Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S13 EP14: Do I Love You?

Episode Date: September 4, 2026

More adventures in parenting (and life) from Rob and Josh... In this episode we get through some of your brilliant emails as Josh has had a really bad week and some sad news :( ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Parenting Hell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025.

Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac for the Cadillac definition of luxury. This episode is presented by Tui. You've got to love a family holiday, Josh.

Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob? But do you know what the problem with holidays is? You don't get enough of them. That's the problem. Exactly. So you need to make the most of your holiday, which is why Tui gives you more.

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and some of their brilliant partners and plenty of chances to win amazing prizes. Love it. Get more from your holiday book now and discover the Tuwee smiles reward club at tui.co.uk. Atoll and Abta protected. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with...

Ronnie, can you say, Rob? Well, Beckett. Make it. And can you say Josh? No. Whitakum. Wicke. Well done.

Go on, Ronnie. Ronnie, great name. This is my nephew Ronnie, age two, saying your names on a recent holiday to Miorca. I'm also mum, myself to Florence 7 and Arthur 3. My son, Arthur, has a speech disorder. I hope one day he'll be able to say the intro. But until that day, Ronnie will do.

Oh, that's nice. Do you know what, Grace, you can have... I was going to say fast track. I don't know how. I can't help you on that, actually. Hey, well, look, I'm sure he'll be absolutely fine to do it at some point. I had speech disorder, disordered, did you say? Is that the right word?

Yep. And had speech therapy, and now I speak for a living. Too much. Thank you for all the laughed. And keeping me company on my early and late commutes to Heathrow while I work for Rob's favourite airline. All the best grace from Fleet in Hampshire. You want mine?

Very good. Well, not great, Rob. but we're going to do an emails episode. A correspondence? Correspondence episode. Because I can't quite take on talking about the present at this moment. Okay. You've dropped a bit of a sort of,

you've made people be more interested about what you're up to. Well, no, actually, last episode. Or do you want to mention it slightly? Yeah, I mentioned it slightly. Last episode, I was in a dark place. Then I was in a great place. Do you remember the last episode? I started in quite a bad mood, Rob.

Yes, you weren't very... Probably the worst mood I've ever been on parenting hell. Yeah, I'd say it was very... It wasn't for me. No, it was quite a shock. It felt a bit like you'd caught me and Rose having an affair. And then gone through with the podcast. Yeah, because the, you know, contraction obligations.

I've got to deal with Spotify. At the end of the day, I'm a professional. But now you just obviously were having a bit of a low moment, as we all do. And it's doubly annoying because Rose is going to get... half of this from our divorce and she'll get half of the half that you get from your divorce when you get together with Rose. So Rose is sitting three quarters of this money of this contract. She's going to be the only one on a hole. She's going to be the only one on a hole, apart from Lou, who I'm now going to try and chat up.

Oh, how long until that was all fine? Do you know what I mean? There'll probably be a couple of years of it being a bit rocky, but then it. It would be weird when people are like, I missed a few episodes. Now Josh is talking about Lou and Rob's talking. talking about my hose. What would it do kids' kids wise? We probably just like have a kid each. Yeah.

Like, I'd have one of yours, you have one of mine. We don't use their names anyway, so it wouldn't affect people. As long as you kept the boy, I'm fine. Yeah, exactly, yeah. We'll just swap one of the girls. Sort of the eight-year-olds. Done. Deal.

Done. See, look about it. No need for family cult. My eight-year-old, by which I mean, the one that's not mine. But is your new wives? How's mine getting on? Yours is all right. Like my one's an art there.

That's mine. So I actually had a two-hour nap after that. It turns out I was incredibly tired. Yes, just a bit exhausted. But you're right now. Well, I was. I was in a great place. I just don't want to go into it.

Fair enough. But we've had some more pet drama, and it's too grim. To go into. I'll deal with it next episode, but we're in the middle of it. We'll deal with it whenever you want to deal with it. There's plenty of other stuff we could talk about.

At the end of the day, this is a bit of fun. Just to repeat. If it gets too much. The fish are fine. And I actually walked in to feed the fish yesterday. And I thought, you fucking... Why couldn't it be you? I can't be it.

Just for once. How are you still going? How old does a fucking fish live? Do I love you, the fish? Now who's the heart? heartless pet owner. I like you and I feel annoyed if people don't feed you, but I won't be thinking. Well, it must be people out there that love their, really love their fish.

Yeah. I think I could get into a coir carp. Do you want to have a little mouth that, blah, blah, but, you know, if you got me in a pond, they look like a bit of, I feel like I could form a connection with a gold, I'm always going to struggle with a goldfish. Like a load of tropical. That might be fun. No, I know.

