Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP21: I had no idea where my children were...

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tasks like Miller time. Learn more at Miller Light.C.A. Must be Legal Drinking Age. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with Ruth. Can you say this? Can you say Rob? Beckett? Puddy. And can you say Josh? Whitacum? Yeah! Good girl! Well, they went big there, didn't they? Big fan of that enthusiasm. Hi, Rob, Josh and Mr. Voice Michael. Here's our 18-month-old daughter Ruth saying your names. Thanks to thanks to helping me thou' tho' the, Rob. th. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. to th. Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, to to th. to to to th. th. to their. th. their. to their. to to their. to to to to to to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. to to to to to the. the. the. the. their. their. their. their. their their the the. the the. the. the. the. the. thoooo. Rob. Rob. Rob. the. the. to to to went big there, didn't they? Big fan of that enthusiasm. Hi, Rob, Josh and Mr. Voice, Michael. Here's our 18-month-old daughter, Ruth, saying your names.

Thanks to helping me through some tough times as a new dad. Keep being relatable. We're looking forward to seeing you at the Manchester show. Cheers Tom. Yes, Tom. Go to tho. up Tom and Rufie. How are you Rob? I'm good, well I'm good, I've been quite busy, so a bit stretched and so we're recording this Monday morning. So I've been quite stretched because my daughters are off school today. Oh, so hear this out. So, okay I will. Well, our family,

I swear we've been ill since January. Like, there's not been like a day without one of us. We've not all been ill the whole time, but one so. So so so so so so. So, so so. So, so to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I's a thi, I's a thi, a thi, a thi's a thi's a thi, a thi's a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a th. So a th. So, a th. So, a th. So, a th. So, a th. So, a th. So, a th. So, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a bit a bit, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiii. So, thiiiiii. So, I's a thi. thi. thi. So, I's a thi. Like, there's not been like a day without one of us, you know, we've not all been ill the whole time, but one of us having a bit of a cough or a bit tired or a bit flemmy or for like three, four months, alright? Yeah. And I think like, because my elders have got a cough and she was coughing and she had my teachers at school says I shouldn't be in school with a cough, and I went, well if you weren't in school of a cough, you'd be fucking homesculled. Because you've had a cough for four months. So what do you always do about it? So do we go in a cough or does my children not get an education? What are we doing?

What are we doing? What are we doing? So you don't react? I just said that internally, which is what makes you all stress, isn't it? I've been doing a week of some top level internalising and it's not good. Well I cannot wait to get on to that. But but yeah so anyway this morning so last night over the weekend even the last couple weekends we've been trying to not well I've been promising to go swimming but they're not well enough they're just sort of tired and run down and a bit you know arguing and stuff so they stuff. I had a very chilled day. I went. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. I. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. to th. I'm th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the tod. I'm today. today. today. today. today. I'm today. today. today. I'm just just just just today. I'm because I went I went up to cruffs I did crufts on Saturday with Fred I stayed in a hotel Friday night in Solly

Hole with my dog Fred and I had the worst night sleep I've had since since my children had croup I've never been in a hotel room for dog yeah what does the dog do in a hotel room growl mainly growl and bark anything the problem was a dog sleeping on the bed with you or did you have to the the the the the the the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dog sleeping on the bed with you or did you have to take the cage? The dog was in... I was tempted to sleep in the bath and let the dog have the bed at that point. Didn't take the cage. This is for Robin Romance presumably right? You weren't actually... Yeah, it wasn't having a bit of botake him. Yeah, I'll take him up, why not? So the problem is, the dog doesn't, Fred, gotta get better at that, Fred, my dog,

the dog, doesn't realize we're in a hotel, he just sinks people are burglary in our house. No shit, no shit. He just sinks someone's burglary in our house. He just, you're just so, you're trying, trying, trying, trying, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, to, to, to, th, th. to, they, thi, they, they, they, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. thi, to, to, to, to. to. to. too, too, too, too, to. too, too, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to. to's someone in the corridor. Yeah. And he's just so, you're trying to get asleep then you hear, er, and then I turn all the lights off, but I had blackout blinds, right? And he sleeps downstairs with like, there's no curtains, kind of thing. And the blackout blinds went off.

He went, ah, absolutely. He looked, I that you're filming the next day. Yeah, yeah, I'm filming, long day I'm filming as well. So it's basically nine till six the next day and then driving home from Birmingham. So I'm laying there and the dog's snuggled up right into my head. Every time, every time that someone walks past. Rho-oh, yeah, and the problem is th. th. I'd about 20 minutes of sleep, Max, wake up. 20 minutes sleep, wake up. Awful night's sleep. And the problem is, dogs are hearing is really good to hear? Yeah. Do you know about this? No, but I can buy that. They're well good at hearing,

right. I'm really good at hearing, yeah. So it's completely silent. Country, countryside. there's nothing going on, Fred. There's nothing. thah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, awful. Oh, awful. Oh, th. Oh, too. Oh, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the the the the th. th. going on, mate. I don't mind you barking with someone, but there's nothing happening, and then you hear, theyr-rhh. And then I'm like, there's nothing going on. And then about 10 minutes later, you hear a taxi pull up, I'm like, how good's his fucking ears.

He must have heard them ordering itto the hotel earlier in the day so the dogs used to the room. Oh I see. I got out there about eight nine o'clock and we'll just hit the hay but the dog's not used to traveling like I travel is he? So he's barking or not and then I'll get no sleep we have a nice chill day, then I have to go and do radio too in the afternoon. So it's been a bit stretched and stuff and trying to see the kids. Yeah, that's a classic relaxed weekend with the kids. And so they're ill. The eldest has got a bit of a cough, but the eldest has got a bit of a cough.

But she's not really ill then she's got my ears my ears her and was distraught so like well she can't go in she's got bad ears she can't go in and as we're having discussion I could come and I'm like she I think she's coughing more because she can hear this the oldest right and she's really coughing so she's just like she started smoking didn't she over Christmas yeah yeah yeah she's really coughing. She's just right. She started smoking, didn't she, over Christmas? Yeah, she's vaping now, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's really coughing. So we go, I tell you what we'll do is,

if one's off, it doesn't matter if another one's off, so let's just, it's actually easier. Let's keep them both off. We can't take one off who's not well, for the day, right? The youngest, we've just gone to the doctors, bad virus, which is why it's all inflamed, not needing antibiotics, just rest fluids, cowpole, neurofend and all that, right? Urafed is working, to be fair. So we're doing that, and I reckon if she has a full day

of just on the sofa all day, she could probably go back to tomorrow. I've never seen a less unwell kid in my life. Since it turned five past eight and we've missed a school run, she's fucking flying. Can I go play outside? Absolutely not, you can't play outside. At least pretend. I know! I mean, because Lou took the youngest to the doctors,

and I'm doing this with you and I'm in the garden. She's in the house. I'm down here if you need me. Within 30 seconds she came down, right? And she said, oh yeah, I'm a bit bored, can I play in the garden? I was like, no, go back to the house. I was like, no, go back to the house, and I'm like, no. the scooter.

But yeah, no, so I've got, we've got two kids off school at the moment and lose, having to reschedule a couple of things. And what's wrong with your youngest? So she's got that, she's got a bad virus, the snot and flim collects and pressured because she's all clogged up. You really really the the the their their their their thague. So thague. So she's th. So she's all clogged up. You really want to text? And it can make their jaw ache. Yep. Yeah, so it's worse at night. So it's worse at night and first thing in the morning

because they're not moving around as much and it all sits in the head and the chest. Antibiotics. Basically cowpola and fluids until it sort of clears. So yeah, so that's my, um, Oh, Rob. That's my morning. Yeah. And I had to do a conference call about an event and I've got like, then, I'm sorry, could I'm like, can I wonder if I do it on audio rather in the zoom, I'm not, can't get to my computer and the kid's unwell. You can hear him in think maybe you know this podcast

is it always going to be us stressed? It is, it really is. Well, that's the thing with kids, isn't it? It's just everything's fine as long as nothing goes out of the schedule or goes slightly wrong. But we're okay though. Luckily Lou's not doing much this morning so she couldn't watch them. I know obviously I'm a bit around this afternoon so it's a quiet. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the thi. the thi. th. th she couldn't watch them. I know obviously I'm a bit around this afternoon so it's a quiet week for me this week which is good before it gets super busy and stuff but yeah it's not too bad. But I was away, this is funny on Friday, last Friday, I was filming again with the dog, I was up in Chelsea and I drove back and I got in at about 7 o'clock and I knew that Lou was somewhere and my father-in-law was picking one of my kids up from school and the other one was going on a playday I think. So I assumed that when I got him at 7, Lou wouldn't be here because she's out and then my father-in-law would be there with one of my kids or maybe 2.

At about 7 o'clock I thought oh he'll probably be there with two. I walk in my house no one there. Lose an answer on a phone. So I ring my father-in-law and I said Mick, he went, yep, I went, do you have my children? He goes, no. What? Oh my god. Oh god. So I'm stood there and this is the first time it's happened in my entire life as a parent, I had no idea where my children were. Not even an inkling. Not even, oh, that she's at someone's house. I didn't know the name of the parent, the name of the kid.

And so I sort of knew one was all bitten, the other one, no fucking clue. Could be still at the school gates as far as Uncle said. Oh God. And then try to ring you loo at no answer. Oh God. So I just sat in my house on my own. Did you not? What else could you do? I suppose you could have put it on the school WhatsApp?

Yes, but I don't think it's... I don't think it's... I don't think you're going to... Your main issues are going to be removed from your class rep duties. That's your main issue. But it's not a great look is it to message the school group and say, does anyone know my children are? That's a good point. And then basically what it turned out she'd come Lou had finished early and she'd come home

picked up our daughter and then drove her to pick up her other daughter from the playdate but the playdate was at a place with no signal again. Right right yeah so that's what happened so I just sort of sat there for an hour and a half on my own just thinne just the just like his life life the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. the. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the. to. to to. to. to to. to to to to to the the the the the the the the the thee. just thinking, what is life? Just me and the dog. What is life? I felt like the start of a cop drama. You know, just like middle-aged bloat of his dog. And then you don't really know why until later on in the series. And then there's a flashback to an awful thing. What does Possible sound like for your business. It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit.

Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit A.X.C.A.S. toxin' slash business. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the

supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. How you though, Josh? You've had a busy week. It's been the first of the two fortieths. Yes. But before that, Rob, big news. Go on. Big news. I've been made class rep. Have you? Have you? I have. Yes. So talking through the process. This is for the reception of your eldest. Yeah. The process, I wouldn't describe it as a as as th th th as th th th th th th th th as a th as a th as a th as a th as a th as a th as a th as a th as a th as a to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to be tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have too. I too. I too. I too. I too. I to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the too-s. the too-s. too-s. too. too. too. too. to to the process. This is for the reception of your eldest. Yeah, the process, I wouldn't describe it as a huge political victory. No. Basically what happened. We're in a WhatsApp group with the parents, reception parents. Yep. It's an active WhatsApp group. It's a kind of thing where someone will put, does anyone know a good odd job man and three people will have replied

within half an hour. You know that kind of. I do find that good when you move to a new area or you don't know those little things in an area it's great for you know I've got a caropratch off the back of the WhatsApp group. Yeah exactly My back so straight because of other parents. Exactly who's doing this after school club? Bang bang bang bang. tha. the the the their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th......................................................................................................................., it's popping. Yeah, last one punk in the 70s. Yeah, exactly. Last Monday, 10 a.m. One of the parents puts that the parent network, which is the PTA, basically, are looking for a class rep for reception class. Yeah, sure. I want to know if anyone like to volunteer. Okay, did you ask what it involved? They say. It's basically just a voice for the group as a whole, feeling about concerns issues the class have. Blah, blah, blah.

So the key, the thing there, the class has. So now, what I would say, you have to decide whether something is a class response. It's very Brexit. Because you don't want to go, oh the homework's too confusing. If only five parents think that, you're going to have to break it to those five that you're not going back in two-footed. No, no, no, no, no. I'll go back and I'll give exact stats.

I'll name names, Rob. Oh, you're one of those guys. You're one of them union leaders, the union leaders, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, to, to, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th......... th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. tho, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that, to. th information so they can make the decision. Rather, and you need to go to the United Front Josh. Have we learned nothing from Mick Lynch? So this message gets put on, two minutes to ten, right? First time in history, the group is completely silent. Oh, and it's an active one. So how long's it's been up there? I took the job, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, at at at at at at, Rob, Rob, the, the, the, the, the, to, th, the, th, th, the, th, th, th, the, th, th, the th. th. the, the, the, th. the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th. And, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the, th. And, th. And, the, the, thi. thin, tho. to. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. the the the the. the the the th? I took the job, Rob. At 8.49 p.m. And had to have been a flurry of...

That was the first message and response. I think it's a good decision because if you go first, you're one and done. That's my thoughts. There's way less issues in reception than there are later on. Exactly. That was my thought. That was my thou. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. That's thi. th. That's the th. That's the th. That's th. th. the the the th. th. th. That's the f. That's the f. That's the f. That's the f. That's the f. That's the f. That's the f. That's the f. That's the f. That's the f. That the f. That the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. thoroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. That's th. That's much. Receptions they're just sort of getting them used to wearing clothes and going in. Exactly so so I'm now the class rep. No offense all those reception teachers out there. Love your work. I am I'm the class rep now. Yeah. I already delivered a couple of bits of news to to the class. Right. So far I've only been passing news downwards rather than back upwards if that makes sense. Yeah yeah yeah that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that the that that the the that that that that the the the that that the that that that that that that that that to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'mthat makes sense. Yeah yeah yeah that that I'd say from my experience it's a lot of forwarding on what's that message about a fireworks display. Exactly that's what we've had so far. Yeah so

I've the new tote bags are available pass that on straight away sure yeah and the date of the the charity auctioned as well that's been passed on. Yeah and the charity's always the school isn't it? and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the's been passed on. Yeah and when the charity is always the school isn't it you sort of think is it any actual charities we could send this money to I don't just back into the school I don't scratch I don't scratch the school yeah I feel yeah I there's something I've picked I was very much the charities the school. Yeah I think it's a number of charities but one of them's clearly the from the school yeah so I've the the the the the charities the charities the charities the the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities is the the the charities is the charities is the charities is the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the charities the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the school. the school. the school. the school. the school. I they they the school. I they're the school. I the school. I the school. I the school. I the school. I the school. I the school. I there's there's there's there's there's there's the the but one of them is clearly the frontrunner. The school. Yeah. So I've been doing that. Yeah, you don't want to start picking at that, just, you know, just, you know, just take it. I'm more... I'm a messenger. I'm a messenger. You're a voice for the voiceless.

Exactly. And so I haven't had any complaints so far. Tell me thrown thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. tho. tho. tho. their tho. that. that. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I thin. I the thin. I tha. I tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I tha. I'm tha. I the tha. I tha. I've. I've tha. I've tha. I've tha. I've tha. I me through this Josh if there was an you know a teacher pulled one of the other parents aside to talk about their kid and the parent disagreed and a scuffle broke out yeah nothing to do with me it's not on what's out. No no no no of course of not. Scuffle broke out. Okay it's rose. A physical scuffle. Okay it's a little pushing a shove and then hound bags. Yeah they still had to they they their s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s a they they they they they they they their. they they their. their their their their they their their their their their their their their their their to their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to t. t. tole. to. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. the. the. the. the. the. th of handbags. Yeah, they still had to say that? Probably not. I don't know. They do, they used to say it on. Clutch bags. And then that person got called into school to talk to the teacher and the head about it.

Would you be there as a representative of that parent? No, I'm not a legal insist for the gossip I'd insist for the gossip you know what I'd love more than anything Josh is to listen to other people's parents evening of the kids in the class I wouldn't I'm fine I find my boring enough no but you'd pick the parents I pick the kids maybe it's a reception but I think as they go through it there's always drama and gossip at school and I'd love to hear. I think ours are too, ours are fine. I'll be honest with you, I enjoyed parents evening, but we got 20 minutes.

We were, we were stringing it out to fill our 20. Good feedback, good feedback to the school maybe? Well, just, because other people might want the 20. Well, that's up to me to decide. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, ours, ours, ours, ours, ours, ours, ours, ours, to, ours, ours, ours, to, ours, to, to, ours, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, but we were like, well that's up to you to decide that, isn't it? It's not up to me to decide. Well I think you should maybe put a little vote, you can do a little poll on the WhatsApp group? No, I'm not going to put a poll on the WhatsApp group. So any things you thinne to the WhatsApp? No, I'm not going to do that. I that's that's that's that's the that's. I that's that's to do. I that. I to do that. I to do that. I to do to do that. I that. I their that. I that. I tho. I tho. I tho. I that that that. I'll that. I'll that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. I that. I that. I that. You that. You that. You that that. You that that that that that that that that. You that. You that. You that. You that. You that. You that. You that. You that. You th. You th. You th. You th. You can the. You can the. You can the. You can the. You can't the. You can't the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that Is that just you or all the parents? Yeah, good one. I think I told you that last time you made the same joke. I think I told you that last time you made the same joke. Oh no! It's an open goal. It's an open goal. We've become two old people. Anyway, see, I do actually remember doing that joke before last time. Yeah, it was good. I look forward to the next parents' evening when we go through the same rigmarole.

Are the chairs going to get bigger as I go up through the classes? Not for you. What I'd say is though, I think it's fine if we always make the same joke as long as we go, oh we've donetold it, if we've told little stories three times, let us know. No, please don't. Don't, don't, because I can't. Oh, God, I can't bear that. That'll get in my head. Oh, I can't deal with that kind of pressure, Joshi. that. that. that. th. th. to. the to. too. the th. th. too. th. th. th. too. the story. too. th. th. too. too. too. too. to to to to me. told. the story. told. to me. told me. to me. the story. the the the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. th. th. th. the story. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. toe. too. too. too. to. to. to. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the tho. the story. If. the story. tho. 40th. So it's been 40th week for Rose. It's gone off superbly without a hit. How are you feeling about turning 40? Did it help having a distraction of

Rose's 40? Because as we've discussed on this, you're not, I'd say, taken to it like a duck to Walter. I think that's, I'm feeling fine about turning 40th. I think I was just stressed generally, I today. I think I was just just stressed the therererererererererererererererererererere st st st st st st st st st st st stressed just stressed just stressed just stressed just stressed just stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed stressed is about dates for your celebrations on four separate dates. That doesn't sound like a man who's stressed about his 40th. That sounds about it's so chilled out. I don't know when it is. Yeah, exactly. Do it in about half hour if you want.

I'm so bloody relaxed about it. It's 40. Just a number. So to date, what's that? First of April, April. Who cares? Exactly. Well, I went, the day, the day, the day, the day, the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That's, that. That's, th. That's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so baby. I am. So it went well, did it? Yeah, it went well. It went very well. But I think I stressed myself out in the build-up Rob. I think there was a lot of internalized pressure on myself for it to go well. That I then, maybe in my head, didn't deal with the best.

You sent me some very panicked messages. I just felt like... You tried to rearrange our meeting about five times? Yeah. And then said it was absolutely fine. Yeah, it was fine. You actually spent more time rearranging it than it would have taken to do the meeting. Exactly.

So I just, I needed to get a lot of thing thhing thi thi thi to get a to get a to get a to get a lot to get a lot to get a lot to get a lot to get a lot to get a lot to get a lot of things sorted and I was worried about it all going wrong and then I was projecting that maybe into just I was also Working and doing lots of things so it was an incredibly stressful week. Yes, you had a lot of work on and you're in a last meeting but also you're setting up a what? to get people to send you funny pictures of Rose. Do you know what I mean? That kind of thing. Right, that kind of stuff, yeah. Doesn't actually now, now I've said it, doesn't sound that stressful at all. No, yeah, I wouldn't say, I said that's a ten second job. Yeah, okay. Well, I've got to that's a really stressful things thin tho- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got. I got other other other other. I've that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I that. I that. I that. I'. I've that's that's that's that's that's that's that kind that kind that's a that kind that kind of stuff. that kind of stuff. that kind of stuff. that's. that's. that's. that's that had to get a cake. So you're in your own house, you're in your own house on Zoom and you have to send a WhatsApp message. There's that. Yeah. And what are the other, what are the other really big bit, big big things? Getting decorations. It's lots of decisions. Lots of decisions. By a bit, and a cake. So did you get to make the cake? And a cake. And a cake? And a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And th. And th. And th. And that. And that. And that. And things. And things, things, things, that. And the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, the other, theto make the the cake. No, I didn't make the cake. Oh, you didn't make the cake.

No, no, so what happened with a cake? I had to buy a cake. I then had to bring the cake back from the last leg in a car in a car and the guy was already annoyed with me because I was getting in the car late and then I had to tell to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to to the to to their to to their their not tell tell to to to to to their not go not go not go not go not go not go not go. No. No. No. Can't their not go. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. I to to buy..... to buy... to buy. to buy.. I'm to buy.. I'm to buy. to buy. to buy. to buy. to buy. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I. No. I. I'm. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I to. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to trying to get a cake that someone's made for you into your show for driven cars and absolute fucking stress. Oh, I'm sorry that you had a dog in your very expensive hotel room. It weren't, mate, it's in Solihull. I wish it was expensive. It would be. I'm not trying to claim that I would definitely have gone to a poshual one. If it was my tour, I'd have been in the posh one. I'm only... I'm only... I'm only... I'm only...

Oh yeah, that's why all the stars stay. Some crew's. I haven't got a dog, but I just love the dog-friendly hotels in Solly Hull. They're normally the best hotels. Still was dog shit fucking everywhere out the front. Oh God. I thought it's not that friendly is it? Jesus Christ.

I think it's a bit too friendly. I think it could be a bit harsher. Sorry, no, I'm only Josh. No, I assume you Josh. But what the point it was. It was my own. It felt very Josh 202. Exactly. What I'm saying things broken down when you've got a calm, clear head aren't that big a deal,

but that doesn't matter if you are stressed and you suffer with getting stress and anxiety. The problem with stress and anxiety is any little thing can become a big problem, even if it actually isn't when you spell it out, but that doesn't matter if you're in the wrong mental state. There's a lot of lists. A lot of lists. But I got through it in the week, in the week, in the week, in the week, in the week, the week, the week, the week, the week, the week, the week, the the the the the the the th. I, th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th, th, th, th, th, th. It, th, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, thi. It, thi. It, thi. It's, thi. It's, thrown. It's, thrown. It's, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, that thrown, that, thi. But got through it in the week and then it was worth it by the weekend. We went for dinner on the on Rose's birthday, obviously had the last leg, which wasn't ideal. You went out on the first day for dinner then and you went to last leg for her actual birthday then. Well we had the morning. So I only go to last leg at kind of midday. So we had the morning. Oh thatthat's nice. In fact, our daughter stayed at home for an hour or two so she could enjoy the morning

with us and then I had to drive her to school late and realized that if you drive her to school after 10 a.m. there's roads open in the Hackney One Way system that aren't open before 10 a.m. and it means I can get to school in half the time which was doubly calling. Double e-galling. So now I know every morning you know that you could go that way. There is potential roads that are closed to me at rush hour. Why close not rush hour? Surely that's when you're fucking open them. There's more cars. Oh finally Josh you're getting on the anti-London road bandwagon. The London is a fucking shit-ol. It's a cesspit of roads that are clogged up with traffic, bike lanes that are empty and cameras filming everything you fucking do, Josh. All right, Clarkson, calm down.

Oh, you Les by cock, fuck you! You've lost me now, Rob. You've lost me. It was just the one road. Do you know what, I may may may may may may may may may may may may may may I I I I I I I I I I I I I may I I I I I I I I may I I may I may I may I may I may I may I may I may I may I may th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. that's th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. that. that. that. that. that's that's th. that's that's th. that's th the. the. the. the. the. the. that's. th. Lo. th. th. Lo. It was just the one road. Do you know what? I may have lost you, but I think I've won over a few as well. Yeah. Well that's what makes it great about our partnership, Rob. Exactly. Stiff and loose necks, there's me, happy to be sat in the traffic, because I observe the rules. I knew. No, I'm not happy. But I'm not happy. But I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. the the the the tha happy. the tha. the th. the th. the the th. th. th. the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. that. that I'm that I'm that I'm that that that that that that. that that. that. that that. that that that that that that that. that that that that that that that. I'm that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. th coming out of it now, last lag ends this week, and then I've got a lot more relaxed time for a good couple of months. That's good. Apart from the tour. Apart from the tour. But that's not too, it's not too intense. The tour, the tour will be fun. It's only a couple of gigs a week. It's going to be very fun. went well though and it was all went to success and you enjoyed the party. Oh, we had dinner on the, we had a lovely lunch on a boat and then the went up and down the Regents Canal and then we had a party in the evening and then we had a lovely morning actually on the actual birthday role. I know it went well because I feel sad it's over. Oh, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the actual birthday role. I know it went well because I feel sad it's over.

Oh that's that's nice in a way isn't it? Yeah but you've got yours to look forward to. I prefer other people's birthdays. Here we go. That's meant to the problem. Just can't enjoy life. Can't enjoy life. No it is a lot of pressure and stuff but... Do you prefer your birthday or lose birthday? Oh absolutely lose? Can't enjoy anything? No, it is a lot of pressure and stuff. Do you prefer your birthday or lose birthday? Oh, absolutely lose, but I don't really do birthdays because I can't, because it's second of January, it doesn't really happen.

Oh yeah, yeah, of course. It just doesn't really exist for me birthdays. But those people that be like... Oh, God, the boy without a birthday. What are tough. But you never we you you you th th th th th th th. But you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho that, thu tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. Do. Do thu. Do the. Do. Do. too. the. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Doe. Doe. Doe. to. without a birthday. What? What? What? Oh no, but you never did anything. And even my mom used to forget it was my birthday. Yeah, oh my much.

We spoke about the time she went out and bought me a whisk from our 14th, didn't we? Yeah. Yeah, we spoke about that. Someone on some said about that four times. Exactly. Um, it was a soft peek for the show. Really nice. Really nice. We did that last time.

It is weird heading into your 40s Rob. It is an odd experience. Well, I think I need to talk to you about your new smart clothes. You've sent me some photos of your new smart clothes. Oh, we're going to put that on Instagram. I di you? Oh yeah, I th th th th tha tho yeah, tho yeah, tho yeah, th th thi thi th that th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi thi thi that that thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that that's that's thii thi thi thi thia thia. the. theaaa'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' that's that We're gonna put that on Instagram? Yeah, I bought it on our slack. Oh did you? Oh yeah of course because I saw it. Yep. Yeah I was watching that again. Yes you send me photos of it. I think it is hard to be negative about your outfit Josh. But you're gonna try? No, but it's very smart. And I stink. It's slight geography teacher vibes. Oh come on now. no. tho. tho. tho, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, the the the the the the the th. Yeah, the th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, thi, the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to th. Yeah, to to to to to the to the the to to the to the to to the the to to the the to to to the the to to the to the the to to the the to thooooooooo. Yeah, to to the to thoes. Yeah, to to think too smart which is like geography teacher vibes oh come on now come on now and there's nothing wrong of it it's a nice well chinos nice white shirt nice nice dark jacket nice nice sort of smart shoes

I can't you can't it's hard to complain about it but yeah you can't glow about it either what's you talking about? What? This is the new me, Rob. I know, but I think, I think you're still too young for that outfit. Too young? Yeah, I'm 40. Yeah, that's not that old Josh.

You've only just, you're only just discovering who you are. Yeah, this is me. I'm a geography teacher. I don't think it is. Rob. I don't think you're a geography teacher. I can be. This is me. I know that's the, but I don't think you want to be. I'm wearing different things. Sometimes I'm smart. Sometimes I'm just wearing a Spotify hoodie around the house. Yeah, I know but do you think. Do you think 40-year-old people should dress smarter then? Is that what you think? No, but I want to have that in my arsenal, Rob. Right, okay. Well, I think it looks quite geography teacher. I like that. But it's smart.

It's kind of like, if you turned up at a christening, I've like, I never meant a men. There's a man. There, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. there, there. there, there, there, there. there, there. there, there. there, there. there, there. there, there. there, there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's, there's a. there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a man. there, there, there, there, there, there, there, mean? That is a man there. There's just a man stood there. No, I just think you've got a bit more personality than the outfit suggests. Oh, come on. I ain't got that much personality. Because I think it's smart, but it's devoid of personality. It's just a void of personality. Yeah. And you're not, Josh. What kind of personality? What am I normally showing in my clothes? Just a bit like, you don't take yourself too serious,

you're quite relaxed and chilled out, where like, that's very official. It looks, do you know what it looks like? It looks like a geography teacher, it's been made head of department. Stop saying the word, I'm just made head of the parents, do whatever it's called. You're a geography teacher, a very, you know what you are? You're a very good geography teacher, the kids love you.

You're a great guy, you get with all the staff. You've been made head of the department, an assistant head principal, and you're panicking that you don't feel like you look like you have the authority to do that. Dress for the job you want. Just a bit smart. It's hard, I'd say, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, th. I think you're striped, I think you're very much trying, you've been going on for five minutes, very negative. As your friend Josh, I feel like that outfit does not do you justice. Oh it does do me justice I think. You've got, no, you've got to big yourself Josh. What, by wearing a stripy t-shirt? No, it doesn't always have to be the options aren't stripy t-shirt or geography-the options. the options. the options. the options. The options. The options. The options. The options. The options. The options. The options. The options. The options. The options. The options, the options-stip-stip-stip-stip-stip-stip-stip-stipe-stipe-strip-strip-strip, the the option, the option, the thi-stip, thi-stip, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-I's-s. thi-s. to a shop and just pick up on the energy and see what you're drawn to? And just see what you're drawn to. No rosar, no me, no kids from school. No threat. I'd love to get you dressed. Yeah, it would be my worst nightmare. I like to wear socks.

Dungarees immediately. But it is very smart, but I think it lacks a little bit of zip and you've got zip. Well maybe I should wear a bandana with it. So zippy. That's, that's, you've got a ziaphy. Very good. Very, very, very good. Maybe a bandana. I'm not going to dress smart all the time. I just like to have it it it to have it to have it to have it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to tho. I to tho. I'd thi. I thi. I'd thoom. I'd thoom. I'd thoom. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a thi. I's a thi. I's a thi. I's a thi. I's a thi. I's a thi. I's a thi. I's a thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thea. I'll tha. thia. thia. thia. thia. I'll thia. thia. I you've got it and you've got it in your locker. If anyone's got any substitute teacher work in East London,

this guy can sling to your school after 10 in 10 minutes once them roads are opened. This episode is brought to you by Nesprasso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning unforgettable with Nesbraso. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to the to to the to th. I. I. I. I. I. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm th. I'm th the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nespresso. Discover a world of possibilities. With or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more or a Nespresso boutique near you. Any other news before we do a bit of correspondence? No, because I've just been in the, in the absolute heat of the 40th birthday so I haven't really had a huge amount of news apart from being made class rap. All right to be fair to

to be fair to Josh quite a few compliments came in saying Josh look very grown up and smart on the last leg and his new outfit. Oh really where did you get them? And that's that's from our Hansen? the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. 40. their. 40. 40. 40. th. 40. 40. their. 40. 40. 40. their. 40. their. 40. their. their. their. their. their. the last leg in his new outfit. Oh really, where did you get them? And that's from R. Hansen. No, she didn't she watched. She didn't fucking watch. The, um, no, so yeah, that's just a quite a few compliments. So fair enough, that's, um, it's always good to, you know,

that the older demographic get in touch as well. It's not just a millennial mouthpiece. Quite a few faxes coming in saying. Few, but my pages have been popping off, boomer, do you in touch. Now lots, after we said, oh, let's get all this cleared up, lots of people sent us a video of a man who pours hot water from a kettle on his frozen window of his car and it shatters. Oh. However, it is a side window, not the front wheeled, windshield, so perhaps not treated and reinforced in the same way. But it did lead to this helpful tip, Josh, about frozen windscreens. Use hot slash warm water into a plastic shopping bag and hold it like you just bought some

fish. Go and rub it on your windows. It doesn't re-free and clears the screen instantly rather than running out of water. For the other windows and needing to the the house from J.P. That's hot water outside. So you fill up a plastic bag with hot water. Yeah, and then you walk through your house from the sink with a bag of hot water. Yeah, disaster written. Right and then you hold it around the neck as if you're transporting a goose and then you wipe the ass of the goose the bottom of the bag on the the the the the the the the the the the to th.. So. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So the th. So, th. So, the th. So, th. the th. the the th. th. thoom. Sooom. the the the the the the the the tooom. tooom. So, sooom. So, sooom. So, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ow the windows. So it's like a hot water bottle basically. Yes, that's thin of so that the heat gets through the bag and then it doesn't run out of water when you're in the windows and it won't crack the screen. It's a good shout it that. That is a good tip though I look forward to that.

Here we go you know I said sky wouldn't pause on Bluey for weird reason apparently Skybox not pools in a Skybox will stop active pools if your memory is full if you have lots of recorded programs it won't let you activate pools because it has no storage so that might be the issue this is like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the th is like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. the. I the. I the. It's th. It's that might be the issue. This is like information Paul. I've got I've got a Sky question. Yep. I think it's series linking things that we're not watching. Yes AI have got into it if you recall something once it will think you want that forever and also stuff I've never linked. At one point it's screen it did BBC Breakfast who the fuck is taping that?

I had the news. The news is on five times a day. Yeah, it's doing it. Every time there was a news bulletin, the news got recording. Yeah, and who's catching up on the news? That is the biggest box of that. A child has been born in Bethel. That's when the news starts.

Do, could I just say someone get in touch if there's a way of stopping your skybox doing that? Yeah, the Lincoln's, if anyone knows what that is, let us know. Right. Should we have some correspondy? Yes, here we go. Kids saying the wrong thing. Just wanted to share my story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story to to to to to the story to to to their to their to to their their to their their th. tho tho to their tho tho tho tho. thi thi. thi. thi. their thi. their thi. thi. their thi. their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to toda. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi we go. Kids saying the wrong thing. Just wanted to share my story of when my eldest was younger. My husband and I used to play innuendo bingo and whenever our daughter would say something a bit tongue in cheek or a dubel entendre, we'd make a buzzer noise. That's quite fun. Yeah, that's good. The best one was when she asked to watch, the come hungry caterpillar. That can't be true. That can't be true. Lucy and our gorgeous girls, Maisie and Mia three and eight months off.

Do you want some more children saying come? A friend of mine has a three-year-old who can't say cucumber. Instead she says, Come Burger. Kevin Armitage. I love that. A friend of mine, not even his kid, put him on a watch list. Email in podcasts about children saying come, not even got kids. Absolute animal.

Hi guys, absolutely love the podcast. Hearing different parenting experiences definitely helps with the mum guilt. On the subject of kids saying things wrong, my son has started copying me when I tell our dog to stop barking. My go-to is lady, enough. My two-year-old then copies me by saying lady, muff. Emily. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. I buy that. The come-hungry caterpillar. The fucking jizz-faced caterpillar. Does that just wade in thesethese fruit jizz with loads of little legs just jizz dripping off every little egg oh could say the funniest things okay hey guys love love love the poddy talking of things kids say wrong my sister

when she was younger called scrambled egg, crumbly egg. That seems more normal doesn't it? Crumbly egg. Her elbow, arm knee, for her elbow, armney. That's good, that works. And pins and needles, jiggling beans. Jiggling beans. Jiggling beans has continued in the household now and we call pins and needles jiggling beans. Rosie. Now Rosie, I'd like to say th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thin's thin's thin's thin thin. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. toea' toe. toe. toe. toe. Now Rosie I'd like to say thank you for send that in and that's great but I should have done that before all the cum

stuff. That's on me editorially. Yeah. Because poor old Rosie's got this lovely little arm needletters for pins in the fucking caterpillar's covered in cum! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I might move on from kids saying the Witt wrong things the funniest things and boomer I'm taking the piss out of her own feature oh kids saying funny things it's literally what we're doing here we go

here we go boomers do you want a boomer story yeah sorry I just did the biggest jorn I've ever done in my life oh Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. Oh th. I th. Oh th. I the the the the the just did the biggest jorn I've ever done in my life. Oh, well, it's been a busy week. I got a little boomer story. My dad won of 17. Fucking hell. Jesus Christ. It's a slaughterman. He's been doing that job since he left Scott the age 14. Fak in hell. He should have started in his house. This is an emailing a a a a a a a a b a b a b a b a b. A the the the the the the thi b. A thi b. A thi b. A thiom b. A thiom b. A thiom b. A th. A th. A th. I was th. I was th. th. I was b. I was a biom. I was biom. I was boo. I was boo. I was boo. I was boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo b. I th. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I b. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I was b. I was bi. I was a bi. I was bi. I was a biom. I was just biomom. I was. I'm. I'm. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I was. I'm. I was. I was. I was. age 14. Fucking hell, he should have started in his house. This is freedom of space. Is this an email from a Victorian? Well he's 71 now and he's one of 17 children.

That shows you, doesn't it? You come from one of 17. What do you want to do? I want to start killing things. How long? Surely there's a lot of twinsins, the twins, the twins, the twins and triplets and stuff going on to get the numbers up there aren't there? Well Naomi Kearney if you could let us know about the breakdown of the ages. Yeah well he hasn't he hasn't said but we can get them to come in this is a way a story of the way this man from 16 siblings that works in a slaughterhouse as parented and I can't imagine it's going to be anything other than a boomer story. So he's 71 now every other Saturday morning

from the ages of five to seven he would take me to his brother's butcher shop where a local farmer would bring in two or three cows to be killed in the private abattoir out of the bag. He would stand me in the corner of the abattoir. What? What? And tell me not to move whilst he killed the cows in my full view? Oh my fucking I I would would would would would would would would would the the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to to to to be to be to be to be to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their th. I tho. I would tho. I would to be thoooo. Hea. He wooo. He wo-a tolde. He wo-up. He wo-I to to to to to move whilst he killed the cows in my full view? Oh my god of the fucking Nora I didn't I feel bad if I have to do a podcast in front of my girls in case I swear Too fair it would be bad today all that comes stuff. Yeah, we should put a warning on that. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah, we' we' we' the warnings when we're about to talk about the Easter bunny. to. to warn. to warn. to warn. to. to to. to to to to the to. to. the to. to. to. the to. to. the the to. to. to to. to to to the the to their. their, to to th. to their, their their to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. to their. to to their. to to be. to to be. to be. to be. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the. toda'. toda' toda' toda' toda' toda' today. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. warnings when we're about to talk about the Easter Bunny, but we don't do warnings when you're riffing for five minutes about a come hungry caterpillar.

Anyway, so he would basically kill the cows in my full view. If I didn't cry I'll make a fuss about the lower noises, I'll get sweets and a bino from the corner shop. Oh my god. That is fucking awful awful. I'll actually pass on to the police. How I'm a stable adult now is beyond me. Love the poddy. Keep up the good service. Oh my gosh.

Naomi, fucking hell! Well, well done Naomi. Fucking hell. That is awful, isn't it? Yeah. Do you want to have a boomer story? Do you know what? One last boomer story.

I have a bit of a boomer story. Do you know what, I don't read these before so I get real a reaction, but sometimes that can be quite bleak. Be weird to go, I've got a great one about an abattoir. Here we go. I have a bit of a boomer story. I was at my year nine disco, which finished at 930pm. My dad had forgotten I was at the disco and had gone for an early night, assuming I was already in bed. As the disco ended ended thiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I ended thi. I tied tied tied tied tied thi. I tied thi. I tied thi. I thi. I tied thi. I thi. I was tied tied thi. I was thi. I thi. I was to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I today. I today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today today tooe. too. tolde. I told. I to toed. As the disco ended and everyone left, I was still standing there. The teachers began tidin up and still no dad.

In the end they called home, no answer. Twenty minutes later, still no answer. Finally the phone was answered and the situation explained, my dad had forgotten and was fast asleep. If that wasn't enough, he turned up at the school hall with his dressing gown and slippers. I can't imagine he's gone to bed. He's fallen asleep on the sofa, surely. Yeah. I, I know, you know, I started this episode saying I didn't know where my children were, but I think I'd know if there was at school disco, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever get left anywhere? Left anywhere? No, no, not that I can remember. I think you would remember that.

I remember walking home, like, because I was at sick form in Exeter, so I used to have to get the bus and then get picked up from the bus stop, which was about three miles uphill. And because I didn't have a mobile phone, I remember getting like a couple times getting an early bus and just phoning home and leaving an answer phone message saying I'm on this bus in the hope that they'd get it and they didn't get it and then I've, it would be about a two hour walk. Oh. That is brutal. Up a hill on the moorland. And every car that you heard coming you think this is it. Well, that's the thing. You just th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, their their their their their their, their, their, their, their their, their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thooooooomoomoomorrow, thoooan, thoan, thooan, thoan, thoan, thooan, their, the it. Well that's the thing, you just have to walk along a country lane. It's so dangerous to countryside. And cars go, why is it 60 miles an hour? I know it's mental.

It's so fast. And you're just not only not on a pack? There's no pavements? No. You just have to, have to jump in a bush. The thing you meant to do when you're walking in a country lane... Towards the traffic. It's walked towards the traffic, which is obviously counterintuitive. Oh, you're so pitified though, isn't it? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, I mean this was in the day before iPods. This was in the day before iPods. So've got to walk for two hours on your own with no headphones, I, I, I, I, I, I don't know what I'd do.

No, it's, what was I thinking? Like, what kind of thoughts are going through my head for those two hours? What are you thinking about for two hours, Josh? No wonder I'm so stressed now I never have those two hours to relax in my own thoughts. Are your own thoughts relaxing? And it's the rest of the world coming in on your phone that makes it unrelaxing or were you going over about a million things but you was quite happy child weren't you? Yeah. Maybe that is the answer then get the train down to Exeter, do that two-hour walk? Yeah. We should do that as a special one day.

What? I'll do that walk. Do you do it together? Okay, yeah. Mike tap and just see what we end up talking about after two hours. I mean, I mean, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I to to that, yeah, yeah, yeah, I that, yeah, I that, I that, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I that, I that, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that, do that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that that that, that that, that that, that, that, do that, do that, do that, more than happy to, Rob. More than happy to. It's like enough comedians in about 15 years. Bobby Tracy, Dator, Vale. But the thing is, at least, what was that name? Bobby Tracy? Sounds like a drag queen. B-O-V-E-Y, T-R-A-C-E-Y. So B-B-T-T-Y, is that where you get dropped off. That's, what???? us off. By the arch, you have no walls, just an arch. Yeah, the arch in the middle of Bobby Tracy. How quick are you?

So Bobby Tracy, to where you're going? Outside the spa, I don't know if the spa is still there. So Barbie Tracy's spa. There's, here we go? I love that spa. Fuck. I'd love to go there now. It's a little bit of a metropolis, isn't it, Bobby Tracy, isn't it, Bobby Tracy? There's, there's an Indian restaurant. Oh, wow. And there's a place called Morton Hamst. More tun hamstead? Yeah. More than hamstead. Yeah. Bovey. B. trace it's a to to to to to to to they. the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tra. tra. tra. the tra. It's tra. there. there. It's there. It's there. It's there. It's there. It's there. It's there. It's. It's. It's. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the Indian. It's the Indian. It's the Indian. It's the Indian. It's the Indian. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's got. It's the Indian. It's the Indian. Yeah. Right, and you're walking that. Yeah. Up hill. It reckons it's an hour walk, mate. It's not. To be fair, hour 22 on the way back, it recons. And that is just on that road. That is petrified, mate. Just all the way up. Did you ever stop in Jarna for a cup of tea at the Ollacom Farm Cafe Shop? No, I didn't stop in the the the the the the the the the thiiiiii. I thi. I thi. I tie. I tie. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was up. I was up. I was up. I was tahahahahahe. I was tahe. I was up. I was up. Did you have a stop in Yarna for a cup of tea at the Alacum Farm Cafe and Shop? No I didn't stop in Yarner at the Alacom Farm Cafe and Shop. My God

it's weird hearing you say those words that like I haven't thought about it since I was a kid. Well yeah did your friend you say that the old Bramley Wood B&B or anything like that? No but you put hate to the their their their that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to that that to to put hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their their their their their their their look at the fucking village I grew up in. It is exactly as you'd imagine it looks. There is no pictures of houses, you know it's small. You've got a red phone box? Yeah, someone blew that up once. They exploded a bomb and then the police closed the road for it was the IRA. Of course it's not the fucking IRA. There is no, mate. There's no buildings. Yeah, here there go. Look, I keep, there's no buildings. Yeah, here you go. Look, second row, the white cottages.

The white cottages. Oh, is that what you stayed? You lived? No, well we didn't live in those, but that's the rocking. I've worked in the rockin in the woodshed. Um, look, we've overrun. I'll tell you all about hate or veil. How's that sound? Okay, right, we should go, let's do that. Let's do a small business shout out. Okay. Okay. Here we go. You'll love hate. You'll love these stories, Robbysh. I'm looking forward to

the hate or veil special. Let me do a small business. in Leicestershire slash Northamptonshire who specializes in all event decal from kids parties to weddings. Oh you could use these Josh for your birthday. We started the business two years ago doing balloon displays and we are forever trying to grow our business by keeping up to date of all the new party trends such as party faver gift walls, flower hoops and personalized backdrops. And the business is Waltz Party Design on Instagram, Waltz Party Designs or Waltz Party Designs on the internet.W.W.W.W.W.W.W.D.D.S.

Partie Designs. Code. There we go. Well, they look good. Some lovely balloon displays there, Josh. Yeah, very nice. I would love it if you could do a small business shout out to my cousin Kitty. She started baking bread at 14 after dropping out of school due to her mental health. She's since set up her own bakery, written a cookbook and recently started a business

called Kitty's Kittie's Kit is T. A. I. T. T. T. A. T. A. T. A. T. A. T. A. T. A. T. A. A. T. A. A. T. A. A. A. A. T. A. A. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t expecting that. I've listened to your podcast since I was pregnant and I've now got a five month year old called Alina. You did it. No, they wrote it in. Oh, banter. A bit of fun. Who I reckon I take the part more than Josh takes his son as shall only walk. I'll only sleep on a walk.

Oh, that is brutal. Thank you for this podcast. Anna. She only sleeps with the water to say where she needs me to. Bobby, Bobby, Tracy. Hate or veil walk. Is it a pretty walk? Yeah, it's a pretty walk? Yeah, it's a walk? Yeah, it's lovely because well bits and bobs of it are yeah. Some of it is just, you're on a road. You know when you're, no it's on a road. Can you not just climb over a country with the fields? Well no, that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that that that would that that would that would that would be that would be that would be the the the that would be that would be that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tap be tap. try. try. try. ta. try. ta. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that longer. Is it against the green cross code? No, that's trespassing. Trespassing? Yeah, but it's not really, you're on a little bit of it. I think if you walk through the fields, you've then got a kind of, it's quicker not to walk through the fields.

Okay, okay. It's mainly pretty, but some of it's just, you know those country lanes where it's just, lane, big hedge. So you're literally in a kind of tube. Right, okay, fair enough. We'll have more of that next week. We'll talk more about on Friday. Yeah. All right. Bye. Bye.