Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP1: My Son Hates His Own Home

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

We're back!! Series 6 starts here with the first new episode of 2023 and more misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Teenager. This is... Hi Rob and Josh. This is from Good name. Helen, oh I don't, she's not put a surname in the, at the end, so I won't use it from the email. God, what a start. Hi, Robin Josh. Thanks for that, mate. some things can be internalized on this show. Yeah, well, Rob, to be accused of not internalizing enough

from Rob Beckett it's seven hours, I'll tell you. Rob, you've spent the last 10 years of your career just saying what comes into your head. Yeah, yeah, true. Yeah, that is me. I'm just trying to be more Beckett. Yeah, but I'm not worried about people's anonymity and emails. No I know, all right, so this is Helen Bacon.

Hi Rob and Josh, was it worth it? Is it bacon or you made that up? It is, her name's Helen Bacon. Was it worth it? Hella Bacon! Hella Bacon. That's a toughthe world to a vegan, Helen Bacon. Look at that, that was quick, on it. That was good.

You see that's the big, just it comes in your head and out it comes. Do you know what, sometimes I'm just not really aware of how good I am. Hi Robin Josh, this is my 15-5-512, which is 12. It feels too many months for a 12. Yeah, no, it is right. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. I's th. th. th. th. I's. I's. I's to. to. to. to. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And........................................................................ it is right. She's almost 13. I love the podcast and can often be seen laughing out loud listening to it as I go for a run. Gets me some funny looks but who cares? Thanks for being so sexy and relatable. Helen 38 from Bedfordshire Rob. Been to Bedfordshire bacon. It's known for that. I had a curry last night, Kentish lamb it said on the menu. I've never really had a county specific lamb request in my life. No. No. No. No. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. to th. to th. I to th. I to th. I to to to to to to th. I'm to th. I to th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I'm the the the the. I'm the the the the the the the the the thee. I the theeeeeee. I'm theeeee. I'm thee. I'm the. on the menu. I've never really had a county-specific lamb request in my life. No, but did it feel like you're eating one of your own?

It tasted a bit like fumes from the A20. So pretty Kentish. That was lovely, it's very nice actually. I'm glad. I'm glad. We should say people have spoken and we've listened, we always listen, within reason. So we've listened haven't we. We always listen within reason. So we've removed, or Michael has, the sound effects from the theme tune. Yes, the dog barking, the alarms. Yes. Tell me, Rob, when was the last time you heard that theme tune? I'd say the last time I heard that theme tune was heavily during lockdown.

What I'd say is I found out about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dogs in the intro now. I don't listen back. I assume it's good. People keep listening. I assume it's fine. People keep telling me. I'd say Michael's not being overloaded with notes in the three year. I'm not a sort of a hands-on guy. I mean I'm not one of those actors that wants to get behind the camera and direct. I'm very much, you know, I'd say as a producer, Michael isn't one of those people that gives you a huge amount of direction and I mean that as a compliment. Oh yeah, no, we're having debriefs after the record. No, it's very very we sit down and he goes, you too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. I's, I. I. I. I. I's, I's, I. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, in, I's, I's, I's, I's thi, I'm, I'm very, I'm thi, I'm thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the thin, I'm, I'm th thin There's a few things you've been doing wrong. Occasionally he'll politely tell me that I'm far too far from the mic, and I will forget that within three minutes.

Quite fundamental stuff. You still haven't bought headphones. No, but the good news is Rob. I just sent a picture of a microphone to Michael yesterday and said, should I buy this new microphone? Yeah, new microphone and he said I should buy one of the, I am, yeah. New Year, new me. So people will be able to hear me. And what are you getting? Should I have to get the same issue?

Well Michael then came back and said that I should buy one of those ones. Sorry, was that a little man in your room? Was that you're a little man? What do you mean? It's like when you that a little the the the the the the the to mean, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was a, was a little, was a little, was a little, was a little, th. th. th. th. to, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to me. the to me. th. to. th. a box. I was trying to cover it up. It's like when you got a little bit of nut in your mouth, you sort of pretend you're not eating yogurt. Well, that's the thing. You're going to get caught out now because we're recording these. So we're going to get better cameras as the year goes on, but we're recording these and you look like Doc from back to the future of your hair. What do you mean? So basically what we do is we're recording. Why's my hair like that? I know, so it's just gonna be quite funny because we're recording ourselves

but we don't like seeing each other so we're minimizing zoom. But what you do is Josh, when the show's on, you put your hands through your hair, and it gets bigger and bigger But this would be quite interesting. And you're going to get a lot of video footage of me, just sort of looking around the room like that when you're talking. But I'm still listening, it's just who I am, Josh. Yeah, just who you are, exactly.

Who I am. So we've been listening. It's a new series. We're back, it's a new year. We're going to talk about your second part of your, end, end, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, and, just, it, just, just, just, just, just, just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the, and, their.. their. their. their. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the to. the the the the to. the th th Christmas a new year and we'll be back with guests next week, but we do want to hear from you if there's anything you want to know more about, or we don't cover or things we forgot to update you on. So any things that you want to hear us talk about, let us know because you know we're here to serve you. I'm not listening back so it's no point me doing things. No, it's very very to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the thi the thi the thi thi thi the thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so tho, so tho, so thi, so thi, so tho, so tho, so tho, so tho, so tho, so tho, so their their their their their their their their their tho, so tho, so th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiii's thoooooooooooooooooooo. thi. thi's thi, thi. things. No, it's very difficult for me and Rob to critique the show. Yeah, yeah,

I am categorically not watching it or listening to it. And also the most gawling thing, I love podcasts. This is one of the few podcasts I never listen to. The greatest tragedy Josh Winnipegho's. The greatest tragedy, Josh Winnocken, Josh Winnocken, ticket. The problem for me, Rob, is I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, is you, is you, is you, is you, is you, is you, is that, is that, is that, is the problem, is the problem, is that, I, I, I, I'm, I'm that, I'm th. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not th. I'm not th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that th that that th thi. I am thi. I am th that. That's the real tragedy of Josh Winnockham is. You'll never be out to buy a Josh Winnickom ticket. The problem for me, Rob, is I'm the only comedian peddling the kind of 90s, nostalgic shit that I'd be really into. You'd love you. I'd love me. Would you like your act? I think I would. The thing is, when sometimes comedians get told off for laughing at their own jokes, it's sort of a bit of a thing, I just sort of think, well if I don't think it's funny, what's the point? Yeah, yeah. I've got to find it funny, haven't I? There's no point bringing it up.

Exactly. Well, welcome to the new year. We're just going to tease, the way to tease towards the end. That's another new feature. Oh yeah, yeah, that's coming later. So better quality video cameras are coming. A better quality mic, send me the link to that mic and I'll get it. And also... Michael wants me to get one on an arm, like I'm a kind of American Shock. I've got to take a headphone jack from I'd probably say 2011. I've got an arm thing that I bought off Amazon for 599 which is I'll be honest if yet, not fit for purpose really, doesn't really stand the right position. And I've got a microphone that I found in my drawer that I got given from something. That's that's the situation at the moment.

Be honest job. Did you steal it from Radio 2? Let's don't get bogged down about which radio station. But if the timeline matches up, then... But there's a reason why you left absolute. Dave Burry might be knocking down my door. Yeah, anyway, so what you've been up to, Josh how's parenting been? Is your daughter's back at school now? We're recording this on the 5th of Jan. The 5th of Jan, my daughter has been back at school for 45 minutes as I speak.

Some people start, kids broke up really late, didn't they this year? Up north, my mate's in Newcastle, the kids were still in school till 23rd? Yeah, exactly. And the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're, they's, they's, they're, to. they're, they're, to. they're, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's.......... that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that. that. that. that. that. that that that. that that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's then the kids don't go back to Monday. And it's been a very nice Christmas. It's been a very busy Christmas. Okay, go on. So, what we've done is we rack and stack people back to back. So there's barely been a day when we haven't got people in our house of some sort. Right, you've hosted, you're the host of the most. You love a host.

We've hosted more than Romesh has in the last year. That is how much we've posted. Sure, sure, okay. So I should say, what I've done again, what I've done again, Rob, is I've written down some headlines, I've written down some headlines, the headlines.. We's is, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the headlines. to. the headlines. the headlines. the headlines. the the the the the the the the the their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their their their, their their their their their their, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, th. Oh, thoes. Oh, tooes. Oh, tooes. tooes. tooes.oes.oes. tooes. tho the tho the the the the the the the the the the the their their their after boxing day. Yep. And I thought I'd do again. I've got the headlines and you can choose the stories in order. Oh yeah, come on. And are you gonna make these headlines? We've learned from this.

We have to try and make it exciting. I've written down the stories and then I've written a more fun version of the headline. Right, okay. No alarm. Okay. So the first one is called Not Again. Like that one? Excited by that one? Is that the fun one? Yeah, that's the fun. Oh, come on.

Okay. I'm sorry. I thought you were going to give me the headline and then the interesting version. All right. Not this again. Well, that doesn't help. the that in the bath. Right. That's good. That's good. You buying that? Yeah. Duck disaster? Duck disaster. Okay. I'm intrigued animal or crouching. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. How many pestos? Oh. And the final one is baby raver. Baby raver. Okay. I'd say that that's fine. I think that could be put, I think you couldn't work for a tabloid with those. No. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that's. that. that. th. that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. th. I. th. I. th. th. I. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. if I'd I think you couldn't work for a tabloid with those No, no, do you think I need to punch them up a bit more? Not this a fucking gan Yeah, you shouldn't do that in the fucking bath? Yeah, you're just saying fucking. Oh no a bloody dark shit Oh my god, I'm drowning in pasto. Oh, drowning see that's made it you I think you're missing a little bit more jeopardy in the headline That's all I'm saying but but or a pun um so what are you gonna go with? Can we go for pesto's please? So Rob yeah, we're gonna go back in with some high end you know the the audience are here for high drama. Yeah I cleaned out my fridge. the fridge. Rob. Yeah, I clean out my fridge. the fridge. A door next to it for the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the freezer. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. the fridge. Or. Or. Or. the the the the the the the the the the the the. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Or. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. Oh. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the one door for the fridge and then a door next to it for the freezer. Full length, both of them? Full length both of them. No, it's a full length freezer. It's a real treat. Fridge, fridge bigger than freezer and then the top shelf of the fridge is jars. Jars. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, always they're their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both. Yeah, their, their, their, their. Yeah, their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the their their their their their their their their though because they're heavy really they should be low minor top as well Yeah, because it can kill someone if you drop one of them on a baby. Do you know it?

Yeah and also they're not the thing you need that yeah, you're right. Talk me through the arrangement of a fridge Rob. Happy New Year. Happy. Top Top shelf jars. Correct. . Those plastic drawers, they're called something like the vegetable freshening drawers.

Yeah, as if they do anything. It's got some sort of high-end science behind it, they're full of fucking water whenever I go near it. I don't know what I don't sound very fresh to me. It's like, it's like first lockdown watching me watching my salad. Yeah, and then the middle is a bit of a mishmash, but if we're on top of it, we have a sort of dairy, sort of a couple of dairy ones where it's like yogurts and stuff like that. And then below it is all cheese, and then we have sort of cooked meats,

and then there'll be like a raw meat little shelf, and then milk and the heavy things at the bottom that need to go in like on their side before they're open to go in the door bit. But if I'm honest it just turns into an absolute free-for-all after a while. Yeah it's a total free-for- jars is clear, veg is clear, we've got a cheese drawer at the top of our drawer. Okay sure, yeah, the egg. Egs in the the the the the the th is the th is th is th is th. Yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, three, th. that, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th, th, th, th. But, th, th. But, th, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thr. Yeah, thr. Yeah, thr. Yeah, tog. Yeah, toge. toge. toge. tog. tog. total, tho. threate. Yeah, total. Yeah, thre. Eggs in the door. Oh, no, we go room tempt egg. Do you, yeah, I've heard about these people. We're not refrigerating an egg, mate. They've been stuck on the chicken's ass, they'll be alright.

The chicken try to keep warm, if anything. Exactly. Unless it's got a cold ass. I've never been near one. I couldn't the jars Rob. Yeah, going. I'm not going to give you a guess on this because I don't want you to ruin it by going too high. It's not a classic. Yeah. Six. Six old pestos. Six pestos. Too much pesto? That six half-finished pestos in the fridge. Is they mold in there at any point?

In some of them. Yeah. They've all just chimied to the back. Do you know what I mean? I've never done a full jar of pesto. No one's ever done a full jar of pesto. It's too much. They just do smaller. They should do smaller pesto jars like they do with baked beans you know the little ones you might. Rob. Do you know what? I just dropped my memory. I tried material on this in the last tour, it didn't go anywhere. What bestow chance? Oh no, on the fact no one's ever finished a best though. I'm on, oh, John. What, fuck it? Well, that made the show? No, of course, no.

Oh, okay. Okay. Because, obviously, I've seen it. I just can't remember that beer. Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can.

They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller Time. Learn more at Miller Light.CA. Must be Legal Drinking Age. So six pestos, can people at home beat me for six pestos in your fridge? No, there's no one more middle class than you that listens to this with six pesto or the space for six pets. Or a worse hall when you're cleaning out your fridge for an amount of things. Jams? I think something like a jam. Yeah, maybe. I don't think anyone's going to be anything in a jar that you've got more than six of that can't be beaten Josh.

You've got as many pestos as I've got bins. And, Rob, doesn't that just sum us up as people? Yes. Um, yeah, so right, is that done or is you got more on that? No, no, well I did, I did when I was trying to get the stand-up show away, but actually none of it proved worthwhile. I totally forgotten that bit. I might try it next time I'd do a tour. Anyway, I told my mom off the other day for telling me a bad anecdote. Did you? Yeah I just I haven't got the time for it. What was the anecdote? It was on a plane and I had

my headphones in the little air pod things, you know wires. And she said oh there's oh yeah there's little wireless wireless ones. There, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's a little there's a little there's a little there's a little there's a little there's a little there's there's a little there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there, I I I I I, I, I was. There, I was a little there's a little there's a little there's a little there's a little, I was a little, I was a little, I'm a little little little little little, I'm a little little little, oh, I'm a little little little, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm a little little, oh, oh, thoo, oh, there's a little, oh, there's a little, yeah. But I've had to take, she gets bored. So I've had to take my headphone out to talk to her because she's bored now. She had to sleep. Yeah, and she goes, oh yeah, so my neighbor, he said to me, I've lost one of my little airpods. I thought I dropped it by your car, but I can't find it anywhere. He's lost his airport, little black little headphone thing. And my dad went, oh, I saw that by the calf floor, and I put it in the card, didn't know what it was? And I went, mom, I don't want to hear that.

That's what is that? That's not a story, is it, Josh? What did she say? When you said that? I went, is not good enough, mom. It's not good enough. It's not. We operate in the Beckett's a high level of answer, and that's not, I'm afraid, life's too short. To be, to be interrupted, to be told that.

If it come up in conversation, I'd half let her off. But to force someone into a conversation they don't think that's enough. I don't know it's ever going to come up in conversation as well to be honest. How's it? Unless you lost one air pod, then I'd say fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, go on. What's next? Someone left their airpods in my house? God, this is. I'm sorry. All right, Sue Bickett. Is that what's going to happen if either of the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho thi thi thin. thin' tho' tho- I tho- I'll tho- I'll tho- I'll tho- I'll tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I thi th. I thi thin. I'll tho. I'll thoo. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th either of us goes down a blind alley now? I'm stupid. Well, no, that's a thing. My mom's great.

She's a good anecdotalist to anyone who's heard the audio book knows that she can absolutely turn them out. Exactly. When I've got respect for you, I'll pull you up on it, then I just know you've got nothing, you've got nothing in the tank, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, tho, tho, th th tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, thoom, thoomomomoomoomoomoomooma, is the, the, the, thoooomomooooom, is the, the, shouting at football that's not good enough. There's no point. There's nothing, there's nowhere from to go. I know my mom's got the minerals. She just needs to believe in herself more. Do you know what? I've got better ones than that.

Back yourself. And she will come back from this. And she'll get a good run of form. on the podcast and update on what anecdote your mom leads with and whether it goes down well. Whether she's pulled herself together. Yeah, sure, fair enough. I'll get one offer. Don't you worry about that. I've actually got quite a good anecdote from my mom that she gave me about my dad. Oh yeah, go on. My dad burnt his nose, right? He's got a should he burn his nose? Here it comes. My mom told me this. He, the kettle was boiling in a hotel room. No. He, he thought it was burning. It was just, he just thought the kettle was burning, it was broken, it was burning. And there was all smoky steamy stuff coming out of it and he thought oh is that steam from it boiling or is that

smoke from a fire so he went up to the kettle sniffed it guess what it was it was it was it was it was it'll steam it'll steam it it'll steam it'll see him. That's incredible. When he used to fix the washing machine, if it was broken, he'd leave the electrics on because he wouldn't know if he'd fixed it or not if the electrics were off. Yeah, so he'd fixed it. I'd be in a pool. I've seen him be thrown across the kitchen on the floor and a pool of water being electrocuted because he was doing it with it on. Oh God. He cuts himself all the time on stuff. And that he's very like that. If he ever does anything in the garden, he'll come back to a cut arm. He just, he just, I don't know what it is. And he's a kettle. He just he just he just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I th. I he, I he, I he, I he, I he, I he, I he, I he, I he, I was, I was, I was, I was, I he, I he, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, I he, he was, I was, I was. He was. He was, I was, I was. He was. He was. He was. He was, I he was. He was. He was. He was, I he was. He was, I he was. He was, I don't, he was just, I don't, I don't, he was just, I don't, I don't, he was just, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I better smell it and what he did was sniff boiling steam. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. But that is you

know it's punches better than a lost headphone on it right let's get back to yours baby ravers? Baby raver okay this is a video so we've put some toys in in my son's cot to try and delay him in the morning. Some toys in there for when he wakes up, yeah? Yeah. Oh, here's another anecdote I've just found on my phone. I look, Rob, do you want to know? Stop calling them anecdotes. It's putting to a pressure on them. Okay, I've just got to tell you this. Yeah. I've got a friend who I would say is more your type of than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than their than their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their their. I their their their their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tip. I type. I'm more more more more more more your type. type. type. type. type. type. type. type. that that that that that that that that that that that that thi. I thi. I Right. Okay. He texted me. Can you imagine something less like me? I got engaged recently. Are you coming to my stag doos? I'm gonna have three.

I like him. Yeah. I said I saw congratulations. Three stag doos, what are you thinking? Like what you think for them? Number one, Vegas, open brackets, odd cheap European alternative. I lost his nerve quite quickly on that, didn't he? He's already back down. Number two, has he got kids? Uh, no. Number two, messy London pub crawl for the oldies. Yep.

Number three, butlins. He don't needs three of them. I get the London one, and then one further afield for older people or people that don't want to travel and I'm got as much money. But what, what, butlins, chucked in at the end? Yeah, I was like what, butlins? And he replied, yeah, done butlins in the summer. 90s garage weekender, artful dodger, fucking class. I think he should just do butlins. I think he should's... I think it's a bit of a soft sell. What do you mean?

What do you mean? He wants but I think if he's got mates like you, he thinks he's all going to be snobby about it. So he's sort of floating Vegas, European, but actually he wants to go butlinens and then get pissed up in London. And I want to come. Yeah, my brother that is stagu. the staggy in bu staggy in bu staggy in bu staggy in bu staggy in bu stagg. that's stagg. that's stagg. that's that's that's that's stag. that's stag. that's stag. that's stag. that's stag. that. that's stag. that. that's stag. that. that's stag. that. that. that. that. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's that he's that. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's that. He's that. He's that. He's that's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's got th. He's got thi. He's got thi. He's got the. He's got the theats thi thi thi th up as wrestlers. Did you? Yeah, yeah, I went a stone cold Steve Austin. Did you? Which ones are stone cold? I don't, I'm not interested. I know a whole bloke in a vest. Yeah, no, so it's fun. It's fun. I reckon he's fun. I reckon he should do London for the weekend and then do butlin's. I just think I me going to Rose. I'm sorry I'm away for three weekends. Can I say something to you, Josh?

You'll be more famous in Victoria Park with your child than in Butlins. No one will give a fuck. It's like me going to the British Museum. I'll be left alone all day. Right. I'm going to send you a video now, Rob. This is. So we left some toysysysysys toys to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the tooys their their their their their their their tooes. I'm thoes. I'm their. I's. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I's. I'm to me. I's. I'm to me. I'm to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm going to send you a video now Rob. This is, so we left some toys in my son's cot in the hope of him just entertaining himself in the morning and he now does it. But we can

hear them obviously and so one of them is the stick, you know the stick from Hey Duggy and the stick song? Yeah. So basically my son's having a rave on his own every morning. Let me just send this to you. This is what comes through on our... The kids go mad for the stick song when you see Hey Doug Elias. This is what you're woken up with at 7 a.m. Can I just stop us for a second though Josh? The glory days. We get up at like 7 now.

Yeah. the, here we go. So he just sits there playing that and it's coming on the monitor. He sits there playing that and dancing to it for about 45 minutes. Brilliant, can you just, can you mute the monitor? Well, we could turn off the monitor, Rob, but... Turn off the monitor, you'll be able to hear him. Do you think we're actually post monitor? Are we in a world of post monitor? No, but I don't think you need to have the volume on the monitor when a child's playing the stick toy for 45 minutes in the morning. Do you think? Just turn the volume off? You're still watching.

Oh my God, I'm gonna do itto sleep because I can sleep throw it. Do you know what I mean? I can turn the volume off you'll hear him open your door you'll hear him if he cries. Yeah, oh my god Rob, it's fucking brilliant mate. It's so good. I know I'm not gonna talk about things that go right in parenting but the lying of the extra 45 minutes from him playing with that and his eagle toy is unbelievable. So what time does does the the the their their their their their their their the the the the the do does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does does their their their their their their that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the tho. the tho. tho. tho. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that-pudal toy is unbelievable. So what time does your daughter get up? About seven half seven? You're living a fucking charmed life you are. I know Rob. My kids are up at six every day. You know some kids are go-getters and will achieve stuff in life others will be a little lazy lay about it's in bed all morning. Do you know what means? That's what you want from your kid really suffer now Oh their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oher now and then in the future, you know, otherwise you know, they'll be there at 25 still land in fucking bed the losers.

Exactly, mate, exactly. No, it's fine, it's fine. I'm quite happy with that. Quite happy with that. Do you want, you shouldn't do that in the bath? Duck disaster or not again. to thuknight again. to the weakest thiaaaaukauk daukauk. that's. thuk. thuk. thuk. thuu. thu. thu. thiu. thu. thu. thiu. thu. thiu. thu. thoen, thoomkneneu. thia'a'a' thiou-a' th. th. thi' thi' tho' tho' tho' thathea' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo again. Let's build towards Bath. Okay, not again Not against your weakest headline by the way. Yeah, I know and it's the weakest anecdote as well. But I just thought I needed to tell you this because I thought you'd absolutely destroy me for it. Okay. I did seven straight days in Victoria Park Rob. Why Josh? Seven straight days. Every morning just what you are you are living in a self-imposed lockdown. We're in 2023, you're in March 2020, Josh. Why are you doing it? It must be so boring.

Rob, it's so boring. Josh, drive him to another park. Why can't, no, but... So, I can't be bothered to drive him to another park? Why can't, no, but, so I can't be bothered to drive him to another park. Why is another park any better than Victoria Park? Because it's different. Yes, but otherwise you're going to say and start eating your own shit, Josh, I would. Or at least, or at least, oh, what, drive him to a shopping set at all the shops of him or something? But the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thath, thathe th, thoes, thathe thathe thathea' thoes, thoes, thoes, tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. thatch, thatch, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thoanan, tooan, tooan, tooan, tooan, tha'eeananananananananananananananananananananan't th a shopping centre, walk around the shops with him or something? Inside walls.

He just needs to rerun like a dog. This is a thing. How long you're in the park for? Couple of hours. It's not a way to, I just don't think it's a way to live, Josh. There must be other things you can do with him. It's a lean board. Take him soft play who love that. I know but I never get round to it. You've had seven fucking days off Josh. You get round to it. Just drive to a soft play and pay four quid, eight quid or whatever

it is. But I don't. You don't. Yeah we know you don't. Why? I don't know why you don't. It's so weird Josh. It's really fucking weird. And uh's thinking it, and I'll say it to your face, it's really fucking weird just to take a one and a half year old to a park every day for two hours. It's good that you're getting him... The kid's gonna go, the kid's not gonna... It's gonna be like California man, this kid. He doesn't know that is a world. There's a film called California Man where the caveman is unfrozen in LA

and he has to experience a world and he doesn't know how to live in it. Been like Demolition Man when's still in the future. Yeah, I love demolish man. He's gonna go a school and kids, they're gonna be saying things to him. What? All his world is the par! My dog has had more days out than your kid. He's been down a witsda ball for a run. He loves it. It was Christmas. Yeah, I know. But look, he's still, look, it's a bit of fresh air, but I do think you could

change it. You'll enjoy it more. Yeah, I know, Rob. But the first three days, I really enjoyed. Okay, for it. So what you do same lap round and the the same?? the same. It. It, it. It, the the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi's thi's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. to to to to the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. know Rob. But the first three days I really enjoyed. Okay, so we do same lap round and then the same street. No, I mix it up, Rob. There's a big park and a small park. There's two different cafes. Okay, it's fair enough. Two separate duck palms. So you can sort of go into different places of it. Maybe it's a bigger part, but I just think surely like a soft play. If you stick him in a soft play. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you can, the same, the same, you, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the just think, surely like a soft play, if you stick him in a soft play, I mean I suppose, yeah, you can run around that and you can just have a coffer. I know, I know the soft play, the nearest soft play doesn't have parking. How far is that soft play? What a soft play doesn't have parking? I'm in zone two Rob. Oh, it's a terrible place.

No parking. People just walking to the soft play. All sad with their buggy in the cold. Get the bus. Oh God. Seven days in a right. So what are you doing with him today? Is he back at nursery now? Oh, he's back at nursery, Rob. Yeah, one of the three places he's been? No, I've taken him to the Westfield. Fair enough, you've been to the Westfield. I've taken him to Epping Forest. Okay, you've done a few, yeahthe time. If you know somewhere that's safe and they enjoy it. He brings his fucking shoes into this kitchen if it's 10 a.m. and he hasn't left the house. And I think, oh God, I haven't planned for this.

And again, I'm just going to the park. Maybe if you took him somewhere different he might be more mentally stimulated and more tired because there's new stuff going on. Oh he's always tired Rob. Oh is he's okay. So you take him to the park he's out like a bloody light he sleeps all right but every morning that fucking ground he brings his shoes and I go to the park on about day six that was the first day I I give I took the headphones out headphones headphones headphones headphones headphones headphones the headphones the headphones to the headphones the headphones the headphones to the headphones the headphones the headphones the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to they I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I they. I they day I took the headphones out. Guilt free. Yeah, guilt-free headphones on. Guilt-free headphones on.

And did your daughter not want to come? She's not bought, she's done with the park. If you didn't ask her if she wanted to go out, she would never leave the house. When we had COVID and we were locked in for 10 days, it didn't even, she didn't even notice. Really? She's more than happy with all the toys, the craft, the TV. Yeah, the dressing up, etc. in the house. She doesn't give a shit about going out. My son is hates his own home. Well look, if he enjoys the park every day and it's easy, do it, but I just think for your

own head. Right, I'm gonna mix it up. I'm gonna mix it up this weekend. I think we're signing him up to kiddie kicks as well. That would be I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that's. that's. th. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the th. the th. the the the th. the th. the the the the the the th. the the they. th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tho. tho. tho. th. th. the th going to mix it up. I'm going to mix it up this weekend. I think we're signing them up to kiddie kicks as well. That would be good. Yeah, well, yeah, that'll be. I just think, you know where that is Rob? Where's that? Victoria Park? Yeah. Yeah, of course. But that's fine.

the park. It's fine. and you know it's gonna tire him out and it's stress-free, but it is quite... I'm a bit more chilled about it, but Lou, hey, sometimes doesn't want to go somewhere new or park something, she's always taking the kids places, but if you do find it a bit, you get a bit anxious about taking them something new, I totally get it, but I think you'll enjoy it more. No, I don't get an anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious anxious get anxious. Couldn't give a shit, drive anywhere, but you just haven't booked it.

Fair enough. Yeah, I tell you what, though, there's a double swing in the park, Rob, where one heart is meant to be for two kids, but you can put one kid on it and the adult can go on the other half of the swing and you're free swinging. Oh so what I'd say as well Josh is like, if anyone had an excuse to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thin, tho thin, thoome one, tho the the the the thi one, thi one, thi one, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho one, thi one, thi one thi one thi thi thi thi thi tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-s the do other things for content, it would be me and you. Yes, but for a not going to enjoy the fucking city farm. It's not about you, it's not about them enjoying it, it's about you not enjoying it and reporting back. Well, that's why I'm going to the park, Rob, because I knew you'd haul me over the course. But yeah, well maybe challenge yourself once once a week do something different with him. Well, obviously normally I'm not doing 14 days in a row with him Rob.

He had his roll stolen by a duck. Duck disaster happened in the park. Duck disaster, okay here it goes. That was part, part-based. Yeah, he had his roll stolen by a duck. I've never seen nothing like it. What kind of roll? Pesto? I don't know, like a kind of bun. I bought him a bun from the cafe. He was holding it. The duck literally walked up and stole it out of his hand and waddled off. And he gave chase. It was like a fucking beano cartoon. We couldn't believe it had happened. Did he catch it? No, of course it's a duck.

It's like chasing a hovercraft. The moment they go in the water, you're fucked. Did you chase it as well out of instinct, like straight off the bat? No, I chased him to make sure he didn't go in the water. So there was like a duck being chased by a baby, been chased by a man. And then a pram just left in the middle of the road. I'd love it as well if you'd forgot your card as well and then the person at the bakery is chasing you with your card. That'd be a full sitcom part.

Oh, did a duck enjoy the bun? Well, it's quite sugary, but you know. I suppose I shouldn't have it to my 18 month old son but yeah if it's too much for a duck then your kid should be having it really I think that's the way yeah it was it was big in its mouth I'm sorry not mouth beak um it was well no they've got the beak on the end the rest of it but the it must be the mouth they still got mouths I'm still got a mouth I always do ducks have mouths here do ducks have mouths do the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to go I'm the to do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I I I I I I'm is is is is is is I'm they I'm they I they I theyc I theyc I tuck I tuck I te I te I'm te I'm te I'm the duck pulls the vegetator into its mouth. Yeah, I've got a mouth. I always make a little bet with myself as to what Michael's going to call the episode.

Never get it right. And this time is, do ducks have mouths? Right, next one is the bath? Yeah. When I roll here, how long you get your little headlines, Josh. Is this a subtle PRR for your new, th for your new show in Nish where you become local journalists. But do watch that, it's all available as a Sky Box Set, Rob. Is it? Yeah.

What is the show, Josh and Nish? It's called, hold the front page, it's out on Sky, thank you for all the nice comments, etc. Yeah. I hate new shows coming out, Rob, I hate it. I find it exposing, I find it awkward, but I'm trying to be more Beckett. Yeah, mate. You've got to go off it. Rob Beckett is cool as a cucumber when things come out. You just go, yeah, fine, whatever, what will be, what will be, what will be, what will be, what

will be, wa? It's just a waste of time. Yeah, I'm like, but what if what will's still nothing you could do about it, you just have to accept it. So I'm being more Beckett. So I'm just chilled out about it. Yeah, you said it. Also, Rob. It's been really... Do you know what's been really exciting, Rob? Go on.

When I turn on my Sky, yeah. It's just for the last week, it's been you, it's been you, and then it's been Rom, it's been,then it's been Catherine and then it's been me and Nish Yeah, we're like the main people now. I tell you what sky love a blonde boy in an Asian They love a blonde boy and Asian. It's like it. They're like dog breeders trying to get a cockapoo out of us the ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So do you watch it. they. they. they. So watch it. they. they. So do watch it. they. they. they. they. they. they. they watch it. they. they watch it. they. they they they they. they they they they. they they they they they they they they they they're watch. they. they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're they're t. t. t t tod try. today. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're theythe One Show to promote it, Rob. I've got to tell you this. Oh go on, you're at the One Show without me? Yeah, well, because I'm allowed on it without you, Rob. Oh yes, have you spoke about this? Yeah, I think we did that you got banned from the One Show and then you went on without me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. So. So. So. So I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th. the the th th the the the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. I I th. I was. th. I was. th. I was. I was. th. I th. I th. I th. I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was. I was th. I was on the one show last night. The end of the one show is I think that the host of the one show do an incredible job

I find it the most chilled out show I'm ever on because I'm like they're gonna talk to me for about three minutes and then go to a VT and I just sit here and then so I'm on there Talk about hold the front page and then against the end I talked about art the tour to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the told I told I told I'm I'm I'm told I'm the the the told I'm to go go go go go go to go they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe of toe of to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe of the the the the the the the end, I talk about, we talked about our tour as well Rob and the and Alex Jones said to me, oh yeah I'm doing your podcast in two weeks. I was like yeah I know. I had no idea she was but I was delighted. That's good though she should be a great guest. Who else was presenting? Uh, J J J J J J J J J J J J J Mane S? Oh yeah we've had him on as well as well as well. we we we he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. Oh, I was. Oh, I was th. Oh, I was th. Oh, I was. Oh, I was th. Oh, I was th. Oh, I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I I. I I I I I. I I I I. I I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Oh, I was. Oh, I was. Oh, I was. Oh, I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like th. I was th. I was like th. I was th. I was like. I was th. I was th. I was and he said he said to me I keep getting stopped in the street by people of because of your podcast thank you very much because normally all they want to talk to me about is football so it gets the end of the one show Rob you know when they've got another minute left and they get the texts in or the tweets in yeah yeah the gear change between the tweets is like nothing I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I the th I th I the th is like th is like the the the the the th is like thing I thing I the the. the. the. theer theer theer theer. theer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. t. t. tttttttte. te. te. te. te. t. t.. See, I struggle, that's why I struggle on it though, because my face goes before my brain stopped. I can't, I'm so glad I wasn't in shot.

I couldn't believe this happened. Yeah. Alex Jones, because you're like, I'd say this is the best piece of presenting to be able to do this change. Yeah. Alex Jones. . We've got a tweet from Paul who says, I love Josh's comedy and I can't wait for his new show. And I'm gonna say it, probably, thanks Paul, but not if that's the best tweet you're getting in.

And then the second is- Yeah, there's not a lot of options. We need one from Josh and they won. Thank you, Paul. So, can I tell you something? mate, the producers have made that up. No one's message. That's the panic, generic one. God we've got a guest on. Because I thought it was odd that the guy that briefed me earlier was called Paul as well. I've seen all your stuff, had to do it for the research on the show. Great Great idea. So let's quick run through what we're going to do today. So you've got a tweet from Paul, I love Josh's comedy and can't wait for his new show. And then Germain, Janus, goes, we've got a tweet from Susan who says, my daughter was badly

burned by an exploding candle, and so I'm glad you've covered this on the show. Thank you for watching the show tonight. I'm like, fucking out. Yeah, how'd you say? Because you're going all jolly from the comedian to something that's brutal. Because it cut to me on the jolly first one I was like smiling away. The moment Gina started, I couldn't believe it was happening. But also people that have just tuned in that may not know you may think well is either comedian or is he the bloke that's been speaking about exploding candles. I know it was like if you hadn't caught the start of the show I've been bad anyway That is the whole show that's you know I don't know if it is a good sign of a presenter or it's a sign that

Someone could be a sociopath if they wanted to be well well ask Alex when she's on I'm gonna ask Alex and go look I we think one it is great presenting That's a given however to be able to do that do you think you could also be a sociopathic killer? To move between that emotion like that. What point in the interview do you think we should drop that in? Opening question? Or do you think we should drop it in? I'm happy to open with that. Okay. And I think I'll take that on the chin and Kane at Tottenham, but she has presented with that

show with some absolute shit. And she's here, carrying it. I presented it once and I, the whole time was, Rob, if you're yourself here, you're going to end your career. And I don't think that's the best way to approach a job. If you relax and be yourself, this is the end of your career. I'm all right as a guest sometimes, but presenting it. I just think it's too, it's the, the serious, I can't do the serious jumps well enough. No. I think you would have struggled with reading out that tweet at the end yeah I mean yeah and there's a

reason why when the Queen sadly passed I had a little break for radio to I can't do morning so awkward because your kids get up at 6 a.m. Oh yes we're back we're back we're back we're back we'rethree! I just squirt some water in my mouth from the camera, because I was showing off. Oh yeah, nice. Nice. Clip that up. Clip it up.

Clip it up. Clip it up and get it up. Clip it up and get it moral. Clip it up and get it moral. Last one, Rob. Yeah, go on. My son did a shit in the bath five days on the bounce. The boy needs to get out of that park. That's not related. Fairly, it's not a dirty protest. He's not Bobby Sands. Well, I think they get into a bit of a routine and he's too young to sort of tell you, isn he? So what's what's dislodged the excuse the the pun? What's it changed it up? He stopped he just stopped or I thought he did day six I was like I'm ready for this.

Yeah because I talked about the first couple of days on here didn't I but it continued but I'd got into a routine fish out early get him out he got he got you the he he got he he got he he got he he got he he got he to to he got he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the to they. they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I to get to the to to get they. I th was they. I was they. I was told. I was told. I was told. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thee. He's the. He's took. He's took. He's took. He's took. He's took. He's the. He's the. He's out early, get him out. He'd got, he got, he got quite toyed with leaving it in there, didn't you for a bit? Yeah, well I did do that and it was an error. Yeah, quick advice to listeners. If you're, if anyone's shit in the bath, get it out straight away. Is that what you're saying? That's what I'd say. Sure. Sure, as a that's. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. that's. that's. th. th. th. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. th. the the the the that. to say. to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theat. theat. th. too. too. too. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. sounds like a bit in the one show actually. That sounds like one of the consumer bits. Thank you very much Josh Whitaker who's been talking about how to remove excrement from a bath

whether it be from a child or adult. Now anyway here is Ian McKellan to talk to talk about his new Panto. So he just stopped. I think the hot water relaxed him and he just got into a routine of it. Anyway, the next, the last day of it, took him out, I'm like I've beaten it, he's not shouting the bath, took him into his room, was just setting him up to change his nappy, he stood up, I look up and there is some shit coming out of his his bum. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, I've just got a text that is perfect for this show. Go on. Um, Rosa's just texted me. Our son just opened the car door on a motorway. Can you not put the child lock on? Well, I don't know. It's only 18 months.

Who's driving then? She's aren't drive? No, she's being driven to the, she's driving with the mate to the vets. Right, okay. So yeah. Our cats got to go to the vets. Beryl? Yeah, she's just got to have her kidneys. flushed. Is that regular then the flush of the kidneys? Every every quarter. I mean that's

a good friend. Do you mind driving me and my 18 month old and Beryl the Cat to the vet? She's a good friend. I'll get more details on that next time for the next podcast. Lovely. Your cat is getting more time out out of the house than your child. Well no wonder he tried to open the door mate. He was on the A-a-a-. He was a prisoner! He tried to escape? Yeah, this is my chance. So he had poo coming out of his ass. Yeah. Okay. I was like, oh God no. So I wiped that and then I looked around and there was just a perfect log in the middle of the floor. Oh, he'd done it as you carried him out. Well, I don't know. It was just on the bedroom floor. I'd just been faffing, and he'd just done a perfect log in the middle of the bedroom floor. And do you know what? That is worse than in the bath. Yeah, on carpet.

You don't ever think you'll miss your son pooing in the bath. But that's what you got to to that's what you got you you the the the the the the to to to the to the the to to the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the world I'm living in. Oh why, oh why can't it just be back when he was shitting in the bath? And had it got into the carpet or could you get it up quick? Do you know what? It was perfectly formed so it didn't even leave a mark on the carpet? Did you give it a wipe? Did you give it a wipe? Did you give it a wipe? Yeah?

theymeat I gave it a wipe. You didn't give it a wipe, did you? I didn't give it a wipe, no. So you haven't cleaned shit up off the floor? I gave it a wipe. I gave it a wipe. So that's the end of the episode. You didn't give it, you didn about germs? Have I heard about germs? You can't always see them. Oh, here he comes, Mr. Muscle. Just say, I would have give it a spray

or something. Yeah, maybe I'll go and do it now. Oh, we can't. Give it a little sprang. Just to say, you've done it. Does Rose know there was a pull on the floor oh she will now oh yeah she knows there was a pull on the floor yeah but she would have assumed that you'd cleaned it to be quite interesting to hear what she says about this well maybe we will at some point yeah okay fair enough right to that little break. Here we go. Oh, this is a good one for you, Rob. Go on. Dear Rob and Josh, big fans of the podcast books and stand-up and have tickets to come see you at the O2 next year. Could you please shout for my sister's coloring book series to help with mental health. She's just starting. Go on. You love coloring it helps the mental health. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. th. It, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoooooooo. th health. She trained as an illustrator but life and kids took over, and she's coming back swinging with books to help adults.

Her coloring books are full of humor and positivity to support mental health and mindfulness. You can search her name on Amazon. Rochean, or Rocheon, O, or s-o-si-o-o-se, O-o-Poshth O-H-E-R-T-Y R-O-I-S-I-S-N, O-H-E-R-T-Y, and all three of her books should pop up. Two of the books are for adults, but other is family-friendly. Thank you very much, Rich. That is good, isn't it, Rob? Very good, for mental health. I still colouring, I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I. th. th. I. th. th. I. th. I'm, I. th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th-a. I'm th. th. th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. R-s. R-s. R-s. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That-s. I-s. I-s. I-s. I-s. I-s. I-s. I-s-s-s. I-s. I-s.I-s.I-s.I-s.I-s. I-a-s. Are you still colouring? I'm still colouring by there. Yeah, I've got a little book in my back. I did loads when I was in Australia. It's hard to do it when you've got the kids over Christmas because they want to join in. They're ruin it a bit Josh. They're not that they're good colouring us but they're just not operating at my level. Yet. They're not. They'll get not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. their. They're their. They're not. They're not. their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. their. I. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their to. to to tod. tod. today. today. today. today. to to to to today. to to to to to th. tho. th. th. th. get there, but it's good. So I've been colouring him on their stuff.

Right, here we go. Hello, I'm a long-time list of the first time writer-in-a. I'd like to shout out for two of my close friends who run a virtual reality arcade in Oxford called Reality Drop VR. It's only the two of them, and they've managed to create a small but successful business business business from from from business business business business business business set up corporate events off-site too. Think work Christmas parties where you can be immersed in another world. You can find them on Instagram. V. R. Reality Drop. Thank you for the shower. I've been listening to your podcast for a couple of years now and I have to hide my giggles when I'm in the gym or out for a walk. Kate. Can I say so a lot of people say they laugh. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to th. thi. to th. they they they they they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they they they can't they're they're th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. thi of people say they laugh when they run and they love going for a run and listing. How the fuck can anyone be in a position to laugh while

running? When I'm running, I'm just surviving. Yeah, I am so far from laughing. I've never laughed when I ran in my life. No. Do you know where I last. I did laugh last time I ran Rob. Yeah. But I was chasing a child who was chasing a duck who had a bunny in his mouth. But like if you go for, I just, well done, if you're fit enough to be able to run, listen to something and laugh fucking well. But I just, I've never been able to listen to something and laugh while running. But then again, I don't listen to to to to it's not for us. So maybe, maybe we're the anomaly. And we can't listen back, so you know, maybe that's it. But well done, if you're running and you're going out there and for starting

your fitness regime this year, remember it's a long process, not instant results. Be kind to yourself. Take your time, you'll get there eventually and join me on my journey. I'm going to try, I'm getting fit like Barlow this year Josh. It's happening? Oh yeah, like Ken Barlow. Like Ken Barlow. Like Ken Barlow, no, no, Ken Barlow's body. Nothing wrong with Ken Barlow's body.

Nothing wrong with Ken Barlow's body. No, they're wrong with, which. curry last night but it starts today boy starts today it starts today yes I have loved being back together Rob it's been an absolute pleasure yeah and I'll tell you about what I've been up to new year and all that we didn't talk about New Year's Eve yes let's talk about that as well why don't I weave that in next time to my New Year's okay let's do that right see you later mate bye