Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S12 EP4: You've Jet-lagged Yourself

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... You can listen to Josh's new podcast⁠ ⁠ 'Museum of Pop Culture'⁠⁠ wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes released twice a week. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode, Josh, is brought to you by my friend and yours, The Apple Watch. Let's have a look. Actually got one on. There you go. It's actually mine that. He loves the product. He loves the product so good he bought it himself. What?

The little will. It feels like I'm a DJ mixing. Oh, very nice. Now, Josh, have you set yourself any new resolutions? Yes, I have. Yes, I'm trying to get trim again. Trim. Yeah, like when I did Strictly.

Do you remember how trim I was then? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're strictly, buddy. When you did Strictly for a week and a half of the Christmas special. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. When I was trim for a week. week and a half. Well, did you know, the thing is about New Year's resolutions, Josh. Have you

heard about Quitters Day? No, tell me about Quitters Day. Well, basically, Quitter's day is the second Friday in January. Yeah. That's where most people give up. Oh, that's a bit sad, isn't it? It is sad, isn't it? So what can we do about it? Apple Watch. Go on. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me a bad, I'm on a fitness journey. Yeah. By the time I'm 40, I want a six-pack. You're already 40. Yeah, I know. So I've got a year to go. So I've got time. Yeah, yeah, fine. This little fella's gonna get me there. Okay, tell me how. Activity rings. Oh, yeah. What's that I mean, tells me what I'm doing. Walking.

Sleeping. I clicked outdoor football. They told me how many calories I burnt. Oh, that's nice. How much running I was doing. Oh, that's nice. It didn't tell me how good my goals were, but you know, it's a different kind of tech. It's got a little trainer.

I went for a run. He goes, well done. You've done a kilometer. That's nice. Keep going. This is your, you need that, don't you? Yeah, I need it. It gets lonely.

Very lonely on the road. Very lonely, pounding the pavements. Mounted the pavements, yeah. That is a mind-blowing amount of helpful features. It means you have no. excuse not to be fit by the end of 40. Quit quitting with Apple Watch, Josh. Exactly.

Search Apple Watch Series 11 to find out more. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Levi, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Can you say Josh Whitaker? Yes, Louisville. Yay, well done. There we go, Levi.

That's very jolly. Hey, lads. Here's my 24-month-old son, Levi, saying your name, to my wife introduced me to the podcast. during lockdown because we became parents. Two years in it all makes sense. Thanks for making it and keep up the good work. Simon Hitchin.

Hang on. So introduce them to it because they became parents, but he's only two years old. No, introduce me to the podcast during lockdown before we became parents. Got you, got you, got you, okay. Now they got Little Levi. Now they got Little Levi. I just got a text from Southwest Water while that was going on, Rob.

Go on, what they said? I've received since the storm started 1, 2, 3, 4 Storm Goretti 7 texts saying that there's no water in our area but there is water in our area So every time I panic Did you get affected by the storm?

No Apart from the text messages Apart from the text messages How have you been Rob? You seem edgy I'm very tired Josh I've had a bit of a Oh no

Oh no No, no, no, everything's fine. So I haven't had any sleep last night and I was coming off the back of not much rest as well. So I did Graham Norton Thursday night. Yeah. That went out Friday. Then I did the Rob Beckett, Bromley Churchill, three in a row gigs.

Yeah, let's not, I don't think Graham Norton's the stress here. It's the fact that the three gigs that you've always thought is the way the next tour is going to be done. Yeah. This was the way you do. decided to trial it out was three gigs in Bromley Churchill. You presumed it'd be a piece of piss. And it was.

It was. That is not the issue. The reason I'm tired. Absolute piece of piss. Brilliant. Because basically I did a whole weekend's work in one day. 1 o'clock 4.30, 8 o'clock. And the worst part of comedy, I think, is waiting all day to do it and overthinking.

And then after the show, shewing on it and allow it to get in your head. Is this bad? Hmm. I don't really think about the tour show until about a minute before, until when I'm on tour. I don't, if I'm at home, but if I'm in the city that I'm doing the show in, all I'm thinking about is the show because I mean...

Is it? Well, yeah, because I'm there. There's nothing else to do all day. I just let my wonderful mind wander. Okay, well, I just sit there going, why the fuck am I in Coventry? No offense. Again all day.

Do you what I mean? Why am I on an industrial estate? Do I need to be on an industrial estate? What I like about the three and a day? day is you don't you're not hung up on the last gig you get time to try new things in the next gig it feels like you're just doing the show all day which i loved and then i love this so much josh i'm out of people that came to the eight o'clock show we went for drinks at 10 p m i was out drink until 1 a m well yeah i heard when lu and you know let's not preface that who we're getting

on but we have recorded with lou for the podcast and she you and her were discussing booking a bar for after it so we book a bar and we i was an last man standing everyone else's I've gone home. I've done three shows. Still having a drink. I had a brilliant time. This is called, Rob. This is called a manic episode. It's not. No, no, no. It's not going to manic it. It was great. The actual gig for me, on stage is the easiest part, right? And that has been the easiest.

And you need to talk to your therapist about that, Rob, if that's the easiest bit of your life. No, now. So this is when I got tired. So basically, lose away. Sorry to knit your catchphrase. Sorry, what's happening? You're drinking. The plugs come off on. the thing, so I can't go to the drink. The plug of your drink. The rubber bit that goes on the lid. Yeah. You're drinking a protein shake? I'm drinking a protein shake. What flavor? Vanilla. Classic tea. We've run out of chocolate. We've run out of chocolate.

You turn your nose up to the sort of caramel one, don't you? That's a bit too much for you. I'd find that one a bit much, yeah. It's a bit sweet to make. By the way, can I just very quickly? say this, Rob. We put up a clip on Instagram of these, and it just reminded me and someone commented on the clip, Josh is the only person I

know who still use wired headphones. And everyone was like, yeah, what an idiot. Yeah. You're using fucking, that's how the fucking dialogue, how our reputations have gone ahead of us, that there's a clip of me and you using wireless headphones. And everyone's commenting

that I'm the only person who ever uses wireless headphones. Well, actually, that the Hardcores will know that you love your wireless ones to the point that they don't connect or work. Yeah, exactly. So the reason we're using wired headphones is because it's fail-safe. It can't run out of battery.

And the point of a wireless headphone is you're wandering around so you need to be wireless, but we're sat down in a chair, so there's no benefit to be wireless. Michael sent me some beats. Wired beats. Unwired beats that I'm not allowed to leave, that are not allowed to leave this room. Is that what he said?

