Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S11 Ep41 Russell Howard

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian and presenter - Russell Howard Russell Howard tours his brand-new stand-up show Don’t Te...ll The Algorithm across the UK & Ireland from 22nd January to 29th November, including six dates at the London Palladium Russell Howard's Five Brilliant Things podcast episodes are released weekly on Wednesdays and are available on all major podcast platforms. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:02 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Whitickham. Welcome to Parent in Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you, feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week, we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with your tips, advice, and of course,
Starting point is 00:00:27 tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with Jago. Can you say Rob? Rob. Beckett? Beckett.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Can you say Josh? Josh. And Whittaker? Welcome. Well done. Welcome. There we go. That's Jago.
Starting point is 00:00:56 Lovely. Very, very well done. 5-month-old son, Jago. I doubt your guess where we're from, as I don't have a hint of accent, despite living here my whole life. Birmingham. Perfect for our guest drop.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Bristol. Yes. The Bristol accent is a life choice though, isn't it? It really is. Russell Howard hasn't really got it, has he? I think you can choose to get rid, I think. Can you indeed? Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 00:01:20 I think people from Bristol make a decision. Do you? You double down or you slide in. Which would you make the decision to do? It depends what I'm doing. I've been a listener since I was pregnant and I've been eagerly awaiting the day that Jago can have a go at your intro
Starting point is 00:01:32 and it actually be intelligible. I love the podcast. I'm so grateful to have something I can tune into every week that helps ease the guilt I feel for my various parenting choices, mainly those involving screen time. It's like having a parenting support group on the drive to work.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Thank you for keeping it going. Your England's best agony uncles, all the best Maddie England's in fucking trouble then. There we go. We haven't had any dilemmas, have we sent in? I think people realize me not very good at answering them. not very good at answering them. I don't know. I just ask someone else. I'll tell you, I'll get that yore now, mate. Yeah, that's the darling. Save it for the record.
Starting point is 00:02:11 You wait till my pockets, just fill of it. It's filmed. Yes, so basically, this, my daughter, my two daughters, I was with my two daughters and a few of my younger daughter's friends. Now, I've got a really funny photo of my daughters when we was in Tokyo of one asleep on the train and one had drunk too many drinks, like fizzy drinks, and needed a wee and sat there, it looked like she's about to burst, right? She's sort of got her arms all tents and look into sight. It's really funny picture that we sort of have a little laugh at. And it came up on my phone.
Starting point is 00:02:39 My daughter saw it. And then she was laughing. And then my other daughter said, oh, can I see and show everyone? And I said to my oldest, do you want everyone to see? And she was like, no, not really. Because she was like, it's funny for us as a family. But she didn't think she wanted loads of people just laughing at her in this photo. Who are these people?
Starting point is 00:02:55 My younger daughter's friends. Oh, right. I think she just felt a bit like, oh, no, it's a bit much. So I said, no, she doesn't want everyone to see it and to laugh at it like that. So then, because it's a photo of her and she doesn't want everyone to see. And then the younger one's like,
Starting point is 00:03:06 but it's a photo of me as well. I'm in it. I want to see it. And I'm like, yeah, but then I don't want to show you. And then it feels like I'm excluding your friends. I was like, let's just not look at the phone anymore. And then the younger ones start sulking
Starting point is 00:03:16 that she can't see the phone. And he's just like, I don't know what the right one. What's the right thing to do here, Josh? I think you've done the right thing to not show the photo. Because the photo is laughing at the older one, isn't it? Really. Yes, because the other one's just not doing much. And it's fine if she's in on the joke,
Starting point is 00:03:31 but she maybe doesn't want to share that with lots of people. You've got to respect that as well. Totally. Totally. I think you've done the right thing there, Rob. But it is the classic situation where having two kids is very difficult because sometimes you have to make a decision that's going to fuck one of them off. It's not you versus them, as in not that parenting is you versus,
Starting point is 00:03:53 but it's not like, do I draw a line because I don't think they're, should do this or or they do you know it's not like a decision where it's like this is me parenting one child it's the decision of how do I mediate between two children that want different things and both it's not like a yeah it's a different thing you've got to make a split second decision to decide your stance and how you're going to implement it and make sure it's the right decision and then do that immediately with life living people well exactly you know in law absolutely keep talking all of the laws come from previous ruling, well not all of them,
Starting point is 00:04:28 but laws come from previous rulings in courts, don't they? So it'll become like a, if there's a court case that makes a ruling, then others use that ruling later on. That's a bit like parenting. So now you've delivered that rule. That's showing that needs to be implemented going forward now. That is now the rule going forward
Starting point is 00:04:47 because the case of daughter one versus daughter two over photos shown to friends is now the statute in the long term. If they get to have a full trial, like present evidence and a judge make a final decision in their own quarters, but I'm doing all that live. Exactly. You're doing it straight away.
Starting point is 00:05:04 You're going, I think that is murder. Just off the bat. Yeah, immediately. And you will be sentenced to death. Now let's enjoy the rest of our day out. Yeah, exactly. So there you go. Russell Howard, Rob.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Yes, Russell Howard. Great guest. Dad. Partly older dad as well. He's in his mid-40s, isn't he? You always think of him. was about 28, Russell. I know. He had a kid at 43.
Starting point is 00:05:26 And what's quite interesting, he's already super successful and now integrating a child into that, as opposed to having a child on the way up. Should we bring on Russell? Yes, this is Russell Howard. Russell Howard, welcome. Fucking hell, lads.
Starting point is 00:05:43 We should you want to do that again? No, that seems to be it in this show. We don't really give a shit, and the humans are quite forgiving. But given that you were sort of like a digital Ant and Deck. I was just thinking, they very rarely speak over each other.
Starting point is 00:05:58 And do they ever have a rift? I've never seen it. That would go viral, wouldn't it? Ant and Deck going, do you want to stop stepping on my lines, Ant? Yeah. I mean, I think they might have had a couple of crosswords when he crashed his car drunk into a roundabout,
Starting point is 00:06:11 but on screen, I think they're quite chilled. Yeah, but you were implying he was in the back. Yeah, yeah, he's always to his left. Yeah, he's always to his left. And if he's driving, he has to run alongside him sometime. That's why he couldn't see his blind spot. isn't it? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Well, that's the problem, isn't it? That you just go, he's got me. He's definitely got me. To the point, you know, when they've got,
Starting point is 00:06:31 like, you know, you do your driver's license and the guy's got the brakes and he just presumed that Anna had it over. So, do you know what I wanted to say,
Starting point is 00:06:40 Russell? Because I don't know if I've ever said this, is that I saw one of your gigs because it was kind of, quite a big moment in my life. Oh, really? Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:06:50 I've got the same story. I think you might have, we might have been going to comedy when Russell was in his too big and too good for comedy clubs peak and then was just roofing gigs. You know, you're sort of too good just to be doing 20 minutes
Starting point is 00:07:04 and you need longer and then you're just cramming it all in. Tell yours first. This is horrible starting of Rizzing him up. I didn't want to start like this. I don't remember that experience myself, Rob. So I saw you at Ashton Court Festival. Oh, yeah. Yeah, 2003.
