Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S11 Ep39 Kate Garraway

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant broadcaster and journalist - Kate Garraway MBE. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Quick trigger warning for this episode, we do discuss Father Christmas and elves if you're listening with children. And also we do discuss the passing of Kate's late husband, Derek, and the impact that's had on them as a family. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Widdickham. Welcome to Parents in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting. Each week, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.

Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with... Robin, can you say Rob Beckett? And can you say Josh Whittaker? Just Whitaker. Good job. Why do you take your horn out?

He's called her on it. A couple of Aussies. He's been bootlegging. She's been bootlegging. Hi Rob, Josh and Michael. Hello from Newcastle. Australia. Yeah, but...

Saddle a little accent there, right? Robin, 27 months having a go at saying your names. He was so impressed with himself that he insisted on more tries. This was the first of seven takes. So nearly three. I've been listening since pregnancy. It got me through the early days when everything truly feels hectic. And now the general struggles of parenthood.

Thanks for the last. Stay Sexion Relatable from Casey. Thanks, Casey from Newcastle Australia. Right. I bet it's well up there, but she's going for a fucking lovely walk in the sun. I can't be bothered of this, wherever. I love it. I love it. Dark at four.

My gig's at eight. Fuck, it feels like I'm doing a gig at 3 a.m. It's fucking... Because he got booked 10 years ago before everyone started doing them fucking earlier, and then the next tour's going to be fucking matinee. But you love it. Do you like this weather this time of year and the cold and the dark? It's miserable.

It's the best. Rob, you don't like this time of year. I love Christmas. I love Christmas. I love being a bit cozy. Would you like a sunny Christmas? No. No.

Do you know what? Like, I don't like it being dark and I don't like it when it's wet. I like the cold and wrapping up. The wet does my head in. It's been so wet the last sort of three or four weeks in it. It's constantly pissing down. And, but the Christmas spirit,

the only reason Christmas exists is because someone actually vent something because it's so fucking miserable. between December to February. So that's have something in the middle to liven it up. Because January to Feb, that is danger zones for miserableness. Yeah, I enjoy December. But January, you've got to go in at full pout. Oh my God, January's tough.

You've got to have stuff to do in January. January lockdown was the worst January on record. Remember that? The lockdown January. Yeah, yeah. Because we thought it was all right, and then it all went potty again before Christmas. But that's while we're here to bring joy. Bring a little bit of just real-life chat to get everyone through,

those dark winter months. Right guys. We're in it together. Right guys. Imagine you're a local radio DJ. How would you approach it, Rob? Hello and welcome to the show. Got Josh Whitacum here.

We've got some great songs for you, great chat, great guests. And most importantly, each other. Do you see where I stumbled, right, to pretend to be sincere? Yeah. That's what I... You've already.

Not really. I'm a seasonal DJ. Right. I'm dictated by the mood. I couldn't do Radio 2 breakfast where you've got to be happy all year. because it's not how I feel, but most of the time I'm jolly. The thing that I would struggle with, if you were on, like, one of those daily shows,

is how do you keep it feeling exciting? I'd have to be in a gang on my own. Yeah, yeah. I think I could get away. If I was with three mates doing a breakfast show, I'd have to have someone on the show that's more miserable than me that I could go, well, at least I'm happier than that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's not many gangs anymore, are there? It's gone out of fashion on the radio. There's gangs at Capitol, and I think they're... Capital, obviously, is a gang. That's a breakfast one. And then Magic's more, it's got Gwan and Harris. Oh, that's two. That's two.

But it's not a gang, yeah. I think I need more than two. I need a gang. Does he have anyone, or is he flying solo? No, but then the thing is, if you are a gang, you're not going to be paid as much, because there's three of you doing one person's job. Well, exactly.

That's why sometimes they lead on people, you know, on the news or in traffic. bringing them in because you've got people, but you're not having to pay them, or they get the producer to start chatting because they're not having to pay them and on air fee. It's a weird thing in radio. There's like a career in not being the radio host, but being an excellent foil. Almost like an attack midfielder. You're just constantly playing the ball through.

You get a couple of goals yourself, most shows, but you're basically feeding the goat to score. Have we got someone on from the radio? Who have we got today, Michael? Kate Garraway, who is a radio host, obviously. I'll tell you what we're doing on this. Let's talk about Kate Garraway. So A, we'll talk to her about traitors because I'm very excited about traitors. I actually DMed Kate Garraway to say that I thought she was brilliant on traitors

because I thought she came across as not taking herself too seriously and a real laugh and not competitive. Yeah, she just was having, and I felt like she was just having a lovely time with some really great people. And then when they were going, who do you think it is Kate? She was a bit like, oh, I don't know. I just quite enjoying hanging out. Yeah, exactly. I liked that attitude. The other thing about Kate Garroway,

and we've discussed the motorbikes we occasionally have to get if we go between gigs before. Garraway is a big use of those motorbikes. Oh, she loves to ride. She goes from GMB. Good morning, Britain. Good morning, Britain, to her show on Smooth, which starts at 10 a.m, I think.

Oh, yeah, come on. So I want to ask Kay Garay's from radio, Rob. So you want to ask Kate Garraway what it was like doing the traitors and if she likes to get in the motorbike. Yeah, that's all I want to ask Kate Garroway. Should we ask her about parenting as well? Yeah, probably it might be worth people. Oh, there's one other thing I want to ask Kate Garroway.

