Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S12 EP14: Seann Walsh

Episode Date: February 20, 2026

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) it's the return of comedian and friend - Seann Walsh. Since we last spoke he's had another child with partner Grace and is navigating the considerable increase in energy and bandwidth anyone with two kids (let alone close to two under two!) will understand very well!! Seann Walsh is on tour with This Is Torture, tickets are on sale now and available from https://www.seannwalsh.com. Parenting Hell is available to watch on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  (Copyright 2026) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So Josh, News UK have voted the new Vauxhall Frontera as the value car of the year 2025. Rightly so. And do you know why I can say that, Rob? Why? And you know this, I've test driven one. Oh yeah, and I've been test passenger. I got to drive the frontera. Faults.

A, the tech was so good, right, that it was just simple. I felt like it was my car the moment we were moving. Yeah? We had loads of bootroom. You saw that? Oh, I had a little peek in. the back. I was thinking this is perfect for a family. It was spacious. It was easy to use. And do you know what as well? No offense. I wasn't too near you. No, no exactly. There's so much

space in the front. I didn't feel like I was touching you. I couldn't smell you. It was great. It's available in electric. It's available in petrol hybrid. The electric is cheaper. It is available from 23, 995 pounds. Ah, that sounds like value to me, Josh. That's great value. Great value. Top value. Do what I did, Rob. Test drive. The new Vauxhall Frontier. Terra today. Discover more by searching Vauxhall Frontera online. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell, Whitt. Rosie, can you say Josh Whittaker? Josh Whitaker. And can you say Rob Beckett?

Rob Beckett. A good girl. I'll do it again. She wants to do it again? No chance. Gone. Sent. Yeah. This is my 36-month-old Rosie saying your names. Three. Yep.

I started listening only in July this year. What? Michael, get us another fucking clip from someone who cares. Well, no, no. She does care. No. She's not refused to listen for five years. She's just failed.

You've got to understand. Sally, what is your effing problem? You've got to understand, Josh. We live in a world where not everyone knows about Josh Willickham, okay? And they're coming to you fresh. Everyone's made the mind up good or bad. I love listening to the pod while out walking with Alice in a pram or our dog. Kevin.

The partner always takes the piss out of me when he sees me listening to the pod as it makes me laugh out loud and I just look like a weirdo chuckling to myself. See the couples that I get coming to my show. Why take the piss out of his wife enjoying herself? Yeah, with men that she's jealous. Men that she finds funnier than her own husband. He's just annoyed that she's got men inside her ears making her giggle. And he don't like it. He's ego can't take it.

Yeah. Thank you for being mint company on my walks. Keep it sexy and relatable, Sally, from Manchester. I've got nothing against anyone inside Lou's ears. She's also called Sally Walsh. So... Sally Walsh. It fits with today's guest.

Sean Walsh. The repeat, the second, the sequel. The sequel. He was on before? He was on before. It's third time. Wow. So he's got two kids now.

Yeah. Has he been on with her second? Can't remember. We'll find out. We'll find out. But he's got two under two, and I know how bad that is. Yeah, yeah. And he messaged me a few days ago saying,

how he's struggling. Well, that's good. That's what we want to hear. I think he's going to come in stressed and it's going to be perfect. Ideal. And his tour starting soon, so he's going to be vulnerable.

Yeah, yeah. So should we really twist the knife? Yeah, let's try and get him crying. Yeah, yeah. Click it up for Insta. Yeah, yeah. And watch the clicks roll in. Yeah, but we really want to get him crying on Insta,

but we're not allowed to talk about anything that's gone on. We want a new thing to get him crying about. Okay. Let's see, I don't actually want him to cry. I feel really bad, actually. It'd be horrible. How would you feel if our guest cried?

I'd feel so awkward. Yeah, and I feel bad because I feel like... Oh, God. And then what do you do? It's like, Stephen Barlett, give them a tissue or something, and I hugged him. Let's be honest today. We're sat in a small room, no disrespect to the room, in Spotify. Yeah, we want to disrespect the room.

Yeah. And like, there's someone crying there who's only here to promote a tour. And suddenly they're crying, as if that's going to sell any tickets. To a comedy show. To a comedy show. I don't see. I'm going to come and see your show. I saw you being really sad on a podcast. Yeah, let's not get him crying.

No, let's take that back. He's not going to cry. He'll be all right. Here he is. No, so talk us through this, because actually we spoke about the shoe trainer before, as dads. They're important.

I don't believe in the shoe trainer. But I don't either do I, despite wearing the show. So, Sean's come in in the shoe trainer and then said, I can see you're looking at these. I was worried about it, and neither of us were looking at them. What I was more concerned, you've got like a smart shirt on a jumper and a baseball cap.

Is that to avoid people recognising you? I'm a big deal in West London, yeah, I have to have the cap down. No, it was raining. So the cap, it keeps the glasses dry, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Glasses people? Yeah, that's what, yeah, no, you're right, yeah, but that's what I thought there must be a reason. Yeah, so you worried about the trainer show.

Yeah, very much so. You look really well, though. Yeah. Do I? I think you look really like. I thought you was going to look more like, your hair looks good, glasses are great,

and you look quite healthy, and the beard's on point. Okay. I think you look good. This is lovely. Thank you. Obviously, the shoes are fucking

shoes. Top up, head up, but I've got, it's a shame we've done this in person on Zoom you and have smashed it. I know. Do you have,

do you have, so this is to be more specific. It's the smart, it's a broke, basically. I tell you why I don't have trainer shoes because I'm not a pundit on football focus. No, no, they're just trainers that are dark with a white soul.

These are brooks with a white trainer, what do you call it? So they are a smart shoe, but the soul is of a walking shoe trainer. Yes, but this is a white sole. This is a white soul. Is the soul actually bouncing soft like a train, or is it just white like a trainer? No, it's a bit of bounce. That's why I'm going to, it's just to, is this because you're kind of entering dad, middle age? Do you reckon that that's adjacent with lower back problems?