Starting point is 00:07:22 My friend was at uni. in Bristol and we went to that music festival and I didn't know who anyone was and John Richardson was on and he did a kind of impression of a dolphin. Does that? Yes. Is that a thing? Yeah, he had a really still doing that, he had a really, he had a really, yeah, John had a bit about remarkably, given that he was sort of born and raised in Lancaster and to my knowledge, I've never seen a live dolphin, had a really extensive and funny bit about dolphins. And, It led up to this incredible impression of a dolphin. And then suddenly you get like, it's quite a big tent.
Starting point is 00:07:59 It's probably about 500 Bristolians. Yeah. It was fucking hell. That wasn't bad. That actually sounded like a dog dog. I'll tell you what. He's got a serial killer's eyes, but he's got a range of animal voices I've never seen in my life.
Starting point is 00:08:11 But yeah. Well, thank you. That's very sweet of you, Josh. Well, we'll go on to parenthood in a minute. But that sort of follows on while, I saw you up the creek and you just were doing 20 minutes, I think on a Sunday.
Starting point is 00:08:20 But you had done a bit of, I don't even think you'd done maybe a bit of telebot. but not much, but you just came on. And I've been going to up the creek a lot, and you see a lot of the old school acts of their set routines, and there's references from 20 years ago, and then you've got the newcomers in the middle working out to do it. But you just came on, and it was nonstop.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Bang, bang, and there wasn't a let up. And then you're watching, going, oh, my God, this is just like nonstop. And you're doing stuff that, because you're much similar to my age, I could get a bit more than some of the older lads. But for you now, though, like, because that kind of comedy club or smaller theatre where you can be yourself in chat and throw lines out, as Russell rather than the comedian. How do you find being in an arena?
Starting point is 00:08:57 Because you've got, you know, you've got another arena tour. You've been in arenas for years and years now. Well, I'm not. Is it possible to bring that in? Or how do you find the difference between those two venues? So I purposely kind of, I'm not really doing TV anymore. So I was, I did arenas because I had to kind of fit a touring quite quickly when I was doing telly.
Starting point is 00:09:18 And now I kind of do, so I'll do like four nights in the theatre. So like, you're nice. So I would, I would, I would, I'd rather do that. And then that way my wife and son can come up and we can kind of hang out in like... So you're going to take them on tour? Mate, I've done it. I took them on tour to America.
Starting point is 00:09:33 I took them on tour to Europe. We did like a tour bus. It was incredible. Oh, wow. How old is your... Is it one kid? You got one? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Yeah, he's 18 months old. 18 months. Yeah. So he was, um, his, the first time he was on stage was the Sydney Opera House, which is pretty cool. Pretty cool. He did, uh, he did the warm up. and was pretty good. He hasn't found his voice yet, has he?
Starting point is 00:09:58 He's not quite. He's very similar to his dad. He's still working off the written stuff. Yeah, exactly. No, did you do? To answer your question, I kind of, I think those 2000-seater venues, something like the Palladium or the kind of the Liverpool Empire,
Starting point is 00:10:12 those rooms where they're obviously massive, but you can still be kind of small. I think there isn't a bad seat in any of those venues, even if you're sort of way at the time, top. Whereas, like, I really loved doing arenas and there was so much fun. And it had to be this kind of all-powerful monologue where you just like wallop them for like an hour and a half. But creatively, you stand still. Or I did. I was never, I never felt like improvise on this age. You've got to just give them what you've written. It's this kind of sort of ocean that's just
Starting point is 00:10:46 flowing and you're smashing it. And you can't then stop and bring it down. I've seen people do it. And it's really impressive when you see, I remember seeing Chappelle kind of busking at the O2, which was wild. But he's got such charisma that he was able to kind of make it. And he was following Chris Rock. Chris Rock had just done his set that he did on Netflix. And then Chappelle basically just came on and went,
Starting point is 00:11:09 you're right? And it was so compelling to see someone just dick about at the O2. I suppose you can use the screens, though, for the small moments and act outs in your face and facial expressions. because they zoom up. But yeah, that's what I was saying because it felt like you, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:25 the kind of act you are, you're perfect to really get involved and improvise all the way through like a 3,000. Would you go to the audience now a bit more? No. No. Don't you go to them anymore at all? Well, it's just, it's been,
Starting point is 00:11:37 it's been ruined by all these kind of like crowd work sets, don't you think? Just, I find they're a bit more bullshit of crowd now than they were because they feel like they're part of the show. Oh no, I just think I, like not to sound kind of nostalgic for my youth but I you know you're you guys be the same there's no problem with that no problem with that I'm built to air on it this is bread and butter you look at like you know Kitson and
Starting point is 00:12:02 ross nobel and jason and ross and ralce and Andrew Maxwell and these Phil Key like genuinely brilliant improvisers whereas now it's kind of like you know what do you do your mum's a whore yeah you know where you learn to a helicopter yeah but it's just it's just it's just it's This is good stuff, guys. I'm just getting it down if that's all right. But it's stockies. That's what blows my mind, those kind of stock lines that you'd see jongler's acts doing
Starting point is 00:12:29 and now kind of done by a lot of kind of improvisational heavyweights on. And I just, I don't know, it just, it makes me ick now. Yeah. If you're kind of, if something happens, I love it and you can kind of create something, but I would never kind of go to somebody and sort of say, what's your job, what do you do? I always used to use the crowdwork as a pivot, really, where I'll chat to them a bit, like to warm them upside.
Starting point is 00:12:51 and then get something out of them out of a babysitter or being late for work or what time they've got to be up and then spin it into the routine. So then it looks like you've just got, oh, and you're off. And then once we're off, we're off. Yeah, but then that, weirdly, that's what makes the gig. I always call it that liquid funny.
Starting point is 00:13:06 So you have 15 minutes of liquid funny that is so specific to the room where some woman called Mandy has got a cat and she's got to be back for the babysitter or whatever. And then you're able to bring your material into the room. But that could, it's so full. the room. It can't go viral. No, of course.
