Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S12 EP21: What is this life?

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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We'd love to talk, business. This episode is presented by Adobe Acrobat Studio. Josh, as a new parent, you get loads of information just chucked at you. Oh, mate, it never ends, does it? And it's so difficult to know what's helpful, what's important, what I should be ignoring, what I should hold dear to my heart. It just goes on and on. Well, imagine that's your job dealing with tons of data and information.

No, no, no, no, no, thank you. I would be appalling of that. Well, luckily, Acrobat Studio exists with PDF spaces. you can turn your docks into knowledge. It lets you bring all your project files into an AI powered workspace to get insights and ideas. So people can cut through the waffle, work smarter and save time and get on with the stuff they really want to do.

But the big question is, will it tell me how to get my children to eat vegetables? Do that with Acrobat. Learn more and try it out on adobe.com. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Can you say Rob Beckett? Beckett. And can you say...

Josh Whittickon. That's tickle. Say, hi, Michael. How welcome. Josh Pickle. Josh Pickle. Pickle would, Pickledcom. That's Pickle.

Yeah, it sounds like Tickle, if anything. John Tickle. This is Lucas, John Tickle. Do you remember John Tickle? Oh, one of the greatest big brother contestants of all time. Such a, such a great contestant. Sweet guy, but do you know what I loved on reality TV? nerdy people that wouldn't back down.

So why wouldn't he back, I can't. Oh, your fingers in the tea. Your finger in your tea, live on. Talk about a nerdy guy that went back down, mate. Just get a spoon. There's no need for this. Nerdy guy that won't back down. So you're dunking your tea bag with your dirty little thing. What are you going to do with that tea bag now?

Well, leave it in. Leave it in. I've got clean hands. You can't be allergic to yourself. You probably could. I've come out in a rash. I've only touched my knee and me hand again. Fuck sake.

Oh, God. Why are you in a fucking cryogenic chamber? I am right. Apologies. Right, we'll put a clip of this on the Instagram or a picture of it on the Instagram as soon as this comes out. Lighting's good, don't it?

You can either watch it on Spotify to see what is happening with Rob, who looks basically, who's the colour of David Dickinson. I'm not that brown. They keep putting too much cream on me so I'm not catching a colour. It's dealing my head is.

He's filming abroad. And did you bring your own kind of ice packing situation? What's going on? Right. Let me give you the lowdown. I am currently in Lancawe, Malaysia. Right. I'm filming Tempting Fortune.

I'm the new host of Tempting Fortune. Excellent show on Channel 4, reality show. Do you want the lowdown of what it is? No, because I've watched both series. Okay, fair enough. Paddy McGuinness used to host. Now it's me. By the way, I'd just say, no.

Could I have the lowdown of what it is? Yeah, you don't know what it is. You're too busy for this kind of show. Paddy, or Paddy's too busy for this kind of show now. He's stopped doing it. There's a lot of travelling. He's too busy going around the Crunch Cream factory, working out how they make them, isn't it?

Yeah, I never travel for work, so I thought I should, you know, spread my wings a bit, you know? Yeah. The show, game show is the 12 people land on this island in the jungle, 300 grand in the prize pot and then as they go through two weeks of trekking they get offered temptations and some take it, some don't,

and the prize pot gets less and less and less as a two weeks going. And are you one of the temptations? I'm a temptation. I'm sat here for day six when they get to spend a night with me for eight quid. I'm here filming this,

but what I'm in is I'm in a hotel room but I've also got to do my celebs-go-dating voice over while I'm here. So this was actually built for celebs go dating, and I've got these sort of soundproof sheets. It's difficult to know which of those shows going to win a BAFTA first, isn't it, Rob? Are you in it for BAFTAs?

No. Thankfully not. How many of Last Leggeron? Zero, exactly. They've got to give you one sooner for trying hard, surely. With four nominations, Rob. I stopped going. Like the Craig David.

Yeah, I was like, you can't do this. I can't do. It's three hours long. The thing is, though, if you did win a BAFTA for Last Leg, it'd be great for you. It'll be the only show you work on when your legs are quick enough to get up to the stage first. You'll get a good two minutes of script before Alex and Adam get there. Last leg is so unlikely to win a BAFTA in 2026. You might as well pitch Antiques Road Show to win a BAFTA.

Do you know what I mean? BBC News at 10 has won a BAFTA for the news. At last. I was like, oh, no, but you've got a bit edgy. I saw Vittorio. Yeah, too right. Having a go at Penny Morden, that's gone viral. That was good.

You've gone viral twice in two weeks, Rob. Oh, God, you guys, you're not messing about, are you? We're not messing about. Yeah, we're too bloody right. I'm a, you know, I'm a viral sensation. Anyway, I'm in this weird sort of makeshift audio box. Michael gave me a flight case. I took a flight case abroad with me that's got a microphone.

Did you have to do one of those things where you had to, like, sign it through in a different way. No, I just put it in my suitcase and I hope for the best. Anyway, I left just before all the Dubai stuff kicked off as well. So I got it. No one was accusing you of anything. Yeah, sorry, just get my alibi in quick. But I'm in this makeshift box thing and I can hear people having a beach party and aircon. Is it 360? I told me to give you a little twirl of it with the camera. I don't think you feel sick. This is why my mum stopped watching NYPD Blue because the camera work was two like live action dynamics. So it goes all the way around.

That's my little ring on a, uh, there's a roof. There's a roof. But then the roof is convertible. And then if you look through here, you'll see like, sorry for audio listeners. Is that where the temptation happens?

That's where the temptation. That's where the temptation secured. Should I just finish this? Oh my God. Have we not finished that? Emma Lamb. Hello, you sexy trio. this is Lucas, age 30 months.

