Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S12 EP32: Hal Cruttenden

Episode Date: April 24, 2026

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) it's the brilliant comedian, actor and presenter - Hal Cruttenden HAL CRUTTENDEN: CAN DISH IT OUT BUT CAN’T TAKE IT Tickets and dates available at: halcruttenden.com  Parenting Hell is available to watch on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  (Copyright 2026) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Can you say Rob Beckett? Bob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whittaker? Josh Whittickham. Oh, done. Oh, thank you. And Posey. How old are you?

I'm nearly five, but that's the school on five. But how old are you today? Sure, but tomorrow I'll be five. Tomorrow you'll be five. Ah. Do you know what? They flipped it on its head. They completely made that their own.

I like it. I like it. I think if you're going to do a cover. I can't ever abide cover versions that are similar to them. No, exactly. What is the point? Speed it up or slow it down. Or fuck off.

Put some horns on it. Put some horns on it. This is posing. Slave bells, not even a Christmas one. I like that as well because the kids sounded young and cute, but also a bit like a 19-year-old that's been in Ibiza for three days. Do you know what I'd like to ask people? I want you to do it with your 16-year-old or 15-year-old children

and see how they sound when you make them do this. Oh, brilliant. Let's do it with tea. Yeah, let's do some grown-up kids. Yeah. Not proper grown-ups because they'll be fine with it. It's that era between 13 and 17. Rob Beckett.

And you can't talk to them about it beforehand. You've just got to go and ask them to them. Say Joshua and come to say Rob Beckett and see what they say. And then if they don't say our names, you just have to say. just send it in. Yeah. Well, don't want to do that, Mom? Yeah.

Yeah, that's brilliant. Those fucking wankers. Yeah. You wouldn't say that to her. No. This is Posey, who is four today, but tomorrow she will be five. I have a podcast on in the car.

As soon as it comes out every Tuesday and Friday, Posey listens to me while. She comes along with the ride with all the many drop-offs with her three siblings. Raffy, eight, Jimmy, 13, Florence, 16. Oh. Sorry, is this a cast for Peaky Blinders? He never makes a fuss. While we deliver and pick up from ballet, rugby,

drama, football, and etc. She laughs along with me to the pod and always says, let's do the intro before being the one asking me to the names instead of the other way around. Hope you like, hello Posey, hope you like Posey's intro, as much as we love the pod.

I loved it. By the time you hear it, she'll be five after her much anticipated birthday. Josh, we are, we've got Howl Cruttenden coming in, who's running late. So we're doing a little intro now. We're doing this at Spotify HQ,

we've just both had bad banter with people on the way in. How are you feeling about that? I feel like, are we the problem? Well, run through your bad banter and I'll run through mine. Bad banter is you come into Spotify and you're sort of checking at the reception and they say someone will take it down, but they go grab a coffee if you want beforehand. And it's like a pretty cool dude coffee guy and coffee station.

It's a free coffee shop for people who work at Spotify. Because I got there and I'm like, oh, it looks like a coffee shop. It looks like a coffee shop. And there's like croissants out and patient drinks. Welcome to bloody Silicon Valley, Rob. Oh my God. Come on, mate. So I'm queuing and I'm like, oh, no one's paying it.

And I said to the guy, oh, is this, is this all free? And he went, yeah. I went, every day, it went, no. I went, oh. And then another guy went just Wednesdays. A different guy. Both who worked there. No, he was like, worked at Spotify, but he weren't the coffee guy.

Right. And the coffee guy was like, no, not Wednesday. Just randomly whenever. And I was like, it seems like a mad policy. And I went, all right. And then, well, so what do you do? Do you work? You know, it's not Wednesday as well.

I know, is it? It's Tuesday. Yeah. So, like, I think there's banter going on that I'm not aware of. I feel like I should know banter. Yeah. That's my half my job. Exactly, Rob.

So I'm like, okay. And then I said, so where did you work then? Are you like freelance coffee dude? Like, are you doing other coffee places than just coming here whenever? So at this point you were taking it at face value? I'm just trying to be a good honest guy. I'm new here. I'm a newbie.

Exactly. And I went, oh, so. And then he went, no, no, I'm always here. This is where I work. I went, what even when days there's no coffee? And he went, yeah. I went, all right. And I've walked off.

I don't know what happened there. And then when I spoke to the lady that brought me down, I said, is that coffee free? She went, yeah. I went, every day. She went, yeah. I went, he said just Wednesdays. And she went, it's Tuesday. I went, yeah, I know, I think he's lying to me. He is.

So I don't know if it was banter or lies or lie banter. You're not ready for banter 2.0 that you get into Silicon Valley. You know what? I just went in too pure. Exactly. You're used to old school TV places, you know, where the people that work in the refreshments area, you know. You don't get free coffee. You don't get free coffee.

And they will speak to you like a different. dinner lady used to speak to you. When I first started work, I used to work at a flower market with my first job of the day was to walk down the road to get a cup of tea and this massive gammon with loads of English mustard. What is that pub called? The Royal Oak. The Birdcage? Oh, the bird cage.

Well, you know who owned that. What's that? Andy Oliver was the owner. Mickey Flanagan used to drink in there as well, I think. Oh, there go. Anyway, I'm in there for a gammon roll when I'm 14 at 7am. And then I'd have to bring that back to my boss. How times have changed?

I'm not having bad banter at free coffee stations. What world? I just had some bad banter. What's your bad ban? I also had, I also trolled the podcast next door, Rob. Oh, right. Who's next door? Campbell and Stewart.

Oh, the rest is politics guys. Those guys that couldn't sell out the O2, you remember them? Did they not sell it out? Did they curtain the roof off? I couldn't possibly comment. Did he curtain the top off? It couldn't possibly comment. I don't look.

It's amazing achievement to even sell half the O2. However, if you're going to brag, you've sold it out, pan up and show me the top level. Exactly. We see that a lot, don't we, Josh? We do see that a lot. If anyone sits there sold up the O2, watch out if they pan up to the top curtain off level, because it don't count.

No. Beyond the boxes. I thought I'll go and say hi to Campbell and Stuart. Yeah. You're a better man than me. They're recording. Yeah. I look through the glass door.

Yeah. Perfect image. Stuart's got his back to me. I don't really know Stuart, so that's ideal. No, great. He's talking. Yeah. Campbell's looking at him.