Starting point is 00:13:23 That whole idea of, I find it's so funny that you're improvising specifically, not for the people in the room, but for people on the phone. So you're just going, what do you do? And you're kind of looking to this audience that aren't there. And, you know, I just, it's not really for me. I kind of, if things happen organically, let them go, but I don't really want to berate. And I also remember what it feels like to be in the front row and that panic of going,
Starting point is 00:13:47 oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, you know. But some people love it, though. I had a bloc him Michael put his hand up when I'm Pete the pillow man I'm Pete the pillow man I'm like what the fuck and three years ago he was in the front row
Starting point is 00:13:59 because he was sat on a pillow and I'd spoke to him about this pillow and he's Pete and I was like yeah I had a growth but it's gone now I'm like fucking hell
Starting point is 00:14:06 I'm like Pete I think you should read Brad as Pete the cancer survivor not Pete the pillow man yeah but that's lovely and because you've done a really nice thing with it you didn't, that's what I mean,
Starting point is 00:14:22 it's when you can kind of turn moments into something sweet and funny and unique rather than, right, let's just shit this out for the masses. The worst father was, but all the emcees did it when I was new, there'd be two, when Brokeback Mountain came out, and if there was a man in a sort of played or cowboys kind of shirt, collared shirt of a check pattern on, it would just be homophobic,
Starting point is 00:14:44 you gave them, like that kind of stuff because of broke that mountain. I was stood there. I was like, this is mental, but they're all doing it. But can you imagine? Can you imagine what would have happened if the guy went, yeah, no, I am. Oh, for sure. Fair enough. It's just your boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Yeah, it is actually. Actually, it's my husband. Yeah, well, you're married. Yeah, yeah. It's legal now. Is it? The touring's legal rights. They're not going to believe this.
Starting point is 00:15:10 David Cameron. So, Russell, you take your family on tour. Yeah. Like, what would your day be like that? Do you feel like, because. I've done that a bit and stuff like but I find are you literally with your son before the gig
Starting point is 00:15:28 or are you like right I need to shut off I had a moment just one of the oddest moments who were doing a gig in where were we? I think we were in Seattle and because we were on a bus so the bus would drive from let's say Portland we did a show in Portland
Starting point is 00:15:43 what's that how big is this like what a picture like how much 12 is that for a family oh so the way it works it's called a star bus, right? And I've done a bunch of these in America, and I famously, in my head, had, I had Dolly Parton's tour bus one year,
Starting point is 00:16:01 which was incredibly exciting. And our driver, he was a guy called Cadillac Jack. He'd come out of retirement to do this kind of one last tour, and he used to drive Steve Martin. So he had so many brilliant stories. It was great. Was he a huge, that Russell Howard fan, then?
Starting point is 00:16:19 Was he just in some debt? Why was he back down? No, I think he was in there. He was, he didn't know anything about stand-up other than he'd sort of told with Steve Martin and just that he was like a mate of his. And he'd been, he, because he was also, he was a Vietnam War veteran. And he told me this fascinating story that, I mean, great in the dead of night when you're driving to Minneapolis.
Starting point is 00:16:39 The, the, the US government gives veterans, I think four Viagra or six Viagra a month. They kind of send them. and he was basically bemoaning the government just like just can't get Jesus Christ like just stop sending me Viagra do you know what I mean it's like I can't use all this damn stuff like it feels like it feels like they really try to pressurize me to go out and try and bang women and I can't do that anymore Russ and I was like yeah I know what you mean jack he's left there mate there was there was a lot going on so he was he was driving my tour manager Kumar would be in you have like six bunks.
Starting point is 00:17:18 So Kumar would be in one of the bunks. I would be in one of the bunks. My wife's friend was in one of the bunks. And my support act, Joe Maggio, was in one of the bunks. And my wife and son were in the kind of big bed at the back of the bus that they would sleep in and had a kind of a little kind of shower if they needed it. And there was a little cot. So they would kind of go off.
Starting point is 00:17:43 So basically what would happen is we would drive. from one venue to the next overnight and then park up outside that venue. And then in the morning, we would kind of wash in the venue in their showers. And sometimes they're amazing. Sometimes. Yeah, that's a gamble. I'll tell you what is a gamble is when you've got an eight-month-old son. And he wants to sit on the green room carpet.
Starting point is 00:18:09 And you're like, who was on last night? It was a metal. It was a metal band, wasn't it? Up you get. It was folk. Go on. There you go. You're fine. So yeah, that was pretty murky. And then what would happen is my wife would get ready to go to bed to put my son to sleep in the bus while we would do the show. Oh, perfect. And she was having a shower and he was in my arms with 15 minutes to go before going on stage in Seattle. And that was a really, you know, you kind of need that hour. Yeah. But there's just no world in which you can sort. say to your missus, can you bring the child in with you whilst you wash yourself for the first time today?
Starting point is 00:18:51 Because I'm incredibly busy. I need to think of my thoughts. The other thing with that hour is, and I know this, maybe we've all got different things we do that hour. But what I want to do is zone out by looking at my phone. Do you know what I mean? Or just do nothing. So it's almost even worse to go, could you just take my son? because I just want to look at Instagram mindlessly.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Yes, wild, isn't it? It's not like I'm pacing and remembering the show or something. I just need to almost not exist, if that makes sense. Yeah. It's a funny thing, isn't it? Or kind of like, it's so interesting, the rituals that everyone goes through. I remember a really brilliant moment during lockdown, or the beginning of the lockdown.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Or maybe, no, we were just coming out of lockdown, and I was doing these shows at Clapham Grand, and Michael McIntyre, mean it was like you know can i come and do to do 10 minutes i said absolutely and it was so have you got 10 my culture yeah but it was so funny because he had a gig for a for a year and you could see him backstage kind of like revving himself up it was incredible to see someone which a talented comedian just he was just chatting to people and just trying to get it it was you know that thing where you're like wow you forget even someone as incredible as him this is clearly his process he's
Starting point is 00:20:13 got to go and find strangers and just make them laugh and just sort of... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I try and zone out, but then about 20 minutes before I'll go and annoy the sound engineer or the tour manager's got. I just need to speak at people for a bit, just to warm up slightly or otherwise it's just like such a cold opening. I used to do that for my TV show. It was like I would go up, I'd be away from the guys I wrote the show with and I'd just
Starting point is 00:20:36 go up for like an hour to kind of just chat to the researchers and sort of and do exactly that. and clearly they're busy. I do that with wardrobe. I'm going to sit there. I'm incredibly like making a last minute, you know, Royal Guards outfit or something. I'm just sat there going, can we watch Top of the Pops too on your screen in it? It's funny, but it's, but that kind of very, I don't know, like low level, just chat with strangers is, it's so invaluable.
