Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S13 EP17: Your dog is skinny, buy you is fat...

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

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Can you say Rob Beckett? What, Bucket? Can you say Joshua? Welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

There we go. Thank you. This is Connie, age three and 11 months. Just started school with her big brother, Freddie, age seven. Been listening since lockdown and love the podcast. Yes, every time I go on holiday, I do get asked if I'm English or if I'm Johnny English when hotel reception see the passport. Robert English. What?

His name is Robert English. Yeah. Fair enough. You're right there, mate. Yeah, I didn't understand the Johnny English bit, but I suppose, fair enough. It's just the word. Mr. Bean, the Mr. Bean film. Yes, I know that was based on a debit card advert or a credit card advert. Was it?

Yeah. The kids watch the bumblebee one. Oh, yeah. Good. Yeah, not too bad. How are you, Josh? You're good? You're the same colour as a hotel room? I'm not very well. Oh, what's wrong? I think I've got, well, Rob, I don't want to go too graphic.

Okay, go on. I've got stomach problems. Oh. I just keep needing a piss. Okay. And I'm constipated, and I've got stomach pains. So you can't shit, but you can't stop pissing? Yeah.

So full beans one way, no beans the other? Exactly, Rob. And I feel like I need a piss, and then it takes ages to have a... I've got a UTI, I think, or something. Okay. And is it painful? What would help you now? And I'm just fucked.

What would help me now? Yeah. Well, there's nothing you can do from that distance. I'm just trying to, you know, lend a supportive ear. Well, I bought some, I've bought some, when I came into town, I bought some, I won't say the brand, because they're not paying us. Some clinically proven medicine for short-term occasional constipation.

Right, this is the game. Should I? Take it. See how quick it. See how good it is. Because you got your AirPods on, so you could have. actually report. I'm going to

within 8 to 12 hours. I should just go for it now. I need some water. That stinks. What stinks? The pill. Yeah. You don't got any water in the hotel room.

Yeah, well, I have, but not sat here. So I'll do it at the end of it. It's good. Get some, if you want. It takes to 12 hours. It can take 8 to 12 hours. Yeah, it gets a water. Get some water now.

Just out. Yeah, before the record, yeah. And it's just a little bit of jeopardy for the app, isn't there? Yeah. Like, Will John? need a ship before the end of the show. Hopefully.

I'll take that at this stage in the game. Yeah. There we are, down the hatch. Your t-shirt is the exact same colour as the wall? It is, isn't it? That wasn't intentional? You did like a floating head. Yeah, well, that's a bit of fun, isn't it?

Bit of fun. So I've not been well. You look tired and stressed. You're still in a hotel room. No, I'm not stressed. I'm tired. Do you know what, Rob? Full disclosure.

Go on. I think we've done the launch show strictly on Wednesday. I can say that. That's fine. This happened, yeah. It went well. Yeah. The next day, I don't think I've ever been so tired in my life.

Just your body just, really like it finally relaxed. Yeah. And I've not, I still don't feel like I've fully recovered. Admittedly, I had a show in Dublin the next day, which wasn't ideal prep. Not prep. Ideal wind down. So that's probably what's contributed. to your tiredness.

That I came back and then I had a full on weekend of parenting. Now you're here. And I know when you're a little bit under the kosh because you'd never have stuff charged properly or your wired headphones. Oh, tell me, this is my problem with these headphones. Yeah.

I don't know how this has happened. Go on. A second headphone, Rose doesn't have the same headphones to me. Second headphone box thing. You know the little thing that you open? Yeah, the AirPods, has turned up in our house exactly the same.

I don't know whose it is. But no head head punds in it. No it abuts in. I put my headphones in it and they didn't charge because it wasn't their fucking thing. Home. This morning. Yeah, this morning I got my headphones

and they were barely charged and they were in the wrong box. Yeah, because we had a little break between the last episode so you could charge it one head. You're charging one headphone as you recalled and then swapping them in and out and after to charge the actual thing.

so you've only got one charger so you can't charge your laptop. The laptop's up to 65. Yeah, where's your wired headphones? I don't know because this is my travel mic. Right. Yeah, but surely the travel mic should have some travel headphones. Yeah, I'm so tired. Here's something.

So you're struggling to, because you've, I think my autumn's going to be more tiring than I'd anticipated. Yeah, maybe. And also, you're struggling to get stuff charged. Have you bought your electric car? at your electric car yet? No. No.

Do you know what? I'm slightly wary with what I say on the podcast because Go on. Someone said to me the other day they were like, oh, sorry about what happened

you on the plane. I was like, what? And they're like, the guy that started on you on the plane. I was like, what?

That was barely an anecdote from a... Yeah. I forget that these things apparently get picked up in the press. They're listening now, Rob. The press are listening?

Yeah. Yeah. So they... Hopefully some head phone manufacturers are listed. I always forget. And I can't, you can't complain about that. I'm not complaining because you're basically going, this story I've put out in the public, they've reported it, fine.

Yeah. But it becomes a kind of... I don't think you can say that phrase anymore. Oh, God. What's the game that kids play where they whisper into each other's ears? Oh, yeah. The whisper game. The whisper game.

And then it becomes bigger than it originally was because it's been whispered, right? Yeah. Why was it ever called that in the first place? I don't know. I don't want to have a guess. Victorian Times. Yeah, that's so old, isn't it? Anyway, so you think you might be quite tired this, Alton? No, no. What I was going to say is I'm going to start doing a Colleen Rooney. Go on.

And planting fake stories and parenting hell for the press to report. No, but then, but what Colleen did was her private conversations were being leaked. You are actively pumping this out to millions, or in some time, millions of of people that are listing and then and then I think he's harsh to then call out the papers for reporting on something you've already published publicly. I'm not calling about it at all.

Just going to plant some fake stories just to see what gets picked up. Yeah, to see what. Oh no, do you know what we should do, Rob? Should I tell you what? Let's try it. I'm going to do one. It's how happened to meet the weekend? I went to the florist, Josh, right? Yeah. And I said, can I get a bunch of flowers? And she was, I was

like, what do you want? I've got about 30 quid to spend and I'll get a nice bunch of flowers, all different colours. And she went, yeah, no worries. And then she put it all together. And then how'd you want it? Do you want it in a vase or just want it loose? I went, oh, just stick it in something. Did you know what she did?

Oh, no. Pulled down her trousers and pants, popped it in her ass, and gave it to me. Mad, isn't it? It's wild. It's wild, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember the name of the florist.