Yeah. That's a good thing. So why have you got, beats, why can't you have wired ones? Well, we were talking about wireless, right? So there's not this distracting wire. Oh, so it looks neater. So it looks neater.

And then he said he'd get me beats because if he got me the Apple ones, they'd get, I might end up taking them out of the room because I'd get them confused with my Apple headphones because he doesn't trust me. Oh my God, it's like he's dealing with an elderly relative. Exactly. He built your own fucking studio.

He's dealing. Only because I was busy, not because I can't be trusted. He's dealing with two absolute. fucking idiots. Right. Okay. Anyway, so... Saturday. Saturday. So, right. I'm over? No, not really. I only had a couple of drinks. I had two points of Guinness. Hill manic episode. I was honestly, Josh, I cannot express you how non-manic I was. I love doing the gigs. The gigs, the crowd were really up for it. The first show,

because I didn't gig for a little while. I forgot like 10 minutes of material, so I only did half an hour in the first section. But then I did longer in the second section of that one. But then I can't complain anyway, because they basically lied to work to come. Yeah. So what was interesting was the one. o'clock people were really giddy because they'd basically done the school drop and were coming to the gig before picking up the kids again. Or they were working, the amount of people in that room working from home that were still officially working just out.

Of course. The joy in that room was off the scale. 430 gig was good, but they were a bit, they felt a little, a couple of them felt a bit rushed because they come straight from work. Yeah. And then calmer in the second half because they'd had a drink and they relaxed. And then 8 o'clock Friday night was just classic normal up for it. Couple of beers.

Can I say something about people who work from home, Rob? Yeah, go on. Because we went away with some friends for New Year. Yeah. And some of them, I'm not going to name names, because, you know, they were working from home. Yeah. If I was a boss, I'd be fucking livid about working from home. Really?

It's a fucking swizz, mate. Oh, yeah. I'd just check my emails every couple of hours and send a couple of emails so people think I'm still there. unbelievable. Yeah, but then isn't that just happening at the office but because you're in the office, it doesn't match as a swizz? I know, Rob.

Does it matter? No wonder this country's on its knees, Rob. You've gone so Tory since you've got an armchair. I'm wearing a Denmark shirt supporting Greenlander. Just so you know, I love your Denmark shirt. It's the reissue of the 88 euros? Is it 8? 92?

I would never vote for the Conservative Party because they're too weak on immigration for my tour. No, so I had this argument at work once. When I used to work for ASOS, I'll get back to my weekend. I used to work for ASOS. My job, I think I've told us before, was basically they'd take photos of the clothes. I'd have to go and find them in a file and basically copy and paste them and put them into the website. So I wasn't building the website, but I had a form that I basically filled in with like the 10 images.

Yeah? It's very similar to the job I had at The Guardian, actually, where I'd take the news stories and I'd put them on the website. and beg for a quid. Well, at that stage, we weren't begging for a quid because it was people bought newspapers. People bought newspapers. No, so yeah, so your job is basically a kind of don't fuck it up admin job.

Yeah, it's basically filing, but on a computer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, computer filing, yeah. Computer filing. So I, but I used to have to do, basically, you're supposed to do about like 50 a day or something. So what I'd do is I'd am a through me 50 and then spend the afternoon doing admin for comedy and stuff like that. and then she was like, my boss, it was a little bit keen.

It was like, shouldn't be doing that really. I was like, well, I've done all my things. He's saying like a couple of emails. You know, you shouldn't really do it all. I went, yeah, but I've done the work. Like what, you know, she went, you know, and then she was like, no, but I'm still doing mine. And I was like, and I went, well, so hang on,

I'm getting told off because I'm better at you than you at doing it, and I've got spare time. So you'll drag it, so you want me to drag it out all day. Well, that's the problem, isn't it, Rob. That's what I did at, you know, I don't want to, I'm sure they won't come for me to, at Dora the Explorer, I was, I reckon I was operating on two and a half to three hours work a day.

And it was just a drag out situation. Whereas at Waterstones, I'd just go for it. And then I'd just stand behind the desk and stare. Well, exactly. When I went to Markson and Spencer, you can't drag it out. You're on this hill.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. They come or they don't come. And also, you know, you don't want to drag out, putting yoghuts up, the quicker they're all out, the quicker they're all out. Exactly. If anyone had a drag it out job, let us know.

Oh, yeah. Any job, the least amount you have. to do for any... Well, I know I've told this too many times. Not the woodshed. That was a classic dragout, Rob. That was a classic dragout. Can't talk about that job anymore.

It was a drag out. The yoghuts on the trolley from the safe way to the garage. We've done that. That wasn't a drag out. That was a tough job, was it? No, but no. Well, that was a full day's work. I was a cricket steward and I had to sit at the car park.

That was a dragout. I did nothing apart from sitting on a chair and point and go park down there. Anyway, what are we talking about? We're talking about it. It gets to Saturday. It gets to Saturday. I'm surprised, but to be fair, very, very tired. Very exhausted. But I wake up about 8 in the morning.

The kids have slept quite well. My mum and dad did have the kids, but my Lou dropped them off at Nando's with my mom and dad at 7 o'clock at night. Then they stayed out till 9. Come home. And then they watched the film, had popcorn. And my mum let them play Roblox till half 10. So where are you at this point, sorry? On stage in Bromley.

Oh, sorry on the Friday. Right, right, right. So they've had a bit of late nights. We've all slept into about half, seven, eight. My children have been a bit tired this week. First week, it was like the first week back after Christmas. Absolutely fast. A bit jet lag to start the week.

Completely exhausted. It's been bitterly cold and they're a bit ill. Everyone's ill under the weather. So morale's low in the house. However, lovely little day. Lou's going away Saturday and Sunday night for a friend's 40th. Well, Lou's mum, for Christmas, got the girls' tickets to go and see ballet shoes at the national. Right.

Which is some sort of play. No idea. not a part of me yeah mother-in-law loves it kids love it lose seen it they all love it they're going with their cousin and their auntie so it's going to be lose mom you got the day to yourself yeah so listen to this what have I got to do I've got to drop the kids by the way I've got you know you get chapped lips and a bit of dry skin in the cold I played football and I wore my like little sort of leggings and a pair of shorts but I didn't wear a pair of pants I don't think my

penis was warm enough and I've got a little bit of um you've got a chill blaine on your dick I've got a chill blade on my helmet mate not the helmet the skin around it anyway so yeah that's horrible I've never had that but I've ever you know if anyone's had a chill blade on the dick let me know how you deal with it admin at lockdown parenting and dot com still don't know the email anyway hello is it oh who cares I'm loving life because this is great I'm bit tired and I've not really because I've had a busy week I'm what time are you dropping them at ballet shoes? So I've got to drop them at Luz Mums, which is 20 minutes away at half

10 in the morning. And then I said, what time do you want, what time do you want me to come and get them? And they went, don't worry. We'll probably have a bit of dinner after the show. And then we'll drop them back to you probably about half seven tonight, then you can bath them and put them to bed.