Nodding. Nodding. But I'm absolutely in his eye. You're locked on into his eyes. Give him the old wave Yeah Give him the old thumbs up Yeah

He looks at me with absolute venom Why? Because he's trying to concentrate On Rory Stewart Oh, as if you can't Concentrate and have a bit of laugh as well Well, to be fair I don't know what Rory Stewart's talking about

He might be talking about something awful Oh something bad He's probably talking about You know, he might be talking about Geoffrey Epstein or something Next question Go on What are we going to ask how Carl Crichton? Did you speak to our Alistair Campbell

We just annoyed him No, I just waved it in through the window And gave him the thumbs up And they looked at me with despair. Well, Howcruttend is an interesting one. He got divorced three years ago. His children have grown up and he's incredibly open about his divorce and dating scene. So I think it would be really good because not everyone's has opened.

And we might learn a thing or two from the 10 years time. Yeah. Exactly. We're future-proofing. So I think it'll be nice to talk. Because there's loads of people that listen. There might be single parents or grown up. Sorry, they've got grown-up kids.

And now they're back on the dating scene. And I think that is dating when you are a parent is totally different because it does. Whether you like it or not impact. I might be wrong. I'm going to say this to Hal. I just wonder whether I couldn't be bothered anymore. If Rose leaves me, and it's still an if, rather than a when at this stage.

Yeah, I'd say. Just about. I'd say you work so much, even she hated you, you're not there enough to really wind her up. Do you what I mean? I don't think you're at home enough to push her over the edge. So I think you could just grind it out. She might have left me and I've not noticed.

Unless she leaves on the 7.5. 52 from Exeter to London. You wouldn't notice. No, exactly, yeah. Oh, you're right. I'm leaving you. Oh, hello. Should we bring on Hal Cruttenden?

Yeah, come on now. Hal Cruttenden, welcome to Parenting Out. We've wanted you for ages. I can't believe it's been this song and we've just got you. Well, I don't know. I mean, that's lovely of you'd say, but I am always desperate to go on podcasts. I'm quite a lonely man. I'm just.

I'm just, keep you around at cards close to your chest. This is my, I'm a loadly figure, and I love having a chat. Oh, really. So you will find this. Have you got a podcast? I do, oh, well, I hope we're doing a second series because we've stashed it and it's going pretty well. Me and Ronnie Ancona, do you know, Ronnie?

Yeah, yeah. And Ronnie and I do a thing about being, oh, yes, we'll line you up for the second series because you are brilliant for this because it's about us being very neurotic people. What are you? Or do you mean about that? No, you're perfect in terms of the fact

we want karma people. We want people that are able to take care. No, no, no, no, you were right first time. He's absolutely off the scale. Josh is quite quietly neurotic, I think. But I think you're... He goes under the radar. Yeah, but I think you're genuinely not that.

Because you will, even... I always remember starting, you know, when you came along in comedy, and you were always really ballsy. And there was a time I used to message you before corporates going, Rob, how do I get through this? And you're, you know, you're 12, 15 years younger than me. And I'm going, Rob's taught me through this. So Ronnie and I kind of get guests on

and kind of try and find out how they cope with all the nightmare stress of showbiz when wear such basket cases about it. Right. It's a little bit indulgent, but people like it. All podcasts are. Yeah, exactly. Tell us, so if you can't deal with show bits, how do you do with parents? How old are your kids?

My kids are old now. My kids are 25 and 23. But very luckily, both did fine art as degrees, so they're still at home. You need to encourage the arts in your children, and then they don't go. And I'm kind of loving it as well. I was listening to your John Bishop. Yeah. And I love it.

But he was saying about one. the kids to go and I was going yeah but when you're divorced it's lovely to have them it's lovely to have the company so you still having joint custody of adult children I also did the other thing of very wisely moving further into town so I have the kids much more because I'm handier they basically live with me because it's handy for what the jobs they have the things they're doing so I do have them a lot more of the time and my houses we had a house in well I don't think it is we had a house in Ireland and my ex held on to that because she's Irish.

So her place is a bit smaller. So I've got a larger place further into town. I'm not saying I did well in the divorce deal. I was still ripped apart. That's the most. My house is great because there's space in it and I'm often not there because I'm a comic. So my kids love being.

So you've got, was it three years? You've been quite open to you had a show about it as well. Well, we separated four and a half years ago. We divorced about three years ago. Basically, my tour show is sort of my second show about my divorce. It's a little bit more detailed. It's got some more juicy gossip in it. Now the dust has settled

a bit. Yeah, and things I've been allowed to say and times passed. And I think the first one I did was a bit like, I'm a rubbish man and I just got left. Whereas this one's like, let me give you some details. You have to come to the show. Yeah. No, it's fine. And do you still get on with your ex? We're fine. We're fine.

It wasn't the happiest, loveliest, divorce. As so many aren't. No, there's so many others. But I think you don't want a happy, lovely divorce. Because usually a happy, lovely divorce, I have this point in my show, is if you've been left, I was left by my wife, and I found out, through time, it's been discovered,

that I was left for someone. That's much better than being left for no one. Because if you're left for no one, it means you're literally worse than nothing. So anybody who's going, it's great, we just broke up and she just said the love was over, no, that you've been absolutely slammed. So I'm kind of, you know,

I kind of feel a bit better about that. That's a great way to look at it. Yeah. Always want to be left by someone. And it's always, I mean, I'm sure it'll happen to you guys, but it's when the kids, it's where it hopefully wait till the kids are older because then it's, so much. They would have been like 21. They were 21 and 19. Right. And how was it for them? Because it's just a bit of a madness.

Yes. And it's still, it is still really hard. And I think my youngest had just gone to uni. And so it was, it was sort of, I would say it hurts at any age, is it? And I'm always amazed by them. And I'm not saying this is just suck up to them because I'm desperate for company in my house. But it is so, they are so lovely. The way I go, God, I, you know, my parents were always my parents. I mean, my dad died and I was 20, so I like never had that breakup thing,

but I had that sudden thing of it changing. But to watch them deal with just, you know, the dating that, I mean, my ex is now with the man she left before and they're very established. but my dating life's been chaotic. Right. So are you talking to your kids about dating? They love it. Well, they don't love it.

They feel sorry for the women. They literally, they have said that. They've said, oh God, I hope it. Please don't leave this one. Or please don't break this one up. So I did, it's just, it's been, I've talked about. How are you dating how? Because I just said this to Rob beforehand.

I think when Rose inevitably leaves me. Yeah. That's so good that you just do that. Keep that in your head. And it will be for someone. A mad comic called Lewis Schaefer. Yeah. Make sure it's for someone.

Probably a farmer, if you're right down in the South West. She just wanted someone stronger than her. Are you bad at opening jars and stuff? No, she's stronger than Josh. We've discussed it. But the problem is, right? I think, so I don't think I'm speaking out of turn here because I'm not naming the person. I've got a friend.

