Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S11 Ep41 Russell Howard
Episode Date: January 11, 2026Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian and presenter - Russell Howard Russell Howard tours his brand-new stand-up show Don’t Te...ll The Algorithm across the UK & Ireland from 22nd January to 29th November, including six dates at the London Palladium Russell Howard's Five Brilliant Things podcast episodes are released weekly on Wednesdays and are available on all major podcast platforms. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk Follow us on instagram: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
And I'm Josh Whitickham.
Welcome to Parent in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
each week, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping.
Or hopefully how they're not coping.
And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course,
tales of parenting woe.
Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing.
Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with
Jago.
Can you say Rob?
Rob.
Beckett?
Beckett.
Can you say Josh?
Josh.
And Whittaker?
Welcome.
Well done.
Welcome.
There we go.
That's Jago.
Lovely.
Very, very well done.
5-month-old son, Jago.
I doubt your guess where we're from,
as I don't have a hint of accent,
despite living here my whole life.
Birmingham.
Perfect for our guest drop.
Bristol.
Yes.
The Bristol accent is a life choice though, isn't it?
It really is.
Russell Howard hasn't really got it, has he?
I think you can choose to get rid, I think.
Can you indeed?
Yeah, I think so.
I think people from Bristol make a decision.
Do you?
You double down or you slide in.
Which would you make the decision to do?
It depends what I'm doing.
I've been a listener since I was pregnant
and I've been eagerly awaiting the day
that Jago can have a go at your intro
and it actually be intelligible.
I love the podcast.
I'm so grateful to have something I can tune into every week
that helps ease the guilt I feel
for my various parenting choices,
mainly those involving screen time.
It's like having a parenting support group
on the drive to work.
Thank you for keeping it going.
Your England's best agony uncles,
all the best Maddie England's in fucking trouble then.
There we go.
We haven't had any dilemmas, have we sent in?
I think people realize me not very good at answering them.
not very good at answering them. I don't know. I just ask someone else. I'll tell you,
I'll get that yore now, mate. Yeah, that's the darling. Save it for the record.
You wait till my pockets, just fill of it. It's filmed. Yes, so basically, this, my daughter, my two daughters,
I was with my two daughters and a few of my younger daughter's friends. Now, I've got a really funny
photo of my daughters when we was in Tokyo of one asleep on the train and one had drunk too many
drinks, like fizzy drinks, and needed a wee and sat there, it looked like she's about to burst,
right?
She's sort of got her arms all tents and look into sight.
It's really funny picture that we sort of have a little laugh at.
And it came up on my phone.
My daughter saw it.
And then she was laughing.
And then my other daughter said, oh, can I see and show everyone?
And I said to my oldest, do you want everyone to see?
And she was like, no, not really.
Because she was like, it's funny for us as a family.
But she didn't think she wanted loads of people just laughing at her in this photo.
Who are these people?
My younger daughter's friends.
Oh, right.
I think she just felt a bit like, oh, no, it's a bit much.
So I said, no, she doesn't want everyone to see it
and to laugh at it like that.
So then, because it's a photo of her
and she doesn't want everyone to see.
And then the younger one's like,
but it's a photo of me as well.
I'm in it.
I want to see it.
And I'm like, yeah,
but then I don't want to show you.
And then it feels like I'm excluding your friends.
I was like, let's just not look at the phone anymore.
And then the younger ones start sulking
that she can't see the phone.
And he's just like, I don't know what the right one.
What's the right thing to do here, Josh?
I think you've done the right thing to not show the photo.
Because the photo is laughing at the older one, isn't it?
Really.
Yes, because the other one's just not doing much.
And it's fine if she's in on the joke,
but she maybe doesn't want to share that with lots of people.
You've got to respect that as well.
Totally.
Totally.
I think you've done the right thing there, Rob.
But it is the classic situation where having two kids is very difficult
because sometimes you have to make a decision that's going to fuck one of them off.
It's not you versus them, as in not that parenting is you versus,
but it's not like, do I draw a line because I don't think they're,
should do this or or they do you know it's not like a decision where it's like this is me parenting one
child it's the decision of how do I mediate between two children that want different things and both
it's not like a yeah it's a different thing you've got to make a split second decision to decide your
stance and how you're going to implement it and make sure it's the right decision and then do that
immediately with life living people well exactly you know in law absolutely keep talking all of the laws
come from previous ruling,
well not all of them,
but laws come from previous rulings in courts, don't they?
So it'll become like a,
if there's a court case that makes a ruling,
then others use that ruling later on.
That's a bit like parenting.
So now you've delivered that rule.
That's showing that needs to be implemented going forward now.
That is now the rule going forward
because the case of daughter one versus daughter two
over photos shown to friends
is now the statute in the long term.
If they get to have a full trial,
like present evidence
and a judge make a final decision in their own quarters,
but I'm doing all that live.
Exactly. You're doing it straight away.
You're going, I think that is murder.
Just off the bat.
Yeah, immediately.
And you will be sentenced to death.
Now let's enjoy the rest of our day out.
Yeah, exactly.
So there you go.
Russell Howard, Rob.
Yes, Russell Howard.
Great guest. Dad.
Partly older dad as well.
He's in his mid-40s, isn't he?
You always think of him.
was about 28, Russell.
I know.
He had a kid at 43.
And what's quite interesting, he's already
super successful and now
integrating a child into that, as opposed
to having a child on the way up.
Should we bring on Russell?
Yes, this is Russell Howard.
Russell Howard, welcome.
Fucking hell, lads.
We should you want to do that again?
No, that seems to be it in this show.
We don't really give a shit, and the humans
are quite forgiving.
But given that you were sort of like a digital
Ant and Deck.
I was just thinking,
they very rarely speak over each other.
And do they ever have a rift?
I've never seen it.
That would go viral, wouldn't it?
Ant and Deck going,
do you want to stop stepping on my lines, Ant?
Yeah.
I mean, I think they might have had a couple of crosswords
when he crashed his car drunk into a roundabout,
but on screen, I think they're quite chilled.
Yeah, but you were implying he was in the back.
Yeah, yeah, he's always to his left.
Yeah, he's always to his left.
And if he's driving, he has to run alongside him sometime.
That's why he couldn't see his blind spot.
isn't it?
Exactly.
Well,
that's the problem, isn't it?
That you just go,
he's got me.
He's definitely got me.
To the point,
you know,
when they've got,
like,
you know,
you do your driver's license
and the guy's got the brakes
and he just presumed that
Anna had it over.
So,
do you know what I wanted to say,
Russell?
Because I don't know
if I've ever said this,
is that I saw one of your gigs
because it was kind of,
quite a big moment in my life.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I know.