Go on. A clip I've always been obsessed with of Kate Garroway. Okay. It's starting to feel like, you know, there's sort of autograph hunters that wait outside to school? You're starting to sound like, what would you ask Kate Garrow if you got a chance? Kate, what's it like getting the motorbike? What was celebrity traitors like?

And one last thing, this clip I've seen of you, I've got a question about this. So, do you remember when Kate Garraway did I'm a celebrity get me out of here? And I remember she'd be on it, but not any particular clip. She was on it with Andrew Maxwell. Yes, comedian Andrew Maxwell? Yeah. So he arrived on a speedboat. Yeah?

Yeah. And he was in the distance. Kate Garrowy was already there. Mm-hmm. And there was an incredible moment where she looked at the speedboat in the distance and she said, oh, it's the Irish comedian, Andrew Maxwell. Oh, yes, yes, please. So are you suggesting that she may not have known who it is

and then asked who it was and then the production went as an Irish comedian called Andrew Maxwell I'm suggesting the production have said I think what's happening is the production we need to be clear who Andrew Maxwell is to the audience Kate could you just say yeah because I'd say Andrew Maxwell

like he's brilliant one of the best comedians live but he hasn't done loads and loads of telly he's done a bit of the ex on the beach voice over and he's been on some stand-up shows but I don't think she's in Kate Garroway's orbit No, so I want to ask Kay Garrow why if she did recognise Andrew Maxwell on Speedboat from 50 yards away

or whether... She was asked by production to maybe and she slipped it in verbatim rather than oh, it's Andrew Maxwell. Oh, he's a comedian, Irish guy. Yeah. Which is the way I would, you know, slip it in all at one word,

but she's gone, it's the Irish comedian, Andrew, but she's done it like a TV host, hasn't she? Yeah, of course, yeah. But she's welcoming him on Zoom during lockdown of, to go. Yeah, exactly.

Andrew Maxwell. Yeah, so I'll be asked her about that as well. So that's something to look forward to. Perfect. Well, I'll tell you what, I imagine she's not been asked. I imagine she's been asked about celebrity traitors. Yeah.

But maybe not the other two. So it'd be good to cover new ground. Yeah, exactly. First question, don't worry about the kids. I'm a slippery. I'm a celebrity. I'm a celebrity. Let's get her on and bloody find out.

Yeah. Okay, here she is. Kate, go away. Hello. Hello. How nice to be here. We're very excited to have you on, Kate. We've been trying to get you for a little while,

but you're very busy. You're a very busy woman. Do you know what you are, Kate? You're verging on national treasure these days. No, I'm not verging on a national treasure. Oh, you're there? I have a slightly crumbling institution, to be fair. I find myself strangely drawn.

You know, you get things bombarding you. My algorithm is really disturbing online. So I'm increasingly getting things about preserving. old buildings, which is a sign of age. And I find myself going between that and the TikTok shop for aging creams. And the two things are merging into one. So, yeah. How's your experience on the TikTok shop, Kate?

Because I'm having a terrible time with some incredible tap that if I saw in real life would never buy, but I'm being seduced by the instant satisfaction of ordering it. So I'm really new to TikTok. I decided to launch myself on an unsuspecting TikTok public. just for celebrity traitors. I thought, come on, if you're going to do it, you might as well do it now, because there's a whole world

that may be more interested vaguely because I'm on celebrity traitors. Of course, it's completely addictive. It's what everyone says. The experience of TikTok shop, I think, is a little bit like a pharmacy when you're on holiday. You know, when you went with your parents

to, like, Devon or somewhere? And there was very little in the village. It was gorgeous, actually. It's sort of a place I'd love to go to now. but when you're a kid, perhaps less so. And you go into the farm instead of having myself looking at hair clips and products that you would never normally look at

just while your parents get some sight like, I don't know, sun creamed or something. And I find myself doing that too. I think, oh, actually I need a projector. Really TVs are out and projectors are in now. Yeah, I must look at this project of it. Of course, it's nonsense, isn't it? But it's very seductive.

Obviously, we chat about parenting on this. You've got two teenage kids. What ages are they now? So 16 and 19. So the boy that lit the baby has turned 16 and the daughter is 19 at uni. Can we first relate that to celebrity traitors? We will. Right.

Okay. I know. Are you bored of talking about it yet? No. God, no. I'm the sort of person that in 10 years' time is going to be going, do know I was once on celebrity traitors

costing people in the street what can I ask firstly that because that must be have been the big decision when you got offered it right because obviously it's a big show you don't know how big it's going to be

but you know the normal one's big but is it a situation where you're losing touch with your kids for two weeks yeah so that was really difficult actually that was the only challenge because obviously, initially when I was offered it,

I don't get offered a huge amount, let's say that first of all. You're here, Kate. You're a spag ball in Mars Singer. You're right, actually. You're right. When it was secret, celebrity traitors for ages, I came obviously first out in Mars Singer, a spag ball. Brilliant fun, though.

And then won Celebrity Bake Off. So I said to everybody, it wasn't Sleburgy Bekov, it wasn't Mars singer, I can say no more. In other words, it wasn't first or laugh. So, yeah, no, it was very tricky with that because it's obviously been a grim old time. Yeah, of course. I don't think you can really ever say, oh, we're sorted now. But I definitely felt like it was a really tricky period.