It was called Greenfingered or Brown fingered or something like that. I can't remember. And you presented it to Lou like that, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. It was basically then. And then I, so I clenched. And then I clenched it with my ass and then waddled I And then popped it into the vase at home

The lady at the shop said that's just what they do And then let's see if that goes in the paper What do you like in the headline will be? Oh TV comic Shubbs flowers up his ass Something like a pun on bouquet But like bum K

Oh yeah Like a bouquet of flowers or you know A bunch Beckett's bum K Beckett's bum munch bunch Bunch punch Bump Munch punch Beckett's bum munt

bunch bunch. What's munch got to do with it? Because my bum I was munching the flowers. And I was eating a yogurt at the time. So then munch bunch. That's a good story, isn't it? It is a good story. Print that.

I'd love it if they did. Anyway, hello, who's listening? I got accidentally sassy at the school gates, Josh. Go on. So I was waiting for the kids to come out. They do this like circus skills class or whatever. This is quite funny as well. So they do like a circus skill thing.

And there was some new parents I met before. And they were going, oh, is this like the circus skills? But yeah, they come out of here. And I was like, yeah. And then I went, oh, they've never done it before. So they're quite excited to go. And to be fair, my kids love it. My kids have never, you know, some clubs, they say they don't want to go or sometimes

I like it. Sometimes they don't. And it's a bit of that. It went genuinely, they've been doing this for a few years. And they actually love it. They come out buzzing every single time. And as my daughter came out, she burst into tears. but she had a sore throat

nothing to do with the class and I'd also also said to the guy I went they love this blah blah blah anyway and then we were waiting and then I think they were just like too fair the lady seemed really nice I think she was just trying to make like small talk chat

where like she was saying oh like the kids go to school and go you know we send them into school and we tell them like you know make sure they study hard and you know revise and get good results and stuff like that but now they're at circus school

they'll probably end up being a bloody clown and then I just said So that held me back. Nice. Like a bit of fun, but then it looked a bit catty, a little bit sassy. Yeah, of course. But I felt like I had to say that. You know what I mean?

I had to sort of say something. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But I don't know if it was a bit too catty, but a bit of fun. A bit of fun, a bit of fun, that. Yeah. That might be in the paper. Beckett slams bitch at Schoolgate.

Not bitch. She wasn't a bitch. Sorry. Immediately retract that. Beckett slams mom at Schoolgate. Yeah. Then waddles home. Then just little daffodils.

It's like a flower girl just dropping them on the root back. I thought, I'll be honest. I thought it was disrespectful the way you mourned Princess Diana by dropping those flowers off. Everyone grieves in their own way. Okay? Don't judge me for grief. Yeah? I've been supporting you through your grief.

At the theatre. When Rob goes to the theatre, you don't want to see those flowers thrown on stage. No, no! I've actually got a Asbo, asbo for Valentine's Day. I'm not allowed, anywhere in Bromley City Centre, town centre. Anyway, what else is going on for you, Josh? What's going on?

Moses is the worst, Rob, isn't it, with those thorns? Oh, my God. Not worth it. What's going on? So you're tired, you're busy week. Good weekend, though. Busy week, good weekend. Good week, great week, great weekend.

Do you feel more confident about the shows? I flew into Exeter Airport. I'm feeling very. confident actually. I'm feeling joyful. Oh, that's good. We had the best time. It's just joyful. Yeah? Oh, brilliant.

Yeah. I was going to ask a Strictly question. Oh, yeah, yeah, go on. There was a bit of a chat about what will be finished first, your house or the first Strictly live show, because we're still doing this in a hotel room. Oh, yeah, yeah. The first Strictly live show. So how far off are you from doing this in your house? Phase two begins today.

Phase two? Yeah. So that's not answered my question. That's quite a political answer. All I will say, Rob, is the house will be finished as soon as we can possibly finish it. So we have every intention of completing the house. Yep. On time and on budget.

Is there an argument that shall we move the goalpost? Will the house be done by Halloween weeks, really? you know, I don't think this is a time to be setting nebulous targets. Whatever everyone wants is for the house to be done. But Josh, and we're aware of that and we are pushing... I cannot remember a time when you wasn't having work done. Rob. From your own home in East and Under to now.

I know. I feel like Kevin McLeod's going to show up. Also, we just found out the roof of the garage and he's doing. Oh, no. Punchy. Punchy for a roof. A roof of the garage. But you need it, though.

Without a roof, without a roof is just a bit of garden. Exactly. Exactly, Rob. Bigger garden? Fancy bigger garden? Pansy bigger garden? No.

Get rid of the garage? No, I think we're going to keep the garage. You've got to put your electric charging unit in there for your car, haven't you? Exactly, Rob. I'm going to have a pool table in the garage, Rob. You can have a pool table? I thought snookers are more your thing, isn't it? I find snookers too big and I'm not good enough.

Okay. Paul's fun. A snooker is fucking mental. Have you played snooker? It's too big, in it? It's too big. It's like, if the ball's one end of the table and my white ball's the other end of the table,

that's as good as a snooker. Like, to aim to hit the ball at the other end of the table is a challenge. I think it's weird because England's got less space. You feel like snooker should have been American. Yes. And we have, Paul. Yeah. Because we've got less, a much smaller rooms.

So those. snooker tables are so big it's mad so poor tape what was you lethal weapon pinball no come on little little end of strictly

present for yourself no not with the cost of that garage roof can you get a lethal weapon themed roof roof yeah get it painted on like Danny Glover at the front so how are you going to manage

your tiredness and workload over the autumn then what's your plan because I feel like we need to Help you have a good plan. It's good, actually. I've come up with a plan. I'm taking on nothing extra. Than what else ever's booked in?

Than whatever's booked in. From now on, you're not going to accept any other job between now and Christmas. Unless it's a real sweet one. I'm going to tell you now that is absolute bullshit. No, but I'm not going to do any big work.

I'm not trying to bear. Okay. Well, how do you know you haven't got my diary in front of you? I can get it. I can get your diary. What qualifies as a job? Well, you have to go leave your house to do something that isn't involving your family.

Okay, I don't think I will accept any more work between now and Christmas. Right, here's the deal. If you accept another job between now and Christmas, yeah? Yeah? You buy me a lethal weapon pinball machine. No, no, it's too much because that...

Then I'll lose money on the job. Look, also, I'm not taking one off the market. I don't want to peak the price. All right, you get me a drastic part. Well, I've got nowhere to put it. I don't want one. No, but you, look, that you will, but just try and not do too much. I'll buy you.

I'll tell you what, Rob. I'll deliver you a bunch of flowers in the way only you deserve. Do you know what I'd really love? You to commit to having a travel pair of wide headphones. Okay. I'll send you a bunch of flowers. So you can take it on no more work. That's the plan.

Okay. Yeah. Cool. That's good. Good plan. Good plan. I think that definitely good plan if you stick to it, which you won't. Okay.

No. No. People in glass houses. Hey, free as a bird, mate. Me? Great news. The federal EV rebate is back. Eligible customers get up to $5,000 with the federal EVAP rebate on select 2027 volt and

2026 Equinox EV models. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today for more details. Could I ask you about Jamie Lang's podcast? Did you cry? No, I didn't cry on there. No, I tell you what, because I did Jamie Lang's podcast, and I did the way he chose Dish, Angela Hartnett, Nick Grimshaw. Yeah. Yeah.