I think it needs to be like one or two sort of like unique ones. Like if you had like a little puff of fish thing, you'd be like, oh yeah, like give him a name and you'd be sad if he or she died. Yeah. But I think, you know, seven orange ones just bobbing a bear. It's been a tough end of the holiday. But I, so we're going to put a pin in the fish. I know, we're going to put a pin in the bleak news. And let's do a bit of correspondence.

And also we're going to put a pin in the Lou. We're just going to come back to all that stuff. The Lou voice note is coming. we're just going to do correspondence for this episode. Yeah, and we're not actually shagging each other's wives. Oh. You do correspondence? Let's do correspondence, Rob.

So let's do correspondence. Right, Rob and Josh, I've been having the same issue of Salish and Jordan Mata, but I've recently found that you can block certain TV shows from showing up in your daughter's profile under parental controls, and it will never show up again on Netflix. Thank you, Julia from Pangbo. Hangborn. There you go. That's good.

We've been doing them like family YouTube watches where we try and find creators that are suitable. There's a guy called hang time. He's quite funny and silly and the kids love it. But it's fairly sort of all right. It's not like a weird screaming fake video, weird 50-year-old dad getting his daughter to do videos. Anyway, so yeah, if you've got any other recommendations of YouTubers that are not rude or weird, or feels a bit dodged, let us know, because then we can give out recommendations.

If you're interested in that, right, I read the new book by John Ronson that's about kind of men in this day and age, right? It's fascinating. There's an incredible chapter about his relationship with Graham Linnaham, but there is a chapter about this guy who makes he's a single father of two,

and he starts putting videos up on YouTube of him and his kids just for people he knows. And then one of them gets a load of hits, and he kind of chases the algorithm. And he becomes so successful that YouTube give him, he's getting 500 million hits on videos. Right.

And YouTube give him an expert that he's allowed to call for help and all these kinds. Like he's just a mega creator. And he ends up doing this thing, which is like, because you can't do the same thing more than three times, you have to be changing your ideas, up in the ante, up in the ante, up in the ante, and he ends up doing this thing called bad babies, which is him and his two kids, all dressed as babies,

having food fights and stuff. And it basically ends up ruining his life. It's so fascinating. Really? What was the creator called? I can't remember what he's called. Which is, but he just chases to get more and more hits and more and more hits. And to the point where some of the things you're like, and then it becomes, the reason it ruins his life is because on YouTube kids,

it's accessible content. But people come to his later stuff way before the earlier stuff. So it just looks like he's this insane guy who's a terrible father who's doing these videos with his kids because they haven't witnessed this kind of creeping journey. It's such Frankenstein's monster. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that works.

Babies work. Oh, food fights work. Let's do both. And it's like horrible piecing together of analytics and data to create monsters. The title is like babies, mega food fight hell. Do you know what I mean? Like all these.

Parenting hell. Yeah. Parenting hell. All these words that people search all the time. And but it's wild, right? It's a wild story. And he becomes one of the things. There's this thing called, I think, Elsagate,

which is these. this kind of public outcry at the videos that people are getting served on YouTube. Yeah. On kids' YouTube. And he becomes one of the faces of it. And he makes fuck loads of money, but it ruins his life. And he can barely now. He's living just a, he just doesn't I leave in the house?

It's so fascinating. Oh, wow. I don't look at that up. But I can see how they get caught up in it because it's quite intoxicating, the views going up, like it's going up, money going up. If we do this, we do that. but that's always sort of been like, it's quite,

it was like, I think I said it before, about product led or market led, whether these YouTubeers, if you're market led, you'll just do whatever, oh, they want more of that,

let's do that. Whereas I think, like, what we do here is a product, it sounds a bit wanky in business talk, but like, is a product like thing, well,

we'll just chat and frat out, and if people like it, they like it, it won't come to shock to any listeners that we've never done any research at all ever, on whatever,

I don't even, I won't even fucking read a comment or some, you know, I've blocked Reddit and all those things just because I actually think that ruins you because then you become too aware of what you're doing when you've just got to do it

and if people like it, they're like if they don't, they don't. I think it's dangerous game. There's, and without, it's wank again, but I think it's a good phrase that I heard someone say, which is if you're doing it for clicks, that is not your art. That is not what you want to be doing. That's not how you express yourself.

If you're going, this will get me more clicks. That is not... No. This is as shit as it is because this is what we want to do. I've got absolutely nothing in me to change it beyond this into a mega TV. When someone said, do you ever want to go to America and break America? I thought of being big in America. Start again.