I've got the same story.
I think you might have,
we might have been going to comedy
when Russell was in his too big
and too good for comedy clubs peak
and then was just roofing gigs.
You know, you're sort of too good
just to be doing 20 minutes
and you need longer and then you're just
cramming it all in. Tell yours first.
This is horrible starting of Rizzing him up.
I didn't want to start like this.
I don't remember that experience myself, Rob.
So I saw you at Ashton Court Festival.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, 2003.
My friend was at uni.
in Bristol and we went to that music festival and I didn't know who anyone was and John Richardson
was on and he did a kind of impression of a dolphin. Does that? Yes. Is that a thing? Yeah, he had a really
still doing that, he had a really, he had a really, yeah, John had a bit about remarkably,
given that he was sort of born and raised in Lancaster and to my knowledge, I've never seen a live
dolphin, had a really extensive and funny bit about dolphins. And,
It led up to this incredible impression of a dolphin.
And then suddenly you get like, it's quite a big tent.
It's probably about 500 Bristolians.
Yeah.
It was fucking hell.
That wasn't bad.
That actually sounded like a dog dog.
I'll tell you what.
He's got a serial killer's eyes,
but he's got a range of animal voices I've never seen in my life.
But yeah.
Well, thank you.
That's very sweet of you, Josh.
Well,
we'll go on to parenthood in a minute.
But that sort of follows on while,
I saw you up the creek and you just were doing 20 minutes,
I think on a Sunday.
But you had done a bit of,
I don't even think you'd done maybe a bit of telebot.
but not much, but you just came on.
And I've been going to up the creek a lot,
and you see a lot of the old school acts of their set routines,
and there's references from 20 years ago,
and then you've got the newcomers in the middle working out to do it.
But you just came on, and it was nonstop.
Bang, bang, and there wasn't a let up.
And then you're watching, going, oh, my God, this is just like nonstop.
And you're doing stuff that, because you're much similar to my age,
I could get a bit more than some of the older lads.
But for you now, though, like, because that kind of comedy club
or smaller theatre where you can be yourself in chat and throw lines out,
as Russell rather than the comedian.
How do you find being in an arena?
Because you've got, you know, you've got another arena tour.
You've been in arenas for years and years now.
Well, I'm not.
Is it possible to bring that in?
Or how do you find the difference between those two venues?
So I purposely kind of, I'm not really doing TV anymore.
So I was, I did arenas because I had to kind of fit a touring quite quickly when I was doing
telly.
And now I kind of do, so I'll do like four nights in the theatre.
So like, you're nice.
So I would, I would, I would,
I'd rather do that.
And then that way my wife and son can come up and we can kind of hang out in like...
So you're going to take them on tour?
Mate, I've done it.
I took them on tour to America.
I took them on tour to Europe.
We did like a tour bus.
It was incredible.
Oh, wow.
How old is your...
Is it one kid?
You got one?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, he's 18 months old.
18 months.
Yeah.
So he was, um, his, the first time he was on stage was the Sydney Opera House, which is pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
He did, uh, he did the warm up.
and was pretty good.
He hasn't found his voice yet, has he?
He's not quite.
He's very similar to his dad.
He's still working off the written stuff.
Yeah, exactly.
No, did you do?
To answer your question, I kind of,
I think those 2000-seater venues,
something like the Palladium or the kind of the Liverpool Empire,
those rooms where they're obviously massive,
but you can still be kind of small.
I think there isn't a bad seat in any of those venues,
even if you're sort of way at the time,
top. Whereas, like, I really loved doing arenas and there was so much fun. And it had to be this
kind of all-powerful monologue where you just like wallop them for like an hour and a half.
But creatively, you stand still. Or I did. I was never, I never felt like improvise on this age.
You've got to just give them what you've written. It's this kind of sort of ocean that's just
flowing and you're smashing it. And you can't then stop and bring it down. I've seen people do it.
And it's really impressive when you see,
I remember seeing Chappelle kind of busking at the O2,
which was wild.
But he's got such charisma that he was able to kind of make it.
And he was following Chris Rock.
Chris Rock had just done his set that he did on Netflix.
And then Chappelle basically just came on and went,
you're right?
And it was so compelling to see someone just dick about at the O2.
I suppose you can use the screens, though,
for the small moments and act outs in your face
and facial expressions.
because they zoom up.
But yeah, that's what I was saying
because it felt like you, you know,
the kind of act you are,
you're perfect to really get involved
and improvise all the way through like a 3,000.
Would you go to the audience now a bit more?
No.
No.
Don't you go to them anymore at all?
Well, it's just, it's been,
it's been ruined by all these kind of like crowd work sets,
don't you think?
Just, I find they're a bit more bullshit
of crowd now than they were
because they feel like they're part of the show.
Oh no, I just think I, like not to sound kind of
nostalgic for my youth but I you know you're you guys be the same there's no problem with that no
problem with that I'm built to air on it this is bread and butter you look at like you know Kitson and
ross nobel and jason and ross and ralce and Andrew Maxwell and these Phil Key like genuinely
brilliant improvisers whereas now it's kind of like you know what do you do your mum's a whore
yeah you know where you learn to a helicopter yeah but it's just it's just it's just it's
This is good stuff, guys.
I'm just getting it down if that's all right.
But it's stockies.
That's what blows my mind,
those kind of stock lines that you'd see jongler's acts doing
and now kind of done by a lot of kind of improvisational heavyweights on.
And I just, I don't know, it just, it makes me ick now.
Yeah.
If you're kind of, if something happens, I love it and you can kind of create something,
but I would never kind of go to somebody and sort of say,
what's your job, what do you do?
I always used to use the crowdwork as a pivot, really,
where I'll chat to them a bit, like to warm them upside.
and then get something out of them out of a babysitter
or being late for work or what time they've got to be up
and then spin it into the routine.
So then it looks like you've just got,
oh, and you're off.
And then once we're off, we're off.
Yeah, but then that, weirdly, that's what makes the gig.
I always call it that liquid funny.
So you have 15 minutes of liquid funny
that is so specific to the room
where some woman called Mandy has got a cat
and she's got to be back for the babysitter or whatever.
And then you're able to bring your material into the room.
But that could, it's so full.
the room. It can't go viral.
No, of course.
That whole idea of, I find it's so funny that you're improvising specifically,
not for the people in the room, but for people on the phone.
So you're just going, what do you do?
And you're kind of looking to this audience that aren't there.
And, you know, I just, it's not really for me.
I kind of, if things happen organically, let them go, but I don't really want to
berate.