However old, that is, I'm too tired. However, he is now four and one year old brother, also called Josh. Anyway, yes, so this is Lucas saying your names after sending this multiple times. I hope we finally made the cut. P.S. Rob, just finished listening to Lou's book and now want to leave my lazy-ass partner. I'm not sure that's what's going to happen, is it? No, I think, I don't know what's been to happen, really. straight sex and relatable much love emma and Lucas from tamworth

Tamworth why do I know that Tamworth take a football team I've got a football team that do occasionally and the FA Cup do well don't they Tanworth, Tamworth Town Tamworth Town Tomworth Town? Tomworth Town Rob yeah what's been going on I've got loads to tell you

Oh okay um the only parent parenting I've got is I left at 630 a.m and I said goodbye to one in the front room and then I burst into tears in my garden and walking to the taxi and then cried on the way to the airport because I was sad for leaving. That's it.

But then I'm over it now, I'm here. Yeah, exactly. Now you're a mahogany covered in a kind of... I mean, at the start as well. Doing three jobs in one hotel room. I know. I'm doubling up in Lankawi. Trebling up.

Podcast, Sleps go date, and the show. Yeah. And I've been tempting some full drive. I do look good though, don't I? It's delighting. Of course. Well, you're tempting. Rob. They're going to make you tempting if you're the temptation.

Hey, they just said, we need some sexy dude on here to make people get excited. Paddy actually said, could you upgrade me to someone fitter? I'm off. And they said, there's only one option. Paddy's fitter in me. Have you seen his body? He's so rude. He's so lovely as well. He was too busy to carry on doing this show. But he sent me a lovely message going, oh, good luck at the show. It's a great show. You're a great pick for it and stuff like that. It's a very classy man. And then he messaged me about the golf. There's a golf course.

So I play golf. There's a nice golf course. he told me about. I play golf. Please don't go. I'm about golf all the time. I'm not going to have. I've done. Okay, you tell me what you've been up.

I attended the wrong netball match. Again, didn't you do that already? No, I couldn't find the match the week before. Right. So it was World Book Day, right? Yep. It was, my daughter had a netball match, home match, thank God, right? 2 p.m.

Okay, perfect. At 1 p.m. I get a call from the school. Can you bring in her scort? You know, the skirt short. Oh, short skirt, yeah. Yeah, yeah, her score, obviously. You forgot to pack it.

Uh-uh. She hadn't taken it. Yeah, well, you could, this isn't about blame. Who was in charge of the backpacking that day? Huh. Does she, no, I'm not trying to stir. Does she pack all her stuff? Do you say, have you got everything? Or do you say, today you've got netball, you need this, you need that?

No, no, she's across it. So you're not across it at all now? I am across it, but she would be, I'd say, have you got your PE kit? I wouldn't say, could you, let's go through the items. Right, you'd say, have you got your PEA kit? So when does the PE get picked? I don't know when the PE kit. I should be speaking to Rose, shouldn't I?

Well, Rose wasn't here. So Rose was away. Either way, it doesn't make any difference because what happened was. No, no, so what's happened is, Rose has gone. No, but you're going to see the genuine one of the point. No, I haven't. You're just another victim to lose book. or conquest however you want to frame it yeah so i bring in the score yeah yeah then i go and get some

lunch and then i come back for the netball which presumably she's going to what she needs the score for yeah i'm stood at the side of the netball there's about six games going on okay i just can't see any parents or children i recognize and then one of the teachers comes up to me and she goes, it's under nines today. And I was thinking when my daughter's eight, that is under nine. Yeah. But she was like, no, your daughter's in under eights, which is confusing. Well, she isn't, is she?

She's after eights. And I'm not talking minty juggler. No, not unless they pay the right amount. We're not talking about it. Am I right? So basically she wasn't playing. And then I thought, well, I could stay. No.

The truth is, Rob. So she wasn't playing at all? No. So she'd ask for the scort Because her outfit was too hot That's not acceptable You can't demand extra clothes like that So that's why I was trying to stop you in your tracks

When you're chasing down Who had dropped the ball, Rob? So she'd invented a ball She's invented a ball that you dropped That I dropped And it's not your fault But I did think Rob Strictly I'm just showing support for the school

It's quite good that I'm here Yes my daughter's not playing but maybe I just want the school to do well. So you just assumed that it was a netball match because she asked for the school? No, she'd told me. Oh, so she'd got it wrong? Yeah, she's got it wrong.

She's only eight? I feel like you should still be slightly across the diary. It was on the... I found it on the list. It obviously got cancelled or something on the day or something happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So did you stay and watch to show the school your support?

I did, yeah, because I'm desperate for them to win. No, I left. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. It's not. What? Watching the... just not your children play netball's really weird it's it's weird isn't it but that's wasn't my fault

I know but that's but you know but you said you stayed I thought you'd say I was joking I was only messing around well it was just a little bit of a mess around just a little bit of a mess around yeah yeah oh dear um so then I had to go home and then I had to go back in about an hour later for pick up yeah oh by the way it's rose's birthday tomorrow oh what you got you can tell me it won't be out by now Oh, just various things from a list she gave me. And he says romance is. When did you ask for the list?

Or is this a list that you've written down over the year? No, no, it's an emailed list. She emailed you. This is the things I'd like. Yeah, take your pick. Oh, okay. Yeah, chose the obviously the classic. The mid-range items.

That's how you do it. It's like this is the second most expensive bottle of wine, isn't it? I really try and help you. I think you really don't help yourself with the range. stuff sometimes. Well, get this. This is annoying. I bought balloons.

Big 43 balloons to have downstairs. 4 and a 3 or 43 little ones. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think anyone wants to know and be reminded of your age. No, but it's a bit of fun, right?