I was like, oh my God. Mick and Sareezy. Oh my God. That chill blames is not going to know what's hitting. I'll be able to put a bit of cream on with chill blains. I'll be I had to unpack my bag from holiday. And I'm going to go to the gym because I'm getting on my Gary Barla. I've got to do me 5K with Steve Kram.

I've got loads of football on. It's FAA Cup weekend. Oh my God. Anyway, so this is what a day. What a day. Yeah. Right. So I get up.

Lou's getting a rare done. My mom and dad are still over. They have a cup of tea and that. Then they go. And I go, right, girls, let's go. Now, bear in mind, the girls have been well excited about going to see ballet shoes with their nan and granddad and, you know, all that. One of them don't want to go.

don't want to go. I'm like, what? Don't go. Oh no, come on, right. I'm like, to a point like crying, having to sort of like track around the house. Is it because you're not going? One, a bit tired, one a bit under the weather.

Two, I'm not going and someone else looked after them last night. They went a bit, a bit late. Anyway, so that, crying all the way, but like distraught, Josh. So, and then the other one's fine. The oldest one's fine. She's like that and trying to cheer up a sister. We're driving. I went, look.

And can I just confirm? She had wanted to go to ballet shoes all the way. until this moment. Absolutely, and they knew that... Oh, God. It's being torn away from you. Lou's mom did get Lou a ticket, but Lou messed things up

and forgot she was going away for a friend, but the kids never knew that Lou was going. Rob's going to ballet shoes. We can all see it. I was in denial. Ladies and gentlemen,

if you're listening, Rob's going to ballet shoes. Spoiler. Spoiler. Sproiler back is going to ballet shoes. Rob Beck is going to ballet shoes instead of playing with his chill blame for seven hours.

playing with me David Blaine with his David Blaine, putting his David Blaine in a box. I wasn't going to wank a tool actually. I don't like this narrative. But you're, you're annoyed about the wired headphones and I'm just this fucking horn dog

desperate to get his kids at the house. So I don't want to have a lot of shoes. I'm not wanking any way. So I'm in the car and I say to him, look, why don't I come into Nans' house because they're having a bit of food before they go? Why not come into Nans' house? And then six,

You're done at this stage. Can I ask at this stage? Yeah. In your head are you thinking, I'm about to lose it? I'm about to lose my day here. Or you still hope. There's still hope. There's still hope.

And then we get there. And then Nan, the Nana has done hot dogs and rolls. Lovely. And so they're all having a hot dog. Do you want a hot dog? I'll have a hot dog. Fresh hot dog. Loving it, right?

So this is all right. So they're sitting there. And a cup of coffee and a hot dog. Then it gets there. And they're loving. They're playing with their cousin, laughing and joking, giggling, running around. I'll go, I'll go now, girls, burst into tears. And then I go, I'll walk to the station with you.

Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, you're like Greyfire as Bobby, aren't you? You're just like following. I walk to the station with them. Yeah. I get to a station, there's like 10 minutes to wait. Then I think, look, can you come up with me all the way to London?

I'm like, look, I can't come up. Because like, I'm not. Sorry, are you dressed for just going back and sitting on the sofa or you, could you go to lunch? Like, have you got your swallet? Have you got everything? Are you? No wallet. Yeah.

And car keys, phone and a big warm coat. And then an outfit someone would wear a film is going to go and do an outdoor 10K run. Yeah, yeah, of course. So I'm not dressed for ballet shoes. No, no, no, no. I'm dressed for David Lloyd after you've dropped the kids at the man's for a bit of exercise. And then maybe in the spa. Anyway, so, walking up, and then I get to the station and then I go, right, I'm going to

and I think, right, right, no, what I've got to do is I've just got going hard, because once I go, they'll cheer up. Yeah. And have you spoken to your mother-in-law and father-in-law and said, this could be difficult, but I reckon it'll be fine. Yeah, but normally it's like, what happens is over the years, they just go, all right then, dad, bit like, ooh, but they'll love it. And as soon as I've gone, they'll send me a photo five minutes later of them.

Yeah, the classic. Yeah, so I'm thinking, like, I don't mind a little walk to the station. Anyway, get me warmed up for me 5K with Steve Kram later. Of course, the dream. Anyway, so I get to station, I go, right, I'm going to go now, like that. And then as I go to go, the one who was upset at the start, is sort of okay with it. They out of nowhere, the eldest

gets upset. Oh my God. It's good to be popular. Can't stop crying. So I was like, they're all going to miss a train at this point. So I was like, I'll just get the train with them

and then I'll just get the train back. Because if I'll get a clear stop. I'll get off a Clapham Junction. So then I'll get down to the smartphone. I'm trying to get off. And then I'll go, right, I'll come then. And then I go up step. I'll go, right, I've got to go and tap in.

And she's like, put it on my arm going, don't go. And I'm like, I'm trying to fucking pay my fare. I'm not going. I'm trying to get back up as it's stairs. Anyway, so basically we're on the train, and then they calm down because I'm on the train. And then when I mention, like, right, we'll get to station, then I'm going to go back. They just get really upset again.

And it's because they're tired. It's because of the bit underweather. And then I feel bad now because of the granddad feel like they don't want to go, but they do want to go. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. Because it's slightly offensive for the grandparents in a way, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Like Joe Wiley.

Yeah, it's absolutely fine. It's like Joe Wiley. And then there's a lot of legs. there. I know. It's too much. They're so pale. That'll dominate the comment.

They're so big. We can change. Sorry if you're listening, but I've just put my legs up and they're really pale. He looks so uncomfortable. I'm comfy. Oh, right.

Okay, fair enough. I'm not. So anyway, we're on the train and then, like, lose mom's like, well, I can, because I'm saying to girls, I can come up to thunder,

but I'm just going to be sat on the street for two hours, right, or whatever it is. Anyway, so it works out. Is there not a David, in London, Rob. No, no, but... You could just nip to the DL,

do 10K, and then come back at the end of ballet shoes. I know. Anyway, but they desperately don't want me to go anywhere. Eventually, Lou's dad's already seen ballet shoes, and he's going again, right? Why is Lou's done? So I just say...