When I said yes, it was quite a sort of calm period. And then things kicked off with my daughter and things are tricky with my son. but I do have an amazing sister-in-law called Auntie Dye, who is phenomenal and also an obsessive fan of traitors. And she said, do you know what? And she hadn't been able to visit for a long time because she had her own health problem. She said, look, I was saying to myself,

if I come next time, I'm going to come for a long period. And we also thought I'd be first out and murdered because I wanted to be a faithful. Because it could be like two and a half weeks or two days, couldn't it? you want to why did you want to be a faithful? Well, I now realize, of course, that was one of my first and one of many errors. Because in a way, I had this idea. I knew I couldn't look people in the eye and lie.

I've always been terrible at that. And I know Alan... Well, he didn't even, did he? You actually did say. You can lie, the blessing. But I just thought, oh, that's going to be so difficult. There's no way that I could look people in the eyes and like, oh, so I can't. kind of think there's something about trust and delivering the news where if you can lie that

convincingly then i don't know i just think it's not a good thing so i thought i can't do that but i didn't really get how much fun it was to be a traitor because when you watch the civilian one it just looks horrific being a traitor because they're all crying and i guess there's so much money at state life I've done you money. And, you know, you're murdering people that you know if they won the money, it would change their lives and the lives of them. Yeah, I thought there's no way I can get involved any of that. But what is being delicious, I think, about the Celebrity Traitors series

is there's just been a little bit more mischief. It was very feel good. It was very feel good. Yeah. It was beautiful, feel good TV. And I'd say the two moments where that really came across are Alice. crying at the end, which is just unbelievable. Yeah.

And I've got to admit I went. I went. You cried. Of course I cried because I'm a living human being. You're very in touch your emotions, Josh. If anything, I'm too in touch, Rob. We need a bit of space. And also, Kate, I thought it was you talking about how you'd had such a tough time.

and this had done so much for you. And it felt like such a, because obviously everyone knows what you've been through. And it felt like no one expected that from the traitors. And I imagine you didn't expect that from the traitors. No, I didn't at all. I didn't at all. And I think there was just something,

once I sort of mentally thought, okay, there's no contact, I can't do anything. And the auntie die was established. And is there a rule? Is there like, do they say if X happens, if your daughter says, I have to speak to? What's the kind of, is? Yeah, there is. They would let it to.

And we did have that arrangement because she said, look, I just have to know I can get hold of you, understandably. And I said, yes. So there is. So they can call, they have contact numbers. They have their contact numbers. And they have contact numbers with kind of a welfare producer. Right. And they can get hold of you if there was, I mean, obviously if there was some, you know,

because other people in the cast were having, everybody's got stuff going on in their lives, haven't they? Well, we've all seen the Angie Bowie on Big Brother clip. That's the absolute class. Right. So, you know, if you have to get through, you have to get through. Yeah. So, yeah, so that was a kind of reassuring thing.

Did you feel like you had a bit, you know, when you was in the traitors, because you didn't have, you have so much responsibility, you know, you've got your two children, what you've went for and still going through is in everyone's mind and knows about it. But in that room, all you had to do was be a faithful or a traitor and play a game. And did you feel like a freedom of that? Yeah.

Because you're so famous and people will come to you in the street, I imagine daily to remind you about stuff that's gone on, you know, that is not in your control and can blindside you. It was that sense of freedom for you in there then. Yeah, there was a huge of freedom. And also just the joy of play. I mean, it sounds a little bit heavy, I suppose. But when you've sort of lived with real life, life and death. Yeah.

You know, on a daily basis. Do you know what I mean? And there was like years of phone calls from doctors day, may not make it through the night and all of that. And I don't want to sound heavy. You know, that is real life, life or death. So therefore, it does help you to put into context of it. Also, you know, it's very intense in there.

And I think in a way that helped me because obviously, A, everybody was suspicious of me and attacked me from day one. But B, also, everybody just laughed at me for being ridiculous. And there's sort of two ways to go with that. But you either kind of get a bit flustered. Some people got flustered about things. But I kind of just thought, well, actually, do you know what?

It's really lovely to laugh at myself. Yeah, that's what I loved about it. And I love to my genuine ridiculousness. Because, you know, for a long time it's been a feeling of sort of holding the world up, you know, with a tight grip. So to be able to go, you are, you know, when Alan sort of says, do you think that top needs any more bows to be able to laugh and say yeah i think it could do with more it's such a ridiculous thing and then we're all laughing it was just a lovely world on nonsense

you know what i mean yeah yeah um which was great and having the chance to play and also what a group of people to be in with them every single one of them are just sort of such big personalities have done so much in their lives in all sorts of different areas so i found the whole thing just a roller coaster of a fascinating learning about them and seeing the way people deal with things in their lives because you get very insular when you're caring. You're just kind of obviously looking inward. Have done those plug deaths? Have we done the medication? What's the temperature like today? You're looking really into the minutiae inward. And suddenly it was just like sort of looking out and going, my gosh, you've done that. And extraordinary. And what was that like? So yeah, it was an

incredible, it was an incredible thing, albeit, you know, in a very silly game. Yeah. Who's the best friend you've made from it? Oh, it's hard to say, really. I mean, I do love them. I think Jonathan and Alan, I loved a bit. I love them both to bits. Yeah, love me guys.

