Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP5: "This is no way for us to live, Rob..."

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

S05 EP5: "This is no way for us to live, Rob..."More misadventures in parenting (and beyond)...Please rate and leave a review Thanks Rob + Josh (and Michael) If you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... [e-mail]'s it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: [e-mail]: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,

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Join for just $4.99 a month. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Can you say Rob Beckett? Dad, Cuckett. And Josh Whitacom. That's good. That's good. Oh, lovely stuff. That's Americaner again, Josh. Yeah, we're big in the stateside. Hi there.

Love the podcast and hearing your trials and tribulations of parents. This is my daughter Julia age two. She was born in March 2020, just four days before lockdown started. Fucking out. Both sets our parents flew up from, do I say that out loud? I think. I think we're trying to swear less of this podcast. Well I am. Oh we are. Well I am, I swear too much I too much I to try too. Yeah. Yeah, when when when when when when. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their the their their to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. to. F. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t word and there was 61 of them. 61 F's, how many did we take it down to? I don't know. I regret I didn't do another 8 so it was 69 it started on the F's. Both said to our parents flew up from Bermuda to help out and got stuck with us for six

months. Oh you'd be livid! Where do they live? Where are these people from? They are in Cambridge, Massachusetts. No offence Cambridge, Massachusetts, but there's no Bermuda, is it? No. We're both born in Bermuda and moved to Boston 10 years ago. Anna, Paul and Julia. There's that Julia, was that Julia took the baby Julia? Yes. Quite a grown-up name for for a baby Julia, isn't it? There's a Julia at my daughter's nursery as well. She is, I would say this, at least five foot at the age of three. One of the tallest children I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, but that's hard to judge, because you still think you're five at six and a half actually. I don't want to quibble. There's no way you're bigger in Deck.

Well, we'll never know, will we? Well, you must have met him, have you met Deck? Yeah, but I didn't stand back to back with him. Oh, if I was out, I'd a major do that. Yeah, I know, and that's a relief for all three parties. How are you? You sound in so annoyed when we started this and I'm quite excited. I'm just fucked off this morning. Well, you text me, right? Oh, you know, I've been looking after my son a lot this week and he's not done anything.

I'm a bit worried. There's no anecdotes. All I've got is emotion. At 8.38, you went, I've been looking after you all week, but I've got no anecdotes really, I've done, I've done, I've done, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I'm not, I'm to, I'm to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, to.a, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toed, I'm to, I'm to, I'm anecdote, no, 838, you went, I've been looking after him all week, but I've got no anecdotes really, he's not done anything. And then at 9 a.m. just changing a napy, this morning has gone bad, so got loads of stuff now. So what's happening in 20 minutes? It's not, it's not anecdote, it's just emotion.

Do you know, there's not like, thing that happened. You're just following... So you're not stepping in dog poo, your life is dog poo? You're just four, you're just, you know, six inches behind a 14-month-old as he walks around a room trying to make sure he doesn't fall over and hurt himself for 12 hours a day. So what happened this morning? So what happened this morning? What's what is the emotion? You know you haven't got emotion? What's the emotion just tired the the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th is just th is just th is just th is th is th is thi? You're just th is just th is just th is just th is? You's th is th is? You's th is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th th. th th. You thi? You're thi? You're just just thi that that that that that thi thou? You're just just thou? You're just that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi.'s what is the emotion? You know, you haven't got anecdotes, you just got emotion. What's the emotion just times? You know, when people go, I don't know if you remember this stage, Rob, when you've got like a kind of one-year-old, basically.

But like, at the last leg on Friday, people, you know, I can't remember if I was talking to they, they were like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, what, what, like, what, what I was like, like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, like, what, what, what, I was like, what, I was. they. they. they. they. they. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, I was. What, I was. What, I was... What, I was........ What, I was.... What, I was.. to, I was. to, I was. to, I was. to, I was. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. the to me. the the to me. the the to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. no, no, they'll be like, oh, that's good because it'll be nice to have a break and you're like, are you fucking kidding me? Like this, this is the opposite of a break. The last leg is the break. Yeah, well do you know what? We finished, I had all my stuff ready by 805 on Friday and that wasvision show. And I was during makeup at 845, so 40 minute gap. Do you have makeup on that show? Yeah, Brook has got all his limbs normally. You don't have to airbrush them out. They do an incredible job. But you know, he's got a career out of it, so why not?

He shuffles around. You know, like people didn't realize Keith Lemon was a character. He sort of has to hide in the shadows with all his limbs. Yeah, yeah, exactly. In case someone spots in. But you're just, so yesterday, so I got back from the last leg at one, because Hammersmith is so fucking far from Victoria Park. Like... He's mad it's the same city, isn't it? Yeah.

You're like, so I've finished the show, you get off the studio floor maybe 11.15, and you have a couple of drinks and you're like, fucking how it's midnight. And now I've got a car journey of over an hour. So you get home at one, wake up, the one ray of sunshine in this is... What time are you waking up?

What's the fucking incredible at the moment, Rob? Really, what you're dealing with? Come and brag. It's time to brag. Uh, this morning, 815. Yeah. To non-parents, that is still horrible, but to parents, that is the golden't. He wakes up and he just potters in his cart. Potters is that what? A bit of gardening reads a paper. He smokes his pipe. Does this does his receipts?

Just potter and just so he's got some books in there and he's got like a couple of toys that we leave in there and he just potters. Yeah, oh that's good. So he wakes up a quarter-past out and then just sits there reading his quarter. Quarter-poster maybe, sevenish and he just sits. He sits out, he potters for an hour. That's good. Yeah, I know, he's a lot. Yeah, the cotter.