I cannot believe how many people work on other podcasts. The Dish one, about 35 people in the room. That is, man. They had a bigger crew than when me and Ramesh do Robin Ramesh of actual people filming and recording. It was insane. Sat down, I was like this. And then lovely producer guy was saying,

basically what we're going to, because the way I like doing podcasts is you turn up and you just chat shit and whatever comes up comes up. Yeah. Because I think that's the point of a podcast. And if it beyond that is a produced show, really kind of thing. Yeah. So I was like, are we going to come on with? I went, look, mate, yeah, no, what is I, whatever you need, blah, blah, blah, and then we're going to do this. What, how much do you want to know? I'll be honest with you. I'll really need to know something. So I don't look disrespectful to the audience. Like, I'm completely oblivious to it. Let me know. But if it's just content stuff, I'm happy just to see, I'll quite enjoy whatever happens happens.

Yeah, of course. And it was like, yeah, no, he's telling me. And he was such a lovely guy. And I just said to him, honestly, mate, I've spoken to you more about this episode than I have ever about parenting out in my life. Like, I couldn't believe it. It's a great show.

They call it a show now, not a podcast. That's the new thing. Yeah. Do you know, you heard this? It's not a Vodcast. It's just a show. Well, that's good. That's good.

I think that's a good. But it was good. It was lovely. It was lovely. It was a great time. But I just couldn't believe I'm a new piece. It's not an audience. Start doing a gig.

How many people worked on the Jamie Lang one? That was a bit of smaller, but there was still probably about 10, 12 people in there. Michael. Let's have a chat. Jamie Lang is basically, I love Jamie, but it's Stephen Bartlett,

but with a smile, that great company one. He's trying to Bartlett, yeah, but smiling rather than stern. Look, once your house is done, and then my office is done, and we're going to get in the cameras

and Michael set up, it's going to be sick. Like it was at the start of the year, and Michael was probably rubbing his hands together. I thought, we've got them locked down in actual studios that work, then no, it's renovation time. Well, also, let's add, let's add how many times we used our own studio that we've had since the start of the year?

Zero, absolutely zero. But that's not our own show. That's Michael's studio that for some reason doesn't work or exist. But he was going to lend that to the podcast for us to use. That's not our money. It's not our money in that. Is it Michael? Is it our money in that, Michael?

No, no, no, no. That's entirely my money. Huge mood shift. What? I'll be on the, me and Josh will be in the documentary in 20 years time. You find out Michael was a fraudster. I would say, but I'd say in the spirit of our podcast, you know, we're taking time to adapt. Look, we can only be us.

In a world of AI and fake news, we're real people. We're authentically ourselves. And if ourselves is slightly chaotic and ill-prepared with slightly bad sound and not the best camera, That's us, baby. Chumped down or fuck off. That's what I say. I've got into a YouTuber. Oh, you like YouTubers now, dear?

I've got into a YouTuber. Yeah, go on. This is me now. So I've got into my first YouTuber. Right, okay. So it's a 72 year old man, right? Yeah. And his daughter.

Oh, God. And they... What? It's not a true crime one, is it? No. No, no. It's great. It's so good.

It's right up my street. I don't think you'd like it. it, Rob, but he used to work in music publishing in the 70s and 80s. Right, okay. And she plays him songs from now. Oh, it might be a true crime one. Yeah. She plays him songs from now.

And he has to decide whether he'd sign them or decline them. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. It's really good. And I've got into it. It's all I watched now. I just watched them going through different songs. It's addictive, isn't it?

It is addictive. But anyway, what's quite nice about it? Yeah. They just started it and then it's gone really well and she's quit her job to do it. And it's exactly the opposite of what we were saying about people having too many people. It's just her and her dad doing it.

Nice. Oh, brilliant. Okay, I'll give it listen. Talking of music, we went to the Oasis premiere. Oh, yeah, we did. Oh, I walked into Elizabeth. A couple of things I noticed. Johnny Marr was there from the Smiths.

Yeah. Absolutely legend, right? You had a photo of him. you love him get it then the guys from fontaines dc the main guy yeah the main guy i quite like i like i like that one of the da da da da da da da da da da that song what's that one right yeah the fact the famous one that's part of a intro starbuster that one think they're good you posted them up and i'd say i'm not this is not a dig at fontaine's dc but you said that him and johnny mar were the what is it you said something like was really complimentary are they that good then the fontaine's dc let me find out what you said

Because, or did you just couple in with Johnny Marr? Because it was quite punchy, I thought. No, I think that are the best band of the world in the world at the moment. The best band in the world at the moment? Yeah, I do, yeah. Wow, fair enough. Yeah, so you said, Went to Wasteas, kept my absolute call, met two of the greatest musicians of my lifetime.

Yeah, well, my lifetime's only 43 years. So, but I just, no, Johnny Marr I can take, but I just like, this guy for a new band, that's quite, are they that good then? They've had four albums, Rob. They've had four albums. Well, does he play the guitar, that bloke? Yeah, he will do, yeah. Not on stage.

He sings. He sings, right. Is that a music? Look, I don't... He's written, he's done his own solo album as well. Has he? Right, okay. I just, musician, Johnny Marier, the lead singer, I don't know if that's a musician or not.

I just... Yeah, I don't want to bring down... You describe Liam Gallagher as one of the greatest musicians of your life? No. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, Eversy either. Lyracist. Well, not now.

What's that? Well, no, back there. What's happened to Morrissey now? Oh, no, just that he's, you know, he's problematic, isn't he? Right, okay. No, I was just saying, though, like, that is, I didn't know how big they are, or were you being kind because you wanted to do a cuff? Oh, no, they are big. They are.

They're playing stadiums, Rob. They've just booked. They're just doing the West Ham ground. Oh, that's good. No, I'm not saying they're not good, but I'm just saying as a musician. Let's talk about our trip to our aces. Let's talk about our trip to our ISIS. Yeah, go on.

What do you want to say? We met Pizza Express. We met Pizza Express. Yeah, that was nice. Really air-conditioned that little corner, wouldn't it? And I get hot, and I loved it. Do you know what? I really enjoyed our trip to Pizza Express.

It was lovely. Because we didn't know where to go. Because if we go out together, get a lot of, like, attention and stuff, I found the corner of Pizza Express, Charing Cross. Absolute little safe haven of cold. Oh, glorious. And I walked in, I walked in, and I went,

I'm meeting and he went, he's in the corner. I was like, yeah, great. There you go. Nice and calm. And then we had a lovely time with your mate Kish and with Matt Ford. Yeah. Yeah. And then we did the red carpet.