And I also remember what it feels like to be in the front row and that panic of going,
oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, you know.
But some people love it, though.
I had a bloc him Michael put his hand up
when I'm Pete the pillow man
I'm Pete the pillow man
I'm like what the fuck
and three years ago
he was in the front row
because he was sat on a pillow
and I'd spoke to him
about this pillow
and he's Pete
and I was like
yeah I had a growth
but it's gone now
I'm like fucking hell
I'm like Pete
I think you should read Brad
as Pete the cancer survivor
not Pete the pillow man
yeah but that's lovely
and because you've done
a really nice thing with it
you didn't, that's what I mean,
it's when you can kind of turn moments into something sweet and funny and unique
rather than, right, let's just shit this out for the masses.
The worst father was,
but all the emcees did it when I was new,
there'd be two, when Brokeback Mountain came out,
and if there was a man in a sort of played or cowboys kind of shirt,
collared shirt of a check pattern on,
it would just be homophobic,
you gave them, like that kind of stuff because of broke that mountain.
I was stood there.
I was like, this is mental, but they're all doing it.
But can you imagine?
Can you imagine what would have happened if the guy went, yeah, no, I am.
Oh, for sure.
Fair enough.
It's just your boyfriend.
Yeah, it is actually.
Actually, it's my husband.
Yeah, well, you're married.
Yeah, yeah.
It's legal now.
Is it?
The touring's legal rights.
They're not going to believe this.
David Cameron.
So, Russell, you take your family on tour.
Yeah.
Like, what would your day be like that?
Do you feel like, because.
I've done that a bit and stuff like
but I find
are you literally with your son before the gig
or are you like right I need to shut off
I had a moment
just one of the oddest moments
who were doing a gig in
where were we? I think we were in Seattle
and because we were on a bus
so the bus would drive
from let's say Portland we did a show in Portland
what's that how big is this
like what a picture like
how much 12 is that for a family
oh so the way it works
it's called a star bus, right?
And I've done a bunch of these in America,
and I famously, in my head,
had, I had Dolly Parton's tour bus one year,
which was incredibly exciting.
And our driver, he was a guy called Cadillac Jack.
He'd come out of retirement to do this kind of one last tour,
and he used to drive Steve Martin.
So he had so many brilliant stories.
It was great.
Was he a huge, that Russell Howard fan,
then?
Was he just in some debt?
Why was he back down?
No, I think he was in there.
He was, he didn't know anything about stand-up other than he'd sort of told
with Steve Martin and just that he was like a mate of his.
And he'd been, he, because he was also, he was a Vietnam War veteran.
And he told me this fascinating story that, I mean, great in the dead of night when you're
driving to Minneapolis.
The, the, the US government gives veterans, I think four Viagra or six Viagra a month.
They kind of send them.
and he was basically bemoaning the government just like just can't get Jesus Christ like just
stop sending me Viagra do you know what I mean it's like I can't use all this damn stuff
like it feels like it feels like they really try to pressurize me to go out and try and bang women
and I can't do that anymore Russ and I was like yeah I know what you mean jack he's left there
mate there was there was a lot going on so he was he was driving my tour manager Kumar would be in
you have like six bunks.
So Kumar would be in one of the bunks.
I would be in one of the bunks.
My wife's friend was in one of the bunks.
And my support act, Joe Maggio, was in one of the bunks.
And my wife and son were in the kind of big bed at the back of the bus that they would sleep in
and had a kind of a little kind of shower if they needed it.
And there was a little cot.
So they would kind of go off.
So basically what would happen is we would drive.
from one venue to the next overnight and then park up outside that venue.
And then in the morning, we would kind of wash in the venue in their showers.
And sometimes they're amazing.
Sometimes.
Yeah, that's a gamble.
I'll tell you what is a gamble is when you've got an eight-month-old son.
And he wants to sit on the green room carpet.
And you're like, who was on last night?
It was a metal.
It was a metal band, wasn't it?
Up you get.
It was folk. Go on. There you go. You're fine. So yeah, that was pretty murky. And then what would happen is my wife would get ready to go to bed to put my son to sleep in the bus while we would do the show.
Oh, perfect. And she was having a shower and he was in my arms with 15 minutes to go before going on stage in Seattle. And that was a really, you know, you kind of need that hour.
Yeah. But there's just no world in which you can sort.
say to your missus, can you bring the child in with you whilst you wash yourself for the first time today?
Because I'm incredibly busy.
I need to think of my thoughts.
The other thing with that hour is, and I know this, maybe we've all got different things we do that hour.
But what I want to do is zone out by looking at my phone.
Do you know what I mean?
Or just do nothing.
So it's almost even worse to go, could you just take my son?
because I just want to look at Instagram mindlessly.
Yes, wild, isn't it?
It's not like I'm pacing and remembering the show or something.
I just need to almost not exist, if that makes sense.
Yeah.
It's a funny thing, isn't it?
Or kind of like, it's so interesting, the rituals that everyone goes through.
I remember a really brilliant moment during lockdown,
or the beginning of the lockdown.
Or maybe, no, we were just coming out of lockdown,
and I was doing these shows at Clapham Grand,
and Michael McIntyre,
mean it was like you know can i come and do to do 10 minutes i said absolutely and it was so have you
got 10 my culture yeah but it was so funny because he had a gig for a for a year and you could see him
backstage kind of like revving himself up it was incredible to see someone which a talented
comedian just he was just chatting to people and just trying to get it it was you know that thing
where you're like wow you forget even someone as incredible as him this is clearly his process he's
got to go and find strangers and just make them laugh and just sort of...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, because I try and zone out, but then about 20 minutes before I'll go and annoy the sound
engineer or the tour manager's got.
I just need to speak at people for a bit, just to warm up slightly or otherwise it's just like
such a cold opening.
I used to do that for my TV show.
It was like I would go up, I'd be away from the guys I wrote the show with and I'd just
go up for like an hour to kind of just chat to the researchers and sort of and do exactly
that.
and clearly they're busy.
I do that with wardrobe.
I'm going to sit there.
I'm incredibly like making a last minute, you know, Royal Guards outfit or something.
I'm just sat there going, can we watch Top of the Pops too on your screen in it?
It's funny, but it's, but that kind of very, I don't know, like low level, just chat with strangers is, it's so invaluable.
But hopefully they'll come an age where my son is able to just,
chat with me and that'll be nice.