He's, I think his daughter's maybe 10. he's split up with the mum and he said to me I just can't be bothered to spend the time I have to myself meeting strangers and trying to he was like I'd rather just enjoy my life

I've got my daughter I've got my work that I like I can't be bothered I wasn't having to care you know I had two at university yeah they're not constantly they're not needing that all that attention

all the time and they've got, I mean, they're in far more stable relationships than me. They are, I mean, hugely more stable. I mean, you know, that's why they find it kind of amusing. My oldest is in a three and a half year relationship. My youngest, who's 23, been with the same guy since he was 16.

Right, wow. And they are virtually married and, you know, so I almost get relationship advice off them. So this, how, like, you're so, you're always, you're one of the best stand-up comedians live in the country. Every time I've seen your stage in clubs, you absolutely rip it. And I love, you're so honest.

open and honest of everything but like and you make you know you make a joke of it you make it very accessible to people but like that's incredible like you know you said your dad died when you were 20 so now i find when any sort of things happen in my life um or when my kids get to the age i was so you're looking at your kids at a 20 that age you well when your dad died now you're going for a divorce that is a lot to deal with emotionally and stuff like that like that must be such a difficult period but you you sort of you've dealt with it so well i mean i've got a horrible feeling my pet My parents, my children are better at this than me. They seem to, I mean, they're girls.

But then that's a credit to you as a parent. Yeah. They're strong like that. Well, yeah, I also, I do believe in luck. I think there's a lot. Do you not know those parents who are brilliant parents with horrible kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all come across them. And then crap parents, and I would, no, I'm not going to drag my ex down with me going,

we weren't, we got loads wrong. We got loads wrong. But everyone gets loads wrong. Yeah. But there's, and I think, yeah, I think the thing that I do. do think was amazing and it was amazing in my childhood and the biggest thing you have to do, which isn't really an effort, is just to have parents that love you so much and let you know how much you love them and how much you love them. And you're good at letting people know how much

you love them. I do let people and how much I dislike them as well. I'm very honest in all my emotions. No, but my daughters get a lot of how much I love them. And I'm amazed by them. They're always been your main priority. I remember when we gigged and before I had kids, you'd be like, oh, because I've got the girls, they've got school, they've got this and then we got that. Like it was almost like the main through line of your life and also being a provider for them and making sure they had the opportunities and going here there and stuff.

It was mentioned a lot in green rooms where that's not always a case, especially with, you know, when we started, a lot of the comedians above us and older comedians, wouldn't mention their kids or family. It was a solo pursuit. My agent said this to me that I talked a lot about my kids.

I think I've always been incredibly proud of them and so sort of subtly showing off all the time. I think when you're quite an inadequate person and you make people that are great, you kind of need to push the... You don't actually... You can't believe you're inadequate. I know you meant to shit a lot,

but you're so talented and so hard working and built a brilliant career. No, that's very nice for you, Rob. No, I suppose... Yeah, I suppose so. I suppose... I mean, I'm being... I'm being flippant about it.

I think of the thing... I talk about my kids quite a lot. My agent said this to me. I was still married and when they were small... You talk so much about your kids. And I... I don't... Because I'm incredibly self-obsessed as well.

Maybe it's something else to talk. Rather than talk about myself. Yeah, because your body's made it. So it's you. So maybe it's sort of a connection. It's all ego. It doesn't. I think the thing I'm fighting here, Rob,

the thing I'm fighting here is you're trying to make me a nice person. And I'm going, no, you don't understand it. It's because I see them and I see bits of myself in them. And I see, they're not quite as good looking as I am. But they're lovely. They've been ruined slightly by their mum. That's what people also do that thing of going, your kids are so beautiful.

They are. They're very beautiful girls. And I go, but I would be as well if I lost a bit of weight around the chitter stuff. So I'm, yeah, it's still. I create that beauty, so I must be beautiful. Exactly. I, here's a, here's some psychology. Some knowledge of psychology then. And if we're indulging in that about how Cruttenden.

Yeah. So you went to, I don't know what school you went to, but I, my osteopath, who was a very posh man. Oh, right. Said he went to school with you. And he was. Where was it, Harrow or something? That's St. Paul's. Right. And he was, like, extremely, like, proper, Tory kind of very...

His dad was a judge, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it made me think that have you gone in a different way with your parenting? To a very soft, what... Did you come from that? Do you come from quite a hard world or not? I didn't come from that sort of a... established money. I came, I had a nice, cosy middle class upbringing and ealing with two parents who were not from money. So we were always more insecure amongst the super posh. We wouldn't, you know, I felt my dad has... So they managed to pass that insecurity on. Yeah, they've passed on that insecurity. Yeah, we are that time. I mean, there was a fact, my sister going, but my sister going, but my sister, but so many middle class people do this. My sister does. My sister was doing it to be the other day and I, she's a lovely, wonderful person, but she was going, we are not that posh. We're quite, we're quite working class. I went, no, our grandparents may

been but we actually are part of our parents were of that wave of 50s 60s social mobility which people have forgotten exist now but it used to exist you know social mobility huge number of people became that sort of middle class when my dad went to a grammar school he got up in grimsby and his parents moved south and then he went to a grammar school got to first first place to go to university and that's so so we grew up with that grandparents going you don't know you're born do look what you've got and look what we it was i would did not have that sort of established right So I think we are the insecure, comfortable. Because you were amongst those sort of posho kids at that school.

We're the comfortably insecure. Yeah. So I've still got that thing. I go, oh, where's the great tour title? Yeah, is that? Oh, God, yes. I must, yes, I must remember. Oh, my daughter will listen to this because she listens to every podcast among my youngest.

So let's be careful which says. But I'll say, that'll be my next title. Next tour, yeah. And when it wins an award for being so brilliant. You were saying that just before you start recording, you're at mid-50, 54, and you don't care as much. You don't care as much anymore and stuff like that. So that comes to me and school sort of fits that narrative of, you know,

because you used to be, I'd say you're a lot more calmer now than you were back 10 years ago on the survey. You did tell me when he walked in that he was on ADHD. Am I right to say that? Oh, yeah, that's fine. Oh, you're on ADHD. Oh, you're on the ADHD. You're on the meds for it. I'm on the meds for it.

They're probably not strong enough. I don't think those meds exist. I don't know. But it's, um, no. it is it has been brilliant in some ways because it's so it when did you get diagnosed sorry only September

Ronnie Ancona said to me get diagnosed I've got a guy go and see this guy right and I went to see her guy and you're on medication for it now and I'm a medication for it and what's it done it cheers you up hugely it you do find you get more done I literally do make lists and tick things off

but I still can go off on one I can still be here going oh and sort of fighting to concentrate and going with my brain going over place so it doesn't solve everything yes And I thought it would. I thought I'd wake up and go, here we go. I'm going to write the sick call one day.