I love them all. They were all brilliant in different ways. And obviously, the ones that stayed in longer, you had more time with. Love Tom Daly. Tom Daly's knitted me a hat. God bless him. I might have it here. Do you want me to go and get it?

Yeah, go and get it. Hang on. So this is, this is knitted from the fair and... I'm like, have it here. You got it within one second. I know it is... Well, it was in my hand... It was in my handbag.

It gets to read bare. Look, how cool is that? Oh, look at that flabbergasted. He said flabbergasted. He's looking that. That's amazing. It arrived yesterday. And I haven't really stopped wearing it.

I'm so excited. So, yeah, you know, Stephen Frye, I mean, honestly, Claire Boulding, they're all amazing. And also people like Ruth, I can't imagine spending sort of focus time with Ruth. When would that have ever happened, you know? What did your kids make of it? Did you watch it with them? Wow.

Were you nervous about the edit? And do you think it was a fair edit? I think it was a fair response. It was a fair representation. Unfortunately. It was a fair representation. You came across brilliantly. I, when you went out, I messaged you and I don't know you,

but I was like, I'm going to message Kate Goway to say how brilliantly you came across. Because I just thought there was so much goodness and so much positivity. And I think the worst thing about people in the public eye is people that take themselves too seriously. That's the worst crime. And you were the opposite of that. You were a laugh and laughing at yourself is such a positive thing. So you came across brilliantly, I thought.

Well, that's very kind. for you. That's fine. I was really chuffed to get your message. I thought, oh, bless him. He doesn't know me, but he's not, you know, he's not, uh, he's not, uh, he's not judging. So this is a good start. No, I was judging. You're brilliant. A positive judgment. A good judgment. We love that. Um, yeah, with the kids. So obviously they're fans. I mean, you know, there are many youngsters that aren't fans on it, aren't there? It's just completely

sucked in it. So they're very excited. So the first, so I did watch it with them. So I wore they were like, oh God, this is going to be so embarrassing. So it was, we're aired just as Darcy was three weeks into a, to starting university. Can you imagine? Oh, my God. You barely cut from the precious week hang over. You've made a few tentative friends. You know, the whole thing's all quite fragile.

And has she gone away to uni, to live with people? Gone away. She's living away from home. So yeah. Oh, my word. So she ran me up and said, okay, Mom, everybody's like, worked out. in celebrity trader. So I'm going to host a celebrity trader party

for the first episode and invite loads of people to make some new friends. So she, so in their hall of residence. So they had this big set up in whatever it is the common room or they're waiting. She phoned me at the end of that first episode absolutely

horrified or maybe it's I cannot believe you've done this to me. First of all, what's the deal with the hats? I've been telling you since primary school, they are preposterous. When you please listen to me. Everybody's laughing at me because people are taking it to me. And secondly, you're up against Nico for banishment. She's like, he is the single most popular person in the whole band.

You know, they're all obsessed with Nick. I mean, you know, we all are. He's brilliant, aren't he? Isn't he? And he said, and he said, and I don't know what to wish for. Because I don't really want you to be out. And then, but also if he's out, no one, none of my friends are ever going to speak to me again. I said, we're off against each other.

And then she said for the whole of that week, everybody saw we would kind of like do that slightly headcock thing and go, hi, oh, nice to meet you. Oh, your mum. So that first week was, I think, quite torturous for her. But then she owned it. But you knew it was going to come good in your head. In your head, you know, I was going to stay in. but I also knew that meant Nicco was going because obviously it was all filmed in a Vardt.

I can't remember that. So I, so you, I watched it obviously, but obviously it all blurs into one of it. You were the, there was a cliffhanger with you and Nico. Because I just remember him going. Yeah, so the first murder we know somewhat spectacularly was, was below. Oh, my God. We all remember that, yeah.

Or shot. And that was the blamberdard. I don't. I think it was genuinely shocking. Yeah. We were so shocked. And obviously, Now we know it was Alan.

Oh my God. I mean, the genius of that. The producers must have just thought we cannot believe this is happening. Obviously, they have no control. And then the second episode on the Thursday was Nico and I up to be banished was the cliffhanger.

Oh, my word. So, yeah, yeah. But she got into it with the friends once Nico had gone. They loved it, yeah, and they absolutely love them. And did she know that you weren't going to be banished? You can be honest with us, Kay. No, no, no, no.

But she must have known that you'd been away for two weeks. Wouldn't you just come home if you could... So first of all, what they tell you initially, which is quite helpful actually, is that they're going to... In fact, they do with the civilian traitors, as they call it. They keep you there for the whole time. So, you know, like I'm a celebrity.

Like I'm a celebrity. Exactly. So you don't... Although with I'm a celebrity, you do know people have gone out, don't you? But it's the same thing where you have to stay. You have to stay there. You can't keep Jonathan Ross in Inverness for no.

money not filming. You need nine horses to hold him back. It would walk home. But also I think they realised what would you do? Would you literally carry on keeping them in a room because Inverness is so tiny? I mean literally they weren't going to say who was in there and then they suddenly realised that

Inverness Airport is really small. So there was no way they were going to have all these random people landing at Inverness Airport and people think, why Stephen Fry and Jonathan Ross and all were suddenly deciding to go to Inverness on the same day.