At this point he was just
kind of looking at me and I was looking at him and
Did your wife enjoy it? Enjoy it though
like because you know it's a lot of ball like moving
around it's great for you because you get to see your son
and stuff but like it should probably
just be easier in the house. Yeah but the bus
The bus became that it was a moving
house so we had everything and
you know we were in so
she went with
one of her mates came
so then they you know when we're in
Europe they kind of went to the Van Gogh
museum and they kind of then the next day they're going to the we're in
Paris and they're kind of mooching about and then right we're in Vienna and they're
kind of off and they were doing stuff so it was brilliant so she had a friend
yeah that makes a difference on your own is depressing in it well yeah exactly this can you
just because I were just like making notes and trying to write stuff about the place we're in
and whatnot so yeah it was great it was it was I would thoroughly recommend it and it
and also it was kind of you know my wife was on maternity leave and when do you ever
ever get the opportunity to kind of travel from
Yeah, yeah.
Like I've got the, yeah, the itinery was nuts.
We were just like did Berlin
and then kind of, you know, Munich and Vienna
and it was incredible.
It was so much fun.
And so will they be coming on this one as well?
Well, hopefully, my wife's back at work now,
but she works Monday to Wednesday.
So I booked it Thursday to Sunday.
So she can do Whip switch and Nottingham.
She can't get out of those ones, Russell.
Well, this is it.
Well, but, you know,
it's a bit different wandering around fucking.
hip switch for the day,
isn't it?
Or you're mad.
She can spend a Saturday and Sunday in Stockton?
Well,
it's a bit like,
but can she do it on a wet Tuesday in Stoke?
Do you know what it is?
Anyone can tour in Amsterdam.
So are you driving around in a bus for that one?
Or are you just back and forth with a tour manager and she'll start home?
Yeah,
so I'll kind of like back and forth and,
you know, get back whenever I can.
So then you'll have the baby like Monday to Wednesday,
essentially, and then you hand over for the,
for your tour shows at the weekend.
Yeah.
That's a great set up doing it.
You've absolutely nailed it so far.
It's absolutely bulletproof system.
Well, it was, that was the plan really and it's worked really well.
And also you then, at the minute I'm kind of, like, when you're in kind of like stand-up mode, it's so much fun.
And then when you're in dad mode, you don't kind of, you know, it just feels like the perfect mix of like, you know, of doing the two things.
What I find interesting is like, so you, I'd say you and Rob are the two people I know that are most kind of teethy.
But Rob's natural.
Easy to work with because they'll provide a lot of stuff
and I can just sit there.
So it's been a lovely morning.
Now, the two people I work with that you like love comedy and stand up.
I've got a theory that almost every comedian who I'm friends with
wanted to be a musician but became a comedian.
But I'd say you two don't really.
really for the maybe the two exceptions but if you go romesh would have done anything to be a hip hop
act a castor want a castor wanted to be a drummer joel was in a metal band ed gamble would be in a
heavy metal band nish kuma would be bob dillon if he could be all these people wanted to be musicians
but became comedians but you two are comedians right so what i find interesting is like that was the
central thing of your life right and then you've had a kid and how have you found it as
You know that phrase like the pram in the hallway is the death of creativity or whatever?
It's not that.
But it's like, how have you found it has affected your relationship with work?
Do you know what has made me think?
To bring up McIntyre again, I have such respect for those comedians that got incredible when,
and well, including, you know, you guys, you had your kids young.
I mean, I'm 45 and I've kind of done everything comedically that I ever dream.
empty I would get to do. And I now have a kid. And it's like, oh, cool, I'll do the job I love
alongside it. But the fact that when I was doing the Edinburgh Festival, I didn't have a kid.
McIntyre had a kid. That's what if I knew. Do you imagine? It's so incredible that he was
able to write all these genius routines. So what I would, what I, it feels to me like,
you have this kind of parental responsibility to provide. And that this is the way that I provide.
So it feels like, almost like gigs are like you're going out searching for firewood
that you can then bring back to the family.
This is the only way I know to kind of provide.
So that's, I feel that that's changed me slightly.
And listen, I'm fine financially, but I still feel that need to kind of.
I totally found my relationship with the work in terms of, I saw it,
not like it became a, but I saw it much more financially once I had kids.
Yeah, it's weird.
Because it felt like I was doing this for the family.
now. It wasn't, it is essentially quite a selfish kind of job in a way. Do you know what I mean?
If you, where you are going out for all yourself, you're doing blah, blah, blah, blah. And when I had a
kid, it did totally change my relationship with like the thoughts I had around work and why I was
working, if you know what I mean. But what never goes away is when you have that thought or that
idea and to bring it back to Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan said that he wrote songs to perform for people. So I can't
I can't entertain myself.
I don't have this skills to sit with myself and write a book and enjoy my own company.
If I think of a thing, I need to say it to strangers so that it becomes something.
Because before that it isn't anything.
It's just an idea.
Yeah.
But that feeling, and I bet you you have that.
I don't know.
When you mention all of those comics, that the great thing we get to do, we get to write songs with people.
that essentially that's what a routine is.
You have this idea and the audience let you be funny
and they let you get to a place.
When they laugh, it opens up other roots
because you get egged on and it's all this now
and it's so immediate.
That's what I love about it is.
You have an idea you can go out that night and say it.
You don't have to run it past a producer
or anyone else or another band member.
It's just yourself.
Or it can just come to you and it can be anything.
And you're only ever sort of two months away from being brilliant again.
If you're a bit bored with your stuff,
you can just sort of sit down with yourself,
have a few thoughts,
and just go to a club and try and kick it,
kick it around.
And that's what I love about it.
It's the ability to kick it about, you know?
So you,
like,
you had an insane work epic.
You're so ambitious and you did so well
and everything you touched sort of turned to gold.
Like your Russell Howard's TV show was massive.
It was on every,
it was basically on every Edinburgh poster.
They must have been like,
they were so,
everyone was like the Russell Howard.
They wanted to get on your,
another comic show like to showcase themselves.
But like, obviously,
you had long writing days for that and he was really committed.
But I found when I had kids, not so much financial thing.
I've always had that.
I think I speak for all of us.
None of us come from any money so that you always have that thing in the back of your head.
I'll need to keep the money and you're worried about money.
It's an inbuilt thing.
But I used to find that like when I did mock the week, I'd work so hard and I'd be killing
myself to do as much as possible to get it as best as best.
But now I'm at a point where I go, right, the kids have finished school.
I've got five good jokes.
I'm just going to have to accept that that's all I've got today so I can see my children.
and make that sort of, do you ever struggle with that where you feel like,
oh, I'm not giving my career 100%.
But what you've just said is like the perfect working class distillation.
There's a book called Deep Work by a guy called Cal Newport.
And there's about, I guess, 300 pages in this book.
And you've summed that up exactly.