Starting point is 00:21:08 But hopefully they'll come an age where my son is able to just, chat with me and that'll be nice. At this point he was just kind of looking at me and I was looking at him and Did your wife enjoy it? Enjoy it though like because you know it's a lot of ball like moving around it's great for you because you get to see your son and stuff but like it should probably
Starting point is 00:21:26 just be easier in the house. Yeah but the bus The bus became that it was a moving house so we had everything and you know we were in so she went with one of her mates came so then they you know when we're in Europe they kind of went to the Van Gogh
Starting point is 00:21:42 museum and they kind of then the next day they're going to the we're in Paris and they're kind of mooching about and then right we're in Vienna and they're kind of off and they were doing stuff so it was brilliant so she had a friend yeah that makes a difference on your own is depressing in it well yeah exactly this can you just because I were just like making notes and trying to write stuff about the place we're in and whatnot so yeah it was great it was it was I would thoroughly recommend it and it and also it was kind of you know my wife was on maternity leave and when do you ever ever get the opportunity to kind of travel from
Starting point is 00:22:14 Yeah, yeah. Like I've got the, yeah, the itinery was nuts. We were just like did Berlin and then kind of, you know, Munich and Vienna and it was incredible. It was so much fun. And so will they be coming on this one as well? Well, hopefully, my wife's back at work now,
Starting point is 00:22:31 but she works Monday to Wednesday. So I booked it Thursday to Sunday. So she can do Whip switch and Nottingham. She can't get out of those ones, Russell. Well, this is it. Well, but, you know, it's a bit different wandering around fucking. hip switch for the day,
Starting point is 00:22:43 isn't it? Or you're mad. She can spend a Saturday and Sunday in Stockton? Well, it's a bit like, but can she do it on a wet Tuesday in Stoke? Do you know what it is? Anyone can tour in Amsterdam.
Starting point is 00:23:01 So are you driving around in a bus for that one? Or are you just back and forth with a tour manager and she'll start home? Yeah, so I'll kind of like back and forth and, you know, get back whenever I can. So then you'll have the baby like Monday to Wednesday, essentially, and then you hand over for the, for your tour shows at the weekend.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Yeah. That's a great set up doing it. You've absolutely nailed it so far. It's absolutely bulletproof system. Well, it was, that was the plan really and it's worked really well. And also you then, at the minute I'm kind of, like, when you're in kind of like stand-up mode, it's so much fun. And then when you're in dad mode, you don't kind of, you know, it just feels like the perfect mix of like, you know, of doing the two things. What I find interesting is like, so you, I'd say you and Rob are the two people I know that are most kind of teethy.
Starting point is 00:23:46 But Rob's natural. Easy to work with because they'll provide a lot of stuff and I can just sit there. So it's been a lovely morning. Now, the two people I work with that you like love comedy and stand up. I've got a theory that almost every comedian who I'm friends with wanted to be a musician but became a comedian. But I'd say you two don't really.
Starting point is 00:24:16 really for the maybe the two exceptions but if you go romesh would have done anything to be a hip hop act a castor want a castor wanted to be a drummer joel was in a metal band ed gamble would be in a heavy metal band nish kuma would be bob dillon if he could be all these people wanted to be musicians but became comedians but you two are comedians right so what i find interesting is like that was the central thing of your life right and then you've had a kid and how have you found it as You know that phrase like the pram in the hallway is the death of creativity or whatever? It's not that. But it's like, how have you found it has affected your relationship with work?
Starting point is 00:24:56 Do you know what has made me think? To bring up McIntyre again, I have such respect for those comedians that got incredible when, and well, including, you know, you guys, you had your kids young. I mean, I'm 45 and I've kind of done everything comedically that I ever dream. empty I would get to do. And I now have a kid. And it's like, oh, cool, I'll do the job I love alongside it. But the fact that when I was doing the Edinburgh Festival, I didn't have a kid. McIntyre had a kid. That's what if I knew. Do you imagine? It's so incredible that he was able to write all these genius routines. So what I would, what I, it feels to me like,
Starting point is 00:25:40 you have this kind of parental responsibility to provide. And that this is the way that I provide. So it feels like, almost like gigs are like you're going out searching for firewood that you can then bring back to the family. This is the only way I know to kind of provide. So that's, I feel that that's changed me slightly. And listen, I'm fine financially, but I still feel that need to kind of. I totally found my relationship with the work in terms of, I saw it, not like it became a, but I saw it much more financially once I had kids.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Yeah, it's weird. Because it felt like I was doing this for the family. now. It wasn't, it is essentially quite a selfish kind of job in a way. Do you know what I mean? If you, where you are going out for all yourself, you're doing blah, blah, blah, blah. And when I had a kid, it did totally change my relationship with like the thoughts I had around work and why I was working, if you know what I mean. But what never goes away is when you have that thought or that idea and to bring it back to Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan said that he wrote songs to perform for people. So I can't I can't entertain myself.
Starting point is 00:26:47 I don't have this skills to sit with myself and write a book and enjoy my own company. If I think of a thing, I need to say it to strangers so that it becomes something. Because before that it isn't anything. It's just an idea. Yeah. But that feeling, and I bet you you have that. I don't know. When you mention all of those comics, that the great thing we get to do, we get to write songs with people.
Starting point is 00:27:12 that essentially that's what a routine is. You have this idea and the audience let you be funny and they let you get to a place. When they laugh, it opens up other roots because you get egged on and it's all this now and it's so immediate. That's what I love about it is. You have an idea you can go out that night and say it.
Starting point is 00:27:29 You don't have to run it past a producer or anyone else or another band member. It's just yourself. Or it can just come to you and it can be anything. And you're only ever sort of two months away from being brilliant again. If you're a bit bored with your stuff, you can just sort of sit down with yourself, have a few thoughts,
Starting point is 00:27:45 and just go to a club and try and kick it, kick it around. And that's what I love about it. It's the ability to kick it about, you know? So you, like, you had an insane work epic. You're so ambitious and you did so well
Starting point is 00:27:56 and everything you touched sort of turned to gold. Like your Russell Howard's TV show was massive. It was on every, it was basically on every Edinburgh poster. They must have been like, they were so, everyone was like the Russell Howard. They wanted to get on your,
Starting point is 00:28:08 another comic show like to showcase themselves. But like, obviously, you had long writing days for that and he was really committed. But I found when I had kids, not so much financial thing. I've always had that. I think I speak for all of us. None of us come from any money so that you always have that thing in the back of your head. I'll need to keep the money and you're worried about money.
Starting point is 00:28:25 It's an inbuilt thing. But I used to find that like when I did mock the week, I'd work so hard and I'd be killing myself to do as much as possible to get it as best as best. But now I'm at a point where I go, right, the kids have finished school. I've got five good jokes. I'm just going to have to accept that that's all I've got today so I can see my children. and make that sort of, do you ever struggle with that where you feel like, oh, I'm not giving my career 100%.
