to to try. try. toy. tip. tell. try. tell. All. to to to to to to to to they're probably probably. All. they're probably. they're theirthe traitors. I don't know. Yeah, that's gone. That's gone. Right, okay, here we go. Right, here. Do you want some boomers? We've got loads of good boomers. Do you want to any more Christmasy stuff, do we? We're sort of done with Christmas now.

Oh, I don't know. If it's funny, it's funny. Oh, this is bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th. th, th, th. th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to her a bad pat lunch so she won't ask for one again. Georgia from Tunbridge Wells, 372 months, she said it dawned on her after hearing you talk about this, that she remembers being at primary school and been so excited to have her first ever pat lunch as up until that point she had had school dinners which she hated. She said I sat down with my friends and they all took out their sandwiches, crisp and cold snacks. I was so excited. But I opened my lunchbox and inside was half a cold kiche.

Oh no, no, no kiche. Oh no, no, no. thiesh. What? What? What? That's not. Oh, that's not. That is a dry, no drink. I've never forgotten and listening to your podcast

and suddenly made me think if my mom had done it on purpose to stop me asking again. That is bleak. How big's the quiche? Half a kish is too big. Like, you've got to have something else for you. Shvelling a bloody club or a trio. Who actually likes fucking kiche?

I don't like Kish, let alone fucking it. Do you know what, I'd fuck a warm one, not a cold one. If I had to fuck a Kish, it'd be Lorraine and it'd be warm. Why, I'm glad you added the Kish thing because it's... when you... Michael, could you just do an edit and remove the... Reme of the Kish and replace it with Rob's saying TV presenter. That'd be terrible, that'd be an awful thing. Faint news, fake news. Here we go.

All right, boys, when I was growing up, my family would attend midnight mass on Christmas Eve. One year when I was only small, on the way to church, we. He slumped on a park bench, but most importantly, with a long white beard. My brother eight years older and me whispered, That's Father Christmas, let him leave his night shift. Better keep your bedroom door open, he'll be coming into your room to tonight to deliver your presents. Me being about five or six was absolutely terrified. It scarred my child at every Christmas from then on. Father Christmas wasn't the jolly man from the North Pole, but the drunk man at the end of my road who creeps into my room at night to deliver presents.

From that on onwards, my door will be firmly shut Christmas Eve and I insisted my present sack wasn't anywhere near my bedroom. Love the podcast, Hannah Smith, 27 from Bromley. Right, boomer stuff. tooomber stuff. When I was little, my cousin my my my my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin my cousin.. th. thoomom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to......................... I was toe. I was toe. I was toe. I was toe. I was toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe.. toe....... Here we go. When I was little my cousin and I wouldn't touch any vegetables to get us to eat them my auntie told us a story of nasty green who was a monster that came and got children who didn't eat their vegetables to make it even more terrify and she also drew a picture of him. It was basically a mutant broccoli monster and she stuck the picture of him next to the

table so that we were constantly reminded that nasty green would get us. Nasty Green is such a good name. We didn't eat up vegetables. I used to have nightmares about him for years. Oh my god that is, that is superb. Nasty Green. She's got another one as well though. Go on. She's got double, Megan. Nasty Green. Before we move on, that is a great name. Yeah, nasty green. If you do want to send in your the green, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, th. Nasty, th. Nasty, th. Nasty, th. Nasty, we th. We's th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're, we th. We're, we th. We're, we th. We're, we th. We, we th. We, we th. We, we th. We, we th. We, we th. We, we th. N. N. N. Nasty, we th. Nasty, we th. Nasty, we th. Nasty, th. Nasty, thin, thin, th. Nasty, to te. Nasty, tea. Nasty, teananan, tea. Nasty, we're thin, we're th. Nasty, we're th. is a great name, nasty green. If you do want to send in your artistic interpretations of nasty green, we'll put them on to Instagram. Also when I was about 15, we went on holiday to Greece. On the plane home I sat near what I thought was a good looking boy on the plane. Oh, you should have been the whole journey smiling and looking across each other. Oh, good stuff. I was like, Josh is the guy. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I's. Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I' the the the the the the th. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I'm the the the the the the th. Oh, I'm the th. Oh, I'm the th. Oh, I'm the the the the the the the th. Oh, I'm. Oh, I'm. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, good stuff. I was like, we've not read this out before. I was like, oh, Josh is the guy. Yeah, bit of fun.