Just slinking along like an Italian model. And I'm just so calm now. Exactly. I'm so calm, cool and sexy. And yeah, so yeah, so it has helped in that way. Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids.

And I want to give back to the community. Ooh. Then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever sense. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonise your business, your family and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the centre. Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com.

Your kids are helping you with dating. Is it like a friendship relationship now? Or is it like, are you still? No, well, we still. Do you have authority in the house? I still do have authority. I can be sensible sometimes. I was having a chat with my old.

this last night about finance and I listened to myself and went oh you're talking a lot of sensible stuff here and all about let's try and sort that and you've got to you know and really moving through pre-nup but I do think yeah pre-nup oh god I do think I do think it's about daughters and sons I don't know what I'd be like with sons what do you have you have I've got two girls one of each two girls yeah and the girls your favorite no they are but you know they're better I'm sorry how old's your son four oh god that's so I feel like I'm bullying it, but he's only a tiny kid. But he's going to grow up to be not as good as your daughter.

Why do you think this? Well, because girls just are amazing. And particularly, I think, but I think it's also the thing. He's a love, no, you're still loving. So are you pleased when you got two girls? I think I did want the full, I wanted one of each. I think I wanted the full experience. I'm slightly jealous of you that you will get the full experience.

So now you're shitting on it, yeah. Yeah, no, so I, yeah. So which girl would you get rid of? Oh, I don't know. I've got a feeling they'll give a time. No, let's get rid. No, there's... The one that isn't listening.

The one that doesn't listen to me on podcast. No, I love both for me. No, but I do think, and I, all this is not even, I've not read books on this or anything. My personal opinion is that the opposite sex child forgives their opposite sex parent more than the same sex parent. So your son will look at you and really tear you apart for the role model you are as a man to him. Whereas his mum is my lovely mum.

And I've, and I just, you know, I'm sort of. of a joke to my kids, not totally because I am still someone that can impose discipline. I can't imagine you imposing discipline. No, I, I, oh, I switch. You should see my dating apps, mate. I will reveal things if you start I'm going to say. I've got a question

about the dating apps. I would have got a friend who's on the dating apps and they, they're in their 40s different person to the person I mentioned before just in case anyone's jigsawing. It's so lies that you've got lots of friends broken up or breaking up because that's going to help you when it happens. Exactly.

Why, Josh, why not me? Do you think I'm alright? I don't know. There's just something about this. Josh. I just think, Josh. Well, this is something I won't indulge him. She said... Who's she? The cat's mother? It's nude central.

Oh, no, your friend that's dating. Oh, really? Yeah. There's just nudes flying about all over the shop. Is she going for younger men? No, I don't think so. I don't know. I'm not asked, actually. There's no... No, I didn't come across any of that. The moment the news came up. I just got hot and left the room. So how soon after...

the divorce and because it's, you know, because it was obviously more of a shock for you than for your ex. So how quickly were you back doing that kind of stuff? And did you go into, because I imagine what I'll go in too early and then just be really upset on a date and then realise it's too soon.

No, exactly. I did, well, I went in two soon, but it was still like seven or eight months after we'd broken up. But I should have waited three years. Yeah. I mean, I'm beginning to now settle into, into, like I'm in a relationship that is still quite short-lived, but

is feeling very, very serious. You've got a partner, a girlfriend? Is it a girlfriend now? Yes, I mean, we're very far off anything. Would you use the word girlfriend? What can you do in your 50? I don't know. I don't know what you say. You say partner, don't you? If I say partner, obviously people assume I'm gay, a lot of don't know. So I usually get that. Sad fat ponds was when I got,

But I nearly called my tour show sad, fad ponds. Sad fat, pot. Ponce is such an old-fashioned word. But sad-fat-fat Pots, I went, it's perfect. Isn't it? Because online, I tend to do a little bit of politics. Why I wind up the wrong people. You don't when you do politics on stage that much, do you? I always do a bit in my show.

I'm trying to do politics and keep everybody in the room. And that's quite hard. So I tend to do a prepared thing. Because I imagine, you know, your audience are a kind of, of there's a lot of kind of Lib Dem Tories there. They're, yes. Are you still going? I've got earned from for ages.

They're coming back. Are they doing, no, I'm not even a go. I don't mind the Lib Dems. You remind me hugely of a friend of mine who's always been a Lib Dem. Are you a Lib Dem? Oh, no, you're a West Country as well. Sorry, we don't want to expose your politics.

You don't know. No, no, it's fine. He's fine. I'm on the last leg. I've got your dates in, how, so you didn't call the tour, Sad Fat Pots. No. You called it, can dish it out but can't take it.

Yeah. It's really meant to. be Hal Cruttled and Conditioned Out but can't take it, but they put these colons in and everybody calls it conditioned out but can't take it. It really should be Hal Cruttling and Conditioned out. Yeah, yeah. Conditioned out. Because it is quite true about me that I am. I say this movie in the show. I'm surprisingly hard. I'm getting harder as a comic. I think you saw me in my nicest years. Yeah, I think you were a lot more sensitive back in the day on the server.

Yeah, you were, but also you're quite down on yourself. That's your humour. So like when you say that, people having got at you. online I don't think it's but you jump in before them when people have a go at how cruttenden it's nothing compared to what's going on in your head exactly exactly you can't hurt me as much as I'm hurting myself and that's why it's wrong up there in his head it's easy to come back there is it's why it's easy to come what did some guys say so I said to me the other day going this was this was dodgy and I kind of talked about of it because he went you and me let's he just

came I just I put this video out that he hated he went we need to meet sort this out, I want to see the state of your face after I finished with you and all the rest of the... And I went... Was this on a date? And I wrote, is this a date? What shall I wear? And he was quite funny because he wrote a gum shield. But then I went...

I did say, and I meant it quite... And I actually ended up talking down a bit because I said, if you... If you do believe that everything should be solved through physical violence, then you're going to really enjoy prison after you've beat me up. Then he went, I wouldn't bother with you. You're not worth it. And I went, oh my God, he really thinks. He really

did think about it. It was really weird. Yeah, I might go to prison. Because I always say that to audiences, if anything gets nasty. I will press charges. I'm not ready to fight. Well, bear that in mind, because you're on tour with Condition It's Out, but can't take it. Swindon, Peterborough, York, South End on Sea, London, Lesser Square Theatre. A great venue, that is.