He went his own week before? No, he went with... Loo's mum's already been. Right. They went before, and they loved it and thought with the kids who were like it. So, anyway, I say, Mick, look, do you mind... if I have your ticket and you chilly London for a bit, because I don't think the girls, they're just,

they're not in a good head space at the moment. I've never seen a man happier. Yeah, of course. He was just like, yeah, yeah, I'll do that. Do you mind, Mick, if I have your ticket to ballet shoes, so you don't sit for it again? Yeah, so basically what happens is Mick goes around the tape modern and goes in as a little beer,

and then I end up at ballet shoes. Oh, man. It would be, do you know what the weird thing is, right? If you said to me, on Saturday I took the kids to ballet shoes, I'd go, what a lovely day. But it's because what's been snatched from your hands. And also, because it's supposed to be the nanny and granddad, fun day out, then I feel bad that I'm on.

How was ballet shoes? Couldn't tell you. In your PE kit. Did you fall asleep? I slept for the entire first. I tell you something about ballet shoes. Two hours, 40 minutes. What the fuck is it with theatre people?

Not knocking out three of them in a day. I tell you what? 10 a.m. 1 p.m. and 10 p.m. What is? Why is it all so long? And also, all the people are so old. They haven't got long left. It's all old, but they haven't got long left. What is ballet shoes?

To be fair, to ballet shoes, I slept through the first half because I was exhausted. I'd already done 14 hours in a theatre. Didn't need another three hours a day after. Oh, man. It was brilliant. If you're... No, no, I don't.

I don't think anyone involved in ballet shoes is thinking, Rob Beckett's our man for this. I saw no one that was like me there. It was, I felt like a unicorn. Well, you were the only one in, in jogging leggings. Well, no, actually, Posey wore a pair of jogging leggings for a dance lesson in the show. Posey Fossel.

But the show is amazing. If you're into that sort of thing, the show's amazing. All the set changes are amazing. It's really funny, really good. Did you feel good when you woke up? Well, no, because the girls kept poking me and laughing, right? And then this woman in front of you,

front, right, kept on, my daughter had some light sweets. No, I won't snorting. But my daughter had some sweets and she couldn't have eaten them any quieter, right? Yeah. It's not my fault. There was no laughs for about 20 minutes in a serious bit. She was eating some minstrels and she kept on turning around and looking at, like, staring out my nine-year-old, a 10-year-old.

So I thought, fuck this. So next time she turned around, I, like, move my head right in front of her and just stared at her until she looked back the other way. So I thought, like, she's having a minors. But, mate, if you don't want to wear a kid eat sweets, don't come to the fucking matinee on a Saturday. All sort of ballet shoes. It's about kids.

Yeah, it's about kids. Anyway, so it is an amazing show if you're into that. For me, I could have done with a bit of a meantime time. I don't think you can say that, Rob. I don't think you've seen enough to offer a view either way. I think that's okay. But you like the second half. Fair enough.

Fair enough. I couldn't comment on the first half because I wasn't conscious. Then where are you? So then we go and have a pizza express. Lovely, lovely, lovely. Then we get the train home, get home about 8 o'clock at night. put the kids to sleep, then I'd crash out. Yeah.

Now, the next day, I'd have promised the kids we were going to go to blue water to see Zootopia, Zootropolis 2, go to Slim Chickens, spend some vouchers. Fucking how wrong. It's basically another theatre experience in cinema. No, but this is what I did. Just theater on a screen. Tell me what, tell me. You've spent so many hours in auditoriums, isn't that?

72 hours. I've been kidnapped by the arts. No, so I said to him, I said, look, I went to them, girls, I'm really tired of it. Because, like, you're not in trouble. You're not in trouble. You've not been naughty, but you really didn't want me to leave you on Saturday, which meant it sort of disrupted my whole weekend because all the tidying up, the sorting out, the house stuff that I was supposed to be doing on Saturday.

I've got to do on Sunday now. So this isn't a punishment, but the consequence of that is, we're not going to go blue water now because I haven't got the energy. or time to do it. So we can have a quiet, chill day indoors. What time did you get to blue water? We didn't do blue water.

I did take them to slim chickens in Bromley at six o'clock and gave them an Oreo milkshake. So then bedtime was a fucking disaster because they're off their head. I might as well give me a line of Coke. If I had an Oreo milkshake, it'd be four days before I came down. So loose, like, loose.

Anyway, so I'm tired this morning because I'll get him to bed, right? Yeah. We go to bed. Now, my daughter, my older's daughter's been a bit unwell, so she comes in... Can I ask about slim chickens?

Sorry. Yeah, go on. Because I went in there because my son needed the toilet on Saturday. It's literally next to Nando's an extra slim chickens. What's the... I didn't know,

I didn't know Slim chickens was a chain. What is a slim chickens? Is it more of a KFC or is it more of Anandos? It's more of a KFC than Anandos. You wouldn't really go there for like a date.

You're sort of like, expensive takeaway. Yeah. I mean, it's more like KFC. So like they do tenders, they do chicken wings, they do chips,

they do loads of different dips. Yeah, they're quite keen on the dip. Yeah, I like that. It's quite seasoned. It's quite nice to be fair. The chicken tenders

and the fries were quite nice. I'd some. Yeah. Anyway, so we do that. We go home and then I got, we get them to bed, a bit late at normal,

about half eight, nine. Yeah. And at one o'clock in the morning, my, About half 12, my eldest comes in and goes, Dad, can have a cuddle, I don't feel well. I'll give her a cuddle. And I go, do you want to get into bed with me?

She went, no, I'm going to go back into my own bed. She wanted a hug. Okay, I'll have a hug. She went back to bed. Then half one, my youngest woke up at a nightmare. I went, do you want to get in bed to me? She went, yeah, get in bed with me. I thought, fine.

Half on getting bed with me. And then about half two, I hear crying in the hallway. My eldest is up. I went, what's wrong? She went, I'm just really, I can't sleep. I don't feel well, and I just felt a bit upset. I went, fine, I went, I went, I went, I went, to the job was getting to bed with her, right? So I get into bed

with her, right? So I get into bed of her, and then I'm trying to go to sleep. Then the youngest comes in, and it goes, I'm scared. To the, to the oldest's room? Yeah, I went, she went, I'm scared because I've had a nightmare. I was like, yeah, I know, but your sister don't feel well, so I'm sitting with her for me. Everyone in the double. Everyone in the double. That's what I said, she'll get to double, and then,

the eldest one's opposite, I don't want to, I don't want to. And then like, no, because we, because we know, because we know, normally, I normally always, the youngest has more nightmare. So she normally dick takes her, it's a bit unfair on the oldest. Totally. Her, so, I say, go. It's so difficult. Yeah, when you're on your own.