Yes. The black carpet. I had a bit of a problem on the black carpet. Did you clock this? No. So I did the initial photos, which were facing one way. Yeah. And then there were some more photos facing another way.

Okay. And then Matt Ford, our friend, he was doing the second-angled photos. Yeah. I was filming him doing that, and I backed into Elizabeth Day, who's done this podcast. Yes. Who was doing the first set of photos while she was having her photos done. So is her a photo of you walking into her? Yes.

I'm just so about sending it to you. Well, at least you've got something to talk to her about on your How to Fail, Pod. Here's the photo. Oh, my God. That's so good. That is absolutely perfect. She looks beautiful. It's so cool behind her.

There's like dry ice. There's fans. It's a black carpet. You come in. Fucking Ronnie Corbett. When your shoelace undone? It's so you. It looks like if Elizabeth Day said,

To AI, make, ruin this photo for me. The host of Strictly walking back into shot. Love it. That's great. Yeah. Oh, that was fun. It was a fun night, wouldn't it, hanging out? Yeah, we went in. Sort of people.

Then I went up to Johnny Marr in the street, told him that he was one of the two people in the world I wanted to have a photo with, the other being Paul McCartney. And the Giza from Fontaine's D.C. He's up there as well. Yeah. And then that was outside the premiere. And then I walked to the after party.

Yeah. Different route, got there exactly the same time as Johnny Marr got in the lift. Absolutely the last thing I needed. No, but I said hello to him. I loved John. That was a highlight of the night for me massively. What legend. Did you enjoy yourself?

You had a great time, actually. Really good. Yeah, I did. I tried to get a hotel room. We talk about the tote bags. We did tote fishing. So in the premiere, you go in, and on your chair, everyone's chair, just a sea of tote bags, and in the tote bag, is a poster

rolled up and then merchandise from Oasis. So we all sat down. It was stuff they hadn't sold on the tour. Yeah. So it was like a black t-shirt and then it was like a zip-up black tractsuit jacket. And you got one of these things? You got one of them, yeah. Or there was like a long-sleeve t-shirt.

Like a long-sleeve blue t-shirt or something. There was a short-sleeve-black t-shirt, long-sleeve-black t-shirt, and then a black zip-up track seat top. So he sat down. I get a medium t-shirt. I'm livid. It's never getting on me. So I did a little thing I like to do at these events

called tote bag fishing. Yeah. Where you just wander around, checking all the sizes and swap them over. And it's great fun. Because we were early in our seats. So there was a lot of empty tote bags. You've got to be early though.

You've got to be early. You cannot be doing that. You can't tote fish if someone's at the seat. That's the rule. And you can't tote fish if there's too many people in there to watch a tote fish. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it's good fun.

And then, do you tell you I nick the pint glasses from the party? Did you? So I nicked, because on it was a, I'll send you the photo. It had an Adidas logo. Yeah. And Oasis written on these pint glasses. I was like, that is a bit of me. Yes, please, right?

Nick then. Came home, but obviously they were in my bag, but I had to wrap them in the free t-shirt. I got to stop and clinking as I left. Of course, of course, yeah. Get home. Obviously, they stink of beer and all that. So I put them in the dishwasher, go bed, wake up, open the dishwasher, it's been washed off.

I don't know what they used. Because that's better for them because then they're reusable. Yeah. So it's a quick, so obviously then they just re, rather than having like 200 oasis pint glasses. Yeah. So annoying. But they must have had so many stolen

because you weren't the only person who told me they were going to steal their pint glass. Of course. Everyone was going to steal it. It's like great. And so, but then maybe they do that to stop. We've seen it. Now I know. But then how often am I going to be at a waces, premier, pint glass, stealing situation?

Exactly. But that's great, but it's nice hanging out. So you're having such a good time. You almost got a hotel room. Yeah, I needed to be in London at 9 a.m. So we got it. It was about 11 o'clock. I had to be in London at 9 a.m.

for a doctor's appointment. Because that mole, I had my mole cut out. They put five stitches in and had to go in from to take stitches out. Results come back. Nothing more to do. No cancer. Jobs are good in. So.

Great. Good news, good news. Good news, good news all around. So I was like, I... Particularly with Mammy, garage problems. By the time I get back, then come in again. Also, charring cross station had been shut, so I thought I got hotel room, didn't get hotel room,

but I was having a great time. It was nice hanging out for a non-work thing. It was lovely, wasn't it? Very chilled. I had two beers. You didn't drink, obviously. We all floated out. Matt Ford was there.

It was really nice to see Matt Ford, because Matt Ford, such a brilliant person and comedian. Oh, Roshin Connety was there as well. Yeah, she had to go back to Liverpool. But like Matt, massive Oasis fan. And then before Oasis reunited, he obviously had his terrible spinal cancer, horrendous sort of recovery from that.

And now he's walking around and no sticks. He was watching the Oasis premiere and had footage of the Oasis Los Angeles gig that he managed to go to and stood up and watched. And it was quite a lovely moment watching him enjoy that, knowing what he'd been through and he'd gone there and that. So it's great. It was a brilliant night.

A lovely night. A lovely night. Fun time had by. Yeah, it felt like, it felt a bit like pre-kids. We don't do those things. I don't really like those things. No, I never go to stuff like that. When I walked in, I thought this is my living hell. It was all right, though, once we were in.

Yeah, once I found my seat, but I just hate walking into a room of people I don't know. Yeah. You're like a nana at a christening. I don't know what it is, because it's not like there's someone I don't want to bump into. It's like I don't like to walk into a big, and suddenly you don't know who you're going to be talking to. Yeah, and I think that's weirdly, even though you're a comedian, you have control over being the person on stage where we were in the audience.

You're sort of just floating around chatting. And you did, yeah, you got really clammy in a bit. I've never seen you like that before, but you don't love it, do you? Well, Toby Tarrant does that to me. But, yeah, that was good night. What else was there to, those other things I want to talk to you about? I can't remember. Was there anything else you want to say?

Is that about the... Well, I'll talk you through my parenting weekend, Rob. I'll go on yet. I'll do mine as well. Went to a party at the bowling alley. They've refurbed the bowling alley in Exeter Rob. Oh, really? What is it, tempin now?

Now I've got an escape. Do you know what's gone from? 22 to 25 lanes. How have they done that? I don't know. I was speaking to the owner who's like, we've got 25 lanes now. I was thinking, fair play.

I didn't... I've never been... in there, I've only been there a couple of times, I've never thought, do you know what, all 22 lanes are taken here, they need a few more. But fair play. They've got an escape room, they've got laser tag, they've got soft play. Someone has thrown a lot of money at the exit of bowling alley and fair play. So what's it called? What's the venue called? 10 pin or something, I don't know. So is it like in the shopping centre or is it a big standalone unit? It's down by the river, in a building.