Yes, I don't think it's the dad thing. I think it's just being older and your body can't take. Well, I got lower back problems when I had our second baby because he wouldn't be put down. So I was constantly holding. And your arms are that weak? All the pressure was on the lower back. It wasn't just that he wouldn't get put down. He wouldn't sit down. He wouldn't even let us sit.

So you're constantly stood and walking holding. I can't. Now, I have to wear like a running trainer or something of a bit of bounce. So when I have to wear shoes for anything, like a smart gig or a corporate, I'm a mess. A hard shoe sole, it's like walking on glass. It's wild. It's not okay. You're like, why is anyone doing this?

I've actually bought, and I sent you the link, I bought a pair of loafers when I was in Japan, because in Japan, Assics now do smart shoes, but it hasn't got like the white thing on to show you. They're all black, so it looks like smart shoes, but with ASICs. Camouflage. Bounce. Kids used to get in trouble at school

for wearing a black trainer. Like at secondary school, some kids would try and get away with the black trainer. Yes, you're right. That was very much. It never pulled the wool over the headmaster's eyes. No, the bubble gave it away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The lights on the bottom. I got told by, what do I see? I've seen them all, but I think it was the physio that said that what's happened in, is the reason I've got a bad lower back is because I have a flat left foot. Right? So what's happened is my right knee, you start hearing this phrase.

Yeah. You've probably heard it used for yourselves, maybe, overcompensating. Oh yeah, for my personality. I've been accused of that loads. Well, my, my... He presents confident. I'm physically doing it. Yes.

So the right knee had to compensate for the left foot. So the right knee, went out but it overcompensated and then the left side of my hip had to compensate for my right knee and that overcompensated which is twisted my background and the doctor where was the doctor's physio told me

and these were exact words that for my entire life I've been facing the wrong way I don't know that I've been like a kind of toy figure that's not been straight enough after you've played with it Is that why you walk back and forth on stage so much? Yes

Exactly, to try and line up. Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Yes, I've been to them all. Yeah, so that helped me because I've got a hypermobile hip, which then makes, because it spreads out. See, which then does something else? Yeah, and then that does my lower back, and that's why I have to wear special shoes as well.

Have I told you it? When I went to a hypnotherapist. No. So I went to a hypnotherapist for insomnia. Right. And halfway through, he stopped, because an eBay auction he was doing was finishing. No.

Yeah. And I was like, is this part of it? Like, is this part of what's happening to it? So he stopped, won an eBay auction, and then resumed the kind of consultation. Did it fix it? No. No, okay.

So eBay's not working. I thought of it's always more intriguing because if someone says got a bad back, I just take it as, oh, they've got a bad back. If someone goes, I've got insomnia, how much you're sleeping? Premature ejaculation? All right, well, I'll quick.

Yeah, I mean, there's always an extra follow-up question where you do a quick bit of comparison to diagnose yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I didn't have insomnia. I was having a breakdown. Right, okay, wasn't that? That was a symptom, not the cause. It was a symptom, yeah.

And I refused to accept that both therapists and doctors were making that clear to me, so I went to a hypnotherapist to try and prove that it was just insomnia. Yes, that's it. I don't know, I don't like your diagnosis. It's dentist. I'm going to go to a second opinion, and that's Paul McKenna. Earned opinion. Oh, dear, it's good to know that we're all old men in their 40s falling apart.

So tell me about your. children. Here we go. So last time there was one. Yeah. Now there's two. As you both know, everyone... There's a third on the way.

Oh God, no. Jesus wept. Be aware that if you do have a third child, they will hear that. There's no, come on, guys. Please. Three is mad, isn't it?

That's insanity. Are we all staying here at two? Oh yeah. The only way that we go three is some sort of problem. Yeah. Like a different man getting involved. Yeah, Lou Essex is another man. Or Lou Essex.

Yeah. But so the jump from, you know, this is standard now, the jump from one to two is, it's not just one to two. It's kind of one times eight. Yes. Isn't it? You're there quite, there's a, was it, two year age gap, bang on two year eight. Pretty much. Two under two when your baby arrived.

Yeah. He's eight months. She's about to turn three. So it's a bit over. Yeah, a bit over. But. Yeah. It's a lot.

It's a lot. isn't it? I'm tired. Talk to me about your last night. Well let me tell last night. Well like taught me well let me just tell you what happened. Because you might have forgotten the levels of exhaustion. Are you still exhausted or you got through this?

Not since I went to the hypnotist. His strike rate's phenomenal. Also I've got a rave flyer that he bought for 12 £12.50 for me. That's what he was buying on eBay. Unbelievable. An old rave flyer. Oh my gosh.

God, this is fucking lunatic. Yeah, exactly. What was it in London? Yeah, of course it was in London. Where did you find him? Online. Yes. You googled as a hypnotist.

Hypnotherapist. And how many did you scroll down? Well, no, I didn't bother scrolling down. Just sponsored. Top mark, yeah, the sponsor. I turned up early and he said, of course you're early. Insomniacs, early because they want to be cured. Smoking, always late, because they don't want to be cured.

That's a good line. Yeah, good line, good line. He knows that as well. Yeah, and you hear that, and then you leave and you hear him say that to the next person and so on and you feel good because, yeah, I'm one of the ones that won it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I bet he doesn't sell that, so that's the smokers.

And he had, like, loads of lighters on his wall where people had handed in their lighters. Sorry, Josh, we've invited Sean, to talk about his children and his tour. We're now just listening to you talk about your hip therapy. It was West London. You like West London. I do like West London.

This is the most mental power play. Sean's exhausted. He's got another tour show tonight. I am exhausted. And you've brought him in and now he's got a nod. It's our fourth interview of the day. I know. I can't believe you're on your fourth.