It's almost like a really positive Epstein's Island, isn't it, in Venice now, where celebrities go to one small place for good? So, yes, I don't know what I'm saying now. Yeah, so they told us all we'd have to stay there. So that helped. So I said we'd have to stay there for the whole time. And in India, what

they did is they brought people home overnight. And then you had to sort of like not leave your house and not work or anything. lives. I'd love to be and Josh trying to do that to Rose and Lou before you did it. Yeah, can't do the school run actually because I've got trying to get a bit of a low profile. You'd love that, would you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd have to do the bins again, Lou. It's a get caught. Yeah. Would I want to get caught for my job? Very serious job, actually. That would go down really well. Yeah. Yeah, and also she was away. So, and they didn't want to know,

neither of them wanted to know. And also, I don't think anybody, I don't think they quite, you know, they're really healthily, I like to look at it. Actually, it's mainly just, they don't really care until it becomes like something that all their friends are caring about. They don't care what I do at all. Something's been amazing for you and probably for the kids as well. I don't want to speak out of term, but obviously what you guys went through during like lockdown

and stuff like that was so in the public eye and it almost grew out of an acorn into this big overwhelming giant tree of news and public interest. But now, like, you know, for her, She's walking down at uni, people go, your mum's celebrity. Yeah. As opposed to, you're tragic.

Yeah. And I think she, and actually, to be fair, that has been really positive because she said, oh, when I go to uni, I just don't want people to know about the past

and I don't want people to, I don't want to be a charity case, I want to try and, not that, you know, people caring is not a lovely thing. I think she said, of course, it all comes from a good place.

They just want to do it. But now, yeah, you're right. It's more to do with, you know, your mum has humiliated you by being, A, a bit of a ditsy idiot, a lot of a ditsy idiot, they're wearing stupid hats and see not be able to fight away out of a broom covered, you know, so constantly flavocasted. So I guess it's a different kind of embarrassment. It's a more normal teenage parent embarrassment. No one loves to hat their moms wear. Do you know, get any uni student go, do you like your mum's closed?

No, I'm not going to go, great. No. And so what was it like with her going to uni? Because that is a big, big deal for your kid to go to uni, empty nest syndrome and all that kind of thing. I think it was incredibly emotional because, first of all, we didn't think she was going to, well, we assumed she was going to fail away levels, basically.

And she didn't do brilliantly, brilliantly, but she did a lot better than anybody, including the school thought she would. Because, you know, it all come, with Derek passing away and then the ballout and everything. And she'd missed a lot of, you know, lower six. She'd missed a huge amount of school and stuff. So we didn't expect it.

And then it sort of all came good. So there was a sort of big relief on the, it's quite a close window, isn't it, between results and going? So there's a big relief from the results. And then heading off to uni, and then the, it was really emotional. I felt very emotional. I didn't want her to feel. but I think we both felt that dad wasn't there, basically.

It was a very conscious feeling, you know, when you're watching the parents or carrying the boxes in. Of course, not every parent has got both parents there, but it does feel like it to you. And, you know, we're just struggling with the cases and everything. And you just think, oh, and also thinking he would be so proud and then actually leaving her, she was fine. I did have a really good week

because I thought we should be going the two of us Derek and I should be going now to have a bite to eat and to drive home both emotional but also having a little pat on the back thinking okay we got her there you know we got it through and instead you think

oh I just felt sort of cross that he wasn't there but you kind of both hope that both Darcy and I think he's sort of watching over him In fact, Danty does this a lot. Anything good that happened, she said that was Dad. And this can range from suddenly finding she's got a festival ticket

when they were all sold out. She'd go, that's Dad. That's Dad. And they're like, you know, you could just imagine him if you had the power to control the world from Heaven, sorting out a Reading ticket. They don't be his best priority. And you're probably thinking, like, actually,

I popped into Capital and after Jordan North and Sean Welby for a spare ticket. Yeah, fine. You want to give him the credit. Yeah, exactly. Just lent on them from above. So yeah, so anything good that happens, she goes, that's Dad, honestly,

or she's panicking to try and submit something and the computer's not working. And then she wants, and I submitted it. So that was Dad helping me. And I like that. I think that's a nice way of her feeling like he's still taking care, you know, which is a nice thing. So it's sort of there.

And I think she feels. that he would be, you know, very proud. It's been quite a year for you then, isn't it? I know. Would be uni and then slip traders. I know. I know. I know.

And then Sun did his GCSEs in the summer as well. And that was pretty traumatic. But he sort of got himself into a place to do what he wants to do, which is sort of music and acting. So you sort of feel like you think, okay, all right, we're limping through gradually. But it's like, I'm sure it's like it with you too. It's sort of like you don't, you sort of have to kind of celebrate the wins

because you know your turn around next time and there's, your turn around for a second. And it's like, oh, okay, you've fallen apart. That's what I feel. I say, if the two of you could just try and do some kind of relay, that would really have fun. I'm like Darcy is doing fine So I'm like, Darcy, if you could stay doing fine

Until we've got Billy a little bit more sorted That would be helpful And then Billy, you can be fine And then Darcy can fall apart But that's juggling, isn't it? It's such a difficult time anyway That 16-year-old and 19-year-old On top of everything

And also, you know, on your own doing it It's sort of like it's a lot of pressure But yeah, it sounds like you're absolutely flying though Well, I don't know about that I don't like being a single parent If I'm being honest, I think I just, I don't. tell you what I miss most about being a single parent is that, you know, even if your partner

is driving you absolutely crackers, which happened a lot with Derek and I, probably equally, but I feel like he drove me mad a lot. But even if they're driving you mad, it's just like you both have that shared love of the child where they do something stupid, but you both find it cute, or they do something infuriating, but there's an underlying acknowledgement of forgiveness I don't know, it's hard to explain that you only get that from those two and feel like it. So, yeah, I've always said, oh my God, I so admire single parents. I could never be one. And I think, curse you, curse you, world.