And this, the Corn Exchange, all the way through till June. Honestly, you're one of the best live acts. So if you live near there, go and see how. This episode is brought to you by Tesco Mobile. Now, we've all heard it takes a village to raise a child. Yes. These days, a lot of that village is found on your phone, isn't it, Rob? Absolutely.

Some people say having your phone is so imperative because you can connect with your children, you can message them, you can track where they are. For me, you're out with your mates. It's been a long meal. Your kids are bored. Give them your phone. Let them go on roadblocks.

All I'm saying is, they're going to have a good hour. You're going to have a good hour. Do you know what I like, Rob? From ground down by the tiredness of maybe an ill child or something, I just need to talk to someone who has been through it and understands what I've gone through. And while I'm lying there with my child, going to sleep on the bed, I can't just phone my mate, but I can text them,

I can put it in a WhatsApp group of dads and mums and suddenly you feel less alone. Or you can listen to a podcast on your phone and maybe tune into something like Parents in Hell with Robert and Josh Woodrow. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Do you know what? Or maybe you want tips, right? Yeah.

We've all got friends whose children have been through the same stuff as us. I've been constantly texting them to say, oh, this is happening. Give us some advice. Give me some advice. Because that is how a lot of our communication has done these days. And it's incredibly useful to have that at the touch of a thumb. Whether you need a quick chat, advice, or just back up every parent out of their nose, having a network of family and friends just to call or text away is a lifesaver.

That's why Tesco Mobile is happy to be your second most important network. Tesco Mobile, it pays to be connected. Search why Tesco Mobile to find out more. So do the kids, do they see your shows about the divorce? Because obviously they're comfortable with it and they, you know. They sort, do you know what? It's a harder thing to hear your dad joking about it when it's your life. Yes.

And obviously they're going to protect their mum. And it can't be like a sledgehammer show about it. And are they splitting the time between you and the mum as well, then or is it more at yours because of the location? It's slightly more at mine because of the location, but they will see their mum. Yeah, they'll see their mum lots and, you know, they'll do lots of their mum. But they are, yeah, this show I was more worried about because I checked, but I check everything with them. I go, look, I'm going to do this, what about this joke?

Do you check it with your ex? I did for the first show, not for the second. I thought, times past, you don't need to know what I'm going to do. But my kids... And has she come? No, no, no, no. And she wouldn't have come to either. This is the thing.

You try and be as honest as possible. And when your kids are watching it, they're old enough to be. able to you know that they can take a certain amount they can hear a little bit so but you're trying to time it so this one i was very aware they didn't see it till london i did edinburgh and they weren't free they were away in edinburgh and then they didn't see it so i did it in london in november and that was incredible relief like they just they were there and went yeah that's that's fine that's nice because i do couch it i couch everything in a way that this is it is a 50-50 thing i'm obviously an idiot i'm not easy to live with i know i'm

incredibly lovable and you think I would be but but it is difficult living with us and living with me and and also but also I will still make fun on my ex I'll still make fun of the fact the way I was left and I'll still yeah so and she's still with the guy

she's still with the guy and they're you know and when stuff happens with your daughters where it's like graduation or a big event like you know the weddings and engaging that going forward are you happy to sort of be there as you know with them and it's there's no sort of is it still a bit tricky? I haven't seen him. No.

Because he was someone I knew for quite a long time ago. But no more details. But I haven't seen him since all this happened. But he wouldn't be at the graduations. But me and my ex we always got on great. We always got on great. She's very funny. As long as you can be there for them. Yeah.

She's an immensely funny, really entertaining woman. I think there's that thing of you. You have to go through like your rage of being left or the way you've been left and remember that this is someone. You know, I think people, you're almost slagging yourself off when you go, I was an idiot, why did I marry this person? And now it's ended up terribly.

Just remember why you loved them and why they were great. Give yourself that respect. Go, it wasn't a bad decision. My kids, Martha said to me, never regret your marriage, Dad, because that would be regretting us. And I said, yeah, but I could have had better kids with someone else. Which is the worst bit of parenting I've ever done. She did laugh.

Yeah, but she knows your joke. With that, right, so is it, will it, has it got to? to a point where you're like, that was a period of my life now that was just a... Yeah. Like, oh, that... The second act. Because I know it sounds... But I don't kind of see it like this thing where you go, oh, if a relationship fails,

everything about it was bad. Do you know what I mean? Surely there's part of you that goes, well, that worked for 20 years. It created two kids that I'm really immensely proud of. I still get on with her. I still have respect for her. That's kind of amazing and quite rare, right? see it in that way.

Yeah, but it's sort of like you have to, because when you're younger and have shorter relationships, you do tend to go, well, that was wrong. You've been together two years, whereas this is, or three years, maybe your longest relationship before you get married. And then you're with someone for over 20 years. You can't just go, I've wasted the middle of my life, you know, which I haven't because it was a really interesting experience.

That's the thing I found about getting older. There is that thing of, and it's very Zen and Buddhist or whatever, but the terrible things that happen are just so interesting the way you turn out, the way you come through them, the way you grow from them, the way you learn. The sort of person I am is so different to the person I was 10 years ago who couldn't share, I couldn't talk about my marriage because I'm a man who didn't, even when there were problems of my marriage, didn't feel that I could even let good friends know because I felt like my best friend was my wife.

I've got a big thing on this, that women tend not to see their husband totally as their best friend. They often have another great best friend who they really do share stuff with. men often don't share the details of their marriage. Yeah. And it leaves you so alone when things go wrong and things aren't going well. So I've learned my, it's a comic called Paddy Ledux and my friend Al Barry, actually. And we're trying to have more female-type relationships where we share everything and go,

and go, because I think where, I think men can be really sort of cut off. And when we get divorced, it's why we handle it so badly. So often men fall apart and they don't deal with it. but I have found this is such an interesting chapter and my relationship with my kids is almost definitely better than it would have been if I'd stayed in my marriage because just the intensity

of being just with them just that one on one time and my ex was clever about this because she used to do a thing where she used to have like a mummy and daddy day where we'd take one kid and we'd have just one of our daughters would just be with one of us

and one with the other I think that's quite important because we double up a lot and it's unfair on them because it's just them two with they've had one on one time I think it's really important Yeah, and you really get to, you know, you just get more intense time with them. And I find now, because I'm by myself most, you know, most of the time,

that I have just a much more intense relationship with my daughters. So it is fabulous. How was it, if you've got, you know, a lot of the people I've known, I don't know that many, but, you know, a lot of the people I've known who've gone through relationship breakups when they've got kids, they've all got kids that are maybe under 10, right? And so that's a whole thing. thing that is like how are we going to navigate this? How are we going to, you know,

who looks after when, you know, how are we going to communicate all of these, you know, we all know. And also finances as well when they're young, young, or not when they're adults. How did you discuss that with your ex? Do you know what I mean? Like, because you're going, okay, so we've now got to tell our daughters who are older, but it's not going to affect them, but it is going to affect, like how did you navigate that? Because it's not the one that people think about generally when they think about kids of divorce, if you know what I mean. Well, they don't think about how you navigate it telling older kids. Older kids, yeah.