But it is, but it's like if you want to work deep, let's say you do two hours.
and then you stop and whatever you got you got and then you put the you put the laptop away or
you put your notepad away and that's that and then you go back to your life but it's this kind of
gradual um because tomorrow you'll come up with another five and then the day after that another five
yeah and then you can get rid of four of those and then it's that kind of process i think otherwise
like imagine being you know i'm 45 imagine giving up spending time with your
done just to kind of, you know, come up with a routine.
So I just have to, you have to, you, but you have to then put it into some sort of system.
So you go right Monday to Wednesday, I'll work my bollocks off like I used to.
I'll do a proper nine to five, you know, if I, if I'm writing or whatever, or Thursday to
Sunday, I'll properly go for it on tour.
And then when I'm in dad mode, you know, you just kind of hang out and see what happens.
And it's incredible.
and what's amazing about having kids is every cliche is true.
Yeah.
They'll sometimes, and they are so oblivious that they've given you a memory forever.
That's what I find fast.
And they won't remember any.
But he, I remember my son just put his, he put his head on my sort of inner arm.
And he just like, just rested it there for a bit because there was no other place in the world he wanted his head to be.
and I just felt like so happy and like oh god I just warmed my entire soul and then he just like just wandered off and he has no idea and I'll now look like it just feels like that's his place moments like that why would you give that up just to go right I got to write this bit about Farage
Did you struggle?
Did you struggle with that though?
Like you say you've read a book about it
So it must have been something that was playing on your mind
And with a working class background
I think we are built to go right
You've got to move all that sand over to that
You know, it's like you work your bollocks off for 12 hours
And that's how you feel like you've been successful
And done well that you're completely exhausted
At the end of it
Like did you struggle with that balance?
No, I think honestly
I think if you're trying to create something
And you get something out of it like I do
It's just about setting a time limit, isn't it?
It's like, I think Seinfeld speaks about that.
It's whether it's two hours, four hours, whatever it is.
Just do it, right, and then just put it, put it away.
And you have to change your life because when I used to do the TV show, I would work.
That sounded all-consuming.
It was crazy.
But Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you know, Monday, and then Tuesday, we do the show.
And then Wednesday, I was in the edit and Thursday.
So it was kind of like some weeks, but sometimes it's 12 weeks.
But I loved it.
And I also felt like I was responsible for kind of steering the ship of the show.
Well, that's your name on it.
That was your purpose.
To that point, a young kid who wanted to become a comedian.
You've got your own show.
Your name's above the door.
You're in charge.
This is everything you've ever wanted.
But then all of a sudden, this thing lands in your lap that's way more important than that.
Exactly.
And it's so, and it's also so much fun and so kind of tiring.
But, you know, my son's beginning to walk now, which is just great.
and, you know, he's kind of, he's kicking a ball, which is, you know, as a football fan, the most
exciting thing in the world.
And he's kind of talking and you're reading in books and he just wants to hug you or, you know,
and he's just beginning to do jokes.
So you say, kiss, do you want to kiss?
Can you have a kiss?
And he'll kind of turn his head away and then lean his head in and pull it away.
And just all these lovely things that you're so, I love him.
I love him.
I've said it.
I've said it.
The test is can you do stand-up where you don't sell your kid down the road for the...
Welcome to our world.
Well, do you know what I mean?
Yeah, because you don't want to kind of...
I remember my friend Al Pitcher told me an insane story that it will always stick with me.
He was doing a joke about his son and his son was four at the time and they were in Sweden where he lives.
And his wife was going to be looking after his son.
they were doing this festival and the son walked into the crowd he's at the back of the crowd he sees daddy on stage
and daddy can't see his son and daddy does a joke about his son and everyone's laughing and his son's going
that that's not true that's not true and he can't be heard because the laughter is so loud oh my god
And then the next morning at breakfast, when this is all, you know, this all comes to be,
his four-year-old son just looked at him and went,
it was just so unfair.
Oh, my God.
But it's, I think about that so much where you go, God,
I can't imagine how awful that felt,
but it completely changed Thal's perspective where you go,
yeah, right, I have to make sure I do stuff that you can stand by.
Well, that's kind of the rule I have.
and I think, Rob, you're the same, is it's about me.
It's not about, it's about my relationship to being a parent.
Yes.
And my relationship to trying to be a parent.
Yes.
And because being a parent is basically like an apprentice task.
You know how the apprentice task is set up to fail?
Yeah.
You know, like the producers make an apprentice task where however hard you try,
you can't succeed, basically.
That's parenting.
And like, I think that is.
the core of the joke, isn't it, when you're talking about parenting, is that you're trying
because you're desperate for its seed and because you love your children so much, but you can't
help but fail. And that's why I find it difficult if it's like, there's loads of things I wouldn't
speak about because it's like, you know, that's my daughter's business or that's my son's business.
And that's kind of... Not everyone's like that. And I always find that fascinating where you go,
it works now, but at what cost?
Yeah.
You might be making money now,
but you're going to have to save that for therapy.
Is this being said out loud by someone else
or just my own mind talking?
That's been the thing,
and that's like from the start,
we decided not to put any photos up of our children.
We don't say their names anywhere.
Obviously, we do this podcast,
but like I say, I always,
so this is my,
I am talking about my experience,
of being a dad that my children are sort of bit part players in as opposed to she did this the other day
and then there were a couple of moments where I have done that I've not always been perfect with that
but when they were a lot younger but now they're much older I'm really steering away from
exact moments and it'll be more me going oh my god I tried to get them up from school I tried to do that
that's more but it's really funny as well parents relate with more than my kid because no one
cares oh my kid said a funny thing the other day everyone just think they'll fuck off no they didn't
you think it's funny we don't yeah it's fun it's a bit like
what your tattoo means.
It's like you should know.
Oh, you strings.
And nobody gives a fuck.
But then I throw my brothers and my parents
and the extended family right under the bus.
We fucking, I'm booting them under.
Do you know what I mean?
I throw away and I feel like,
but they're grown up so I'm allowed,
but it's sort of, it's weird, isn't it?
That like...
Well, it's funny.
My brother come around my house every day
and like my brother has a preternatural ability
to get out of trouble.
Like, it's extraordinary,
like the amount of times
where I'll give you an example.
During COVID,
we were doing one of those Zooms
with all my cousins.
It was brilliant.
We're all kind of drinking.
And it was,
you know,
I was hanging out with them.
I felt like I was in the room.
It was great.
And all,
like Lee and Lewis and they're all,
everyone's there and Jake's there.
It's brilliant.
And then we hear this like running water sound.
And I look over at my brother's like quadrant.
And I'm like,
are you in the bath?