But yeah, you've just got to get on with it, haven't you? And so you now, it's so difficult because those A levels and GCSEs, it must seem so unimportant. Do you know what I mean with what you've been through? I know what you mean. I know what you mean, but you also, I know what you mean, you sort of think, oh gosh, you know, if we're all just sane and, you know, if they're polite. But you know that actually it's not about, I mean, crakey, nobody's hoping for A-stars and nines and whatever. You just want them to have access to choice, don't you? So you want them to have access to choice and you want them to feel good about themselves.

even though we all know actually that things come along in life and it's never really actually to do with passing a exam, is it to do with your attitude? I just say I don't really mind as long as you're enthusiastic and you get involved. Just get involved. Don't fail and don't drop out because you just couldn't be bothered. You know, just get involved.

And then if you keep trying stuff, eventually you find something that excites you, don't you? Definitely. There's so much pressure on kids. In my daughter, she's only like seven, and they were like, oh, you need to, your handwriting, your Bs and Ds, the lines in them aren't straight enough. They're going too far to the left. And the teacher's only like giving a slight bit of feedback. But then my daughter's like, oh, God, she's saying that it's not right and I'm not doing it.

And I went, can I tell you? So I don't care what you do with your bees and it. It don't really matter. She went, yeah, it matters to the teacher. I'm like, yeah, but let her care. Do you care? You don't have to, it doesn't, you know, you can allow people and slightly disappoint them. You know, yeah, fair enough.

She'd rather you did that. It hurts your hand when you do it. Maybe you just don't do that. Maybe you find your own way. I know that's good, but then isn't it great that she wants to please the teacher? It would be much worse if you were dragging her into school or you want. Of course.

You don't want to be a full people pleaser and too pleasing, you know, because then it's like she's beating herself up too much. Otherwise you end up like me. You end up like me, Rob. If you get too much of people, please that. Are your D's and Bs perfectly straight? My handwriting's a fucking shambles, actually. is it? Yeah, but that's just for my, it's deteriorated over the years.

You don't write anymore, do we? That's another thing with kids I find. When they're straight to the exam, they get really bad hand-aid because they just don't write. No, it's, it's, um, yeah, physically putting pens of paper happens so rarely. Well, that's, I find it, I struggle with their homework and stuff like that. Because as you were saying, like, you know, you don't enjoy being a single parent. I think when you've got your partner, you realize you subconscious divvy up jobs that suits the other one more.

See, if me and Lou weren't together, and it was just me on my own, like there's certain things that I'd find it easier and excel at as a parent. But then like, I literally can't do their homework. Like, I just cannot do it. So Lou takes a lead on that. So if I was left to do that,

I'd just be so at sea. And then not only is your workload double, you're having to do stuff that you feel insecure and vulnerable and not very confident in. And then that affects your self-confidence because you feel like you're not being a good pair, because normally you'd hand that over to the one that finds that easier. Yeah, I know exactly right.

You can be good cop, bad cop, can't you when you have a pair again? You can flip who's the good cop and the bad cop at each time. Whereas when you're on your own, you kind of being a bit schizophrenic. Also, especially with my son, it's because he was the younger one. You know, certainly when Derek was first sick and was in the coma for that year, I just kind of thought, let's just be happy and just keep ourselves happy. So I was quite bad in the sense that I was definitely sort of saying, oh, we can't get online for that.

Just don't worry about that learning. Let's put on, let's watch Nativity for the 140s. Which is one of his favorite movies. You know, and I didn't care about it. And then I suddenly thought, oh, my God, we're now at GCSEs. So he found it really hard because I was going, come on, Bill. You've got to, you've got to focus. You've got to do this.

And he's looking at me as if to say, why have you become a monster? In fact, you said that, yeah, you know, what happened to come on? Here's some chocolate. Let's watch a movie. Mommy, I don't like this, mommy now. So, yeah, I think it is, isn't it? You sort of divvy it up and you let someone be the bad guy. How do you deal with, because obviously you're supporting them?

Do you feel you have to remain really strong in their company? Or do you feel like, like, how do you play that? Well, I'm not sure that I've got a particularly good recipe for it. definitely I feel like I had to stay very strong. So they didn't feel like the world was crumbling. I was very conscious of that. And I know that Derek was very conscious of that. In fact, you know, when he first went into the ambulance,

he said, you know, go inside, take care of them. And when he came home, he was like, you know, if Bill was calling for something or Darcy was coming in. And then I would say, Darcy, come in here. I'm just dealing with dad. And she would come in. and then there would be a, and I say, well, talk about it in front of her. She said, such and such and such.

And I want to go out to it. And mum has said no and try and incorporate Derek into that feeling of stability. Because what you don't want to be is a puddle on the floor. Because I just think, one of the things I think, my mum and dad, I never heard them row. Actually, I'm sure they had some absolute barnies, but I never heard them row. And I always had this feeling, you know, like when we went camping in Pembrokeshire, for our annual holiday. I didn't really know what was going to be involved.

I certainly, you know, when they were struggling to put the tent up, I didn't realize, God, that must have been quite stressful for them, because to me it was just, this is what we did on a holiday, it was all going to be okay. You know, the tent would go up, we'd go inside, there would be some food on the private stove that we prepared. I never had a feeling that things weren't going to be okay, which I think is a real gift because I don't think,

I think a lot of children don't have that and definitely my children don't have that. And I really am sad about that because, you know, I can't say with confidence, oh, don't worry about it, it'll be fine because they go, no, no, sometimes it's not fine. Sometimes whatever you do, and however hard you try and however hard, you know, dad worked, it wasn't fine. And I think that shifted something in them where I feel like I have to be really secure and rock solid. So, for instance, promises, I'm just really clear.

They'll say, do you think we can do this mom? I'd really want to go to this movie. I was like, I'm not sure. So I'm not going to promise it until I've got the tickets. I feel like a calm waiver on promises. You know what I mean? Before I'd have been like, yeah, we can go to that. Criky, I don't know when we're going to do that.

It would be what was happening in my head. But now I'm just like, no, don't say unless you can deliver because I think they need to rebuild a sense of trust. Of course, yeah. Totally. That's a very love answer. No, it's true.

Totally. Yeah, yeah. Enlightening. Especially because, you know, now they're becoming young men and women. They're moving into that different where they can go, have frank conversations with you, you know.

Because even with my kids now, you'll say stuff like, yeah, we'll do that next week or whatever, and then you think, oh, they're three or four, they'll forget. They'll forget. And it comes around. And even at 8 and 10, they're like, no, dad, you said that last week. You've done this twice now. And it'll present me like a solicitor.

Time's done. I've done it wrong. And these are very frivolous things, I promised them. Whereas, like, you know, the things that you've been through have been, like, much bigger, more brutal things they've experienced. So. But you're right. It is about feeling delivery, isn't it?

But I also try and say now, like, we were, we went to capital jingle ball, brilliant, lovely thing because I work at Smooth that you get the chance to go to that. And I was like, I'm not quite sure what we're going here on the tube. And Bill was like, and I said, Bill, come off your phone, please. Help me concentrate because I'm not sure I'm going. and he just said, oh, okay, rather than, I think a year ago, I'd have been trying to desperately work it out so that I didn't show there was any wobble,

but now I'm a bit like, no, come on Bill, help me, let's focus on this together. And they do respond to that. Oh, that's brilliant, yeah. Which I think is something, yeah, I have got to do because otherwise you're just constantly frazzled, don't you? And you have to say, can't do that now, Bill? You have to give me five minutes.

And he was like, I don't know your five minutes. they always take hours? I was like, yeah, fair enough. That's a good point. Could I ask you something about radio, Kate? Yes. And you've got another one about I'm a celebrity as well you wanted to ask.

Yeah, the one of the radio is you always get motorbikes between Good Morning Britain and smooth. Yes. And the men on the motorbikes, whenever I say who have you had on, they've always had Kate Garraway on. Oh, God. You love a motorbike, don't you?

I live on the back of those motorbikes. They've become a second home. The first time I used it was when Amy Winehouse passed away. And her dad, that's how long ago it was. Her dad happened to be in New York or something. And they said, we want to go out and do an interview. And so I flew out in like a 36-hour sprint, interviewed him, fed the interview back, and then got the flight back without having slept.

And I arrived with huge ankles because I hadn't actually gone flat. 36 hours. But also, I got off the plane thinking, oh, I'm going to go home to bed now. And I was met by a guy called Kerry who runs limo bike. Oh, yeah, I know, Carrie. Lovely Kerry, lovely, Kerry, saying, hi, I'm here to meet you. And I said, oh, okay, that's lovely. I'm thinking, cracky, I mean, there's a lot of leather for an Addison Lee. Anyway, we went outside and there was his bike. And I was like, what are you talking about? They said, oh, they've decided they want you to go into the studio to talk around the interviews.

so that you can give it some life. I was like motorbites. I can't go on it. And it was really raining as well. And he said, but you know that weird adrenaline thing when somebody in work says you've got to do something? You just can't think of how you could say no.

So I just always say yes. Got me into a lot of trouble. Anyway, got on the back of it, pulled out of Heathrow, and I said, you're going to have to go really slowly. And he said, look, we're on intercom. Just tell me if there's a problem. So we pulled out and I was like, too fast, too fast.

I was like, eight were going nine miles now. I was like, okay. So we then headed on to the motorway and it was horrific. There were lorries going past as rainy. All you can see is your feet below your, you know, down in the road whizzing past. And I just screamed. I screamed solidly for 21 minutes. And then after that 21 minutes, he said,

I'm just going to turn the intercom off for a while. I think his ears were bleeding, right? And then we came into London and the sun came up. And I thought, this is actually quite nice. You're just gliding through the traffic. And then I've been on them ever since. Yeah, I've been on them ever since. I mean, it's a weird thing.