But I was thinking about something that was one of the most intense, a really weird moment. I don't know where my head was at. Because I was definitely, my ex was definitely primary carer. She cut down on work. You both in some situations. The default parent, you call it. Your secondary carer.

But you have those days, but you do have that time when you're sort of, you know. And I had a real, when she first told me we were breaking up, I'd had about two hours sleep. And they were at Newcastle and Leeds at uni. and I went to see the youngest who'd only been at Newcastle like a week see Grace but I remember that day

and I was listening to a song on repeat on the time I was a little bit mad understandably because I said to my ex Did you tell you that full story at that point? No, no just that we're breaking up Yeah so I just thought Was it a bolt from the blue?

It was no there was sort of a year of knowing things would possibly dodgy I was hanging on a bit I was doing a bit I'll never do that again Don't hang on guys I hope it's getting this is like

it should be like divorce And I've said there's people listening, just from the call. Yeah. Just you've, I think you've been together such long time. And also I'm someone who has quite low self-esteem. Yeah. And so I tend to communicate that. I'm going, I've got to stop doing this in my next relationships of, well, hopefully I'm not doing the one I'm in.

And someone just ends up going, yeah, you are a bit rubbish. And they kind of, so you've told them so much you're rubbish that they, that you get pulled down as well. So I was sort of going, yeah, this is all sort of falling apart. And I was sitting on the train going, I know this sounds stupid. My kids were 21 and 19. But I sort of thought, is this going to destroy my relationship with my kids? Is somehow, because their mum is their person who's been more always there, I've been away. Admittedly, as comics, we're around for a lot of school pickup.

We're around for a lot of hours. But the nature of your job, you're the breadwinner. And I thought, am I going to lose them? And that was the worst and best day. It was right afterwards. And I said to my ex-door and I said, I'll tell them because they'll worry about me because I'm the one being left. So I want to go as well, they'll hear it for me. So I went up and I told Grace,

and in Newcastle. So you travelled up especially? Yes, I took the train to Newcastle, told Grace she was it was awful. She was delayed in a lecture. She was doing her first, second week of duty. It was so hard. We just sat and cried in this custer.

But then she immediately said, I mean, she honestly, she's very funny, Grace. So it's about the second or third thing Grace said was going, well, first of all, Grace, when I went, Grace, I've got something to tell you. And she went to the worst. She thought, mum's died, mum's ill. So she was like, and I said, oh God, I'm so sorry.

No, we're divorcing. Oh, you're just divorcing. But the second or third thing she said was, which did make me laugh so much, was like, you're going to be fine. You'll find another woman or a man. And she was amazing. And then we walked around and we went back to her dorm. And she was very emotional and I was as well.

And it was, because Grace is sort of youngest. How long did she've been at uni by this point? She'd been at uni a week. Wow. Also, that's the other thing. Look out for that time. Youngest uni, that's when... That's when...

That's when the... Truth bombs, I got... Oh, how... I had an nightmare with this. I had an absolute shocker. I... One of my friends, she's...

Her parents divorced about the same time as you in terms of her life. And she said, yeah, uh... She's the youngest of her. And she said, yeah, they divorced just after... I went to uni.

And I said, oh, was it one of the ones where they held on so that... So that... So as soon as you left, they could then just go through with it. And she went, oh, God. I hadn't thought of me like that before. Bye then. You're just terrible.

Yeah, see her soon. And she's never spoken to you soon. So then you've got the train from Newcastle. So then I did that. And just saying lovely, because they're both artists like their mum. And they're both, and they're both going, we can help you decorate your new house. And they start to say positive things.

And then, well, they started to say things that were so. are just so uplifting because because they were saying we're going to be in your life you know doing whatever you're doing and you just suddenly and I thought why did I ever think that and then I went to see Martha and was it like you were you knocking out both convos in a day yes is yes god that's a lot word howe so I was leaving grace but then dawn my ex-wife was going up to grace spent night there to talk to us well yeah fair enough and then Martha was at Leeds and I went to see Martha. So she's left you but now following you around the country. Yeah, exactly. She's following me. Talks to the kids go, don't believe anything he says. It's lies. She's

scared in her fucking lies. Yeah, let me get my side in. It's, it's like question time where the government, the prime minister always gets the last comment. Yeah, damn. But, then I went to see Martha and then Martha's, Martha was, I've been at uni three years. She had a boyfriend at uni. Grace didn't have her boyfriend at uni with her. So I was feeling Martha was just lovely. We went and got pissed. I went about three or four pines. And she was so,

and I just remember this vision of me bursting into tears over things and she would run round and sort of throw her arms around. I went, I'm not because I'm sad. I'm so proud of the way you're taking all this. Because they were so, God, I am actually getting emotional. That's an amazing moment.

It was relief. You're feeling relief. Yeah, but it was just so, it was just so that thing of going, it's going to be, it's going to be fine. It's going to be okay. And I did, I think you realise what you mean, that you do mean masses to people. So yes, I knew I was going, I didn't have enough sleep last night, guys.

And I've never got out of the podcast. You would need to get on the Stephen Bartlett podcast. You'd absolutely rip it. What they do with that trailer, they'll fucking. Do you done James O'Brien's podcast? No. Did he make you cry? No, I didn't.

But I really, and I can't believe I've cried on this one. Well, I didn't really cry. We lull you in. No, we, yeah. Your eyes are glassy. Watch the videos on Spotify. It really is worth it. Yeah.

But it's just relieved that feeling of, you know, in that moment you think, oh my God, they just, you know, don't you say, you got low self-esteem anyway, and you're being secure, and then your wife's leaving you, and you think, well, the kids are just going to go in her, because girls go to their mum and all that. But then that moment where they just put their arms around, and you said, it's okay. Yeah, it's going to be okay.

I did far too much, I must admit, when I'd say to people going, dads aren't that important, of feeling dads aren't that important, and actually dads are hugely important. To my daughters, they were, you know, it was, and you just thought, well, I do my stuff, I do my best, and I do, you know, but I mean, when I say low self-esteem, I do get on a stage and talk in front of crowds into a mic.