I'm getting the dregs. The absolute, you are like, both of you, low on battery. No, I'm full of beans. No, good, good. No, I am. I was in Kennington recently and I had had no sleep because of the kids. And have you ever been at this point? I was walking down the street on the pavement.

and I noticed that it was clear. No people, no bins, no lampposts. And I thought, I'm going for it. And I did it with my eyes shut. And that's where I got my nap. I was walking with my eyes closed. I'm trying to combine walking and sleeping together. Amazing.

To try and make myself kind of active sleepwalk from destinations. In answer to your question, we're not as tired as we were when they were that. When I have a bad night, when something happens, like I, get back late from a tour show and then I have to get up I go oh this is what it felt like you get little flashbacks to it

where you've got it every day so what have I got to look forward to does it get easier this fucking mess easy in the clear you're looking at a man on easy street don't move three hours from your studio

that's my team that's my team that's the lesson there oh god The clouds were clear in about two years. Two years. That's what I've got to look forward to. How is Christmas?

Because Christmas is tough with kids that don't care. No, no, no, no. Wilder's about to turn three. No, no, no. But one young kid that doesn't care. I don't think, our Christmas wasn't tough. I've never been a Christmas guy. No.

Because, as you both know, my dad was into heroin. Yeah. But of course what that means is that Christmas isn't, it's not necessarily a priority in the Walsh household. Is it nice though for you? Because in a way, as a pair of the pressures off, because you're already offering a much calmer household than what you experienced. Oh, no, because I've think, in all of it. You're quite calm on heroin. I'll give it an example.

I don't know the high, but me and my brother were playing FIFA on the PS1. So 32 bit. Remember those graphics? Yeah, yeah. And my dad, he was sat there in the living room, smoking heroin whilst we were playing this. Oh my God. And he thought, genuinely, hand on it,

he thought he was watching Match of the Day. That's how off his nutty was. He thought a 32-bit PlayStation 1 Theta was match at a day. I thought this was Match of the Day. I'm no wonder, I was confused because it was QPR versus QPR. It was 90s before half time. Nine bicycle kicks I'm outside the box

Impressive game So what's his role now Oh my God My dad is I love my dad And you know But he's obviously scorched his brain For God's sake

He's in his 70s But you know He got my daughters God bless him He got his And my brain Unfortunately You know

I mean he's my dad So there are things That are being passed Down He got my daughter's Name Right For the first time A couple of weeks

ago. Oh really? You know, that's nearly three years in and wilder. You got it. Well done. And one of the, I could only remember one of the guesses up until that point. So what I thought you was going to say, when he said my dad got, I thought he was going to tell us about a Christmas present, but you just about got the name right. Yeah, exactly. He got a little outfit that was a bit young for it. No, no, we're at to name. Exactly. I'm not even sure he knows about our son. Yeah, does he know there's two yet? I don't. I'm really not sure. One of the, The guesses he had for my daughter's name was Wheatibis. Not at all.

It's all fine. And, you know, it's my life. Yes, of course. That's the thing. It's my normal. You know, we all know that. So, I mean, one guess for my daughter's name was Wheativix. How's Wheatovics?

Dad, that's obviously, come on, mate. Wheat is not a wheat biscuit. Heroin can't have the whole blame for that. Exactly. You know what I mean? Even heroin's going, come on. Let me have a break. Exactly.

So, yeah, there is that. kind of those blocches. But what I was going to say was, it means that those kind of more traditional, what are they, values that you get as a family, we didn't necessarily have those. So, you know, Christmas wasn't a big thing in my house. So have you been liberated by that?

Or have you gone towards it now? Because you didn't have that. Are you strong on, like, Christmas? I don't know if I'm strong on it, but I've really, since having Wilder, I've only first been aware of the appreciation for it. I've only just begun to find the kind of beauty in the lights at Oxford Street. I now like it.

It now does symbolise something. It does symbolise family. And so she's turning free. She was aware of Christmas. She was aware of Santa. And to watch her excited for something. And getting to, I mean, you must have gone over this. You must go over this every year.

But getting to use Santa as a means to. get her to behave. No, I would never do that, no. Come on. No, we were against that on this podcast, aren't we, Rob? Well, it is frowned upon in the parenthood. No, I've done the thing where you're on the phone to him? No, I've got Santa's number. Oh, absolutely right. I'm on the phone to Santa. No, no, you're not getting the else address. Cancel it. Would you do that in front of her?

Absolutely. Oh, that is a bit of strong, though. He's like so heavy. God, yeah, in 2020. And what would she be doing at that point? Eating a second biscuit or... It would be like she might have tugged Mildred's hair. Mildred's my dog. Oh, something she knows she really shouldn't be doing.

Exactly. And it is quite, yeah. And then you want the apology, make sure you're apologised to Mildred. I'm not apologising to Mildred! Oh, and then Santa helps with the apology. I'd say there is an argument that you're making a child apologised to a dog.

Well, apparently, loses me. So who's the mad one there? And then you're phoning. spoiler alert an invisible man Now does your partner Grace Lead more of the Because I imagine she had a bit more of a traditional upbringing

Yes With Christmas Yes very much so Introduce stuff that you'll go Well we don't need to do that What's that? And then as you enjoy it with her You go oh I can see why people like this at Christmas

And that sort of family Any sort of family traditions Because I remember when I used to put stuff out for Father Christmas When our front doorstep Because we didn't have a chimney We lived in a terraced hour so we used to put in the front doorstep.

So then like, when I was with the glue in the kids, I was like, right, let's come put it on the front doorstep. We put on the fucking doorstep for. Right. Because that's what you do it. Are you as loud and frenetic at home with your children or are you a calmer presence than when you're with me and Rob? I think I'm very soft with what's happened.