Right?
And my brother goes,
people wash, you dickhead.
And suddenly I'm the,
weirdo. My brother has that ability where you got. I've got him there, but he's kind of looking
at me. He's completely naked. We can't see anything, but he's just chatting away, kind of washing
himself, it's disgusting. So the other day, we've got a dog bowl on the table because my son
likes putting his hand in the dog bowl. My brother walks into the house, looks at my son,
who's in his chair, and does what he knows to be the funniest thing. So he puts his head in the
bowl and starts drinking from the dog bowl pretending to be a dog. Now, I found it very entertaining.
It blew my kids' mind. Just like, oh, and water's going everywhere, really, really going for it.
My wife comes in and understandably says quite loudly, what the fuck you're doing?
To watch my brother goes, maybe next time, offer your guests a drink and just walks out of that.
That sums him up that you go, no one has an ability like him to do that. But I guess that's,
it's stories like that,
isn't it,
where you're trying to do those kind of,
kind of parenting adjacent stories.
Yes,
they're kind of in them and it's funny.
And I'm,
I've always been quite mindful,
similar with my misses,
of not wanting to kind of make their,
like,
because my wife's a doctor,
I don't want to make her life heart.
Yeah,
do you know what I mean?
I think like times a million with your kid
where,
you know,
what have you told a story?
And they,
and it was really funny,
but then they've got,
got to deal with the repercussions of that story.
And I don't know what school is like now,
but I know what it was like in my day.
Yeah.
Can you imagine that?
Children hasn't changed.
The children haven't become like, yeah, yeah.
I was brilliant that clip of you shitting yourself
that thought parts gone viral.
Yeah.
And he's like, great, I've got to go to school now.
Thanks.
Exactly.
And everyone knows about that.
Yeah, exactly.
It's that, it's that funny thing.
We often ask like kind of how,
because obviously there's a very,
different generation we are to the generation
above. Plus we are kind of
we've lived a real different life
because often we're interviewing people that have
done kind of mad things.
We had cassette tapes which now feels
like something from the fucking Victorian age
having a warm man with a cassette
for like my child now.
What is that? Mate, listen to this. I was at
Top Secret the other day and the MC said
we got any 20 year olds in and a big cheer.
We got any 30 year olds? Big cheer.
Does anyone know anyone 40?
And there was like a couple of
and the MC went well done on surviving the pandemic.
And you're like going, oh, God.
Oh, Jesus.
We are.
We are.
It was just that moment where you're like,
flipping how we are now the punchline.
So like, because I watched your,
and it's a really interesting, like, really great documentary,
the one you did about the pandemic.
And it sums up what you were saying earlier about,
like, you know, you want to get out there
and you want to connect with people.
People don't know, though, Russell,
when you basically flew to New Zealand in the middle of the pandemic to go in isolation in the hotel
so that then you could move freely and do shows in New Zealand because that was the only place
open because they'd done quite severe lockdown measures at the start. So you went there to isolate
so you could tour. Yeah. Insane. And your parents are in that and they couldn't be two more
different parents in the world. Yeah. So you've got your mum, your dad who's like an achiever and he's like
really straight and then you've got your mum who people all have seen on things who's very sweet
kind of um kind of really mumsy woman what have you taken from that like and well have you consciously
taken stuff from that yes you must do hey but i'm i'm i work quite hard because my dad's
you know a real work and also my my dad's just a very strange man like if i did a travel show
with my mom where we just chatting all the way if it had been with me and dad it would have been two men
who looked very similar, sat in a car in utter silence.
He's absolutely not interested in me.
You know, he's just, and that's fine, and I get it.
But, like, he used to, he'll come to gigs and he loves the gigs,
but he'll be so honest.
Do you know what I mean?
Oh, really?
Yeah, he started slow.
He started pretty slow then.
You're like, well, you know, sometimes you start slow, don't.
Oh, my God.
But is he doing that because he doesn't want you to get too big for your boots?
think or is it actually real feedback where if you had a quiet moment with yourself you'd agree
with that comment or you know what do you think it is i never know i it's it's kind of the mystery like
it he's just a very he's a lovely odd fellow my dad um and my dad is fairly indifferent to me and my mom
loved me too much and i think that's how you become a comedian my he's little soul you're looking for
Daddy's approval.
It was a bit like doing, yeah, in many ways,
it was like doing the downstairs gig at Top Secret
and then the upstairs gig.
This is great.
This is absolutely fine.
Oh, God, oh, Jesus, I've got nothing.
So if your son had done a gig and you watching it
and you thought it was a bit slow,
but then he got into his groove,
what do you think you'd say at the end of the gig to him?
Oh, Jesus, what a question.
Like, I just think the style of parents,
parenting is so different these days that, so for example, but my, so my dad,
so my mom back then, was it? Well, but my dad's, my dad's dad left before he was born.
And then his mom died when he was young. So he, like, just wasn't really ever, you know,
and he was like living in a car when he met my mom when he was 16. So, you know, he's kind of,
he's, he's on a surface of that team. At least his son's upgraded to living in a bus. That's the
I remember at Christmas our dad would just, you know, he'd go on and go off and he'd just like light a fire at the bottom of the garden.
And we sort of knew, be like, oh, right.
He needs a moment.
Yeah, he needs a moment.
It's so funny, you know, that generation.
But it is that generation.
You're like, oh, dad's burning something.
Even age eight, we were like, you know, but he's just got, I remember having a bit that sums him up so brilliantly that there's a kindness.
And just he's inadvertently weird.
So my sister's, my sister had a rabbit.
And this thing was twitching because it had mixed mitosis.
And my dad killed it with, uh, with a spade like in front of us as kids.
Oh my gosh.
Just went clear like whack, whack, whack, like that.
And even as a kid, I remember thinking maybe clear the perimeter first before you'd
panget.
But he genuinely was like, I just don't like, I just don't want to see it suffer.
And you're like, well, that's fine.
But, you know, she's six.
I'm like, listen, I find it incredibly entertaining.
Like, I've got an ability to look outside of my world and see that you're mad.
But she's, she's done now, Dad.
She's six.
And the honest truth is, me and Daniel hated that.
He's my brother.
We hated that rabbit because we had to clear it out.
So when Dad killed it, it was just a glorious day.
I've just suddenly like going, get in.
We've got our Sundays back.
But, you know,
Like that's the thing we just, my entire childhood was just jobs.
That was what all the time was just kind of this weird like, you know,
get a paper around, right?
And now, you know, dig a hole and help me put this fence up and like,
bright plastering, like doing plastering when you're nine.
Like plastering is hard.