But it's not fixing it. No, but that's the reason why you're out there, Al. 25 years he's not done the job. Oh, God. But it sounds like it's made your relationship with your kids stronger then. Yeah, it really has. Much greater honesty, much greater chast. I mean, God, they're just amazing.

You're still working as hard as you was, or you calm down slightly now that they're grown up? I, well, because I'm divorced, I'm working just as hard as I did. I do work quite hard. I don't know if it's a medication or what's gone on or your age. You're much, you're still how. You're still incredibly funny and got an amazing energy and a charisma. But it's like a slightly mellowed sort of focus version. I was a bit worried when you turned up.

Oh, really? I was like, oh, it's nice. This must be why I'm so sexy. You actually think you are sexier. I want to say sexy, sexier. Can I ask on that then, have you had to bring, you live with your kids? No. Have you had to bring anyone back with your daughters there?

Yes. Oh, they're lovely about it. They've met. They leave immediately. They are, you know. Do you text ahead and go, I'm bringing back? I say someone's staying tonight. Is that fine?

There might be noise for one to two minutes. I love. But they are. so delightful to people that... So are you having breakfast with your daughters and a and other? And quite often they'll come back and they'll sit and chat. They are so lovely because it probably could be intimidating. Yeah.

And I've met some people's kids who were a bit like, hi, huh. So you've done it the other way. Mine is so sweet. That's another thing breaks my heart. I'll cry again now. Because I see the look on their face as I introduce to some. They're like, hi. And they want everything to work.

They are just... Maybe they're terrified that they're going to end up somehow looking after this broken man if he doesn't get impaired off with someone. I don't think it's that. I don't think it's that. I think it's that they, you know, they, they are, they, they just want to see everybody happy and everything fine. And I do, I so appreciate that, the way they are so nice.

I mean, I'm not bringing back reams of women, but I've brought back. They came on holiday with a woman I was dating. They dated, a woman I was a long time. And they came on holiday with it. And they're gorgeous. And just, and I find that, because I always say, I'm going, you fine with this. Because I find it hard. to watch my parent with someone else, but they're never, they don't have any sort of issues

with, you know, oh, you know, you're taking my dad away. And would you be doing stuff like, you know, it's 7pm and you're going on a date and you're like, do I look to your daughters? Should I wear this shirt? I do do that. I am terrible. They do, but I'm also a little bit to, I mean, I do, I, I do make fun of them. Yeah. I go, here's your new mummy and things. And they go, shut up. No, I don't, sorry, introduce someone like that. I will be flat. I will go, is she lovely, don't you?

And I do tend to talk to them about. Have they ever gone? I didn't like that one. I'm glad that one's. They've never, they're really careful. So what kind of woman are you, you know, you found a partner now, but like, do you look for, when you was first on a dating app,

someone that's very like you or somebody who's very calm and chill to sort of balance that out? Well, to tell the truth, I've been doing a lot of, if they like me, that's what happened. If they like me, then that's the, woman for me. I mean honestly I was just terribly you like me I can't believe you like me because you've been you know you're in a marriage so long your confidence you're not think about people did not flirt with me when I was married as I was talking to a PR about this

when I'm not good at flirting I went I said I said I look at people um I said we were talking about comics who mess about um I've never heard rumors about you too by the way so no done um just want to say that. This dicks under lock and king. People are NDA'd up to the fucking eyeballs. And only Lou knows the past go. Of course it's just. Oh, he's fucking all day long. He's like a fucking street dog with a rod on.

We could wrap this up and meeting someone in the Spotify. He can't even wrap up. But that, but that thing, you're so, you're very rude. You're very gutter. Yeah. I like a bit of blue. This episode is brought to you by Federo. These days, the power move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate launch.

The real power move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move. All these comics, and we're talking about people who mess around and beautiful footballers who, you know, great looking. guys who go off and sleep around and I went I don't get approached I don't get the offers which is I mean I'm pleased I've been faithful to my wife but I'm I'm not saying it's never been tested I wasn't throwing women throwing themselves at me and um you don't put it out there you don't put it you have to put it out there apparently yeah so that's what you're losing guy is so are you putting it out at the moment well as soon as I put it out it's happening now no I'm not putting it no because

I'm with someone no but I mean I'm not gonna catch a fish unless you get your maggot out yeah Exactly. Oh, God, that's a great saying. Yeah, but a bit blue as well. Yeah, a bit blue. He does gutter. I can do gutter. I can do a highbrow as well if you want. No, you can't. I don't think I can that. But, but yeah, so I think that thing of being single, I mean, I did, I must admit, I think I was in my first show. You can't play Mozart about getting your cello out.

Exactly. Is that hard bra? That's nice. That's a lot. Yeah, really long. Yeah, he sat there thinking of things, but, but that thing of being, of being out there as I'm a divorce, comic, I'm a single man. And people do approach you. So the first woman I dated saw me a gig and her friend sent her phone number back. Oh, wow. This friend went, I think she's perfect for you. I'm with this. It was an open-air gig in six years ago. And that's how we- Is Stephen Grant's gig in Bright? It wasn't. No,

it was up in Cumbria or something. And then the... You do Blue as well? Cumbria. Yeah. Sorry. But he's disappointed in you, Rob. He is. I am. I'm just... Sorry, how. No. No. No, you're doing something. No, it's lovely. You're doing something I'm not that good at, so I'm quite impressed. Exactly. And we've all got a little moment in the show, I don't do the word, play stuff so well, you know, but that's, you do it so well. I think an hour and a half of that would be tough to listen to me. But you get the longer stories, you get more. But a nuance, a bit of emotion, he just shouts come. But other other relationships, I mean, I have been out with people because I've met on dating apps, but also sometimes through just chat.

on Instagram and I do get Pally and so you do get chatting with people who's also divorced and you do want to chat you don't go so what's it like for you being there's like you and then you get chassing and then you've been and then three months later you go do you want to meet or or you might be near them anyway because you're travelling around the country yeah so so when you meet the people there's obviously a thing with you where you didn't have the first time when you were dating which is that you're googlable people know know loads about you people can read about you know everything you've done and also your divorce yeah yeah yeah Yeah, they can.

Yes, I don't, God, I don't think about that. That's why they seem to glaze over when I tell them my life story because they already know it. Because if you went on a date with someone that had a Wikipedia, you'd read it. You'd be meant to not to. I've dated a comic. And it does make me laugh and I do understand, but it was someone who went, let's keep this quiet.