Do you know what? If I looked and smiled at a girl on a plane when I was 15, there'd be police waiting on arrival. I looked menacing. Rob, I've got to ask a question. You met Lowe at work, didn't you? So she knew she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, to to to to to, to to to to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to, to. to. to. to. to. to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to that, if that, if to to that, if to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to who you are. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever pulled a stranger? Pulled a stranger. Like, have you ever chatted someone up on a plane or on a train or in a-

No, no. I mean, in a nightclub, I've sort of like got off with people when I was like 18, 90, but that, but that was different, but no, I am. I need to be near you for a longed to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to I need to be near you for a long amount of time to grind you down. What I've got I've got a lot of what I've got and at the start you're not interested in it but I'm a I'm a grind down guy I literally don't know how you do it I've calmed down a bit now what do you mean how I've do it no I just the thought of like charming a woman in a cafe was so far from my abilities, it still is. Oh God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Well, they used to call me all Bants no Pants, my mates. Did they? All chuckles no

fuckles. Because I've just friends over all every time. Oh, oh dear. But yeah. But yeah, I think, do you know what what what what what what what what what what th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho thi, do thi, do you know, do you know what, do you know, do you tho, do tho, do tho, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. to. to. th. tha. tha. th. tha. th. have calmed down a lot and I've sorted a lot of stuff out in my head. And people at home must be going, what the fuck were you like? I was awful. I was so relentlessly. Blah! Everywhere. Especially when I didn't have stand-up as an outlet. Stand-up tires me now, but in the pub. You remember that far show character the office funny office bloke who were a wacky time Colin something. Yeah, he was like the office clown Charlie Higgs. Yeah, yeah, that was you I was just yeah in the pub or I'd be in the pub first non stop performing oh oh chuckles no fuckles Oh chuckles oh oh chuckles sad really did you

did you? Did you? And you, does actually quite bleak? And you met Lou just before you started stand up? Or when you were just starting? No, so we worked in an office job in London doing admin when I was 23 and I'd done one gig and then I started gigging again and then Lou came but like with another girl from it just, I was like, we were all like a group of friends. So she sort of come, but Lou came to like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. And, thus, thus, thus, to, thus, to, to, to, thus, thus, to, to, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, I was like, we were all like a group of friends. So she sort of come, but Lou came to like one of my second ever gig. And then so she knew me before I started gig

and then like I did other gigs before I went to Adelaide and she like used to give me notes. She's like, it's very funny. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. for you low. No, all for me. Oh okay fair enough. I was just trying to, just try to, you know, no no I was absolutely narcissistic Megalamaniac at the start. It was all purely for me. Terrible. A complete lack of self-worth, no self-worth whatsoever, stood on stage, everyone laughed and I was like, yes, you are good. And then that descended in 10 years of chasing that drug until I accepted myself and realized I am I am enough.

I don't need them to laugh. Yes, I can enjoy it and it'll be fun, but that's not the reason why I'm a good or bad person. And that took a long time and a lot of therapy. It's good that I took this hour out from reading Matthew Prairie's book to basically get more of it on the podcast. Yeah, when I worked in an office in London before I, before I started in comedy, I was on a very Matthew Perry path. When I worked in office, Rob, I was so quiet as such a non-event, I remember going, when I joined Dora the Explorer, magazine. Yeah. We all went for a drink the first night I was there as a kind of welcome drink.

I just didn't speak. I just, and I remember, I vividly remember, one of the other people in the office going, you don't say much, do you? And I thought... Do you think they're all Spanish? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man.

I was so nothing, he robbed. It's unbelievable. I just just just just just just just just just, I remember. I remember. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember. I remember. I remember, I remember one, I remember, I remember, I remember, I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I remember, I. I. I. I. I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember one.. I remember, I remember one. I remember, I remember one. I remember onethe am I Joshua. I was so nothing he robbed. It's unbelievable. Oh, I just get one, I remember one week, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I was on the nightbus home at 3 a.m. Bear in mind I started work at 8.30am. I'd be, I'd leave Chaffarga Square on an hour and a half night bus with the McDonald's. Yeah.

I did Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I'm going to work. Oh my God. Awful, man. Anyway, let's get back to, this is a 15-year-old on the plane. Yeah, that's what we're on. That was what was... That was the journey, was it? Long way, Greece. Here we go. When I was back 15, we went on holiday to Greece. And we spent the plane journey smiling and looking at, well I don't love it, looking across at each other.

When we got off the plane, he came over to me and gave me his number on a piece of paper. My dad saw from a distance he was fuming and immediately took the piece of paper off me. As we exited the airport my dad saw him and his family getting into a taxi, he stormed over to the taxi, he stormed over the tax, as the, as the, as the, the, the, the taxi, the taxi, the ta, the the ta, the piece of paper into the taxi show him. We're not interested. We're dragged me away. I know, would you fucking threason with your daughter? You're fucking nutter? We're not interested, then drag me away red-faced. Classic boomer parenting. Oh God, that is awful. I understand. No, no. No, no, no. Let me hear that. That is awful. What he's done. I understand that I I I I I I I I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. the. thr. thr. thr. thr. thra. that is thra. thra. thr. that is th. th. th. there. That is awful. That is awful what he's done. I understand that dads will find it. It's a challenging time when your daughter is changing from a child, teenager into a woman

and as she gets older she loves, boyfriends and get married and have kids. That is a difficult thing. That is not how you deal with it. No, no. That is awful. That is, anyway, Megan. You don't need to need to need to need to need to need to need to need to need to need to need to need to need to need 't need to, oh my God, my friend was once on a train. Unless it was 27. My friend was on a train and he got talking to a girl. One of your friends.

And he got talking to her. And he got talking to her. And I think she wasn't on the same table, but she was like a cross. And then he thought he'd do the old pass the note with the phone number on. Yeah. So he got up to go to the toilet and just put the note down on her table and walked off, yeah? And then when he came back from the toilet, she was literally sat there with her head in her hands. Like, just totally mortified toified. toe mortified. to the to thiiii to thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and then, and then, and then, thi, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, and then, and then, and then, and then, th, th. And then, th. And then, th. And then, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And then, thi, thoooomorrow, thoomorrow, he thoomorrow, he thoooomorrow, he thooo' tho' the an thi. And then, she was literally sat there with her head in her hands. Like just totally mortified. Oh no. Just, she couldn't believe it happened. Do that as you're leaving, not going for a shit.

You don't go to the toilet, leave the note and then come back. Oh and what happened? She just ignored him. They just never said anything to each other for the rest of the to. Right, Josh, right, here we go, right. Roses left you. Yeah, right? Okay. You're in a flat, you're in a flat, you're in a flat, so ho- I'm a flat, you're in a flat, halfway through the podcast. You could have mentioned that at the start.

Right, yeah, you've got a flat around the corner. That's too bleak. Okay, you're in a flat flat around the coo. You're sleeping in the car. There's two bedrooms because the kids come to stay. Yeah, you're a box room. You've got a flat around the corner, two bedrooms. I feel physically sick at the thought of the tho and what I mean is the tho I'm I'm fine thin, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, Ithe scene, Rob. Yes, okay, so now you're on the scene. You're Josh Whitakham off the last leg. Oh no.

Happy, it's all good. Rose, she's moved on, she's with her personal trainer, they're loving life. He's moved in, he's in your bed. And you're now on the lookout. You're in the scene, Josh. but he does a good job. He does a good job. And also it's good to catch up on what my kids are up to from him while we're working out. Yeah, yeah, okay, so talk me through, you're back on the scene. Right, first of all, what you're doing, are you... I'm not getting on an app because I'm too worried about people's screen grabbing me.

Yeah, but as long as you don't put to put anything are like I just really can like my photo on an app and I what I'm fucking loser do you know what I mean that's surely yeah but I'm not I'm a public figure Rob I can't I can't there is a famous one is it there it's called something I can't yeah yeah but I'm not getting on that and suddenly I'm trying to chat up fucking, I don't know, Mandy Moore or whoever, do you know what I mean? If you had to give me an hour to walk out of three hundred names? Where did that come from? I'm not that you like Mandy Moore, don't you?

No, I don't even know what she looks like. I was panicking because I couldn't remember the name of him. I've just the other you you you you you you you you you you the other you the other you the other you the other you the other you the other you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like you like like like like like like you like you like like like you like like like like like like like like like like like you like like like you like you like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like you like like like you like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. you like. you like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You like. You what she looks like. I was panicking because I couldn't remember the name of him. What, I've just Googled. She's lovely. That's who I, the other person I was thinking of, essentially. The problem is Rob, if I get on a celebrity app, I don't want to go too much into what my tactics would be, but I'm instantly losing my only Trump card. Yeah, it's all I've got. So you're not going on a lab. So you're asking what I'd do if I got back on the scene? Yeah, so first, so the difficult thing is, obviously, are you looking for someone who's got kids already or doesn't want kids or no kids and you want to

have kids? I don't, I'm done with kids. Well, I'm done with kids. Well, I'm done with kids in this scenario, obviously. Yeah, yeah, okay. You don't want any new ones. You may, you know, you'll take on some other kids. But you don't want to breed more. Rob, Rob, I'll enjoy my freedom. Okay, yeah, sure, okay. So you're shagging about. Is that what you're saying? No, I'm not shagging about. I just mean I'm watching Super-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. Jessica Simpson, she's at next year watching Brunford's Fulham. You enjoy your freedom for a bit so you're not looking to get into a relationship.

This is a difficult one because Rose is going to listen isn't it? It sounds like I'm only answering the questions that are posed to me. Yeah, it's just because it's just cropped up. I answer is, I've got literally no idea how I would go about reading. So you're not going on an app, friends of friends or something? I think we spoke about this before for me, didn't we? And I'd just find someone else famous that was single. Did you? Yeah, I think we spoke about this before, but for me, not for you. Right, let's get back to this because you love Mandy Moore and Jessica Sims. Right. This is a really intense boomer parenting this one. This one's quite shocking actually. And I think I think is why, you know, like, I think this explains why have you seen that trend on

Tick Tock where people go to their parents, it's normally a mom or dad who in their 50s or 60s and say have you heard some and so has died like watch Stewart or Elton John to get a reaction and they really react like something like burst into tears and stuff like that but I think it might be past trauma from the way they were parented when you hear these stories I can sort of see why their reactions are like that so this is from Carmen Luck the age 53 from Market Harbor okay. Boomer this is I think it's might even th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho thi thi thi. the. I the. I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I tho-I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi the. I'm theeeeeeeeeeeeeann'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n' thi. is, I think it might even be beyond boomer, this was like in the 70s, which he says, Hello, Robin Josh, not sure if this would be good content for your show, as it may be a little sensitive, but I thought you'd like to hear how my dad done his parenting back in the 70s. I had a pet rabbit called Bluey-E-y-I now. I wasn't like. I didn't like the smell, and to be honest, I was young and I had other things I wanted to do.

My dad, who was a very strict ex-army guy, would always say to me, Carmen, if you don't clean that rabbit out, we will have it for tea. Oh my God. I never paid attention. Then one day I came home from school and walked into the utility room. There was this horrific smell and there was my dad gutting my rabbit. What? This was after many months of being warned that this would happen and I did not listen.