Starting point is 00:28:49 But what you've just said is like the perfect working class distillation. There's a book called Deep Work by a guy called Cal Newport. And there's about, I guess, 300 pages in this book. And you've summed that up exactly. But it is, but it's like if you want to work deep, let's say you do two hours. and then you stop and whatever you got you got and then you put the you put the laptop away or you put your notepad away and that's that and then you go back to your life but it's this kind of gradual um because tomorrow you'll come up with another five and then the day after that another five
Starting point is 00:29:27 yeah and then you can get rid of four of those and then it's that kind of process i think otherwise like imagine being you know i'm 45 imagine giving up spending time with your done just to kind of, you know, come up with a routine. So I just have to, you have to, you, but you have to then put it into some sort of system. So you go right Monday to Wednesday, I'll work my bollocks off like I used to. I'll do a proper nine to five, you know, if I, if I'm writing or whatever, or Thursday to Sunday, I'll properly go for it on tour. And then when I'm in dad mode, you know, you just kind of hang out and see what happens.
Starting point is 00:30:08 And it's incredible. and what's amazing about having kids is every cliche is true. Yeah. They'll sometimes, and they are so oblivious that they've given you a memory forever. That's what I find fast. And they won't remember any. But he, I remember my son just put his, he put his head on my sort of inner arm. And he just like, just rested it there for a bit because there was no other place in the world he wanted his head to be.
Starting point is 00:30:37 and I just felt like so happy and like oh god I just warmed my entire soul and then he just like just wandered off and he has no idea and I'll now look like it just feels like that's his place moments like that why would you give that up just to go right I got to write this bit about Farage Did you struggle? Did you struggle with that though? Like you say you've read a book about it So it must have been something that was playing on your mind And with a working class background I think we are built to go right You've got to move all that sand over to that
Starting point is 00:31:09 You know, it's like you work your bollocks off for 12 hours And that's how you feel like you've been successful And done well that you're completely exhausted At the end of it Like did you struggle with that balance? No, I think honestly I think if you're trying to create something And you get something out of it like I do
Starting point is 00:31:23 It's just about setting a time limit, isn't it? It's like, I think Seinfeld speaks about that. It's whether it's two hours, four hours, whatever it is. Just do it, right, and then just put it, put it away. And you have to change your life because when I used to do the TV show, I would work. That sounded all-consuming. It was crazy. But Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you know, Monday, and then Tuesday, we do the show.
Starting point is 00:31:47 And then Wednesday, I was in the edit and Thursday. So it was kind of like some weeks, but sometimes it's 12 weeks. But I loved it. And I also felt like I was responsible for kind of steering the ship of the show. Well, that's your name on it. That was your purpose. To that point, a young kid who wanted to become a comedian. You've got your own show.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Your name's above the door. You're in charge. This is everything you've ever wanted. But then all of a sudden, this thing lands in your lap that's way more important than that. Exactly. And it's so, and it's also so much fun and so kind of tiring. But, you know, my son's beginning to walk now, which is just great. and, you know, he's kind of, he's kicking a ball, which is, you know, as a football fan, the most
Starting point is 00:32:28 exciting thing in the world. And he's kind of talking and you're reading in books and he just wants to hug you or, you know, and he's just beginning to do jokes. So you say, kiss, do you want to kiss? Can you have a kiss? And he'll kind of turn his head away and then lean his head in and pull it away. And just all these lovely things that you're so, I love him. I love him.
Starting point is 00:32:51 I've said it. I've said it. The test is can you do stand-up where you don't sell your kid down the road for the... Welcome to our world. Well, do you know what I mean? Yeah, because you don't want to kind of... I remember my friend Al Pitcher told me an insane story that it will always stick with me. He was doing a joke about his son and his son was four at the time and they were in Sweden where he lives.
Starting point is 00:33:19 And his wife was going to be looking after his son. they were doing this festival and the son walked into the crowd he's at the back of the crowd he sees daddy on stage and daddy can't see his son and daddy does a joke about his son and everyone's laughing and his son's going that that's not true that's not true and he can't be heard because the laughter is so loud oh my god And then the next morning at breakfast, when this is all, you know, this all comes to be, his four-year-old son just looked at him and went, it was just so unfair. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:34:04 But it's, I think about that so much where you go, God, I can't imagine how awful that felt, but it completely changed Thal's perspective where you go, yeah, right, I have to make sure I do stuff that you can stand by. Well, that's kind of the rule I have. and I think, Rob, you're the same, is it's about me. It's not about, it's about my relationship to being a parent. Yes.
Starting point is 00:34:31 And my relationship to trying to be a parent. Yes. And because being a parent is basically like an apprentice task. You know how the apprentice task is set up to fail? Yeah. You know, like the producers make an apprentice task where however hard you try, you can't succeed, basically. That's parenting.
Starting point is 00:34:49 And like, I think that is. the core of the joke, isn't it, when you're talking about parenting, is that you're trying because you're desperate for its seed and because you love your children so much, but you can't help but fail. And that's why I find it difficult if it's like, there's loads of things I wouldn't speak about because it's like, you know, that's my daughter's business or that's my son's business. And that's kind of... Not everyone's like that. And I always find that fascinating where you go, it works now, but at what cost? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:25 You might be making money now, but you're going to have to save that for therapy. Is this being said out loud by someone else or just my own mind talking? That's been the thing, and that's like from the start, we decided not to put any photos up of our children. We don't say their names anywhere.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Obviously, we do this podcast, but like I say, I always, so this is my, I am talking about my experience, of being a dad that my children are sort of bit part players in as opposed to she did this the other day and then there were a couple of moments where I have done that I've not always been perfect with that but when they were a lot younger but now they're much older I'm really steering away from exact moments and it'll be more me going oh my god I tried to get them up from school I tried to do that
Starting point is 00:36:08 that's more but it's really funny as well parents relate with more than my kid because no one cares oh my kid said a funny thing the other day everyone just think they'll fuck off no they didn't you think it's funny we don't yeah it's fun it's a bit like what your tattoo means. It's like you should know. Oh, you strings. And nobody gives a fuck. But then I throw my brothers and my parents
Starting point is 00:36:31 and the extended family right under the bus. We fucking, I'm booting them under. Do you know what I mean? I throw away and I feel like, but they're grown up so I'm allowed, but it's sort of, it's weird, isn't it? That like... Well, it's funny.
Starting point is 00:36:42 My brother come around my house every day and like my brother has a preternatural ability to get out of trouble. Like, it's extraordinary, like the amount of times where I'll give you an example. During COVID, we were doing one of those Zooms
Starting point is 00:36:55 with all my cousins. It was brilliant. We're all kind of drinking. And it was, you know, I was hanging out with them. I felt like I was in the room. It was great.