And then a year later, dated another comic. all over their social media. Wow. And so it feels like you've reached a really nice point with it all. Well yeah, but I still cried in a podcast talking about talking about the break. But you cried in a good

way. Do you know what? I've been crying a lot recently. Can I talk about crying to make how I feel better? Basically, I think if you cry or get emotion about things, you're connected to how you're feeling. Yeah, I agree. If it never comes... If it never comes, you're

you're blocking it and you're an emotional person. I'm a very emotional person to the point where I'm so emotional that I cry a lot. If I'm driving along and I hear a song or I think of something and a feeling that I feel, I feel it properly and then my eyes well up, a tear comes out, I'll wipe it, then I get on with my day and I feel so much better during the day rather than putting blinkers on and ploughing on.

So never apologise for it. It's brilliant that you can do that and you're comfortable and it makes you regulate yourself. But having said that, are we, should we, would we not be better comics if we could crush everything? Because comedy for me is about crushing those feelings. and making a joke out of it and diminishing it. So are we getting less funny the more we're crying?

No, you're getting more funny. You're getting more funny. But I would take less funny and more content. I don't know. You two are so much more mature than me. I'm very, I'm very, no. No, no. No, no.

No, so we usually end with the same question, but it feels like we can't really do that one this time. It's up to how if it wants to do it or not. Oh yeah. The question is, what is the thing about your partner? I mean, you could do it about your ex or your new partner, or your children? Who you live with?

Or you could don't have your children. But basically it's like, what normally is... Your daughter who's listening to this. Oh, maybe about her. But yeah, so basically, what is it your partner does parenting-wise that makes you think, oh, they're amazing. I'm so happy we've got children with them. And what's the thing that frustrates you the most about them parenting?

But obviously, you may not want to do that about your ex, but you have brought up these kids together. Yeah, I could do that. I think she'll be fine. Yeah, I could do that. But I don't know if one of the reasons. In the spirit of saying, you know, it's not a wasted 20 years. You've got these beautiful children out of it.

So, you know. she is I said I do I do jokes about the fact that I did too many jokes about my wife as well I did talk about my wife a lot You did used to talk about your wife a lot Literally I mean I had a joke about it Where she stood in front of me going stop making jokes about me

You're listening to me and me going Listen I'm trying to get it all down Because she was she is a very funny Very entertaining very lovable person And I think that that warmth that she had was massive for the kids She gave all that and that warmth she had was exceptional. It's what drew me to her.

I literally met her. We got married five months after meeting. And, you know, I just had that joke about that going, people say, you just know, we just knew she was pregnant. But we did meet and go, yes. And I met because I went, that your warmth makes me go, I want to have kids with you. And so I think that, that's what she had that was amazing.

And, oh, the thing that annoyed me. me about which, and I know this is a thing with loads of couples and we did used to this. This is not like a major thing. But I was with parents that had, my parents had a complete united front when it came to the kids. And I really believe in that. And I don't know if it's right or not. But I would go, right, isn't that right?

And my wife would go, no, I think you're wrong on that. Don't feel, don't let the seven year old doubt me. Don't let the seven year old. So that was my biggest thing. I would say that we weren't, she would be, she was very honest. She was honest with the kids. Yeah. And very emotional.

Sometimes not always a united front. Yeah, exactly. So I think that for me was a really important thing. But I think that's probably just the way I was brought up. Do you know what I think that's amazing? Because, you know, some people don't want to answer that question and stuff. But you're so, I've dealt with it so well in a mature way. I think it's lovely for your kids to hear you talk about your ex like that.

Because, you know, for them, you are still the two most important people in their lives that are still there for them. And it don't want it to be, you know, and then they're supporting your future. But you kind of raise that 20 years of the amazing times you had. Also, I'd far rather be a child of a couple that have made divorce work than a couple that are together and it's not really good. Do you know what I mean? Can I do one other advert for staying together?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry, no, what were you going to say? Not that I'm saying that's what your relationship was, but what I mean is we all know these couples where you go, I don't think this staying together thing is creating the image that you think it is. But I was trying to think about this the other day. I have certain people I know and certain old,

this happens with old couples. we might have grandparents like this, where they hated each other, and then one dies and they become an angel. And the person goes, they were such an angel. And I know a lot of people do that. And I think that's the great thing

about staying together when you hate each other, is there's someone there to constantly make you feel right, that they're always wrong. And I, so just, if you are in a miserable relationship, there is still that option. It wouldn't have been right for me, I don't think, but there was still that option, because I was just always wrong.

But that option of going, I kind of hate you, but I like having you around because you're a counterpoint and make me feel better about myself. Just thought I'd do an advert there. Yeah. And I think it's important for you guys

who are in long marriages. Yeah. And I also feel bad because I know I feel like like I've always made, ended Josh's marriage. I feel like he's on his way. No, don't know. And I've rumished his son.

He's only four. Yeah, he's going to be brilliant. No, he's great. Well, it's too late. Hal, this genuinely has been so funny. One of my favour. And so inspiring for anyone that's going through similar things.

I think, I know you put yourself down but the way you talk about it. But also, X month. You're doing it brilliantly. Good choice of tour venue. Oh yes, thank you. I'm really looking forward to it. Yeah, so don't you? When does this come out before? When does this come out?

I'm not sure when it come, Michael? Oh, oh, Xmas's done. I really enjoyed X-Men. It was lovely. Josh wasn't there. I just saw Howe's heart sink in real time. How, it's been brilliant. You're such a great comedian. Thank you guys. Everyone go and see you, but not in Exmouth. On the next tour. On the next tour.

Yes. And follow him on his social, me. You're great on Instagram. Yes, look out for my name. or in a couple of years, sad fat ponds. It's got to be called that. You heard it here first. Cheers, Hal. Thanks, mate. Cheers.

Hal Quotenden. Love that. Such a good episode. I'm really happy for Hal because he's had a very difficult few years and challenging, but he's like, come through it really well. And like, I don't know, like I said to him, I don't think it's his medication or he just matured or what's happened. But he seems like in a much chilled, mellow place,

but still well fun in. still himself and still his personality, but just in a bit of more like focused way. Go and see him on tour, Rob. He's so funny live. He's joking about being self-obsessed. Like bang, bang, bang with a punchline. Yeah, it's non-stop.

It's brilliant. Hello, parenting hell listeners. Recognise that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whitakam here. I have got a new podcast, Josh Whitickam's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it. I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it.

Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics, see above.

Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Millie Vanilli were more interesting than there's of the first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real, when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from you too, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are, by the way. Either you know what these things are and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realized you wanted to or you don't and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff next will learn, lose next will laugh. New episodes

available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcast now. Museum of Pop Culture with me Josh Whitakum, available everywhere from the 1st of January.