Because. I'm telling different different directions and you're on your own. It's so difficult. You've basically got to choose. And especially because, you know, all kids are a slightly more demanding, not in a bad way, but like need more from you in certain situations. Yeah, of course. The one kid that never normally is demanding now, I don't feel like she'd be punished

because normally she's been all right. So I say, look, to the youngest, when you don't need to go to sleep. If you're scared, sit up and read, and you can wait, hoping she'd go to sleep. Anyway, so the eldest doesn't really want to go to sleep at half three. I get up, check her the youngest, wide awake. So I get her, take her back to my room. She goes to sleep off about an hour. Now it's half four.

I'm wide awake. Is this last night? Yeah. So I saw, have texted me, Rob. Was you awake? Who was you doing? Yeah, I was up? What was you about to?

Not as bad. So we all went to bed And you're all sleeping in your bedroom, aren't you? Of course. Did you tell you that that's right? Also, that's not changing because now, this week, Rob, we're having all the other bedrooms they're starting to be redone. So your bedroom is the only room that's not getting done, so you're all in there.

Well, not at the moment, but there's very ill point in trying to force it back for three days. Yeah, he tells himself. so get this Rob Rose is going away Wednesday to Friday yeah and I said to her this morning and I was like

I can't believe this is my life I was like so what will the sleeping arrangements be my son in the double bed and then still me and my daughter on the floor or will I graduate to the double bed with my son but then you'll feel bad

for the one on the floor so it'll probably be my son having the whole double bed and us two on the floor Not your daughter want to get in the double bed. Not with her brother. She'd be like, oh, he moves around too much. That's why they have to be, can't be next to each other.

Right. Anyway, Rob, last night. So we'll go through my week because it's fucking mental. If we don't have a chance to do it in this episode, I'll do it the next episode because my week is insane, similarly manic, right? But last night, I took her to bed at half eight. Rose got in bed because Rose has been ill. So everyone was going to sleep.

I was like, I'll just read my book with a little light on. Yeah. Why don't you get a Kindle? I should get a Kindle. She should lose got one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I need to do. Buy some more fucking tech that I'll need to charge.

And then you're trying to finish a book on 1%. That is so precious. A book about a self-help book, 1% panicking. Come on, I need to get this truth about my stuff. I just need to help myself. Then I do. So I do. She's like, can you cuddle me to sleep?

Next thing I know. No, my daughter. Oh my God. I wish. Probably getting elbowed off like a, what is it? A strike a for a goal fucking elbow. No, so.

My daughter said hold my hand last night. I held it around three seconds. It was like, oh, that's like holding a bit of fucking barbecue coal. So, oh. So basically means me, put my arm over the top of her, like I'm kind of, like, just some bit of weight on her. She's out. Next thing I know, I'll wake up is midnight because I've fallen asleep.

I'm at half eight. And then I fall back to sleep. And then at half three, I wake up and I'm like, I've had seven hours sleep. You've jet lagged yourself. I've jet lagged myself. So you've been up since four? No, I was kind of, I just put podcasts on and, like, drifted in and out for three hours. You know, that's what I did.

Is it? Fuck it out. What a life. I broke up to Comedians, Comedians, Stuart Golds were asking Mark Simmons if he was happy or not. Do you know, but when you wake up and you're like, oh, it's the next one. Oh, I've done a bit of sleep. Well done. I do that.

I listen to, I've got a sleep playlist, right? And then what I do is I put that on. And then when I wake up, I look at it and it's still playing the songs. Then what I do is I go back and count how many songs that I don't remember until I get to a song I remember. until I get to a song I remember and go, oh, 43 minutes. Yeah, oh God, what a life. What a life. Anyway, we were meant to start a nine.

We've started late because you had an also had a nightmare morning. That's not a slight. That's just for the reader, for the listener, sorry, or viewer, giving you a chance to imagine what's about to happen now. Well, yeah, so, yeah, so to be fair, I got about our four, she went back to sleep, and then I was sort of couldn't really sleep for about an hour or so, fell asleep about six and then I woke up at quarter to seven to have a shower and get ready. I was like, I let the kids sleep in for a little bit.

And I went downstairs, got everything ready, got the dogs fed, all the food out, all the finished packing the bags. Llew had set out a lot of it, to be fair. And Llew had set out the uniform they needed. And then I'd put the uniform outside their bedroom door. And then my youngest wakes up and goes, where's my uniform? I was like, it's all the way down the landing. I was like, yeah, I put it outside the room, you're in a fucking sleeping.

you moved bed three times how the fuck I'm supposed to keep up and they were kept going I'm so tired and I was like I was like I've had less sleep than you and then we dropped on the school run and then everything like there was traffic there's never normally traffic so I was late dropping them off basically and there's so many bags and they had swimming and all that and then I run Lou and like because Lou went oh how did it go

and I was like I run when I was really I felt bad because I didn't want to make it feel guilty or bad at all but I was basically said what happened and then I was like oh then I've got to go to the fucking podcast now and I'm tired and I'm because you're saying my insecurities are going

you're too tired now to be funny or do a good job it's all going to be shit and you're like and then that's when your sort of negative voice can come in so I was like and then I text her back

and I've had a time to eat a coffee now I feel a bit chipper so sorry I didn't want to make you feel bad while you were away but I because she's got a email the school about something for the kids

if the school said that they seemed a bit off today I just wanted to let you know that they were awake for like two hours in the night so that you don't think they're upset. They're not upset. They're just probably a bit tired. Yeah. Anyway, so.

So now I'm here and I had a, I went to the wild bean cafe and bought myself a bacon and cheese turnover. And then you sent me a photo of Gary Barlow ripped and it absolutely ruined me. Do you know what? You didn't respond with the humor I imagined you were going to respond. It absolutely cut the legs away. and I'm supposed to be going to do Steve Crams fit to 5K after this, but I'm probably too tired and won't do it and get some more food.

And you know what? I've got this like the Apple Watch thing, right? And it's got that little geyser that's, and it's good actually. It goes, if you run a K, it goes, you've run 1K, keep going, mate. And that is good. But when I've run 1K, I don't really need boosted. I've sort of done that myself. What I need, and I don't know if it will be too invasive is the little AI workout bloat to go,

don't eat that turnover, your fat prick. You regret it. That's when I need it. You know what? I think there would be quite a lot of complaints. Yes, but I think that would help me more than the 1K. I'm already patting myself in the back. I need...

Yeah. Stop. Well, I had a dark night of the soul with chat GPT, actually. I'll tell you about my week next time, Rob, because it was quite a mental week. So I get a thing now, yeah, because I'm on antidepressants, but I'm on 10 milligrams, which isn't that much. I was on 20, but I'm on 10. And I don't know, it's a thing. It's totally fine.

Apart from, after a period of extreme stress or exhaustion, I go back to the original side effect. It's like they're fighting, they're having to fight again or something. Do you know what I mean? It's about how across your mental health you are with like breathing, exercise, maybe medication, whatever your coping mechanisms are to make sure that you're calmer and enjoying life, exhaustion and tiredness will always make those symptoms 10 times.

If you've got a bad knee and you just walk gently everywhere, if you go for a 10K run, you're going to feel it. So not like rinsing yourself. So last week I rinsed myself. This morning I felt like I get this kind of weird, I feel like trippy with it. And it's how I used to feel when I first started or whatever. I get that about every six months and I go, fucking hell last week was mental. So I'll tell you about that next time.

I should say, because I forgot. to say this last time and my daughter's been on at me. Okay. Does she listen? No, but she's now, she's now across the podcast exists. Yes, mine was quite keen to listen, but... Yeah, she's not keen to listen,

but she's invented a Squishmallow's app. And she's like, could you just mention my Squishmallows app and see if anyone's willing to make the Squishmallows app? And I'm like, it's not... It doesn't quite... What's the idea? Well, she's just designed a Squishmallows app.

Yeah, but that's not enough detail. Oh, she's drawn all the home screen and everything. No, no, I don't, yeah, but I don't know what's the app. Oh, wow, she actually has drawn it. But I don't know what it means. I'm not having to go at her idea, but what does it, what is the app? Well, you can do settings. That's the first thing.

You can do games. You can make your own Squishmallow. You can feed the Squishmallow. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, you can see. Could you look all the ones you've bought and got? Yeah, you can log all the ones you've bought. There's a one that called Globe.

I don't know what that is. And then she's got each screen in devourable. individually that you click on. She's done this mad job on it. But she was like... I think it's amazing. I know. And she was like,

do you think someone who listened to your podcast would develop the app? And I was like, well, it doesn't really work like that because I didn't want to say, I think Squish Malo's is probably a trademark.

Yeah, she might have hit some copyright infringement laws. Yeah, she might hit some copyright. Squish Malo want to launch an app with you and your daughter. I didn't want to say to her, but I didn't want to check. My call get 10% each.

Yeah. I've going to check it now. I've got a terrible feeling that's bound to be a squishmallow. app, isn't there. Josh, just show it to her and tell her someone made it. What? Show her the actual squishbook.

She's not, it won't, she'll be like they haven't followed my design. That's the story of my life, mate. But now we're in this situation where she knows the podcast exists for the first, now she always knew it existed, but she's interested in what it is. Do you know what I mean? And she's like, are you doing parenting how to get a day rather than are you doing, are you working? Do you know what I mean? And it's quite an interesting situation. I think for the first time she's interested in what I'm doing as a job.

Well, they're old enough now as well for the title of the podcast to be parenting hell implies that it's an absolute nightmare that we hate doing it, which is not an ideal title. I did worry about this for the last five years when I've been losing sleep over it. Yeah, but I think the bulls has bolted now. Very much has because there's nothing we could do at this point. As long as we are calm, patient and understanding whenever they need help, they'll believe the truth of the situation and not the brand name. Exactly, exactly.

Yeah, exactly. And also, they're not going to remember lockdown, but it was really tough. By the way, Rob, I've decided the parents I hate the most. Yeah. Right? It's a thing I've noticed parents do, right? Also, the thing you hate the most in parents. It's the thing.

I just know the parents. No, no, no, I don't hate any parents. You know, parents who constantly tell you that their child was born in July or August so they're the youngest in the year. As if their child's like a hero for being, for putting up with being the youngest in the year. Do you have these parents? Yeah, my mom, my mom used to do it all the time, my brother Joe. Yeah, well, he's the youngest in the year.

But, you know, the young, he is the youngest. It's like a fucking year, mate. we're all seven or eight here and then you get the ones that put them down a year so that they get oldest in the year that's cheating. I do think that it's very understandable when they first start school

when they get to 15 Yeah, exactly. I think it's time to knock that. I think secondary school you knock that on the head. Yeah, the reason he didn't get his promotional work He was born in July. Yeah, or if you're that bothered about it, stop shagging.

Yeah, you're the one who's... Take a month off. You're the one who loves fucking in October. You dirty Halloween hornedogs. You're the one who's turned on by fireworks. Oh, cobwebs out, knickers down. Let's go. Pop that mask on.

Send me back to the Witches Cave. Do they live in Cave's witches? I don't know where they live actually witches, but there we go. It's all just float about on the broomstick, don't they? Oh, this is what we've done, Rob, as well. Go on. We've converted in the morning to Radio One. So we've converted to Greg James on Radio One.

Okay. From where were you? Grimmie on six, which is what me and Rose would listen to. That's mental for the kids. Yeah, and so, and this morning. What about capital? I like capital. Do you get it down there?

Are you taking the fucking piss? No, it's a London show. You've got a slim chickens, mate. No, but he's in Capital London. No, it's national now. Oh, because they did, because they've got a Scottish one, haven't they? Capital, Scotland. I think, because it's a national station.

That wasn't me having a go. No, I know, I know, no. It originally was London, but the money, thrown at it. On DAB, yeah. Yeah, it's national. It's national. Yeah. You're listening to it on DAB though, aren't you? I'm listening to it on DAB, yeah. Not FM. No, no. But yeah, we were like, we're going to do Radio 1 or Capital. Put on Greg James this morning. Fucking hell it was good. He's great. He's very good at radio.

We had Deer Leaper, Ray, and Charlie XX. I was like, this is brilliant. And then... Have you ever heard the news? No, no, music. And then have you ever heard the news on Radio? one. Is it more fun? Fucking Al, it's like jazz. It's unbelievable. What do you mean? They're just like, they'll just say one thing,

and then they'll just play a clip, and then they'll be like, it was the Golden Globes last night. This guy won an award, and then they'll just play some Timothy Shalabay. Let's go to the Moss Road in McElwif. Guess who bloody beat fucking the league club. These guys, womf, big sound effects.