Is it? I get a text off DPD yesterday. Yeah. Your delivery's been delayed 24 hours. What the fuck use is that? I've now got birthday balloons turning up the day after a birthday. I think you're rolling the dice ordering balloons online. No, because if your job is to provide

birthday balloons, you have to know that it's date sensitive. If you promise a Monday delivery. When did you order it? Like last week. I chose the day. I think you're rolling the die. That is a go up to the shops after school run job or the night before leave them in the car. No, it's not, Rob. So when were they getting delivered the day before? Or everything, Rob, everything I say, you'll just think, were just trying to pin it on me. No, when... Score. Whose fault is this?

Okay, the balloons. Whose fault is this, Josh? Who's fault is it? No, when did you... When is her birthday? Tomorrow? Tuesday. When did you order the balloons for?

For Monday? Guaranteed delivery. Guaranteed delivery Monday. I'm not turned up. Yeah, that is bad. I was away. I was away Friday to Sunday as well. Yeah.

No, and that's fine. Personally, I wouldn't risk balloons or a cake for a birthday because it is so day, and there is always problems in the supply chain. But that's fine. It's fine for different people. With different people.

That's, you know, that's, and I'm sorry, Phil attacked. I'm not an attacker. I'm a temptation guy. I'm not trying to tempt you. I'm trying to tempt you into a back and forth of good podcasting. You've tried to do a good thing. Balloons haven't come. That's fine.

They'll come the next day. And at least you know you've tried. Well, no, I think I'm going to ask for my money back, surely. I don't want them turning up. They're probably in transit, aren't they? How early do they blow them up before they send them, though? Because they've only got a short shelf. You don't I mean?

Picking balloons last a long time, don't they? So they're blowing them up. They're waiting for the delivery people to pick them up. They arrive in a big box. They arrive pre-inflated. So they've been inflated. They're not being inflated by the driver. No, no, I'm just saying, though, because you can have to inflate balloons,

put them in a box, wait for the driver to come, pick up the box, put it in their van, drive to your house the next day, probably. Yeah. This is the other thing with it, Rob. Can I really be fucked to get my money back? That's the truth of the matter. Do you know what I mean? This is how they get you.

It's the same with delay repay on Great Western Railway services. I chase down this 25 quid and I think, is this worth it? Then you have to press the button or do you have to fill out a whole form? No, you have to find the right email and then attach it to the form. Do you know what I mean? They make it hard. It's not a simple hose on this. You know what they're doing?

It's so easy to buy a train ticket. Yeah. So quick. It's one click. So how much are the balloons? They're 50 quid. Fucking it. That's a lot of money.

You're paying for the delivery there though, weren't you? You're paying a tenor for the delivery. They're not 20 quid a number. They were about 12 quid a number and then there's a bunch of other balloons. Right. Okay. Yeah. It's a shame.

It's a real shame. So you're happy with a present and what all she's doing for her birthday? We're going to Cornwall for the day It'd be lovely For the day Oh yeah You're in exit now aren't you Yeah

Keep up How far's got two hours A couple of hours A couple of hours, go down Cornwall chill out Couple of hour drive Enjoy the day Well no kids

No they're at school Oh so little day day day day Day day Rob Nice On the pier maybe Nice little Nice little break from your tour To drive to another location

Two hours there Two hours back Oh man Is that he driving you quick get under this duveh rose i've got a big range present for you ali's not drive me i went to the isle of man with ali at the weekend how was how was the island villa marina no the the matcham theatre yeah it was a lovely gig strange vibe there isn't there well no actually the first time i went i thought that was a strange gig the second time i

went yeah last time i was like this that was a lovely gig yeah but You shouldn't complain about this. Go on. But the sky remote in my room for the television. Yes. It was like being, I was like, fucking hell,

I'd forgot on those sky remotes. You know when you see a really old remote control? Was you in the sort of top floor room looking out at sea? I was looking out to see, yeah. My problem with going to the Isle Man is, if I, you get a nice room there and a nice hotel, but I'm sat on it going,

every single comedian I know has had a wank in this bed. So it was a lovely gig, but I'll be honest, when I got to Birmingham New Street and I still had a three-hour train, I was thinking, what am I doing? So you had to fly to Birmingham? It flew back to Birmingham. Oh, and then you had to get a train for Birmingham. There's no exit to Douglas.

There's no exit to Douglas. Exeter to Douglas on a Sunday morning. It's just you on the flight. Yeah. Where are my gloves? Come on, heat. Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be. This winter, stay warm.

Tap the banner to order your groceries online at voila.ca. Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary. Oh, man, and that flight on a airline I've never even heard of. Logan Air? Logan Air. Was it Logan Air?

It was Logan Air. I remember my first Logan Air. They gave us a Tunach's tea cake, which was very pleasant. It was a very nice flight, but you're just like, this is wild. I didn't know Logan Air exist. It's Scottish, but I've never known it to fly to Scotland. When people have flown to Scotland, they normally don't do a Logan Air, so I don't know where else it's going. Because these are two places that aren't Scotland.

So why has every seat got tartan on it? I've done a lot of Logan Air flights, but the first one, I was like, what the fuck is this? Why have you done a lot on Logan Air? Where have you been? I go to Audi and it looks like a plane.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That looks like a brand, but it's been tweaked, but it's very Scottish, but they're great, they're lovely, lovely people. Where have you been on Logan Air? So normally Logan Air is like. It sounds like a local radio station, Logan Air. I've been on Loganair from like Glasgow up to like Inverness or you know up to the highlands when you're doing like gigs because they'll be flying planes to go to the islands or like that.

Right. Is it Shetlands? I don't know. But yeah, they're good Loganair. But yeah, well, the first time you get on Logan air, you're like, you're like, you're living Exeter and you're doing Loganair. Did you go from Birmingham the first time then? No, no, no. I had last leg the night before.

See last leg. And then I stayed at Heathrow. And then you're like, the flights are half to. So you're like, Oh, fucking afternoon. Yeah. How did you kick on me? I went to the gym.