I don't know if you guys had this is grace has kind of had to take kind of main lead with Casper. asked our son. And so at that point, when that happened, I then got more time. Yeah, with Wilder. We'd go on with Whittaker. It was shredded wheat. Absolutely.

We shreddicks. It don't, he could do cereal for hours. Yeah. I know, yeah. It was starting whipping out ones you forgot about. Right. So weeos will come up in a minute. Reicycles are the astronaut.

Yeah, yeah. Good chance. Captain Rick. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you've got. more something Wilder. So I think I'm probably I don't know. They're so

sweet and so cute that I'm a lot softer. Yeah, but you are like you're at work and you're on a podcast before if you come in and being quiet that is your energy on stuff like I'm not constantly cracking jokes with the kids well actually I'm quite a bit I find. We go on like Daddy Day with Daddy Day where I take

Wilder out and what do you do on a daddy day? Well the last Daddy Day we went to because she had had the Pepper Pea She's not been to QPR yet. Because she had the Pepper Pig Goes to London book. Yeah. And Big Ben was on that.

So I thought it would be fun to show her the things in the pepper pig. Yeah, that's cool. And take her on the boat, the boat on the Thames. And we see there's a Pepper Pig tour bus you can do.

We have afternoon tea. I mean, that sounds incredible. Yeah, so it's like a little pepper pig themed bus and there's afternoon tea and there's like... Have you done this? Yeah, there's a little video. We did it together one Christmas

and there's little videos where it tells you... You enjoy it, sure. Oh, no, that sounds right. That kind of. Lovejoy, kids entertainment stuff. That's my favourite thing in the world. That's the stuff that you don't, before you've had kids, you don't really, you're not really aware of this world that's about to open. If you didn't have kids and you wanted to go on a tour bus to listen to a cartoon pig

and eat a sandwich, you'd get a section. But that's amazing. She loves pepper fig, she'll love that. Yeah, so I'll check that out. And so, yeah, those days and they bring out a version. What they do is they connect you with your childhood, I think. children. Yes.

Yes. So well and that's, it's beautiful to be kind of like taken back in time. And you're going to take them to KPR? Grace wants me to take Wilder to KPR now. I think she'd be quite scared by how I get. Yeah, but you wouldn't be the same person.

But that's why I like to be that. I like to be that. Maybe you've got to learn to hide who you are for your children, Sean. That's what it is, isn't it? Yeah. That's what parenting is. Lido! Lido!

Exactly. Fucking push up! We're going to see Big Ben in a minute. Move! What I'm always shouting is, I'm so mad, I've never heard anyone else shout this. Why are you walking? I hate watching football players walk.

Run! We've got to throw in! Run! But yes. So if you should keep you up, I walk into a throw and you shout while you're walking? If we're 1-0 down, yes! Absolutely! It tries me mad! Yeah, don't take her, yeah. Exactly, don't take her, yeah. The day after, you just see Wilder running everywhere.

Yeah, exactly. Just in case Daddy sees me walk. But I have questions for you, because I don't, a lot of my friends that I speak to. That's not how the podcast works. Because I don't have many, I don't socialise with many friends that have children. And also, having kids means I don't socialize.

You guys are at work. I'm actually meeting mates. My whole social life now is work-based. Yeah. Well, I think that what happens is, and this is probably a kind of combination between... Also, you don't drink anymore, and you're not comfortable in yourself when you're not drinking.

So how are you going to go out anyway? But that... Sorry, you having a conversation with yourself? Well, basically, not far off. But that... I was quite lucky, actually. I think I was lucky in that when I became a parent for the first time with Wilder,

that my life did, all right, okay, we're being kept up during the night and all right, you don't just kind of get to nap and turn on the telly. But it wasn't like suddenly my kind of world, as I knew it had been pulled away from me. I didn't go to the pub anyway. I didn't see anyone. Yeah. So it wasn't this total shift. It was just children entered the world. Yeah, but you've done a self-imposed sort of less going out. Because most people have kids, they stop going out as much and it gets a bit less crazy. But you'd already done that yourself.

I've done it in the order you did because I had a couple of years of overlap where I hadn't made my peace. I mean doing, I can't imagine, you know, I've not drunk. Not where I was going out all the time.

But what I mean is where the thought was there, but now it's not. But you two must have, at some point, as of course many of the listeners, have parented, hung over. Still do. I can't,

you, pussy. That is unfathomable. I can't imagine. That's like... How many years since you had a drink? I think six or something like. like that. Often people want to know why you've not. It's always, they want to know why

and I think it's only other two reasons. You're boring or you're too much fun. It's basically, alcohol never really agreed with me or I fucked a badger. And it's one of those two. And I'll let you guess which one I am. Yes, exactly. But yeah, so no drinking and I think

I'm quite pleased about that because obviously with my dad's addiction and then cutting out alcohol, I'm hoping we don't know, you know, the results are yet to come in. You're hoping that you're Julian Dean, who's been on the pod. He once said this. I'm using this from him.

I loved it. It's cutting that circuit and trying to do as much as you can to cut that circuit of the effects that having an addict parent. Yes, of course. You know. And so you've never parented hung over. Never parented hung over. Yeah. I just can't imagine that.

No. Does she not drink either? Not really. Not really. Not really. Not really. Yeah. I did the school run after that.

night at the euros when I was down an alley No, you didn't, run. You weren't hung over, you were still drunk. That morning was the most famous I've ever been. I was stopping fucking traffic. Because I went mentally viral, England had won, and I went on Zoe Bulls show and Chris Evans show, then did the school run still steaming.

That's absolutely phenomenal. Even like, the teachers were like, oh, people shouting chicken man at me out the window at the car. Shit. That's what you're known for, chicken man. That's fantastic. But yeah, no, it is awful. And I've stopped drinking.

