Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP2: Tales of Terror From Tenerife

Episode Date: January 13, 2023

13.01.2023 More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello you're listening to parents in hell with Alo, say Rob, Roe, Eckett, and Josh, Go. Widacom.

Widicum. Widdicum. Well done! He bottled it. Nah, he bottled it. Ed went on the Widdocom, it felt like, you know, like Son for Tottenham, he scored the other night against the palace, but he just hadn't scored for eight games, he was getting in front of a goal, and he just then kept on passing it.

He just sometimes, that killer instinct goes. But yeah, exactly. I'm sure this kid will get back in the game. But yeah, just didn't go didn't go go didn't go didn't go didn't go didn't go didn't go for th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the their thi. He their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's didn't th. He's didn't th. He's didn't th. He's just didn't th. He's just. He's just didn't th. He's just. He's just. He's th. He's just. He's just didn't th. He's just didn't th. He's just didn't the the the th. He's th. out but great Josh. Well it doesn't really count for anything without the way to come. Hi Robin Josh, long-time listener here. This is my friend and fellow podcast listener Charlotte with a 22 my 22 month old Arlo. Naturally this was. I'm confused. Sorry who's calling in. This is Lisa from Newbury in West Barkshire. Right but this is her friend Charlotte who's looking after her 22-month old Arlo when the recording takes place presumably. Right okay. This is. This is. This is. This is. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. to. to. to. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is.. Is. Is........................................................ the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the f. the f. the f.old Arlo when the recording takes place, presumably. Right, okay, so a friend's, okay, a friend got to, yeah, okay, they both listen, the friend got to do it and it's the mom emailing it in. Naturally, this was four months ago and I now have a two-month-old baby girl as well. It was just taken me a while to get around to send, to send, to get, to get, to send, to send, to get, to send, to get, to send, to send, to send, to send, to get, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to get, their, yeah, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, okay, to, okay, okay, okay, to, to, to, to get, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their.a, their.a, their.a, their.a, their.a, their.a, their.a, their. Okay, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, the O2 in April, Lisa from Newbury and West Barksha. She's going to be going to the O2 with a, well, she'll be leaving a six-month-old.

That'll be one of her first nights out, Rob, won it? I think that'll be one of the things that we do, not to give way too much. We're definitely finding out who's got the Newbury New Comedian of the Year, 2009, won that. Oh, yeah, I've been there. Where this journey began? Yeah, so I'd say, you know, as the Newbury, best new comedian of the year. You know, obviously I've been to Newbury once for the competition, one nighter. Yeah, it's great to represent the area. Yeah, of course.

Of course. Of course. You must have done Newbury on tour, haven't you, Rob? No, ah, not really. You sort of get to Redden and go, and you think, why shall I carry on? Oh, just do the Reading Hex, the old Hex. Redding Hex or Swindon. If you're in Newbury, you've got to make the choice. Yeah. It's the old Newbree choice. big names? Was it a star-studded final? I can't remember. New Brie New comedian award. I haven't won many awards since. No. I haven't won an award in a decade. I toploaded my awards in my career. They were all quite early on. Oh, but 2009, 2010 you couldn't stop me. I was like Leicester City.

And then it all fell apart. I got broken down and sold for parts all around the comedy industry. I don't know who was in my final actually. That was my market employer basically. I basically, I was only the market employer, basically, I basically that. I basically there was only about six of us and I won that as well and that went on my little poster. Oh Rob. Amuse, won that. So you think you're funny the the th. th. th. th. th. th thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thin. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I was th. I was th. I was th there was only about six of us and I won that as well and that went on my little poster. Oh Rob. A musemoose won that. So you think you're funny got fucking stitched up in the final mate. I absolutely deserved to not get placed in the my final. Absolutely destroyed. Now I think I deserve to one actually to be fair. Did you? Yeah yeah yeah you got to think that haven't you? Right, so. Right, so what are we talking about? How are you? Good?

Yeah, we're talking about you, aren't we? We've gone through my Christmas in the park, and we now move on, Rob, to the Beckett post-Christmask extravaganza. Yes, so it's my birthday, second to thr-a'-ohn'e'-a'er-ohue. second of Jane. Oh happy birthday. Thank you for March. How old you now Rob? 37 years of age? Strange age isn't it? It's sort of not old enough to sort of really submit to like being an old man. Yes. And I could probably get away with ripped skinny jeans. Yeah. To a point but not really. Yeah. So I don't really know what to wear at this age. I don't think ripped skinny jeans is your look, Rob. No, no, not at all. I don't even. I don't think. You're not Joel Dommet.

No, but I don't think I should, but he's my age. He could wear it. Yeah, but just because you're the same age as Joel Dommet, I saw Joel it lifting. something yesterday on Instagram. He is so strong. He's living a different life to me in you, Rob. Even if you go Gary Barlow, you're not going to be lifting like Joel. No Joel Dommet is, Joel Dommet, I dropped off once after a gig at 1 a.m. and he went, oh, don't drop me from the house. Drop me off at the Pulse gym. Oh, my god.

I just bought a pepper army and a double cheeseburger. I felt like shit. And you know what? Hard work does pay off because he looks great. He looks great. So Rob, tell me about your life as you moved from 36 to 37. Well, so basically, you're going to laugh this because you always have too many holidays. We went to Tenerife again Oh no, oh come on here he is Judith Chalmers right we went to Tenariff Oh my word it was my mom and dad came as well as their Christmas present. Yeah, so they came to tenure Because you legally allowed in the UK for more than 90 days Robb. That's how you're addressing it. You're right. I do. Yeah, I'm going to address this. You're right. I'm not the anti-politician. I'm on it.

Yeah, you know what? You're right. It's a fair cop. Do you know, I worked so much, it was insane. Like, I was off to Australia, I was in Exeter for a month, it was mental. And then I had blocked off time off with Lou and the Gels. And what we did was go, I was basically working too much, and I thought, well, let's just book a holiday. And then we've got definite time together. So then I'd book the holiday, and then, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, the holiday, I'd book, the holiday, and then, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, the holiday, I'd book, the holiday, I'd book, the holiday, the holiday, their, their, I'd book, their, their, their, their, their, their, I'd book, their, their. I'd blopped, their. I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, I'd book, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. cost money. And then I'd get more working to pay for all the holidays. And then I'd go, fucking no one need a holiday. And then I'd book another holiday. And then I'd go, fuck I need to get a bit more.

I tell you, let's take yes to that. Because I need at work again. And then you miss your holiday. Exactly. And it was a bit of post-Covid like reaction that we hadn't been on holiday for two years, we bookloaded and then because of the council and flights and stuff like that. And then because they messed up, the holiday, because, because, because, the holiday, the holiday, the holiday, the holiday because of the council flights and stuff like that. It's like next year we're going to probably go away in the summer and that would probably be it but now we're not going away at least for another six seven months because I've just

realized what but but my family need more than anything and what I need a to need stability yeah and routine and structure go to the park every morning that kind of th. Maybe not that much. Maybe you need a bit of me and I need a bit of you. Exactly. That's what this whole podcast is about. Because if I went to the park for seven days in a row, I'd have a full breakdown. Okay. Well, I wasn't far off. And I think if you had not as many holidays as me, you'd have one as well. But yeah, it's just too much. So that's our new year, new us. the new. the new. the new. the new. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this this this whole. this whole. It's this whole. It's this whole. It's this whole. It's just this whole. It's just this whole. It's just this whole. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's just just just th. the. thee. theeeeee. I's all all all all all. I's all all. I's all all all. It's all all. So. So. It's just this whole. So. It's just th. So. It's just th. I's just year new arseys just slow down do less less is more but everything was so like well doing this let's do that and we're sort of calming it down a little bit and the holiday was good but there was a couple of problems with the holiday Josh oh no we were all ill I was I was so ill and it wasn't cove it was a te just had this flu thing and I just sort of slept for the first few days. Then towards the end of the holiday my mom got ill. She went down to the pharmacy to get some Lensip ended up in the doctors on a breathing machine. What?

Like a little oxygen one because she couldn't catch a breath. Oh my god. And she's got bad knees, she's on a mobility scooter. It was like, it was like, it was like, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, ended, ended, ended, the, the, ended, ended, the, ended, ended, ended, the, ended, ended, ended, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to. to. to. It's quite intense when they put you on one of them. That, wow. Wait, and then she messaged me going, I'm on a breathing machine and they're doing a COVID test. Oh my God. Yeah, so she wasn't well. My dad obviously burned his nose. Burned his nose on the cattle steam.

When he sniffed the kettles. daughter, a five-year-old, got really ill on New Year's Eve. We had to call out an emergency doctor at 7 o'clock New Year's Eve and she was coughing, she had a really high temperature, she had this rash all over her face, we thought it was strep A, it was awful. I think she's just got that illness everyone's ad. Yeah. And then the kids didn't get their flu jabs at school. So Lou's the only one who didn't get ill. Lou got a flu jab because she's on these immunosuppressant things. She got a flu job. The kids didn't get a flu jab and then the youngest has been really ill with this thing. But then the doctor gave us loads of like antibiotics and stuff like that. But then I got the antibiotics at like 8 o'clock on.m. their. their.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m.m. So. It's. It's. I. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. I. I. I. It's. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. this? Oh, there's a pharmacy opposite the hotel. I run there, and as I'm getting there,

like the shutters are coming down. It's 8 p.m., it shuts at 8 p.m. And I'm like, oh my god. Bambino, antibiotic. Bambinolino, babino. Bambinotico. And I'm doing like the little praising. I'm like, babyo! PURORVOR BAMO, BAMI Antibotico. Like a kind of continental football who's about to be sent off, pleading with the referee.

Yeah, Moxie, and he is dumb in a ruffenio. Calpino. Like begging her like that and a thing. Anyway, so she's like no no no and basically right what? She that didn't win her over? No, so she said no. She dead inside.

She was like Tosca says a name of another pharmacy. Right. I look at it 20 minute walk right. I'll get a cabs. No cabs. New years eve. So now I'm walking for 20 minutes to try and get the ant the ant. the their. to to to the to to get. to the to get. the to get. the the th. th. thoom. thoom. th. thi. thi. thi. to be. toe. toe. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. too. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. too. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. ttae. t. thae. that's. that's. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. together. together. t. together. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. massive cues. So now I'm walking for 20 minutes to try and get the antipolting. I'm still ill, right, at this point, and as I'm walking there, I'm thinking, I've been ill for about 10 days, like awful, just keep passing out with tiadness, not COVID, this flu thing that everyone's had. I think you might be my last visit there. It's a beautiful island.

But some of the people there are fucking disgusting. And are these British people? Yeah, yes, of course. Yeah, I'll just check it. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I fucking... I didn't mind if I just started a tirade on just a race of people. It was full of them.

Who? The Brits. Don't panic. And now I'm walking through on New Year's Eve probably the roughest bit of Tenerife. And tenorief, you've not seen anything like to. It's almost like Gotham City, Tenerife. You can be in the most beautiful bit, the most expensive hotel you've ever seen, and then all of a sudden you're in a corner, there's people around bins with it all on fire trying to rob you.

I saw what you spent your last New Year's Eve Rob. I saw the picture. I was outside Tony Roma again. I had to go past Tony Romer to go to the pharmacy. Anyway, so I'm getting there, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, loads, I'm getting, loads, loads, I'm getting, loads, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm their, I'm their, I'm, I'm, I, I'm their, I, I'm their, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, th... th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. tried, tried, tried, tried, tried, try, th. th. th. th. th. thi, I'm like, hello, right, it's all like. Anyway, it's a 20 minute walk, then I walked 20 minutes back. And as I'm walking, I'm thinking, why didn't I go to a doctor and get some antibiotics? I've just been ill. Yeah.

I just forgot that I could go to a doctor. Anyway, that's you know, me overworking myself as well, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, and I'm, I'm walking, and I'm, I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, I, I, I, I, and, I, I, and, I, and, I, and, I, and, and, and, and, and, I, and, I, and, I, and, and, I, I'm........ the. the. the. th. th. th. th. then, I'm, I'm, th. then, th. th. then, th. then, I'm, I'm, th. then, I'm, I'm the. the. the. back give them the antibiotics and so she's feeling a bit better but she was so ill and then she couldn't go swimming yeah obviously she got an ear basically she had eardrops she had anti histamines for the rash she had the oxymoline thing in case it was strep a bless her so she like and then she was just sort of refusing to have all the medicine and stuff and then her older sister was getting to go and to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I th is is th is th is th is the they. th. th. th. th. to go. to go. to go. to go. I I I was their. I was their. I I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I I I I I I I was. th. th. th. I was. I was. the the th. I was. I was. the the the th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. today. today. today is. try. ttoday. ttry. the the the the the the the the things. She couldn't do. And this hotel, right, the GF Victoria, I'm going to name it, because I won't go back, there's slides, right, that are fine for kids by high. And also there's a climbing tree thing, like a small version of a go ape, right? Yeah, but really small. And you're not allowed to go on the thing it's got a net round it it's really easy. What is one meter 20 is that? My seven-year-old is still a bit under one, sort of eight-year-old basically or if you've got a tall seven-year-old might get on it but they let her go on it because she was borderline. Yeah so this is his tree

house thing like go eight thing and you if you want to go the high-butt the tree so so so so young so young so young so young so young so young so young so young so young so young so you're the the the the the the the the th so you're the th some I I I I I I I's is th some is th some is th some is th some is th some is th somea th is thi I's th is th is th is to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the th me one meter 20. So the youngest who's been ill can't go in the pool, isn't allowed on the top bit. She can easily do it. Yeah, I've took a rock climbing. Yeah, of course on her yesterday. She's not allowed on it and there's no bending the rules. There's like no, and! Once a day they're allowed on it. And then basically as the week goes on, because obviously it was a bit more expensive to stay there over Christmas and New Year because it's sort of peak time. And the later we

stayed there, like there were some rough people in the hotel. I mean most people in the hotel. Most people in the hotel were the fight around the pool. the the the the the the the the the the the the hotel. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the the the the the the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. Most the the hotel were lovely. Most the hotel were lovely. the hotel were lovely. the hotel were lovely. the hotel were lovely. the hotel were lovely. the hotel were lovely. the hotel were lovely. We were lovely. They were lovely. They were lovely. We were lovely. They were lovely. They were lovely. We were lovely. They were lovely. I were lovely.turned up. There was a fight around the pool, Josh. There was a fight around the pool? There was a fight. There was a fight around the pool. Oh my God. It was a fight. It was a fight. And I think it was two brothers, right?

And I think they must have been about 17, 18. But they had a fight, proper, like, like, stand up. the, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, there, the, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. there was, was, was, was, was a fight, was, was a fight, was, was a. each other in the face. At one point one fell over and the other one picked up a table and smashed it across his back. And then the sunbegg got pushing the pool and all the kids are like running out the pool. And I can hear it from the balcony, it's all kicking off. And then like, they're all shouting each other. And then after the fight, they sit down, shook hands and started sunbub. Amazing! Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer.

Your game time tastes like Miller Time. Learn more at Miller Light.CA. Must be Legal Drinking Age. And what did your kids do during that? They were on the balcony. I mean, and it was sort of like, oh, isn't that sort of funny? But it would have been really terrified if you were near it for the kids. And dangerous because like a sunbed flew into the water.

How, fucking out Rob! When I went for a walk to get to the pharmacy through like the rougher bit, I saw a four-year-old boy in Fendi sunglasses, a Fendi polo shirt, Fendi Sheltz, Fendi Sandoles, Fendi Sandi Sandi Sandie Sandie Sand Sand Sand Sand Sand Sand Sand Sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand and a sand and a sand and sand and sand sand and sand and sand and sand sand and sand and sand and sand sand sand sand sand sand sand and sand and sand and sand and sand s sand and sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand sand and Fendi polo shirt, Fendi Shorts, Fendi Sandals and a Rolex with slick back air. I was terrified of him. Yeah, I bet he could sort you out some under the counter medicine, Rob. I don't know. But yeah, I'm not a snob. I used to go Benadorm on holiday and stuff like that.

I've been all to different places, but there was just an air of just carnage. Wow. The hotel was lovely thoose thoose thoes thoes thoes thoes thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho-a tho-I tho-I thi thi thirty thirty thirty thirty thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was just th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was thi. I was just thi. I was just the. I was just thea. I was just thea. I was just thea. I was just thea. I was just thea. I was just thea. I was just thea. I was just thea thea. I was just an air of just carnage. Wow. The hotel was lovely though. Most of the people in the hotel, the rougher people were out further down the strip, and it was only this one sort of incident in the hotel with the fight around the pool. Yeah, it's sort of enough to sort of put you off it a little bit. And what did you do for your new year? Well New year was a trip was a the bit of a buffet dinner, and I went to bed. Oh Rob.

And then Lou stayed out because some of our friends had booked the hotel coincidentally, so Lou stayed out with them and had night out. And I was in bed by nine. I was watching Eckartooned videos about mindfulness. I quite enjoyed it actually. Yeah, quite nice. But then my daughter the next few days was just so ill. Oh th to to thobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobob. And to to to to to me to me to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. the the the th. to me. to me. the the their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. L. too. too. L. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the too. to.then my daughter the next few days was just so ill. Oh Rob. And she didn't want to do a medicine and she came from screaming and crying and then...

Oh, there's nothing work. But like when your child doesn't want to take the medicine, it's so difficult to be like... I know. The nan and granddad came my mom and dad of time around the pool landing the beach and my mom and dad would take them up. Yeah I have a little fight by the pool. Yeah just quick straightener. And then my mom and dad were taking but then she didn't want to be left yeah and then we and Lou were gonna go out for my birthday meal in the second and then she just refused to be left and their mom and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the pool. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the parrot toy and it was just it was a bit hard work and it was just when a kid can't go swimming on a holiday and they're on a kid unwell anywhere and it just made me realize a bit as well I think there's a

reason for this is isn't like bad luck this is a family this is a family and Lou has had to sacrifice so much yeah for how busy I've been and I'm sacrificing a lot the thii thii th I th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to be I to be I'm to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. their the Beckett house is totally fucked at a moment. But I think that's I think once you identify that that's the thing isn't it? Yeah and I think also you really swung one way just at the start of lockdown yeah and then you swung the other way where there's like no bit where you're not either really extreme relaxo on holiday or extreme work. Nothing. Yes, yeah, it's all or nothing. You're like someone who works on a rig. Well, yeah. Yeah, and obviously I'm saying this from a very fortunate position

where I earn decent money and everyone's happy and everyone's happy and healthy most of the time, you know, everyone gets coughs and cold. Except on New Year's Eve. Yeah, but I'm fucking burnt nose. She's on a th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th, thi, thi, th. thi, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. thi. thei. theaa. thea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er's thi. thi. thi. Yeah, but I've not fucking burnt nose, she's on a breathing machine and we're all ill. Everyone's happy, but none of them are healthy. No, no, we're fucked. We're all fun. It was a great holiday. It was lovely spending time with the kids my mom and dad and stuff, but like the last couple of days were difficult because they've one got really ill. But it's not like, there's a reason there's a there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's there's there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. There's a reason there's a reason there's bit like that it's just about managing it more and I can work a little bit less and have less holidays and it's basically that living day initially book yeah

where just have less stuff and then you won't have to work as much and won't have to put much pressure on yourself and I'll and it's the curse of freelance as well like yeah you feel like if you ever turn down work, that you're losing that money, but you shouldn't feel like you're losing that money because you'd never had it in the first place, yes, if that makes sense. Exactly, and I think,

because some of the stuff I get to do is fun. Yeah, like, you know, my job is fun. It's I feel guilty that when I get back I'm like right I've got to make sure Lou and the girls are having fun but actually if we were just all in the house and just woke up slowly on a Saturday I went oh should we go down Wittsibble for the day and but I'm basically structuring my free time and my family time the same way as I'm booking in a tour where it's like where it's like a press tour where it's like you know it's like basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically basically my kids are dragged around like they're doing promo for something like okay we're gonna be in tellary then we're gonna do a boat trip then we're gonna actually less is more and then you get better quality time when you're a bit bored and you're floating around together and stuff like that and I think it's a bit realization when we're away and sort of how tired and stuff we're away and it's good to acknowledge it. It's a good. But it's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good. It's good good. It's good good to a good good good good good good. It's good good good. It's good good good good. It's good good good good good. It's good good good. It's good good good. It's good good. It's good. It's good good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good to. It's good time but I was like this is very intense and it's very tiring but we just need a bit of stability and calm and less is more where sometimes you sort of are told got to do this

got to do that and you know I'm very susceptible to marketing you know you watch I'm a celebrity and all of a sudden they'll be an advert go and get away on holidays go yeah let's book the about a the the the the the the the the the they. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I's is is. I's is. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. the. the. the. thee. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. the. amount of book it, that I've got to stop booking holidays and shopping pissed. That's got to be my first protocol. Well, the other thing, Rob, is, it's too easy to go the other way, and before you know, you spent seven days in the park. So, you know, that's good. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, is it? I don't know. Does she enjoy it? Well, Rose was mainly in charge of

her by that point because I'd had a few drinks. Sure, okay. Yeah, but she and her friends, her friend, have friends. Do you have a best friend? What do I have a best friend? The way you're talking about it, like best friend's a thing. It is a thing, yeah. It's not a thing. No one's got a best friend is, Rob? My wife. Do you know who my best friend is? Me?

the best friend is me. You've got to be a best friend to yourself before anyone else. Yeah, all right, yeah, that's good, that's good. Because actually I see myself as an enemy. Obviously your wife is like almost more than a best friend, like a soul mate. It's a different level, but I don't believe in the best friend thing. I think it's quite toxic. You're my best. Yeah, you are right.

You are right. Yeah, I. I. I school I have a league table of her friends and I say is this still remains the same do you want to move anyone up or down every day. Because if not if they're not putting the shift in they should be invited to your next party. Exactly, exactly. Let's eliminate them one by one like a reality TV show. Yeah you don't need, her friend had just come back from a family Christmas visiting relatives in Colorado in America. So a friend was on US time. Oh, that's a cool friend.

She should be the best friend. She's American. She's cool. Yeah. Well, she's not American, but she's got relatives in America. In that school, she's an American time. Obviously, she was on American American the American, she was on American, she was on American, she was on American, she was on American, she was on American, she was on American, their their their their their their thaa American, she was on American, she was on American, she was on American, she was on American, she was on American, she's their thaqqqaen American, she's thiaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqa' thoomomomoma, she's thoomomomome. thoomomomom. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. She's thi. She's a toea. She's toea. She's toea. She's toea. She's toea. She's toea. toea. toea. toea. She's thea. She's thea. She's American. In that school, she's the American guy, basically now. Obviously, she was on American time, so she absolutely walked it getting to 12. But my daughter by that point was going, absolutely insane. And when my wife put her to bed, my daughter was apparently genuinely talking gibberish. And then, didn't sleep in as late as I'd hoped.

She only slept in till 8.30. I was thinking 11. No. Come on. They just can't do it. No, they don't do it. They will when they're teenagers though. That's got to be mental, isn't it? Yeah.

Because if you look at like how much you get done by, it's like, it's 20 to 12. I've been up early and well Lou dropped the kids off at school, the other ones off the goal still, she's not well. But that's panicky if your kids actually unwell the first day of school in January, everyone just assumed you've gone away in school time. So luckily we dragged the other one in. Yeah, to prove that we've not been naughty. Yeah, so we'll have done that. I'll have done that. the the th done their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their their their thoes. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. their their their their the be the second episode of this show, and imagine if your child's still in bed asleep. Oh my word. You will start to hate them, won't you? Yeah, of course, you'll be very jealous. And then they'll get up and they'll complain about something. Get up, you lazy fuck.

Bucket of water on the red. Oh, I mean, you can and it's mental. Yeah, I just don't think I, I don't think I'd do that. I don't think, if my child is asleep during the summer holidays, well at the moment, Rob, I suppose the idea of your child being asleep till 11 a.m. seems so insanely good. I'm sure it will go the other way, but at the moment I can't imagine being annoyed by that. Maybe it's because we're a self-Imaaaamamamozymemememememememememememememememea the moment the moment the moment the the thozyn't thozyn't thozyn't thozymea. thii. thi. thoomath. tho-I's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the thooooooooo thooo thooooo to thooooo that's that's that's that's that's because we have a little bit more control over when we get up and go work really because we're self-employed. It might be different if you're on like early shifts. It's quite, you get quite resentable. There's going to come a point when we have to start setting up alarms again. Like, oh, I might get a new one for the occasion. I might get one one's that's really jealous of? Because I never had it before kid. An alarm clock? the, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, you, you, th. It, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, you, the, you, you, the, you, their. It's, you, their. It's, th. It's, th. It's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. It's like, like, like, th. It's like, the, you're, you're, you're, the one that wakes you up with light gradually. Oh, like a grow clock? No, but you know that ones that like they're for adults, but they're like it fills your room with daylight kind of like. Right, yeah, nice. But gradually from like 7 a.m.

it'll start and then it gets to like 8 o'clock and it's bright light but you're like, oh I've woken up like it's dawn. Yeah, does that do they work? What about a tea's made? What's a tea's made? Do you remember a tea's made? This was a thing, I don't remember anyone who actually had one, that would make a cup of tea on the timer, so that when you woke up, the tea was there. I've got a coffee machine one of them. Have you? But I've never been able to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use any to use to use any to use any to use any to use any to use any to use any to use any one or any one or any one or any one or any one or any one or any one or to use. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their their one or any one or their one or their one or their one or their one or their one. I their one. I their. I their. I their one. I their. I'm their. I'm their one. I'm their their their their their their their their their th. I the. I for like 7 a.m. and they're like I'll come down says at 6 with the kids and then go up for a show about half 7 and go why's there a cold cup of coffee on the side? Oh my alarm. It's really cool.

Blue got it for me for my birthday present one. It's quite swanky. I think you'd love it is proper wanker. Oh thanks, Mary. What's that? Thanks? I didn't call your wanker. I think you'd love it, it's proper wanker. It's close. All right, yes. But you don't drink coffee, do you? their try.

to have a coffee. . Oh, the it and it's like it sits by and then you just put a little bit of water in there and it makes a coffee. Looks like you doing a science experiment. Yeah, I might sort of fire that back up actually the new me, the new stable me with a bit of time. New you, let's do it. So any other things from the new year's Eve was to say there was about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about 13 adults. Yeah, in your house. You love a host man. Do you not get tired of hosting by the end of the festive period? Rose does more than I do. Right, okay. Rose was not in a good mood on New Year's Day. Rose, oh I am gonna tell this story

actually. Rose on New Year's Eve she went to her friend's 40th. Okay. This is so out of character for Rose Rob. Well she come back sober. Oh no she didn't Rob she didn't. I'm a bit scared of Rose actually. Are you? Well this I think I'd be scared if I upset her like like that's why sometimes after a cold girl Rose don't mind it said that. Yeah I'm quite scared of yeah. No don't worry about it. Well you could say what you want about to say what you want? She ever just sacked her and just scethe at you and she and she and she and she she she and she she she and she she and she she she and she she and she she she she she and she she she and she she she she she she she and she she she she she she and she she she she she she she she she she she she s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s that that that that that that that that that th. thed thed that thed that thed. I thed. I thed. I thed. I thed. I thed. I thoed. I thoed. I thoed. I thoes What was it like? Water for ducks back by this point. But- I never at the start you just take it like a little naughty school boy. Well, as you know, I hate conflict. Yeah. So I just crumbled like a house of cards.

Yeah. So, the night before New Year's Eve, Rose went out on the last, mate's 40th. The 30th, yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. theded. th. the th. thed. thed. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toeeauereeaugheaughea. toea. toea. t t toea.a.a. toea.a.a. toea.. toea. toea. I. I. I. I.....m. Okay. I texted her at 1015. Because I, Rose's cousin was staying, so we stayed up and watched the football and we got quite pissed together. Oh, that's fun. That was nice. Yeah. And then text to Rose at 10.15. She didn't reply. I thought she's definitely put her car back. There's no doubt that she's put a car back. Yeah. Eleven o'clock she texts me to say to say to say to say their. to say to say their. to say their. to say their. to say their. to say their. to say their. their. to say their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tox. their. th. tox. t. te. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te., yeah. And then she turns up straight into the kitchen to wash her coat. In the car, Rob, she had been sick. Rather than making a scene in the car and make him pull over, she had a big coat on, she

was just sick down the sleeve. So she just opened up her sleeve. And then that was it. And she just came in and she had sick down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down, the the to sit the to sit, the the to, the to, the to, the to, the to, the the to, the their, their, their, their, to, to. to, their, toe, their, to. their, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to. to, to. to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. So, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, to. So, to. So, to. So, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the. the t the the tooea, she's, the the the the the tooomorrow. tooomorrow. tooomorrow, tooomorrow, she's, toe., and she just came in and she had sick down her sleeve. Last 15 minutes of the car journey, she just sat there, having been sick down her sleeve. And then New Year's Eve, she was not in the mood for a party. No, no. She was not in the mood to host. And so it took her a while to get into the second day at Glastonbury. That kind of feel. You can't pressure those people, you just let them just have a little drink in their own pace and

get back into it. I thought you stopped drinking you you had. I drunk again from the wedding I went to to New Year Eve and now I'm back on the wagon. Oh okay fair enough. So the party was fine, the kids loved it. Did I have it tell you when I was sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick the the the the the to to the to to to the the to the to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their cab and got out and then was sick on the door. Yeah. And then I knocked and then Lou let me in and then I had to pour a boiling kettle over the front door and on the front of the house. And I've to tell you the time I got out of a cab because I was going to be sick. No. It was really busy traffic and I thought I'm just going to walk the the the the the the the the the the to be to to to to to to be to be to be the to be to be to be the to be the the to be sick. the to be sick. the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tha. tha. tha. tho. tha' thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooothought I'm just going to walk the last 20 minutes because I feel so rough. Got out, started walking ahead and then found a skip and I was sick in the skip because I was really gone well. Yeah yeah you shouldn't use someone else's skip but fair enough. And then the traffic crawled along. Oh no. San cab driver saw me being sick. Oh God! You're you're alright I I went yeah yeah, as soon as I finish I'm th th th fine. I always do this when I've had a great night.

Oh God. Well at least he enjoyed herself. I bet she was a bit more slow going than the rest of the guys. Yeah. New Year's Eve was a lot of fun. So Ivo Graham came around with his daughter. Yeah. On the day, two Amazon pass was arrive in my house addressed to Ivo Graham. Because he knew he was going to be there so he just got it delivered to your house.

Yeah. That's good planning. Is that acceptable? Is that not? Try and guess what Ivo then did at the party from what was in the parcels? I'd assume they may have been like something that you needed at your house. So maybe like a gift for you and rose or something for his daughter that he didn't have like a pair of shoes or socks or some clothing. Yeah so that that would be nice so it was a a black bob wig yeah and 12 chalk boards with chalk okay is he gonna run a game yes what was the game? Black Bob is it weakest link? It was the traitors oh because he was doing Claudia Winkerman with a black week he was being Claudia Winkerman in the traitors. Sure. He ran a game of the traitors that I would say doesn't have the same tension when there's not

100,000 pounds at stake. And so did it work or not work? Well I worry I think that it needs fine-tuning as a party game. I think the problem with that's is is is is is is is is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thrater the game the game with the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the problem with the problem with the game the game the game the game the game the game the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the problem the the the the the game. I's the game. I's the game. I's the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game the game thi. I's thi. I's only only only only only only. I's only. I's only really enjoyable for Ivo because he knows who's who. Yeah, basically what happened was it's very difficult to spot the traitors because there's not enough happening during the day. So you're just going back in and you're all just having a chat and then you just blindly accuse someone and it's not them. And there's literally no evidence to go on. But do write in if you've tried to play the traitors and it worked worked well or badly. Or don't write in. Worst party games you ever played. That would be another one. Just write in. Just keep writing him. Or really good ones. Or have you ever had anything delivered to somebody else's house?

Do you want some more tales from Tenerife? Yeah, Michael put a kind of a Spanish guitar underneath this? No, please don't because I'm going to talk about drunk Jordia at Burger King. A couple of things which was stressful was obviously my youngest, because she had needed eardrops, wasn't allowed to go swimming and wasn't really well enough. So he used to go, there was like a kid's club. The kids' club was a bit strange. I've been to better kids clubs at different hotels. They didn't want to go in the kids. It wasn't that welcoming so I was like fine but there was a big area that had like pedal cars and a climbing frame in a coloring station. And I was like, oh I'll just take her there then during the day,

to get out the sun and that we were allowed in there like supervising them. But then like when the kids club shut for a hour for lunch. We had th. We had to to to th. We had th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thed. thed. thed. thed. thed. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, like, I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like smaller than like a play area they have in like a shopping center without anyone watching. I'm like, I understand if like no, I'm accompanied kids, but I'm like, I'm in here with my kids can't I just, there's nothing to steal or take it's like massive equipment and it's in the middle of a hotel. So I had to get out. And I saw them taking, they on one of the days, they takes to their kids their kids their kids their kids their kids their kids their kids their kids their kids their kids their kids their kids to to their kids to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to take to take to take to take to take their kids their to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take their. their. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm their. I'm in. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their. I'm in their had big like high-vis tabards on and then like this rope with wrist straps on their hands and they were marched through like prisoners going to do hard labor. Oh my word! That's horrible! Oh my God! And then they're going do you want to come to the kids club kids to my kids like no. Fuck off! No I don't! When they take the kids out at my nursery, my son's nursery, they've got like a, basically, I passed them in the street when I was going to pick him up, they've basically got a massive kind of, what would you describe it, it's like a trailer?

Yeah, I've seen them. That looks fun. And it's just full of little kids, it's amazing. I don't they need a tabard their their their their tapapapapapapapapapapard their their their to to to to be to be to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a tapard and to be a tapard and to be a to be a to, they were chained together with one kid running to the road, they've all gone. Yeah, of course. I think it's more dangerous. It's fucking mental. Other things that happened, so it's difficult the older kid, so it's difficult the older kid,to like tell your older kid to rein it in on how much

fun she was having when she was going out and stuff? Do you know what I mean? Well, so a prime example, I took the eldest swim in and then the youngest went on the tree climbing thing but the tree climbing thing but was really upset of an big as the one you have in your local park that's just there. But no, you've got to have a helmet on and the 1.2 meter rule, okay? So anyway, they're told, and they're near enough the same height, she's so tall my youngest, she wasn't allowed to go on it. My eldest got on it, the oldest got on the to'n'n, was, was, was, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, to, and, and, the, the, and, the, and, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, their, and, their, and, their, their, and, and their, and their, and their, and their, and too, and, and too, and, and, and, and, some, and, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, andthis big treehouse thing. The only thing that she could do that wasn't in water and was allowed to go on the top level and go into the zip line. And quite rightly she's annoyed because they're not far off height.

And they know they always do the same things together because she can just do it all. We've been go ape and stuff and stuff like. and she was refusing and then she had to have eardrops in both ears she used to have some neurofen on a syringe, one squirt of that, she needed two squirts of the antibiotics and then another one squirt of this antihistamine for a rash. The poor thing was getting absolutely pumped full of stuff, left right and sent her every morning and every night and she moaned every morning. Me and Lou had to take Paracetamole on the day the day the morning just because our headaches were so bad because of the screaming. And on the way out, because my mom and dad came like that, and you know, they were really helpful with the kids at the start of the week, but by the end of the week, they were ill and my kids didn't even want to be with them because they were being all clingy. And then on the way out out, my out out, my out, my out, my out, my out, my out, my out, my out, my out, my out, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, their, their, the, thi, the, their, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, to. And, to. And, and, and, to. And, and, and, and, and to. And, toe, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, the toe. And, the the toe. And, the the row. So then on the way back the youngest was supposed to sit with the

nanongrandad and then the eldest was sit with us but obviously she's ill wants to sit of her mom which is understandable and she's hot and we want to make sure she's sleeping all right and blah blah blah so she's crying and then you said I could sleep that and I'm trying to to to to to the to to to the the the the to the the to to the the to to to the the the the to to to to to to the the to to the the to the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to the the the oldest the the the the to to sit the the the the to sit the the the the the the the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the oldest the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the oldest one one one one one one one one one one one one one. I was. the oldest one. the oldest is. the oldest is. the oldest one. the oldest one. the oldest one. that and I'm trying to explain yeah but she's not and then we negotiated that it was gonna be like Lou could sit with both of them in the middle and they're over there and I so now I'm sat next to my dad and my mom on an easy jet they're not a big seat are they and I'm cramped in like that right so they're arguing over wanted to get home by the end of it. Oh Rob. Well welcome home. It was it was. The weather in Teneraives is unbelievable to be fair. And if you get the right at hotel, it's great. But it's a bit of a lottery. Certain parts of

Tenereef are like hell. Yeah. Like the certain ruffer bits are hell. I'd say Burger King Tenerife is where people, if they get thrown out of hell because they're too awful, they get put in the queue there. And also there's normal people there as well. So not everyone's on that, but there's dotted around. I was waiting for Burger King, which is not a great point in your life. You still feel a bit I'm waiting there, it's a 20 minute wait, and I've just stood there. And there was a jeweledie-block of the queue that was a little fella, bright red-fate, bit pissed still, I think. He shouted at me, ear Rob Beckett, what you're doing here. So loud that if I'd said that to Lou, everyone in the airport would have turned around, and I think a bigger man would have come over and said to me, you, you, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, the to me, the to me, the to, their, their, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I'm, and I, and I, and I, and I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, th........ And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thean, thin, thean, thin, thean, the. thin, the, the, the. to me, you can't talk to women like that. It was so loud, it stopped the workers in Burger King.

Like when someone walks into a bar in a Western and it all just stops. It's Rob, man! Pardon? What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm just getting some Burger King, mate? Oh, right man! I think it went a bit quiet for a bit, and then everyone sort of settled down because it was like, it wasn't like, oh, there's a bloke off the tele over there, it was like, who's the man shouting? What's happening now?

And then anyway, it went, and then, then someone came I went, oh, can't, I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, there, oh, oh, there, oh, there, oh, there, there, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, bet you're gonna get more of them in you man! And I just was like, I went, pardon? Well, yeah, you're gonna get more of them, man! And I'm, yeah, maybe, if you don't get served soon, I certainly will. And then obviously it waited on a bit longer. And then he screened again, he went, oh, I bet you can make a routine out of this man! Oh my God. But like it was so... I think the Jauldi accent is the loudest accent done in the right way. I don't think there's a louder accent than the Jauldy,

is there? No. It was mental and I just stood there just like, that is incredible. Fuck this. Fuck this. Do you want a couple other things that happened to me over the Christmas New Year break? Got a prank phone call? No. What is it? What is it?

It was a pre-programmed one. I don't know if you've heard these before. What? But it was rubber. It didn't even work. It's one someone paid for us. What you do is you ring a number, and then you listen to someone else's the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the get a pre-recorded one that you listen to the reaction of someone on, and then you can film it.

And so I thought, you know, so my number, I've had the same number years, so loads of people have got it. I'll get a lot of the night, so I want to ring me and they're just drunk because they've got the number of number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the number the early days. Anyway, it rings. He went, hello there. There's a note on my car that said that you've reversed into my car. This is a pre-recorded message. Yeah, and that you've reversed into my car and you've given this number. So yes, I've got a very expensive car and my insurance company will need all your details. And I went, oh, hello, all right, no worries. I went, I've not been out today. I've not to. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I me. I haven't hit any cars. Where were your numbers on here? And I went, well, okay, I went, the number must be wrong. Wait, oh, you're, you're, so you're denying that you've hit my car? Can I just ask a question?

So are these recorded things? How does it know what you're saying? Well, it doesn't? It leaves a bit of a beat. I haven't hit a car today. Yeah, so it's time for that. Yeah, but you lying to me because I got very expensive cut. I went, mate, if I did your car, right, and I didn't want to pay for it, I wouldn't leave my number, I just wouldn't leave a note. If I didn't leave a number, I didn't leave it at this point. So I haven't done it. going, no, I've got a very expensive cut. I went all right. I went, what car- Did you believe it at this point? No, I went, I was like he sounded a bit odd. I went, what registration numbers on the on the note? And then basically the timing went

off so he was talking when I was talking and then I was waiting in the gap that was oh, and it sort of went, oh, you've just been pranked by prank and I was like what a waste of money I get it it's such a shit one because I I know I haven't what what you need to say is go like oh I've been giving your number I've hit your car or yeah I've written off your car would be a fun I was like it's boxing day I've not left the house in two days and who's ringing me a boxing day about a probably maybe someone has watched someone's watched come out that day on Skyrob. Oh yeah, he loves a prank, this guy.

And they're like, do you know what, this guy likes a laugh? I'll send him a prank call. It'll enjoy this. This is quite fun as well. I got an email. You've got to do one of them like Instagram things where it's like update and it's just me and my body and I show it being bored. I really want you to do it. Please do it. Do you know what I'd rather just pay for it and do it in private. Thank you very much. Yeah, I think that's the thing, isn't it? But he bent over my ass in the ear going, look, you can really see the difference. My bored of a bumhole.

Josh, I want to you if you want to do this, because that's sort of all that's sort of happened on holiday in my, that's all my my my my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new, my new thable, my new, my thable, my thable, my thin. My thin, my thin, my thin, my thin, my thin, my th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My th. My that, my that, my that, my thin, thin, that'stalk to you about this, maybe for the new year. Some parenting predictions. Oh, that's good. I probably should have mentioned this before the recall because we're on the spot now. But anything you think you might end up doing or things that might happen in your life as a parent. So we'll put them in a kind of time capsule. And then we can go back to them. Why don't you ask me three questions and then we'll play them back this time next year that's good. Okay. What do you think's gonna be your biggest challenge with your youngest in the next year as it becomes more mobile? I think...

Oh no I've got a good one! Have you got to do your potty training? What is that this year? I don't remember any of the things? I think I know what my biggest What is that this year? I don't remember any of the things. I believe the door. Maybe this is a bad idea. I think I know what my biggest challenge is going to be. What? I think that a second visit from the dummy fairy. It was horrific with my daughter. Right for the, yeah. Yeah, so that's going to be to my, I don't know if, I'll try and

think of some questions but. Oh yeah. My predictions for me, okay. the thinks I'm concerned that the competitiveness between my two daughters is going to become more competitive. They're already like started trying to do a bit of tennis and then one was crying because one can hit it back and the other. I think what has been a, they play really well together. I think I'm worried now that, and I'm being a bit smug about that and that, and thii. I'm, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I'm, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, like, like, like, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. And, I. And, I'm, I'm, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th.'m worried that they're going to get to that age when they're like five and seven where they may start to clash a bit over sport. Yeah because your daughters are best friends basically aren't they? I hate to go back to that best friends thing. They will happily sit and

play. They're super close. Yes. Whereas You know, they're not gonna hang out. They might do when he's a bit older, but also, there's other people I've seen with kids the same age gap as my kids and they still don't really play or get odd. We've been very lucky. So, yeah, so I'm thinking this year, I think when going to have to deal with is a mobile phone for my daughter. She's really ramping up one in it. She's only seven, but like our friend's kid got a little

iPod touch thing, which is everything but a phone. When she was like eight for her eight's birthday and I think that's something that's going to ramp up the want for the phone. That's a good one. And I think someone in our school group might break. And then when that happens. Has it come up on the WhatsApp group? No, it hasn't yet. I think they think it'll be me that breaks first. I'd say on that school group, I'm the one that will... I'm their worry.

Oh, that's good to be the worry, I suppose. The biggest worry about, their tho' th. my concern because it's me. Here's a prediction I'm worried about. My daughter starts after school karate next Thursday. Okay. And I think she's going to get bored of it within a week. No reflection on the karate, but more reflection on, you know when your child is going to be because her friends do something. Yeah, yeah, and you're like... That's not your bag kind of thing. Is this going to be her bag? I hope I'm wrong, but I reckon I'm gonna be dealing with her not wanting to go to karate three weeks in. And I really want her to do karate

because I think it's a fun thing to do. And I'm excited she wants to go to a karate class, you'd go. You'd go. I'd love to. I. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to. to. I'd to. to. to. to. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to go. I'd to go. I'd to go. I'd to go. I'd to. I'd to. I'd to go. to go. to go. to go. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to to tho. to to to to to to to to to to to tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stress you'd be. Imagine if you've got to go to a karate class with strangers this afternoon, Josh. Yeah, I'd hate it. I'd absolutely hate it. I've not learned to kick before, have you? Well, my daughter's going to Taekwondo and I'm worried because she's said to me a holiday.

I can't wait to start Taekondo because because because because because because to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho. face. So my predictions are dummy and karate and my other worry is my daughter is in a at school she's in a close three friendship. Yeah and it's been really solid so far in the first term but I worry that three is a very, it's a spicy number isn't it? It can really kick off and one can get thrown out. I think you're quite, you're way more aware and involved in your daughter's friendship groups than I am with mine. Then she is.

Well yeah, I think you just need to stop thinking about it. And they'll argue, they'll break up, they'll be friends, that is something you really, did you not have many close friends at school? Rob, I was the most popular kid in school, come on. Well I went to a small school, so I think that's why maybe... That is quite important there because there's not many options. Well maybe that's why I like to entertain people at our house as well. I like busyness, I like busyness, I like bus. or like friendship, you know, that's the things I crave. Do you feel we should get a psychologist on one day or that could break us? Yeah, that's, yeah.

They put our behavior under the microscope. Yeah. Like they'll start telling me that I keep booking holidays because I'm running from something and then I start crying and then we have to have a three month break while I'll address everything. And I come back divorced, d' d divorced, divorced, divorced, divorced, divorced, divorced, d divorced, d divorced, d divorced, d' the the troes troes, I's true, I've true, I've the true, I've's fucking boring. He can't afford any holidays anymore. He found the true of you and you're not getting any work. I've had the true man, he's not funny. Shit. Right, oh, small business shoutouts.

I've got a good one that they've not even asked for, but I'm going to give it to go. So yeah, basically it was a company called options, supported holidays. thaaaaauolids. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. tr. I. I. true. I. true. true. I. true. I's. I's. true. I'm. I's. I'm true. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. I. I's. I's. the. the. the. the. the. the t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. I've. I've. I'm. to give it to him. So yeah, basically it was a company called Options Holidays. Here are Options Supported Holidays. We've been running Supported Holidays for adults with learning disabilities for over 30 holidays for adults with learning disabilities for over Christmas. They were saying that some of them might have spent Christmas on their own. And the support workers on the plane were amazing. They had a group of 16 and they were on it properly with them. They all looked happy and really well looked after. And it was just really nice to see, like lovely people looking after people. And I didn't even know that was a thing.

Yeah, that's brilliant. They run these things. And the women on the trip were brilliant and so patient. What was the name that again of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of that again of that again of that that that that they go all around the UK and I think Europe as well for people with learning disabilities. So yeah, if you have learning disabilities or you know something that does that might want a holiday, it seemed like a really well run, well-awed machine and they were lovely the people on that flight. But yeah, options holidays.

Have a look. Well, Rob, you say there's no after school clubs for parents. Josh, we've just begun our own small business running pop-up pottery workshops around Bristol. For parents who need a bit of a break from kitties and some creative outlet. We do hand-building pottery workshops in various pubs. FreePint included at some places and plant shops, etc. More info on our Insta at Pottymouth, good name, dot workshop. And tickets sold on WWWWP dot that must be dot com or dot code.uk, go on the

Instagram at Potty Mouth. the workshop. Perfect. Meredith and Naomi. There we go. It's been a pleasure to be back. Yes, Josh. Yes, mate.

I'll see on Tuesday. See you on Tuesday. Bye.