Starting point is 00:37:02 And all, like Lee and Lewis and they're all, everyone's there and Jake's there. It's brilliant. And then we hear this like running water sound. And I look over at my brother's like quadrant. And I'm like, are you in the bath?
Starting point is 00:37:15 Right? And my brother goes, people wash, you dickhead. And suddenly I'm the, weirdo. My brother has that ability where you got. I've got him there, but he's kind of looking at me. He's completely naked. We can't see anything, but he's just chatting away, kind of washing himself, it's disgusting. So the other day, we've got a dog bowl on the table because my son likes putting his hand in the dog bowl. My brother walks into the house, looks at my son,
Starting point is 00:37:42 who's in his chair, and does what he knows to be the funniest thing. So he puts his head in the bowl and starts drinking from the dog bowl pretending to be a dog. Now, I found it very entertaining. It blew my kids' mind. Just like, oh, and water's going everywhere, really, really going for it. My wife comes in and understandably says quite loudly, what the fuck you're doing? To watch my brother goes, maybe next time, offer your guests a drink and just walks out of that. That sums him up that you go, no one has an ability like him to do that. But I guess that's, it's stories like that, isn't it,
Starting point is 00:38:19 where you're trying to do those kind of, kind of parenting adjacent stories. Yes, they're kind of in them and it's funny. And I'm, I've always been quite mindful, similar with my misses, of not wanting to kind of make their,
Starting point is 00:38:34 like, because my wife's a doctor, I don't want to make her life heart. Yeah, do you know what I mean? I think like times a million with your kid where, you know,
Starting point is 00:38:43 what have you told a story? And they, and it was really funny, but then they've got, got to deal with the repercussions of that story. And I don't know what school is like now, but I know what it was like in my day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Can you imagine that? Children hasn't changed. The children haven't become like, yeah, yeah. I was brilliant that clip of you shitting yourself that thought parts gone viral. Yeah. And he's like, great, I've got to go to school now. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Exactly. And everyone knows about that. Yeah, exactly. It's that, it's that funny thing. We often ask like kind of how, because obviously there's a very, different generation we are to the generation above. Plus we are kind of
Starting point is 00:39:21 we've lived a real different life because often we're interviewing people that have done kind of mad things. We had cassette tapes which now feels like something from the fucking Victorian age having a warm man with a cassette for like my child now. What is that? Mate, listen to this. I was at
Starting point is 00:39:38 Top Secret the other day and the MC said we got any 20 year olds in and a big cheer. We got any 30 year olds? Big cheer. Does anyone know anyone 40? And there was like a couple of and the MC went well done on surviving the pandemic. And you're like going, oh, God. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:39:55 We are. We are. It was just that moment where you're like, flipping how we are now the punchline. So like, because I watched your, and it's a really interesting, like, really great documentary, the one you did about the pandemic. And it sums up what you were saying earlier about,
Starting point is 00:40:12 like, you know, you want to get out there and you want to connect with people. People don't know, though, Russell, when you basically flew to New Zealand in the middle of the pandemic to go in isolation in the hotel so that then you could move freely and do shows in New Zealand because that was the only place open because they'd done quite severe lockdown measures at the start. So you went there to isolate so you could tour. Yeah. Insane. And your parents are in that and they couldn't be two more different parents in the world. Yeah. So you've got your mum, your dad who's like an achiever and he's like
Starting point is 00:40:45 really straight and then you've got your mum who people all have seen on things who's very sweet kind of um kind of really mumsy woman what have you taken from that like and well have you consciously taken stuff from that yes you must do hey but i'm i'm i work quite hard because my dad's you know a real work and also my my dad's just a very strange man like if i did a travel show with my mom where we just chatting all the way if it had been with me and dad it would have been two men who looked very similar, sat in a car in utter silence. He's absolutely not interested in me. You know, he's just, and that's fine, and I get it.
Starting point is 00:41:27 But, like, he used to, he'll come to gigs and he loves the gigs, but he'll be so honest. Do you know what I mean? Oh, really? Yeah, he started slow. He started pretty slow then. You're like, well, you know, sometimes you start slow, don't. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:41:41 But is he doing that because he doesn't want you to get too big for your boots? think or is it actually real feedback where if you had a quiet moment with yourself you'd agree with that comment or you know what do you think it is i never know i it's it's kind of the mystery like it he's just a very he's a lovely odd fellow my dad um and my dad is fairly indifferent to me and my mom loved me too much and i think that's how you become a comedian my he's little soul you're looking for Daddy's approval. It was a bit like doing, yeah, in many ways, it was like doing the downstairs gig at Top Secret
Starting point is 00:42:20 and then the upstairs gig. This is great. This is absolutely fine. Oh, God, oh, Jesus, I've got nothing. So if your son had done a gig and you watching it and you thought it was a bit slow, but then he got into his groove, what do you think you'd say at the end of the gig to him?
Starting point is 00:42:40 Oh, Jesus, what a question. Like, I just think the style of parents, parenting is so different these days that, so for example, but my, so my dad, so my mom back then, was it? Well, but my dad's, my dad's dad left before he was born. And then his mom died when he was young. So he, like, just wasn't really ever, you know, and he was like living in a car when he met my mom when he was 16. So, you know, he's kind of, he's, he's on a surface of that team. At least his son's upgraded to living in a bus. That's the I remember at Christmas our dad would just, you know, he'd go on and go off and he'd just like light a fire at the bottom of the garden.
Starting point is 00:43:22 And we sort of knew, be like, oh, right. He needs a moment. Yeah, he needs a moment. It's so funny, you know, that generation. But it is that generation. You're like, oh, dad's burning something. Even age eight, we were like, you know, but he's just got, I remember having a bit that sums him up so brilliantly that there's a kindness. And just he's inadvertently weird.
Starting point is 00:43:47 So my sister's, my sister had a rabbit. And this thing was twitching because it had mixed mitosis. And my dad killed it with, uh, with a spade like in front of us as kids. Oh my gosh. Just went clear like whack, whack, whack, like that. And even as a kid, I remember thinking maybe clear the perimeter first before you'd panget. But he genuinely was like, I just don't like, I just don't want to see it suffer.
Starting point is 00:44:13 And you're like, well, that's fine. But, you know, she's six. I'm like, listen, I find it incredibly entertaining. Like, I've got an ability to look outside of my world and see that you're mad. But she's, she's done now, Dad. She's six. And the honest truth is, me and Daniel hated that. He's my brother.
Starting point is 00:44:29 We hated that rabbit because we had to clear it out. So when Dad killed it, it was just a glorious day. I've just suddenly like going, get in. We've got our Sundays back. But, you know, Like that's the thing we just, my entire childhood was just jobs. That was what all the time was just kind of this weird like, you know, get a paper around, right?