Are you fucking cute? Do you know how long I've worked? Sorry, you start in the clubs. Well, I've done that. I'm not doing it. again? When does it end? You're fucking kidding me?

Oh. Yeah. So I started my street photography, Instagram account this week. Yes, I saw that. Very good photos. Oh, thank you. And I've followed loads of photographers, and one of them's got 500,000 followers.

Yeah. And he instantly DM'd me and he said, if you want help, getting more followers, follow my program. It's initially free. and I was like, an internet, I was like, oh, shit. And I was like, what are you doing? This is the opposite.

Don't get dragged into going. These are the photographs that take these. What, why is everything this quest for fucking bigger? And to be fair, we're as, you know, we're all to blame for it. I'm not saying I'm better than that. We were like that at one point. So the thing is, though, the difference is we've got an established podcast touring TV work and stuff. Whereas like if you would work in the Guardian writing that door,

because you know, your journalist. You could get 500,000 followers of photography. Oh, actually, if that can impact my life, maybe you would go down that route of doing it. And I totally think that's the right, that would be the right thing for you to do then. But for you now to do that again, it's sort of like, well, you can if you want,

but what for, Josh? Yeah, exactly. I've got no interest. Because what is that? And you're just becoming a science model as opposed to creating something people would like. Exactly. Anyway.

Hey, that's the end of fucking news night. A pair of fucking boring old. Right. Got an email here. Craziest baby food fight. We asked this last week, Josh, because the old baby food fight stuff's really clicking well on the old CPU unit thumbnail fucking.

Oh, it makes feel sick. Do you know what? The worst thing is we did have a conversation. just before this about thumbnails. So. It's only because we just definitely have, no, we didn't have a conversation about thumbnails. We just,

I just said, on our feed, we've got to have a photo of it, the football one for the football episodes. And I think that's a basic level. That's cool. I said that's labelling. That's not thumbnails.

Yeah. Thumbails is not like, right, take a photo of this. My head. I'm put loads of fucking bombs behind me, Ed. Ha-in- Can we have that as the thumbnail, Mike? Crazy fucking chat from Josh and Rob.

Josh and Rob unleash on your ear rolls. This episode is brought to by Tesco Mobile. Josh, how are you with the kid's slang? Oh, mate. I try. I'll be honest. I try, but they might as well be speaking a different language. I don't know what she ate means and I do worry about it.

And when you hear something like, oh, we cooked, well, I presume, you know, was it on an induction hop? That's what I'm thinking. We can't be alone though, Josh. Loads of parents out there feel like they can't understand half of the words their kids use. The thing is, that can also mean a lot of us don't always understand what's going on in our kids' online lives. Exactly. It might not always feel easy, but sitting down with the kids and asking them what something like Riz means can open up important conversations about their online lives, Those chats help us keep up as parents, which helps us keep them safe online.

So if you're feeling stuck about having the online safety chat, visit the Tesco Mobile Online Safety Hub, where they have plenty of tips and resources for keeping you and your family safe online. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility and optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Rob, you're going to have to do the emails because this is the level we're working at.

Yeah. I've managed to delete the email, Michael sent up to the emails. Okay, don't worry, I'll take the lead. Do you know what, though, this is a bit professional, because I'm getting my office done. I'm going to buy, right? What do you think of this? Yeah.

Metal, like, screen thing with, like, little holes in on wheels so I can, like, pin to it a parent in hell, like printed out a bit of paper and will get in behind me. Printed out on a bit of paper. Well, whatever, you know what I mean? Like, like, a sign or something. The thing is, like, we are just free bloke. So there isn't a team that's like, oh, okay,

I'll put an email into the fucking signage team. And Michael's been promising me a screen behind me for fucking months, Michael. You've got one. Well, it's not fit for purpose. Michael, where's my screen? I'm actually in a dispute with the delivery company who are saying it's been delivered, and I'm saying no, it hasn't. So I think one of your neighbours might have your screen.

Really? Well, they're saying it's been delivered, and they're saying they're disputing. Do you have next door to Elizabeth Day? Hang on, did you get... I reckon it might be in my house somewhere. we've got a delivery confirmation from them I've asked them for photographic proof like well over two weeks ago

no they but they won't provide a photo so as I'm concerned I'm saying if it hasn't been delivered they've got to be able to provide a photo that's the whole point of taking a photo of your fucking precisely yeah it's quite like it's a sort of long

narrow like it's a sort of a close rail on wheels you wouldn't miss it if it had been delivered I there's a box that looks like that in my you've got to be fucking kidding You've got to be fucking kidding me. Michael's in a dispute.

