Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP20: Alex Jones

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant presenter - Alex Jones. The first episode of Alex’s new show, Reunion Hotel, airs on BBC Two and BBC One Wales at 8pm on Thursday 6th April.  Alex's new programme 'Making Babies' is available to watch now on channel 'W'. Thanks, Rob + Josh. We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Mervilie, can you say Rob Beckett's? Bob Beckett. Moby. Can you say George Whitcomb? Get anything. Good one. Double kids. Are we happy with that? Yeah, was that the sibling I imagine? No, that's the dad and the, um... Hi, this is our son Barnaby. He is five and three quarters. Three quarters is very important detail he doesn't let us forget and our daughter Merrily,

two and a half, introducing your amazing podcast we live in Stratford-upon-Avon. Ever been there? Yeah, but I th-in, th-in, th-I th-in, th-in, th-in, th-in, th-wen, th-wen, th-wen, th-wen, th-wen, th-wen, th-wen, th-wen, th-we'-we'-we'-we'-in-we'-in'-we'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-in'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n's, th, th-n's, th-n't, th-n't, th-n't, th-n't-n't-n't-n't-a-a-s-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-lion-li-li-a-li-y-a-y-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-upon-Avon, ever been there? Yeah, but I drove back from there and my house got burgled, so I hate it now. I associate it and I was delayed by half an hour because they shut an entire motorway so they could trim a bush and they shut three lanes when they were working in the hard shoulder and my house got burgled.. Do you know what, Rob? I had you down as a Shakespeare fan as well. I can't, I don't think anyone said Shakespeare and South my Corrie in the same sentence, too honest, ever.

No. Yeah, so it's a lovely place, St, I don't know this place. The only place that is open after like midnight, right, for drinks is a pub, but the pub is also, it's like a normal pub and there's like groups of girls and boys of like 18 up to like 30, 40 sort of thing. It's a bit more like, yeah. And then you'll be sat down around tables like a normal pub, completely normal like, and then there'll just, so, so, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's also, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, so, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, al, so, so, the the the then there'll just be a girl that walks passing Launtrees says you want to go for a dance and you're like no not really and then but she'll approach like a table of men and women and then bloke just go off for a dance so it's it's quite strange really very bizarre so you checked out all the culture in Stratford when you went there I'd performed at the globe theater that there is a bush trimming throom throom throom throom the throom throom the throom throom throom throom there there there there there there is a throom there there is a thrue thromb thromb there is a there is a thromb there is a there is a there is a thromb there is a thrown. there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is is is a there is is a there is a there is is a there is is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a there is a thromb thromb thromb thromb thromb thromb thromb thromb thrown. throwne that is a thro. thro. I thro. I thro. I thro. I that is a thro. I that's there is a there is a there is a bush trimming joke there I could do off the back of the strip club but I'm not that man anymore I'm progressive. Exactly so my Corey

Shakespeare I'm progressive. Get your chops around that Bardy. Would you have surprised the burglar had the bush not been being cut? I don't know you'd never know basically I was having a semi breakdown because I was working too to the they w and Lou went, why don't I come with you? It's nice in Stratford and we can have a couple of days in Stratford. Oh no, well that's good that she wasn't there, that's good that she wasn't there. And then she was pregnant. So then we rang her mom and dad who lived around the corner and then they came and got her and their thrown birthday present. Oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh my. Oh my god. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh my god. Oh my. Oh my. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that's. Oh, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's good that's that's good that's that's that's times. We've been fans since the start of the show. A dream birthday present. We've been fans since start of the show and a dream birthday present as prescribed by Josh of

the parenting held book with a ticket for the show as a bookmark. Ah, nice. Can't wait to see you both live in April. Thanks for the pod, you're amazing. Lucy and Nick Rose. See you there there there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. A there. A there. A there. A there. A there. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. It. It's. A. A. A. It's. It. It. It. It. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A, nice. Can't wait to see you both live in April. Thanks for the pod, you're amazing. Lucy and Nick Rose. See you there, Lucy and Nick. See you there. Tickets are still available. I think Nottingham, Wemberley and there's a couple left in Manchester, but it's pretty much sold out everywhere else.

But I'm excited, Josh. It's going to be fun. Now Rob. Yes. Well my kids are off school sick. I can talk about that and Hugh Grant. But no, it was just a Hugh Grant thing is quite big. When he's recording this, we're calling it a Monday. Everyone's having to go to Hugh Grant for being rude at the Oscars, but I don't think he's being rude Josh. He's just basically answering a question normally. Yeah. And the interview is so weird. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi the the thi. th. th. th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. th interview is so weird. I watched it and I thought this isn't what I this isn't headline worthy in the way no no in the way that you know a football presenter had an opinion it should be front page news in a world you know cost of living crisis all that kind of stuff but I think Gary Linnocker and Hugh Grant are the real

takeaways this is like new tabloids from the 90s, not now, Hugh Grant and Gary Linnaker, they're in a resurgence. But, no, but they both look good, don't they, for their age? I think Hugh Grant's a tip in point now. Do you? I think he's got two choices here. I th. I th. I th. I think think think think think thi thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I two choices here. He can try and rescue it or jump off a cliff, you know, no, not literally, but you know what I mean? I think it's, I think, because he made a joke about it where he was on with him and Andy McDow, is it Andy McDow, is it Andy McDow? Was he was with a funeral? I think he was presenting an award and he's quite a funny joke where he said this is an example of the the benefits of moisturizer where Anna McDowell's moisturized for all of her life and looks unbelievable where I've never mostrised and I look like a scrotum. So I think he's aware I think he's aware of it but though the interview is but basically people going oh he's a thinne, I'm a thi.

But basically people going oh I think it's actually actually actually actually actually the lady I think is Ashley Graham's like going oh my god are you excited to be here and he's like yeah sort of but in in the Hugh Grant's defense where people going well if you don't that's what they do at the Oscars if you think the questions are vacuous then you shouldn't go I'm gonna tell you now he's being made to go for some sort of promotion of his films yeah yeah most people at the to the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th to th th th th to th th to th thus thus thus to thus thus thus to to thus to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho- to-I to-I to-a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' to-a'a'a'a' to' to' to' to to tho' to tho work purposes I think apart from the really needy ones. He should have got an Oscar for Paddington too. He was so good in Paddington too. He should still be seething about that. I am actually enjoying Hugh Grant as an actor now more than when he was younger. So am I. So am I. It was great in the gentleman? Have you seen the gentleman? No. Are you the thinne? He's the film. He's film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film film? He's film? He's the film? He's the film? He's the film? He's the film? He's the film? He's the film? He's the film? He's, he's, he's, he's the film? He's, he's, he's, he. He's, he. He, he? He, he? He, he? He. He. He, he? He, he? He, he? He. He, he? He, he? He, he? He. He? He? He. He? He? He? He? He. He? He? He. He? He. He? He. He? He. He? He. He? He. He. He. He? He. He. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Would you go to the, I think I'd have the worst night ever if I went to the Oscars. I think I'd hate it. I'm not, I'm not the one for getting dressed up.

I didn't even like going to my six-form levers ball. I didn't go to my levers. I didn't go to my levers. Hows was in Leauze. they say to him what are you wearing and here you go and goes my suit. Yes basically when you look at the telly do not be fooled by the cameras in the clothes I'd say 60% of the people there are hating it the other 40% need medical attention. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Right, shall we bring on a guest she is absolutely one of the best TV presenters in the UK? Yes, she is, she's unbelievable, very, very funny and I think... So funny. You don't realise how funny she is

because on the one show you've got a jump between emotions so quickly. You can't get into a funny groove before you're talking about sort of a sick pet or something can you? Exactly exactly. Genuinely this was absolutely a brilliant interview I'm so excited for people to hear it so here it is this is Alex Jones. Right, we're all good. Oh I'm sweating I've just literally done a marathon back from Sainsbury's this is the start we want let's just start like that what were you buying? Oh just shit that that that that that that that that the kids the kids the kids that the kids the kids that the kids the kids that that the kids that the kids that that the kids that the kids that that that that the kids that that that that that that that that that that that's th. I th. I that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's is th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm just just th. I'm just just that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I is the start we want. Let's just start like that. What are you buying? Oh just shit that the kids need yogurt. It's always fucking yogurts, isn't it?

Yes. I've got a very bad sense of time when it comes to trying to pack kids activities in in the morning. I was like, yeah, we can go to a soft play, Sainsbury's and make it back in 45 minutes. But that's the one-show mentality. You can pack anything into half an hour on the one show. Well, exactly. And it spills over into my other life because now I've got this and then I've got an hour of skateboarding with my three-year-old because that was the only way I could get him into nursery this morning. If you go th was th was th was th was th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th.. I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, theean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thi. And, thean, thi, thi, this morning. I was by saying, right, if you go in, I will take you skateboarding at 1.30.

And he was like, OK, Mama. And now, see, I'm locked into that. I don't want to go. And then you've got to go and take the youngest to a badger, Cole. And then the eldest is going. We should probably do the interaction, Alex Jones from the one show, not Alex Jones from the internet, the bad man from America, who shares your name. Was that problematic when he became famous?

Oh, I can't even tell you, Josh. I mean, the amount of messages I've got, suddenly I'm banned from Twitter. And I feel that I didn't do anything. But I was just like responding to messages that were meant for him going guys. I'm like the nicest one off the one show, leave me hello. And then they banned me as well. Nice. They banned all Alex Joneses basically.

Yeah, so now just to cover all bases, me and my namesake banned. But I mean I get why he is, but you know I'm quite nice and normal. Yeah. Well we've got the better Alex Jones, so we're very happy about that. I think you're on probably the most popular show on TV, but I also think along with that you are the most underrated TV presenter we've got because the one show is so smooth and just flies through. When I did Saturday Kitchen with you the other the other. I the other. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to thi. I'm to to thi. I'm thi. I'm the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theeee. I'm through. When I did Saturday Kitchen with you the other day I was like you are hilarious I don't think people give you enough credit for being really really funny do you think

that's fair? That's really kind. Yeah when you slammed me for being a vegetarian I thought do you know what you wouldn't have got that with Tim Lovejoy he'd have been thinking it but he wouldn't have said it The thing is I there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there's I there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not there's not the their their they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. I's not the they. I they. I th thi's thi's thi's theeeeeea. I's thea' thea' thea' thea' the I, but he wouldn't have said it. The thing is I think there's not much room for personality to creep out on the one show sometimes. It's so packed in that if you have got a funny thing to sound it, the next thing's coming so quick, you haven't got the rigid kind of time frame and I think probably is for the best in some regards. But I feel sorry for when comedians come on because it's quite a hard show to, because you feel under pressure I guess to be amusing.

I love the show but I find it so hilarious because you do the jumps between the things so seamlessly like it's normal and for a comic you just want to go what's happening but you don't know and really addresses what's going on it just sort of happens and I find it quite fun so how many kids have you got Alex I have got a good I to think then I've got three so how many part-time presenters have you got also I think three to be honest like presenting the one point during the pandemic was a bit like being on Tinder. So I would not know really who was going to be there the next day and it was a bit of a swipe right swipe left. Were they good? Were they not?

And now we've narrowed our choices down and committed long-term relationship to Ronan and J.J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. and Roman Kemp. Kempi. Yeah. Who I love. But I'm going to have to have a stern word after the vest of the Brits, I feel. Yes, you wore a vest at the Brits, I feel. Like what you're doing? Are you young cornedgy or you now on the one show? No offense Alex. But there's a bit of a gap is it there. You can't wear a vest at a vest of a the the the the the the the thap th th th th the th the th the th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi the is the is a the is a the. the. thi. thi. the is the is th th th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the the the the the te the te te te te te te te te te te te te te te te te t and then sit there and keep a straight face when someone's doing a walk for charity. No, you can't have a knitted vest on. No one will take you seriously for sad VTs if your nipples have been on ITV the night before. But he's brilliant. The thing with Roman is like he's kind of like an old man disguised as kind of a trendy 30% yeah. Like he loves all the stuff, he like loves space and he loves like history and stuff. And yeah, he's disguised it quite well, but now the one show can be like a care home also

sometimes. He also blends well in that environment. Well, I did present it with you a couple of times. What I struggle with is you know exactly what you're thinking when you look at my face. So if we're coming off the back of something that's quite heartfelt... You haven't got that in your locker. I ain't got that in my eyes tell a different story to the words. That's the problem I find sometimes. So I live and die by what's on the show that week. I think you are really good on it.

And actually our viewers are thua are such are such thua thua thua thua thua thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such thus are such that that that that I think they quite like having a bit of a change as long as it's a nice atmosphere. Yeah. It's fine. Do you think we're ever going to get to the kids bit? That's the... It turns out that me and Rob were so interested in the one show. It's a phenomenon isn't it? I mean I can't believe it. I love how interested you are and I love your passion. I've got one th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. te. teateate. teateate. teate. te. te. teat. te. tha thae. It's the. Yeah. It's th. I've got one more thing I do want to say about the one show which is what people don't know is in the auto cue when you've got a big change in brackets it will say tone change yes yeah or sometimes in big letters sad. We'll be jolly me and whoever and we'll be going on you know and that wasn't it funny

and then you have to rearrange your face so quickly. Yes but that's why you're absolutely proud Alex. Have you heard that clip of the Irish show? This I'd say is the absolute king of how not to do it on the one show. Yes this is exactly what you're talking about Alex listen to this I don't if you've seen this You're very welcome back. Now, author Seamus O'Reilly was just five years old when he and his 10 siblings. Ten siblings? Sadly lost their mom. Oof. Oh, my goodness.

But he can see the auto cue. He's the other presenter. Yeah, but it's a classic case of he didn't see it coming, did he? He was up to your in joy and he couldn't pull it back. There you go. He needed sad and caps. That's what he needed. Now, how many kids did we got Alex? We've got there.

It's 10 minutes of. We've got three. They are six, three and one. Oh, that is a tough. Rob, it's fully wind tunnel. We're in the wind tunnel or it feels like on a treadmill that's at a speed that's not manageable and I can't get off. Oh, three is, it scares me.

You work like early evening afternoon. What time do you have to leave to work? So I go at about 2.30. So what's your schedule looking like before you leave the house? Well, so this morning we've already got one to school, one to nursery who didn't want to go, pushed me over into the coats. I had Oscar's hook wedged into my cheek. He was holding on so tight that I couldn't get him off me. It took two people. Poor Kit. I mean, he is up Little Kit, Middle Child. And so got back from there, then got Annie the little one into a buggy, ran, got to a soft play where I was meeting two friends, sweating, had a quick coffee, knocked it back,

played with her for a little bit to feel like I'd done something, put it back in the buggy, went to St. Bree, shoved loads of things under the buggy, paid for them very quickly, ran back, I'm here. Right, okay. We'll be done here about one o'clock, and then you've got an hour-half before you go to the One Show. No, so what happens then? Three-year-old would only go into nursery if I would take him skateboarding. So we've got skateboarding between 1 30, at which th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, th, and then, and then, and then, and then, th, th, thi, th, th, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and the the the the the the the the the the th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, thi. So, thi. And thii. thii. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. which point I have to get in the car to leave. It's all very tight. Yeah and then you leave and you go to the one show now let's talk to you about the one show. So is that a typical day before before the one show? Yeah that's a

typical day so Kit is our middle child and he's relentless. Relentless. He is like having four children. So I think I told you a story on Saturday Kitchen. A few weeks ago we picked him up from nursery and I needed some bits from IKEA and I made the mistake, huge mistake of taking him with me. And he threw a walk down the installation. Honestly I can't even just tell the noise that make. And my husband was with me and he walked away. I'm the one on the tele, you stay. I walk away. Turns out we both walked away. This is very typical behavior for him. He is another level. I walked away. Turns out we both walked away, left into it. This is very typical behavior for him.

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Must be Legal Drinking Age. This episode is brought to you by Nispresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nisprosso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more, or a Nespresso boutique near you. If you like Josh Winnacom, you're in look. That's because the co-host of Parents in Hell and the Last Leg.

And the Last Legs' is the guest on the first episode of the Always Be Comedy podcast. Out now and with me, your host and MC Always Be Comedy, James Gill. Each week, the Cream of Comedy curates their fantasy comedy gig. Who'd open, who'd close. What gig night do they never want to relive? All this and much much more. It's essentially comedy gossip and chat. You know I remember this the other day. My first ever gig was like a Friday night open mic night and they said we'll just announce you on when you're on, we haven't got a running order, it's a bit free form. I got to the end of the night and then they wrapped it up and they'd forgotten to put me

on. And I'd sat there the whole night. We've also got Stuart Lee, Harry Hill, Jen Brister, Ben Bailey Smith, Maisie Adam, Al Marie, Rachel Paris and many more coming up. That's the Always Be Comedy Podcast. Out now with new episodes every Tuesday. Has it gone up since you've had the third, like classic middle child syndrome, or has you always been like this as an individual? He's always been a handful. And now you're giving him less attention. Yeah, it's cranked up. So he is a kid who, despite me dipping it in sugar, would never have a dummy.

Didn't want it, didn't want to comfort her, nothing, nothing doing. And so this sounds awful, and I'm not even sure how to explain this in an audio situation. But he will put his little hand around my bra strap and pull it like hell. Which comforts him. So all night, this goes on. Yeah. Really? And so is he sleeping in with you? I don't. Okay so what's a sleeping situation Alex talk us through from six to one? I don't think I've slept in six years. Not a full night. Definitely not. So they've all been pretty bad sleepers touch wood apart from Annie. What are you touching wood for? They all been pretty bad sleepers touch wood? That's if like oh no I wouldn't want that to change. I'm that tired I'm not even making sense.

Annie is okay she's pretty good. Is she your own bed? Yeah, she's in a cot so she's in a baby jail. She can't out yet. In a different room. In a different room. Yeah. When we had our first child we were like are we not those parents that they're going to sleep in our bed by now I don't care. Whatever. I will do anything to have some sort of semblance of a few hours here and there. I don't care. And if we have no relationship left, that's fine. Something's got to give. Because if you're not sleeping you'll do anything. I mean last night I slept in four different beds. Yeah, and then, so in the last one bed, Kit had taken his nappy off because he's still in nappies in the night. He'd taken it off and we both woke up with wet pajamas because he'd peed all over me. Oh. Oh, my. No, Alex. And then you still had another bed to get into at that point? So then had a quick washdown in the shower, me and him. This is at like, I don't know,

it was about quarter to four, I think. Oh God. Yeah, and then took him bottomless and me, bottomless at this point, Peronikas, back into our bed where he wriggled until about 5.30 when the elders came in on his tummy like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the th. Like like th. S like th. S like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. th. to to to to th. th. to to the their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to until about 530 when the eldest came in on his tummy, like S-A-S, this is what he does, to get my phone. No, sneaks in 530 a.m. to nick your phone. Yeah, so he knows my pass code. And again, it's one of the situations, life's too short. I'm not going to argue with him. I won't remember a new one, have it. Yeah. But then just now an email popped up from Amazon saying, Oh, Iron Man Mask is on its way to you. 51 pounds.

51 pounds. 51 pounds. Oh, Alex. So do you put them all in their own beds to start with in the evening and then they're creeping? So in the evening, they'll go to bed and it's a very normal situation and they're all good until about midnight. And then it's anybody's guess. Okay. Oh God.

At least the youngest is sleeping well then, the one year old. She'll sleep three out of seven, full. Oh yeah. Is your eldest waking you up at half five in the morning most mornings try and knit your phone? Every morning and honestly he knows where the creaky bits are on the landing. No. I mean we all know where the creaky bits are for different reasons. Me, because when I've put them all down, I avoid the creeks. When I'm going back and fall from one room to the baby. Ted knows because he comes in SAS on the tummy to get the phone. And what does he want to do on the phone apart from online shopping? Oh he is six going on 15. Pornography?

Oh he will have gone to my Instagram, maybe post a few things. I don't show they faces on Instagram and stuff. And everybody do what you like, but I just think they can choose that or not when they're older. But I mean if Ted's in charge, full face. There it is for the world to see. Then he'll play some games, this game. You know this one, you balance the ball and

you sort of, I don't know really, you've got to get her along this track. I mean it's shit. But he loves it. He loves it. And then I told him that if he was going to watch YouTube that the police would come. Because I was so scared of YouTube on what he might find. Yeah. That I said, if you go on that, I kid do not, like if you don't go to school, the police will come and take me away. So thankfully, he's on board with that.

That is nuclear. That is good. That you've gone fully in there, haven't you? Yeah. But then if you say that, not'll take not him away you away the police will get you what happens when he's nine and he looks you dead in the eye and goes good and then just opens YouTube that's a double hit because he's watching YouTube and then he's also gone I don't care well Rob I'm just a day-to-day kind of girl at the minute you know I'll deal with that when we get to it yeah yeah and I have to say and they won't tak th you th you th you th you th you th you th you that th you that that th th th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that the that to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the th th th th th th th th th the the the the they they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll the the the the the the the the the the to to it? Yeah, okay. And I had to say, and they won't take daddy, because I feel that

might not be enough of a threat. Right, okay. Yeah. Wow. So there we go. So and do you try and to divide and conquer the jobs, or do you do it together or do you split up all the different jobs with your husband? Yeah, divide and conquer. So on a Saturday, and I thought I was the only one who wasn't that keen on Saturdays. But it turns out after a very honest conversation with some friends, they don't like Saturdays either. Yeah. Because you're like right, here we go. So it starts with football at nine o'clock. What is wrong with people? Three-year-old football at nine o'clock? Why does he even go? I mean, that's the question, isn't it? But he thinks he's Rinaldo. Fine.

So he's into it. He's into it, yeah. Yeah. But Kit is like a puppy, so it's the same mentality. Get him out, walk him early. Yeah, yeah, yeah you're running him like a dog. Yeah and then the eldest he's a different kettle of fish. He would sit in front of the television for 12 hours a day if I let him. Right yeah it's my daughter. He's not

so into activities, he's into more doing craft and stuff at home all of that sort of things. So that'll be me. I look out of him and Annie. Charlie'll take the one th.. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the that that that that the one that the one that the one the the one the the one the. I the one the one the one the. I the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I's their their. I's their thi. I together. I'll together. I'll tip. I'll. I'll. I'll toge. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll te. I'll. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll their te. sort of things. So that would be me. I look out of him and Annie. Charlie will take the one that needs a bit of a walk, let's say. And then Charlie does all the kind of putting them to bed because Kit wants the brastrap. So we just yank on it while he's falling asleep basically. You'd pull on it. Does it hurt? It's not ideal. It's not ideal. It's not great for the posture, is it, really? Just being yanked down. I mean, and I obviously, like we all do, adore him. But you know when you just feel cross,

because there's no personal space. I'm like, ah, get your little mitt out of my top. I just want to be normal for a minute. You don't come across as tired. Well, that's kind of you, but we've got professional maker people, that's probably why. Yeah. I think Saturdays get better when your kids are all in primary school because you're not seeing them as much in the week. And then when Saturday comes you don't have to get up early for like the school run. That's what we like. Yeah. The weekends are nice in that way aren't they where you've got that lazy

morning thing but Saturday now has been overtaken by this it's like day six of rushing out of the house. Sundays a lot more calm. How are you feeling about the impending walking of the youngest? She's walking, she's fully going. Right, okay. And that is a whole new level of chaos really. I mean we went not very high end we went to ZZ, some say ZZ, the the the the, God knows. Do they? Yeah. I'd say Zeezy. Well it's like pizza isn't it? Double Z. Oh right. Pizza. Pizza? Oh, pizza. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. She. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do they? Yeah. Really? Well it's like pizza isn't it? Double Z? Oh right. Pizza? Yeah. Pizza? Yeah. But we still six to ZZ in this house? Don't know. You've got self-respect. Is that your favoured Italian chain? I wouldn't say favorite Josh, but it is... No. Like the idea of going out as a family for supper is amazing. But the reality is somewhat

of a letdown I feel. But in Zizi they don't care if kids are running riot. So I spend most of the meal going up and down the same set of stairs as Annie. And you do think you're going a bit mad, don't you after a while? You think, is this life? Is this life? Is this life? Is this life? Is this life? And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the reality? the reality? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the reality? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is this life? Is this life? Is this life? And then she's at that phase and she is lovely but you cannot reason for love no money. So it's the constant pointing mama mama mama and I'm like okay what does she want now and yesterday it was the hand dryer in the ladies so we had to keep going back to the ladies to the hand dryer in the ladies. So we had to keep going back to the ladies to the hand dryer and some would say why don't you just not go back to the ladies. Yeah. But the intense mama, mama, it grinds you down Rob. It does. I think

with the stuff like that you've just got to go I've got to relax and just go with the current here because if I try and fight it it's going to be more difficult I think. Yeah, you're right Josh, you are. I think that's a really tough age though that when they're like mobile but you can't talk to them or negotiate with them or explain to them anything, they're just moving and then you've got another one who's not fully at school yet who's running around wanting attention to get the toe.... to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, thin, thrown, thrown, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th........ th. th, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's thi's thi's thi. I's thi. I's th the wind tunnel. Yeah. The Alex Jones wind tunnel, I think it's gonna become a turn of phrase on this show. Yeah, that period of time. And at the same time, this is the weird thing, right? So we've said all that, and my husband's always like, what's wrong with you? I get really stressed that even a day passes.

Yeah sad and then Ted he's six and he does this thing oh my god this is a whole side thing but he does this thing where he plays the system in school now. So he's quite switched on Ted. Yeah but every other week I have a phone call from the office and they know because it goes like this. Hi is that Teddy's mum? Yeah hi speaking. Ted's got a sore tummy. Yeah. And I can't even hide my my yeah. And we have sent him back to class twice and we've just taken his temperature and it's creeping up it's now 37.4. That is not a high temperature. And they go so because of our guidelines I'm afraid you're going to have to pick him up. So this happened last week on Thursday. They don't know that we both

here in the morning did they? They don't know we could be in a proper job. I have to leave. I that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to leave. to leave. I th th to leave. I to leave. I to leave. I th th th th th to th th to th th th th th. th. thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty. It thirty thirty. It thirty thirty. It thirty. It th th th th th th th th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's now. It's now. It's now. It's now thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty th know that we both here in the morning, did they? They don't know. We could be in a proper job and have to leave. I think people are aware of which hours you work though, Alex. Of all the people in the country, people are most aware of your hours, I'd say. Sorry, I'm stuck at work at the moment. Hmm, are you for? And he went, no it wasn't Mrs T was a supply teacher, I was like, aha. And do you think you could have stayed in school? Yeah. But it's just too

easy, ma'am. He said that? Yeah. Oh my word. So we had a chat about the boy who cried was, classic. Yeah, yeah. Classic. But he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, no, no, no, no, no, no. He was, no. He was, no. He was, hea, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was. He was. He was, he was. He was, he was, he was. He was. He was, he was, he was, he he he he he was, he was, he was, he was he was he was he was he was th th thi was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to th th the boy who cried was, classic. Yeah, yeah, classic. Classic. But he's honestly on the cusp of becoming a teenager. And he seems really tall suddenly. And it makes me cry sometimes thinking, oh, I'm losing him. He's becoming, you know. And Charlie's like, he's six. Get a grip. There's another two who

aren't even in school yeah look at them do you think that's why you went for the third because we've got two and like me and Lou have this discussion on the time is I really do miss that cute little baby you know when they're like one or two and they squid you and you hold them and these little precious thing. I massively crave that and miss that. But then I think I'll always crave a miss that. But you can't just keep having kids for the rest of your life. At some point, you're going to have to just accept that that squid stage has gone and was a part of your life.

But do you'll have more if you're feeling that. Do you go for a fool? Well I think I've got the condition where I'm sort of squidge obsessed and this scares Charlie. I can't even tell you how much. And so this whole sleeping in various beds works well. Yeah really puts a stop to the full. Yeah and he's like think about the planet. I'm like, I know, think about the planet. I know honestly you'll try anything. Think about the planet.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the planet. Yeah. the planet. the planet. Yeah. the planet. Yeah. the planet. Yeah. the planet. the planet. the planet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the planet. the planet. the planet. the planet I'm like I know but I love them. Think about the planet. I know honestly you'll try anything think about the planet. So we did oh I don't know why we did it but we did dry January. Do you remember after that Christmas that Boris completely ruined and then it was really cold. Yeah and it was a proper lockdown it was the really depressing one wasn't it? Yeah and you could only go to the park. Yeah we started taking flasks the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the th. the th. the the their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I was. their. I was their. their. I was. Yeah. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I... I. I...... I. I. I.. I. I. I. I.. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the, and you could only go to the park. Yeah. We started taking flasks and stuff.

It was just horrible. And then we found out that M&S was open in Westfield and that became like the best day trip ever because it was warm in there. Anyway, we did for January and dry January. Oh, my word, there's nothing to live for. Awful. Never again and I felt pregnant. Oh. Be this a lesson people. Never be too healthy. So do you think that made you more fertile or it was an aphrodisiac? I think it was the lentils and the whatever because we were peak condition.

Yeah. Whereas normally we'd be soaked in wine so, you know. You are an expert on fertility. Is that fair? Well, I'm a qualified fertility assistant, so I guess, yeah, it is fair. So you went and you worked in a fertility ward for a year, is that right? Well, six months. Six months. And I tell you what, it's nearly something all parents should do. Because of course, the day to day can be, like, being in the trenches.

But you then meet all these parents, and all they want is a day in the trenches. That's all they want. And they want somebody to ask them about to to to to to to to them, to to ask to to ask to them, to ask to to their, to to their, to to their, to to to their, to to to toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, their, tooke, tooke, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, toe, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thea, thea, theaugh, thea, thea, thea, theauuuoomorrow, theauoomorrow, theauoomorrow, today, tod. And they want somebody to ask them about how it is being a working dad or a working mum, which is questions we all feel on a regular basis. And they want that kind of conundrum and the guilt of being at work. They want it all. And you come back and you just go, ah, come here. I mean, Ted said, what happens in that hospital? Why do you come back and you suffocate me?

And I said, because I'm so grateful to have you. I love you all so much. And you know what, that is one of the best things that came out for me personally was just this whole new appreciation of what it is to be a parent. And it's mad about chemical reaction and that's why Annie was a surprise, huge surprise anyway that event. I think like the chances of somebody's eggs, somebody's sperm going all right we can work together it's not for chance it's magic! Yeah

You didn't go for IVF at all you did the show Fertility of Me. Is that the show? Yeah. It is a 10 parter and I think it's incredible that a channel have committed to giving that much airtime to a subject that we really haven't talked about. Like we talk about depression, alcoholism, all of it, but we don't talk about making a human. So called making babies, it's on W, what was it, what would it like to be on the ward? Like what's your day-to-day involve? Some people hate bloods and all of that. Yeah, I don't mind. I mean you're cleaning up so many different types of liquid with children, whatever and that. Well, you got pissed on last night, didn't you? Exactly. That is not the first time that's happened. And once, by two, just at slightly different times.

Oh God. Anyway, so my main job was kind of chaperoning patients and because part of, well, all three of our jobs is kind of being able to build relationships with people quite quickly. And I loved that part about it but it was taking blood it was doing observations it was all kind of the bottom level stuff to support this team but the boss was really really intense you won't mind me saying that Dr. Sarin. He's like the closest thing to a magician when it comes to making babies but he was not messing around he was like rightthing to a magician when it comes to making babies but he was not messing around he was like right just to be clear he didn't say this but in

so many words I don't want to tel the person coming in here messing about and messing about with my staff and wasting people's time and I really respected that but actually I loved it when I was little I used to love hospitals. Some people hate them, I love the smell, I loved the shops because they're a bit crap on things. They got good magazine and sweets and I thought oh I quite like to be a nurse kind of forgot about it when off did some tell and then as soon as I was back in the hospital I thought oh I could have done this job. Yeah loved it. Really? th. And I and how and how th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho they were they were th. I was they were the the the the they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I was the. I was thea. I was thea. I thoooooooooooo' thea. I thea. I thea. I thoo. I the. I the. I thea. I thought, oh, I could have done this job. Yeah. Loved it. Really? Yeah.

And how much did people go, shouldn't you be at the BBC? Because you're on in an hour? Like when you're walking around the wards, like? Yeah. So when I'd go, especially to take people's blood, which, you know, lots of people are quite nervous about blood taking. like to say it but you'd see they face change. It was definitely like anxiety and then one or two would be like you're the same Alex right on the one show. So how long have you been taking blood? I'd be like don't worry it's gonna be fine which arm and they'd be like, huh?

So you didn't think I'll explain you thought I'm just gonna plow on and say don't worry it'll be fine you didn't think I'll explain, you thought I'm just going to plow on and say, don't worry, it'll be fine, you didn't say it. I'd be like, you know, yeah, don't worry, I've had a bit of practice. I've done a bit. What is it the first thing people say to you when, with comedians, I find a lot of them go watch Jimmy Carr like, because people are quite interested to know what he's That's always the first one. Is there a question that you get that comes up a lot about the one show in your work? Yeah, well I get who's your favorite guest all the time. And I'm not sure whether I've got the first signs

of like a little bit of dementia or something, but I literally don't know who was on last night. I can never remember. It's like sitting an exam. It happens. it goes in and out the other side. The easier question for me is, who's the worst guest? Yeah, and that's the one I'd ask. I would never ask who's your favorite. That Josh and Rob all the.

I tell you what, and you won't mind me saying it. Well, you might. If he listens to think he'll be listening. I don't know I might have kids might get him on. Jared Leto's hard work was he? What was he doing? He was just dressed in Gucci and just so dismissive and just so dismissive and put himself on a like a different plane to everybody else. And I just can't bear people like that. Oh he's on Zoom? Was he on Zoom?

He was on Zoom. He was on Zoom. He was on. Dressed like, I don't know what he's dressed like, like a musketeer or something. He looks like Shakespeare. Yeah. And then from there it was like a sharp downhill. Oh so you made a reference to the frilly shirt and it all you're not dressed dissimilar from him.

I know. You're wearing more or less the same outfit. But you know some people you cannot warm them up for love nominee and he was one of them. Now I've learned the hard way about telling people who the worst guests are because I did this once with Jeremy Ions and then Jeremy Irons confronted me and he was like oh so I read an article I'm top five worst guests ever. Oh god well he was tricky because I got the name of his wife wrong. His wife is called, oh god let's get this right now. He's called Shunade and I called her Joan because the surname is Cusack and I you know,

oh right yeah and to be honest I'm not sure how Joan Cusack is but I did it of her and then it came out and he went mental. Really? Yeah but to be fair you know everybody th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi the the, the, the the their thi their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the tho. their? Yeah. But to be fair, you know, everybody is an off day, everybody's allowed. And then he was actually fine. I said, well look, there's been many bad ones since you've probably dropped down to the top 20 now. That's reassuring. He was fine with it. But yeah, I think the more tricky ones stand out. Yeah. You've basically meet everyone by doing the one show, don't you? Yeah, I mean. I I I I I I I I I I I I th th. I th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the more tricky ones stand out. Yeah, you basically meet everyone by doing the one show, don't you? Yeah, you do. I mean, it's incredible as a show that we get so thrown, so and so on, that's the briegues, but you know what it's like. There's a lot of information on a daily basis. And sometimes things get muddled and becomes quite normal. Oh, we've got so-and-so-on, so-and-so on and that's your week, isn't it? Yeah, and I mean, I remember calling Lady Gaga, Lady Garden, because she was just in a long list of people and then it was Lady Garden.

She didn't like that, by the way. She's a bit prickly, yeah, covered in meat. I did the all variety performance and I was on stage with it was me, David Williams, and then there was like the Chuckle Brothers and Bernie Clifton. And I said, oh, can we get a selfie? She didn't know. And I was like, you know what? Fair enough. Fair enough. But I have to say, 99.9% of our guests are lovely. Yeah, oh, that's why you remember the ones who are a bit spiky or a bit tricky because they are quite few and far between which is quite comforting isn't it? Hello and welcome to the trailer of Oh My Dog with me Jack D.

And me Sean Walsh. In our new weekly podcast we'll be revealing the most intimate, ridiculous details of our relationships with our beloved dogs. I have the delightful, spirited Mildred Barrett who is a cockapoo. My streetwise best friend is Dolly, the long-haired chihuahua that we rescued. We'll be asking the all-haired chihuahua that we rescued. We'll be asking the all-important questions like, does your dog sleep in your bed? Do you let your dog kiss you on the mouth? And what voice do you use when you're speaking to your dog? We go about the morning, so I'll give you the rubbid?

Hey, what are you doing? What are you doing, Sean? I'm doing the voice that I used to speak to Mildred. Oh, thank goodness for that. We'll also get our equally dog-obsessed guests. What are you doing? I'm carrying on with the trailer. I know that you speak to Do the voice. Do the voice! We want to hear the voice! Hello, my darling, have you been a good girl today?

What do you do? Have you missed me? Have you missed me? Good, yeah. It's not funny. It's how I talk to her. Don't mock it. Over the coming weeks, you'll be hearing from the likes of Jonathan Ross, Amanda Abingdon and Sarah Cox, about their faithful four-legged friends.

Make sure you subscribe now so you don't miss our first episode on Monday the 6th of March. You are very much part of the podcast too, so get in touch by emailing us at HALOD. Or follow us on Instagram at OMD pot. Yeah. Yeah. Does your six-year-old respect your work on the one show? No. No. Good to know. I still don't know whether, probably like your kids, and maybe they do a bit, but

I don't know whether they still really know what I do for a job. Or I think they think that everybody's parents does this for a job. Yeah, it's just normal to them, isn't it? But what I struggle with is that because he does watch the show, like twice a week on a, say midweek and on a Friday he can stay up if he has a bath and watch the show. And I think he thinks it's quite normal that oh yeah there's mama yeah and you probably get this I'm really struggling with the older he gets not to

let him turn in to a bit of a dick because you do you get invited to places and sometimes Charlie Wrightly so says we shouldn't go because yeah it would be amazing but how many amazing stuff are they gonna get it's quite hard isn't it to know how to... Yeah because you obviously you go I want to give them these amazing experiences but also I don't want them to be taking it for granted. I was about to say Paris Hilton. I was about to say Paris Hilton. I was about to say the the most unliked of circumstances if your is should I take her to, you know, see the snowman in the theatre, not should I take her to on a private jet? But yeah.

But I kind of think yeah, because you want them to have as much experience as possible of different things. Exactly. But you remember when we were kids, they were probably the same, on a Saturday. It was like there's some breakfast, put your shorts on, out you go, see you at 6.30. And we'd go up to the tip to basically the dump and play on rubbish all day, make a den, play kick a can, which was basically like tag. And then if it was raining, we're like, oh, we're really bored. And I feel like, cool, well, we're ironing so and I feel like we pack our kids weekends it's like scheduled yeah I think it's too busy and I don't know why that's happened but

it seems to be like everybody does it and I think a bit of boredom sometimes is a good thing. Agree you said you do the put into the bed you put them all to bed when you get back from the one show no so I don't put the younger two to bed if I'm doing the one show, but I will do Teddy's last story and then we will do like a pantomime whisper of Matilda or BFG or whatever he's reading at the time as to not disturb the other one that's in the bed over there. This tells you all you need to know about Kit. He sleeps with his eyes open. That boy is ready to go. He's always just standing by for whatever needs to happen next. Oh, it's good that energy will serve him well when he's a grown-up. Well, I think so. Like either he'll do something amazing because he's our most tricky,

but he's our most resilient Like he had grommets operation last week Literally hours later. Yeah, let's go then Yeah, I had general anesthetic no nap nothing. Okay, mama. Shewe go? Oh, man. Yeah. Oh, good on him. Fair play It's time now for the final question Alex and then we can release you to skateboarding. What is the one thing that your partner does? Parenting-wise, you think, that is amazing. I couldn't do that.

That's why I wanted to have kids of him. He's brilliant. And then what's the one thing he does that if he was to listen back you would go, yeah, fair enough, maybe she's right. The list on one side is far weightier and meatier than the other side. Which side's that? Hmm, so what I admire about him is his ability to just keep a level of calm and patience when I am losing my head. He would be like, right, go into the other room, take a breath, which patronizing tone does annoy the shit down. Yeah, that is annoying, but it is the right thing to do, but it's very annoying to be told, isn't it? But he can juggle the three with a lot more ease because he doesn't care about the detail. On Saturday I was doing radio two in the morning and so

Charlie had to take a three of them to football. Now not an easy task to get them out of the door and in football by night. I appreciate that. But whether they would have had breakfast and he would probably have a clean napy on. will she have something that matches on? Probably not. But he's like nobody cares. Yeah. But I can hear my mother all the time. And so I don't particularly care, but I care that she would care. And even when I take pictures, even when I take pictures of the children and they're out don't, yesterday we were like in this wetland centre and I was like, I'm not going to post that picture of the back

of her head because she doesn't have a hat on. And my mother will see that and then there'll be a conversation about, well do you think that's wise? It's a cold snap and she doesn't have a hat on. It's detailed. So I'm all they. It's like, the detail, they. It's like, th. It's detailed. So I'm all about the detail because this is how I've been. But Charlie is like calm because he's like does it matter? Does that detail matter? Does that detail matter matter? Yeah I'm slightly on Charlie's side of the detail there. If you're in charge have as much detail. No, I'm just saying if you're in charge have as much detail as you want. However if you're off at work, he's his rodeo. He's in charge of the detail.

I think that's the only way to make it through is you do you and I'll do me. That's the way a relationship works. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. I'm on board. Lou will say things to be like that, I'm like, thiii. that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, is to to thi, is th's got nothing to do with you you you're not on this trip you're over there I'm in charge of my children for the next three hours I'll choose yeah that's quite an aggressive way of doing it Rob but fair enough each the right well Charlie's got a hat on the kid because Alex

mom's wants it on Alex don't want the hat on like I think I think that's why I'm so cold as a person I feel cold all the the the the th th th as the th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th to th th th th th to th th th th thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to think that's why I'm so cold as a person right as I don't be cold as a Like person but I feel cold all the time all the time and I think it was because My mum has got this obsession with kids like layered up to the point where they can't move on walk and they're heating on full blast and now I'm always freezing and I think that's why and I'm doing it to my own children and I can't stop. Alex has been absolutely brilliant. Thank you so much. It's hilarious. One of the best we've ever done. Thank you so much Alex. Good luck with your show Making Babies which is a 10-part show on the W channel. Thank you so much yes that is correct information. I've loved it it it's like therapy. I'm gonna go to skateboarding now for an hour happy and you're th. th. th. th. Thank. th. th. Thank th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I's like. I's like. I's like. the. the. thea. thea. thea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. I'm the. to skateboard for an hour, happy and, you know, a little bit lighter. Brilliant, oh thanks, Alex. You're welcome back any time.

That was Alex Jones. That was one of my favorites. She's so good. She's really funny. She's funny and she's quirky and interesting. And wind tunnel. It's all about the situation. They're in the wind tunnel. She's got a great turn of phrase, Alex Jones. Make sure you watch our show. Making babies on W. Josh, I'll speak to you soon. See on Tuesday, bye.

I'm Ivo Graham. And I'm Alex Keeley, with stand-up comedians who love music. And we'd like to tell you about our new podcast gigpigs. Alex and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and then then thoves. thoanananannenenenenenenenene. thoom. thoom. tho. to tho. tho. the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the. the the. the. the. thean. the the tean the tean tea. tea. tea. tea. to. to. to. to. to. and I have been watching live music together for years, so we've decided to compromise this hobby and potentially our friendship by turning it into a project. Every episode, we'll be going to a gig and then discussing it afterwards with the friends who came along to third wheel us. Asking questions like,

did you enjoy the gig? Did you check the Clochrum Q prohibitively long? We've been to Franz Ferdinand with Rosemann with Rosemounta and Emma City, Kendrick Lamar with Phil Wang and the Cure with Celia A.B. And next month we're going with Ed Gamble to watch Napolm Death. Episodesodes. Episks are out from this Thursday and every Thursday thereafter until attending live music once a week with a different guest becomes logistically impossible. We have no idea how soon that could be, so join us now by going to your preferred podcast platform and searching gigpigs. If you like Josh Winnockum, you're in luck. That's because the co-host of Parents in Hell and the Last Legge is the guest on the

first episode of the Always Be Comedy Podcast. Out now and with me, your host and MC at Always Be Comedy, James Gill. Each week, the Cream of Comedy Comedy Go-Gi. Who'd open, who'd close? What gig nightmare do they never want to relive? All this and much, much more. It's essentially comedy gossip and chat. You know, I remember this the other day. My first ever gig. Oh, it was like a Friday night open mic night and they said, we'll just announce you on when you're on, we haven't got a running order, it's a bit free form.

I got to the end of the night and then they wrapped it up and they'd forgotten to put me on. And I'd sat there the whole night. We've also got Stuart Lee, Harry Hill, Jen Brister, Ben Bailey Smith, Maisie Adam, Al Murray, Rachel Paris and many, many more coming up. That's the Always Be Comedy Podcast. Out now with new episodes every Tuesday.