Now I would only have two or three drinks, max, and then I've done just because I like that little giddy feeling, but anything beyond that, just... I find it wild when you see parents that properly go out. All I can think is, how are you dealing with the next day? Not, I'm not judging them. I'm thinking, I can't do that. No, no, absolutely.

Like, I wish I could have done that below. The answer is, though, isn't it? It's like, if you go from drunk to hungover, to, like, and recovered to drunk again, you're never truly in yourself. That's the cycle I lived in since I was 17. Any chance where you have to think or look internally, you can cover that up with, I'll get a pizza because I'm hung over.

I'm feeling better now, oh, I'll have a drink, and you're back in again. That's it. I mean, and let's be honest, I think, yeah, you know me well enough for this to be known as the case. You know, life is hard enough without me being hung over. I struggle anyway. I don't know if you saw my Instagram But yesterday He woke up

Is this meant to be Helping me sell tickets He's come out He's come out on fire today Shoes off, big gulp off he goes Well I just went to the wrong venue again Yesterday For the third time

If it's even third, probably fourths Where did you go? What? Well can I just say in my defence So I once went to Hereford instead of Hartford I once went to the wrong, is it Newport? To the wrong Newport. Yesterday, in my defence, it wasn't because I got the names of the towns confused.

I'd got days confused. And I thought yesterday was Tuesday. So just in case you thought I was an idiot. So you're going tonight to the place you were meant to be going last night? Yeah, the barman will recognise me. It's through there, isn't it? The comedy, and he went, it's tomorrow, isn't it? And straight, well, you know, and you know immediately.

And I went, yeah, see you tomorrow. Just walk straight out. Just doing a recie. Everything seems to do it. You know me, always that's getting prepared. Yeah. So what questions have you got down? Because I'll speaking to you and Grace about holidays and stuff like that.

Well, sleeping. So what we do, and I don't know if this is odd. I actually said to Grace, should I keep this to myself? And she said, no, they'll do it. And she thinks you might have done this. But I, Grace. Upside down like a bat. So anyway he gets off.

He swings up the hypnotist. God. Yeah. The, uh, Grace is in bed with Casper. Yeah.

In our room. It's not in my room because I'm never there. Because I'm in Wilder's bed with Wilder. Yeah, yeah. That's basically our situation. Yeah. Right.

Is that, is that? How abnormal, normal is that? I don't really know, but I, I like it and that's what we do. Well,

that's the thing. And it's kind of just, I tell myself stuff like, and I do believe this. At the moment, my son's in bed with Rose. And my daughter's in bed with me on the,

floor next to the beds are all in the same room. What? Okay, yeah. Now, you thought you were going to be the weird one. Why are you all the... Because we've got mattresses. But you've got other bedrooms. Yeah.

Yeah. So the only place he can sleep is on the floor of his bedroom. Jesus Christ. Look a dog. His dog's got a better bed than you. Yeah. Can I throw my hat in the ring here on this? Yes, definitely.

Now, so I think that when you've got a eight-month-old baby, kind of thing and it's been a baby there's that period where it needs to be with the mum if you're doing breastfeeding and there's a cot in the room or whatever so I should say this hasn't always been the case we've reverted back to it in the last year

because you've been moving house and stuff because we've been moving house and stuff but I think so basically there's no point you come in in the middle of night and disrupting all that so you might as well just get in with Wilder like what you're doing that's how I think it naturally happened as I started going I can't be bothered

to wake up and go in there I might as well just stay there But at some point, are they going to have to share when they... Initially. Yeah, so there'll be a point, though, where you have to, from eight months or older, whenever it is, move your son into another room. Yes.

And eventually, you'll probably get back into your bed, and they'll be in the room together. But I would say, Josh's situation at the moment, it wasn't always the case, but it's basically descended into slight chaos. Because of circumstance. And now they can't get back into the right bedrooms because they're getting the other bedrooms done.

But now the standard is, Well, my son would describe it as his room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. But he's three, four? Four. But I love it. And I went, and it won't last forever.

This is the thing. So I, well, not, I was in there. Or what if it does? That's the worry, isn't it? What if it does? But I remember going to go and sleep in the main bed. And then just having that feeling of, but she's not going to be.

that small forever. I've got to use this now. I've got to use this moment now. Now I think it's all a little bit, whatever works for the house. And, you know, so our kids go, but sleep in their room, but then the youngest one kept going to these night terrors, so she comes in quite a lot. So then what will happen is she'll come in the middle of night

and either getting with us or one of us will get out and get in bed with her and do that. So she'll go to her own bed at night, but then she wakes up a night a bit scared, she'll come to us. And rather than just go, you've got to go back in your room, you've got, we just go, I'll just get in. and do it that way. So everyone's got a different...

But they used to go sleep in their own beds and not bother us at all night from the ages of sort of like four and six onwards, but then all of a sudden it's shifted again. So it's constantly... You just never know. And also, I think people just get hung up on stuff a lot. Yeah, but I would say in your situation,

it's mad to sleep on the floor when there are a number of other bedrooms. That's what I think is mad. You don't have a bit more before. You don't need to be. on the floor, you're doing all right. You're going to get a spare bed, it's a lovely squidgey mattress.

It's a lovely squidgy mattress. No, but I would say that I think it's fine to sit, but I think you could just be in a bed with her. Possibly. He's just slept on the floor every night for months. Look, when he's so tired, he's living on the floor, mate. That's why, I'm getting the consequences of it.

I can't believe it. I can't really adapt. I can't really adapt to the hotel room bed. It just feels a little higher. Can I move the mattress on the floor? Any space in the lobby? Any space in the lobby? And now for a special part of today's show, what age should you be left at?

And it's brought to you by Monzo. Yes, basically, we're going to discuss what age kids should be left to get on with things themselves. Monzo helps give kids a safer step into independence of money, setting goals, budgeting and spending while parents still have oversight. So that part feels covered. But what about the other stuff? Like, can they use a toaster, for example?