Starting point is 00:44:52 And now, you know, dig a hole and help me put this fence up and like, bright plastering, like doing plastering when you're nine. Like plastering is hard. I don't think you can do that now. If you don't skim it right and then you're like, fuck, you know. He must say if he's had that difficult child and was living in a car and he's seen you, all of you and your siblings all do. so well for themselves and you know you're traveling the world with these big sold-out shows it must
Starting point is 00:45:18 be really proud deep down yeah of course it's yeah he just yeah and he he adores my son and he adores my my sister's kids he's like he's a brilliant he's a brilliant brilliant dad and granddad he's just he was forged in fire so there's there's gonna be uh there's complications whereas my mum is it's got like six siblings and you know everything was rusey really it's all right That bristolian. I was left in a pram once. And that's my mum's big story. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:45:49 I was left in a pram. And I just left. And nobody took me. Nobody stole me. So she kind of makes it very much about herself. But my dad would never kind of go, well, I see you're stuck in a pram. And I raise you this.
Starting point is 00:46:04 And so how are you then going to, like, as a parent, do you think about this? Like, obviously, and we both discussed this. we could make our children's lives really so much easier than it was. Yeah, it's difficult, isn't it? How do you do? Yeah, well, I think, I don't know, I just think my wife's really clever and has a really good emotional intelligence.
Starting point is 00:46:28 And so I kind of, like, she's definitely the leader, I think, of how to parent and I'm, I kind of like, feel like, she's like, you're the assistant. You're like, she's pet and you're one of the assistants. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And sometimes I'm like that bloke at Newcastle and everyone's like, sit down there. I'm just trying to get in the front of it. I've got it with you having. Trying to shake the one's hands at the school gates.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll sort with that out. So I kind of, yeah, I kind of, it feels like you're the, the sous chef to the kind of the main chef, really. But, but I don't know, maybe it just got like, again, so to put it into sort of context, my dad, I read my dad's diary. My dad went to university on a scholarship. And I read his diary when he was doing his finals.
Starting point is 00:47:17 And he basically did really well in my exam. I'm pretty certain I got 85%, which is mad to kind of react like that. But he kind of won a medal for like the top degree that year. And the next day he took me down the beach because I was won. And he was like, took the board to the beach. He loved it. So again, it's like how were you able to revise? know that you did really well in the exam and then still be an amazing dad.
Starting point is 00:47:44 So, yeah, it's very, I don't know, like I feel very fortunate. I almost feel like I'm stepping into, like, when my son is, I'm five, I'll probably be retired, probably be doing gigs occasionally, and I'll be like this weird stay-at-home dad. And I'm quite looking forward to that. Like John Lennon, when he had his period where he just lived with his son in the Dakota building. Yeah, I think so. I just kind of want to do the school run.
Starting point is 00:48:07 You'll be school run. I do. mate honestly i did i did nc t i loved all that i think that i think if you fully commit to being school dad right and you do all the pickups all the drop-offs your wife's working you've done your you know you've you've hit all your ambition points in your career you and you join all like the parent group you're it's a good little it's like what is it you get when you go off heroin is it called like methadone you can just sort of just get a little bit out of that sort of a need to be funny comedian thing just at the playground to do a quick five pick the kid up and go
Starting point is 00:48:39 And it's like, keeps you on a level rather needing to gig all the time. Do you know, I think it probably will be like that. And I'd just be looking at my son, he'll be in the back going, I did it right that? But a few more than it turned up. There was a bit of a vibe. But at the start, it was hard work. It's always that funny thing, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:48:56 Because I don't know if you're all the same, but I will try stuff out on anybody. Just, you know, just got, if there's an opportunity, if I've got a little bit and I meet someone in the park, it's like, bang, I'm in. Does that affect you when your gig, so I've, I have, that. If I'm gigging though, I'm empty. I've got nothing to gig. If I've done a gig that week, like, and I've been gigging a lot, I don't. But if I'm off the stand-up circuit, I'm not gigging
Starting point is 00:49:18 at all. I'm awful for that. You're a problem, right? Until Lou's kicking me. You could never retire, Rob. No, I just have to sort of, I have to just narrow it rather because I've got, I can't do that. I don't know if Russell calms down a bit when he's on tour with the trying stuff out on people because you've got you're out there. Yeah, but you still, like if there's that I bet no I don't if the opportunity like well for it it's sort of like I'll give you
Starting point is 00:49:46 an example of like of this is a so there was some I was on holiday recently with my son and he was chasing pigeons and it's just this thought I've often had in my head and he was chasing the pigeons and I was going right I will never have a better opportunity
Starting point is 00:50:01 because we are quite literally seeing the thing I'm about to observe so the audience couldn't be more primed And I've tried this bit before to deathly silence. But I was going, well, it might work now because they're actually seeing it. So I turned to this kind of, this white, I was kind of going, I said, look, it's funny, isn't it? The world over. You know, the kids and pigeons, they're always chasing pigeons.
Starting point is 00:50:27 I said, if there's any justice and the Buddhists are right, then paedophiles will come back as pigeons. And it fucking ripped it. like that and I was like there you go I knew it and it was just that but it was that horrible thing
Starting point is 00:50:42 of guy I knew that was funny but what how will I ever get it but yeah so if there's ever an opportunity we're gonna have to kick around pigeons
Starting point is 00:50:49 from now on mate but it's the fact that's a big joke to sling in at a fucking breakfast restaurant of like if the buddy's are
Starting point is 00:50:57 right that they're pedophiles aren't they two eggs you can I just I have that I have that illness I just
Starting point is 00:51:05 because when people laugh, for me, it basically helps you realize that you're not mad. So you, and so, so, and some of the stuff is, like, I often think, can you imagine if they interviewed our partners, like the partners of comedians, because those poor people, they have to see all the jokes that don't make it to the stage. Like, like, all the, you know, these kind of weird half thoughts and is, is that something? I want to, and that energy and need for attention, really, because it is, you know, we have got a need to, you know, It's weird. We may be in denial about it,
Starting point is 00:51:36 but there is that need, we need for some reason. Yeah, I wonder what it is. Yeah, I wonder what it is. But I think there is that similarity between music and comedy that they're just songs. So you kind of go,
Starting point is 00:51:49 you know, you have this very visual idea, I think, very often with a joke where you kind of go, right, that's funny. Now I've got to find the right words to make strangers see what I see in my head.
Starting point is 00:52:01 That's kind of what it feels like to me, being a comedian, that you're kind of like, oh, Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. I've got to find something now so they can see what I see. Your son being a comedian. How do you feel about him wanting to following your footsteps as a comedian?
