Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP10: Cariad Lloyd

Episode Date: February 10, 2023

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant podcaster and actress - Cariad Lloyd. You can listen to Cariad's podcast 'Griefcast' wherever you get your podcasts. And her new book 'You Are Not Alone' is out now. Thanks, Rob + Josh. We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Miller Light, the light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both, because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller time. Learn more at Miller Light.C.A. Must be Legal Draking Age. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with Leo. Can you say Rob Beckett? Robbicke and Josh Widdickham.

Josh Widdickham. Josh Widdickum. Good boy. Good boy. Why are it? And? Josh. There we go.

That was an epic, wasn't it? Dear Rob and Josh, this is my two and a half year old Leo who loves saying your names. I've got some thoughts on the clip though as well, Josh, I'd like to share after. Okay, thank you for providing us weekly parenting entertainment for our sanity. It's so great and covering to hear that everyone else finds parenting challenging as well. Please don't ever quit the podcast from Wing and Anthony Lynch, Bista. Wing. Her name's Wing. Her name's Wing.

Her name's Wing. That's a cool name, isn't it? I love that. I thought the kid did it really well. It's very cute, lovely mum energy of like, oh, say it like, oh, say it's like, get the fucking radio off? Unbelievable. The radio's on in the background in a big echo-y, it sounded like a big kitchen. Bista, bit of money, Bista Village. Yeah, wing and that's together. Absolutely earning. She can't be bothered to turn the radio off. It's too far over in the corner of her

massive kitchen, bifold doors, rattling off the windows. I know, I can hear it. I can hear it, Josh I can hear the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money money money money money money money money money money money money money in the money money money in the money in the money in the money in the money in the money, I the money, I the money the money, I the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money, I'm the money, I'm the money, I'm the money, I'm the money, I'm the money, I'm the money, I'm the money, I'm the money, I'm the money in money in money in money in the money in the money in the money in that clip. Ah, that's good to know. It's good to know that, you know, advertisers listening, that's the kind of people we have listening to us. Ah, wing is rolling in it. Yeah, get your products promoted. Mercedes. Swatch. Swatch.

Swatch. Swatch, swatch. Swatch. What, get your swat, what, it's quite, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the........... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. Rolex is a bit more. Swatch. Swatch what, get your Swad Watch, you kind of, if you listen to this podcast. You know those big swatches people used to put on the wall, those big plastic models of a swatch watch in the 90s. They're 80s. You know Rolex is really expensive. Yeah, you have to worry about.

In airports. In airports. I sort of think, well how much is that one worth? Look at the size of it. The little ones are at 10 grand. Look at that. I feel worth a hundred thousand pounds. Big giant watch. Yeah, you can get swatched with that price. You good? You're good? You're good, you're good Josh. I'm alright. Yeah, I've got nothing to try for. Yeah, correspondence? Should we do some correspondence?

It's only the little intro, isn't it, this one? It's not only the little intro. What kind of correspondence are you looking for, Rob? Boomer, funny things kids say. Um, what's this one? More tired than Josh. Hi, Robin Josh. Recently, I sat down with my husband with thap-old for a breakfast of scrambled eggs. After seasoning with a grind of black pepper, I commented that the pepper had been looking a bit off-color lately.

Oh no. My husband agreed, and we began discussing whether it was an issue with the grinder. A few mouthful later, I noticed that the pepper corn on my fork looked a bit like a lentil. And some further investigation, it became clear that our grinder was in fact full of dried-green lentils. It turned out that my husband had cleaned out the old pepper refill pot, put lentils in the shaker toy for our son. At some point this property re-entered the cupboard and we used to fill fill fill fill fill fill fill fill to fill fill the the to fill the the to fill the the the the re-entered the cupboard and we used to fill the grinder. It's unclear how long we've been grinding raw lentils under our food before noticing. We can only blame our year of sleep deprivation. We take comfort in the fact that Josh that Josh seems to be through this phase. Cross your fingers for us. Happy New Year and thanks for keeping us entertained all the best Heather Stu and Flynn. Do we think think think think think thi thi th th th thi thi th thi th thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toy toy toy toye toye toye toye toye. toye toye toye toye toye toye toye toye. too too too to to to. Do we think we provide hope, Josh? I don't know if that's the place.

The other week we were doing recommendations for podcumaties for documentaries for three years. No, exactly, we do provide them. We're not a statue of Liberty and the listeners of France or America or New York, however that works. Yeah, there's a bit of an issue in my house regarding the pepper grinder, Rob. Go on. Whatever I cook, whatever I cook, and however much I season it, when I pass it to Rose, she'll just go straight and put salt and pepper on it without even tasting it. Oh, that is annoying.

And she says, why have you got such a big issue with this? And I don't, I don't know, I have got a big issue with it. Yes, because you've seasoned it as a cook. Yeah. And if anyone does want, I, even if every single time she took a mouth, will then put salt and pepper on. Which in a whole way would be more offensive you'd think. Yeah, but I'd exited. I think that's, I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. I'd better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's better. that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. the. the theat. theathea. theathea. theathea. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's right to think it but I checked. Now it's time to make it edible. Yeah. What does she do if you did that would she care? What? Put salt and pepper on it? Yeah. She's been trying to force me into the salt on pepper side for the last 10 years. You're not going to season your dinner?

No. Do you think though? Subcontrurally she feels like she does that out of habit and knows it's a bit bad because she's not even tasting it so she's trying to pull you down with her. I don't know no I don't she totally believes in it as a method. It's fundamentally flawed you must you must you must taste the food before you season it. Well wait until she comes on the show Rob we'll have this discussion. Rob you've not tried his food, it's always shit. There's no way it doesn't need salt and pepper. Is that what she'll say? Aye. I'd hope not. Aye.

All right, they sound like a rapper. Aye. Love the show. Thanks so much for making me laugh. I often listened to the headphones. I was sitting next to my one-year-old with mine When my middle daughter was about three she loved dressing up as a princess She'd fired random tea tales and she drape them on her head and pretend it was a veil One day she came in and said look at me. I'm a princess. I realized to my horror. She'd been rooting around under our bed

What? No and found in quotation marks. T, the cleanup towel in brackets. Everyone has one right? No to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to that's that's to their their that's to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I's th. I's th. I's that's th. I's tre. I's true. I's true. I's true. I's true. I's. I's true. I's true. I's true. I's th. I's in quotation marks, the clean up towel, in brackets, everyone has one, right? No. No. The clean up towel? For jizz. She was, probably, sorry, is this an email from a 15-year-old boy on a half-turn, which was covered in tried semen stains. But no, no one has this tow. No one one has that tow. Maybe a teenager. Yeah, that is astonishing. Anonymous? Why is it? No, Liz from Bristol. Flucke in Bristol. No. There's other Liz in Bristol going. What the fuck has just happened here? I've been absolutely named and shamed and something I don't have. Oh Liz, if you're walking on to this and you're called Liz and you live in Bristol, everyone's going to think it's you even though it's not. Yeah. Wow. That is an awful way to get into the guest though, isn't it, Rob? I suppose we're going to have to...

Oh, oh, God. I tell you what? Do you want a pallet celanse. kids injuring parents. Hello, sex and relatable boys. This story actually happened to my brother who had a vasectomy earlier in the year. The night after he had it, he was laid in the bed with my nephew reading him a bedtime story. At the end of my story, my nephew did the usual routine, the day after getting the snip. My brother describes making noise he didn't know he could make and spend the next several days unable to drive and with an ice pack permanently pressed against his testicles to try and reduce the swelling.

I don't feel cleansed. That was supposed to be the panic. Hi Josh and Rob, you asked the stories about when there's an injured child while my 11-year-old grandson Reese totally outplayed his granddad recently. What's the capital of Thailand, Grandad said knowledably. No sooner to yet have these words than my grandson punched Grandad stakles laughing and shouting Bangkok. He's since been banned from his mother from asking any more relatives about capital cities. Keep up the good work, Nanny Claire and Granddad Dan. Oh dear, Bangkok, that's a classic, isn't it? Welcome our guests. Great guests this week, Josh. Brilliant guest, it's the wonderful, Wanda Lloyd. Carriad Lloyd, hello. Hello? How many children have you got carrier? I have two two children I'm trying not to

swear too early. No swear away. I've got two of the fuckers because this morning was just... How old are they? So I'm right in the midst of it I suppose you'd say six and about to turn three. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, similar to all yes. Bad then? Just as... It wasn't actually that bad but at one point my daughter tho thau thau thia th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi thi's thi's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Oh. Oh, the the the. Oh, the the the toe. I toda. I today. I today today. I today. I toe. I toe. actually that bad, but at one point my daughter, she's playing a new game called Post Box, where we have to write each other notes, and she puts chairs everywhere and that's everyone's post-book and you have to write, but obviously, you're trying to get ready, it's quite stressful. She was like, Mommy, you haven't left me a note,

and I'll just get dressed. Mommy you haven't left me a note. I'm just gonna I've just gonna literally put clothes on. And she went I've left you a note. I was like, okay I'll read my note and it just was a sad face and it said you know in child's not proper spelling. Mommy will you play with me? Tick box no and then sad face. And I said look I'm really sorry just give me a sec give me a sec give give me a sec and she said there's another the no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no and then and then and then and then and then and then there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there there there there's a there's a there there there there's a there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there's there's to get her brother out to nursery and he's much more reliability. So I was like, just give me a second. And she was lying on the sofa, like, she was lying on the sofa just looking at the window like a 1920s air-rest, like just nothing is good. And she said, there's another note and I looked and it just said, Mommy, you thi to thi th and it just thin, and it just the the their thin, and it just thin, and it just thi thi their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi just just just just thi just thi just thi just just just just just just thi just thi just thi, just thi, just their just their just just just their their th. Just, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, just just, just just, just, just, just, just they, just they, just they, just they, just they, just they, just they, just thi, just thi, thi's thi, thi's thi's thi's thi, thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th God. Because I hadn't played fucking post books. I was like, you should get a job at raw mail.

That's how they treat their workers. Exactly. I'm on strike. Deal with it. If it makes you feel better, they do that to me and my wife as well. things like you make me sad I hate you and draw the sad crying face yeah that she does the sad face yeah did we do that I don't remember doing that I did not do that no my mom would have gone well yeah I don't because they're a

because of your behavior today I feel like there's more pen and paper available in my house and there was in my house growing up there was in my house growing up there's always printer paper. But when we were growing up, there wasn't printer paper. Yes, that's what she does, grabs the bloody printer paper. Yeah. Although my dad worked from home and we did have a lot of, I used to steal the fax paper. Okay.

To date myself and him. to date myself and him. to be the go to the shop Exactly I think they've got too much access to pen and paper kids these days too much Yeah and then the small one I left him alone for two minutes and he drew all over the wooden floor as well the other things I don't want to like I suppose I've complained enough on this show that I can have I to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to that I to to that I to to to to that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I've not had, touch wood. Careful, careful, what are you about to say? What are you about to say? They just sleep the night. My daughter didn't draw on walls. No, no, my daughter didn't.

And everyone seems to have had that. No, my son is doing it. This is the thing, yeah. Is it? Is it? Is the walls she's the oldest one she'd go okay and then he's just like he he and now he's about ten three he's now drawing on I think I think there's still time for your child to draw in a wall 18 months he didn't draw in the

the walls he started in the last six carrot are they drawing on the wall have you got white they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the th th th I th I th I th th th th the the the thrown th th thrown the th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th are the th are th are th are th are thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thro thro thro thro throooo the throoo the the thro the th are th Is that where they do it? He just tell you what, a small corridor, he got two pens in either hand, just straight down either side of the wall. Just whop. Oh my god. Yeah. And then this morning he just went on in the wood. I think it's the white wall. Yes, yeah. You've got very different color walls, Josh in your house. Oh that's true. Have you got any white walls? No, the the color. the color. the color. the color. the color. the color. the color. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose? Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose? Rose. Rose. Rose? Rose? No. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose? No. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. the color. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. tho. do you think she's creating basically a canvas? We've got a lot of white walls and they look at that as big paper. It's big paper. It's big, big paper. Big paper. The other thing you can do, which we did do in lockdown actually, was you know those IKEA roll of paper. Yeah, they're fun. And then we stuck that to the wall. Like both site. We just covered it halfway. And the the the the the their their their their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. And, their, th. their, their, th. It's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, their, their, th. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, the wall like both side we just covered it halfway and then they just went narts until they were bored and I haven't done that for a while and I thought I need to do the old paper on the side of the wall for a bit or have you taught them to draw on the wall? I think you're teasing them to the wall there lay that on the floor. Oh no they like mad or in their the gardener to be mad or to to be mad or to be mad or to be mad or to to be mad or the garden the garden to the garden to the garden the garden the garden the garden to the garden the garden the garden the garden the garden the garden the the the the the the the the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the to the to the to the the to the to the to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the sticking on the wall become quite like that's the most excitement or like drawing on the outside small balcony with chalk

was like what do you want to do chalk? Chalk is a um... chalk is good isn't it? Yeah chalk's a winner isn't it? At least it washes off as well with the chalk so. My daughter came home from a friend's house on Sunday and she had just an A with a circle around it on her head like she's kind of branded. Anacus sign. Yeah like an Anacist sign. Where was she? What was she meeting? She's mates with Swampies kids. They live in East London. Well trendy. Swampy works in media now. It's East London and it's East London and you're just like, I just couldn't tell I had no idea looking at the ink. It could been blood. Oh permanent yeah a sharpie.

It could have been a sharpie and you're just like if this is a sharpie what the fuck happens here now. Is it an Avengers A or something? I don't think they're into the Avengers. You're being kind of night. She's joined the anarchist. She's an anarchist. That's what happened. No I'll tell you what it was. She explained it that she and her the th th th th the th the th th th the th the th. She explained what the th. She's the the th. She's the the th. She's the th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's thi. She's th. She's th. She's is. She's is. She's is. She's is is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. the. S. S. S. the. S. S. S. the. S. S. S. the. S. Sh. Sharp. Sharpe. th. Sh. were the patients in the hospital and her other friends with the nurses or the doctors. They labelling the patients. Where was this hospital, 1940s Berlin? Infected. Do not go near. Yeah, it's a traumatic that sounds. deep, deep drama. Yeah, she seemed quite happy with it. They'd also drawn like an X on her hand that looked like... Are you sure they're her friends?

Mate, she's going down to protest. She's striking next week. That's what this is, well. And then they just punch her in the nose and it bleeds, and then they have to help her because they're they're they're they're they're they're they're because they're because they're because they're because they're because they're because they're because they're because they're because they're because they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed.

The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C.A. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. So how do you stop a three-year-old like that? Well you don't if you do, spend my life being like oh don't don't don't know no no no no no right don't worry just go just leave the room

because you just cut because he looks like an angel I don't mean this I know everyone says this but he's got a blonde curly hair he looks like to be a very white Eurocentric person of an angel yeah yeah yeah exactly I know a hospital we could get a job in. And he just looks at me like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tho. today today today today today to to to to to to no to no. no. exactly. I know a hospital we could get a job in. And he just looks at me like, like today with the pens he was like, oh, I done a drawing. And then you can't really shower that, can you? So I just sound like a twice. I go, what do we say? Pens are for paper? Aren't they? Pens are for paper? And the floor is not paper but he's not saying it I'm saying it like I'm Penn Duffel paper. Do you believe it as you say it? No the thing is with him he's oh he's such a liability honestly he's a rogue his

cat he's absolute bastard you have constantly say something to him over and over again like did you like you hear me where you're listening is and he can be three rooms away and you'll be like oh you know for his birthday we need to sort out a cake and he's like yeah I want chocolate cake and you like you fuck I like I follow you around being like did you hear me you need to put your shoes on you to put your nothing so he's really my daughter's much more argumentative how good to the option which you the you you you you you you you you the the you you the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they're they're they're they to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they they thy they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're take over the options? I quite like the argumentity because at least you know they're listening. So if you say, put your shoes on, she's like, I don't want to, and I'm not going to. And you feel like, okay, we can have a conversation like you're engaged with me.

Was him, you're like, I don't know if he knows I'm here? the waive? What's happening? Oh god, yeah. If my daughter's watching TV, it's fucking insane how close I can be to her and she isn't hearing me speak. I can't believe this is happening, how she can tune in on it. And I believe she's doing it. I don't believe she's playing me. No, I think they genuinely can't hear you at our points. And also depends what you're competing with as well. We say so much shit to them. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Brush your team shoes on upstairs, have you done your own? What do you want to eat below it? I'm surprised I don't just scream that's fuck off. Leave me on. They do. They draw on the floor and go this is my way of saying fuck you. Yeah, fucking

giving it all that all morning. So all they write your notes and say, you don't love me. Yeah, it's just difficult, isn't it when, I mean, the stupid thing to say, but when two kids are very different, you're constantly having to re-evaluate your parenting. Because you're like, well, this worked for six years, and now it doesn't. So you're like, oh, shit, Well, I listened to this show a lot actually. I found it quite helpful with that beginning bit when I was like. But not the later episodes. Okay. But not the later episodes. Okay, but. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th The early ones really, I don't know, they had the, you know, freshness but. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, it's difficult, it's difficult, it's difficult, it's difficult, it's difficult, no, she was about three-ish when the lockdown happened, and I was pregnant, when it all began, also a giant, a giant cherub, you need to imagine, a giant drunk cherub.

How big was he? He was nearly 10 pounds and I... Oh mama. And I'm, you've met me, you've met me, I'm not ta. You're not a 10 pounder, I'm a small person. Yeah, you're not a 10 pounder but not you Karen I don't think. They made me go in for scans every single week because they refused to believe I didn't have gestational diabetes. They kept saying who tested you this can't be right. They said he's so big. This is mad. I was like stop saying

it's a friend of a woman. Yeah and then with the last scan she went what's your plans. the thanks I the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last scan she went he he he he he he he he he s. he said he said he said he s. he. he said. he he they he he he he he he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's they's they're they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they to to to to to to to to to te. I. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I te. I'm going to have a lecture she was like I have to say I I have to strongly advise you not to try and do this naturally. Well first I say it's vaginally not naturally but also I was like no don't worry she was like God thank God because that yeah you can't no one should all right good luck. Okay. But yeah. So vaginally, the correct term, not naturally. Because naturally sounds like, so I've had two C-sections and naturally makes it sound like, well you did it the weird way, didn't you? The freaky way, not natural. So you're supposed to say vaginally or C-section, because, but they all say to you,

did you have it naturally. No, I had it the the to say it to say to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, vaguaguaguaguaguaguaguaguaginally, the the their, vaginally, vaginally, vaginally, vaginally, the the the the the the the the the the the the their, vaginally, vaginally, vaginally, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, vague, their, vague, vaguely, their, their, vaguely, vaguely, vaguely, their, vaguely, vaguely, say, vaguely, their, vaguely, vaguely, their, vaguely, vaguely, vaguely, vaguely, vaguely, vaguely, say, vaguely, say, vaguely, say, say, say, vaguely, say, say, say, say, say, say, no, I had it with the evil of science. I do apologize. I just find, I don't know why, but maybe it's because I'm immature, but just starting the word vaginally. I know, it's not great, is it? You've got to get into the innerly so quick. If you want to say, if you're like, if you're, I don't know, I'm the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to constantly say to me, you didn't have it naturally. Because then you're like, well, I, aliens didn't come down and take me away. It was like, did you have it naturally or did the magic of science save your life would be a better way. Yes, very nice. That's a nice way. Yeah, maybe we don't need to make the natural.

Vaginel. Yeah, stop saying you. Move away. I've heard word badge from your... I don't like saying badge. I keep saying badge. I haven't said it. Sorry, this it's very child. Can I ask a question? Is your husband big? Yes. He's six foot four. Right. That makes sense. But they literally don't care. He didn't go, come on, look at him. I kept saying, he'd come to scan so I'd be, well I mean it's not surprising and they'd go, yeah, we only take your height and weight into consideration. And I was like, this isn't the virgin birth. I didn't do this by myself. Like, thi thi. that's the the their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thin. thin. to come, to come, come, come, come, come. to come, come, come, come, come. to come. to come. to come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to come. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. to. They were like, oh yeah, maybe that's why, because he's quite big. And I was like, yeah, I think. So, yeah, it was massive. I do find that happen sometimes,

like happens in our family, where Lou's mom will always go, oh my god, your daughter's they look so much like, and she'll list like her children, and her family. did when he was she got nah no no no no no no no I know they came out of loose she's pure what's whatever whatever whatever you want trees up whatever I know I had friends do that to me as well when my daughter was young they go I just she just looks like your husband I'd be like it's a bit like no nothing of you can't see it absolutely can't see it and you go wow I feel, I feel shit when you say that. Really shit.

Well, what I used to get is, when they're badly behaved, they're like, oh, I was a bit of a dad coming out now, oh, what, so they don't look like me when they're a prick, it's mortal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got loads of ADHD in my family. So when they're like really hype everyone, well, well, well, well, they're, they're, they're, they're, to, they're, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, they're, tha, thi, oh, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, that. Oh, that, that. Oh, that. that. tha. tha. tha. they're, tha. tha. that. they're that. that. that. th problem are you bringing to the table? Yeah what damage have I put into their body DNA-wise before the world's even had an attempt at them? It's not fair is it because in the olden days you wouldn't know you'd just be like oh they're a bit bo when he's had too much. He shouldn't have too much, that's it.

So what was your sublet on the percentile thing? I love that word as well. It's the only word you ever hear with babies the percentile. 99 percentile. 99 percentile. The big one. and then 95th for weight. Really? Yeah, and he's still, you have to go in there too, you know, to get like measured. And the woman was like, oh, I have to, I'll have to keep rolling out my paper

because you have to lie him down to measure them. Oh, a lot of, he's so, he's so, so three and he's three and he's talle as to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I............... I................................................................................. to,. to,. to,. to,. to,. to,. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, just big. And when my mom took him when he was about two to the doctors to measure him and they measure their head, they're high, yeah, she tried to measure his head, head, I was like, oh, the graph's not big enough. My mom was like, okay, well I can't make his head smaller so you're gonna have have a a a big a big a big. to get a big, you have have have have a big, I, I to get a big, I, I, I, I to get to get to get to get to get a big, I, I, I, I, th. the th. their, their, their, their, their, and he's, their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and he, and he, and he, and he. their, and he, and he. their, and he, and he, and he, and he, and he, he, and he, and he, and he, he, and he, and he, he, their, their, he, and he, their, their, their, their, th. th. their, th. th. th. th. th. their, measure, measure, measure, measure, measure, their, measure, their, measure, measure, their, their, measure, their, measure, measure, their he was like the hundred and fifth. Oh my God. He has got a giant head. Yeah, that's what I've had. What's funny about having a giant one? It makes everyone really happy. Like nurses and mid-what, they love you. Oh, he's a lovely big one, isn't he?

He's good. When he had his injections, they went,thighs are so fat. So when they put the needle in, it's just they don't really notice it happening as much because obviously thin ones, it's like it's more painful. And obviously they're worried, obviously it's horrible if your baby's underweight, it's stressful, whereas if you're overweight, they literally would take one look at him and go, oh, he's fine he was a girl? What would you be like stressing? Big, big, strong girl.

All big girl. Yeah. I remember when I first had it, I was trying, I had all this trouble with feeding him in the hospital. And this midwife came around. And you know, you're trying to not give too much, you know, all this massive bottle formula like the ready-made one, stuck a tea on it and then just shoved it and he downed it like a pint. And she went, he's hungry. She was like, you just feed him. And then he slept for like four hours after that. And I thought, yeah, okay. As long as you kept him fed, he's fine. That's happened to my mom because obviously we had a giant one. Giant Joe at the giant one. Because we had. We had wea, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, we had, obviously, we had, obviously, obviously, obviously, we had, obviously, obviously, obviously, we had th, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, th, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, th, obviously, th, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, he th. He hea, he hea, he hea, he hea, he hea, he hea, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he th. He, he th. He's th. He's thin, he's thin, he's th. He's thin, he's th. He's thee. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's like keep up with feeding him so I went on to bottle feeding him and even then like with the formula wasn't enough when it was about

a bump folder is crushing up Rusk biscuits into the formula to try and fill him up. Yeah, that's what my mom said to do because she did that with my brother she was like just put some baby rice in it. I was like just put some baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. Just the the the th. Just the the the the the th. Just the the the th. Just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the f. Just. Just. Just the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just the formula the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just the f. Just, I just the f. Just, I just the f. Just, I just the f. Just, I just the f. Just, I the f. Just, I just the f. Just, I th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. Just th. th. the f. the formula the formula the formula th. the f. the formula the f. the formula the formula the formula the formula, just the forums are telling you you're evil. Yeah, yeah, don't do that. But yeah, he just eats and eats. He is like, he can push me over. He can push me over. He was having intention. I bent down to try and speak to him. He's like, you know, and he just did a shove and I just tall are you carrying? I'm only five three, to be fair. He's half as tall as me already. What the fuck I got to do when he gets older? I can't. Literally I've decided he can't do what he likes. I have no control over, I'm like, I'm controlling the older one. She's small. She's like me, she's really tiny. So that's my focus. She's going to be all my focus. Because I can't the the the the focus. the focus. the focus. the focus. the focus. he's he's he's he's he's to he's to to to the focus. the focus. he's the focus. he's he's he's going to he's going to to be all he's to be all to he gets to be all to be all to be all to be all to be all to be to be to he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he gets he's going. he's going. he's going. he's going. he's going. he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he he he he he. he. he. he. he he. he. he. the he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the stairs just leave with the bottom yeah

with four pints of milk just leave him there a couple of biscuits I feel bad because people do and also they do that thing they assume he's older yeah because he's so massive really protective over that well he is only two but he looked like he's four they expect too much of him they expected to. Yeah, they do. I used to think how much they fucking expected him. He's only four. Isn't like he should be doing the dinner?

No, but they talk to you in that way and also because he speaks, like he can talk, but he sounds like a nearly three-year-old. And I see people go, oh, oh, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he, oh, he's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's only. th. He's only. th. He's only. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's They're like, oh, why is he speaking like that? Or, um, but yeah, like he, he's sort of like a strong man. In the pay ground, he gets all the big kids on the roundabout, then he pushes them all. And if you try and say, do you want to get on, he's like, no, I push. And then he pushes like seven, five-year-olds, just round around, around, and they they they they they they they terrible feeling that you're going to be stood on the side of a rugby pitch in 10 years. Oh, I don't, I know. I've already thought that might happen, yeah. Are you in trendy East London? Where do you live? Because that dictates... No, I'm in much more boring North London.

Yeah, that could get a bit poshable, a rugger couldn't it, the biggest kids at school, in PE, they were just the best to everything. We don't, we're not sporty, we don't offer any sports turn, do you reckon? No, but he's, rugby players aren't sporty either, rugby players aren't sport. Really? Well I don't know, like me and my husband are particularly, I'm not not too happy, he won't be a fun, he's really, really the anti-sport, you know, and the they. and they. they, you know, they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's ri, he's ri, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, ri, ri, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their-sport you know and he was massive at school and he said the same thing they would say please come and play rugby and he would just stand there like reading his poetry at the side and they'd be like run why don't you run I don't like it it's very violent so we're hoping he'll go down that road oh man I hated rugby it was just the worst thing in the world I remember some girls in my year campaigned so that we would do to the the the the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that the the the the the the the that that the the the the the tho tho tho the the they were th to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th th th th the the the the the the the to the to to to the to the to the the the to thou to the the the they were they were they were the they were they were the. I remember some girls in my year campaigned so that we would do rugby and I was absolutely outraged. I was like why? So one good thing that we don't have to do I was so pissed off. Yeah that's the problem with certain like feminism and equality you can talk yourself into a sit-track you don't really want but it feels like the right thing to do, isn't it? I was like guys this is awful and we went and we did it wen't we we we we we we we we we we did we did we did we did th and did th and did it th and did it th and did it th and did it th and did it th and did it th and did it th and did it th and did it th and did it th and did it th th th th th thin the the the that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that th mud and I was like take me back to gymnastics like fine I cannot cope with it. Oh can't we do pattern swirling in the hall?

Yes with the heating on. So yeah who knows he's quite sporty at the moment actually so maybe you will be I don't know oh you just got to accept it haven't you like get what you're given yeah it's so funny I'm like middle class families but oh god he's got into sport. And then we've not working class follies go, yeah, he's only reading fucking poetry at the pitch. I know. I know. Well, we did say, we were talking about it. I was like, look, if you're sporty,

I would never discourage it. I'd be like, great, that's just that thing of like you have to then learn a whole vocabulary of how something works and how do you encourage it because you didn't you didn't do it? I grew up doing like loads of I was like full-on dance kid. Yeah. Like I have made her go to ballet but she prefers gymnastics but she prefers gymnastics. So is there a big difference between because my daughter's into, she likes gymnastics but she loves strictly as well so I thou they're in the kind. Oh. the the same. the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind. the kind the kind. the kind. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm like like like like like like like like th. I'm liked. I'm liked. I'm liked. I'm liked. I'm liked. I'm like th. I'm like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm like the the the to tho to thooo to thoooo to the thoooo the thi thi thi thi the oh they're in the same area. Not really. No. They'd get annoyed with you if you said that. Kind of they are when they're kids. They're in the kind of same ballpark, right?

In the same one. Yeah, they're tight clothes. You have to be athletic and they all shag each other. That's just what you want you said to a footballer, oh it's just rugby isn't it but you put it on the ground they'd be like maybe different. So you were are you taking your daughter to gymnastics classes? Yeah, she her friend went then she started but I never did gymnastics it was like to be fair there just wasn't one where I lived there was dance so that's what the like really good and like really really flexible and so like so she's had loads of encouragement. It's like of mice and men you're out isn't it? We call

him George sometimes easy George easy Lenny. Yeah that's what it looks like she's kind of like the small smart one yeah and then he's like very amenable and large and I do worry that she's like the evil genius. Yeah. They must ever listen to this right you'll delete that for they go. Yeah yeah by the time they're old enough. I'd love it if he's a poet and one of his quotes is a meanable and large Carriad Lloyd mother. At the moment I haven't seen much poetry I've seen a meanable and large at the moment. The gymnastics, could I ask you what's your gymnastics medal situation? Are you constantly paying for pointless medals? No, her friend competes like all the time and goes like all around the country and you know they're six

yeah and they do these proper competitions but my daughter, bless her she's really good but we've hit this she won't practice anything so I've said to her she was like I didn't get a medal and I was like, well, her best friend like lives in our block and I said, look, she practices every night, you know, she does her routine, do you practice? Do you want to do that? Oh no, and I'm not pushing it. I'm just like, look, if you want medals, I'll help you, I'll practice. But then you can't moan about not having medals because you're not the medals. You their their their their thapapapapapap. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. thi. thi. You that. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. they they the. they they theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee practices practices practices they practice practice practice they, do you want to watch telly or medal? Telly. So I was like, okay well then you don't get a medal, this is fine. My seven-year-old refuses all clubs. Oh really? No, don't want to do that? Nah, she's very outgoing and when goes to birthday parties and she'll get bit where she's a school day

and she loves doing it right so she's concentrated whatever the teacher's saying, she's taking it in and she's trying to do it and she's trying to do it and she's try and then I think at the end of day she's like I should set me home for a bit of a time fair play. She'd like to go off. to the tho their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. Yeah. Yeah. My daughter. My daughter said. My daughter said to say say say say say say say say say say say, to to to to to to say. My to say. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My daughter. My. My. My. My daughter. My. My. My. My. My. My daughter. My. My. My. My. My daughter. My. My. My. My daughter. to to to to the to the the tod tod tod today. today. to to today. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toda. I just like, of course, yeah because she does want to switch off. She's had a whole fucking day of people and people. And she just wants to stare at the TV like I want to stare at the TV like I want to stare at the TV two hours later. Yeah. My daughter wasn't into them but lockdown is what got her because she couldn't do anything for so long so then when I said to her do this she was like I want to do this and I want to do this because she was like I can't believe I get to do thin and I think if we haven't had lockdown she would be quite anti-club but because of that when she started school we joined like all this stuff because she'll go I don't do that they're they're the they I they I they I they I they I they I they I they I they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try to to to to to to to to th to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they do that that week and I'm like tough shit. Yeah. You signed up. We paid for a term. Yeah. You're doing it. Once they've paid and you're forcing them through it because you feel you should

get your money's worth. That's not a good position. It's the loveless. That's childhood. That's childhood. That's childhood. I'll just go. Go and then I don agreed the contract. That's not how you become a ballerina guys, that's not how you do it. You go until you cry until you hate it. Yeah, I just sort of think if they hate it, what's the, yeah, no. What you getting your money's worth, just really traumatising your child. I'd say the 10 weeks of kiddie kicks has put my daughter's their to kitts. I've tta, I tta, I tta, tta, th tha, th th thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, I thin, I've thin, thi, thi, I've thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thooo, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo my daughter is very annoying because she will say she doesn't want to go and then if you get her to the building, she runs in and you're like, are you okay, fine, leave me alone. So we have this thing of like, again, my husband is very like, we don't want to push her. But also if you then go, okay we'll go home then, okay, then, and we'll go, and then, and then, and then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, tho, tho, th you'll th you'll th you'll th you'll th. th. th you'll th you'll th. th. th you'll th you'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the. the. the. the. thea. to thea. to thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' the. the. th quite good if they're there longer as well, isn't it, at school. Yeah, it's candy. That helps.

Is it a gymnastics where you watch, or is it a gymnastics where you sit outside on your phone? No, you watch, but you can also be on your phone. Who's watching? We do sometimes fight about who's taking her to gymnastics. Leave them there,'s in the older group. And so she's on her phone. She's on a phone. Carriads doing rolling, polling. She's on a phone. She's on a phone. She's on the phone. He's not fine doing back flips. Big boys in the corner, bench pressing a bench. He's not allowed to come anymore because he was too disruptive on all the equipment. There's like no barrier he didn't bar him but we had to be like. to. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's been barred from gymnastics. Well, they didn't bar him, but we had to. He literally was just like, and again, it's so jolly, he's just running in like, ah, I guess.

Yeah, well, it's hard at that age, because I was watching an assembly today. Oh, lovely. Lovely. Lovely, lovely, the assembly. Yeah, it was my daughter's love. That's love. We just made a rule if we, what's it, divide and conquer. So one of us would take her to gym. One of us takes him to run around the playground. Because it was just, because he's so strong.

Is he really strong or are you particularly weak, Carriad? Because this is something we've got to try and get the level of. I mean, I am not a strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong strong. happen. I'm normally very stubborn but honest to God. So the other kids watching they'll be like right, can't you know Sebastian come and sit down I've got some snacks and they'll go okay mommy he just goes no thanks mom and then just runs or he'll grab the snacks off you and then run or if I try and say because sit on my lap he won't be strapped into a buggy he's just he's a tornado so you don't bring the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to to. to. I's a to. I's a to. I's a to me to me to. I I I I I I I I I I I I I to. to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the. I'm to. I'm to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. I'm. I'm. to. to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm to. I'm. bring the tornado to gymnastics camp because it's not fair. Yes. Oh wow. Can I ask one more question on this?

Yeah, as a veteran of the park, what's it like at the play park with a, I suppose he's just feels like an older kid at the play park, right? Yeah, they just treat him like one of the gang. Because we live in, we know what London's like, it's a series of villages, so you know most of the kids in your local playground and they all go to her school. So they're just like, oh, he's the little brother, he's part of the gang. So he runs around with the bigger ones, but then he gets very sad when a game happens that he doesn't understand or she'll say, he's following me, he's like why won't play why no why not play just go your speech isn't good enough because you're younger and you can't keep up with the premise of the game and it ruins it for the older kids now fucking sit there stop breaking things you brute but do you have this though because I think you

relate to the one that you are in the order so I'm a younger sister so I always feel quite I really feel for him I find it harder because I'm like why don't just let him play come on because I'm basically saying to my older brother I only get me played so I'm like way more on the younger sibling side and I think oh it is hard for her as well like you know just because your brother would let you play he man for ages I'm a middle child and that's why I've not gone for a third right right interesting interesting but my brother was six th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm just just just just just just th. I'm just just th. I'm just just just just just just just just just just th. I'm just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. th th. th. th. the th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm the the the th. I'm a the the the the the th. I'm a the the the. I'm a the the the. I'm the the. I'm the the the the. I'm the the the. I'm the the. I've not gone for a third. Right, interesting. But my brother was six years older and I remember he was very particular about his toys and like playing on his own. And I remember though my mom would like build a fault around him in the front room so he could

play with his toys in the corner and I wasn't allowed to go over there, which I don't think is very good parenting. And I think it creates this beast. Just FYI mom. I to hold it to her face as I'd think looking back I don't think that was the best way to deal with me. What do you wish she would have done? What do you think would be better? I think to explain to the older child that let them play a little bit. It's different if there's a big group doing something like that but just playing with some to toy. toy. to to to to play to play to play to play the to play the to play to play to play. I I I their to play. I the to play. I. I. I's. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. to be to be to be to be to be to be th. I'm just. to be just. to be just. to just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just, to just, to just, to just, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. I. I. I's, I. I I I's, I. I's, I. I's, I's, the the the the the the the the the the th. I's, I'm just, their, their, th. thi. thi. to to to to thi. I'm just to to to to to be to be to be thi. I'm just just just, to just, thi. I'm just just just, thi. I think you have to get the older kid to sort of, you know, we have to do it with our daughter sometimes because she's got younger sister and her cousin's younger, sometimes she'll get frustrated and you have to, I feel like, oh no look, understand that. Yeah, they're younger, they don't know, yeah. Yes, or you go, I tell you what, then, why don't you go and why don't you go and th you go, why don't you go, why, why, why, why, why, th you go, why, th you go, th you go, th you go, why, th you go, th you go, why, th you go, why, th, why, th, why, th you, th, why, th you, th you, thin, thin't thin, thin, th, and why, th, and why, th. And, thi, and why, and thi, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi. And, thi. thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thing that they like to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you have to do isn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's what I'd probably suggest but it's very awkward when you have kids and you talk to your parents about the way they

parents and then because it actually comes up because why don't you do that and I go well no I don't think that's the right thing to do and I'llist? Yeah. Because I am and it's costing me money. How about, you have a little chat to therapist for a bit and then it will sort of say, we'll sort meet in the middle. Yeah, we do do lots of sharing and actually they're pretty good, I have to say. They have their moments, obviously. If there's a moment, it'll just smash your head. This is amazing. It would be a fair fire. They haven't realized yet that he's bigger and stronger. He's the little brother. So at the moment he still thinks she is in charge.

And I don't know when it's going to come. A lot of parents say that to me at the playground. They're like, oh, one day he's going to push her over, isn't it? Because at the moment she might push, and he, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he, oh, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he........ He. He. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi she went flying them. Because he's just so, he just gave her like what he considered a small shove. Honestly she's like a wisp. She's like a fairy, she's really really small. So she just went push. She was like, Mommy, he pushed me right over and I'm like, yeah, he's fucking. Is it like when Toby McGuire realizes he's Spider-Man? Yes, exactly. But that didn't twig in their mind when that happened. They haven't got there yet because she's quicker, isn't she?

Like, you know, she's sick so she'll outsmart him with something and he'll be like, oh, I don't understand. But when he realizes, because that's thing, I'm younger sibling, but I have an older brother who was much bigger. So like he could always things I would never catch up but it's going to be interesting to see what happens when he overtakes her. Something that my parents did, which I don't think this will help or not, but my brother's two and a half years younger, but my brother's two and a half years younger than you. We've already told me that they made some bad decisions so I'll take this one. So he was always two years younger and the giant, so th so, so, so, th so, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, thi, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but thi, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's thi's, thi's thi's thi's th. Blamey. So he was always my size really from when I was four and two like same height and then even maybe a little bit taller at points when he had to grove spurts and then when he got to 16 he sort of shut up to like six and three

and I stayed around like five foot eight and thrown. But what my mom and dad did tha tha th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that tho tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho-up that tho-up tho-up th-up th-up their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the they they they they they th th th th th th th th thu-soe. thu-soe that's that's tho-soe tho-soe tho-soe tho' too' too' too' too' too' too' to' too'-s tho'-and tho'-and tho'-and tho' tho' th, Boxing Day would fight each other in the front room with boxing gloves on. Okay, okay. How was this only just come up three years in? Keep talking. Keep talking, yeah. I want to find a photo of that. Yeah, so at Christmas we'd get shouts on, pair of boxing gloves each and have a fight in the front room and my dad would rife. Wow. And how did this help? What was the positive? Entertainment for the older family members? Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what people like goading you on? Like in a car park? Come on, big job. Yeah, but it was quite sort of good fun in a way. I love it. And were you

wearing like proper boxing shorts? Not proper shorts, but gloves. I've got I've got the photo somewhere. were topless yeah just two topless children knocking tell bells of shit out of each other but then it'll be going but you're older rob I'm like he's fucking massive I see so that was the the two skills you're two years older but he's bigger who will win age or strength yes they call it a fair fai yeah I see it's all done it's all th I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they took took they took they they took they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they of course. You don't get two boxes in the ring and go, but what's the age difference, it's two years. It doesn't matter. No, exactly. It never comes up in boxing. You know? It's two school years, he's year 11, come on, this is like not even fair. At that age, at age, when someone's pubed up and you have a that is unfair in that age. Me and I, yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it, thi, tho, it's tho, it's tho, it, it, it's tho, it's not tho, it's tho, it's tho, it's never, it's never, it's never, it's never, it's never, it's never, it's never, it's never, it's never never never, it, it, it, it, it's never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never. Yeah, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's th. Yeah, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's not thin, it's not that's not thatee. It's not thatease. It's not thatease. It's never, it's never, it's not thatease. It's never comes, it we still say do you know the year above though oh that makes sense yeah they're two years below like we still talking school years about everybody she's two years below oh I thought she seemed young yeah that makes sense still

categorizing it we're not just gonna talk to you about your massive child I found the boxing photo here there we' the box in photo here the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I I their I I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th tho. tho. their the. their their their tho. their th tho. the tho. the their their their their their their their their. Here we go. Okay, well we are actually. I'm actually doing something I think it's quite boomery. I'm taking a photo of my computer screen to show you on Zoom. All right, Granddad's yeah. Yeah, I don't have to. Oh my God. Amazing. That's so good. That's my dad in the background watching. Can we put that on our Instagram? Yeah we can put it on our Instagram. Carriad. Yes. Here's a change into us and promo from a boxing photo. Yes. Was it during the lockdown that you wrote your book? Yeah. With your two

children there? Yes. Your book you are not alone. Now if people don't know you're one of the original queens of podcasting. The OG. Yeah. You are the Pele of podcast. Whereas we're obviously messy and renowned. How long have you been griefing on the podcast? Not grieving, let's not get into that part, but an actual podcast. Seven years. Seven years. Yeah.

The end of 2016, yeah. Griefcast. Yeah, grievecast. So I interview comedians about their experiences of grief and death because my the the the the the the the about their experiences of grief and death because my dad died when I was 15. So I've been talking about it for a long time and then in 2016 if you remember everyone was kind of getting podcasts and I had lots of comedian friends because it was only really comedians

who were doing it. And I literally was walking down the road and I thought oh everyone's got a podcast what what I do? And I thought oh I'd probably talked to people about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the their to the to to their to to to to to their th.. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh.. Oh..... Oh. Oh. Oh.... Oh.. Oh.. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's., oh, I'd probably talk to people about death. And then I laughed because I thought, that's a terrible idea. And here we are, seven years on. Yeah, I thought, oh my God, that's terrible. And I thought, oh, no one would listen to that. And I was pregnant with my daughter. And so not much acting work when you are pregnant, I said it was true. So I thought oh well maybe I'll start to podcast now because I got some free time and she was two weeks overdue and so in that two

weeks I'd recorded four interviews with Pasco Adam Buxton Jade Adams and producer John Harvey so I had this two weeks late child and you know when you I don't know you were like it's just massive and just so bored and so in that that time I learned how to edit and upload it and did it the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the the to to to to to to the to the to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they I I I I I I I was I was I was they. I'm I'm just just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm justtime grief cast wouldn't exist. But because she was so late I was like oh I might as well do it then when I'm sat here waiting. That's amazing is it because I think you have those little moments in your life where it's gone to huge success you've got a book deal now and the books coming out it's out of the moment and you could be negative about it the to the to I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's I's I's I's I'm I'm I'm th th th th th th th th th th th thin is th th th th th thin thin thin's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the I the I the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theeeeeeeeeeeeee theee the the the the it happen to me? I need the baby to come so I can get back to work, blah, blah, blah, but actually, you know, I'll say Josh just all the time, like, we don't know enough about what's going to happen to know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but actually what could be a bad thing on paper stressful but I think what I did without thinking about it was I created a job I could do with a child.

So then once I had her and obviously then I started getting all these emails from people being like, oh my god I didn't know other people felt grief was like this. I thought I was the only one who felt like this I thought I was having a a breakdown but it's actually grief so I started I thought I thought I thought I th a th a th. I th. I th. I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I thought I was a the the to th. a the the to the to the the th. I was a the the the thr- a the to have a to have a thr- a to to to to to to to to their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the job I could thr- I could thr- I could thr-a thr-a thra toda try. try. try. toda' try today try today try throe. throeat thr-Ithat worked with having a newborn. So I was able to go and record and I was able to edit at night. So it became like a perfect job for having a small baby. I mean not, you know, there's other ideal today. Yeah. Or having a child care. But it definitely worked.

And then, yeah, with the second one. So I got the podcast if people haven't heard it also because it's brilliant because it's not like sad and depressing to listen to. It's not too bleak I would say. You talk about the subject in a much broader way than that. Yeah I try and say like it's a really honest practical chat about grief so my goal with it always was that when you listen to an episode at the end of the end of it you felt maybe 10% better so I to think to to think think think think to think to to think think to think th so I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th I I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I'm th I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to think, oh I feel worse now. I'm like, God, that was depressing. Yeah. We aim for 5% on this podcast, don't we want to feel worse. That's why I interviewed comedians, because comedians make jokes at inappropriate times. And so I was like, if we talk about grief,

I know they'll crank jokes. And then you'll have an hour where you've talked about it, you said this how I felt, but also there's jokes. And I talk to other people now as well, but I still love the episodes of Communions because it's just a space where you can be like, this was really shit, it's one of the worst things that have happened to be, but also this was quite funny and I got through it just lost someone very important to you, it feels like I'm never going to feel happy again. I'm never going to find a way out of this. And to hear other people on the journey who were like, look, I did make it through, I don't know how, it was difficult, but I did it, you kind of go, oh, okay, this is possible to get through this beginning of grief. I was going to say. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was to say. I was to say. I was to say. I was to say. I was to say. I was to say. I was to say. I was going to say. I was to say. I was to say. to say, to hear. I was to hear. to hear. I was. I was to hear. I to hear. I'm to hear. I'm to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And the the the the the the to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And to hear. And, to hear. And, the to hear. And, the the the the the the the the the to hear. And, the the the the the the to hear, the the to hear. I. And, to hear. And, the the the the the the the th, oh, there'll be an initial period of feeling like that, and then you slowly get over it, or sometimes it's longer than you expect. But then even like years later, it can crop up in different ways where something can slightly

trigger it or for you when you lost your dad, but then you have your own children, your brain automatically starts thinking, oh, you know, when you first time people would have met them, so, yeah, it's a their......... So, their. So always orbit you as a person, isn't it? Yeah, massively. I'm so, like, it's so nice to hear you say that because so many people don't think that. And I get interviewed so much and they're like, oh, you know, when do you get over it? You don't. Question one, when do you get over it? Yeah, oh my god. Honestly, I wrote about, I wrote about it. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. I to th. It's the thi. It's th. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to that, to that, to that, that, that, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's so thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. It's so that thing of like, what I try and explain to you was like, I don't wake up every

day weeping and I don't like have a framed picture of him like, you know, surrounded in black glaze I cry to every morning. Like, most days I'm fine. But if you say to me, oh, is that a sad thing that happened to you? It's like, yeah, of course it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, their. It is, their. It's a their. It's a their. their. their. th. th. their. their. thi. th. to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. the to. the the the the the you're looking for it to like go away, but like life grows around it basically. So you always have it, you carry it with you, and especially that's a massive thing for my listeners when they have kids because it just suddenly you're, if you've lost a parent, or even if you've lost a sibling as well because suddenly you might see two kids and you see them interacting, oh that's what I've lost. And with my dad thi that that that that tho that's that's that's that's thi that's thu that's thu. that's thu. that's thu. that's that's thu. that's thi. tho that's that's tho thoes. that's thathea. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thatheu. thatheu. thatheu. thatheu. the. the. thea. thatea. thea. that's a thea. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's what I've lost and with my dad not being around I was really close to my grandpa so when I had my daughter I was like

oh she she doesn't get a grandpa like that was he was like this huge part of my life and she gets an amazing grandma like my mom is like proper proper proper involved with my kids thank God because we need the help Jesus Christ just for strength more than everything My mom's gymnastics so she is very, yeah, bloody hell. He's strong, he's strong, every time, every time. He's a big strong boy. Getting down the beckoning boxing gym, mate. So yeah, I think you do have to reframe the grief every time. That might be, like if you don't have kids, you know, there's other things, you might just get to the age. to. You. You. You. You. to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the to. And, the the the the the the other things you might just get to the age they were when they died or you might move away or they sell the family hope. There's all these things that happen as you get older. I think it's quite subconscious as well sometimes.

One Sunday I was really down, you know sometimes I just feel so down and fed up and then I was sort of driving to work then basically I was driving past a certain area and I remember that's one that's one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their that's their their their their that's that's th is that's that's that's that's th is thi. that's thi. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th I th I that's th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th is th is th is thi I thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi's thi. I thi's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi's thi. I'm thi's thi. But it happened so long ago and it's sort of like, but like my subconscious had sort of joined the dots but the rest of me hadn't and it wasn't too late that day. And I was like, well is that just a coincidence or is that deeper and it sort of comes out on its own? But I was like, wow, what a weird coincidence? It was funny as it was. brain sometimes gives you just enough of what you can handle so your brain sometimes is like, you're just gonna give you sadness and you're gonna drive you past the place and then late in the day you're gonna remember because if you

had all that... You gotta go do a tour show so I won't be full grief right now but to say what on the drive home you're gonna be pretty sad yeah the people of Margate still had that, the things that like sort of don't occur to you, especially after I had my first child, it was a bit easier the second time because you're kind of like, okay, I've done this, I do know he's not here, he's not going to see them. It's still hard, but like you're a bit more prepared for it. But yeah, with my first one, I think, it's not when, it's their, it's their, it's, it's, it's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, like, like, like, their. It's a. It's a. It's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their, their. their, s happen or the big thing I wrote about it in the book actually was like being in a playground and seeing a grandpa and you know when grandpa's like they always push the kids too high and like he was like not looking and he was pushing there was a woman on the other side being like oh John oh be careful oh she's falling out and I was like oh yeah that's oh that that energy you know you just don't get that and and th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I I that I was like like like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh I was like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh I I I I I I that I that I that I that I was like like like like like oh I was like oh I was like oh that I was like I was like oh that I that I was like I was like oh that I was like oh like and I was like oh yeah that's that energy you know you just don't get that

and and then I I think what you realize and this probably comes back to what we're saying is you realize they are going to have a different childhood to you and that's okay like you don't have to recreate it you can't you can't tak good bits and you know she they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th I th th th th th thi thi they tho the. thi to thi the. thi the. thi tho. tho. tho. that's tho. that's tho. that's tho. the. the. the. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the. I the. I the. I the. they're to they're that's they're that's they're really close. They bigger, like an old married couple. So, yeah, but I think it's like they don't know any different where I grew up and my dad's parents died when I was like, well one before I was born, the one when I was like really young and then my granddad died when I was really young and the my that than still alive. We didn't see my name that much either so I was like I don't really have ever had grandparents but I don't feel like I've missed out. Because I never had it like it wasn't like

I'm going to stay at grandparents for the weekend or get taken on a day trip that never happened but I don't feel I missed out. The only thing I do have though is I'm not sympathetic to older people as people that had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had the th. th. th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I'm not as th. I'm not as to have to have to the. I'm not as to to to to to to to to to th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as th. I'm not as I'm not as I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm not as I'm not as the. I'm not as the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I've the th Other people see an old person and they go, oh bless her, she's just, and I'm like, get the fucking way, come on. I feel like that when, you know, somebody says, oh my dad passed away and you're like, how old did they say like, you know, oh he's 85? 85, no way. Yeah, yeah. It's not bad though, isn't it's not top trumps but if it was I'd win. But I should say obviously in the show there's no grief hierarchy just in case people play if you feel your... Okay there is a little bit but that. My whole book is about like

don't judge people but I'm just admitting that obviously you do. Everyone judges everyone a little bit now and again carrier don't beat yourself. Yeah yeah yeah well. Well the book as opposed to the podcast it's the the the the the the the the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast is is is the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast is the podcast is the podcast is the podcast is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the there is there is there is there is there is there's something there for everyone, right? Yeah, definitely. I mean, it's definitely, I talked to people like, as I say, who've joined the club, but I wanted it to be for anyone who's, you know, willing to have these thoughts about, like, what am I going to do, or planned, or if you know someone who's grieving, how can you help them, and it's a mix, it's come up on the show again and again so I guess like what you've had yeah after 200 episodes you're like this keeps happening people keep feeling bad about grieving incorrectly so I wrote a whole chapter about like why there is no right way to grieve and why the grief psychologists say that and yeah when you do a podcast you sort of accidentally do research research research and so you're like I've to cloat-a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the to to to to the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tea. the tea. tea. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theto 200 people about their grief as if I'm like a research

scientist. And so I kind of try to collate all the really useful things like the fact that you know so much of what we think is correct grief is Victorian and like we can just kind of throw it away we don't need that anymore. Digital grief like how people are grieving now when they can have so many memories on your phone like and how do you process that and the fact that yeah your life goes around it you're not looking to get over it so I try to put anything useful into it so it's like a very hopefully useful practical and I promise not that bleak that's available now isn't it you are not alone it's out now yes amazing oh one thing on that what's the kind of when they're kids who've lost people what would be say when a grandparent dies and you've got a young child yes like what would your advice be on that I mean advice is a weird word isn't it me and Rob get asked to

advice I love watching Josh try to ask a serious question it gets really panicked yes well I'm interested but I'm also really big yeah my hair go's big also also how big of the shit's your big son does? That's the other way. You don't want to know. That's what I'm easier with. You don't want to know. You honestly don't want to know.

We basically just look at each other when we go, I don't want to talk about it. If I'm like, did he do one? When it comes to talk about death with children, we talk about this a lot on the show and the biggest thing is to try and be honest. Now you don't be brutal, they're dead, but try not to say things like they've gone to a better place, they're asleep, we just won't see them for a long time. Anything that hides it is really confusing and kids will, they'll do two plus, their two, two, two, two, two, to to their, their, to their, their, their, to their, their, to be, to be if you say they're gone to sleep they get afraid of sleeping if you say they've gone away they're looking for them like there's lots of stuff where children then say they take it literally so the best thing to say you know they've died that means we won't be able to see them again and that's

really sad and we're gonna really miss them but we know that they loved us so much and we can still like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th they's they they they they they th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th the the to to to to to try the the their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their love. So you're trying to get them to understand that you won't see someone again because I think honestly pre-10 years old they really can't conceive what forever means. You know if you say well we're going next week, we're going on holiday in two weeks I'm like when, when, so time is really tricky for them so you're just trying to say like we won't see them next week we'll never see them again but we have all the the the the the the they they they they they they they they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have memories of them, but it's important to try and say died or dead and that's what death means and and to acknowledge it's really sad we're all very sad and you may see me being sad and I'm going to cry because I love them too. So to allow like it's okay to be sad about these things but any kind of

hiding it a child would just go oh it's such a terrible thing death that my parent can't even say the word word word the word the word the word the word the word. the word. the word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the word. the word. the word. their their their. their. their. their to. to to to to to to to their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the even say the word. Therefore I must be scared of it because they're showing me it's so terrifying they won't even say the word. Lesson learn it's terrifying. So you're trying to make it look it's not terrifying but sad. That's what we're actually afraid of is the sadness. Not to sort of minimize that but we had a hamster that's why they say have pets. The hamster was really old anyway and we were getting a dog and we thought tell you what my mate wanted a hamster for his door I said why don't you take the cage in the hamster and then you've got that because this poor hamster don't need a dog sniffing at it you know all the Woody died so the other day they went where's Woody I went oh I went well we into

Jack's didn't he and they went yeah and then my head was like and he's still there and I was like no he's not still there he's not still there he's not the house is dead that lives for 50 years and I was like oh he's um and I was like oh god I don't know what that I was they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're th th th th th th the th the the the the the the the the the they're they're they're theythey get old and they only live for a little bit of time and they were like, all right, and then that was sort of run off. And obviously it's just a hamster they haven't seen for ages, but even with that, my brain was like, how can I protect them? But actually you're not protecting them. You've just be honest. And the first time you say it, like the first time, my daughter was like, well, where's your daddy? And I was like, he's dead.

When you say it the first time, your mouth, everything your body's like, don't say, and then because that's what I think is good, the more you practice it. So obviously she knows now and we talk about it. dead and she'll go, oh your dad's dead isn't he? I'm just watching CBPs and I go yes he is just yeah you never see him. Oh my god. Do you want to snag? I would tell you what happened to my husband he was in the playground and some kids are surprised to your dad did you ever have this they're like what are you doing here so this kid was following around was like why are you here? Why isn't the mummy here? Where do kids go out to to to to to to to th? th? th? th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I'm th? I'm the the the the th? I'm just their their their their? I'm just? I'm just? I their? I their? I their? I? I their? I? I? I their? I? I the the the the the the the the the the their? I? I? I? I their? I their? I their? I their? I their? I their? I their? I their? I'm just? I'm just? I'm just? I'm just? I'm just? I'm just? I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just the? I'm just the? I'm just just the the the the are you doing here so if this kid was following around was like why are you here why isn't the mummy here? Where do your kids go to

school in in 73? Yeah I know! He's got on in North London. He always gets it. He said oh well you know you have their moms at work because I'm He was like what okay like also how do all children know that's the playground chant you? When do you all get taught this so yeah you do get brought to a moment but it's true so I always think like you have this moment of like yeah and then actually it's fine yeah it feels like oh that's a bad thing yeah but what a brilliant thing though from th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thooooooo the tho the tho always think like you have this moment of like, yeah, and then actually it's fine. Yeah. It feels like, oh, that's a bad thing. Yeah. But what a brilliant thing though, from what obviously was a traumatic time of you to turn into something that's so positive and that will help people and there'll be another 15 year old out there somewhere, reading your book, going, wow, that's hopefully. Hopefully. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a, that's a, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a brilliant. Hopefully, that's a brilliant. Hopefully. Hopefully, that's a that's a that's a brilliant. Hopefully, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's... that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a brilliant. Yeah, that's a brilliant. their. their their their their their their their their their their their thiiole. tho their thiole. tho thiole. tho riad. Mate, I know there is. That's a weird thing to hope. I'd say a book sale's a book sale.

Look, you know, she needs the help by him. Also, very happy with the release date of January, the saddest month. Yes, well, and then they announced Harry had his book out before. that the book, tho' th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to to too. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to tho. to to tha. too. to too. too. the too. the too. too. too. too. too. too. toooo. tooooooooooooooooooooooo. I too. I too. I the the the my book so much. Also a bit of grief on topic. Totally, absolutely, my God, that kid. Get him on the podcast carrier. Who was it? Richard Herring tweeted was like, oh, who do you think he'll go to me or Buxten? And I was like, excuse me, if anyone, it should be we've got. Yeah. That is who who he needs to talk. Yes, yes, please. Anyway, so to. Yes, to. Yes, to. Yes, to. Yes, to. Yes, to. Yes, to. Yes, th. Yes, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. tod. tod. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today by Bloomsbury? I'm literally reading out. January 19th, it's out. It's out. It's out.

It's out now. Audio book. Did you do the audio book? Yeah. And another quick one for our listeners. Is there an episode you'd recommend that maybe talks a bit more like around children or parents and stuff like that that's a bit at the top of your head. The episodes are free. She thinks they should buy the book. Yeah, no, I would say buy the book, buy the book.

Buy the book, because I just would buy it. Yeah, buy the book. It's all covered in there. It comes up a lot actually. Well, normally what I say to people, to people, like, don't want to listen to it's a bit depressing I'm like start here and you'll see it's just someone being very honest but Romish his dad is what a character I know Romish and his brother had to do after his dad passed away as well it's hilariously yeah yeah awful even in a sad situation yeah but yeah

there's a couple of episodes that actually probably is an episode with a grief psychologist called Julia Samuel, who is an amazing, amazing woman. She's written a book called Griefworks and her episodes with her, she talks about how to talk about it and stuff like that. So yeah, they're probably... Yeah, listen to that one. Rommish don't need a leg up. Yeah, I thought. . little shout out, you can start now. Just supporting up and coming comics. Yeah, it's supporting him, yeah. Oh, we always end with the same question. Oh, yes. It feels like we've only talked

about two topics, death and big children. That's my life. That's literally my life. Death and big kids. Oh my God. But the final question is your husband, your husband, big boy boy, the best and worst thing he does parenting wise. What's one thing th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. the the the the thi. Oh, thi. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, the the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, the thi. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. Oh, the thi. Oh, yeah. What's the best and worst thing he does parenting wise? What's the one thing that winds you up about him as a parent but also what's one thing that makes you go, oh I'm so happy I had children with him. He's amazing. Oh I should think think of the good one second, shouldn't I? so we end on the truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one thing he does is I thinnenene. th. th. th. th. thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thin, I think, I think, I thin, I tho, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, thin, thin, thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, thoooooooo, the, the can play with kids for two hours. Like he will do, I'm a dinosaur, we're all on dinosaur island and we're running from a volcano, he will play that game for like two solid hours. I'll go away and I'll think, normally I get the point, like I can't do this anymore, like my brain, I need a break. He's fully, like, they're on his back, he's dressed as a dinosaur, like they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, like, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. th. th. th. th. th thr. thr. thr. thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr th and he's still absolutely like RAR! God, without play to him. No, yeah, and he's really good for like, if we go around to other people's houses, he's

the adult who's in with the kids with like nine kids and he's like the wizard and chasing them all and everyone's like, God, Yeah, he's just so, he just really, he's like, well, they're having a nice time. So he's like, oh, I didn't want to stop the game. They were all having such nice time. No, I'm not that much. I'm not that much. I've done my 20 minutes.

to a film? Who wants popcorn? Yeah, but I know. Let's play hide and see, but you'll have to hide. I'll come find you. Give me half an hour, I'll find you. But yeah, but then negative is things. Well, it's just boring, isn't it? It's just like, this is bad parenting, but good household. So when we're like playing, I will also tidy up as we go. Yes. That two hours dinosaur play-Dininininininininininininininininin, the the the their their their their their their their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to to up as we go. And he just doesn't. So that two hours dinosaur play, oh the kids are happy and I come in. I'm like, fuck you know, like every cushion's off the sofa and there's pen. And like, could you not have just, as they were, when they started watching telli, they're just, tidy as we go, tidy as we go, which makes me obviously the worst worst worst worst worst worst worst, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, the've discovered. That's your role. Come on, you're the one to go, guys, this is a bad idea. Don't do that. Fair enough. Brilliant. Thanks, Carrie, I had so much. That's great.

Good luck with the book and the podcast. Thank you. Thanks, Carrie, that's brilliant. Carriad Lloyd, Josh Widdicum. Love that. I just looked at the photo of you boxing, Bob. It's fucking incredible. Can't really you haven't seen him before. I'll stick it on my, on the Instagram. Yeah, that, your, uh, no is punching below the belt actually. He's, the thing is, big lad and dirty fucker when it comes to fight him. You can see my dad's ta- ta-o'u-he, he's-heed-heed-heed-heed-heed-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'er. tht-he'er. thttttttttttttttttttttt, I's-he. I's-he. I's-he. I's-he. I's-he. I's-he. I's-he. I's-he. I's-he. I's-heed-in. I-heed-heed-in. I-he's-he's-he's-he's-he's-he's-he's-he's-he's-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he'-he' and clinch and he's holding my head. There's absolutely terrible form there. Yeah your dad your dad's not refing well because he's not even getting involved. No he's just

watching loving it. Lovely sofa as well isn't it? Yeah oh yeah timeless. Timeless. That really transports me back that photo that photo. That was great. I'll be honest with Josh I've met Karid a a a a the the the the the the the the the t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. I've t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah...................... Yeah....................................... t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. good. That was great. I'll be honest with Josh, I've met Karad a couple of times and she does improv shows about Jane Austin and she's got a podcast about grief. I was worried. I panicked. I was like, what's that? What have we signed up for? But she's brilliant, isn't she?

She's so good. She's so good. It's always something for someone that will really help. You know what I mean? So it's nice to have it all. And if you are someone suffering from having a big child, then I... If you have been to see Joshua Dookom in concert and you are suffering with grief after watching a terrible death in front of you. I'm glad you used the word concert. The Joshua come in concert.

That's what my next tour is going to be called. Comes out of sax. Barababah! I don't know, I did the strictly music there by accident. Nice. Right, see you on Tuesday, Josh. See you on Tuesday. Bye.