Fucking out. He's knee deep. In a dispute, yeah? Rob. I think that might be by the washing machine. Go and have a look. One second.

While he's gone, I'll tell this anecdote. My friend showed me their Street WhatsApp group recently, yesterday, and they had a picture on it of a package being held by a hand that they hadn't received. They'd just put on the street

WhatsApp group. Does anyone record? recognize this thumb. Shall we just carry on without him? Yeah. Getting Alfred by an in-law, niche and interesting things your kids are into. Yeah, yeah, go for a year.

Oh, there we get. That was good, that. I looked up and thought he might be back. Here he is. Michael, continue the dispute. What was it? It was a sort of like a floating thing that goes in our above ground pool that you can put drinks in that's not been,

open because no one's been in the above grandpool for three and a half weeks. It's now September. Niche and interesting things your kids are obsessed with are into. Go on. Hello, my five, almost six-year-old son, loves history, but he's particularly obsessed with the Battle of Rourke's Drift. Rourke's Drift? What's that?

I don't know. Well, I do know because it says it here. He has watched the film Zulu more times than I can remember. How old is he? Five, almost six. And when he role plays, he recreates the gun. sound with historical accuracy. He also cried at bedtime a few weeks ago because he will never be a Zulu.

Strange child, she's written. Lauren's spiritually 20, realistically 37 from Hereford. So it's got a PG rating. Has it? Yeah, and he's five. I watched it as a kid because my grand was obsessed with that film. She thought it was excellent. And it's about Michael Kane.

Yeah. Not Michael Kane. He's playing a role. And they're, I mean, presumably Michael's seen it. It's, they're a battalion of British soldiers who kind of hold their position against an onslaught of Zulu fighters in a kind of bloodbath. Is that right, Michael? Yeah. Yeah, it's basically our version of the Alamo.

Yeah. So what's the Alamo? Stas. Is it racist? It feels racist. It's probably. probably not ideal in this day. It's quite colonial. It's not ideal.

They weren't defending fucking Guilford, were they? No. P.S., his idea of a good time is going to the crematorium near us to find soldiers' gravestones. So where is Rourke's Drift? It'll be the Boer War, won't it? Rorke's Drift. Anglo Zulu War. Oh, it was. Anglo Zulu War. It sounds.

Don't sound great, does it? The Battle of Rorke's Drift was a famous in 1879 Anglo Zulu War engagement where roughly 150 British and colonial troops successfully defended a supply depot against 3,000 to 4,000 Zulu Warriors. Yeah. They just kind of keep coming, the Zulu Warriors. Should we not have been there really in the first place? Hi guys. I've been loving your segment about our kids' hyperfixations and thought I'd share mine.

My five-year-old little boy, Louis, adores the 20th century Fox logo and theme tune. Oh, I love that. That's great. That one. it started when we tried to watch a film but all he ever wanted to do was rewind over and over to the 20th Century Fox theme tune at the start.

In his words, it's totally epic. It is totally epic. I love it. We managed to find a 3D print of the logo which he now takes to bed. It's also extended to all major US film companies, in particular Universal and MGM, and he always points out,

interested to see where this interest takes him. Stay sex and relatable rosy. Hollywood. That's where he's going. Yeah. I have a weird food confession to share with you all. When I was a kid, I used to have the job of feeding our cat in our laundry. One day I was curious to know what a cat biscuit

tasted like. As it turns out, I was quite fond of the flavour of a cat biscuit. So from that day forward, every now and then when I passed a laundry, I'd pop a cat biscuit in my mouth for a delicious snack. I told my husband this story a few years back, and as it turns out, he's

to do a similar thing. He used to sneak into the back room where his dog was and lick the end of his dick. What? Funny the things you're into. No, I made that up. Sorry. Sorry. He would sneak dog biscuits from the farm dogs back when he was a kid. I wonder if this is why we get on so well. Love the pod. It brightens my day, Kylie, from New Zealand. I don't think it is why you get on so well. What do they taste of cat biscuit then? Fish. I want to say fish. I'm going to say fish. Always fish. It's got to be fish, isn't it?

Would you, I'm saying no for me. Go on. Would you eat one? Weirdly, I'd go dog biscuit over cat biscuit, gun's lead. Mainly because I think cat, I just think fish immediately. Yeah. And I don't want a fish biscuit, but I do think I could eat a chicken biscuit. Kibble, would you have kibble?