Whomph. It's great. It's fun, isn't it? It's so good. You're like, this is the news. And she likes sound effects. It's like unbelievable. If your daughter liked sound effects on the radio,

I tell you who she liked in Westwood. I'm sitting on a list. Da-na-na-na-na-da-choo-oh. So there's not sound effects, but there's like loads of like sound. And I'm like, how's this newsreader doing it? It's like he's playing in stuff all the time. Well, my daughter watches news round at school, which I find weird. Lee-Zer Mizimba?

I don't think it's Lizo still, is it? I don't know. But like, she used to, her old school, she'd go, we were watching news round. I'd be thinking, bloody out, really? And then at the news school, she's like, we're watching news round. Do all schools watch news round?

Or is it just once we go to? Yeah, so she's across stuff from news round. Well, you have moved back to the 1990s, though, in Exeter. Do you know what I mean? You'll be on news round. Blue Peter's still going. You're right. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. She loves by the show everywhere. We've just heard about these things. called apps. We've got a design. They're coming out next year down here. See, I was going to say the, I think Radio 2, because we both worked at Radio 2,

I think Radio 2 news is too depressing. Well, because it comes out of nowhere. I get it if you put the news on, but you forget the news is on the radio, and it's like you've got a little bit of wanchun. You want to get on Radio 1. You want to get on Radio 1. They're basically like,

here comes storm, whatever it's called, and then the lower, what? Is there a smash in there? Greg James going, whoa, it's blowing a wind in here. It's brilliant. I love the news on Radio One.

We normally just listen to music. Greg James was charming. He was good. I'm going to give Clapper all I go as well. But crucially, no ads, is there on Radio One? Oh, true. I'd say we had a very somber, miserable, self-indulgence, sad school run today.

Everyone just sat there in complete silence. in forward. Yeah. That is the one thing, though, I miss my school run from London is being able to listen to music with my kids.

That is the great. I love the chat in the car. When the vibes high, the school runs fun in the car. In the summer, January just needs to fuck off. It is really pissing me off at the moment, January.

And the fact that, I think I say this every year, trying to do a New Year's resolution in January is sick in the fucking head. Wait until March. It's too cold. You can't even go outside for a fucking run about slipping over and breaking your neck.

It's mental. Last week I tried to run in the ice and I had to just stop. Yeah, it's stupid. It's stupid. And it's cold. You're hungry. You want warm food.

It's dark really early. The whole country needs to shift New Year's resolutions to March. Yes. Because it's not working, Josh. It's not working in January. Or New Year's resolutions don't work because you're never going to change

based on one thing like that, Rob. No, but I think you might, if you've got an opportunity. You're not, the spring is the time for new. Do you want a bleak image of me running? Yeah, take it up off and jog now. We've got cameras. We've got, so we've got a, um, trade mill, right?

In your house? Well, no, because we haven't, it's in the garage, right? What's that? I'm doing with a marble coffee shop, coffee shops, the marble coffee table. They're still in the garden. Yeah. Are they, for the garden? No.

This is why I like doing this. Because whatever way my life's fucking going to scoom with, yours is going another way. Right. And then we sort of even each other out. The next episode, right, is going to make you feel so good. Go and make yourself a lovely coffee, right? Yeah.

And then come back next Tuesday. Okay. And have an absolutely brilliant time. Because we do have to, you know, with our diaries and what's that with the kids, We have to record a cup in a row sometimes to put out. We'd love to do one like every week, so it's exactly on point. But if we did do that and stretch ourselves any thinner, it would be an hour of both of us crying.

So we've got to try and make it as doable as possible. And some people did say, why are you still doing the ones where you catch up from home? And I'd say, look at Rob's morning this morning. This is why we do them from home. Anyway, we've got a treadmill, right? Our garage is full of stuff, yeah? Like not usable garage. It's just like a toy.

No, it's just a full of stuff with a treadmill at the front behind some stuff. But you have to open the garage door. Yeah. And then I'm on a treadmill in a garage full of stuff, facing out onto the street. Which is nice because you're getting a bit of fresh air, but not if random people are walking past. Every time people walk past, I'm just pounding away on a treadmill in basically a big yellow storage style room. So, you know, it's always bad. Life's always bad.

I don't remember that. Maybe I need to get a treadmill. I haven't really got a space for a treadmill. No, you don't get a treadmill. You don't, no. Should we do? What do you know, like your treadmill? I don't mind my treadmill.

It's better for the knees. Than outside? Yeah, but, you know. Right, should we do a small business shout out? Should we do a small business show? I'm looking forward to hearing about your week on this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can look forward to it a lot.

I'm glad we did a lot of parenting this week because I should say next week I did spend three days away so there is a lot of London disasters going on. Hey, this is just our life. How mental is it having kids that like the highlight of my week was not talking about going on the Graham Norton show?

I know. Tell me about the Graham Norton show. Chris Pratt was on again, already done it with him. So he's a nice guy and funny, but part of me was like, come on, mate. When do I get out of Pagena? I had Tina Faye. That was quite exciting. I had Kurt Russell. But I've never had.

had someone like mega mega do you know what i mean i've never had a taylor swift or someone you are i'd have to take the kids if it's taylor swift i know i dream of that that was all good um i don't think cynthia erivo is a massive fan of me being a comedian no well no because like my job there is to interject and say funny things but she's very um passionate intense and committed to the art of being an artist and a creator where I'm literally on there to interject at any point to try and get a laugh. I totally agree. I'm like, I don't even want to interject here, but it's my job to.

You've given Graham Norton a massive cardigan with holes in. I'm a comedian. I'm going to say, I'm sure it'll be lovely when it's finished. I'm sorry. What happened? I don't, I don't. She gave Graham Norton and she was lovely, Cynthia, but I don't think, you know, in an ideal world, I think all the actors would prefer it if there was a lot of.

no comedian there. Yeah. But all the viewers, I think, quite encouraged that. Yeah. Yeah. She had a holy jumper that's from Wicked 2 that she wears, and she got one made for Graham Norton. Right, yeah.

Loads of holes in it. And I said, it'll be lovely when he's finished. Yeah, of course. And also, when she was giving it to him. You're doing your fucking job. In the same way, 50 pictures on the ASOS website. Yeah. I may do a job.