I was distraught. My dad tried to make it better by offering me the rabbit's foot to take to school for show and tell. What in the name of God? Needed to say, the family ate the rabbit for tea. I refused and I had fish fingers. What? Needless to say? And then the old caveat, he was a great dad,

but obviously being in the army and it was the 70s, rabbit was seen as a great meal and I didn't listen to my dad, which I probably should have. No, you shouldn't, you shouldn't, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, tha, tha, th gets eaten It did teach me a lesson though, and I'm now vegetarian and love all I love my dog more than I love my husband But I don't have a rabbit or is this one? No, oh fuck it Mick couldn't eat a rabbit. He's not that harsh. Yes, that is that is boomer and beyond that fuck me That is intense. That is very intense. That is that that's I do feel. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. that. that is that is that is that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I that. that. that. that. that. that. I that. I th.. That is, I do feel like, I know we laugh and joke about this, but that is something that I think Carmen should maybe speak to someone about. That's not something that needs to be worked for. But you could go, do you know, this is bad now, but

in, you know, 40 years I'm going to get a really good email out of this to a podcast. True, Exactly. Exactly. So you know, in a way that that that that that rabbit. That that rabbit. that rabbit. that that rabbit. that rabbit. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. thi. th. th. th. that's th. that's that in a way that that rabbit didn't die for nothing. Exactly. He's helped us out of a bit of content Christmas week. Um, right, I've got a couple more good ones here. This one's, this boomer parenting's mental, this one. Hi, Robin Josh, I don't have children and when you read this boomer trauma, you may understand why. Oh no. When I was around six or seven, I've begged my parents told. I the best. I've the best. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the biggest. to be. to be. the biggest. the biggest. thaghapest. thaguan. theathea. to. the to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've. I've. I've. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I'm. I'm to. to. treeeeean. true. true. to. true. to. true. to. to. to. to. thee. I've. I've. I've th. me watch the horror film The Fog. They initially said no as it would scare me too much. After many minutes of nagging and promising I wouldn't be scared and would go to bed just fine, my parents gave in.

Which is a bad movie. You shouldn't let a six-year-old watch the fog. I was absolutely terrified and that night decided I needed to sleep in with my older sister. Not long after going to bed, I shook my sister awake as I was convinced the fog was seeping under the bedroom door. We kept watching this, and indeed the fog was coming through the bottom of the door, screaming and crying. Eventually, we heard the noise of laughter coming from the landing. At the time, my parents were both smokers. Yes, you guessed it. No, no, no, no, no. They they they they they they they were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. We they were. We they were. We the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tho. tho. tho tho tho thog the thog tho thog th tho thog tho tho tho thog tho the tho the the the the the the time my parents were both smokers. Yes, you guessed it. No, no, no, no, no. They were frantically blowing cigarette smoke under the bedroom door.

Fuckin' out, which is bad in itself. To prove to me that they were right and I would be scared. Oh my God. Thanks for all the laughs, Vanessa Pesaro. That was incredible. And I get worried that I may be laying with one daughter longer than the other. Here we go Josh, well let's leave on this. Okay. Hi both. Love the podcast.

It really helped me through some hard times in lockdown having a one and two-year-old at the start of it. Blimey, Blamey. Blahmowdy, this is from Ben Helping. Here are some questions I was asked during my a vasectomy, something that we're thinking about. Not as to get as a couple. Are you genuinely thinking about it, Rob? Uh, yeah, potentially. You've got to do it, Rob. It's good content for the podcast.

You get your dick snipped first then, and then I'll do it. Why, we don't want to get my dick snipped? You want another good, mate, mate. See if th. This is what they were asked, this is what Ben was asked at the appointment. What happens if your kids die? Which I think is quite an open question. Fucking out. I'm not in the mood for shagging would be my answer. Oh God, I know. I mean, what happens if your kids die?

If they did, the last thing I'd be thinking about is when we can have more. Yeah, exactly. I would tho with the grief, really. I wouldn't go, oh, I regret that vasectomy. That would be so low on my list of concerns. Oh, and I've only got a bloody vasectomy. It never rains bit in pores, does it? To think I got my dick snip last week. What are the chances? There are you asked three times, are you being forced to do this? That's like when you put a big amount of money through my NetWest app, and it asks me if...