Or have their own phone? That's a very picky one. Now, Josh, what age are you going to let your kids go out of the house on their own to the local shop? Well, we've been discussing this, Rob. I've been talking about, like, she's got other friends who live nearby who walk past our house to go to school. Yeah. And what age are we going to send them to school? I reckon at about 10, they will walk as a group to school, kind of picking up people on the way like a bus.

Yeah, see, that's hard for us because they're in a village. We let the kids go to the neighbour to get parcels on their own. What about if you went to a shop and you were like, oh, there's no parking or something? Because you just go in and get, you know, a pint of milk. I'd probably, the 8-year-old and 10-year-old, and I'd send them in together to a garage to buy something with cash if I'm parked outside the garage. If I'm in a restaurant, I can let them go to the toilet on their own. Yeah. Give me another one.

Give me another one to test the age. Oven. I think they could do that now, my daughter, but she doesn't. But I think she could easily. They both make me scrambled eggs. They can do that on their own. Did you, what age were you allowed to go to school? It was a driving thing, but then at 11, I got the bus, and I'd walk to the bus stop on my own.

So 11. I think that's the secondary school's the one, in it? Well, here's the thing on the other side. Yeah. My son, I don't want to swear on it, wiped his own bum the other day. Yeah. Because he's four. Part of him was like, well, that is good.

But how good to the job he's done. Do you know what I mean? Do your kids use toast? Do they do their own toast? Do they do their own breakfast? Yeah. No, because he doesn't. Obviously.

Yeah, obviously. And I end up doing it, but they could do it. Do you know what I mean? My daughter could. She doesn't have toast, though. I've got into a pancake situation. Do yours do their own? They'll make their own breakfast, so they'll get their cereal out and milk and bowl and spoon,

or they'll make their own toast and butter it. And they can make eggs if they want to make eggs. Lou makes the pancakes, the mix, but I think we get into a point when they could make their own pancakes. I wouldn't want to use in a hot pan without us downstairs. No, exactly, Rob. Toasters are right without us.

Do you know what? If you want a kid to help, my daughter's got very into, in the morning, she's done a checklist, which we go through, and it kind of empowers her to be part of it rather than me just telling her the next thing, if you know what I mean? Yeah.

And they do really want to do these things. That's the thing. We presume they're resistant. Oh, will someone do everything for me? But the truth is they enjoy the feeling grown up of it. We're the problem. We're the problem. We do too much for them.

Do you know what would really help on that, Rob? What? A Monzo card. Because that empowers them. Then they can just go out and pay for breakfast. Exactly. They can go out and have avocado on toast. Would you let them pack the bags for the holiday, Rob?

Not the whole holiday. Maybe hand luggage. Hand luggage. Yeah. I think that's fair. I think that's good. But then if you'd let them, they'll just pack like 20 teddys. Because they're not practical.

And then they get there. They're not going to go, I do need some factor 50. Yeah. Yeah, I do need an extra swimming costume because if that one's where, I'd want to put that one back on. There you have it. Monzo helps take care of the money stuff and we'll take care of the rest. Monzo's award-winning account for under 16s. Download your new favourite bank. For children at age 6 to 15, parents or guardian account needed first. UK residents only, T's and C's apply. What's your views on like kids TV and stuff? Oh, well, Kids TV. So, obviously, all I've got is, so Casper's just getting into,

I'm back on Miss Rachel, because Casper's now started with Miss Rachel. I miss Rachel, it was more tumble for us. Oh, really? Oh, God, Saviors. These people are saviors. Yeah, yeah. Casper's, you know, I just go, Miss Rachel. Put her on.

Do you let him have a screen or is it just on the big telly? No, well, see, this is, I'm very jealous about this. We came in slightly too late after they had kind of, after the discussion about how iPads were bad for you had come out. So we were too late. We would, I would now, if I was giving them the iPad, be aware of the discussion that screens are bad and time should be limited. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I've gutted that I missed, because there was the bit when the iPads were new, parents were just slinging them at their kids. Oh, so you don't have, he doesn't have them. We don't, so we don't. But the TV is doing all the, having you do that. Can I ask with that, is there ones you like and ones you don't like? Well, Bluey. We all like Bluey.

Yeah, we're up there. 15 minute episodes, you know, small shorts like crack. You start getting into them. You get that little circle at the end, you know, in the corner, it says like 11 seconds left or next episode, sat there, skip. Last week, I watched eight episodes in a row, forgot to pick Wilder up from nursery. On your own?

I'm kidding. I bought it. I bought it. I bought that. Yeah, no, so, no, Bluey, like Bluey. But we used to come home from the school run, and Mr. Tumble would be on for about an hour. And I'm like, why is he still on?

Well, this is the thing, isn't it? because generation alpha. I don't know. Yeah, right. The one after the Gen Z, them. Yeah. What's that generation that all slept with their dad until they were 25?

Yeah. The generation below our generation. The Gen Z are obsessed with generations. I know. It's young and old, guys. It's just young and old. I'm just not interested. No, it's not.

It's a trifle. People are so interested in generations. I'm not interested in what. There's young. The difference in gen. Eddison that is up. We're old, but we're not old. Yeah, we're middle-aged.

Yeah, but we're not like, what's my mum and dad? Oh. They're boomers, aren't, right? No, but we're in the same group as them. Have you seen what they're old? We're middle-aged. They're old, we're middle-aged. There was no generations when we were kids.

I'm so happy you've said this. I absolutely agree. They're obsessed with it, young people. Okay, boomer. No, okay, old person. Yes. All right. Yeah.

Do you know what? I think you've dragged me in. Yeah, thank you very much. So young, we're going children, young people, middle-aged, old. Dead. Yeah, but what's that what? You know that about?