Is that helpful? Yep. Next to a new paddle place that Slashinger have built. Oh. You're not going to play paddle, are you? No. Oh, but do you know what? Do you know what I've done, Rob?

Go on. I've joined Dad's football WhatsApp group. To chat about it or to play? To play. Yes. Here we go. I've not been able to play since it started up again. Because my shoulder, my shoulder actually,

a procedure. Oh, have you? Yeah, of course. I'd have to have two weeks off sport, actually, and it's driven to fucking mad because I've got so much energy. Yeah. So what are you going to do when you back off the injury list? Back tomorrow.

Back tomorrow. Well, basically... How do you go for a run? Surely you could go for a run? Well, to be honest, it's right on a weird bit of my shoulder that moves a lot. And I don't want it to... It won't hurt, but I don't want the cut to split and make the scar worse. So I'm going to go for a run today, but it's been two weeks now.

sit normally on a exercise bike and just cycle with your legs. Yeah, maybe like that. But to be fair, I've just been going on long walks. Oh, nice. Nice. Yeah. So I've got a bit of exercise. So are you going to play? When is the game? Yeah, but I'm off injured at the moment because I'm not very well. Oh, because of your arson penis. Well, no, because I get asthma when I'm not well. I'm definitely under the weather because my asthma's come on. Oh, God. So I might be back next week. I don't know. So when do they play evenings, mornings, mornings, afternoons, week? Monday evening.

Monday evenings. There we go. Seven aside. Seven. Oh, that's a big pitch. Is that big? Seven. It depends on, unless they're really cramming. They're either understaff for an eight aside pitch or they're cramming a five aside. Oh, God. You'll be right. Just sit at the back, pass it about.

I don't want to sit at the back. When you run, do your feet slap? A bit, yeah. Yeah, I bet you're a bit of a feet slapper. I am a bit of a feet slapper, yeah. They pound down. I'd say, if anyone on the, on the feet slapper, you know, I'd say, if anyone on the pitch is going for a divorce, don't go in for a 50-50 tackle.

Okay, why? Well, because they're currently going for a 50-50 life split as well, so they're a bit angrier. If anyone's going for a divorce, don't bother to them. Just let them have that moment where they, you know, go past you. It's not worth it. Right, it's time to get into a special part of today's podcast called September Reset. Well, we'll be telling you how are we getting through back-to-school season after chaotic Now this segment is brought to you by Monzo helping you organise your money this September and maybe even double your salary.

Yeah, Rob, it's intense, isn't it? It's intense. I'm excited though. That sound you made. What's that, what's that communicating to us? Excited for the end of summer and kids going back to school, getting in a routine, but it's not easy. It's not easy, Rob. I'm worried. The bedtimes. Are you going to creep them back down or are you just going to go all in on the first day? Well, they go in on a Friday, weirdly, for the first day, because I think new starters, like reception, is a Thursday. So I think I'm just going to just let them be tired that day, recover at the weekend. It's going to be problematic.

Yes. My children were in their pyjamas until 3pm today, and they only got out because I went into town with them because I'd run out of ideas for other things to do. Did they change or stay in the pyjamas? They changed. They changed. What has been on your Josh as a man, as a human, not dad, not husband, not podcaster? What are you going to get sorted in September that you haven't been out to do? As one of Britain's premier runners, I've stopped running.

Ah, okay, so when are you getting back? When's the first run? The first run, but I'm working the first three days there at school as well. I want to start running again. I want to get my life back together generally. That's what I want to do, Rob. My aim for September is to re-establish myself. as a human being.

And Mr. Saturday night. And also work on my photography. I worry, though, Josh, when they do go back to school, all that extra time we're going to get will just evaporate. Of course. Of course, Rob. Are your kids ready for school? I'm paranoid that their shoes don't fit anymore.

We've bought them bigger shoes, Rob. And now my son is saying that his shoes are too big. Well, you can't have it both ways. You've just got used to having shoes that hug your feet. You've got to move up a size here. The truth is, I don't ever really get kids shoes that fit. They're way too small when I make them grind it out, or they're way too big because they'll grow into them.

Yeah. I'd love them to come up to me, go, Dad, it's been three months, but my shoes finally fit now. I go, good to know. Exactly. Exactly, Rob. September can be a struggle, but it can be a little easier with Monzo's salary sorter on payday.

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Eligible payments via backs and faster payments only and based on previous month's salary. Minimum salary payment £300, capped at £10,000. So I've joined the Dad's football group. Yeah. Also, I went to the party. Then we went to Heavitree Fund Day. Heavitri Fund Day, what's that? Heavitri is an area of Exeter.

They had a fun day in the park. Did you have fun time? A lot of 3D printed things. I think fates and fun days are fucking shit. I had a good time. I hate them. It's fucking shy. All you do is wander around and your kids ask for shit, like that plastic crap,

or they ask for cotton candy, or you've got to pay eight quid for them to go on a shit bouncy castle, some sort of loose neck dudes rocked up in a transit van and thrown up. You don't know where it's come from, what it is. has never been cleaned. Your kids run around that. They don't get foot of mouth and then come back to buy a shit Pokemon

that's just been printed off in a warehouse last night. Hate it. And then you get bullied by the charities. Not for you then? No, not for me. I don't know. It's a load of shit.

I don't mind a bit of Tombola and there's games and stuff like that, but when it's just stall selling crap, it's pointless. Okay. Did you like it? Did you enjoy it? You enjoyed yourself, did you?

I did enjoy it? What's your favourite part? My favourite part I had some A lovely food from a Greek van Lovely food from a Greek yeah Yeah Just seeing the smiles on children's faces

It's probably my favourite part What was you running the 3D printer still Or they've all got those needos Or those dumplings The illegal ones that could like burn their hands If they open them Yeah there was dumplings There was dumplings going around

We had a busy Saturday morning Birthday party And do you know what It was it it smarted a bit, but actually, I'm all for it, an early birthday party on a Saturday. Yeah, I went to a 10 a.m. or on Saturday. 9.15 at Lush. What and what?

Yeah. Lush, you know what Lush is? I didn't know Lush did birthday parties? Lush, do? You basically make your own bath bombs in the shop. Right, okay. So I was like, oh, but you know what? I was up at seven anyway.

The kids got, I'll go get a breakfast, in the car, because it's a drop-off. We have got to realize how lucky. I don't know if you do it with your youngest. being able to drop your kid off at a party rather than hanging around waiting for him is one of the greatest moment. Yeah, I didn't do that because most youngest is five. It's one of the greatest moments of parenthood

is when all parties are drop-offs and you can just go bang, see in two hours. So I dropped my daughter off at 915, came back, walked the dogs, had a bit of breakfast, done a few jobs, then went and picked her up and then took a clothes shopping because she needed some clothes.

I love going shopping with her. I loved it. Yeah. It's sort of seen as like dad going clothes shopping with the door. I think it's brilliant. I think it's really fun. You can chat about what they're wearing.