He's not, son but a little guy little guy but then so yesterday get up and then you're just parenting from the off we had to get in the car because we're going to my wife's dad in where's that place near Brighton Lewis yeah okay I'll see when to Louis for the day with the kids yeah so that's driving to Lewis yeah from 10 a.m to 12 for the day with the kids. Yeah, so that's driving to Lewis. Yeah from 10 a.m. till two, 10 a.m. to 12 is the drive. Yep. He doesn't like the car seat. So he's the only baby in history who's more stressed in a car seat. He's actually a very, quite a chilled out baby normally. He's quite a chilled out guy and then you get him in a car and then you get him in a car and the the the he. And then and then and then and then. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he the their. And he their. And he their. their. their their their their their their their their he. He's he he's he he to get him. He's he. He's a to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to he's a to to he's a to like to like he's he's he's he's to to like. He's to to to like. He's to to to like. He's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the car. He. He's. He's. He's a the the the the t. He's the. He's the. He's thea. He's thea. He's to to to to to to to to to to to to to's just screaming the whole way. Yeah, then he fell asleep for 45 minutes,

meaning that when we got there, he wasn't gonna have a nap. So that was my 45 minute break was driving to Lewis. Yep, sure. Look after him and my daughter all afternoon, you know, because there's... How does she get a bit jealous of the attention? thiii, thiii, that that that that that that that that that that that that's, that's, th, th, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that was, that's that's that's that's that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, so, so, so, so, so, so that was, so that was, so that was, so that was, that was, that was that was that, that, that, that, that...... that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that was, that was that. that them and they're now. No, she doesn't, but you know the worst thing is I just feel huge guilt That you just end up prioritizing him and letting her watch, you know

You know, I mean like and and so you you feel like you're not giving her great parenting? Does that make sense? And then you're just and then back in the car and then we got back last night to 730 and she'd fallen asleep in the car, so she didn't? to?? the the the to? the the the the the the their? their? their? their? their? their. their. their. their. to their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to their. to to their that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. their their t. too. too. too. too. too. I too. I too. I just, too. I just, too. I just, try. I's too. I just, t make sense? And then you're just, and then back in the car and then we got back last night at 7.30 and she'd fallen asleep in the car so she didn't go to sleep until 9.15. Yeah, and so at 9.15 you're like, this is the first time, it's the first time I can just look blankly at my phone. Well, you've been working a lot in the week, haven't you as well? And, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, th, th, to thi, the, to to to, to, to, to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they's, they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's to to to to they's to the a lot in the week haven't you as well? And parent like so you're working parenting, working your parenting, working your parenting, working your parenting. There's no other moment. What is the other? I don't get where the gaps are. There are bedtime? Yeah that's so did a quarter past nine last night. And then we looked at our phone because our TV broke five weeks ago and we haven't got around to fixing it. So we haven't got any channels or reception.

Well, surely that can be fixed. Yeah, but when have you booked time off? When have you booked time off? What without children? 2024? No, but with children, when are you not working so you could just... Because when you're not working and you are with a kid, there is, you do find time because you're not scurrying from one thing to the other. I am scurrying from, I'm scurrying from one of the child to the other. I can't I'm scurrying from one of the wires. I'm the the the the the the to the to do. I'm to do. I'm the to do. I'm the the to keep. I. I'm to keep. I'm to keep. I'm to keep. I'm to keep. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm to get. I can't. I'm not. I can't to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the kids. I can't. I can't. I can't. I. I. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm the the the the the the the toda. the the today. the today. the toldlde. to, because I haven't got a chance to look at it. I think it's one of the wires or something.

One of the wires, okay. Have you got Sky or Virgin? What's the problem? Sky? So is it all plugged in? Yeah. And I was like, you know. Have you to ring Sky? Because to ring Sky you have to have at least at at at at at at at at at the the to have to have the to have to have to have the to have to have the to have the to have to have to have the the to have to have to have at to have at to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their.. their. their. theirse. theirse. the the the tiea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. toooooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. their toe? Because to ring Sky you have to have at least done a

cursory check yourself, otherwise they'll just tell you to do it yourself. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. There's a few things on the website, try this, try this, try this, I haven airpods on. Talk us through your process. We've reached a low if that's happening. All right, so that was yesterday. Then you woke up this morning. We're straight recording a podcast, bang on 9 a.m.

Yeah. What are you doing today then? What's happening? What's the plan with the kids? So we've got my daughter's friends coming around, because it's Sunday this morning that we're recording. We're trying to inspire them to be the next generation of lionesses by watching the England game. I don't think they're going to buy it. Right, okay, so they're coming around to watch it this afternoon.

So they're coming around for the Linesse's, this will go out after the finals. We don't know if England of one- Well done England. Well done. For fuck sake. You're getting that in. Yeah. And I was watching it because Lou was away last week. Because I was supposed to be in Sri Lanka this week filming, but we couldn't go to Shranker because we're not allowed to travel there from the British government. So we were filming in London but Lou had already booked centre parks for her mom and dad because she didn't want to be indoors with the kids

for seven days on her own. So I was watching the Lionesses and I text him and I text him and you're watching it? She was like watching what? I was like the football? It's the semi-final of the women's well, is it? I'm doing my bit. Is it? I'm like I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, tie, tie, tie-s, tie-s, tie-s, tie-s, tie-s, th-s, put a bit of a fucking shift in, will you? I'm doing my bit here. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, how are you supposed to inspire the next generation of young women if their thoan's watching it? Well, I've put the pressure on now.

There's a lot on my daughter. I don't think she realizes how long a football match is. Also, the good thing is, there's a decent money in football were women's football at the moment, but when, you know, another 10, 15 years, if they win this, then we could retire early if they, if they, if they get the call up. Exactly. Exactly. This episode is brought to you by Nesprasso.

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It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit Amex. Cinellas, we'll be back. to Amex. Sinem. So we'll be back. I'm going to make them watch football. Because they do watch sometimes when I watch basketball and football the girls do go why is it all boys why is it all boys why is it all boys because it's not as much women's football on the tele but I think it's been really good but do you know what I like about it so the to they they's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women women's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the support has been there so it's been amazing. It looks like an event you take your kids to, don't it? Yeah. So yeah, we're excited about that. So that would be nice, you can just chill out and watch that.