I may do a job when she entered the parcel. So of course I'm going to say it's from all of us. I'm here doing dad jokes. Exactly. Anyway, they're all lovely. I heard Dawn French and Chris Pratt lovely. But I always feel like when they're talking about this like, she's doing this theatre play where she's like playing 23 parts.

As she's playing Dracula. Chris Pratt's in this movie where it's about AI and shot in a mad way that's on at the IMAX. Dawn French is in this brand new sitcom that's about Parkinson that's written by the child of her writer that wrote Vickokker. a dibble and oh, I'm there talking about doing Bob Stacey with Ramesh. You know, it's my job to chip in. I'll do a joke. I did a joke about blow jobs at the end.

Jack Severity like that, though. But that's all right. It's good though. Everyone's nice. But it's like a singer. Right, right, right, right. It's fun. I always love doing it.

You know, because I've got shipping. I do feel like I worry that the actors are like, oh, him again. You're like, sorry, it's just my job. I'm sure I've told you about the time I got booked at 2pm on the day. Really? Who pulled out? You're going to love it, Rob. Go on. Quentin Tarantino. Tarantino pulled out and you got pulled in. Well, I'm not like for like. I'd love to see the list of names that said no at that point, Rob.

Let's say, Alan Shearer got injured, a Newcastle by Mark Bosnitch. I was on with the rest of the cast of Tarantino's film who had agreed to carry on. Oh, who was that? Kurt Russell. It was, um, what's that one, the kind of westerny one? hateful. So could I say one more thing about Graham Norton? I don't have to show it on the TV show. But when everyone comes out, you're already stood with them all out the back. And then Graham introduces you out. And then they normally get the comedian out first and stick them at the end. And then you have to stand while they all come out. And then like, so I don't know whether to sit down or stand up. So I sit down. And obviously you have to be polite and stand up and they come over. And you have to make that decision. And you have to sort of kiss them or hold their hand. But you don't want to kiss them and ruin makeup. So you have to do like a weird air kiss. And you sit down. And then when the singer comes over, same thing happens where they come over.

we're all sat down, so you have to stand up again, but then it's like, I'm the comedian, the comedian has to make the decision where they stand up or sit down. Yes, yes. And I never really know what to do. I have a similar thing with last leg, because me and Alex are on the opposite side. Yeah. So when the guests come on, who obviously we've seen and been talking to, yes.

We just stand up and kind of applaud, but do we go over? Do you know what I mean? You don't, you're too far to go over. You're too far to go over. You can't start in moving about. Fuck sake, poor sod. Right. Right, small business.

On the subject of Kurt Russell, he's married to Goldie Horn. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. This is for, wait for it. My partner's sister that hasn't long come back from having a baby and started her own dog grooming business from home. She previously worked another groomer but has taken the leap of setting up on her own. She's Midlands-based near swaddling coat. Isn't that what you put on a dog when you've groomed that clothing cart?

Come on. Come on. Yes, please. Let's end the pod there. And it's my truck. Two adorable dogs of herself. Please shout out Goldie Grooms. Goldie Horn.

Can be found on Facebook. Goldie Grooms. Thank you from Connor. Lovely. Go on, Connor. Go on Goldie Grooms. Hi, Rob and Josh. Please, can I get a shout out

for my gym wear brand from Worcestershire? Hello. You can wear its ballet shoes. I love the pod as a mum of two under four. I have listened since Day Dot. Thank you for the laughs. It makes me feel far less of a parenting failure. I'm a yoga teacher and after my first baby,

I experienced severe postpartum depression. My body felt completely different, heavier, sore and my knees hurt every time I knelt in yoga. So I tried many different gym leggings but couldn't find anything that actually felt good on my body and supported my knees. So I grabbed my sewing kit and my gym wear and started stitching bra pads into my leggings.

Wow. I could do with a bra pad in me gusset to stop chillblane dick. Can you get working on that, please, Hannah? Fast-sworn a few years and I've created the UK's first. Because basically I've got these leggings. These leg, I've got these like under, like sort of long john leggings. Are you wearing pants underneath them?

No, so I've got long john leggings, no pants. And then a pair of shorts that have got the inner lining, like swimming trunks, but not swimming trunks, sport ones, running ones that go over. But then sometimes when I'm running, my will sort of worm its way out of the hole. So then it's just... This was your small business shout out you've been waiting for for months.

So there's only a thin bit of like Jim short Between my penis and minus one And because I'm hot I don't realise that's getting cold Because that won't get hot Yeah of course Sorry. Sorry, Hannah Are we still in the middle of her business showhouse?

Yeah, yeah She's just sewn bra pads into her leggings Yeah Fast forward a few years And I've created the UK's first knee padded leggings Skulping, Discreet and as cushioned as kneeling on three yoga mats No bar pads needed.

The brand has had amazing reviews. I'm so proud. It's helped women feel comfortable getting back into movement. I think I've ruined all her good work talking about my penis. No, because you've really drawn attention to a small business shout-out. Goldie Grooms could have done with me doing 30 seconds about my dick halfway through. Do you groom your penis? No, I don't groom it.

You don't ever trim? We've discussed this. Michael's currently going mental because he's going, I've got to fucking edit this for video. and we've overshot and every 10 minutes is eight hours of my life or something like that. Well, you know what? Boo-woo. That's his fucking job. Sorry.

Fast forward a few years. I've created the UK's first knee-padded leggings, sculpting discreet and as cushioned as kneeling on three yoga mats. No bra pads needed. The brand has had an amazing reviews and I'm so proud it's helped women feel comfortable getting back into movement. The website is padatatrib.com or Instagram pad a tribe. that is P-A-D-A-T-R-I-B-E. Keep being sexy and relatable. Thanks, Hannah.

Kiss, kiss, kiss. Josh, see you next week. Michael, sorry for over-running. Bye. Excuse me, can I clear something up? And Michael, can you put this into the podcast tomorrow? I've just Googled what Chillblains is, and I do not have Chillblains on my penis.

Thank you very much. I've just got a little bit of dry skin from the cold weather. So let's get that clear, okay? Because I've just Googled Chillblains, and it's disgusting. It's not on my knob. Thank you. Hello, parenting hell listeners.

Recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Widdickham here. I have got a new podcast, Josh Widdickham's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it. I'm about 85% sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now,

you don't hate me, and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer podcast. to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics.

See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I first. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghost Watch convinced BBC viewers, ghosts were real. when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Ban musical with music from You Too, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch,

and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are, and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history.

Stiff next will learn, loose next will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whitacom, available everywhere from the 1st of January.