Generation dead. And then there's Gen Z or whatever they're called. The younger generation, they'll tell you what all the different generations are like. And then they'll end by blaming you for the fact that they can't afford a house. Yeah. I didn't make this decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is awful for you.

And I agree. But there was no decision within our generation where we went, should we fuck over the next generation? I'm sorry, it can't be my fault. People can't afford a house. I know. But also, I don't know what have I done? No, I feel like that I started with. Fuck all.

And also, I have to say, these are the things you read. I think there's a difference between what you read about and what you see like out there in the world. You go to High Street on Friday night. I mean, everyone looks like they're having a great time. There are people in their 20s outside Weatherspoons going, oh, I'm going to afford a house. They're having a wonderful time.

Yeah, yeah. So we all turn into Clarkson. Yes. But what I was going to say is that, so these kids, kids, children, they're brought up with on-demand television, YouTube, and this is not what we had. So they have everything instantly just at their hands, whereas we had a window of three to five to watch children's break. It's 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. And basically, if you miss that, you're watching panorama with your dad. Yeah, there's nothing. Heartbeat, exactly.

But you know, that was more shared viewing, because I was thinking this the other day, my kids were watching TV and I was trying not to look at my phone and I was thinking Josh, I've bought sorry to stop cut you off there. I've bought to try and combat phone addiction. I've bought there's an app called Opel right, about 80 quid

that app stops you from using your phone I bought a lockbox which you put your phone in when you get home and I bought a thing called brick I've got brick I still use brick. I've got three I've spent over 200 quid on bricks trying to combat he's almost got a wall I've got devices to stop me from using devices I've lost I've lost

And what's your screen time? It'll just be what? It won't have changed. Because I won't put my phone in the box. What do you use the brick? The box is mental. I just scroll. I don't look at.

Doom scroll. Just doom scroll. My phone addiction is so bad. I was staying at a hotel and I went to charge my phone. And there was no plug socket next to the bed. You know that? I had to sleep on the desk. Another joke, Josh.

I don't know. I don't know. Is this really all right? Can we get a drum? I'm only the drum. There we go. That's right. It's not real. But yeah, no, it is bad, hence all of these devices.

So you're trying to watch a children's program and not look at your phone. This is how obsessies of his screen time, if he's driving someone, because it comes up in your sat-na. You know, the sat-nove goes on your car. He's turning his sat-na off. Yeah, the Apple Carve thing. Yeah, but he's turning his sat-nav off for the last 10 miles because he knows the route to make sure his screen time.

Because it's so you. It's charging me screen time for sat-hap. It's so unfair. That is so young. That's hilarious. So, Brick, right? It gets rid of all your time wasting apps. Are you using brick?

Yeah, I am using brick. But this is how I ended up... Do you know what brick is? So we've got the exact same screen time, so I don't know what he's using it for. Yeah, yeah. But this is what happens. I've got rid of all the time wasting apps. So I've only got like calls and Uber and stuff on it.

Okay. And so then I find myself sitting, waiting for a train or whatever. And I'm like, I wonder who I've called recently. And I'm just reading the boring apps now. Yes, right. I wonder what cities have got Uber Why don't I search? I remember when you used to go for a shit

I'd read the back of shampoo bottles Yeah, of course. Something. Something. My phone died from Leeds. Died at the beginning of the train journey And I thought, I can't do this train journey Just with my mind.

So what did you do? You got off? No, I went down the carriage to ask if I could borrow someone's charger. Like a crackhead. Yeah. Basically. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

in summons above you. I can see you all just trying to enjoy your journey. I don't need the charge of the entire trip about 40% will do. That's how bad. You remember that one? Was that from one of your daddy days out when you were a kid? So you're on tour, Sean?

I have on tour. Tell me about your tour. It's called This is Torture. I'll go for the date. Is it spelt tour as in torture? No. Should I have done that? No.

No, thank you. I don't think it's a good idea. It's called This is Torture. And yeah, it's a spring tour. very much looking forward to it. I mean, it's more... Best time to go on tour. Spring?

Well, yeah, because as it moves on, it gets brighter and lighter and warmer. Yes. Oh, do you know what, though? I quite like the autumn tour because then as it... Fucking, I'm just trying to get a bit of positivity. I'm saying I'm positive about autumn!

Oh, just join. You don't have to just be so edgy all the time. You can just join in. Yeah. All right, pro autumn. Here we go. Oh, here we is. I like it when the Christmas decks go up

and you're touring around and you're looking at the program, who's in the Panto and there's that excitement of the autumn tour. You're looking at the program to see he's doing Pantor because you've used brick on your phone. So you're having to pick up the leaflet on the phone. But yeah, it's cool, this is torture and it's basically

I mean, you know, I suppose it's, as with all of us, isn't it, it's more of the same? More the same. More the same. You know, you get to use, we get to you, what's quite nice is most people go to therapy and they pay their therapist to listen to them. But I've worked so that people pay to listen to me, talking about

my problems. So is there a theme to this or is just all the funniest stand-up you've got in the last year or so? Yeah, I mean, there's not a theme and I've not even tried to kind of contrive one. But I think there is a kind of crossroads where you are at 40 and you do have two kids. And so your life has changed probably more than it ever has done since you began to. It's the busiest your life will ever be in this moment. And it's the most it's going to, I think, anyway, we'll see, but it's like the most it's going to change. It's the most it's going to transformed. So you're coming at life, I think, from a slight, I'm making it sound much more profound than it. But you are coming at life from an angle that you wouldn't have been

coming at it from. So I talk about like the concept of knowing who you are. You know, you have kids. You've got to have some, now you've got to have some sort of concrete idea of who you are. And what your morals and what's your idea of that thing? Because your kids are going to come and ask. Absolutely. And so it's talking about kind of grasping that. Exactly who is it, I am. And then of course who you are most of the time depends on what mood you're in. And is it true that you end by at the end going and I am Sean Moore?

Yes. Who I am. That's who I am. No, it's actually wrong. You're close. It's I am human. I don't know if you're joking or not, you call me now. You've always been an incredible stand-up but like you was almost a little bit sort of not old enough when you were brilliant when you're younger but like you'd

moan about things and be angry and passionate about stuff that was a bit more like Tui, like, you know when you're getting a round of Yeager bombs and there'd be 40 people in the audience going, yeah, it's funny, but I'm not actually bothered about that, but now you're talking about real life things that really do matter to people. Yeah, well, when I was doing all that

stuff, you don't really realise when you're at the time, you think you've got, you've got an hour of stand-up and I was naive, I didn't realise that if you spoke about alcohol and your drinking habits for an hour in one show, then you might get a reputation

for someone that just spoke about alcohol, who knew. And I honestly just hadn't thought about the kind of consequences. But precisely, that is how I lived my life. And that is how a lot of people, that's how my friends lived therein. So, you know, now that I'm 40 and two kids and I don't drink, I won't be talking about that. But I'm slightly pretentious, probably, but I always end up being pretentious when talking about Stavard. I like to talk about, I think I even kind of alluded to it earlier, is there will be comedians that talk about the world you read,

And there are comedians that talk about the world you see. And I just much prefer to talk about the world in front of me, the world that I see, the world that we experience. I find that that to me is where the funny is. That's what makes me laugh. That is so spot on and I didn't realise I felt like that until you said it. So well, no way. There you go.

That was the best thing that's happened on this episode. No thanks to you. You gave a bit of space and he fucking drilled it top corner. My grace, my missus. My grace, my dear Grace. Shit, I'd tell you. fucking hell, you need her, don't you? Absolutely. But I have

to, because on my, I often, as you know, I have a podcast called Oh My Dog. I was about to ask for the other podcast promo. Oh my Dog. Oh my dog. And Class Clown, which you recently came on and it was fantastic. Grace is always having to correct me for things I've said on Oh my dog.

So she wanted me to actually just quickly mention if I can. I know we're short on time. No, it's fine. We're not short on time. Well, the but I mentioned, the last time I was here, I mentioned the breach birth, but it was an emergency breach birth, and we didn't have that with Casper. And so what

happened was, I don't think we were kind of entirely, or certainly I wasn't, entirely aware of the dangers of the emergency breach birth when it was happening. And actually Wilder's oxygen was cut off. Oh God, Jesus fucking work. And all the red levers were pulled, and in my

kind of naivety, and probably in the kind of adrenaline of the birth anyway, I and thank God, either was grace totally, but You weren't aware of what. We weren't really aware of the seriousness of what happened. And then when we had Casper and it was an entirely smooth birth, it was only then that I realised how kind of horrific.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That first birth was, and I'm just so blessed that it happened that way around. Because I was completely oblivious to how horrific and scary that actually was this terrible moment was happening in front of me. But luckily I had absolutely no idea. I did. It's the most me thing. And I told you I passed out, didn't I, the first time I had. But there was none of that.

Well, he says the reason why he passed out. It was horrendous. Yeah, it makes sense. Yes, yeah, exactly. Right, I've got your tour dates here. Okay, here we go. So we've got the Barry St. Edmund's apex. Oh, the apex.

Do the cities, I'll name the venues. Yeah, okay. Here we go. Have you heard of Leeds? The city varieties. Musical. Hartford. Beam.

Correct. Chorley. Little theatre. Correct. Basingstoke. Anville? Haymarket, no. Don't look at me.

Maidstone. Haslett. Correct. Cambridge. Junction? Junction. Yep. Stanford.

Corn Exchange. Correct. Sheffield. Classic. I love the Stanford Corn Exchange. Sheffield. Oh, Cursable? Steamworks.

Taunton. Brewhouse? Correct. Swansea. You'll never know. I don't know. Talia sits a scint. What the fuck's that? I've got no idea.

Good luck getting there. Yeah. South End. Cliffs. Palace. Winchester. Don't know, never been there. Theatre Royal.

Yeah, Brighton. Court Exchange. Correct. Crew. Oh, that is nice. Lyceum. Yeah. Coventry.

It's not Coventry. Warwick. Warkas. Fokston. Quarter House. Yeah, Quarter House. Lime Regis. No idea.

Marine Theatre. Fucking nightmare getting out of that. Oh, got an hour of country lanes. Okay. Swindon. Wyvern. Yep. Exeter.

Northcut. Yeah. Bristol. Vic Red Grove Hull Truck Yeah

God It's like You bet Liverpool Don't know Epstein Theatre That's got We renamed it

Oh no What is that I thought Colston Hill was bad Um Salford Lowry Norfantin

Correct Derngate Rola Derngate Correct London Hack the Empire. Correct. Well done.

That's a great talk. You'll smash it. Oh, yeah. Great fun. Thank you. That takes you through to October. Hang on. No, there's, yeah, there's a spring tour and then the London one's in October and we'll

see. We'll probably put in more dates before that and all of that. That's all before June. Lovely. Stuff. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Sean Walsh. Love a bit of Sean Walsh. Love a bit of Sean Walsh. One of the best stand-ups in the country. I'm going to go and see me in Fokston, I think. Are you? My parents always go and see him. Dan is down there, so I'm going to try and get to that one.

Good. Guys, see Sean Walsh. This is torture across the UK now. See you next week, Josh. Bye. Hello, parenting hell listeners. Recognise that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whitakam here.

I have got a new podcast, Josh Whitakam's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it, I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me, and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident

If you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth

the first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes some. on Mr. Blobby, when Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real, when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh, the Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from You Too, and David Haslehurst, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are, by the way. Either you know what these things are, and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiffnecks will learn, loose next will

laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitacom, available everywhere from the 1st of January.