Well, you're gonna watch it on, you ain't got a tellie. It's what? You ain't got a tele? Oh, fuck, I've just realized, because that's a different TV. Well, that, hopefully, because that's a different TV. You got a TV in the garden? In the shed. Oh, right, so you're gonna sit in the shed or watch it? No, no, you put it in the the shed,

so the shed's like a different TV, it'll be fine. Are you watching it through Sky? No, just through the TV-free view thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. Anything else been happening this week, Josh? You want to get off your chest? So that's been my life. I'm getting nervous about school. Do you know what? I have sensed a slight creeping anxiety in you in the last couple weeks I didn't have this because you're busy with work but there's a big change coming isn't there? It's five weeks I can't fucking believe it. So your daughter's starting reception at a new school. Do you I think it's actually harder because your girls in the nursery

and then she's gonna leave and go straight into the school sort of like over the weekend because she hasn't broken up for summer. You're not giving you much time to process it, are you? Because it's all normal still, like it has been. Yeah, but I think the other argument I suppose is that you don't want this big weight and buildup, do you know what I mean? oh no, thi thiiii..... th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's not tho-you're not tho-a, thi, thi, tho-a, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not tho, you're not th. th. they, you're not, you're not they, you're not want, because when she misses nursery for a few days, it's really difficult to get her to go back to nursery, if that makes sense. Right, she gets out of the habit., we've got to do that. That's when your head goes. Yeah, well, before, would you do that before after fixing the TV?

It's a difficult call, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, I'd fix a tele first. You got a few weeks for the uniform. But, yeah, when do you go, when do you go then? When you go to go to a shop, the shop, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tap?, tapher?-a, ta, too, ta, ta, ta?-a?-a, ta., ta., ta., ta.fa.fa.fa.a.fa. ta? It's, ta, online? I don't know, how you buy the uniform? Well, no, you go. I haven't even looked into it, Rob. Oh God, I'm going on the website now. Okay, I'm gonna, yeah, no, so there's school, so sometimes at the school,

they have second-hand uniform sales, and thenousers elsewhere. Bloody out, there's loads of it. But you might want to go to a shop so you can work out what size they are. That's why I said fitting. I'm not like, some of the wedding shop, you're not going to get like all the grandparents there clapping as she walks out. But it's just so you get an idea to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the idea to get the idea to get to get an idea to get to get an idea to get an idea to to to to their their their their their their to to to get an idea of their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. the the thi thi. thi. thea. thease thease th uniform. It's absolutely mental. Polo shirt, shirt, blouse, v-neck jumper, cardigan, pin a four, what even is that? Skirt, girls' trousers, boys' trousers, shoes.

What's the difference between girls and boys? I don't know. I tell you what the difference is, five quid in the wrong direction. Why are girls paying five quid more for trousers than boys! What's going on there? When I was at, when I was at school and same for my daughter, he's like, I used to have like a white polo shirt with like trousers and shoes that you could buy from anywhere but then you sort of had to buy like the jump part. Yeah, yeah, that's basically what's going on here I that the school on it all of the same color, in it...... Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because, because. Because, because. Because, because. Because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the school on it all of the same color, isn't it? But I'm going to be honest with you, Rob, you know me, I am not going to shop around to a second website. It's all available and one click. It's really expensive, Rob. No one told me. Thank God for this podcast. Making my money back. I tell you what though, they do, our school does a really good second-hand uniform sale because what it is loads of loads their thiiiiiii, loads their, loads th. th. thi, loads th, loads of loads of thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and to thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, and, thable, and, thable, and, and, th. th is all, and, and, and th. th is all, th is all all all all all, and thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, and thi, thi, thi,, bought a jumper, the wrong size that's basically been never worn.

Especially, I tell you what's really good at the secondhand shop at the school is always stuff like the niche stuff, like summer hat. Remember at my school, when in my secondary school, we had to have goggles and a lab coat for science. I don't remember wearing that lab coat. We didn't have to have a, we used to have to have a that, have a, have a, have a, have a, have a, have a, have a, have, have, have, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, to have, to have, to have, to have, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.a, they.a, they.a, they.s.s, too.s, toos, too.a, too.a, they.s, they.s, they.a, they.a, they. we used to have to have an apron actually, yeah. Fack here now. We used to have a lab coat. And what am I doing in science? You know, a lab coat.

I'm finding the whole thing very stressful, Rob. Let's break it down. What's stressing you about your daughter starting school? Well, just, you know, she's going somewhere and all her friends, like they're all going to different schools or or, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the to, to, to, to, to, too, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they., they., their, too, they., too, they., they.o, they.o, their, their, their, their, the to the same school but they've been split into different classes, which I'd find even more frustrating. So is anyone going to her school? No. No, okay. But my daughter was the same, there was no one in her school from her nursery. It's good for him, it gives him resilience. It's more my issue than her, Rob, I'm fully aware of that. Yeah, of course. I think you just, it's good for them, it's them, it's them, it's them, it's them, it's them, it's them, it's their their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, th.. It's th. It's tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. It's thi. thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thin, thr. the. to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. toe. the. the. no of course. I think you just it's good for them to if I think I I think sometimes if you're a kid that just does the same thing all

that you want to move them about all the time but if you're if any for anyone if anything's too safe it's not good for you. There's that David Bowie quote isn't it about like when you're like out swimming you're touch the bottom, that's when something good happens. Yeah. Because if you're too far out, it's too much. But if you're too close to shore, it's too safe and nothing exciting happens, does it? Yeah. Do we know what school he sent his son to? What's Zowie Bowie? I mean, he's, I mean, Zahewa Bowie, touching the floor. Yeah he is in the deep dive old Zowie Bowie. David's not

giving him a fucking hope. He's launched him in a music school. Oh I'm Zowie Bowie. Who's your dad then? Oh he's changed his name. He's changed his name. He's Duncan Jones now. Duncan Jones yeah he's a film director. All right yeah yeah fair enough. He's changed his name to Duncan. Talk about going too far the other way. His feet are really touching the bottle. He's in a fucking puddle. He's got his wellies on up to his legs and a two-inch puddle to his legs. Go ahead, Big Dunk. Go for you. This is how worried I'm about. So it's just, you know, it's a big change, isn't it? Yes. And so what happens is my friend, her sons, left this school in year six and she sent

me the bloody video they'd made. So they did a video of all the class. It's genuinely, I couldn't get through it for crying, Rob. They made me too much. But they're not your kids? They're not my kids. I don't know any of the kids. Yeah? So I'll just send it to you. I've watched this. I don't mean...

Should we really be sharing videos of children we don't know? Well, I'm not putting it on our Instagram. that's fair enough enough. I trust you Rob. If I didn't trust you at this stage, I wouldn't have started a parenting podcast with you two and a half years ago. The video, the Leavers video. Yeah, so it's like the Leavers video. It's like the Leavours and the their first half's in Tuesday. Oh, that's nice. Because they all just talk about air, they're their.

It's East London, Rob. It's East London, mate. Oh, they're cute. But anyway, if you watch it from the second half, where it's, I reckon I've watched it now, 12 times and every time I cry. Really, I think you're stressed at the moment. This is too fucking right I am. So you watch his video and you got upset a number of times. It is cute, it's nice. So that's where I am in my life. You need a bit of

time off mate. Yeah I know. When is your next bit of time off? From work and child? No, just from work. to today. Yes today. That's the time the time the time the time the time the time the time time time time the time time time time time time the time time. the time the time time. time. the time the time the time time. the time the time the time time. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. time. th. the the the the today. That's the time off from work. Yeah, but I'm suggesting if you wasn't working as much, you wouldn't be as stressed by your kids because there's... Well, the rest of my year is much easier. It's much easier. Oh, that's good. I just think you need to that to affect the diary because there's still all this stuff in from before. Your decision? Your decision? You know? Sleeping

over at Alton's house of Alex Brooker and Rochey and Connolly can't help. It's too tiring Rob. Rob. Rob, last week, I just, I'm just tired. Yeah. I genuinely have made the decision. I haven't taken any new work on in about six weeks. Okay. And it feels glorious. Well, that's the thing, when you're self-employed there is a bit of a pressure to

I've got to do this, got to do that. I think you've earned a position where you can't be a bit a bit a bit more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more the position the position more the position the position then you'll enjoy spending time with them and it won't be that, oh, I just need I just need time on my own. Because then it all slows down a bit. If you're not, because if you're not too busy, you're not scurrying from one job to the other and it doesn't feel so intense. Yeah, fucking out. Well, I've got this story that I don't make it thrown make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make it make you the that me feel been watching films that are PG on her iPad, not you ones. So she watched this one called Sea Beast. Sea Beast? Right, it's a PG.

So she keeps, we've discovered what's been happening so we've put a stop to it now and we're making sure she's watching age appropriate. Did you say youngest? She's four? Google Seabest. Yeah, when a girl stows away on a ship of legendary sea monster hunter, they launch an epic journey into uncharted waters. Yeah, and they're just like this massive sea beast that's like a hump in a boat. And so she's been watching that, I think she's been having nightmares about this sea I could hear like, from the other room and then the six-year-olds in there crying like a kid from an Enid Blighton book.

Yeah. You know, like, sort of like, proper like Mary Popping Sniveling kid. Yeah. I'm like, you're okay weird upset it's most and also she was slightly getting louder and louder with it when I was in the other room comfort in the younger one so I'm like she just jealous I want to be a so go so so I'm like I think she's thinking of a reason you think she's oh really but she's not actually upset she wants attention oh that's

but then she said oh I'm really upset because a girl from her school is leaving and she's not she's leaving year one and we're going into year two and that thi to thin the to the the the that the the the the the the the going to be in year two. Basically I think her parents are moving away so she's moving school and she's leaving and I really like her but I never got to tell her and I'm going to miss her. Oh this is too heartbroken. And I'm like oh my god and she's like proper like hmm but I was like and I was like and I obviously don't worry and try to come down down and be nice but the back of my mind mind th don't th don't to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tell. tell. tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell her tell her tell tell tell her tell tell tell tell to to to to to to to to think she actually cares. I don't think she gives her shit. I think she likes this girl, but I think... She will not remember you in 12 months, mate. Is that what I should have said to that? Yeah. People move, things come and go. You wait until you fall in love with someone and they break your heart. That's coming. When she's an adult, you'll bump into her and she won't know who the f f f f f f f f f I th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not th. She's th. She's th. She's thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not th. She will th. She will th. She will th. She will th. She will th. She will th. She will th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin. I thin. I thin. I'll thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not thi will not know who the fuck you are. I do sometimes say to go, look, I've got loads of friends that I don't see anymore.

You know what, sometimes it's for the better? Chop out the fucking dead wood here, mate. Well to calm her down, I said, well tell you what we'll do is, why don't you write a message for her now, and really like you and I'll miss you in year two hopefully see you soon name and a kiss and I've put that in my notes so that in the morning I can send that to her she's woke up she's had a bagel yeah and some fruit not mentioned it I think she's forgotten what she pretended to be upset about yeah you should force her to send the message That message is such a humiliating embarrassing thing to have to send if you're not that into the friend

Suddenly you're stuck with them then. Yeah, I know and all of a sudden We were arranging play dates with this girl that she doesn't really like that much But just had to invent it because you had something she needed to get attention away from her sister Oh, well, this is a bit annoying for us this week and the egg situation because I told you my kids got into eggs in Greece did I tell you that? No. Well basically they don't eat fried eggs in this country in Greece on holiday, add a fried egg at the buffet every day only at the yolk, don't eat the white, and then because in this country they like bored eggs but they only eat the white and not the oak. Right yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the egg. the egg. the the egg. Wea. the egg. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. I I is the. I is the. Wea. I's is the.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea. thea. they only eat the white and not the oak. Right, yeah. So that's the situation we're out at the moment where if it's fried day at the

middle if it's boiled date at the outside but never never never never both. You know when you tell me to stop being the prison bitch? Yeah. Well no I'm not picking it off from them I give the egg I let them do it. But I just don't get they their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. I let them do it. But I just don't get their process, do you? No, no. And they call fried eggs Greek eggs now. Do they? And so what's, sorry, I feel like I'm in a fucking logic problem. What's the score with an omelet?