Starting point is 00:52:14 I would love that. Would you? Really? But I think because you would be able to kind of help, I think. And I think I'd be quite good at that in terms of like, I often, I really like giving people ideas. You've got me very careful, you know. when you kind of offer a joke, but I love giving people a tag for a joke.
Starting point is 00:52:39 I'm not really very kind of precious about it. I've gone, oh, you know that you should do that, be really funny. So I think I'd be like that. But I'd have to kind of make sure that I let him have his own kind of voice
Starting point is 00:52:51 without trying to write it for him. I think that would be the worst. If you were just trying to do everything. That's really funny. You should, members, try this or... Like the dad at the side of kids football.
Starting point is 00:53:01 You don't want to be the comedy equivalent of... Yeah. You've got it. You've got to be slow. You've got to sit with it a bit more before you hit the punchline. You're too nervous, son. Yeah. But again, to make it about my dad, so my dad, when he used to come and watch me play football,
Starting point is 00:53:15 he's not really interesting. He's not really interesting. Good footballer, aren't you? Listen to this. This explains it. So my dad used to watch me a footie and go, oh, are you going to do something flash or what? So he would, rather than, like, track back or give it easy.
Starting point is 00:53:28 My dad was on the sideline kind of a couple of robunas, a little pirouette. Oh, wow. Some stepovers. This is tedious. son. Like so I've never heard that ever in football
Starting point is 00:53:39 that kind of in it mad imagine that imagine being 10 years old you go come on let's have a couple of croif turns Jesus Christ
Starting point is 00:53:46 these people are dead yeah remember it don't pass it on else but yeah I don't know it's
Starting point is 00:53:55 because my wife's a doctor as well so it's that thing of it's probably a safer job you're both healing people well
Starting point is 00:54:02 it's but one actually is and the other one. And the sad truth is you won't find a doctor who wants their kid to be a doctor because it's unbelievably difficult where you're like, I just have an easy life, just be a comic, you know, but I don't know. How about you? Would you like your kids to be?
Starting point is 00:54:19 Oh, I don't know. I like the idea of, I quite like it when they're into things that I'm not into and I feel like I'm joining them on their patch, if you know what I mean. That's a better way. I'd love him. I'd love it if he did something creative. Like I'd love him to be a, I think that's where I'd be a nuisance. If he was a songwriter or something like that, I'd be kind of like, yeah, let's write some lyrics.
Starting point is 00:54:44 I would love that. Dad, I don't want you to, I don't want you to learn a guitar solo. And you've got mates of musicians. It's so far. I've got a pal of mine who's, and I'm all, I could, I cannot have dropped enough hints to say, you know, have you ever. Oh, somebody. And he's so. So maybe you do want to be a musician.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Russell, after all that, maybe you are one of the people? I would love to be in a studio and see people. Like, watching Get Back, I love it. Yeah, that looks amazing. Yeah, like, as I was part of the team, like, fuck singing and dancing and playing. Yeah, well, this is it. But the idea of being, being around. So splitting the money.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Ugh. Yeah, you're a sketch act. Fuck, off. Just be overheads of the roadies, Rob. Think about the other. Jesus, but it's why all the sketch acts, you never get working class sketchucks because it's like, I'm not splitting it free ways. Fuck that. I'll do all the voices. I'll go full Eddie Murphy on this.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Do you want to ask a final question, Josh? You go for it, Rob. Because I've just, I've just got a thing saying your disc space is almost full, so I'm slightly panicking at that moment. Final question, we ask everyone, what's the one thing your partner does as a parent where you go, oh my God, she's amazing? Like, I'm in awe of her. I couldn't do this about her. And what's the one thing she does that frustrates you slightly, parenting-wise, that if she was to listen, she might go, yeah, I think Russell's got a point there. Oh, gosh. It's a bit awkward bringing it up face to face. Just her, the composure, I think, that's what I find. One thing that blew my mind, and I don't know if you had this feeling with your partners,
Starting point is 00:56:20 was their instant ability, women's instant ability to hold a baby with such perfection that they know all the angles and where the head goes and the, you know, they just clink and just her ability, whereas I held him like, like a man on fucking mesquiline holding a fish. Like I was so like, like just, like I had no kind of grace. So that's why just the serenity and grace with which she does motherhood, I find phenomenal. And her ability to, to just do it effortlessly, whereas with me I'm very much kind of honestly, I had to put the cot together, which was all I had to do in the grand scheme of things. And I would argue that putting a cot together is basically male pregnancy.
Starting point is 00:57:13 And I had a very difficult labour. Like, I was, you know, there was all sorts of noises come in. And, you know, I said some pretty full-on people about the Swedes. Just, just screaming. But that's what I find incredible is just the calmness and the effortless. My only criticism, my only critique is very specific. She'll go, oh, can you go and get some socks? Or can you go and get a coat or a jumper?
Starting point is 00:57:43 It's in the drawer. And I go in the drawer. And for whatever reason, I can't find it. I can never. I can never find it. I'm there going and I'm looking in every inch going, oh, not again, man. Where is it?
Starting point is 00:57:57 It's got to be here. I'm looking at everything going, where the fuck, come on. Right. like, okay, it's not here. We can say with real certainty, it's not here. So you go back, oh, yeah, there isn't, there's no socks. And then she'll walk in and go, they go, and they appear instantly.
Starting point is 00:58:13 And again, that feels like a critique of me. But I just want to know what she's doing. Like, where are? It's amazing. It's so insane to me that I can, it'd be a good five minutes. And the panic, you're trying to stop a bomb going, come on, man. Yeah. You don't want to give up in that situation.
Starting point is 00:58:33 But when they're here, they can't be anywhere else. Like, she's going to find them. She's not, well, she can't find her because they're definitely not here this time. You're fucking right, man. And then you go back and she finds it. And that, the failure you feel when you come back with nothing. And then she goes and finds it instantly. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:58:48 B.S. by it, really. Oh, Russell, this has been brilliant. Thank you so much. It's been a joy. I really enjoyed that. Thanks, fellas. Russell Howard. There we go.
Starting point is 00:58:58 I think you're right about that. Russellard is one of the people. comedy that loves doing comedy. Pound for pound, I think he loves doing stand-up comedy more than anyone that does comedy. Russell is on tour from January the 22nd. Yeah, great venues.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Go and see him. Right, Josh, I'll see you next time. Oh, parenting hell listeners, recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whitakam here. I have got a new podcast, Josh Whitakam's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it, I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that really...
Starting point is 01:00:12 realize Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real, when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh, the Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from you too, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are, by the way. Either you know what these things are, and you're about to learn far more about them,
Starting point is 01:00:39 than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff necks will learn, lose next will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitakum, available everywhere in the 1st of January.

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