Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S11 Ep32 Advent Calendar Error

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... In this episode we get through some more of your listener correspondence inclusing... - Boarding School Stories - Advent Calendar Fails - First week at Uni issues And some more boomer parenting madness. If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves, and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting,

each week you'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. doing. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with.

Josh Whittiken. Very was-a-up, wasn't it? Was it Harper? Was that Harper 7? Is her name Harper 7 the Beckham's Harper? I think it is. That's mental, isn't it? Is 7 a middle name?

We start calling a Harper Ziggasigar. Yeah. Just something from their career. Oh. Harper, tell me what you want. What you're really, really? I'd never realised why it was 7. Yeah.

Because that was his number. Yeah, it's like calling your kid like, Oh, that's bad. Josh Jr., hashtag, is it okay? Widcom. Oh, come on. That is mad. I tell you what, I think since the royals have calmed down a bit,

now that Andrew's gone and Harry's gone. It's only been two weeks. Yeah, I know, but, I mean, though, there's not much drama at the moment for the papers, is there? It's like the Andrew thing's always sort of ongoing, but he's left now, so you can't really go at the Royals as much. And then Harry and Megan have sort of gone, and they're just boringly getting on with it.

Yeah. still do articles, but there's no actual thing happening. Yeah. It almost feels like the beckhams are the new royals where now the kids are growing up. I've got an interesting parenting question for you, Rob, here. Go on. Because we can't even identify with this, right? Yeah.

Even though we are, not to be naff, we are famous, right? Yes. But our kids exist. It's mental for us to say we wasn't at this stage. But some people too do that, don't that? It would be insane. Yeah, well, you know, you could sound famous. Well, I've done a bit of tell it.

So maybe, but people may know. That's who I am. Awkwardly curled up with cringing, and itching. I think the situation of the Beckham's children is utterly fascinating. And I've been thinking about this this week because I saw a video on,

I'd follow both Beckham's. I don't know which one it was. Well, were they doing KPL, please, or miming? But it was of Cruz playing a gig. Now, Cruz is the front man of a indie band that sound like something that would be played on XFM. Yeah. Sorry, Radio X.

That's not like a qualitative, that's just the genre. That kind of music, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I watched this, and my initial thought was, I think it's a huge disadvantage for him to be Cruz Beckham in that kind of role. I think if it was a pop star or an actor or something, something, but I don't think the kind of people that want to like that kind of band are going to

want it to be fronted by Cruz Beckham. Actually, while I wouldn't have heard of them at all if he wasn't Cruz Beckett. I couldn't work out. Do you think it's an advantage or a disadvantage? Yeah, again, I'm fascinated by him because they are so famous to Beckham's worldwide. Yeah. And their kids are so famous. Yeah. And a lot of what he's presented on Instagram from David and Victoria Beckham, they're very much from that era where everything's sort of PR controlled. and I never really feel like I'm getting like the real David Becker when he wakes up in the morning. It'll be like...

No, it's not him going, having a fucking nightmare because we've run out of butter. No, it'll be like, oh, here's a video of David, but like look in immaculate and pajamas and everything's perfect. So now that like this is rifted and it must be horrible, because if it's, I don't know what's going on,

but it seems as if Brooklyn Beckham doesn't have much to do with his parents anymore. Yeah. That's what I've read. I don't know if it's true or not. But that rift to happen to any family is horrible. Awful. But then to have that,

In the press. Oh. Because every time anything happens, like, if, for example, you had friends and their adult child didn't get on with them and it was like a christening and you was at it, you might go to Rose, it's a shame that they're not here, isn't it? That they're not getting on anymore with the family. But then imagine it would be all over the mail, like Brooklyn snubs and even just us talking about it now.

Yeah. And we're not, I wouldn't describe me and you as, we'd very rarely talk about celebrity stuff. We're not hunting down a tabloid clickbait chat. So I'm like, oh my God, the pressure. And then whatever Brooklyn does, he gets grief for it. Like, he tried to be a shareful photography. And even if he was amazing at it, no one takes him seriously. Yeah, exactly.

No one takes him seriously. And I get, you know, world's smallest violin, of course, because the advantages are huge. Yeah, of course. He's weird, isn't it? Because you go, I don't even know whether you could just go, well, I'm going to become an accountant. Well, like, for me, the best thing about,

But because being famous is a double-edged sword where it's definitely, I think, more favourable to have it than not, even though there's disadvantages, 100%. The double edge is certainly sharper on the – I don't know how to continue the analogy, but you understand why I mean. A million percent. And obviously, and that comes with money and opportunity celebrity. That's what it brings you most of the time. And I would say the way we have it is incredibly positive. Yeah, I totally agree. but for Brooklyn and Cruz Beckham

that's a different thing. Yeah, but they've grown up. The best thing about getting money is when you never had it in the start. Yeah, yeah. That's the best thing, and the best thing about having an opportunity is when you didn't have an opportunity.

But when you've grown up with unlimited funds, unlimited opportunity, unlimited access, well, what's the fun bit of life? Yeah. What's the, I've achieved something or that. Because, you know, you can earn a bit of money, but like I got a way bigger buzz, you know, walking out on stage to do live at the Apollo,

something I dreamed of doing as a kid, than I did when I saw the money from life of the Polygama Bank. Yeah. Do you what I mean? Exactly. And I suppose that is why you get so many of these kids of celebrities that have substance abuse problems or feel very rudderless or because it's very difficult to find meaning.

It's very difficult to find a reason to kind of exist. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. We have meaning because of what, obviously because of our families. but if we were doing nothing with our days or didn't need to do anything with our days yeah. You crave that when you are driving to Stockton.

Yeah. But the reality is within a week you'd go, I need something to drive me. But imagine if whatever you did, someone said to you, oh, you're only good at that or get that because of your dad anyway. Yeah, exactly.

Say David Beckham's sons and daughters play football, right? They played top level football. They would get told, you only got those opportunities he's because David Nerve on in the industry. And even if they were like brilliant of football, they'd go, oh, well, they're just lucky because they've got his jeans. Yeah, but I do think in football at least,

I think football's the easiest one because it is meritocratic. If someone scores a good goal, if you are, Erling Harlem's a bad example, because he's much better than his dad. That's the answer, isn't it? Just be better in your parents or something. Because I forgot he was, dad was a footballer until you said it just then. And Eddie Hearn's done it well.

Eddie Hearn, the son of Barry Hearn, he's sort of done it in his own way. And I suppose there is people that's like Stella McCartney, or there's like, Stella McCartney is a really good example. I'm struggling to go out with as good a one as that. But like... You're not going to get better in a beetle, no matter what you do. No, exactly. And what she's done, obviously...

Even though that's easier. Well, Stella McCartney wasn't famous before. The difference between the Beckham's kids and Eddie Hearn or Erling Harland or Stella McCartney is Stella McCartney, no one knew who she was. She decided to put herself above the part of here. But the Beckham's kids are, we know their fucking Harper's middle name. Well, yeah, and they've had no choice about it

from birth, really, because they were always in the papers. Exactly. So there's this whole generation now coming through, and even like the people on Towie, you know, Billy and Sam Fares, I think they've stopped doing it now because their kids were getting older, but then, like, their children would become child stars of their television series.

Yeah. But then when they get to 18, they're already become, oh, you're just famous for being on that show. But then they've decided they've not had a choice in being on that show because they were eight or five and they would just put on it. So it's like, well, I think it would be blind of us not to say that we are slightly on the verge of this. And we're having to make decisions like this.

Well, that's why I've never put any pictures of them out or ever said their names. So that then they get a choice. And I try and make sure that, that I'm doing my best to talk about my experience as a dad. That's exactly, yeah. Look what my kids have done. Because it'd be really easy just to film them and put it on Instagram.

Yeah, yeah. So much easier than me having to do anything. That's the decision I'm trying to. And it's hard. And also, in the Beckham's defense, like back in the, how would you ever know that it would grow to this kind of Instagram world? Well, I was once on Bond Street. When would this have been?

So how old's half her now? She's 15, something? that. Yes, this would have been about 13 years ago. And Victoria Beckham walked, but I didn't recognize her because of Victoria Beckham. I saw the back of her head and Harper's face, and I recognized Harper as a two-year-old, because I'm not even that into celebrity, but I'd seen that face so many times. And they grew up in the absolute era of tabloid. Yes. And they were the most famous people. Beyond Robbie Williams, they were the most famous people. But they've maintained it last 20, 30 years.

It was slightly the era. They were always doomed in that era, whereas now if Taylor Swift and what's his name have a kid. Travis Kelsey. Yeah, Travis Kelsey. I don't think that kid necessarily has to be famous because you're much more in charge of your own. Well, she will be, but then you can manage it if you...

Yes. But at that level, maybe you can't. Because, you know, it's easier for us because we're not that level of fame. You don't know who Simon Cowell's kid is. You don't know. Yeah, you do. Eric. All right, fine.

Give me some more. Do you know Robbie Williams' kids? No. No, you don't. I know he's got kids. How much do you know about Apple Martin? Nothing. I know that he's got a daughter called Apple.

Yeah. I just think my way of thing is let the kids decide when they go on it. The other thing about the Beckham's as opposed to is they were both famous. So it's not even like you go, I don't know, Simon Cowell's wife. isn't famous beyond. I don't even know who it is. Laura. Right.

Here we go. I think. I don't know. Yeah. But yeah, it's a very difficult. It's a very interesting one. Did we actually finish the intro of the person? Or did you just talk for 10 minutes after they said Harper?

Can I just ask one thing as well? Go on. Could you write in with the most famous person whose kid we don't know the name of? Lauren Silverman's Simon Cowell's wife? Oh, there we go. The most famous person. Because even Killian Murphy, who kept himself very, very private. Yeah.

He took his son on Graham Norton, and he watched the show, and he was sort of on camera waving, but he's that a teenager. It's things like that. He's also like, I want my children to have the opportunity to go to these things and enjoy them.

Do you know what I mean? So, you wouldn't feel like you're ashamed of them and you have to hide them. No, exactly. So if I got to take my daughter, what would be the thing, you know, obviously I've got her videos from like, Alan and Jonathan from, like, she loves traitors.

I've not watched it all yet. Okay. I have. So I've got her videos from them. But, like, say, not that this exists, but say there was like a traitor's experience and we were invited to it and she could go, I would want to take her, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. If you did arm a celebrity, would you let them be at the end of the bridge to hug you? No, because I think they wouldn't bother. So I'd say, don't come. No, Rose and the kids would be out of there? Yeah, they'd be out there. It's just a bit of a balance, isn't it?

It's your workout what it is. Maybe saying we've called him Brooklyn because we fucked in Brooklyn. That's already... I wouldn't call that soft launch for your kid in the media. They've got very distinctive names as well, which he and glass houses, blah, blah, blah. But, like, they were awkwardly timed the Beckham's in terms of they were just the height of tabloids wanting to know.

Yeah, and they were so famous and everything was getting out anyway. Hey there, Rob, Josh and Michael. This is my almost three-year-old daughter Harper, having a go at the intro. Oh, my God. That was 15 minutes. We didn't even read it out. Didn't even read it out.

Absolutely riffmasters. I bet Rachel Migliori from Boigniop, West Australia, originally from Belfast, has been sitting here going, you better fucking get back to this. Oh, Boenop. Boyanop. Western Australia. Do you know that? No.

I've only been to Perth on Western Australian. In my excitement recording, I accidentally pressed stop before praising her. I promise she got a big cheer and a high-five. Big shout out to my twin brother, Ben, who got me into the podcast earlier in my pregnancy with Harper. The leap from one to two kids has been huge, but my hubby and I are bluffing our way through it. Thank you so much. I look forward to the episodes each week, and I love when the kids have a car nap so I can drive and listen to the pod. Flipping lovely.

Stay sexy and relatable. Rachel Migliore, Boi-Li-Li-Ori, Western Australia, originally Belfast. Jesus Christ, that's a mouthful, that, isn't it? Rachel Migliori from Bingua de Boree, originally from Belfast. There we go, yes. Are you going to Australia? Possibly. Sign up to the mailing list.

sign up to the mailing list. What's your plan for next year, Josh? Do you've got any like announcements of like things that are going on that you're not allowed to say yet? Yeah, of course I have. And do sign up to my mailing list. What I like is I've been following Romish's big announcement, right?

Yeah. That he's going on tour. And what I love in the buildup to any comedian, if any comedian says they've got a big announcement coming up to sign up to the mailing list, it's a tour. They do not care enough about a TV show to make you sign up to their mailing list.

Don't give a shit about any. else other than mailing list and ticket sales. So that's the giveaway. That is the only reason they want you to sign up for the mailing list. They haven't got a new podcast. They've got a new TV show. They haven't got a new radio show. They just mailing list equals poor. That is a great hack. Great insight there, Josh. What's it going to be?

I've got a new show on ITV. So do sign up to my mailing list. Big news coming, guys. If you could sign up to the mailing list, do-da-da-da. My hamster chipstead. See you next week. Just dropping news, effort. shit earlier, didn't need to want my ass, sign up to the list. I tell you something, if you are signed up to my mailing list and do sign up if you live

in Australia or the UK. Can you sign up to mine as well, please? Yeah, sign up to Rob's as well. Yeah, and in three years time when I announce another tour. Yeah. You won't get too much spam. There's no worries with my mailing list. You're not getting more than three emails a year.

Could I tell you what's a fun thing about being in Australia, Josh? You'll love this. Yeah. Because all the emails come in like overnight. Like, you get it all in a week. one lump so you can get all your work done quickly when you wake up. And you don't realise how many mailing lists you're on until you see it in one go. And then on your phone, you can just press, you know, it says unsubscribe at the top in blue.

I've been doing it. Oh my God, it's so good. I feel so powerful. I've got rid of all of my mailing lists except the ones I want to be on now. I feel incredible. I just feel I've taken ownership of my own life. I feel so much better for it. And so I get music tickets because that might help me.

And Plymouth Argyll. Yes. How are they doing at the moment? Are you enjoying the updates from those guys? I delete both of those because I live in extra, so no gigs come here. You've got to be in league too. You're going to be in the weekend. You're still bottom in the league, aren't you?

No, because we beat the team above us, so we can't be bottom. Oh, if you are, that's low, and it? You may go down. Would that be fun because you win every week? I don't think May is really strong enough. Who's May? You said we may go down. Oh.

I think it's stronger than May go down. 16 points but there's quite a lot of people at the bottom with not many points if you win one game you're out the relegations out of it yeah that's a huge if and you lost to exit as well and they're shit they're in nearly the relegations zone no i know i know we'll be playing them next year in league two so go on Josh what would you say we were talking about mailing lists we're talking about mailings should we do some correspondence or did you have something else to say no it's just saying romish is off on tour and it's good to give him a bit of promo oh bald in school stories want one yeah my parents sent me to bald in school

Age seven. Oh, fucking God. Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe from that. I was the only girl baldur in the whole school. What? These serial killer fucking parents that do this kind of shit. Understandably, the school put me in a room on my own.

Less understandably, they used to the same room during the day as a sick bay for poorly children. Oh, my God. Not only that, they used my bed. Oh, my God. My parents only found out after a neighbour's child came home sick and told his mom that he slept in a bed of a Peter Pan bed sheets. Somehow I come up in conversation, my parents put two and two together, and they were horrified, and I did get to change schools after that. Suffice to say, my memories of boarding school aren't entirely positive from Lee aged 460 months. There's an element to boarding school.

Child cruelty. It's brutal, not just the concept of it, but it's not as palatial as it should be. Do you know what I mean? No, it feels like the amount of money it costs, and it's all for posh, but it feels like you are like living a substandard dorm. and that sort of almost character building that you sleep in a shittal. Yeah, exactly. Or maybe I'm wrong.

Was it Palatia or not? I don't know. Tell us. Tell us. Should I have Google Eton boarding school bedroom? Sounds like a bit of a pedo search, isn't it? Is Eton the best? I don't know.

It looks out of prison cell. Does it? Yeah, it just looks old and sad. What have you written? Eaton. Eaton College summer school is that one. Oh, it says. College rooms.

It's completely soulless. Oh, they're nicer than I thought. At least they've got their own room. Yeah, but bloody hell, it's weird. It's a weird thing. It's a weird thing. It's a weird thing. It's the wrong there. That's the old saying, go. Unless it's me having to do it. I fucking hate it.

Crap advent calendars. Here we go. Hello, Robin Josh. Have you got yours yet? I've got our kids ones. I've bought myself one from TikTok shop. Oh my word. Eight quid and it's a football one.

And it looks so crap. What do you get? Should I bring it and open the first one? No, it's not December the first. Don't approve of this. So I've got it here. I'll just send you it. So it's like a...

A terrible low-res picture of loads of footballers. Oh, wow. World Cup in the middle. I'm going to say it now, Rob. They have not cleared those photos. So really random players. Some retired eight years ago. So what have you bought this?

Surely there's a good football advent calendar. I was just doom scrolling. Honestly, on tour, I scroll and watch so much. I just don't know what, I'm just stuck in a hotel room on my own going mad. I've started watching a documentary called Once Upon a Time in Northern Ireland. Oh, my God. It's so bleak. It's something else.

isn't it? I watched that in Derry and in Dublin when I was on tour and I just couldn't believe it. It's so heartbreaking. Do watch it though because it is work of art

it's incredible and it's brilliant but fuck me. All right so I've opened the first one I've just smashed through Hakimi's face and it doesn't open properly

because it's terribly designed. It's so deep it's so deep and I've got a really You got a lint bunny? No, it's a little metal golden boot with a fake adidas boot on it. And what are you meant to do with that? You just put it on the side.

It's like a little ornament. Fuck. Let us know if you've got a share ab-bank calendar than that because that is so fake. And actually, I think if the police came in and took this, I'd be arrested for counterfeit goods.

And the back of it's exactly the same as the front. The back of the advent calendar is exactly the same as the front. That is fucking up. And they've got a little plastic golden boot. Eight quid, how much are they making on that? It's really badly, It came up, one of them little TikTok adverts

and then I just clicked on it and before I knew it, it was getting delivered. Oh man. It's like two button presses, eight quid. It's difficult on tour, isn't it? That's the equivalent. I'm basically, I think I've become some sort of like social media shopping addicts

where that's like doing a bumper coke in the toilet. Yeah, it is. Seeing it, why not, bang. And before I know, I've got these plastic shit in my house. I know, I do that on eBay. It's terrible. Anyway, so that's, I've opened the 1st of December, it's going to bring you bad luck.

Dear Josh and Rob, I don't think you need to worry about bad luck from that Advent calendar. There's no way it holds proper luck. I'm a long time, long time, sorry, listener from Berlin, Germany, originally from Cheshire, UK. When my daughter was four years old, it was

the 30th of November and due to the treadmill of work deadline sickness and the usual chaos, I'd completely forgotten to buy my daughter's Advent calendar. She was so excited about the 1st of December and opening the first advent door that I just had to find one in time. I visited the local supermarket, but it's sold

out of all Advent calendars. the second supermarket looked promising. But alas, it only had Advent calendars with an assortment of tea bags, which was not interesting to a four-year-old or anyone. I don't know. I added that, Peter. I think you might want. Well, I've got enough tea bags.

Do you know what I mean? I think if you woke up on the other side of the bed, you might go, oh, it's brilliant, Rob. You get red bush, red bush on the first, then Earl Grey on Christmas Eve. This one's cinnamon. It's brilliant. That's Shaw-Malsh that you're doing.

Yeah, I've gone so much. I made a dash to Netto and hallelujah I found the chocolate Advent calendars in my haste to buy the calendar and make it home

I didn't really pay much attention to the box I know what he's done she come on she's got a dog one the next morning

I pulled out the advent calendar and handed it to my daughter she excitedly opened the first door do you want to go again cat one and took a bite

into the chocolate she immediately spat it out and shrieking yuck yuck yuck Do you want to go again? I haven't got it right. No.

I've got no idea. An Advent calendar with snaps filled chocolate. Each day had a chocolate filled with a flavoured schnapps. Lesson learned to always check the box, especially after I collected my daughter from kindergarten that afternoon, Germany. Kindergarten. And the teacher mentioned that my daughter informed the class that mummy and daddy had given her wine.

But I don't like a chocolate liqueur. I don't like it. It's just ruined chocolate for me. I don't like chocolate. it's shit. No one likes it. No one in their right mind enjoys that. You need to tell the manager of Berlin Netto. I do need to tell the manager of Berlin Netto.

I'll get on the first plane. Get the email up. Oh, there's a gobble, gobble, fail. Gobble, gobble fan, come on. I work in a restaurant in Newcastle upon time. I've been there in the last. Have you been there recently, Rob? No. I'm going next week.

Recently had an embarrassing parenting hell-related moment. A party of two decided to turn into a party of 15. that's not me. There's a few people coming up from down south. I definitely haven't been from me or with 15 people. A little while later, a family joined the table with a lady and two young kids. And what I absolutely, oh no, absolutely believed was Josh. No.

Oh, no. I assumed he was up here on tour. You've got to check. Just type in Josh Whitaker Newcast and find the date. I asked the table for any allergies and got a good look at him. I was 100% sure, same voice and everything. I asked my colleagues who agreed, when I went to deliver the drinks,

I lent in and announced, announced gobble, while raising my eyebrows in the most animated way. In a way, could I just say, of all the context, it's almost the best one to mistakenly gobble, gobble,

because it makes slight bit of sense. Yeah, you know, you're putting food down. If you just went out something in the street and said gobble, gobble, that's far worse than giving them drinks. All around a pool on holiday or in a bar, gobble, gobble.

The response was some unbelievably puzzled faces. Josh's doppelganger was absolutely mortified. Complete enough doubt to silence. Then the two little kids burst out laughing, shouting, Mommy, what is she saying? It was not Josh. I've never been so red and seen. simply couldn't explain to my boss why his restaurant manager was making noises to his customer.

Keep being sexually relatable, Liv, 23 from Jordyland. Oh, Liv. I'm coming up next week. Well, I don't know when this goes out, but I'll be up there 27th of November for three nights. So if you see me, you can gobble, gobble, you. Yeah. Sounds bad. Yeah.

At me. At me. Not me. Gobble, gobble, at me. The problem is that. The odds are it might not be you still. So she now... You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to go into Pizza Express, Newcastle. Is it Pizza Express? Was it Pizza Express? I thought it said Pizza Express. No, she hasn't said where it is. I'm going to find out where it is and then go there. And then when she leans in and goes with a big eyebrows, gobble, gobble, I'm going to go. I'm sorry, what?

What's that me? And then she goes, you're a Robert Beckett. You go, no. No. No. And then when at the end she goes, how do you want to pay, you'll have to go cash because she won't be allowed to see your card. I'll just tap it well quick. Do it on my phone.

Tap, tap. Right, what we got here? Seeing other people on holiday. Okay, I don't remember this. We were talking about not wanting to see other people on holiday. And I actually should say, Tom Pac-Man, who I mentioned, I had got that wrong.

It wasn't New York. It was Paris, and he did text me to correct that. So I do apologise. Not interesting for everyone else. In this special segment brought to you by Tesco Mobile for Business, we're going to talk to you about the chaos of balancing parenting and running a side hustle. Like when you're trying to send an email and your kids just video called your mum on your

work phone. Oh yes. Or you're typing up an invoice. Don't realise your toddlers eating 10 crowns. We've all been there, Rob. Yeah, absolutely. Now Josh, if you had to start and run your own side hustle, what would it be? I would like, Rob.

Oh, it's difficult, isn't it? Massage therapist? Just let your hands go to work and keep your mouth shut for a bit. I think I have got healing hands. But actually, I get quite bored quite easily. So being silent for an hour, I'd struggle with that. Also, I don't really like people. So I think it would have to be something at home.

I think I might buy and sell online, Rob. I think I can spot a bargain, repackage it and sell it on at a profit to someone who really wants it. Well, you do still jokes, so that would fit. That's a shame, isn't it? Well, what kind of stuff? Because you can't just do anything, can you? Nostalgic items I find online. or garage clearance.

Would you go to boot sales and stuff? Or would you only do it online? Yes, that's who I'm going to be, Rob. But then you've got a hard negotiation for you as to bloke off the telly to get a good deal. No, because they know that I can walk away at any point because they know I don't need it. Right. Okay. I've got a boot sale and I'm selling micro star football heads.

Yeah, and I say I'll give you 6p for them. There's 300 here. Good deal. Cheers. I'll see you later. God, you are good. So I think I'd be a good kind of Del Boy style side hustler selling nostalgic items. What about you?

It's quite like I have a sandwich shop, you know? Yeah. I think I can make better sandwiches than most of the UK population. Okay. Talk to me about how you're making sandwiches. I've come to your sandwich shop and I've gone. I hear that you make the best sandwiches. Yeah.

What's your secret? My secret is fresh bread, bouncy in the middle, all crusty on the edge. Yeah, okay. Is that a secret? Well, it's not secret, but it's what I'll do. Yeah. And what's your ratio of fillings to bread? Because I find loads of fillings.

Oh, that's not for me then. Yeah, exactly. But I don't want you in my shop. Yeah, fair enough. You're not my market. You're not my demographic. Do you what I want? I want people that love life.

I don't want sad little one slither of ham, sad losers like you. Well, I don't eat ham. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're talking crusty loaf. Yeah. Do you know what my secret ingredient is? Love. Gerkins.

Yeah, this is the same. The pickle of love? The pickle of love. that's the pickle of love that's eight pounds to you do you want one yeah yeah i'll have one please yeah sold see look at that yeah the thing is though josh yeah if we did do the side hustle me and lou yeah i'm already busy as it is but if i'm up at six down the old girkin market getting the fresh gherkins in you know i mean like so i can open up the shop at seven a m with you know the picker of love sandwiches ready to go like how am i going to balance that it's easy rob it's easy right yeah you need the right

tools, you need the thing to help you. I'm talking Tesco Mobile for Business here, Rob. Oh yeah. Come on. Keep going. If you're out there, you're hustling. Yeah. School run spreadsheets. Tesco Mobile for business is great value, great coverage, perfect for keeping your chaos in check. And there is a lot of chaos. And there is a lot of chaos. And one thing to sure, it's more important to stay connected. Totally. Tesco Mobile for business is basically the parenting hack you didn't know you needed, saving cash and keeping you connected when everything else falls apart. Go to TescoMobile.com, for slash business,

and explore their business phone plans because parenting's hard enough without your phone plan holding you back. Now, seeing other people on holiday. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. I have a story about seeing people you know on holiday. In 2019, my fiancé and I have booked a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon to Barbados. Three days before our wedding, I was chatting to our company's financial director who mentioned he was going on holiday soon. Oh, where too? I asked. Barbados, he replied. Small world. So when I asked which punk, St. James, exactly where we were going. I asked him what hotel we booked. You guessed it, the exact same small 50-room hotel we had booked. Oh, no. He was arriving halfway through our honeymoon. By the next day, it was the talk of the office. Also, the worst part of that is, that's a once-a-one.

to last time opportunity honeymoon, but you know for a fact, that's just where the finance director goes every year. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so in the second half of my honeymoon was spent awkwardly trying not to bump into my boss in a bikini. It was me in the bikini, though, not him. And praying every meal time, we wouldn't be sitting next to each other. We did, unfortunately, end up at neighbouring tables for breakfast on multiple occasions.

Oh, no. One night we booked a minibus trip to a local fish fry market. We got on, sat down, turned around, and there he was right behind us. The only silver line in, when our flight home was delayed due to tropical storm Dorian, he gave me an extra day off as compassionate leave. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Which I assume was cold for sorry for honeymoon blocking you.

That's more awkward for them. He doesn't want to be there with her either, though, does he? If the other person doesn't want to be there with you, that's fine. The worst is... If they're keen. Yeah, so me and Rose will have the discussion of, like, on holiday, who'd be the worst people? And it's people you kind of know, isn't it?

That you know enough that it would impact the whole. holiday. The worst people are the people that want to hang around with you and you don't want to hang around with you. Yeah, that's the worst. They know you enough that they think that you should be hanging around with them. Yeah. So if we, me and you, Rose and Lou ended up at the hotel, we would feel compelled to spend the whole time together, even though actually we probably would like some alone time, but it's awkward for everyone involved. Yes. The way to deal with it if you don't know that I'm that well is to, if you clock them and go, oh my God, that's someone a half a night. You just go up to them quickly without ever kids go, oh hi, nice to see it, good, have a good holiday. And then it's

Done. Yeah. When we were on holiday in Spain, Lou went, oh, there's a boy over there. Boy, man, we're all 40, who I went to uni with. I was like, all right. And I was like, you're going to say hello? She went, oh, I don't know. This is Lou's idea of hell.

This kind of social, semi-awkward interaction makes Lou literally go red and like panic. And because I'm normally the lead of any sort of social interaction, this is her. I don't know the man. This is all her wheelhouse, right? Anyway, so I was like, you're going to go and say hello? She went, oh, if it's a bit closer, I don't want to make a thing of it, you know. Yeah. And then a few days went by, and there was sort of, like, awkward, like, eyebrow raises,

like from across the pause that went past, but neither of them probably said hello. And I was like, why don't you just go and speak to him? I was, oh, I don't know, well, how well do you know him, like, thinking it was just someone that was on a course. Oh, here we go. She fucking lived with him. What? There was, like, two houses of, like, boys and girls that they, they spent, like, three years in and out of everyone's house together.

Now, I don't know, maybe they got off of each other. I don't think they did. but it was mental that she didn't say hello. So that's why the bloke was, because why the hell is she not saying hello? Then it's as much on him as it is on her. Yeah, but I do think it's a bit more, I don't know, like, would you really want to swagger over to a woman you was at uni with with a husband? I'd be like, hey.

Was he with his wife? Wife and children. But yeah, I just couldn't believe Lou wasn't more front-foot. Now, she's probably going to listen to this. It's going to be shit for this now, but... Hey. We'll see. We'll see.

Well, you get a little one of your little voice notes. I couldn't believe that, like, Lou knew him that well, but it was like leaving it that. I was like, you've made this more awkward. Well, stay on university, Rob. First week of uni fails. A friend of mine described having to teach her a male and a little bit useless uni friend to hang up his clothes to dry after he washed them. He was putting them straight into the wardrobe wet.

That is wild. What? That is mental, isn't it? So he's hung them up, but just put them in the wardrobe. Yeah. I do remember everything smelled a bit damp at uni, because no one really wanted to put the heating on. people would refuse to buy like a clothes horse thing. Also, it was expensive to use that you had to pay for the tumble dryers.

Yeah, we were in a house share that had a tumble dryer in it, so you didn't have to pay each time. It was electric, obviously, you had to pay for tools. Yeah. You didn't have that many clothes. You must have been washing them all the time. I don't really remember. I were lived in Canterbury, so I think what I did a lot of

was just wearing them, putting them in a bag and going home and getting my mum to do it. That was a big thing that used to happen at you live. Clever. I remember something the other day. I'd take all more washing home. Dishes, they'll lot. When I went to uni, so after the first year, one of my friends had lost his keys to his halls

and he'd had to buy a new set, which was 50 quid, which was always... Oh, that is the morale dip as a student. Yeah, also in 2001, that's even more money. It was like three grand. And then he, when he was moving out, he found the keys, obviously. So he had two sets of keys.

so he handed one back in. He still had a set of keys. I remember I was thinking we had a plan which was, wouldn't it be amazing to on the first day move in again everyone goes out to the bar? Yeah. First night.

And then you move straight out and you never mentioned it again. What's it for the next year? You move out, you never seen again. And they're like, who the fuck was that guy that on the first night turned up with a load of boxes moved into our house and then he said he'd meet us in the bar

and then we never saw him again. Did you do it? No. I wish I had. But anyway, if you do get a spare set of keys could you do that and see how it works out for me? Yeah, but then what if someone else is already in the room? I know, that's your gamble, isn't it?

Well, you just go, oh, there's obviously been some kind of fuck up here. I'll go and check with the office and then you run for your life. Let's have a... Boomer parent? I like to mix them out. Nightmare names. Do a nightmare names and I'll do some boomers.

Okay. I used to work with a guy called Andy, hole, right? There we go. Here we got. It's a good one. I'm already in it. Mr. A-ho. Yeah, his email was A-Hole at Redacted. A-Holl at A-L-L-L. None of us ever said anything out loud, but we all referred to him as A-Hole informally, of course. Anyway, when he had a daughter, we were horrified and delighted in equal measure to learn that they had called her Lavinia, Lavinia-Hole. Lavinia-Hole. Lavinia-Hole. hole. I feel like they've had a bit of fun at work with the A-hole, which, by the way,

is top-tier good fun. Yeah, great. No quons. Then they found out that A-holes had a kid and called Levinia hole. I mean, I can hear it now. I can hear it now. Levinia hole. What's your called? Oh, Levinia hole. Yeah. Now we're saying it out loud in flow. I'm into it. But I do think they're already high on the A-hole stuff. That Levinia is really is the cherry on top of the cake that I think Levinia hole, I don't know, actually, the more I'm saying. I'm more coming around to it. I'm warming up to a vine your hole. I'll live in your hole.

I want to live in a hole. I think also the other thing is, if your surname's hole, you've really got to go checking a lot of things with names because it's an open goal. Open hole. It's an open hole. Everything sounds bad with hole.

So is it about H-O-L-E? Exactly like a hole. It literally is Mr. A-Hull. Yeah. And that's not even banter. That's just it written down. That's it. Was A-Hole a phrase, we don't know how old Andy is,

but presumably because he's had a kid, he's at least in his 30s, was... No, was that a kid under 30? No, he hasn't, but it feels like... He's at least in his 30s. I don't know what I said. Which 12 years could have been a parent. Yeah, so Andy might be 16.

He could be 16. When did A-Hole? Because I don't think A-Hole was a phrase when I was a kid. I think it was an asshole when I was a kid. Then it became an asshole. Yeah, A hole's maybe new. Maybe, you know. Maybe that's new for him. Definitely when he was named, I don't think A-hole was a problem.

No. Also, it's Andrew Hull. But also, when he was named, he was still A-Hole. It's not as bad. Yeah, because it'll B-Hole. Yeah, is that C-Hole, D-Hole. Anyway. Exactly.

That's what you have to do if you're called Hull. Well, big up to Lavinia Hull, if you're listening. Yeah. Hi, Rob, this is Boomer Parenting. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. I've been listening to the podcast since the early days, but this is the first time I've had something to email about. During the 80s, my dad drove a large transit van, and he would collect me and my friends from school, and he would let us take turns, standing up in the back of the van, holding the lapstrapped seat from the middle seat and pretend to water ski while he swerved and slammed on the brakes to make us fall over.

Amazing. The good old days, Laura, aged 545 months. That's quite good fun, isn't it? Yeah. Depends on the age. Yeah, and the road. Hi, you sexy and relatable guys. I'd like to stay anonymous for obvious reasons.

Always a good start. Is it, Mr. Aho? It's Lavinia. She's clapped back. It's Lavinia. This is a parenting fail. My seven-year-old sometimes stays at his granddad on a school night to help us with childcare. He loves it there, and my father-in-law is great with him. A few weeks ago, I packed his overnight bag, the same bag I used a week before.

I also checked in some snacks for granddad to put in his school bag the next day. Fast forward to the following evening, where I'm, unpacking a school bag, I open off a snack box to find two unopened tampacks. What? I was absolutely baffled.

Before I can even figure it out, some pipes up and goes, Mum, what are these and why are they in my snack box? Who did that? Him or her? Sorry. I've referred to a vagina as a snack, but I don't hate it.

I don't hate it. Sorry. Then he tells me he thought they were sweet. Open them at school and his teacher very calmly said, maybe don't open those ones today. Oh man, that teacher's love in it, at the? Oh yeah. At this point, I want the ground to swallow me whole.

Andy, oh. You can't have vinyas in there. But then it dawns on me. They must have been left in the bag when I used it and my poor father-in-law, bless him, must have seen them, assume there was some kind of weird sweets, packed them straight into the snack box I'm sorry

I know men don't have vaginas but you know a tampon's not a snack in one's bit and twice try you can't fool me once feed me a tampon once shame on you feed me a tampon twice

shame on me shame on me no you know what a tampon like you can't just blame being a bloke on that well the teacher would have loved that imagine going back in the staff room yeah how was lunch just stopped a kid from eating a tampon.

You must have thought there's some sort of Willy Wonka sweet. This marshmallow just keeps getting bigger. Thank God the teacher was walking past. Your son just choked a death on a massive fucking tampon. My son went to school with Tambacks and his pat-lunch courtesy of his granddad. That's a sum-up. P.S. Lovely, thank you for that.

Was that an AI sum-up? Yeah, it's also disgusting to drink out of the same glass as your cat. Sorry, Josh. But I think about this on a regular. basis and I'm a vet nurse. I got interviewed about this last week by David Badell. It is disgusting. David Badell agrees with me. Right, another boomer parenting story. Hi, Rob and Josh. When we were little, we had a giant teddy bear that lived in my bedroom. My parents decided they didn't like it anymore

and decided to get rid of it, but instead of saying that, they told us a burglar had stolen it. What the fuck? I was absolutely terrified, a scary burglar had come into my room for years. Of course you are. Thanks for the last. I started listening. at the beginning of the year when I was on maternity leave and only just caught up to present day. That is absolutely a burglar has taken it.

We've been burgled and they took one shit teddy. Did I tell you about Rose's dummies? Maybe it's ringing a bill. Michael, have I told that? I don't think so, no. When Rose was, whatever, three or whatever

and her mum wanted to get rid of her dummies, they were having building work done at the time and her mum said the builders had taken them. Oh, yeah, yeah. Have I told you this? I think you've mentioned that before.