You have to go into the bank to go. I need to try some big amount. It's a big load. What happens if you get divorced? I've asked you that already. He's not done a the app and he's going to bring up Mandy Moore into his plan. Well I've th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th he th th th. I th. I thus thus. I've thus. I've that that thatheat that that thatheatheat. I've that. I've that that that that that that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I have that. I have that. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. He was th. He was th. He th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was thi. He was thi. I was thi. I've thi. I'm that that that that that that thateea. I'm thatea. I've thatea. I've thatea. I've up Mandy Moore a vasectomy chat. Well I've been thinking about Mandy Moore actually. Always been a big fan of hers. That's the plan and then we'll go from there. Then this is what he was told as well. After the operation, please ejaculate 20 times in three months after the operation.

I think that's doable. We have that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's doable. We have that with the with our water filter in the fridge water filter. No I don't filter my semen I just have it straight. Sometimes it is soda stream. When we do our when we put a new filter in the fridge you have to put 20 points of water through it before you can drink it. Oh really? So obviously it's the same as a dick. 20 times, ejaculating 20 times in three months after the operation. the operation. the operation. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. that's. that's the. the. that's thee. thee. theee. thee. the. the. thee. the. the. the. ejaculating 20 times in three months after the operation. If as long as you can do that solo, I think that's manageable. Yeah. My question would be, how many ejaculations is too many, straight off the. My concerns is over-ejaculating, rather and under. I don't think I'm going to go under number. So this person...

He's absolutely exhausted. Fucking pop on it right out. So in the next three months you're gonna need to do 400 ejaculations, that's just the way, otherwise your balls are gonna fall off. So I'm just telling you this now, okay? So 90 days, 400 divided by 90 days, right? Yeah, so it's about four and a half a day. That'd be four weeks a day. You go four a day or you're gonna try and do 10 in a day so you can have a day off. Do you know what I mean?

Like, well it's four every day. You're not gonna do eight in a day for a day for a day or. Oh no, I suppose not. Four months a day. That'd be awful. I'd say an alarm and do one. I'd say an alarm and do one do one do one do one do one do one do one do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do th. Do th. Do th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho tho tho tho. Do tho tho. Do tho. Do tho tho. Got to do it with food though. Got to do it with food. Yeah, dude, I ejaculate on an empty stomach. Don't want to tell you. Make sure it's a full one. Yeah. Right, okay. Let's do some small business shout out. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hi there. Love the show ofs. Oves. business a shout-out. I deliver art parties to kids in Gloucestershire. I bring the part-arty and there is art in capitals and we all make art perfect for letting the kids make a mess while the parents have a G&T slash home brew cider and I clear everything away like nothing ever happened loads of love Maddie and that's art parties UK on Instagram so art Art A-R-T P-A-R-T I-E-S UK on Instagram if you're in Gloucestershire and you want an art party.

Loving the Pod been a huge fan since the first episode. Use Rob's Pomp-Jart idea for my children which has been a game changer. I would love you to give a shout out to my sister's small business which started when she had twin girls. The business is called Bibbidoo, B-I-B-A-D-O. The Bibbidoo cover all is a weaning bib which catches the mess the little ones inevitably make when learning how to eat. It attaches to the high chair so stops all the food from going on the lap floor which results in an outfit change and a major cleanup operation, which Lesby Fair can be a bloody nightmare.

It was invented from a chopped up umbrella. She finally got the business off the ground. This is like something from Dragon's Den, isn't it? I'd really appreciate a shout-out. She's worked really hard, especially in lockdown. All her nieces and nephews have been her guinebids to test out her various designs. This is great. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook Bibbidoo Bibbidoo Wwwdo.co. UK. Thanks very much. Mandy Moore. I should add it's lose pom-pom jar, not mine. I can't take it worry for that. Josh I will see you.

That's Kath in Cardiff by the way. Oh thanks Kathif all the best. I'll see you I'll see you. I, that's Kathin Cardiff, by the way. Oh, thanks, Kaff in Cardiff. All the best. I'll see you. I think we're going to have a slight week off with a couple of Best of episodes and I'll see you back. Best of episodes. So that'll actually be better than what you're listening to now, if that's believable. 2023 we've got big plans we've got big plans. Oh big plans coming your way the life tour. We've got some very exciting plans for 2023. Right see you in 2023 thank you very much.