They don't eat omelets. They don't eat omelets. Don't you dare mix. I I I I I I I I I I I they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. I they're they're th. I th. I th. I thoom. I they're thoom. I th. I thoomere. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I they're. I they're. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I tho. I tho. I thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. I thooooooes. I they're they're they keep it separate mate. Don't you dare mix. Don't you dare, do it? Do that? Fuck, yeah now. Jesus, sorry, I should stop. Sorry, I guess. I need to tell you what I had for dinner last night. I was working loads and I'd come home and Lewood cooked some sausages right and she ate one. the sausage, theymea thooo' the th and th and th's had th's had had had had had had had had had had had had had had the just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just had had thedededededededededededededededededededededededededededed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed thed themed themed their their theired theired theired their theired their sacked. their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. thedededededededededededededededededededededededededededededededededed. the. the. theated. toed. toed. toed. toed. toed. theated. toed. theated. theated. theated. theated. theated. theated. thea. thed. thed. then she left two on the side for me, came in and I was starving so I made a sandwich and I put my two sausages in. And then there was another spare sausage on the side that Lou didn't want, put that in and then they didn't eat their dinner so they left their sausages, I'll put them in. I ate five sausage sandwich.

What? But it was just going to get so fat. This was health week or whatever last time I spoke. This was a week when Rob Beckett was changing for the better. We're in a vest and suddenly he had a five sausage sandwich. To be fair, I did do a lot of exercise last week, but also, all I did, I ate more sausages and I did exercise sessions. It is the kind of thing you'd that like someone who's trying to build up would eat. I just I think I've accepted that I'm never going to be lean. I'm just going to have to be a just absolute beast, a big power beast. Yeah, yeah, of course. Have you ever listened to that meme of that bloke who's trying to get bode. I'm going to stop stop stop stop stop stop to to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop their. And he. And he. And he to stop to stop to stop to stop to to to to their to to be thapap. thap. thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' the thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be lean to be lean to be lean to be lean to be lean to be lean to be lean to be lean to be lean. to be lean. thin' thin' thin' thin' te. te. teannenenea' teannea'-lienienn'-a'-a'n'n'n'n'en'en' thin' get healthy? And then we try and find it. So how many pieces of bread are you having in your five sausage sandwich?

I know I had it in a pitter. So that the bread to sausage ratio is absolutely fft there, Rob. Massif, it's just pure sausage really. Yeah, did you have any sauce? Yeah, English mustard and tomato sauce with a bit of cheese with a bit of cheese on. Fah! Bloody Elro! What a dinner! I like the fact you started with English mustard and I thought, oh that's fair enough and then it just carried on and it carried... And jam on top. Listen to this, this is a bloke who's trying to get healthy.

He's unemployed and has plenty of time to train for the my fish for me, uh, 12 o'clock meal. I'll have it with a rice cake. In the run-up to any competition, Danny's trainer puts him on a strict diet. 8 o'clock in the morning I'll have fish and a rice cake. At 10 o'clock, I'll have fish. At 12 o'clock I'll have fish and a rice cake. At 2 o'clock I'll have fish at 4 o'clock just before I train. I'll have fish and a rice cake.

I'll train. I'll have my fish. I'll come home, have some more fish with a rice cake, then have some fish for a go to bed. He's got to be task. This can't be real. This can't be real. Who is he? Who is he? Who is he?

What's going on? That was 15 years ago. Now, I saw an article about the fish and rice cake. I think he does came cameos where he says, Gabby birthday, hope you have some fish. Fish on a rice cake. That is incredible. It's great, isn't it? Yeah, so that could be you, Rob. That could be me and one that.

How's been fit by 40 looking or whatever it's called? Not bad, actually. I think, I think next year, but I'm going to go off talk because that's I realize I've spent about four months of the year in hotels. Yeah it's impossible. It's so difficult so I'm trying I'm try my best and I trying to think what else happened last week well because they were away in Centerpast I was at home a lot on my own I know I look I went on Lou's Instagram yeah I look I went on Lou's now Josh he's gonna be an influence. It was like your daughter's doing like go go a clip and climb stuff they did jet skis they did all sorts and I was like Rob didn't tell me he was at center parks I think wait an F a minute he's not he's at home this is all going over there absolutely what a winner I know they'll go on Instagram is you and rummish in a fucking car smiling away! the day after you've already this thirty they- th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their the the ty. ty. they. they're they. they're they. they're they. they're they. they're they're they're they're they're they're winner! I know, they'll go on Instagram, it's you and Romesh and a fucking card, smiling away.

A day after you've already just recorded a podcast with me and Romish, you've had the week from heaven, mate. Well, the, this is the problem. Talk to me about your sleep. Well, no, this is the problem. There's a dog in the house, isn't there? No normally normally normally normally normally th normally th normally th normally tho, tho, th? Normally does the dog stuff so I'm up at seven with a dog. Well dog... Your kid sleeps in longer than the dog and he's as a teenager stage as of a dog which means he's a complete prick. Oh man. So they kick off like you know children like humans they go through an adolescence and the regression

and so this dog started refusing to go into his bed at night. Oh my God. So I let him out and then he started running around howling at the foxes. Then he started chewing the door and then he pissed on the floor. Oh my God. Because he won't piss in his bed. So I've got a little crater put him in.

And he goes in there they'll let him out for a wee in the morning. He's been howling all night because he's all confused because Lou and the kids ain't here and also I don't give him as much attention as the kids and there. I gave him a thumbs up the other night. I don't know why I did it he just looked at me and I was like oh right something you know one second I'm just doing a podcast okay is that the dog no she's just my eldest do to say to say to say to say to say to say to say the to say the the the to say the the to say the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I'm just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th is th is to. I to. I to. I tea. I tea. to. I te' to. I to. I theeee' the the the the the Is that the dog? No, she's my eldest. Do you want to say hello? Show her hello. Hello. Okay, right, can I finish doing the podcast please? You gotta give me a hug? Anything you want to say to the world? No, right, bye. Okay, can you shut the door? Yeah, that's how they shut the door. It's a sliding garden door. Just put your hands on the glass and th. th. th.. Do your kids do that? I don't think we've got a sliding garden door. Yeah, so the dog, so the dog's pissing and it's howling and it's howling and... This is no way for us to live, Rob. So I'm getting up at 7, I was getting up at 7pm with, and then, because I was getting him up at 7, I was walking him at half 7 to tire him out because I was

going out like, I went out to do some filming, come back, fed him, out to do some filming and stuff like that. So on Friday, 7.30 a.m. I was getting picked up for filming on Friday, I took a dog at 6 a.m. I took a dog at 6 a.m. I was going to find a dog. I tho' th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do come come come to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come. I'm come. I'm come. I'm to do. I'm to do. I'm to do. I to do. I to to to to to to to to to to to do. I to to to to do. I to do. I to do. I to do. I to do. I to do. I to do. I to do some. I to do some. I to do some. I to to to do to to do to do some. I to do to do to do to do. I to do? I was like, no. But 6 a.m. on a Friday morning, I'm walking a dog. And Lou come back and goes like, oh, how was the rest away from the kids? I'm like, are you mental? This dog's a lunatic? Oh God, the youngest is coming in now. The youngest is coming in now.