About 10 years later, Rose was like, it was weird, wasn't it, when the builders took my dummies? Well, I think it's better the builders. You could say, oh, maybe the builders took it of all their stuff as they left, not someone's broken into our home and stolen the thing that you love, and there's a danger they may come back and take you. Yeah. It's essentially what they said.

Exactly. I think you have said that. I thought it was a recent thing. I thought dummies was like, you know, like human dummies, like big sort of dummies, dummies rather than. called pacifiers. You're okay, Michael. Well, Rose has a lot of hobbies.

I imagine she might be getting into something that involves dummies. Yeah, if I told you about Rosie's 10 mannequin she's got in the garage. Because we're talking about burglar, so. One last email. Flying solo as a child. So back in 1999, I was put on a flight as an unaccompanied miner, seven years old, from London to Johannesburg. That's the exact route I.

No, it's the reverse of the route I did. I was dropped off at the doors to the flight by my parents and never thought much of it. The interesting bit was when I arrived. The plane lands and as everyone jumps up to collect their luggage, I did too as I only had a small bag. I stood up and started walking as people were exiting the plane. I reckon the people in front presumed I was with the people behind and vice versa. I was then in the airport walking around aimlessly as a seven-year-old when a flustered air stewardess grabbed me by the scruff of the neck pull me back aboard saying I was supposed to wait for them.

Oh, that's very nearly home alone too, isn't it? I had no idea about this as I was so young. Turns out Johannesburg at the time, kidnapping was a real thing. So, yeah, it really was. So when I was in Johannesburg in 1994, you sound like an old army operative. Yeah. You were told to lock your passenger doors when, I don't know whether this,

when driving, yet because people would try and open the door and steal you out of the car. I was only in Johannesburg about five or six years ago, and they said, like, just don't stop at red lights. Yeah. And if police try and pull you over, don't get pulled over, because it may not be police.

You just drive to a police station with them following you. Jesus wept. Jesus bloody wept. Should we do small business? Should we do small business, yeah. Okay, hi, Rob, Josh and sexy Michael. Please may have a shout out for my small business, The Sophie Touch.

Oh. I am a sex worker. A little side hustle I've been doing since lockdown. Front hustle more like. Oh dear. I don't know what that meant. I was trying to do a banking joke. Anyway, it's not a sex.

I help families declutter and organise their homes. Makes much more sense. It makes much more sense. I help families declutter their nuts sacks. This poor woman. She's been waiting for this email to be read out for months probably. I implore everyone to get in touch. Use the actual service.

I'm so sorry, Sophie. Arguably. other way is it's flagging it as, you know, this is one people will remember. Yeah. I help families declutter and organise their homes, whether that's taming the playroom, tackling the Tupperware, cupboard of doom, or simply making day-to-day life a bit calmer. My aim is to create calm in the chaos so families can breathe easier, feel less stressed and spend more time on what really matters. By making spaces more functional and clear, tidying feels less overwhelming and families waste less. Services include decluttering and organisation.

personalized solutions for every room. Life transitions, support with downsizing and moving, style and design, bespoke mural painting and interior design consultations and 69ers. Sorry. I had made up the last one. Parent and our listeners get 15% off their first booking.

Email the Sophie touch at gmail.com, Instagram, the Sophie touch. There you go. Good luck, Sophie. Apologies for that. And get involved, guys. it's a 15% discount if you get the Sophie touch. Too late, Rob, it's too late. It's too late. The Sophie Touch. Too late. Hi Rob, Josh and Michael, absolutely love the pod. 17 months ago, my wife and I adopted our two amazing girls and they've turned our world wonderfully upside down.

In those early months, as we built trust and connection, a predictable routine was key to them helping to feel safe and in control during such a big life change. That's when I created VizziT timers, V-I-Z-Z-Y, beautifully simple, visual, timers we put on the TV so the girls could see when transitions were coming or how long was left for an activity. It made such a difference. They started anticipating changes, focusing better, staying calmer. We still use them today. After seeing the impact firsthand, we've made VisiTomers available to parents, carers, educators and therapists everywhere. They're free on YouTube. Just search Fizzy Timers and schools can purchase offline classroom packs at www.w.w.Vizetimers.com.

Parents, don't forget to subscribe. Thanks for all the laughs, Sam. Lovely. Much more pure, well-delivered read than what I did to poor Sophie's touch. Well, once we got to the adoption of two amazing girls, I did feel slightly boxed in on that. Yeah, that's difficult, isn't it to, you know, sort of pretend it's a sex worker business? Yeah, so cheers for not being a laugh, Sam, with your bloody adopted kids. but there we go. Yes, Sam, you come guzzler. Sorry, I don't know what's happened to me.

Let's go, let's go. Let's stop. You just cancelled me. Josh, I'll see you next week. Apologies to Sophie and Sam there. I was just starting to have a little bit of fun. I was a husband as well. Well, I called Sam the cum-guzzler.

I think that's better to call a man a cum-gouser than a woman knows, isn't it? Let's leave. That's better. It's better to call a man. Stop the episode, Michael. Stop the episode, Michael. Michael, end it now. Shut up, Josh, you cum-guzzler.

Guzzle, Guzzle. Hello, parenting hell listeners. Recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Widdickham here. I have got a new podcast, Josh Widdickham's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it. I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it.

Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me, and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking. talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics.

I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real. when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical

with music from You Too, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are, by the way. Either you know what these things are and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't,

and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff next will learn, loose next will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now.

Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitacom, available everywhere from the 1st of January.