And I think this is that really old-school thing of like, oh, when my dad you say, you're not going out like that, where I'm like, I'll obviously when they're like 17, 15 or whatever, going out of opinions on what they're wearing, whatever. But I think if you put in the work early doors where you talk about outfits and clothes and show a bit of interest, then as you're coming from it from a joint perspective, not just sitting in your armchair, shouting you ain't going out like that. I love going clothes shopping. Well, if you make clothes joyful,

and a point of connection rather than a battlefield. So I really enjoyed it, and I found it fun. And then, like, I don't know, it's a nice thing to do. We're trying to do more stuff where we split the girls. So, like, I'll have one on one time with one and Lou has on the other. And then we swap because otherwise I just get bundled in us too. But I've really enjoyed it. And bought a load of clothes and then came back.

And then I watched two games of football. actually a lovely Saturday. Lovely, lovely Saturday. We've been doing a lot of Lego. I mean, the leg, my son's lover Lego is, he loves Lego. He's really, is it escalated? Lego City. It's great, though.

This is the thing, I fucking love it as well. It's so good. The standard of Lego these days is off the scale. So is the price. Well, yes, it is Rob, but... That's the issue. It is pricey, but... If you've had fake Lego.

It is good. It's pricey, but it is a good product. I've got, I just finished a Donkey Kong one. Well, you can actually play Donkey Kong on it. Can you? Yeah. The barrels come down. You have a little marrow.

You make jump. You press the bat and he jumps. Part of me is thinking about getting into it myself. It's fun. It is fun. What would get you in? Nostalgia stuff? How about a SNES?

No, no. I don't like the things where you're just building an object. I've got loads in it. Do you want to show yourself? Go on. I've seen what I've got in here. He's been waiting for this for four years. I've got Ghostbusters, a car.

Yeah, so I like that. I tell you why I like that, Rob. Yeah. Because it's a car or a vehicle or something that moves. What I don't like is when you see, like, the World Cup and you're just building a big object. Do you know what I mean? Well, I do have that as well, but I'll show you another vehicle.

Don't worry. But I know, this is good podcasting a lot, but it's fucking happening. Here we go, Josh. Here we go. Oh, God, this. Oh, God. I forgot how much I've got. Land Rover?

What, just a normal Land Rover? Little theatre car. I don't like cars. Right, I'm going to stop doing this, because I can't eat you. I'm going to drop this in a minute. It's going to go, but I've got a Lamborghini up here as well.

Are you a petrol head? And the superstar, Adidas trainer. Just come back. Just come back now. Let I'm in the offer to give you a full tour, Josh. Fuck. Tell you what the problem was there. You couldn't hear me because of your wired headphones.

I know. I knew you was going to say that, you little bitch. I forgot you're a petrol head. A lot of those car ones I did in lockdown where I just was desperately needed to do stuff. You were hanging out with Clarkson though this week, weren't you? Oh yeah, I went to the NTAs, the National Television Awards. Yeah, strictly well.

Did it? Well, done. Congratulations. Well, wasn't us? Well, no, that was the old guard. So it's like, now actually you could have done with them losing that. No, I would, no, because the spirits were high the next day. Of course, yeah, because you're a team player. Yeah. Absolutely, yeah.

Fair enough. And now you're joining a winning team. Exactly. I am Bruno Gwilemarez or whatever he's called. Gumeres. Gomeres. It's a tough name to say. No, I went to NTAs, gave out an award.

I was sitting backstage in between Clive Myrie, Jeremy Clarkson. Of course. You've reached an age. What a meeting of minds that was. I learned a lot. I sat. I actually hung back. So when you say between them, were you on set seats,

or did you three gravitate to each other as kind of, you know, the three middle-aged man? I walked to, fuck you. You're not grouping me in the same age as Clarkson and Myrie. However, Clive Myrie looked the best out of all three of us. I bet he did. He looks great. Clarkson looks great for Clarkson. For Clarkson.

But I wouldn't say anyone's thinking, are you that guy's older brother to me? and I found out that one in eight white men get prostate cancer one in four black men get prostate cancer what a mad's that was this the conversation with you Clarkson Amari yeah it was of course it is because you're up an age where that you're up in age where that is the discussion so you were sat down and you were like guys we're all in the danger zone

We've all reached an age. No, no, no, no. We've all reached an age. I did not bring that conversation up. I was very much a part of that conversation. It was actually brought up by Clarkson, which I thought was punching. Of course it was. Of course.

I'm not very on brand. I thought that was Clive Myrie's point to bring into the chat. I slightly worried Clarkson was using it. He went. He said, we'll talk about Preston Kaz. It was like, as well, you know, because it's one in eight. So everyone needs to get. It's really positive.

It's like, people should get checked. they can do all these different things now. As he just had it, sorry. I think he might have, yeah, I'm not sure, but that's why it came up. And then he was sort of, then he said, you know, obviously, like,

it's one in eight, so it's terrible statistics. And he, and then he was like, and obviously, for you Clive, it's even, you know,

it's even like a higher probability. And I went, what, journalists? I was like, why a Clark? Like, I was thinking,

what about Clive? Like, what? And then Clive was like, yeah, one in eight, one and four black men. I was like, right.

You know that Clive's got two anuses. Of course. Of course. That's why he's on that big soft seat or mastervine. Clive Murray's famous. Of course. I can't believe that I thought it was about race. He's famous.

You've got to try to much chance, Clive. You've got two digestive system. I tell you what he needs to get checked out. My florist. But that's good. And then did you talk about how films are too loud these days? No. What was he also talking about?

How you can't say anything these days? No, what are we talking? We were commented a lot on what was going on the telly because obviously he was all watching the TV and watching the show as it was happening. So was there other groups of people that were grouped by age and gender as well? Was there like some young girls sitting together and then like the old blokes were together? No, so basically I was in there for quite a long period because I got there too early. So I walked in and there was the guys from in the line of duty.

And did they give their seats up for you, Clive and Jeremy, so you could all rest you're where he lives? No, there was loads of seats. There was loads of seats. It felt a bit like a doctor's waiting room, ironically. What you're waiting for? Finger up the ass. Anyway, yeah, so there was a line of duty were there.

So we said a lot to them. And then the farmers, Clarkson's farmer choir were there because they sang. So they sat with us for a bit. then they went and then Caleb came in and Charlie from Clarkson's Farm and then Joe Swash and Stacey Solomon came in so it was a bit of a

and then I saw Gordon Ramsey How come you were in for this whole thing and everyone was just upping and leaving and coming and going Because I said I didn't want to sit in the auditorium Oh So you Clyde and Jeremy I'd said you didn't want to sit in the auditorium I don't know I'm not sure if they didn't

Well Jeremy wasn't there for a bit because he was up for an award So a lot of the people that they were up for awards But I wasn't so I was like It's a bit mental to sit there if I'm not up from the wall, I should just come on and give one out. And then I saw Gordon Ramsey and then obviously Joel Domit and stuff. So it's fun actually. Nice.

Nice evening. Yeah, nice. Yeah. And then our next day I was so tight. It's quite a tiring event. What a conversation. What a conversation. Imagine your life has led to this moment that you're discussing the different, you know,

probabilities of races getting prostate cancer at the NTAs with Clive Myra and Jeremy Clive. Our life is so weird. I know. I was like, where's all the Coke and hose? What's going on? Yeah. So rock and roll TV. Yeah.

But yeah, no, they're lovely guys. Claude Meyer was talking about he does his show up in Belfast where they do Mastermind. Mastermind, yeah, yeah. Nice little chat. No, so it's all good. Good, nice. What a week.

What a week. You go to our AISS and you go to the NTAs. Then then quite humbling on Saturday. though. I was in the High Street in Bromley with my daughter. I was trying to find out where next was, okay, because I couldn't remember. Yeah. But I've got my new, I've implemented, this is, we'll talk about this after, but I've got a personal phone now. You Johnny drug dealer phone? Yeah, I've got my drug dealing phone. Um, so I've got my personal. Um, so I've got my personal phone now. So I'm struggling to work out to use it, right? Because I don't

normally have it. I'm sorry. Could you tell me about the split again? I can't remember the split because you just seem to be replying to my text. So are they personal? Oh, we'll talk about the split in a minute. But at the moment, you need to know, I'm on my new phone, okay? Yeah. Come out, so I'm stood, I'm normally quite quick through the high street. I'm stood there. So a lady on a bench goes, hello.

I'm like, hello, you're all right. She goes, you don't half look like that bloke off the telly, that rock bloke. And I went, oh yeah, I'll get that a lot, you know. And she went, yeah, you do look like him. I like him. Most people don't, but I think he's all right. We should do all that. Yeah, pissing herself.

Brilliant. Anyway, the other thing she always brings up and around, I've told you this before, the old bloke who saw me with my whipit and said, you're my dog skinny, have I told you this story? No. It was an old bloke used to live where we used to live, old Italian giza, shuffling about it. I don't know how old he was, or if he was really old, if he was a bit younger, but wasn't, you know, at full health.

And he used to walk his little dog. He had a little, like, furry dog. And he said to me once, your dog is skinny. but you is fat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Um, um, now so the phone stitch, do you want to know my phone stitch? Yeah. Got another phone.

Yeah. Yeah. So basically, I need a new sim for it. If you do any, I did an e-sim. I thought, I'm a modern guy. I don't need to wait for a bit of plastic. No sim. I'm an e-sim, dude.

So I bought an e-sim and I'll be delivered. This was last Saturday. It'll be delivered in one to two days or three to five days, whatever. Just hasn't turned up. But they didn't. email me, because all you need is the QR code, really, and you scan that, it's activated. But they don't email, they don't email at you. They send you it on a bit of paper. So I was like, what this fucking meant all that? Why not just email me the QR code? I open it on my desktop

with my new phone, scan it, E-Sim. Why are we waiting for the post? It's fucking mental. I thought it wouldn't come in the post. That's why I did E-Sim. Anyway, so eventually it came after like eight days or something. So I've got a new phone that is, yeah, Same model. I'm still on my work one. They've got another number. Yeah. But the only people have got my number of the other one,

like Lou and like family member. My mom, at the moment, only Lou my mum has got it. Yeah. And then I have that. So it's got all my like Spotify, Maps, parking, all that stuff. My card's on it to pay. Instagram, TikTok. No, no social media at all.

Great. Right. It's got YouTube on it, but I've disabled shorts. I can't watch shorts on it. Right. So I've got no social media on whatsoever. And then the plan is like nine till six, I have my work phone that I've been replying to you on.

And then at the weekends, I'll check this a couple of time to reply to messages like for 10, 20 minutes and turn it off, put it in the drawer. It's good. Then all weekend, I've got my new phone. And then when I go on holiday, I'm always going to have my work phone with me. But it will be like, turn on, check, turn it off, go out for the day. And I've got a phone that I can. It's good.

And it's really working. And I've only had it for the weekend. but at 6 o'clock, turn this off, and then I've got a phone that I need to do, if I need to do stuff with, or checks things or look at normal stuff. So, WhatsApp. It's got WhatsApp on it,

but only a handful of people have got my number. I'm only going to give my age in it and say, call me that in an emergency. And then I feel so disconnected from the world in a nice way, even though I've still got a phone and can do normal stuff. Yeah, that's good. I'm not being dragged into career stuff,

because I was and just got a loop. Well, I don't think career stuff is much. my problem. What's your problem on your phone? It's aimless scrolling. It's a hundred percent aimless scrolling. Yeah, but then, but aimless scrolling is a big problem, but because of my algorithm, it just drags me into stuff that's sort of comedy entertainment stuff as well as, and then I'm thinking about that, you know, I'm thinking of ideas or this or that, you know what I mean? So it's a combination of the both. Right. I don't think mine is career. I think mine is desperate

Instagram and then just the WhatsApp and the internet because I don't know someone said to me a good thing of like when you're scrolling and you're because it's addictive it's got to

this algorithm thing's got to be stopped is mental it's insane the way it just like it's like I can just burn three hours doing nothing is like rather than going I don't know if I said tell me if I told you this last week I might have told you in person

someone said rather than scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling and going I'm not even enjoying this why am I doing it Why am I doing this? Because that's what you're feeling is and you can't stop. Yeah. I'm not even enjoying this.

Why am I still doing this? I'm still doing it. I'm still doing it. I'm going to go, what, what am I trying to not feel by doing this? Yeah. What emotion and what thing is sort of, am I trying to use this scrolling to distract myself from? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.

I pull myself away from or dull my mind from. Because I'm using scrolling the same way as I'd use four pints in the pub after work. Yeah, it feels like I wasn't a smoker. But it feels like, oh, I'm stressed. I'll just scroll. Yes. And that's what I was using it for, which wasn't. I use it a lot when I'm ill.

So when I'm not well at a moment, tired, when I'm tired, it's my way of, if I can't go to sleep, but I'm, oh, I had an awful time in Dublin airport, Rob. Not in Dublin Airport, in Heathrow Airport. So after Strictly, obviously we had a drink. It's meant to get to go and do that Dublin. I got to the Heathrow Hotel. at quarter to two in the morning.

But when you rescheduled it, you didn't know that you were going to be doing the Strictly first show, did you, obviously? So you finished the Strictly show and then went to Heathrow for 2 a.m. Yeah. Oh, I wonder you were talking.

Right, so you get to Heathrow at 2 a.m. Woke up. I'd had like, woke up at like 10 or something. I was so tired. I was like, this is mad. I'd just get up, go to the airport, go to Terminal 5, just get a table and press.

and then I'm just sat there and they're like plane delayed an hour and all I'm thinking is I've just got to stay awake here because I just want to at one point I genuinely thought I might go to the toilet and get in a cubicle and lie on the floor and set my alarm for half an hour. That's how tired I was. Do you think a testile used to do that? No, I don't. I don't think she did. I think she might have had a bit more of a well-managed diary in the regard of like... Yeah, she wasn't gigging in Dublin.

No. But at the time, you didn't know that you were going to be doing that, to be fair. So it's not, you know, it wasn't by design. It was by... No, it's just bad luck. And it had to be done because it had already been rescheduled, so I'm not going to reschedule it again. Great place to go for a gig, though. At least you're going there.

It was pleasant. It was very fun, really nice. But I was just so, so tired. But in those situations, I can't read music. But you can scroll. You can scroll. That's a real scrolling situation, isn't it?

Yes. Because it's like, if I try and read, I haven't got it in me. But it's toxic. 100%. So that's, that's, we can know. And I do think what did people do before the phones in this situation? I think they smoked. I genuinely think people will look back on photos of all of us on trains and at places

scrolling on train station platforms or on the, train scrolling the same way as we look at back at people smoking on the tube and go, I can't believe they all did that. I disagree because I think this is going to go on and get worse and worse and worse. No, I think it might, I think it's going to hit a bit of a turning point.

I hope so. I hope so. There's so much fake shit on your algorithm now, like AI stuff where stuff used to be exciting to see now. I don't even know what I'm seeing anymore. It's becoming a bit of a blurge. So I think what people will want is real grassroots, authentic

stuff. Like, wouldn't it be cool to go to a gig that you only knew about through posts? Like, for example, if I did a lot of work in progress gig, but just put posters up in Bromley. Yeah. And did no push on social media. I tell you who'd be coming, that woman. I don't know. I just think, especially the younger generations must find it so icky how much their parents

are on their phone. Surely there's going to be a punk movement of grassroots stuff that's really local, like the antithesis of you really hope so capitalism of just and globalisation of just like no this is ours this is real this is happening

and live because everything else is sort of so false well Rob that is what this you know warts and all podcast is all about oh that yeah

that's why we're here seeing if Josh is going to shit himself during the show because he's at a Seneca see you next time for those first do the small listen shout out Now it's time for small business shout out, brought you by Vista Print, your expert print partner to help you bring your ideas to life.

Rob, talk to me about how VistaPrint can help you with your small business. Here's an idea. First of all, I hate badly printed merch. Right. You know, when you go somewhere, you've got to see a new band or something, you want their merch, and it's ruined in one go in the washing machine. It's heartbreaking. The mug when you think, I can't dry clean this. not dry clean it i can't dry clean it i don't know how dry cleaning works sure you've got to give it

i never understood it i've never understood it rob i'm never gonna i'm never gonna i'm never gonna imagine you're starting a new dry cleaning business you've got some merch yeah you want it printed well because that mug it's right you're a dry cleaning business doing your own merch for the dry cleaning business exactly fair enough it's a popular dry cleaning business yeah and what is the new band doing pressing trousers in the interval exactly yeah do you know what i love a branded t-shirt for a small business. Yeah. So building firms.

Yeah. We had a building firm and they came and they've all got the matching polo shirts. Yeah. With the matching logo and they all look clean. They all look smart. And at that point, I don't care what they're doing to my foundations. I trust the polo. Exactly.

Trust the polo. It looks different. So they look like a professional outfit. Because they're wearing a professional outfit. Exactly. Right. Small business. Yes.

Hi. Josh, Robert, Michael. I'd like to nominate my super big sis is rather special. An award will in Marmalade. Speak to me. Preserve business. Stoco House. Stokeau House. Stoker? I live in Australia so unfortunately can't do much to help her business from hit there, but surely nominating her for a small business shout out makes up for me not being able to buy her yummy jams. I'm going to say it, you can take

marmalade a long distance, just does Paddington. Absolutely. Meet him in Peru for a quick switchover. Exactly. She lives in a tiny little village up in Cumbria, called Gary Gill. Gary Gill sounds like a geez my dad. She used to do tarmac in it. And a few years ago, started the business as a solid line. She uses fresh organic fruits, often handpicked,

and she cooks and prepares everything herself. Oh, here we go. All of the products are delicious. Think pickled pears. Apple and fennel chutney. Yamoli Yomington Raspberry Jam. Yep, that is a real name. It's a name a few.

She's won multiple awards, and this year finally won double gold at the World Marmalade Awards. Yes! I can't believe you've done. that hosted that awards. For her traditional Seville orange marmalade. Oh wow.

Check out our website to see the full range and place and order online. It's www.w-stoke-house or s-tok-o-e-house.com.com. She works so hard sterilising, picking, peeling and shopping and cooking and we're so proud of her. Thanks to your support.

Allie. Good morning. Rob, Josh and Michael. Good morning. I hope you're well. I'd love to give my husband's business Edduplay Creations UK, a small business show

out if possible. He's worked incredibly hard on it, truly deserves it to pay off. Edgy play, designs and hand crafts, outdoor play and learning equipment for children. Things like mud kitchen, sensory tables, outdoor play setups that encourage kids to get outside, get messy and burn off some energy. Alongside working with schools and nurseries, we also create bespoke pieces for families at home, including send friendly designs, S-E-N-D, not as in easy to send through the post. No, no. Many of our products are adapted to be more accessible and inclusive,

supporting children with additional needs through sensory play and hands-on learning. For example, we've just completed a project, creating accessible planters for children using wheelchairs so everyone could be involved in outdoor learning. Amazing. Everything's made to order here in. Come on, Rob, have a guess. It'll be somewhere up north. Where do we always get them in from?

Kent. And built to survive both kids and the parents. British weather. When I tell you what, you don't need to worry about that. This, oh God. Oh, God. You can find us on Instagram

at EDU Play Creations, UK. Are you spelling that? Like, Edu, the former Arsenal midfielder, EDU, play creation, like the record label. Love it. Like a snake.

And then UK, like the country. The country, yeah. Our website, www. edu, the Arsenal Footballer play as in the Moby album creation as in the record labels

as in the snake UK as in the country.com thank you so much for everything you do stay sexy and relatable from Freya absolutely perfect no pointers no comments Vistaprint.co.com.uk Print your possible to get 15% off your first vistaprint order visit vistaprint.combo.uk

and use the code Pounding hell 15 There we go small business shout out all done all done Dusted. Now, good luck to those businesses and Josh. To add even more Jeopardy, we're going to record another episode of this straight after. Yeah. Let's see if the Seneca takes hold. Let's see if the medication takes hold. Well, Josh shit himself special, 2026. Bye. Bye.