I don't think you can do that now.
If you don't skim it right and then you're like, fuck, you know.
He must say if he's had that difficult child and was living in a car
and he's seen you, all of you and your siblings all do.
so well for themselves and you know you're traveling the world with these big sold-out shows it must
be really proud deep down yeah of course it's yeah he just yeah and he he adores my son and he
adores my my sister's kids he's like he's a brilliant he's a brilliant brilliant
dad and granddad he's just he was forged in fire so there's there's gonna be uh there's complications
whereas my mum is it's got like six siblings and you know everything was rusey really it's all right
That bristolian.
I was left in a pram once.
And that's my mum's big story.
Do you know what I mean?
I was left in a pram.
And I just left.
And nobody took me.
Nobody stole me.
So she kind of makes it very much about herself.
But my dad would never kind of go,
well, I see you're stuck in a pram.
And I raise you this.
And so how are you then going to, like, as a parent,
do you think about this?
Like, obviously, and we both discussed this.
we could make our children's lives really so much easier than it was.
Yeah, it's difficult, isn't it?
How do you do?
Yeah, well, I think, I don't know, I just think my wife's really clever and has a really good
emotional intelligence.
And so I kind of, like, she's definitely the leader, I think, of how to parent and I'm,
I kind of like, feel like, she's like, you're the assistant.
You're like, she's pet and you're one of the assistants.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And sometimes I'm like that bloke at Newcastle and everyone's like, sit down there.
I'm just trying to get in the front of it.
I've got it with you having.
Trying to shake the one's hands at the school gates.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll sort with that out.
So I kind of, yeah, I kind of, it feels like you're the, the sous chef to the kind of
the main chef, really.
But, but I don't know, maybe it just got like, again, so to put it into sort of context,
my dad, I read my dad's diary.
My dad went to university on a scholarship.
And I read his diary when he was doing his finals.
And he basically did really well in my exam.
I'm pretty certain I got 85%, which is mad to kind of react like that.
But he kind of won a medal for like the top degree that year.
And the next day he took me down the beach because I was won.
And he was like, took the board to the beach.
He loved it.
So again, it's like how were you able to revise?
know that you did really well in the exam and then still be an amazing dad.
So, yeah, it's very, I don't know, like I feel very fortunate.
I almost feel like I'm stepping into, like, when my son is, I'm five,
I'll probably be retired, probably be doing gigs occasionally,
and I'll be like this weird stay-at-home dad.
And I'm quite looking forward to that.
Like John Lennon, when he had his period where he just lived with his son in the Dakota building.
Yeah, I think so.
I just kind of want to do the school run.
You'll be school run.
I do.
mate honestly i did i did nc t i loved all that i think that i think if you fully commit to being
school dad right and you do all the pickups all the drop-offs your wife's working you've done your
you know you've you've hit all your ambition points in your career you and you join all like
the parent group you're it's a good little it's like what is it you get when you go off heroin
is it called like methadone you can just sort of just get a little bit out of that sort of
a need to be funny comedian thing just at the playground to do a quick five pick the kid up and go
And it's like, keeps you on a level rather needing to gig all the time.
Do you know, I think it probably will be like that.
And I'd just be looking at my son, he'll be in the back going,
I did it right that?
But a few more than it turned up.
There was a bit of a vibe.
But at the start, it was hard work.
It's always that funny thing, isn't it?
Because I don't know if you're all the same,
but I will try stuff out on anybody.
Just, you know, just got, if there's an opportunity,
if I've got a little bit and I meet someone in the park,
it's like, bang, I'm in.
Does that affect you when your gig, so I've, I have,
that. If I'm gigging though, I'm empty. I've got nothing to gig. If I've done a gig that week,
like, and I've been gigging a lot, I don't. But if I'm off the stand-up circuit, I'm not gigging
at all. I'm awful for that. You're a problem, right? Until Lou's kicking me.
You could never retire, Rob. No, I just have to sort of, I have to just narrow it rather
because I've got, I can't do that. I don't know if Russell calms down a bit when he's on tour
with the trying stuff out on people because you've got you're out there. Yeah, but you still,
like if there's that I bet
no I don't if the opportunity
like well for it it's
sort of like I'll give you
an example of like of
this is a so there was some
I was on holiday recently with my son and
he was chasing pigeons
and it's just this thought I've often had in my head
and he was chasing the pigeons
and I was going right I will never
have a better opportunity
because we are quite literally seeing
the thing I'm about to observe so the audience
couldn't be more primed
And I've tried this bit before to deathly silence.
But I was going, well, it might work now because they're actually seeing it.
So I turned to this kind of, this white, I was kind of going, I said, look, it's funny, isn't it?
The world over.
You know, the kids and pigeons, they're always chasing pigeons.
I said, if there's any justice and the Buddhists are right, then paedophiles will come back as pigeons.
And it fucking ripped it.
like that
and I was like
there you go
I knew it
and it was just that
but it was that horrible thing
of guy
I knew that was funny
but what
how will I ever get it
but yeah
so if there's ever an opportunity
we're gonna have to
kick around pigeons
from now on
mate but it's the fact
that's a big joke
to sling in
at a fucking breakfast
restaurant
of like
if the buddy's are
right
that they're pedophiles
aren't they
two eggs
you can I just
I have that
I have that illness
I just
because when people
laugh, for me, it basically helps you realize that you're not mad. So you, and so, so, and some of the
stuff is, like, I often think, can you imagine if they interviewed our partners, like the partners
of comedians, because those poor people, they have to see all the jokes that don't make it to
the stage. Like, like, all the, you know, these kind of weird half thoughts and is, is that something?
I want to, and that energy and need for attention, really, because it is, you know, we have got a need to, you know,
It's weird.
We may be in denial about it,
but there is that need,
we need for some reason.
Yeah,
I wonder what it is.
Yeah, I wonder what it is.
But I think there is that similarity
between music and comedy that they're just songs.
So you kind of go,
you know,
you have this very visual idea,
I think,
very often with a joke where you kind of go,
right,
that's funny.
Now I've got to find the right words
to make strangers see what I see in my head.
That's kind of what it feels like to me,
being a comedian,
that you're kind of like,
oh,
Yeah, yeah, that's interesting.
I've got to find something now so they can see what I see.
Your son being a comedian.
How do you feel about him wanting to following your footsteps as a comedian?
I would love that.
Would you?
Really?
But I think because you would be able to kind of help, I think.
And I think I'd be quite good at that in terms of like, I often, I really like giving people ideas.
You've got me very careful, you know.
when you kind of offer a joke,
but I love giving people a tag for a joke.
I'm not really very kind of precious about it.