What do you want and say something to... Come here, quickly. What do you want to say, because I've got to finish doing this. What do you want to say to the world? Hello. Okay, right. Off you go, bye now. that couldn't display their personalities more. One just said, no, I don't want to say anything to the world. And the other one said, off you go. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say, to say, to the to say, the the to say, to say, the to say, the the to say, to say, the to say, the to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, okay. to say, okay. to say, okay. to say, off. to say, off. to say, off. to say, off. to say, off. to say, off. to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the world, the the tooome. too, minute. We'll go to the cinema. All right, okay, there we're sorry about that Josh. That's right. Because when I saw Lou's Instagram I thought Rob is having the week of his life here. I thought I was gonna and I was a

I was already to tell you how amazed my week was but actually it was a. The problem with the dog. dog is the problem with the dog owner. The dog is, the is, the, the, the, the, the, the, the dog is, the dog is, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, th is, th is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I the dog, I the the the the the the the thog, the the the tho, I's, I's, I the tho- is, I the the tho- is, I tho, I tho, I, right, is that they are toddlers forever. Rob, you've just said I understand our dog owners feel. You're a dog owner? I'm not, I'm a man of a dog, it's different. I'm not a dog dad. I'm a broke with a dog. Lou owns the dog. I just live with it. Yeah, we're just in the same house.

How much do you think you bonded bonded with the dog, realistically? I don't know, I mean, maybe it's because deep down I'm a narcissist, that's what I do, isn't it? That's our job, so you have to be slightly mentholmed it. I like them. Like, I like them. I like the dog. I love having the dog. Yeah, but Rose's relationship with the cat. Every morning I wake up and the cat. the cat comes in, so Rose is asleep on her front, and the cat is asleep on Rose's back. Like it's pinning her down like a WWM.

I would go mental if there was a cat or dog on my back. Get off, get out! Oh, I'm not, I loved having a dog. He's great, I need, he's a family dog. When they went, I was like, if I was like, if I was th if I, if I, if I was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, if I was thi, if I was thi, if I was thi, if I was thi, if I was th th th th th th th th to to that, if I was asleep, if I was to to to to to th th th that, is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is asleep, is asleep, is asleep, is asleep, is asleep, is asleep, is asleep, if I was asleep, if I was asleep, if I was asleep, if I was asleep, if I was thi, if I was thi, if I was that, if I was that, if I was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th he's a family dog. He's not, when they went, I was like, if I was lived on my own, I wouldn't have a dog. Yeah. Also, it makes you, sat in a house on your own. I love that that's the first reaction. They leave the house to the door close this, and the first thing you think is, I wish I didn't have this dog. I didn't realize that. L. L. L. L. L. L. that. th. L. th. L. L. L. L. L. th. L. th. L. th. L. L. L. th. th. L. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was, I was, I was like, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was I was I was I was I was, I was I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I wish. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th.'t realize that Lou loves the dog the girls like they are like curling up with it on the sofa hello how are you giving him more tech you know I rub his head and that but that's about I was hating for a walk of

rub his head and feeding but beyond that am I bad I can't know you just I think there's always a casual dog owner but. But the cliche is that one of the people in the family wants to get the dog, and then the other people in the family, no, there's another person in the family that doesn't really want the dog. When the dog arrives, actually they fall in love with the dog. No, I'm very much. That hasn't happened. If this dog was the dog, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, th, th, th, thi, thi, if, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the, the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. tho. tho. thooo. thooooooooo. they. they. they. they. the the the the the But I thought I was going to be that dad that turned into... But do you know what, I think I would if I weren't so busy?

But when you're rushing around doing something, there's just a dog looking at you. And they just look at you, they've got the little sad eyes. I'm like, what do Yeah, well that's amazing. And he keeps barking because he's like, wants attention. I don't think I'm giving enough attention in the day. Because normally, there's always someone in the house normally, and I've sort of, it's the first time he's sort of been like a, the dog of an office worker. He's just, not true the door. He chewed. He chewed. He chewed. He's the door. He's the door. He's the door. He's. He's. He's. He's the door. He's. He's the door. He's the door. He's the door. He's not. He's not. He's not the door. He's the door. He's the the th. He's not. He's the the. He's the. He's the. He the. He the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. I I I th. I th. I'. I'. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm theeeee. I'm thee. I'm the only put him in the cage at night time, so we just, because he's quite, he sleeps, he sleeps, he's sleeping on your back. But no, when I go out for like a couple of hours, he's in the house, running around, and

then I've got the garden, I let him in the garden and stuff, but yeah, it's just, he's just, he just, I can't give him what he's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, I, th, th, th, th, th. He, th. He, th. He, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, sleep, sleep, sleep, th, th, th, th, sleep, sleep, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th. S, th. S. S. S. He, th. He, th. He, to, thre. He, to, to, to, to, the. He, the. He, th real housewives of Beverly Hills or something. Like don't beat yourself up about it Rob. Your relationship just doesn't really work with the dog. No, I can't believe I thumbs him up as well. What was that? I was like, you're all right. I felt a bit like, you know, I felt a bit like, you know, I feel a bit, you're a bit, you know, when you start seeing someone and then you go around their their their be your potential brother-in-law. Yeah right. And you've got nothing in common you're like you're all right.