What was kibble? The kibble's like the little hard pellets of food, dogs eat. No. No, no, no. Fuck that. They look horrible. Mel Gibson, when he played rigs in lethal weapon, used to eat dog biscuits, didn't he?

Did he? Oh, mate. How good was lethal weapon? When he used to dislocate his shoulder all the time for no reason. Yeah. It was good. Also, Myrtle. When I watched that, you know Mertor in it?

He's got, I'm getting too old for this shit. Who's Mertal? Is the sidekick, the black police officer? Danny Glover. Yeah. Right, right, right. You should have said Danny Glover, yeah. Okay, sorry.

Danny Glover. When someone's across the character names, they've seen a film too many times. Riggs a Myrtle. I don't, he was such a great performance. I don't see him as Danny Glover. Of course, of course.

Anyway, in that, when I was a kid, I thought he must be 72. He had a bit of grey air, and he had his old gun, and he'd crick his neck and go on getting too old for this shit, and then fire it. He's about 38.

How old was Danny Glover and lethal weapon? He's 40 in the film, but the character's 50. So it's 40 in the film, same age as me, and his character's 50. How did you get that that quick? I'm a big fan of lethal weapon.

Mate, I loved it. Even lethal weapon four. Joe Pesci, Jet Lee. I'll, I want to watch it again. Yeah, I'd watch it again. Isn't that thing where he's on the toilet? There's a fun thing where he's on the toilet, isn't there? That's lethal weapon two.

That's Leather Weapon 2. Right, yeah. Have you ever played lethal weapon Pimble? One holiday in Pembrokeshire, we played lethal weapon 2 pinball every day in booths amusement arcade in Pembroke. And I've toyed with buying it, but it's too expensive. Really?

Well, you should do it. It would play the song Sharp Dressed Man by Zee Top when you got a power up. I was never pinball. He used to like playing point blank time crisis in arcades. Do you ever play them? Yeah. I took my kids to the arcade to get it back onto kids. We went to X-Muss.

Who cares? We were kids once? Talk about being kids? Went to X-Muth. We played crazy golf, which they fucking loved. Do you want to know the best decision I made, Rob? Go on. She handed me the score card.

And I said, no, we're not scoring this. And it was, the pressure was off. They didn't know that you had to score. it. They were just trying to get round. Nice. Perfect. Perfect. Then we went into the amusement arcade. Yeah. And it was like they'd been overtaken by a demon.

What do you mean? Obsessed with the machines and the winning on the 2P pushing machine and the 10p pushing machine. I had to kind of get them out because it was so extreme. The kind of how much it was winding them up. Josh, are you sure it was Leaf Weapon 2 or Leaf Weapon 3? It was 3.

It was 3? Maybe. I don't know. Was there separate pinballs? Well, Leaf Weapon 2 is not coming up with a pinball, but 3 is. And it looks absolutely incredible. You've got to buy it. Come on. Is it available?

I don't know. Yeah, that's the one. Leave the Weapon 3 pinball. Yeah, Rob, I'm not buying it because it's £7,395 pounds. I mean, and also it's a big old unit. It's got its own Wikipedia. It must be a legendary Pimball machine. It might, would Rose let you have it in a house somewhere?

Not at that price. It's so good. Joe Pesci in there in the middle. Yeah, he used to say in it, when you did well, he'd go, what Leo wants, Leo gets. Yes, because he was an estate agent, wouldn't he? Yeah. Yeah, this is the one. There was a choice of three background music.

see music factories going to make you sweat everybody dance now zizi tops sharp jest man which is the one we choose and an original composition by brian schmidt if anyone's trying to sell a lethal weapon three pinball i'd be interested but not seven seven grand's mental not at the market rate no that's insane lethal weapon three pinball then they've got a price with the line through it because it's been reduced yeah four thousand seven hundred ninety five pounds line through it reduced reduced So 4,4995 pounds. That is not a big enough reduction. 300 pounds off a 5 grand pinball machine.

Do you know what I'd, what, so, you know, that's obviously seed into your memory as a kid, that pinball machine. And my worries, I'd buy it, and then it would ruin those memories because then it would just be a thing in the garage that I felt was too expensive. Here we go. Is there something that you've bought

because you're obsessed by it as a kid and you've got it? Tell us, what was it? did it satisfy that need or did it make you feel a bit empty because it was perfect in your mind? I can tell you the first thing about that, Rob. Yeah. This is the perfect distillation of like capitalism, consumerism and want and need not ever being satisfied as a child. All I ever wanted was to buy the box of stickers they had.

the news agent. The full pack. The full box. The full box of the sticker packs. Have you ever done it? Yeah. It's awful. It felt amazing.