And then I did that bleak thing. I had to check out at 11, turned up. And it was like you can't even check in to the fucking flight for another hour. I was early to check in for my flight, for my Logan Air Flight to the Isle of Man. And you can't miss a flight to the Isle Man because it's not enough for the next one. No, exactly.

But it takes over the whole weekend, isn't it? It just was just my whole weekend. And were they, like, up for it? They're appreciative of the effort. A lovely great audience. It's a great theatre. I really enjoyed it. Did you say a wish over the ferry bridge?

You what? You have to say a wish when you go over the ferry bridge. If you don't, the cab driver will tear you off. And in my case, reverse back. Oh, I don't. Right. That didn't happen to me. Yeah, that happened to me.

Yeah, we got there. There was no taxis because this is the other thing. The Logan Air Flight took off early because we were all on. It was just like, oh, we could take off. So we took off half an hour early. Off and out. We got there

45 minutes before we were meno. Yeah. But then there was no cabs because no one thought a flight was coming in. Oh, so you just, yeah, right,

because I normally will get there for when it arrives, because they know. Yeah, they know. Gig was lovely. And then you are at the end of the day sat in your room watching one hit wonders at the BBC

on BBC two using a sky remote that you last used to play Beehive Bedlam in like 2003. thinking what is this life? What am I doing? Next time you should do a matinee and then you can make the most... No, you can't do a matinee

because you land at half four. Is it no morning fly? No! I think this is why I didn't do, Isleman. It's too... You can't even go, well, let's go double bubble it, make it worth it.

Yeah. You could do it maybe a 10 a.m. the next day because the next flight isn't until 12.15 or something. So what time was the first flight out of Isleman? We got the 1215, yeah. Oh, no, you want to be owned by then? Exactly. I don't know what to do.

I was just, it was, the gig was lovely, but the journey there and back was a bit where it was like, this is what people imagine. But it's a lot of ball lake for the... This is what imagine touring is like. Do you know what I mean? Actually, it's very normal and easy and you get home most nights. As long as you can't say rat on stage or they boo you.

I said, I said the mainland and they booed me, but it was all fun. What do you have to say instead of that? The other island. The other island, yeah, because that other island also has the first flight out of it at midday. Yeah. Yeah. I feel, look, I've really got no time for people that boo when you say the mainland. because let's face facts and I'm going to put all the...

I may not be allowed in all the other aisles, but I'll line them up, you're just a little fucking island. And that's why you're special because it's small, everyone knows each other, it's a close-knit community, but the benefits of that means there's no flights and you're attached to a mainland.

Okay? Let's just call it what it is. It's the main bit of land. I think that's fine. In the same way, And I'll tell you what I'll come and do more gigs If

What do what's so the other So what are we supposed to call it the other aisle If we're, if the mainland's called the other aisle Do we call it the other aisle The island and the other island I suppose But it's an aisle The island and the aisle

Well I don't know the difference between the island And an aisle No Never do I No But yeah There we go That was good day

A nice weekend And you've been off this week. Oh, I filmed myself on the train again. Oh, how did that go? So the first, we haven't talked about the first one. Thank you to everyone who tuned in. It went really well. We were right, because we said that it'd be, like,

we was talking about what people watch, and loads of people who've been loving it. Yeah, people did love it, Rob. The guy behind me who appeared in it. Of the first video. Of the first video. Yeah. He tapped me on the shoulder about 20 minutes later.

Yeah. And said, my good. Girlfriends just got in touch with me. People have seen me on your video. Was he happy about that? He wasn't, he wasn't sad about it. He was pleased about it. I'd say he was, you know, he's quite happy about it.

It's quite a pleasant thing to do, actually, Rob. I think it means you can't look at your phone. Yeah, that's good. It gives you a little break. You're just, you're live streaming. I hope it's counting a screen time because that's unfair if it counts a screen timing. You should, I think I mentioned Jim Skin before. You mentioned him to me in, in,

passing and it sounds like he's kind of self-trumaning show himself. Yeah, he's just sort of, he's playing a slight character but he's quite a nice guy and quite positive. He just films himself the whole time. With his brother, yeah, and he talks into Costa and gets a coffee, two cups, bit of ice, don't burn the bean. And then he

sort of recharges his aura and then drops the shoulder to dance every now and again. Do you what? And is this going on all the time? Yeah, he's smashing it. It's one of the most popular streamers on kick-go. Yeah, no, fine, but how many hours of days he doing? He got pressed at an MMA event. Yeah, a lot of hours.

I don't know what that means. Yeah, someone started on him. Right. But young people say pressed. Someone... I listened to Ramesh interviewing Louis Theroux. Yes. Because I'm a big fan of both of them.

Yeah, great guys. Great guys. I prefer one to the other, but let's not focus on that, right? I'm sure you do. Depends really because one, you know, brings you more money. Yeah. But you prefer on a personal level. personal level great guys couldn't really criticize either of them,

but I'd say I'm closer to Rommish. Yeah, fair, fair. I'd say I like both them a lot. I know Rommish better. And consequently, I prefer Louis. I say both are really hard to read. Doesn't affect me. I'll just talk at them.

You know, what else have been going on? Anything else? Any other kids stuff? So, Beryl's been bringing in mice. Oh, God. I didn't think that bit. I think that's old for that, actually. So this is the interesting thing, Rob.

Yeah. she's never brought in mice ever. Okay. So we thought, well, there's been building work going on and stuff. So maybe she's, you know,

maybe some mice, there might be mice around. You know what I mean? Quite easily. Why would there be mice around if there's building one? Because they're disturbing them in the walls. Because there's like outside, there's holes and stuff.

Right. Yeah, yeah. So we were like, oh, maybe they're just coming in and then the other cats are getting them because Beryl's just never been bloodthirsty.

And then. They normally play. play with them. They're not like eating the organs. They are. They're half a corpse of a mouse. No, well, my cat's never eaten them. They just catch them and play with them. They kill them eventually from like, through battering them. But they're not eating it. But do you think she's like going, right, I've got these youngsters coming through.

I've got to try and look cool and trendy? Yeah, I think so, because then she brought in a fucking Robin. A robin? That's hard. That's an hard catch. Oh, not a Robin. I know. And you're like, well, she is catching the mice then. Or is it just because you had no wildlife in your little, all sort of astro turf patch in London. It's quite possibly that, no, apart from urban foxes,

we had absolutely no longer. She's not going to catch one of them. No, exactly. But you're just in, but you're in the country now, more wildlife. Bigger garden, more space? Yeah. It's exciting for Beryl.

She's really stretching her paws. And how old is Beryl? Because she's not old. She just got bad kidneys, did she? 10. She could go for another 10 years. She could go for another 10 years. Fingers crossed, eh?

Fingers crossed. How are the kittens getting on? They're good. Are they outside yet? No, because they've got to be vaccinated and then... Oh, are they girls or boys? Girls. So they've got to be spayed.

Oh, that's a bit of a tricky one, that, isn't it? It's not just a little bollock off. It's like internal. Internal, internal, not tied. Poor things. Poor little bastards. Poor little pussies. So that's going on.

And then it's kind of been all right parenting. How's the weather? You've got your legs out? Is it warm at home? I went running, Rob. I've got a running watch now. You went running and then you went straight from running to the chair. I had another meeting actually first.

So you've not, you've been running and you've not showered and you're wearing the cars. I'm going to shower after this. Got a shower after this. So you're just sitting in your own sweat. Do you have you changed your top? No, because I thought it would provide a talking point. Oh, John. So, right, I don't want to keep getting dog.

Was your top wet when you come back from running? Yeah, of course. But I'm only doing this and then I'm going to go for a shower. You're on the chair. You're on a soft cushion chair. The back of my top wasn't wet. So you didn't have a sweaty back, just pits in the front? No, just this little triangle.

You know, the classic triangle. You know, the classic front triangle. I haven't got a sweaty ass and back like you. Oh, no, maybe you're not pushing yourself hard enough on this run you do. I just did 466 cows, thank you very much, according to my watch. Oh, calories. All right. On Strava.

No, I'm not going to go on Strava because I hate people on Strava. Because it's for myself this. Yeah, you don't. like to tell people apart from bring it up on you and be on the front kind of cover of run as well you really keep your running to yourself don't you it's it's a private meditative thing no one could go online and find anything about you and running it's your little secret i don't like to go on about it i don't like to i i hate that you've dragged this out of me yes sorry to sort of peel back the layers and finally get to get to the core of you i'm a reluctant kind of secret runner when

it comes to it. Are you going to do the cover and run as world? No, no. How's couched a cram going? Well, cram's at to take it. Cramble's going great. I got up to my week eight, which was 28 minutes running nonstop, but I've been out here and there's nowhere to run outside. If they're not a treadmill? There is a treadmill. So, but it's, I can't express you how hosset is here.

It's like humid and a thousand degrees. And I'm weird, I have done, I've run for half an hour and 40 minutes on the treadmill. last week, but I'm really struggling. It's like killing me, but I don't know if it's the heat or what, because it's air conned in there, but I'm just so hot all day. I'm just getting rashes all day. I basically get prickly heat all day because we're out in the sun. And you're like, I'm so sweaty and it's disgusted.

And there's like the makeup team, I have to run over and like mop me down. It's just, it's so awful. And then I have to try and stand in front of like a fan and like wipe my body with tissue. What do you mean by a fan? Some were just a parent and hell fan. I brought her out. She sits there, asks me questions about her. She's paid for the tissues, doesn't she?

She's paid for the tissues. No, just a normal fan. I don't know. That's funny, though. I've been called, basically, it's really weird. So the hotel I'm in is a bit like, it's a really nice hotel, but it's a bit like a hotel you'd have like a sort of like couples holiday. And it's really, I'm like the only bloke on his own there working.

You wouldn't go to work normally unless you're doing like a TV show thing. And I'm going to have a breakfast. And they call you by your first name as your surname. name is a Chinese thing. So, Mr. Rob. Yeah, Mr. Rob or Mr. Josh. But then the, uh, they, they, they've started calling me Mr. Gavinda. What?

Sorry. Sorry. I've, I've, I've just gone, because I've said my room number. And they go, Mr. Gavinda. I've gone, yeah. I'm just quite, I'm quite enjoying it called Mr. Gavinda. And I think I've worked it out where basically, it's my room, obviously, but the production, I think someone has, I think someone,

the production company is called Govinda something. I do actually know their name. I've met them, but I don't want to say the surname on you if they don't want to be mentioned, but just their first name. And the, so I think where they book the room, it's on the booking. So I'm wondering around, and I said to this Malaysian... Is there not like 20 rooms under the name, Gavinda?

That guy must every morning be saying Mr. Gavinda to every single member of crew, right? Mr. Gavinda? No, no. So, like, I'm in a different hotel to the crew. Oh, they kept me separate. Yeah. And I tell you, what, I'm drinking quite a lot, though. Because I sort of stopped drinking on something, one or two.

I finished work at like five, six. I've got nothing to do, nowhere to go. So he's on your own in a hotel? Well, I drunk, yeah, but then I've been meeting up with other people going for a drink now because I thought I can't keep drinking alone. The crew? No, because I'm just, yeah, the crew. And I've been sat in a hotel and my own at six.

Just thought, I'll have it. But it's red-hot and an ice-cold tiger beer. Do you want one of them? Yeah. I do. And then like, the geez, Mr.

Gavinda, another one? I'm like, yes, please. So I'm just smashing them back. And also as well, I'm like,

well, Rob's not drinking a lot. Mr. Gavinder is. Do you know what? Is this, Mr. Gavinder is this,

Mr. Gavinda is. But then I said, why are they calling me, because I know, I was like, well, Gavinda's got a surname. So like,

on the booking, I'm, I just shoot, I'd say, Mr. Beckett or Mr. whether. And then I said to the Malaysian crew, and I said, why are they calling me Mr. Gavindra or Mr. Rob, if they get it right? And they went, well, it's a Chinese thing where in China your surname's first and then it's your name. So in China you'll be Whittaker, so they'd call you, Mr. Whittaker.

And I went, yeah, I went, yeah, but like, surely they're not, they're not thinking I'm a Chinese white man called Mr. Gavinda. Surely they must know that I'm not rolling with the Chinese surname, first name thing. I mean, you're barely a white man, looking at this picture. I don't think I'm that brown. Anyway, so, yeah, I'm Mr. Gavinda, and I go in and I'll have the same omelet every morning. And then go to work and stuff. That's nice. It's good.

It's really nice job, actually. Everyone's really lovely. It's absolutely perfect. It's just being away from the kids is difficult. Yeah, so how are you staying in touch? FaceTime on the school run, because FaceTime. What time is up for you? around 3.45pm, which is quite good because most of the work's been, like,

we're doing early shoots and stuff's getting done and by about four-ish, we're winding down because you start losing life. So I've been chatting to the kids in the car on, like, thinking, and I've been doing a thing called an animal a day where, because it's difficult, because when you're away, you FaceTime, but like, I FaceTime at weekends. That's when they have their iPads. And it's like, they're just done like Minecraft or Roblox, and I'm in the corner, like, going, oh, what you up to?

And they're like, totally obsessed with the iPad. And I don't want to be like, how was school and all that shit? So I've been finding animals. I mean, sending videos of animals every day because we're in the jungle. There's loads of mad animals. That's been quite good because they've got monkeys here and that. When are you doing celebs go dating? About this time.

So then this is, I'm recording this, which is 10, 11 a.m. for you, which is 7 p.m. here. So. Oh, so you offer a few tigers after this. Well, no, actually, this is how much the drinking's got. I said, oh, I can't wait for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, because I've got pairing it in the old, so I won't be drinking, will I? Because I've been hitting it like an 18 to 30s.

Honestly, I had four tigers the other night, and then we ordered a- Fucking sweating, Rob. I'm hung over in the jungle. I've not been hung over because I've been having like four beers. I go a bed at 10, and I sleep, there's no one in the hat, and there's no one in there. I'm on my own, so it's just like, no one waking me up,

air-conditioned room. I'm having like eight, nine-hour sleep. It's mental. Fucking out. And then I wake up in the morning and go and have breakfast he's done for me. Just have to have a shower and have breakfast. And then I'm getting picked up and driven everywhere.

It's ridiculous. It's so, Lou is just absolutely suffering, hardcore. And Mr. Gavinda's out of here having the time of his life. The other night, I've had a shot the other night.

I've not had a shot in about 10 years. Oh, wow. Well, you had your book week, Lou. Now it's payback time. Now it's part in the fucking jungle. Guess what I had a shot of? Tequila. No.

name of it's wet pussy oh oh no that's a shame it's one of those places where they've got like drinks that are offensive names that you know in Asian countries think of funny for western people and they are having a grot who doesn't want to order three wet pussies well exactly so I had a wet pussy and then there was another one they called what is a wet pussy no to dare I ask what's in a wet from a run and don't have a shower Wet pussy is like peach naps and some vodka stuff. It's like a little show. It wasn't that strong.

And then there was like, but it's like, it was like, wet pussy and there was like other things. And the one was like, one was trying to drinks was called a red-headed slut. Oh, my. It's just mental name. And it like, baby Guinness. Red-headed slut. So, yeah, I've been doing that. And it's, um, it's such a small island.

Just sort of like, you know, and then we've got to fly back to the other island, Malaysia. Oh, yeah. Not the mainland. Not the mainland. um but yeah don't it's been fun and she's really nice um when i'm back i'm back um well i'm i'm back now when this goes out i'm back but i land a day after mother's day so which is a killer i couldn't get back for mother's day so i think lou's gonna see her mum and i've got to send

some uh uh flowers it's difficult one mother's day isn't it because obviously you got your own mother you shouldn't tell you what you shouldn't tell you what you should do rob if you think those flowers mean a lot is go and pick them up from the shop because you know that's Exactly. I am in a sticky situation where I'm going to have to, well, I'm going to have to get loose and flowers. But it's that weird. When his mother's day, because you have to got, you've got your own actual mum, then you've got your kids' mum. And I'm like, well, actually, it ain't my mum. You're the mum of my kids, but you ain't my mum. If Lou was your mum, then there'd be bigger questions of trust. Who's doing the most parent. I've sconded. I also saw it the other day, Josh, in this room, I had to go topless to do my voiceover. Yeah, right. I sat there in my pants doing voiceover.

Getting your excuses before the discipline are right. Look, is he trying to Malaysia to do his so let's go dating voice over topless. But, so yeah, I've got... I don't know if your mum's this direct. Can you have the camera on? Do you need the camera off? I turn the camera off. I went, look, I'm turned the camera off because I'm going topless. Because my mum messaged me about three weeks ago,

I was like, oh, yeah, don't worry too much about Mother's Day. I just want some cash for some clothes, really, or some vouchers from Arkansas and Spencer. I don't know if your mum sends in a request for cash two weeks before Mother's Day. not into Mother's Day, which is a relief. So you don't have to do anything? I'd do a text. And I... Yeah, but you've still got a sense of flowers, or she'd be angry.

No, she doesn't give a fuck, Rob. She wouldn't want the flowers. She's got a huge garden full of flowers. She wouldn't want a bunch of flowers. She wouldn't want flowers. Okay. So you just text a happy mother's day. No card.

Happy Mother's Day. Yeah, no, my family were never big birthday, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day. Father's Day did that exist in those days? Yeah, but I don't think my mum's that into it, but I think she's quite into the opportunity for a transfer of cash.

She knows what she's doing, your mum. I really love the sentiment of Mother's Day and just people appreciating all the hard work mum's being... She just wanted by her backs, or does she want it? Does she want it? Yeah. Well, I've gone for a fucking voucher in Langkowie. What about Rose? What are you doing for her Mother's Day?

Well, we're going to London, Rob. Oh, London. The big slug to the London. Okay, up to the London. So with the kids or just you. I've got last leg on Friday. Right, you'll be there. Yeah, the, uh, the edgy clips form, the last leg.

Oh, yeah, the content boys. The content boys. The viral girls. The viral hounds. The last leg. Yeah. Yeah. Get on a politician.

Rinse them. Bang. Clicks. It was great. It was a funny joke, though. If you know, no one's seen it. It's on Instagram, I'm on everywhere. She supports a disabled movement by being an arms fair in Saudi Arabia.

So funny. You can't go on last leg when there's like World War III kicking off. And last week you were posted about arms fairs, can you? I know. Wild. Wild. At Desjardin Insurance, we know that when you're a building contractor, your company's foundation needs to be strong.

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I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988, Canada's suicide crisis, Helpline. It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 9-88 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada. And then the week before, we were talking about legalizing drugs with the Green Pie. That went, it's, do you know what? It turns out, Rob. Yeah. These comedians, people want to hear from politicians, who knew? Well, they want to see politicians be mugged off, don't they?

Or was he getting mugged off, the Green Giza? I made a little fun joke. No, so you're doing last leg, and then Rose and the kids are coming up? It's my daughter's friend from London. It's her birthday. Yeah. And she, so we said we'd go to it. Nice.

And it does mean, though, that we're going to a swimming pool in London on Mother's Day. Yeah, I mean, because, yeah, it's just a kid's party. It's quite a weird call, isn't it? It's quite a weird call. My daughter's going to love it. We're going to see some of our friends. Yeah, it's fun. You're already up there.

This is a train journey? And you're coming back Sunday? Yeah, I'm also tying it in a lovely trip to Aylesbury on Saturday night. So are they coming up Saturday? They're coming up Friday. They're coming up Friday with you? No. So I'm coming up first thing Friday.

I'm coming up Thursday. You're coming up Thursday. They're coming up Friday, staying in London for a few nights, and you're going to nip to Aylesbury one night, come back, Swoon, back home. A new week starts. Oh, Rob. It's hard for you.

You need to find a day where you can chill. How's Monday? Leg of the tour. Yeah. I think leg one of the tour, when it's like, it's just so, the momentum is like, this is the tour, this is the tour, this is all. Then you do two months off. And then the gigs are good, but I'm really struggling with the travel this time.

The travel's the worst bit. Like getting, like, that's why. I didn't mind the travel the first time because I hadn't toured in three, four years. It's a bit of novelty. Yeah, it's like, oh yeah, I'll stay in a hotel and I'll go out in Chester and have a look round and fun. But like, now you're like,

maybe I just want to be at home at the weekend. I love, I felt the same. I love the gig. On stage at the gig's brilliant. It's just a little, you know. You just want to spend the weekend with your kids. Yeah, that's, that is the issue. But then people don't want to go and see comedy

on a Monday and Tuesday or do they? Do you know what? When you buy a ticket to see a comedian on a Saturday night, it should just have a think about it. It's poor little kids. It's poor little kids in a lovely house and the ticket's paid for. What's going to say?

I was going to ask you, sorry, I can't remember what I was going to say. I'm just a bit fucked by the weekend, to be honest. I'm in a bad mood because of the Isle of Man. That Isle of Man is it? Look, that's why I didn't do the Isle of Man on this tour. I just couldn't make it work with the flights. Yeah. It's too much.

It's the flight. I loved that gig and I'd like to do it again, but I can't be spending nearly 36 hours. When you can do a gig in Alisbury, like back and forth in about four hours. Yeah. So that's one for you, Loganair. Loganair, any chance you could put on a Josh Whitcomb special. The ball is in your court, Loganair.

What time is the last plane out of Valaman? You could go back that night. I don't know. I think they just go in the middle of the day or something. You can't even go in early to then. Because what you could do is you could go in and do like a three o'clock matinee flying that day. You can't get it. But they're written.

And you know what? They were like, oh, do you want to cover for Romash from Radio 2? I was like, yeah, great. Right. Perfect. Because my flight is at 240. Yeah. So I'll do, I've got this dead time between the last leg of my flight.

It's not dead time. It's time to sleep, relax. and, you know, get a hand on your stress. I'm in a fucking, I opened my curtains, right, in this hotel in Heathrow. Yeah. I was like, oh, I got here at night, so I don't know what the view is. I imagine it's, you know, I imagine it's going to be shit. Or the runway, maybe.

Yeah. Dream scenario, I can see some planes. Worst case scenario, it's at least a road. Do you know what it was? What? I was literally opened it. I was about three yards from the breakfast room. I was just looking inside.

I was inside. There was a man having breakfast about six or seven yards from me. Not on the same level. Same level. What am I going to do in my life? I was just like, this is madness. Why can you do the radio?

because the flight was too early it was like 20 it was like just too tight so you're like how is this flight at the wrong time for everything like this is the worst flight ever oh god

anyway see in three years when I've forgotten and then they and then they just it goes on an email with a hundred other shows yeah

always a good giggle are the other man. Then you remember right and try that. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Right. That's why I'm in a bad mood.

Yeah, that way has killed your weekend in it. Should we do? To be honest, I should have known there wasn't a netball fixture and I should have just gone and bought the fucking balloons

from town, but there we go. Oh, now you feel bad because you haven't got the balloons. What are you doing rest of the day? I'm going to get, my daughter's done a picture for Rose that I'm going to get framed. Oh, that's nice.

Have I left it to the last minute? I'll leave you to decide. I mean, in your defence, like, and defence of the balloons, you've been seeing the other man all weekend. You don't have much chance. I know. Well, I wasn't, yeah.

And then I'm taking my kids into town after this, and we're going to buy some things. Are they not at school? When they finish school, we're going to go into town. Is she away then at the moment? Rosie's back at seven. Imagine being in a he-free. airport having a ball deck and looking for an open window and going is that Josh Whitaker on his bed watching

tell him? Yeah. Trying to play bamboozle with the remote control he stole from the Isle of Man. Fucking out. Tell you what, full credit to Sky, I didn't realize how much they've improved their operating system until I went to that hotel. So is it still on the old one? How does that still exist?

Why does that? You had to click down and then it would like, it wouldn't go down. You know, on the new one, you don't even realize it does this. scans down. It was like page by page, like teletext. So is it the same TV guide home screen? Or is that blue one with just the boxes? It was the blue one with the boxes, like the old one.

Oh my gosh. So it's like like lines, rows of numbers. Hi Rob, Joshua, Mysterious Michael. So why's match the day not on when there's an FAA Cup weekend? I was so excited to get back to my room for that. I was just like, oh, fuck my fucking life. I thought the BBC had the FAA Cup, don't they? I don't know if they don't.

I think it's all on T&T and T. now, isn't it? Oh, fuck you. D.M.T. Discovery app, HBO. Oh, God. Anything else you want to get off your chest before I do this? I'm just a bit sad today.

Oh, Josh. You can have a fun day with the kids. I'm not going to get that money back on the balloons. No. Am I? Would you get round to it? Well, at the moment, you're not washing, so I'd prioritise that.

I'm going for a shower after this. Okay, well, let's do this. Hi, Rob, Josh Michael. I've been a listener since my first daughter arrived in 2021, and I'm deeply grateful for the last. Last year, I was made redundant while on maternity leave with my second. So that was my chance to launch the business. I've been dreaming about since becoming a month. Early days hampers, spelled D-A-Z-E.

We sell gift hampers for new parents that are actually useful. Think water bottles, soothing teas, dry shampoo, and nightlights for those 3M nappy changes. All the postpartum essentials, everyone forgets. And we've just launched double days. our first couples hamper so both partners get a bit of TLC during that newborn fog we deliver anywhere in the UK so if you want to help someone you love survive the newborn Hayes head to early dayshampers code at UK that's D-A-ZE or follow us at early days hampers as a thank you to the parenting health family listeners can use code hell 10 in capital's H-E-L-L-10 for 10% off their first hamper and delivery is included

huge thanks in advance. Sabrina from West Berkshire, not Kent, Barkshire, not Berkshire, sorry, West Berkshire. I've got, I, I tidied up my office,

Rob. Yeah. And I found three separate ones that they've given me, that people have given me on tour. So I'm going to, I've got a bit of a bank of them, so I do apologize to people

who've sent them in via email. We'll do them over the next couple of weeks. Leaving them on your little table next to your dirty team back. I've left them on my little table. So number one, this is from Emily. I list apparently how every week's thanks so much for the laughs and honesty. Since being a parent, I've never been more overstimulated or tired,

but it's great having tiny people. I wondered if I might be able to ask for a cheeky small business shoutout. I'm an illustrator and maker based in Harrogott's lovely, North Yorkshire. I didn't do Harrogate. I make dog collars and leads as well as having a range of dog tug toys. I do agility and flyball training with my dogs. Whippets are great flyball dogs if Rob ever fancies giving it a go. Ever done it?

Yes, I've done flyball for when I did Rob Rommers versus Cruffs. It was actually very good at it, old Frederick. There we go. Best wishes, Emily. P.S. Totally forgot to say I sometimes offer personalised pet portraits and blankets too. Listeners can use parenting hell for 20% off accessories. At Emily Ong, Ong, illustration.

at Emily Ong illustration. I'm best known for my personalised pet blankets and family portraits but I also take on commissions and commercial

work too. Follow me on Instagram, emilyong.com. uk. Lovely. Right. That was a joy.

I'm sorry. I didn't enjoy it. Don't be yourself up about the weekend. I mean, such a bad mood. You're busy. You're working so hard. Just try and forget

about what's happened now and just focus on a fun day with the kids when they finish school. You're going to get that photo framed, buy some stuff Rose and you've got a lovely birthday tomorrow for Rose and then a nice weekend. All you've got is Alisbury. Alisbury's an easy gig.

It's really close to London. The kids are going to love being in the hotel. So you're going to love it. They're going to be there. You can mess about it. And then Sunday will be fun. It's going to be great. And seeing your friends and then you just get the train home together.

It's an adventure for the kids. It's going to be a great weekend. All weekend you'll be with them. They'll be in bed when you're in Alisbury. Right. Just don't want to be away, Rob. And I'm sorry because I know you're away far more than me. Yeah, that's fine though.

It's like, I hate going away. I'm better once it's happened, but it's fine. Look, I can't moan. Mr. Covinda's going to head out now for an ice cold beer and on the hunt for a couple of wet pussies. Enjoy your wet pussies, Rob. See you next week. Oh, parenting hell listeners, recognize that voice?

Yes, it's Josh Riddickham here. I have got a new podcast, Josh Whitakam's Museum of Pop Culture, and I'm going to say it. I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening

now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics. I know I do and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realised Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr Blobby, when Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers ghosts were real, when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh, The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from You Two,

and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are, by the way. Either you know what these things are and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realized you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff next will learn, lose next will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday.

Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcast now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitakum, available everywhere from the 1st of January.