You just sort of like yeah. And then I was like you know but the normal when you get drunk but I can't get pissed of my own house I feel more comfortable next to my dog. Imagine if you got pissed to break the ice with the dog. Before you do it you're kind of rolling around with it on the the sofa on the sofa on the sofa on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. to get. I to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to get. I I I I to get. I to get. I to to to to to the the to the the the the th. I thin. I was. I'm thin. I'm thoes. I'm to to to thoesole. to to to thoooooes. toe. to to th to th th, start getting off of each other, but we never tell our wives. Lou comes back and she's like, you're getting on much better with a dog? What happened? We can't imply that, oh, wait, he's eating so. He's eating so.

Hang on. Hang on. Lou. He's eating something out here. And there's dog poo everywhere as well. I'll th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, eating something out here. Oh, and there's dog poo everywhere as well. I'll try and get it in a minute, but the girls are playing. Fuck it now. Loo's got a blue still recovering from appendix so she can't pick up the dog shit, which I think's a lie

because she picked up that parcel, like no one's business last one. It's like a minefield out there, that garden. Feel like Diana walking through it. Right. You still there? Yeah, I just enjoyed that analogy. Oh my God. It is a weird life we lead, isn't it, Rob? Like when you look at it, for the summer for the kids before they go to, I know she's

in nursery a bit, but you're doing anything when you watch? We've done our holidays outside of summer holiday because we wanted to take advantage. You've got any day trips planned, things, weekends, you go into Lego Land or to the seaside. I'm going to my granddad's 100. Because wethat? We have no things planned because we've been, we've fucking been doing them all the time. We went to Wittsbill, we went to Cornwall, we went to Greece, we went to that place with the wolves, whatever that was called. Like...together, wolves? No, um.

No, the place where... Yeah, like, the tha. Who? Who? The place where you... Portland? Yeah. Like, yeah. So we've kind of top loaded our year. Yeah, you know what I mean? So now you're just grinding it out till we're just grinding it out. Yeah, just desperately scrabbling towards Christmas. In between you having the meltdowns about her starting school.

And she mentioned school? No, she's definitely, you know when people go, they're ready. Do you know what I mean? She's not as into nursery as she was. No, they get a bit bored. She's interested in learning to read and all this. You know, you're like, she's definitely ready. Well, she's not read yet. Well, she's not been to read, ha ha ha. Well, she's going in not been had to read to read. to read? their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to read, to read, to be to be to be to be to be to be to read, to read, to be to be to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to read, to read, to read, to read, to read, to read, to read, to read, to read, to read, to read, their their their their their their their their their the, the. the. theateate. theate. theateate. theate. theateate. they's they're they're they're they're to to to their kids? I know any of them Rob. As I joined up writing? Well, yeah, I'm not... I'm not... I know you are.

I know you are. But it's working. It's still not nice. Yeah, I've just looked at the calendar. She's starting on the same day that my son starts in the nursery. That is going to be an intense whole day. Oh that is, that is going to be. What are you going to do that?

You're going to divide and conquer? I suppose we'll drop him off first. No I think we'll do both at the same time. No, no, because he does, he can't go in late. I think that she's, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. the, is, is. the, is, is, is, is. the, is. the, is. the. the, is. the. the, is. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, is. that, is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is. that is, is. th. th. th needs to be the priority. Yeah. Because if he starts, even if he goes in the second day, you might be easier just to go, I tell you what, well no, because you want, if you want him to start with the other kids, but you might be too young to care. Oh, he's too young to care. But she needs to be worked up by then. You've just got to forget about it till then. There's nothing to do talking about it now, is there, really?

No, I know, but we haven't got much content this week, Rob, so I thought I'm bunch should bring it up. But it's what, you know what, Rob? But it's theyme, so you know, I'm, you're to be, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, th, to to to to to to to to th, to to to th, th, th, to th, to the, to to be, the, to be, Rob? Yeah. I, uh, we've, I don't know. It's fine, it's fine. It'll be fine. Go on. I just, I know, when they leave nursery, Rob,

they do it, they've got a, they've got like a miniature graduation gown. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. And I saw a kid in it once about three years ago, and I thought tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to-a, to-a, to-a. to-a. It's, to-a, to-a, tho.three years ago and I thought that day will never come and it's going to come. Then you're going to see it? I'm not going to be able to deal with it wrong. Something else you do, this is not winding up now, there's something you do need to be, it's a good little tip. There will be children at your kid's school that their parents are quite intense and they will be able to read at a high

level and yeah but they won't be happy and their handwriting will probably be better than yours and you'll go in and you'll be better than mine all right and you'll hear your daughter talk about it and you'll freak out because you're like oh my god my daughter can't do this but basically the first year of school is everyone getting to the same level. Oh yeah. Oh. Oh. the the the first the the the the first. the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Oh. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. te. the. their their the. their their their their their their their their the same level catching up. So don't stress about that. I've met some of those parents, don't worry about that well. You've seen the video of the school, there's some pretty laid-back parents going on. There's boys with long hair, it's a crazy time. It's the fucking 60s in this school. Not in like the way that they don't hit them or anything. Oh God. But right, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they're in they're in they're in they're in they're in they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're they're th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the anything else to, um, to a conglomble.

I've got so, I was just trying to think, my life is of so little consequence at the moment. Like I'm just existing... It's not, you're just existing from time to moment to moment. So Rob, on this weekend thing, what, I want to know what you'd do in this situation. I've got last leg leg like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th l l l like th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I the th. I th. I the. I the. I'm just just the. I the. I'm just the. I the. I the. I'm just just to to to to to to to to to the. I to the. I want to know what you do in this situation. I've got last leg every Friday finishing, you know, at the earliest I can leave is 1115, but then I've got the adrenaline of a live TV show. Yeah, so even if you get home, you're still going to be awake. So you're not really getting, well you could get home at half 12, but maybe you're not getting into half 12 one really to back up. Yeah. What how it just means every weekend starts fucked. Do you know what I mean? Yes. What do I do? Would you would you go straight

home after every last leg? What would your tactic be? My tactic would be make sure I don't do any work at weekends Saturdays, Sundays and I would, what I'd maybe do is potentially try and get Mondays off so that you have a longer weekend and you work quite intently from Tuesday through to Friday. And then... Rob, question, what have you just done to my diary for the next two years? To be fair, we have requested that we record this on a Monday morning? to the today.

And it's gone in, to end of 2023. What about this is what I'd do is I'd do this on a Monday morning, record this on Monday morning, and we've booked that out for nearly two years, but let's not get bogged down like that. And then maybe take your daughter out of nursery and then maybe take your daughter out of the afternoons. And then do and do something nice on an afternoon with their daughter. That's my brain. That's my brain. enjoy your time with your kid Josh I do you don't I do I just need a moment on my own just a moment okay we'll take the afternoon for yourself then oh but then I feel guilty Robb

you know yeah yeah should be spending this, I'm exhausted. Yeah. I'm gonna get through it. It'll be fine. I think you need to find activities you do with your kids that you find relaxing. Now this is serious. I'm genuinely, I don't.

But what I'm saying is like, you've never taken them to the cinema. For some reason. How did she know? She's never been. She keeps turning it down. Yeah, but she's never been. So you take her and then if she don't like it leave, but at least try. I have tried Rob. She didn't want to go. the stuff I do with their their to do with to do with thoomorrow. tho. to got a badge making kit Rob and I'll be honest with you I'm fucking good at making. If you want a badge and you can make your own yeah I can knock your one up in less than a minute. Really? Yeah okay I'm

I'm incredible at crafts. That's your that's your niche is it? Yeah I love it all of that but it's when it's two-on-one one is insane at this age. That's the problem I've that. I I I I I I I I I I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I's the thi. I's thi. I's that's thi. I's that, but it's when it's two on one, Rob. Two on one is insane at this age. That's the problem I've got. When on one on one with either of them, I'm having a great time. When it's two on one or even two, because they're two on two. Because they're the wrong age, you can't do the same thing. So I say that I'll take that's the same the same the same the same their their the same their their their their their their their their their their taken taken taken taken taken taken taken taken toa, I'm taking toa, I'm taking toa, I'll toa, I'll toa, I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to too, I'm thoing thane toa, I, I, I' thane thane toe, I'm toe, I'm toe, I'm toe, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going thin, I'm going. I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, when, I'm tha. I'm thin. I'm going. I'm going tha, I'm going thin, I'm going th because they're four and six. They're both sit there and watch. What am I going to do? What are you going to do with the 14 month? You can't take them in. It's such a difficult age, these two ages together. Because you also, you're going, I'm missing out on this really, like, my daughter's so fun to hang out with. But you're just like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's so difficult. It's so difficult. It's so difficult. It's so difficult. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's so difficult. to to be so difficult. th. th. th. thi. their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's such. It's such. It's such. It's such. It's such. It's such. It's such. It's such such. It's such. It's such such such such a t. It's such such such such a to. It's such such such such a to. It's such've got to just chase them around the kitchen if it's just a three of it. It's so difficult.

Well, how about this? And we made the tips of any, any tips of things you can do with an older child and a younger one. Because there's a park, so with your hands over the 14 month through what the other ones just exactly and you just feel like you're a bad dad to the older ones you know what I mean I know I know you haven't got an option but she'll be like can you come and do this and you're like no because he's climbing the stairs and I'm hunched over behind him to make It's... Oh dear. Anyway, sorry. It's okay, don't be sorry. It's just a very, very difficult age. When does it get easier? Could you put a date on it so I can pop it in my diary?

But genuinely, for when the youngest is four? For fuck sake. So when's that? He was born May 2021. So May 2025? Jeez. thee? May 2025? 21. So May 2025. Geez Louise. May 2025? How? What? No. Surely not. After the next euros? Yeah, between the euros and the World Cup. We're going to have a World Cup and then a Euros. An election, an American election. When's the Olympics? An Olympics, a Paralympics? And then a Euros, an election, an American election. When's the Olympics? An Olympics, a Paralympics, and then it'll be Easy Street. No, it's still tough, to be fair. It's just still as difficult, you're just not hunched over?

Ha ha ha ha. You'll be right, mate. But wicked, all then, should we, we're gonna do some, do you want a quick bit of correspondence or should we save it all for next week? Save it all for next week, we'll do a correspondent special. Yeah, we're gonna do a big correspondent special next week people, because we've been really lax on that for a number of different reasons. Let's do some small business shoutouts so. Oh, God, yeah. This one is for this is a mini arcade systems. Yeah to mini arcade systems dot com and basically what they are

it go on Instagram as well their Instagram's great he builds hand builds it's like a little company in Ireland and he builds retro gaming machines Yeah so it's really good because it's sort of all the old games you might play you for a bit older Oh that's quite a good birthday present but so he does different levels you can get like if you're being fancy he does a mad big one that you'd th th th th you th th th you th you th th th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi the tho tho tho thi the thi tho tho tho th. tho th. th. tho thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the thee theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thooooooooo, if you're being fancy, he does a mad, big one that you'd see in a pub for about three grand. But also what he does is these ones are about 300 quid and they're like little joysticks and buttons that you can plug into your tele and it has 1,300 old school games. And you can play it, and it's really good for kids and stuff so it's quite fun for your kids to play together not on online or on an app or on an iPad and loads of old games and a few new ones and stuff like that

so yeah he's got loads of great stuff. That is good. So yeah it's a small business in Ireland. I must have a full disclosure I did buy one of these systems ages ago and they're really good but we'll do this one and then we'll finish up. This is from Sally, okay? I'm right because I listened to your previous episode with Josh Pugh and found it very relatable. I have multiple sclerosis and I'm partially cited. I have two daughters, parenting with a disability can.

I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear it. Feel very isolating. For this reason, I set up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up an the online their up their up an their up to their up to to to their up to their up to to to to to their to youngest, now six, called Mums Like Us. A network for disabled mothers, it can be found on Facebook where over 1,000 disabled mums provide incredible community and support for each other. It's also on Instagram at Mums like Us. I'm sure if you're a dad, they can let you in as well. I'm sure it's not just women and mums.

It's not technically a small business, but a shout it would be appreciated. Much love, Sally, so that's mums like us. Also as well if you are a parent with a disability, listen to the Alex Brooker episode, that's really good about how the parents and how his disability affects that. So yeah I'm glad we could help and good luck with the businesses. See you later. Bye.