Did you? I felt awful. I loved it. Why do you feel? I felt fucking great. No. Too much. You don't like it?

No, it's too much. No, I just thought, yes. You've heard this. Yeah. That's how I felt at the start. Yeah. And then you start opening them. And you feel cheap.

and you feel like it becomes a chore. No, you need to, you know what you need? You need to borrow my brain for half hour. I fucking loved it. I lined them all up, put them in there. I just turned them over and put them in number order. Bang, bang, done, done. That's what I did.

It became a chore. It did take ages. By the end, I was like, fucking hell, because I'll get rid of some of these stick. It became more of a job than the fun of putting them in. Have you as an adult? I think you are too harsh in yourself. Josh for enjoying yourself.

Yep. I think, as Marcus Aurelia said, what's in the way is the way, you need to buy this spinball machine. I'm not buying the pinball machine. You need to stand there, hold that clock, unleash on Joe Pescher. I don't want to do, Rob.

I don't know. Do you do your own home insurance? Lou does it. Right. Do you know that if you've got anything over the value of, I think it is £3,000 in your house. You have to ring up.

No, you have to specify that on the home insurance. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to have to specify. No. See, this is... I have a five grand pinball machine on my home insurance. It's too embarrassing. You'll be lucky, right?

Seven and a half if you're getting it upstairs. I'm actually on now. I'm on a Jurassic Park pinball machine, and I'm getting flashbacks. Yeah. What have you bought from your childhood and did it bring happiness? Do you know what it felt like when I got the box of stickers? What? I don't know.

Let me give you an example. I made up example, but we've all had this situation. You think, I'm going to bloody show them, right? So what I'm going to do, do you know what I'd love to do? When I'm on TV, I'm going to go back to the fucking comedy store, and I'm going to do a weekend, and I'm going to rub it in comedy, comedian X and comedian Y's face. Hang on.

I don't think, I don't think I've done. You must have had comedian X, comedian. X comedian why you didn't like on the way up. Yes. And you've thought, when I get famous, I'm going to love gigging with them because it's going to... Oh, no, no. So I thought you purposely booked in the gig.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, I've done that when I've looked and got, oh, I'm happy, you know, yeah, I've got you, right. And then actually... I thought you're hunting them down. No, no, no, no, no, I'm going. Putting strings to get them on the bills so you can headline and rip it. No.

Comedian X, who was horrible to you on the way up. and you're looking forward to gigging with them. And then you gig with them and it feels hollow. Because actually, you feel a bit embarrassed. You feel like what was I trying to do? Do you know what I mean? It's a little bit. I need to spend half an hour in your head.

I need to learn to enjoy myself. No, because I sort of know what you mean, but part of me did think, have that, you silly old pratt, who's laughing now? Not you or them, or me, no one. But in this little game I've invented, I'm winning. I am on top now after you bullied me.

No, the truth is to sort of let it go and not care, but sometimes, I think as you've said before, it's good to be very calm and zen, but also it's still quite fun to hate people. Yeah. Isn't it? Normal people with famous names, Rob. Oh, go on.

Hello, Rob and Josh. Og, Ogg, a listener to the pod. So a massive thank you. I went to school with this is mad because I don't, this is mad because it's fine if the person's then got the name. Or it's fine if the person that gave them the, and then the person's got famous afterwards. Or if the person didn't know, I went to school with William Shakespeare. No, that's, that can't be. You can't love the surname Shakespeare, which is already people are going to go, oh, like Shakespeare.

Yeah. You can't be doing that. Yeah, it's like surnames of Nazareth and you call you Jesus. Yeah. One funny story. That can't be real, can it? It is. One funny story was when a supply teacher arrived.

Well, it might not be. They might be lying. One funny story was when a supply teacher arrived and they had no register so we had to give our names. Oh, here we go. Of course our cast saw this an open goal to see what we could get away with. So one teacher totally accepted Eddie Murphy. Did not flinch. but poor Will Shakespeare was told not to be so ridiculous

and to give his real name. What's the thought process of naming your child William Shakespeare? It's mad. We'll keep trying, but this went on until he was sent out of the classroom and given a detention. Poor Will, thanks both Jackie from Coventry. Hashtag PSPUSB, COV fan.

Pie up, you Sky Blues. A new listener to Footballing Howe. Everyone, do listen to Footballing Howe. Thank you. Check out on the next. new thumbnails. Check out the new thumbnails. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself,

friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19 speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac.

Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian new vehicle total registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Advertising on Spotify with audio and display ads helps brands turn attention into results. Download the 2026 performance playbook and discover why Spotify belongs in your media plan. I'm talking of names. Two people come up to me at the boxing. I went to the boxing with Lou at the weekend.

Oh yeah. How was the boxing with Lou? He's good. She enjoyed it. Got a little bit stressed when people got. punched but we um went over ringside good seats yeah and there was a lot of famous people there quite exciting robin robin van percy no gallagherd miles kane matt smith

patty constantine all these different people he was there when we went to the box he loves the box he loves it and um uh darren fletcher was a football commentator anyway a couple of people come up to me i don't know if i'd recognize darren fletcher the football commentator you as soon as he says hello you recognize the voice of right of course yeah of course yeah of course Did you, be honest, before he said, Hi, Rob, Darren Fletch. Well, I actually met him in Budapest at the TNT Sport Rap Party.

Right. I'll talk about that, man. I'll tell you the new question. At the TNT Sport Rap Party. Yeah. Well, he was sat next to Ali Bockech. And chatting. So, like, it was, and I'm at the TNT rap.

And he was chatting with one of those mics over his mouth. Big coat on. Mike right up to his lip So it was like It was in situ to be like Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah of course It's like I don't really recognise Adam Hills

But if I met him at the last league rap party Yeah yeah of course And he had an Australian twang You're on it Anyway so I'm there I guess two people come up to me One he goes hi it's me Sexy Stu

And I was like what He went from Slebs go dating And I was like Oh It's a geese that went on a date With I think Khali Nolan Okay, yeah. And I've obviously commentated on that.

Ten years of work. How many dates have you watched on that? Mate. One day, we can do it now. Go down the... This is a fun game. I've got to try and tell you every single person that's been on. And I don't even think I can.

There's too many. Okay. How many... Ask you how many people have been on it, and then I can guess how many... Anyway, he came up to me and said hello. Yeah. Lovely geezer.

Why was he backstage at the boxing? I don't know. Don't know. Not with his celebs go dating. I don't think that got him in. He must have... Fuck in hell, Rob. There's a lot of apps of this.

20 a series. So how many celebrities are there? Oh, mate. Hundreds. Okay, can you name any of the people in series one? I could just try and give you loads of people's names that have been on it. No, series one is what I'm looking for. Oh, fucking series one.

Someone from outnumbered. What? Someone from outnumbered. I look easily. The Plains Citizen. King Dennis. Look, what am I thinking of? I'm not Citizen Smith.

You're thinking my family. My family. That's the same show, isn't it? Robert Lindsay. Yeah, Robert Lindsay's on the ball. Oh, Wolfie. So you want to make a. The kid from outnumbered.

The kid from outnumbered, yeah. Tiger Drew Honey. Tiger Drew Honey, yeah. Someone from the only way is Essex? Joey Essex? Yeah. Oh, Stephanie Pratt was in it. Yeah, she was.

She's listed as television personality, which is a bit, made it difficult to give clues. Charlotte Crosby? Yeah. Okay. Who's the only person that went from series one and reappeared in series two?

Joey Essex. Correct. This is meant to, I can't believe all these. Lee Ryan from Blue. The geyser that played... The geyser that played Stuart Little in Stuart Little

and he also played the kid... The mouse? No. No. He's a great man now, but the... No, the cute kid from Jerry Maguire. Lippenicky. The kid from Jerry McGuire?

Jonathan Lipanicki, I think. Yeah, the kid from Jerry McGuire was in it. Wow. Anyway. Jonathan Shebbin. I don't know. Well, Toff was in one of them. She's done all right for herself since on the old dating game.

Yeah, she's been in it. Oh, yeah. Jonathan Lippenicki was in it. Yeah, that's the kid. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, so Egey can't see the boxing and went, you don't know I am, but my kid said your name's on an inch of.

Oh, nice. He's going, oh, look, he went, and he went, and you slagged off his name. Oh, no. I was like, oh, God. Oh, no. What's he called? And he went, well,

I mean, yeah, obviously. He said, so, and he's called Wolfgang Sajad, I think Sajad, he's an Asian guy, so he's called Wolf, and he lives in Chorley. And then apparently, and I don't even, it was so awful, because I was like, we chat and I forget people listen. Yeah, of course. This is a real kid and a real dad. And he said, apparently I said, you said, well, if you were called Wolfgang, what would you

call yourself? And I said, a fucking victim. Oh. But he was laughing about it. Yeah, that's good. Quite awkward at the boxing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I going to get punched in the face by Wolfgang's dad?