I've gone,
oh,
you know that you should do that,
be really funny.
So I think I'd be like that.
But I'd have to kind of make sure
that I let him have his own kind of voice
without trying to write it for him.
I think that would be the worst.
If you were just trying to do everything.
That's really funny.
You should,
members,
try this or...
Like the dad at the side of kids football.
You don't want to be the comedy equivalent of...
Yeah.
You've got it.
You've got to be slow.
You've got to sit with it a bit more before you hit the punchline.
You're too nervous, son.
Yeah.
But again, to make it about my dad, so my dad, when he used to come and watch me play football,
he's not really interesting.
He's not really interesting.
Good footballer, aren't you?
Listen to this.
This explains it.
So my dad used to watch me a footie and go,
oh, are you going to do something flash or what?
So he would, rather than, like, track back or give it easy.
My dad was on the sideline kind of a couple of robunas, a little pirouette.
Oh, wow.
Some stepovers.
This is tedious.
son.
Like so
I've never heard that ever
in football
that kind of
in it mad
imagine that
imagine being 10 years old
you go come on
let's have a couple
of croif turns
Jesus Christ
these people are dead
yeah
remember it
don't pass it
on else
but yeah
I don't know
it's
because my wife's a doctor
as well
so it's that thing
of
it's probably a safer job
you're both
healing people
well
it's
but one
actually is and the other one.
And the sad truth is you won't find a doctor who wants their kid to be a doctor
because it's unbelievably difficult where you're like, I just have an easy life,
just be a comic, you know, but I don't know.
How about you?
Would you like your kids to be?
Oh, I don't know.
I like the idea of, I quite like it when they're into things that I'm not into
and I feel like I'm joining them on their patch, if you know what I mean.
That's a better way.
I'd love him.
I'd love it if he did something creative.
Like I'd love him to be a, I think that's where I'd be a nuisance.
If he was a songwriter or something like that, I'd be kind of like, yeah, let's write some lyrics.
I would love that.
Dad, I don't want you to, I don't want you to learn a guitar solo.
And you've got mates of musicians.
It's so far.
I've got a pal of mine who's, and I'm all, I could, I cannot have dropped enough hints to say, you know, have you ever.
Oh, somebody.
And he's so.
So maybe you do want to be a musician.
Russell, after all that, maybe you are one of the people?
I would love to be in a studio and see people.
Like, watching Get Back, I love it.
Yeah, that looks amazing.
Yeah, like, as I was part of the team, like, fuck singing and dancing and playing.
Yeah, well, this is it.
But the idea of being, being around.
So splitting the money.
Ugh.
Yeah, you're a sketch act.
Fuck, off.
Just be overheads of the roadies, Rob.
Think about the other.
Jesus, but it's why all the sketch acts, you never get working class
sketchucks because it's like, I'm not splitting it free ways. Fuck that. I'll do all the voices.
I'll go full Eddie Murphy on this.
Do you want to ask a final question, Josh? You go for it, Rob. Because I've just, I've just
got a thing saying your disc space is almost full, so I'm slightly panicking at that moment.
Final question, we ask everyone, what's the one thing your partner does as a parent where you go,
oh my God, she's amazing? Like, I'm in awe of her. I couldn't do this about her. And what's the one
thing she does that frustrates you slightly, parenting-wise, that if she was to
listen, she might go, yeah, I think Russell's got a point there. Oh, gosh.
It's a bit awkward bringing it up face to face. Just her, the composure, I think, that's what
I find. One thing that blew my mind, and I don't know if you had this feeling with your partners,
was their instant ability, women's instant ability to hold a baby with such perfection
that they know all the angles and where the head goes and the,
you know, they just clink and just her ability, whereas I held him like, like a man on
fucking mesquiline holding a fish. Like I was so like, like just, like I had no kind of grace.
So that's why just the serenity and grace with which she does motherhood, I find phenomenal.
And her ability to, to just do it effortlessly, whereas with me I'm very much kind of honestly,
I had to put the cot together, which was all I had to do in the grand scheme of things.
And I would argue that putting a cot together is basically male pregnancy.
And I had a very difficult labour.
Like, I was, you know, there was all sorts of noises come in.
And, you know, I said some pretty full-on people about the Swedes.
Just, just screaming.
But that's what I find incredible is just the calmness and the effortless.
My only criticism, my only critique is very specific.
She'll go, oh, can you go and get some socks?
Or can you go and get a coat or a jumper?
It's in the drawer.
And I go in the drawer.
And for whatever reason, I can't find it.
I can never.
I can never find it.
I'm there going and I'm looking in every inch going,
oh, not again, man.
Where is it?
It's got to be here.
I'm looking at everything going,
where the fuck, come on.
Right.
like, okay, it's not here.
We can say with real certainty, it's not here.
So you go back, oh, yeah, there isn't, there's no socks.
And then she'll walk in and go, they go, and they appear instantly.
And again, that feels like a critique of me.
But I just want to know what she's doing.
Like, where are?
It's amazing.
It's so insane to me that I can, it'd be a good five minutes.
And the panic, you're trying to stop a bomb going, come on, man.
Yeah.
You don't want to give up in that situation.
But when they're here, they can't be anywhere else.
Like, she's going to find them.
She's not, well, she can't find her because they're definitely not here this time.
You're fucking right, man.
And then you go back and she finds it.
And that, the failure you feel when you come back with nothing.
And then she goes and finds it instantly.
Oh, God.
B.S. by it, really.
Oh, Russell, this has been brilliant.
Thank you so much.
It's been a joy.
I really enjoyed that.
Thanks, fellas.
Russell Howard.
There we go.
I think you're right about that.
Russellard is one of the people.
comedy that loves doing comedy.
Pound for pound, I think he loves
doing stand-up comedy more than anyone
that does comedy. Russell is on tour
from January the 22nd.
Yeah, great venues.
Go and see him. Right, Josh, I'll see you next time.
Oh, parenting hell
listeners, recognize that voice? Yes, it's
Josh Whitakam here. I
have got a new podcast, Josh
Whitakam's Museum of Pop Culture.
And I'm going to say it, I'm about
85% sure you're going to love it.
Here are the reasons why.
Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny.
Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts.
Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics.
I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast.
I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics.
See above.
Basically, I wanted a podcast that really...
realize Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I first.
Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby.
When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real,
when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh,
the Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from you too,
and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall.
All of them are, by the way.
Either you know what these things are, and you're about to learn far more about them,
than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't,
and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history.
Stiff necks will learn, lose next will laugh.
New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday.
Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell.
So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now.
Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitakum, available everywhere in the 1st of January.