It's like this weird kind of pulpit confession. I know everything about all of them. I know when one's guinea pig is sick or, you know, the whole thing. It's easy to talk to someone. You can't see them. Exactly. You're connected because you're on the bike. It's a weird.

helmet off. I'd walk past them in the street probably. Yeah, it's hard to recognise. I've done it a couple of times. Yeah, although what I used to do is when their kids were little, I'd walk them to school at the days that I wasn't doing GMB and get one from home. And so the guy would come to the school gate. And I would get on the back of a motorbike and whizz off.

And it just made me seem so exciting. And then Derek would go in and do like, you know, cutting up paper day or something and they'd say, oh, we see your wife, but do you ride a motorbike? And they'd go, no, and they'd all go, oh, oh, okay. She's having an affair. With five different motorbike men.

Derek wasn't around. I was disappearing off for an illicit affair with a bike. Josh, what's your other question for Kate? Oh, yeah. She's got to show us, Kate. Sorry, yes. No, no, no, it's fun. So I wonder whether you won't even remember this, right?

but on the first episode of I'm a celebrity when you did I'm a celebrity. Right, yeah. And me and some friends saw this and we've quoted it ever since, right? So do you remember your, I can't remember where you are, but that Andrew Maxwell,

it arrives on a speedboat. Yes. Yes. I remember. Do you remember what you said? Do you remember what you said? No. Right.

So he is about 50 yards in the distance. distance, right? And there's a small man, isn't it? He's a big guy. And you, it cuts to you, looking out into the distance and you say, oh, it's the Irish comedian Andrew Maxwell. And it felt like to us, the producers had said, quite a lot of people might not know who Andrew Maxwell is.

Kate, could you just say, it's the Irish comedian Andrew Maxwell, so that it's clear for the rest of the country? Can you remember this? I can definitely remember saying I'm not sure I'm allowed to say whether it was prompting. Does it sound like

the sort of thing people say in normal life? Or does it sound like the sort of thing of producer might have suggested? Yeah, we'll leave that with you. Yeah, well, yeah, fair enough that you can't comment either way. He's a funny guy, isn't he, Andrew? He's brilliant, Andrew. Thank you, Kate.

Genuinely, you are incredible. What you've done, You were still like, and the way you've kind of came through what you've done and the way you talk about it is so powerful for people. And also when you're on celebrity traitors, you just came across as a breath of fresh air. It was brilliant. That's you. Kate, we always ask everyone to find a question about their partner as a parent.

What is it Derek did that used to, you know, make you feel in awe of him as a parent? And then what was the thing that used to day to day frustrate you and annoy you? Minor quibble. Your minor quibble. Your minor quibble. Well, the minor quibble is really easy. It's the classic one. Is it parenting or is it just, you know, living with somebody?

So there's two things, really. Oh, I'm on a roll now. One was the classic bringing a plate to the vicinity of the dishwasher. Yes. As though, you know, just being in the vicinity meant there was going to be some kind of weird quantum force that got it. A gravitational pull it in. So that was one. The other one was just the classic thing of allowing the kids to go completely crazy.

So you'd come in from work. They'd be there really happy. Sometimes when Darcy was little, they'd both just be in their pants. They would just be in their pants because everything had got so messy. They would be a part of clothes by the washing machine. and everybody'd be really happy, and he would be like, oh, we've had such a great day. Right, I'm going to bed now. And you'd be like, right, okay, okay.

I'm glad you're really happy, but I'm now going to pick up the carnage. So there was that feeling of very much fun dad. Yes. You had to be the kind of like practical mum. The thing I was, I think, probably most in awe of was the complete ability to be present that he always had with the kids. It was just extraordinary. You could be anywhere.

You could be at checkers. You could be in any kind of function or a big business meeting. And he would just somehow always manage to be present. Whether it be he'd had to take them into his office when he had his business. They would, he just managed to make it an exciting thing for them. And holidays, he was incredible. I was funny enough, I was turning some stuff out to get the decorations up the other day. And he used to print out, you know, Billy and Darcy's holiday adventure, wherever we were going.

One time we went to three nights to a Premier Inn. It was brilliant, actually, in Guildford, because there was a soft plane nearby they wanted to go to. Still one of their most favourite long weekends. And he just put loads of little things in of what we were going to do. So I think it's that ability to be present, even when there's chaos going on, that I always really admired. Oh, OK, this has been incredible. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Yeah, it's been brilliant. You've been a brilliant guest. Thank you so much for doing it. No problem at all. No problem at all. It's been lovely to chat. Kate Garraway. What a great guest.

Love her. That was great fun, that on it. She's brilliant. Brilliant. She's amazing, you know. Like, it must be so overwhelming for everyone to know what's happened to you and your family in quite extreme detail. And then, you know, caroling your life and people coming up to and stuff like that. But she deals with it really well, I think.

And she speaks so well. Yeah. It's so hard. It's hard going through that anyway, but not every single person on the street knowing. You know what I mean? Totally. Totally.

She's doing a brilliant job there. And I loved her in Traitors because I just thought she was fun. It's a TV show. Have a laugh. Right, Josh, I'll see you next time. See you next time. Who Parenting Hell listeners, recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whitickham here.

I have got a new podcast, Josh Whitickam's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it, I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me, and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics.

I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do. for drier topics. See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real.

When a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from you two, and David Haslehurst, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are,

and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realized you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiffnecks will learn, lose next will laugh.

New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitakam, available everywhere from the 1st of January.