Imagine getting beaten up by a bloke's got a kid called Wolfgang. Is that rain? Maybe. What is that the apocalypse? Could be both. Can you hear that? No. Oh, no, Rose is running a bath.

I don't think she can be. It's 10 to 9. They wouldn't be going up for a bath now. We haven't lost control that bad. Is it raining? Please look out the window. Michael, we're actually waiting for live reports if it's rain. What's happened?

The world's come off here. It's like Andy McDowell in four weddings and a funeral. Is it raining? I didn't notice. I said the apocalypse. I mean, if you said to me, leave a weapon-free pinball and Jonathan Lippenickey were getting brought up in this episode. Yeah.

Okay, cool. You can really hear it on this bit of the house. Can you? Shouldn't have made it at the podcast studio. Is that the first time we've potted in the rain? Can you hear it, Michael? No. Well, no, yeah, of course we've prodding the rain.

In extra, it rained for 45 days in a road, didn't it? Of course it did, yeah. Right, do you want a boomer parenting story or beyond boomer, grandparenting? Higher, following on from your beyond boomer stories, e.g. Tows of our parents' traumatic childhoods, which, to be fair, do often beat our boomer stories. Anyway, my mum has many insane beyond boomer stories from the late 50s, early 60s. In this particular one, she was on holiday in Venice with her parents in 1961, age 9. The reason they were in Venice was because her dad worked for the railways and had free travel around Europe, so they had amazing holidays.

I've heard about these people. But on this particular trip, she had horrific food poisoning, so her parents obviously did the sensible thing and left her in the room alone. for the whole day while they went sightseeing. Oh my God. That is sad enough, leaving a nine-year-old alone in Venice with food poisoning. Unfortunately, it was a communal bathroom. Oh, my God. So she had to go along to the corridor to get to the bathroom,

and she said if everyone else on that floor, but that wasn't the worst bit. Okay. She's going to shit herself or something, isn't she? Something awful. Nothing would prepare you for what's happening in this next line of this email. Along the corridor, there was a live, chained up monkey. So every time she had to rush to the toilet to throw up,

she would have to go by this terrified monkey that would scream at her alone in a hotel in Venice, age nine. Obviously, she had no way of contact on her parents during that day while they were out. Oh, my God. She just spent her time rushing, terrified, past the screaming monkey to be sick. Just give her a bucket.

at least. Oh, so as well. You're walking around canals. Just vomiting the canals. Apparently, I've never been, but apparently Venice stinks. In summer, not in winter. In summer, right.

It's better to go in autumn or spring. All right. Thanks for making the never-ending thrill of parenting a bit less lonely. That is wild. Claire, aged for 187 months. That is brilliant. Why don't you just go out separately?

What year was that, 1961? Yeah. That's early in Venice, in it? That is wild. That's like an early track. Who went to Venice in 1960s? Fair play, but free train travel. You also had a live monkey.

I kind of love the idea of just having a train ticking. Do you know my dream when we retire is to, and I'm not going to retire. Go on, what's the dream? To do the Orient Express. Josh, I'm telling you now, you're doing that as a travel series when you're 59. That has got Channel 5 written all over it. their commitment to giving 50 to 60-year-old comedians train travelogs is second to none.

Griffrease Jones, fucking loves it. But what I'd love to do, Rob, is to do it without a camera crew but with my wife, Lou, at that point. Also, when you're 60, you're a comedian like Griffith Jones. He don't put any effort in to be funny either. He just sort of just goes, yeah, so we're on the train now to Venice. and then just looks out the window and they cuts loads of scenery.

You don't have to be funny. I say this as someone who's a huge fan of Griffrey Jones's work. He has so much money. He doesn't need... He could just go. Just go. Don't take the camera crew. Well, he is funny, but he doesn't even need to be

because the whole set up is, look out the window and see the scenery. Yeah. Tony Robinson does one as well. Of course he does. Of course he fucking does. You'll be on it. Oran Express.

You can just go on the Oriane Express with Rose, can't you, as a holiday? Why do you have to do that when you retire? It's the lethal weapon three pinball of holiday days, the cost ratio. It's insane. Well, does it go across the whole of Europe? Honestly, Rob, the money is insane. Where should we go? Paris to Venice.

That's probably, that's a good one to do, in it? Five grand per adult for one night. Yeah. Mental. If they're on it. Most of the time you're on it, it's dark. Yeah. Yeah, do that as a TV show.

I can't believe that. It's mad. Thank you very much for listening. We'll see you next week. You've got to pay for drinks on that, Tray. Sorry, see you next week. Right, see you later. Two and five Canadians will hear the words,

you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, joined thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca.