Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP34: Jim Jefferies

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Jim Jefferies. You can find info and tickets for his tour at https://jimjefferies.com/tour-2022 Parenting Hell is available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Must be Legal Drinking Age. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Finney, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Becket, Beckett. Can you say Josh Widdickom? Josh Widdickum? Rob Bocette! Oh, I like that kid's energy.

He's nice and he's cute. Vinny? Good name, Vinny. He took a casual bite of a cheesy biscuit midway through. There we go. Vinny's a good name, but if he's from South, he's Underneath, the people will think he'll be hard. Did I say where they're from? Cheltenham.

Oh, you can be Vinny in Cheltenham. Yeah. Vincent, come this way. during the bleak winter of 2020 when he was small. Thanks for being so sexy and relatable, love Carrie, and Vinny from Cheltenham. Lovely stuff. Do you want to hear about drawing, Rob? What's that, mate? Do you want to hear about my drawing? Yeah, oh yeah, I think it's the big tease, didn't we?

We trailed it? We trailed it. We trailed this. You're learned, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thrown. thrown, you're thrown, you're thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, throwne, throwne it. Well I decided because we've discussed this before, learn something you're not, not learned, get in something you're not good at because it's a bit like that you can just relax into, you don't, you're not trying to make anything of it, you're just having fun. So um for my birthday I asked for and Rose bought me there's a, I'm doing a drawing master class online every morning this week from eight. Really. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th. th th. th th. th the the the the the the the the the the the to to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the the the the from 8 to 9. Yeah. So five days in a row? Yeah, to learn skills of drawing. So what have you drawn so far? Well you have three objects do you want to see my drawer? Well obviously it's day one. So it's a zoom with a real person? Yeah it's a guardian master class, a guardian drawing master class. I logged in. Most stiff neck of the world, yeah? It's the most on-brand, Josh Hunnicum.

A couple of little fellas draw the 8 a-A-Mob. Imagine you've put Jim Jeffries into your podcast search into Spotify and you've gone, oh, listen to that, because I love Jim Jeffries, and then you get two fucking blokes talking about the Guardian Drawing Masterclass. Skip the interview, it'll be about eight or nine minutes in. So what so what are we doing more laddie in this intro and attempt to get more new listeners? So what you draw in tits and fannies? Just you're really good at drawing anime porn by the end of the week. So I locked in Rob.

Yeah you can see all the other people. I am the youngest by 30 years. I wanted to draw, I love drawing with my daughter so I thought I'm going to learn, not learn, I'm going to try and get better at drawing. Yeah. And I'm enjoying myself so far, day one. That's nice. Yeah. I bought my three objects. What you're drawing? So you want to draw a object with a object with a the object with a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th with a tho tho tho tho tho thoe thoe thoe tho thoe thoeoeoeo thoe. I'm tho thoing thoe thoing thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the an the an the an theee an thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. I thea. I are you drawing? So you want to draw an object with a lot of sharp, um, you're an object with round things. So I've got a mug here. Yeah. Right, okay. An object that's kind of maniable and soft.

I've got a Plymouth Ar mug of scarf in a box? Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to see some of my drawings? Yeah, yeah, I do actually. Yeah, do you? Where are I? I can't remember where I put them. They're framed on the wall, would they? Yeah, I mean, I'm not brilliant yet, Rob. Let's have a look at this. So this one was done with my left hand. So you do loads of exercises. What's your right hand? Wanking. Oh, here we go. Enjoy it, Jim Jeffries fans. Enjoy it. Um, this is your non-dominant drawing with your non-dominant hand.

Right, okay. I can't really see it. Your camera's not good. It's all grainy for me. You might have to take photos of it, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, enjoy, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th the. th the th the the th the th the th th th th the to. th thi. to. thi. th thi. th th th might have to take photos of it, Josh, I can't. I'll take phones and send it to you. They're not very good. What I'll do, Rob, is next week. You make the day one? Yeah, exactly. So I'll send you the start of the week and the end of the week. That's exactly. No, I think that's a good, it's good to have other hobbies. I feel. I feel excited. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, the the tho, the the the the the the threatheaqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq. I'll. I'll. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha too. tha too. th. th. th. th. th. th. toa toa toa toa toa toa toa tree. treeb. But if you label yourself as something too much, then the ego gets in the way and you can't do anything new or exciting because you're like, I'm a comedian, I can't draw, I like Plymouth, I don't like this, I don't like that, and you put yourself in. But if you are just open to new things, then you're drawing all week and you get at your own edge, you're not just thinking about work or the sign with the kids.

So, go to what? I can't think of anything worse to do five days in a row at 8 a.m. However, everyone's different and I'm glad you're happy. Rob, get this right, before the tour. to be the tour this week. Yeah. I'm gonna have to get up in the hotel, the day of the O2 to do my final drawing lesson. The hotel in Cardiff. Really? Yeah. Also, we get to Cardiff at 2 a.m.

on Wednesday night. I've got a drawing less than six hours later. You'll be tired for the kink. You're up drawing a scarf. One the real the real the real the real the real the real. I I I I the real. I I the real. I the real. I the real. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I............................................................................................... naked. Sorry guys, I was up drawing a year scarf. One of the things about those three objects is I was like, well I've got, I've got to choose my old drips wisely because I've got to pack them with me to go on and tort. Yeah, but surely is it fun to draw a box? Well, not so far.

that the drawings. I ran th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. tho. th. tho. th. th. to tho. to tho. tho. to tho. to to tho. to to tho. tho. tho. I'm to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm the their. I'm their. I'm their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've their. I've. I've the the the the the that. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've that. I've thi. I've thi. I'm tho. I'm tho. tho. I'm tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm time because I was too busy working on the mini egg logo. I'll be honest with you. So that's a lesson learned early doors. I just want to be able to draw really confidently and enjoy it. Yeah. That's nice. That's nice. I'd be a skill I'd love. Yeah.

I would like to, I would like to study psychology, Josh. Would you like to to study, I. I. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I, I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I' to, I' to learn. I' to learn. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. La. La. La. L. L. And, th. And, that. I'm. I'm to. I'm that's. L. that's. that's. that's, that's. that's, that's. that's. that's. I'e. I'e. I a PhD. I'd love to be a professor. That'd be funnough. Should I become a professor? How long does it take? I've got a 21 degree in tourism from a polytechnic. How quickly can I get to a psychology professor from that? You could do an open university, psychology, here you go, the open university psychology. Talk me through it. What have I got to do? Okay, psychology and counseling counseling to the thology thology thology thology th psychology. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi through it what I've got to do okay psychology and counseling at the OU yeah yeah does that mean I do it from home the open university yeah do you go diploma in higher education in psychology oh degree do you want to do a degree in psychology well I've already got a degree can I go can I'm all read but not in post grad post grad are I yeah grad are I? Yeah. So is there like a fast track? Okay do you want to go part-time or full-time Rob? I think I'll have to go part. I don't think I've got. Okay part-time it takes you six years.

Fucking out. What goes full-time? Three years? Yeah I'd like that. How full-time is because when I was at uni I did eight hours a week? I. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I. I. I. th. I. th. I. th. th. I th. I to. to. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to go. I to go. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I'm to to the, I did eight hours a week and I don't think full-time studying is the same as full-time working when you run your own business. Exactly. You need to do, how much time will I need? If you do part-time, you'll need to spend 16 to 18 hours a week. That's part-time. Oh, I'll piss that. Really? That's three days? Not the way I'll work out days, mate, mate, mate, mate, mate, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, to, to, to-s. toeea. toea. toea. to, toea. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Not the way I'll work out days mate. How much you sleeping? Oh it's it's the wrong guest for this intro really isn't it but there we go. Do you know what I am gonna do that not I reckon when the kids are older I'm gonna do that 100% full-time sign you up what I'll do is I'll try and make a TV shot of it. Oh here we go someone's always looking for money right. Now from drawing classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes classes to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to the to the to the th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. Oh that that that that? that. Oh that. Oh that. Oh that. Oh that. Oh that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I the the the th. I'll. I'll. I'll the the the the the the the the the th. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll the the the the the the th. I'll th. I'll try and make a TV shot of it. Oh, here we go. Someone's always looking for money. Right.

Now, from drawing classes, psychology degrees, to the bad boy of a worldwide comedy. I was very excited to get Jim Jeffries. I was surprised why he agreed to do it. Because he doesn't do many podcasts. No, he doesn't do any podcasts. And you wouldn't expect this one to be the one, expect this one to be the one would you? No exactly so we do find out why he's done it though which is very interested. Please welcome one of the best

comedians in the world Jim Jeffries. Welcome to the show Jim Jeffries. Thanks for having me lads I appreciate. We're very excited to have you on. Yeah we are. Well it's not so much that you're excited we hear that the reason you're here isn't is kind of parenting related. Well it's very parenting related. My mother-in-law, so obviously my wife's mother, she is, this is her favorite podcast by a mile. She goes on about you two all the time. And that's our demographic.

Yes, that's the way in. So she kept on going, oh, you have to go on this this this this parenting this parenting this parenting this parenting this parenting this parenting this parenting this parenting the pahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. the the th. th. th. th. to go. to go. to go. to go. to be to be to to to be th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. th. th. to be to be to be to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. th. th. you have to go on this parenting podcast. I would make my day, my year if you're on this parenting podcast. So when the doctor came in, because I don't do many podcasts I said right away. So I'd like to leave a shout out to my mother-in-law Beckett who, oh Beckett. Becket, no wonder it's a favorite. Becker, Becker, who lives in Burgess Hill just outside of Brighton where my lovely wife was brought up and so so she listens to this podcast so I'm doing it for her

to talk about her grandchildren. Lovely yes yeah how many what's yourself how many kids you got Jim I got two kids I got I got one that's a year year and 10 months and I got a 10 year old. Right, nice. Two different women, two different women, but me, ex-lives just up the road and we all stay and hang out together and when me and the wife go out, my ex-babysits for us and everything. So we're all very good. Wow, what great set up.

That's not heard of, isn't it? People are weird about it. Whenever they hear that they just, people, people, people, people, to to to to to to to th, people, th, people, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi,. Whenever they hear that they just, people would prefer to you to go, oh, I hate my ex, she's a bitch or something. That would be more comforting for people than to go, he's a lovely person who helps his baby sit. She's wonderful. We're all family man, we're all taking care of these kids together. That's lovely, I think maybe the gap helps with that, doesn't it? Yeah, completely. Completely. If it was three months apart, she might have the um... Oh yeah. Yeah, I assume both of them might have been upset with that one. But my son's not, you know, he's at the age where he's just happy to have a sibling,

you know, like he's not jealous or anything because there's enough of a gap. But my my my my my my my my the the the the th. But I but I but I th. But I th. But I th. But I that, but I th. But I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's that that that that that that thi. that one. thi. thi. that one. thi. thi. th. that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, th. th. th. that's th. th. that's th. that's th. that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's threate. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's threate. that's that's threate. thate's not jealous or anything because there's enough of a gap but I remember he asked all the time like can he have a brother or sister can he have a brother or sister and I kept on thinking like do you like this house and one day do you want all of it or half of it so this is the choice you're making right now just for a bit of extra company when you're a kid because you're obviously you're from Australia and then you met your partner in the UK, now you're in LA. Well my partner's from the UK but I met her in LA. Oh you met her there, sorry so she's from the UK you met her in LA.

So what what your child, well your children, what are they just pure American? What are they just pure American accent? What's their thou?? they just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just.. they they they they just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they they they they they just they just they just they just their their they just they just their they just pure they just pure they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they just pure they just pure they just pure they just pure they just pure they just pure they just pure they just pure. they just pure. they just pure. they just pure. they just pure. they just pure. they just pure. they're just pure. they're just pure. they're just pure. they're just just pure. they're just just just. they're just. they're just. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're just. they're just just. they're just just just pure. they're just just just. they're just was their accent what's their attitude what they what they describe themselves as the ten year old you know obviously as an American accent plays little league baseball yeah you know but I occasionally I hear me it'll be playing fortnight with his friends and he'll be like hey go around the back shoot that guy covering me cover me and then he'll go good work meet and I'm just like oh it always sounds just funny coming out of that accent but I got him in an Australian passport we go into Australia all the time the baby I haven't got any extra passports for but I think we'll get him probably an

English one so we got all of our bases covered so we can all be spies and travel around the world with our multiple passports and do you what's it like with kids growing up in LA? Is it kind of, are you in Hollywood? Is it starry? Yeah, look, my kid goes to school and I won't say any names because I can't really because it's in the school, but all the kids at my kid's school are all,

the parents are all movie stars and professional athletes. Amazing, wow. I want names so much, Jim. you can't, but I want names so much, Jim. I'll tell you as soon as we get off. Fair enough. But no, no, my kid goes to some very exciting birthday parties. I will say this one because we're not at the school anymore, but my kid used to go to preschool with Galga Dot's daughter. And he never, he never, I don't the, I the, I the, I then, I then, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think, I don't thi, I don't think, I don't think, I don't thi, I don't thi thi, I don't thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I thin, I thin, I theanan. I to to thean. I to to to to the. I the. I the. I the kid used to go to preschool with Galga Dot's daughter. And he never he never I don't think they were friends or anything and I was always trying to push a bit of a friendship because I wanted to go to that kid's birthday. Yeah.

So what's like pickup like is it? Are they or is it all just people sending nannies or you just stee? There's a lot of nannies and a lot of, you know, Rolls Royces show up, but it's just, it's just like, it's not more expensive than any other private school. It just so happens that that's, you know, this is. And I assume all the private schools around here would be the same thing, you know, it all be movie stars and what have you. Have you been to any of the like the Christmas play and stuff must be absolutely the competition to be the lead in that must be incredible. This is the thing I go watch the Christmas concert and I think these kids should be better.

They're all from showbiz families like they should have picked up something. Yeah. These kids are all loved and pushed. I don't think we have any, you know, King Richards or Joe Jackson's in the school. Yeah. No King or Queenmakers. Yeah, exactly. Everybody's already made it. They're just like this. You kids can sit back and enjoy. Because you had a great routine that I still quote to people and it makes me laugh about, you know, when you're growing up, you didn't have all the fancy holidays and nice lifestyle and then you managed to get lovely holidays and then you'd turn around and the routine as your kid sat there at like two years old enjoying this amazing desert island holiday and

you'd be resentful. Do you still get that? I'm still resentful, yeah. We went to Hawaii to Hawaii day and we had to change our flights to fly back, right? And I said, oh, we can change the flights, but business classes sold out, right? And my son said, well, how would we get home? I'm like, there's another classmate. Like, when you see him like, they're sitting up in business class and a bed, you see like some like six foot four, like walking through with like a pillow around his neck, just sort of strudging through, and he looks at like the two-year-old sitting in the

chair and it's like, dude, I get it, man man I resented it as soon as the kids are old enough to take care of themselves out the back year go I reckon I've got a year away now before I just send them to like the shocking truth of life do you tell them about your upbringing do they like do you tell them stories about what it was like for you growing up my tho son, he loves stories about me and my brothers beating each other up. He thinks that, he'll go, can you tell me a story about when Uncle Danny hit you? Or so I told his story about my brother chased after one of my other brothers in a fight with a golf club. And he started hacking into the door like, like, you know,

deciding. Right? So my dad decided that we weren't responsible enough for doors and he took all the doors off. This is like the height of puberty when you're really, your door's your best friend. We're sitting there, we're putting blankets over thought, about two years, doorless. Where did he put the doors? Did he sell them or did he just put them in store it? We didn't took them off the hinges and put them in the garage and they just sat there

until he wanted to screw them back on again? But my son loves stories like that. Any story about getting smacked by your parents, because it's so foreign to him now, the idea of like somewhat a large woman chasing you around the house with a wooden spoon, my son thinks that sounds like a cartoon character, like you're looking a little juicy. And I'm like, that was how it was. You'd clench your thigh as hard as you could, you'd take a few hitings until eventually the spoon would break and then you just laugh at her and that would make her even more enraged. Like that was some good stuff. And it's funny because I look back at it with a fondness. I'm sort of like, oh I'm glad that sort of happened.

Have you taken any of that into your parenting? Like can you ever imagine confiscating the doors? Yeah, I reckon it was a, it was, it was a punishment that stuck. I never fucked around with doors again. I'd say this day have real respect for doors and what they give it. Do you do much of the like the discipline and are you the the task master as it were? Yeah, I don't do, but like, you know, the big discipline now is you just take away the Wi-Fi or the whatever, that seems to be the first go-to. All right, I started out with that whole the naughty step thing, which I never understood when they're very little,

when you do this, all right, you're on your naughty step. it. When someone sit there and cry, like, and he hadn't figured out that I've never hit him, so why doesn't he just get up and walk away? Like, what was this magnetic pull? Like, it was, he was a house of cards that I was like, and you have to sit there. What would it happen if he didn't? I don't know what I would have done. Well, my daughter just abandoned the naughty steps, she just went upstairs and you're like, well, game over. You know, that was it. It was gone.

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Well what do you reckon is the top disciplines you can do for a kid say under 4? There's not much you can do. It's difficult. No. The steps all you've got if they respect it. Yeah, if they respect it. You can confiscate a few things. You can go all all you're not getting blah blah. But. But. But. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the. th. the th. th. the th. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the they. the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. th. the th. th. th. things. You can go, all right, you're not getting blah, blah, blah. But that's the treats. No treats. No treats is quite a good one. No treats. No ice creams and stuff like that. I sort of heard it. The other day, my son broke something by accident. He broke a thing. I was just there. I normally don't give my kids ice cream all the tree. I. I. I. I. I. I. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treat. treats. treats. treats. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I. I. I. No. I. No. I. I. No. No. I. No. No. No. I. No. No. No. No. No. all by me. There's a lot of treat giving that I give to myself. Like the amount of fast food,

because you're not allowed fast food, but my car spilled with fast food bags, right? And if I throw them out in my bin here, it's too obvious. So I've got to chuck him in, I don't get caught not practicing what I preach, you know what I mean? So the other day he was in trouble for breaking something and I really wanted ice cream and so I just got it out and started eating it. He goes, can I have something go, no, part of your punishment is you have to watch me eat ice cream. Not only I would have waited the extra hour until it was bed time. I just got in. You're on a massive tour at the moment. You've the UK. You're the UK, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, the the th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. I to th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to, I to, I to, I to, I to to to to to th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to th th that, I that, I th that, I that, I that, I that, I th that, I th th th hour until it was bedtime, I just got in. You're on a massive tour at the moment.

You've just done the UK where you're doing like the rest of Europe. You're off to, you're all over the place. So do you do that on your own or do you take the family or what, do you have any rules and how long you're away? Well, I used to take my oldest boy, to, to, the boy, to, the boy, to, the to, to, the to, the to, to, the the to, to, the the to, the the the the the the then once they start school, it gets trickier. You know, and I try not to gig in the summer because that's when the school holidays is. So I try to actually have a family vacation. But I took the wife and theook care of the baby whenever we needed. So that was a knock, because we don't have family here. So that's what's good about having my ex up the road that we're all family, we can

all help. We don't have any grandparents or anything like that. And then for Europe, it's just, it's a different city every day, so I'm not going to put the kids through that. I mean, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to, to to to, to, to, to to, to, to to to to, to to to, to to, to to to to to to to to to, to, to to to, to, to, to to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoo.e. th.e. thooooooooooo, th. th. th. th toooooooooo, There's always like this whole idea that it might broaden their horizons or so. I took my son, I did a tour of Australia last summer and I took him on the road and I was gonna teach him work ethic or something like this. I was gonna give him some job to do on the road. And I couldn't think of anything that didn't involve thin the cruise stuff. And it's like, you can't do sound check.

There's not a lot for a kid to do. So I let him bartend in the dressing room, right? And I said, you'll get an hourly rate. All you have to do is ask everyone what drinks they want. This is how you open a beer and this is how you pour a jack and coke and I'm like is this good training for a 10 year old? But then being an American kid you know when it comes down to it he put out a tip jar and who doesn't so I was giving him an hour wow who doesn't tip a 10 year old when they get you a jack and coke you got to throw a buck in there right? Yeah especially especially if it's free in the dressing room. Yeah, it's cost you nothing.

Exactly. But that meant my opening acts were paying tips in their own dressing room for a very dodgy service. I used to have a job when I was 11 where I used to have to work at this news agents and what I had to do it. This is the weird thing about my parents. My parents were more into us working than us doing well at school, right? Work ethic was, my father worked in construction, my mother was a school teacher, but you know,

so my job was at 11, I had to deliver the papers, and then I came back and I had to throw out all the trash for this news so, so it was big boxes had like a mechanical lift that took it down to the basement like ah and I used to just stand on with a butt like real dodgy for the and then I throw it out but the at 11 this is this is gold. We have a box of gold right? And so I'd pretty internet pornography was. Yeah, it's just couldn't get it.

Yeah, you couldn't get it right. So I would get $5 a shift from that and I would be a two hour shift and and they give me five dollars Australian so I'd get 25 bucks for the week but then with the porn empire I was selling the porn magazine offer five dollars a magazine at my school right but I would I would put them behind the dumps they're hidden in this area that was a bit dry and then I would fill up my bag and another bag, a plastic bag and I dumped the plastic bag in our front garden and wait till my parents were asleep to duck out of the house to go get that into the house, bringing in the bag. So I had so much pornography in my room piles and piles and piles of it.

And it was all the same magazine. they were chucking it out. Why they're they're ch ch ch ch. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul, the. Paul. Paul, the. Paul, the. Paul, the. Paul, the. Paul, the. Paul, the. Paul, the. Paul, the. Paul, the. Paul. Paul, the. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul of date, surely. Well, this is an old, no one's going on, that's the April edition, not for me. It was all magazines, what they do is they cut the head off the magazine that said the title and they'd send that back to the manufacturer and get a refund. I think now they'd be some type of recycling program going on. But not in Australia in the late 80s. So I get caught with this magazine and then my parents come down and I some kids squealed, you know, he got caught with a magazine and I get that.

And I remember this sort of the entrepreneurial glee that my father had for this, that he came up with it in itself. He started a business. How old were you were you Jim when you was doing that? I was 11. 11. 11. That is young isn't it to be so important. 11 until 13 was this is the port empire and then I went off at 14 to work at McDonald's which there was no porn to be had. But you didn't get to meet girls so that was something that McDonald's offered that the other job did. How much are you trying to influence your kids and stuff like you're saying your parents that were very into you like... He signed him onto a Playboy subscription. Yeah. Are you one of those parents that's trying to mold your kid and steer them or stuff or just let them get on with what you they want to do? You're try to find out. You're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. They're they're. I they're. I they're they're. I they're. I they're they're they're. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. They're they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm they're they're they're they're try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm they're they're trying. I'm they're trying. I'm they're trying. I'm they're trying. I'm. I'm this. You try to find out where their talents lie or what their interests are and try to encourage that. You know, at the moment my son plays baseball and he's doing

reasonably well so I started to get him a little bit of coaching on that so he can enjoy that sport a little bit more, you know. So I can't teach him. I grew up playing playing cricket. Like he's pitching for the team and I, and I, I, I, I, I, he, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, t, try, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, cricket. Like he's pitching for the team and I'm like, he's like, what do I do now, Dad? And I'm like, I don't know, man. I think you lift up your front leg a bit more or something. But then, you know, still at this age, it's very hard to tell what they're going to be or what they're going to, you know. So I'm like, so I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. to to to to to to lift, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think, I think. think. I think. think. thin, I think. think. think. think. thin, I think. think. think. I think. I think. I th I'm into the arts I always did well at art at school at any type of art you know what I mean so I'm so I push my kids a little bit more in that direction and maybe I should be making them read you know what I'm theyre and I wish I was better at that I'd like to that I'd like to be one of those dads and and grant you my wife and my ex do this a lot better than I do, but I was never one of these dads that sat up and read them a book at night, you know, I'd always go up and tell some type of book. I'd tell them some bullshit story, you know, some some embellished story and then I sort of say good night, and then I sort of say good night. And th, th, and I, and I, and I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd I'd th. And I'd I'd I'd th. And th. And th. And I'd th. And I'd that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that' that that' that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that the reading aspect. Yeah, reading is boring though that's what I struggle with. I'm so bored.

I didn't enjoy it either. I hate it. I don't read a lot of books anyway. I'm like and so today for me to go you have to bloody read books he never sees me with what it but but. So for a little while there when I was trying to encourage him to read a lot more, because he pointed out maybe when he was six or seven that I didn't read, you know. So I had a book that I would leave on the coffee table. When I heard him coming downstairs, that I opened it up until... And then we didn't come, I'd go, oh yes, how can I help you Hank? And I put it down, just having a bit of a read. And how do you get on with the other parents?

Because you know, you're very likeable charming person, Jim. But you do say what you're thinking at that time, which sometimes at the school gates for the parents don't always work. I watch myself at the sports. I maybe say a bit too much, I yell out a bit too much, but I'm always doing gags, you know what I mean? Like, but I, no, I get along with the parents okay. Mind you, there was a school teacher came up to my son the other day that worked at the school and came up and said, I just watched your father's special.

And my son was like, okay. She goes, it's not for children, is it? The things he said. And he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, oh, dad doesn't let me watch it. Right? Which I don't. He doesn't watch my calling. But imagine like, okay, you might not like what I do and I might be a smart monger and all that type of stuff. But you like porn stars children have to go to school as well, right?

You would never walk up to a porn star's kid and go, saw one of your mum's videos. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha? Not for children is it? I have you got an age in mind when he could come and watch you or would you want him to watch you live or watch you on Netflix or YouTube or whatever? I think watch me come to a show live and I think sort of 15 maybe like I know he would have he would have checked me out online before that if he had him already you know what I mean? So I, I think so I, I, it's a difficult, it's a difficult, maybe like I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, he he he, he you, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, thi, he, he, he, he, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th have checked me out online before that, if he had one already. You know what I mean? So, I, it's a difficult one.

I remember like my nieces and nephews started coming to the shows around 15, 16, and I felt a little awkward then as well. Like, I definitely poned it down one gear, you know, but now it's funny, it's like all my nieces and nephews are like in their 20s and and they're all bringing their mates along to my shows and I'm just there doing anal sex jokes and they're all clapping along and it breaks my little heart it does. But one of the interesting, because obviously you were quite kind of, it's rock and roll the wrong word, but you know, you like big nights out and going for it and stuff. So that's when your child is 15 or 16, I suppose it's different in LA because it's more

difficult to go out at a younger age. And in the UK, you can get to pubs at 15 and 16 and 60. But in America they'll make a 50-year-old show their ID so that's fine. They will. So we check everyone, you know, we're not picking on you, you know. And the biggest problem I foresee happening with the parenting is me going, going, hey, don't take drugs. And there's all this footage of me talking about taking drugs. I really really don't, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th really really really really really really really really the, th really the, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thin, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, th's all this footage of me talking about taking drugs like

I really don't have a leg to stand on so I'm gonna have to think of a way to approach that. When you took about toning your act down when the kids are in or like your niece's nephews what about when Becker from Burgess Hill the mother-in-law when she's in does that affect you or do you not care? No, I talked about her and my father-in-law in the last special. I did some pretty graphic jokes about having sex with their daughter. And I even told... You're why? Your partner? Not her sister? Just to be clear. You're a terrible way for it to come out, wouldn't it? But it's like at the end of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th the th. th. th. the the the. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thiolo' th. th. thiologea' thiologe. I thiolioe. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I's, the. I's, the. I's, toe. I just just just just, toe. I'm, toea. I'm, toe. I'm, toea. I just just just, toea. I'm, toea. I just just, toea. I just, th. I just, the th. You're a terrible way for it to come out, wouldn't it? But it's like, at the end of the day, you just got to go, oh well, this is what I do.

You know, I banned my mother from seeing me. She couldn't come to any more shows because every time I'd see she was such a large person and she was an intimidating figure and it's like, it was like a glow around her in thia could just spot her wherever she was and I couldn't I'm sure you guys you have your parents come in? Yeah, I hate the gigs where I know anyone but particularly family you just that's all I think about thrown. I've got better at that I used to not like it but that's because you've got so much family They come to every single gig in some way. There's still every gig. My band has seen me maybe 50 times. He's always there. And there was one time, it was one of those shows, because I don't drink anymore for

this express reason. I was doing Sydney and I had a, you know, a late show and I let it get away for me. And I was too drunk to perform for this show, you know what I mean? And I was slurringing my sluring thing my sluring my sluring my sluring my sluring my sluring my sluring my sluring my sluring my sluring my sluring my sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words sluring my words slurring my words slurring my words. to to off stage and I knew I'd let myself down and if I'd paid for that I'd be upset with me you know what I mean like it wasn't a good show and and I came off just so ashamed and my father was in the audience and I'm like oh man my dad saw that right and then he comes back stage and he'd been drinking as well and he goes, that was the best one. He'd seen me eight times that week, right?

And he was like, he was like, you change things up a bit, you went off script. I don't mind them coming my parents, but I don't like seeing them before. I'll see him after, but I need to sort of calm down in the dressing before I'll go out. It's just. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's......... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. the. It's... the. It's the. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's their their I don't like seeing them before. I'll see him after, but I need to sort of calm down in the dressing before I'll go out. If there's just tasks, people before and it's dressed me out. Well, my wife's family, they all came when I was in Brighton. They all showed up. We had cousins and aunties and all that type of stuff. And I'm telling a story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story in story story story story story story in the story story in the story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. the story. their. their. their. their in the show about how my wife suggested that we get a prostitute for my birthday right now that that's an actual routine I'm like

I don't know what the basically the routine goes and this is how it happened was my wife suggested we get a prostitute and I just didn't play it cool I should have gone I don't know if if something want, it's not for me. I want to see that to do the delay show, but I ran straight to the computer and had a web page up in seconds, right? And then, because it's hard, could, you're coming back to the UK, is like a family reunion, but they use your gig as the reunion and then you're talking about that. It does make it awkward. Oh it does, yeah and that's the, that is the weird thing that like sometimes your gigs like you said are a family reunion.

So it's the only time my nephews and niece see their cousins because they all show up. And I see my cousins all at once and my brothers are in the same room at the same time. It is very good for that because otherwise we wouldn't all hang out. How are your kids? We're not talking about my kids. How are your kids? Mine is seven and five and yours. Mine's five and one. Yeah, okay. So you're all right in the thick and we're in the clear at the moment. Rob took his to a gig. You're not the age now where you have to worry about them socially too much. No. Yeah, because eventually now it's going to start like the clicks in school and all the type of stuff. And you know what's about to happen? What they call the Great Divide? And the Great Divide happens around nine years old where the boys and girls just

stop playing with each other and they sit in separate areas in school and we never truly come back together ever. Like we don't. We sort of hang out with our mates. They hang out with their friends. You try to date one and then you think you might have one or two female friends but they'll, for the most part, we've got to click and stay with our sex, you know to click and stay with our sex, you know what I mean? And so the great divide's about to happen where they hate the opposite sex but they also

secretly like them too much. Did you observe that happening with your son? Yeah, yeah, I've seen that happen. Yeah, I've seen that happen. He had these female friends, but they grew up with girlfriends, and then they went off with the boys and that's I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've seen I've seen I've seen I've seen I've seen I've seen I've seen I've seen I've seen I've seen that's that's the that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that they had had had had that that they had had had their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their... their.. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. their. their their their their their their they're their th. they had th. th. they had th. they had th. they had they had th. they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they girlfriends that he grew up with the girls and he went off with the boys and that's just the great divide man. Oh man has he shown any interest in like has he had a girlfriend or a pony. He's still not at that age to have a girlfriend although one time I remember sitting there and we had transformers on and Megan Fox was walking along strutting in high heels with like explosions going on. I saw him sort of sit up a bit, you know,

and I went, I went, there she's pretty in she, she's pretty in she, and he goes, yeah, and I go, you like her mate, you think she's all right? And he goes, yeah, I do, I like girls, but I wouldn't want one as fancy as that. That's what he said. I'm like, well done son, that took me bloody decades to figure that out.

Well I'm as fancy as that. Those fancy ones, they look good. They're very expensive, mate. Would you, would you like him to become a comedian? Would you enjoy that? Or would you find that stressful? I would, if it's something that he wanted to do, I would encourage it. I don't know if him being my son would help him or be a hindrance, you know what I mean? Because often there has been a lot of comedians, siblings and children and stuff like that. I'm trying to think of one that's ever really taken off. I don't know if it's... Yeah, it's not like... Richard Prize kids all gave

it a go and you know I know George Collins. Tom Holland is Spider-Man but he's acting rather than stand up with Dominic. Yeah, I remember I remember meeting, I saw Dominic at Edinburgh once, and I remember once seeing Tom as a very little child, right, at Edinburgh, and I remember saying to my son, I said, I've met Spider-Man when he was about four, right? And my son still thinks I'm bullshit. Yeah. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons.

Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at building building building building building building building building building building building building building building building building at building at building at building to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at building better schools.c.a. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. I wanted to ask you as well Jim about one about what's it like

when the little one now because obviously 10 years ago because you're still drinking 10 years ago when you had your first. Yeah but I had more energy I could handle hangovers and stuff like that. I'm an old dad now, you know, 46 with a one-half-year-old and I've had the SNP. I'm not having any more. Right, you're done. How quickly did you, because that's how quickly after the birth? Or was it just after the conception? Oh, I had it done about four months ago. Like, it was quite recent and, uh, no recovery time whatsoever. I had it done by this guy who does everybody,

like he's done thousands and thousands of them. And he gave me a certificate afterwards, like a, like a, well done, you've done it, certificate. And I'm like, like, that's a bit patronizing. I don't think, like, you gotta give it up to women. They would never get their tubes tied and then a doctor would be as presumptuous to go. And here's a certificate, congratulations for a bad.

It's just like, I did something. Right, yeah, so I had the snips. So no more kids for me. I just, I, I, I, I to, I to, I, I, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, I, to, that, that, that, that, that, that, I, that, that, I, tho. tho. tho. th. th keep on counting forward to you do that thing when they're when he's 14 I'll be 60 and all that type of stuff. Yeah. Like it just gets away from you a bit. If anything I wish I had my second child a little earlier, you know, but you meet your wife when you meet her, you know what I mean? So, but like, like, I feel like you guys are younger, you had your kids younger, right? Yeah, I was 29. But I think me and you were very different at 29, Jim. I don't think you should have had a kid at 29. Oh, I would have been a terrible father at 29. But it's, that's a good age, man. And also, you know what else will happen wi wi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that, that, that, you're that, I thi, I that, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi. You're thi. You're thi. You're thi. You're teean, you're thi. You're thi. You're thi. You're thi. You're thi, a good age man. You're gonna, and also you know what else will happen with you.

Your kid will be old and then you'll still have a bit of life left in you to do things. You'll go, oh, that's the plan. But the, yeah, the problem is. You're gonna be a lot of babysitting, Rob. No, I keep thinking, when I get to go to uni or whatever, you know, that kind of thing. So like late 40s. And then I've got my whole like, you know, life to go and do stuff. And you think I'll have that energy. But each year I can see my energy bar dropping one. So it's sort of right in real time you can see it dropping down and. But you've got to remember the thing, so it's like, I was talking about, I've never been to the Maldives,

I was talking to the wife, I want to stay in one of those chalet that are on the water or other stuff, which isn't a kid's holiday, right? And then I'm like, now I'm like, now I have to wait until my kids old enough that's maybe 16, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, they's 15, they's 15, they's, to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay, to stay,'m like, I'll be too old to bother with that. That seems like a long flight. Trying to get in the hammock, ugh, fucking up. You can see things dropping away like, I'm never doing that. That's all. All right, well, the only half of the days I want now,

beach one. There's no more sight seeing me. Yeah, I think I've done with that. I've been, I've traveled too much. I've seen enough airports. I've said, if you built it, I've seen it. And if I haven't seen it by now, I didn't want to see it. You know, I haven't seen the pyramids, but I feel like that will be a hot dusty day, I don't know. Yeah, you know, you probably get bullied into buying a load of sort of blanket things or you know tourist things. There'll be some people trying to sell me trinkets and I'm like no. But this is the thing so you have you done the family holiday now where you go to Orlando or something like that? I've done that Josh hasn't yet to a Disney Orlando yeah. You have to do it. There's a window of sort of five years where it makes sense. After that they get they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. I. I. I they get. they get. they get a they get a they get a they get a they get a to. to. to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I th. I they they they they they they they they window. It's around seven I think is the sweet spot. We went last year when they were like six and four and yeah they absolutely loved it and

we're definitely going to go back but I think four's a bit young but from six seven up to about eleven-ish that is a peak time where they go absolutely mad for it. Once it's become teenagers to get a bit cool for it don't they want to be a their. One their. One to be to be to be to be to be. One. One. Once. Once. Once. Once. to be to be to be to be to be to be they. they. they. they. they. they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're they're. they they they they they they. they they. they. they. they they. I I I I I I I I I I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I they they're they're they're they're they're to be to be to be absolutely to be absolutely to be tod. I'm today. I'm absolutely today. I'm absolutely today today they're absolutely they're absolutely they're they're they're they're they're they're We're trying to plan like summer vacation and I said, you know, let's go to Hawaii. It's only a five-hour flight from here, you know, go to Hawaii, right? I like Hawaii because it's still America, but it's not America. You don't have to worry about where your passport is and the money it works out for you. You know what I mean? Yeah. No. Go to Mexico is your other option or something, right. And that, right. And that, right. And that, right. And that. And that. And, right. And, right. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, to to to to to to to to to to to to to go, go, go, go to go to go to to to to go to go to go go, go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. Go, go. I, go. I, go. I, go. I, go. I, go. I, go. I, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to Hawaii. to Hawaii. to Hawaii, to Hawaii, to Hawaii, to Hawaii, to Hawaii, to Hawaii, to Hawaii, to Hawaii, to Hawaii, go to to to to to to but Haines' mother was like, there's a Nickelodeon water park world, like with SpongeBob rides and stuff in Cancun, that's a resort for children, all the type of stuff. And I'm like, yeah, but we live in LA, I can take him to,

Disneyland's just up the road. Like, why do I have to go to this thing on vacation. We can go to theme parks whenever you want. You know, it's one of the privileges of living out here. You've got to worry about school shootings and all that type of stuff, but you are close to theme parks. Do you go on holiday as a big family with your ex and your... Yeah, we do one family vacation a year with everybody. Yeah, so who's on that? So it'll be me and my two boys, my wife and my ex. And we all go out together and so my, like my son will have a room with his mom and I'll have, you know, sometimes we'll put like a villa type thing

where we all just live in a house or something like that. People must just be going, that's such an incredible thing to make work. Well people look at your fanny because we all walk along together. It looks like, you know, a Mormon or something. Was that straight off the bat or did you have to work up to that? Was it like, did they all get, everyone get on straight away? Or was it a bit like, let's try one night away, see how it goes. I made it pretty clear. I dated someone before who did not like that I was friends with my ex. And then I made it pretty clear with my wife when we first started. I just said, I said, look, it works for me and my son that I get along with my ex and we do things every now and again. We'll have a dinner together or whatever. You know, that's just sort of the deal th th th th th thi the deal the deal the deal the deal the deal the deal the deal the deal the deal the deal. thi thi that's thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I'll. that I'll. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that I's. that's. that's. that I that I that I that I that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's just just just just just just. that's just just. that's just just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's that or whatever, you know that's how and I generally like her as well, you know, so I said that's just sort of the deal and they're both just such nice people. It wasn't hard for the two of them to get along.

You know, yeah, yeah, I love it. Something you something you got to work at as well, you got to choose to get along with, you know, like, you know, I'm choosing to get along to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the the to get the their. the th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. too. toda. toda. toda. toda. to. th. th. th. th. th. pay child support and all that type of stuff too because what's the alternative being angry all the time or being you know like screw that you might as well just fucking get on with it better for the kid and also we all spend Christmas together wherever we are in the world like so so like my ex came to Australia for Christmas and she was there with my in-laws from Britain and my dad and all that type of stuff. Oh wow, it's incredible. I bet you do some money on airfares don't you?

It's a lot of air travel. It's not cheap. It's not cheap getting everyone get along. You're much cheaper to be enemies. Yeah. Jim I wanted to mention a gig that I did tour support for you once years ago when I was, and I felt so embarrassed about this, you'd just done a sold-out show in the West End, recorded a DVD, you're like absolutely flying and then, it was just before you moved to LA, and I picked you up in a golf that was about 35 years old 10 years ago and I picked you up in Brixton and then it broke down

and then we had to get it fixed and I carried and I drove to Hastings and then we did the gig at that white rock the the threat. It was very well behaved or I complained the whole time. You were, I don't know if you were hung over or what, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You were very th. You were very th. th. th. You were very th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi at that white rock theater. It was very well behaved, but I complain the whole time. You were, I don't know if you were hungover or what, but you were very quiet and quite reflective and very zen about it all. I don't know what was going on in your ed or what you've been up to, but it worked for me, because then on the way back, we saw like three accidents that happened. I probably remember this more than you.

It was like a massive moment in my career to do your support. And then I eventually got you over at like three, four in the morning. And I remember, and I eventually paid me, I'd already been paid for your agent, but you also gave me a big wad of cash, that's for you mate and I remember because I really needed the money at the time and that was really full with you because it had been a horrendous journey and you could have quite rightly withheld my fee because the car kept breaking down. I don't know if you remember it. I don't remember the car breaking down but I do remember the gig I remember thinking you

you were good and I think was the only time I've ever seen you live. I've seen you on TV since, of course. I've always tried to be very zen about being late for gigs or something because stressing out this doesn't help the situation. There's nothing to be done. There was one time I was in a car with Tom stayed and I was panicking about being about being late for the gig, right? And Tom was a more established comedian. And I tho I I I I I I I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I was tho I was tho I was tho I was tho I was tho I was tho I was tho I was tho, I was tho, I tho, I thi, I was thi, I tho, I was tho, I was tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi, I was tho thi, I was tho thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, that, that, that-augh, that, that, that, that-a-s thr-a-s me and I think I was driving him but I was like oh fuck we're not gonna make it to the gig we're not gonna make it to the gig and he just had a cigarette in his mouth and he

went we are the gig. Amazing! I'm just like your tour dates the list of places you're getting to go coming up so this this is a fucking spring and summer. Milan, Berlin, Prague, Warsaw, Worsal, Helsinki, Oslo, Bergen, Stravanger, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Burschelic, Budez, Athens, Lisbon, Barcelona, Madrid, Tel Aviv, Dubai, Antwerp, etc. It's a great life that, isn't it? That you say that, that sounds sounds like like like like like like like like like like like like that, like that, like that's like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi, like thi, thi, thi,'s a great life that, isn't it? That's so much. You say that, that sounds like, like Living Hill in a way.

It would be wonderful if you're spending four days in each town. Yeah, actually they're each in a row, so you're not going, let's enjoy Oslo, you're going, I've got to be in Burgan in 12 hours. Yeah, it's like I'm plane, get in there. It's like I'm doing two shows in Helsinki and two shows in Warsaw in the space of 24 hours or something. That's like six hours of stand-up. So it's like, apart from the meal that you have backstage, I'm a today.

Look, I'm a fatter at the moment because I'm a off the UK bit because I'm a sucker for, I'm a sucker for if there's a particular type of local cuisine, well I've got to have that. Right. So if I'm in Philly I have to have a Philly cheese steak. If I'm in Buffalo, I have to have buffalo wings. I'm going to have to have parodies backstage and Bratwurst in Germany. I'm going to have like otherwise what's the point of this trip? You know what I mean? So, if, and also everyone's thing that they're famous for is never a salad. There's no, there's no town that's like, oh, we make a famous salad, it's always something

covered with cheese and a fucking dipped in something, deep fried. Jim, I don't want to panic you about the the the this website, you're on the 13th of May you're in Barcelona, no sorry 15th of May you're in Madrid, 16th of May you're in Tel Aviv, 17th for May, Dubai, 18th of May, back to Belgium. Yeah, that would be right. That's a bloody wow. What happened was Dubai and Israel have just been added to the to th site. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. this website th. this website this website th. this website th. this website this website this website th. this website this website th. this website this this website this website this this this this this this right. That's the bloody how. What happened was Dubai and Israel had just been added to the tour. And so it was lovely routing before that. It all made sense. I had a couple of days. Yeah, you had a couple of days.

I was going to be eating in Clayola. I was going to have a wonderful time, you know what I mean? But when's the tour all finished when can you rest? Or are you back in December as well? After Europe, I'm uh, I'm going, all I've got is a weekend in Vegas and I'm going to enter the uh... the poker world series. Oh yeah? Oh yeah, I'm gonna give it a go. Now this is the thing is I'm not expecting to do well because I'd do all right when I'm playing with my friends but they're not great poker players you know what I mean and you can't play online here anymore they made it illegal in America so I don't really have

much place to practice but I'm a handy poker player I end it occasionally when I play like a casino or something if they have a tournament in the afternoon I'll play but it's always weird because you're being a tournament of like 60 people and like 30 of them are coming to the show. And so the tournament's like it's a lot of chatting to people. I sort of try to stay quiet the whole time I play. I'll tell you what, so I'm getting sort of lessons with this guy who's helping me out, who's a comic and a pro player. And I said to him thia thia thia thia thia thia thia. thia thia thia thia thia thia thia th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. I'm, like, th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I thi, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi, thi, thi said to him, I said, he goes, he goes,

he goes, oh, I used to play with this Azi guy. This Azi guy used to play blonde hair, Shane, and I went Shane Warren, right? He goes, yeah, Shane Warren, because Shane Warren always used to do anything. He goes, he goes, wasn't a bad poker player. I said he was a pretty good cricket at and he went Did he play cricket as well? I'm like

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Amazing. We always finished with the final. We final question what's about parenting. Do you want to do it this time Rob? Yeah, so basically this is one thing about your partner. You might have to double up on this with your ex as well. One thing th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to. to to. to to to to to. th. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. might have to double up on this with your ex as well. One thing about your partner, they do parenting wise where you think, oh my god, they're incredible. You know, I'm so blessed to have them

as a partner who's got to have a child with. And also one thing that they do that drives you mad. That you haven't toldto her daughter that they might go actually that's a fair point. Oh yeah there's a lot of steak here because normally you think the partner's not going to hear but that mom's going to hear. And also there's anything you want to say about your mother-in-law and his thoughts you have about Beckers now is to win some serious brownie points. Oh I think she said have been a better parent my wife's to thage. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin thin, thin' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, th. th. Normally, thi. Normally, thi. Normally, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thinn' thin thinn' thin, thin very well is get, she gets vegetables into, well, her stepson, she gets vegetables into the older boy very well, right? Where I would give up a bit more, but she's determined.

Sometimes a disproportionate amount of vegetables where when he, when she's not looking, I get a spoon and I eat some of his peas really quickly and I wink at him like I know mate it's a bit much. You know how you do that one? And then I would say my ex doesn't she's a bit more of a pushover that's the bit where she has a problem my wife what does she do that drives me mad? Well she is with the with the baby she can't see. she can't see. She's th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I thin, I thin, I thin, I'm thin, thin, th thin, th thin, thin, thin, thi thin, thin, thin, I'm thin, wife, what does she do that drives me mad? Well, she's with the baby, she can't seem... Oh God, she put me listening. She can't seem to change a. Like, like, oh, he keeps on moving his arms.

He keeps on moving his arms. Well, overpowering. You know what I mean? But you can't say that. You just gotta go, oh, it looks difficult. Like, like, it's nappy changes a fucking war. And then I just, I just sort of get in there and hold him down and off I go, and then off you go, mate, you know what I mean? Yeah, I think you've got to pin them down, it's the only way.

Especially when they get a bit fighting, because as I get older. They're not gonna remember it. Yeah, you just on that question. Thank you very much Jim Yeah, that's absolutely absolutely a pleasure. Thanks for doing it and big a lot of Becker in Burgess Hill For connecting us in for the out new agent. Cheers Becca. Cheers, jure. Thanks, thanks, lads Jim Jeffries. I love that. I love that. I really enjoyed that. Isn't very exciting when you zoomed someone who's in LA? Yeah? Yeah's slightly annoying for our record times that we're now getting people from America, but apart from that is very exciting. Yes, 7pm. Not ideal. Can you be not into at 9 a.m. on a Monday morning, please? Yes, please. Could you get up at 2 a.m. Sunday night, LA time, please? When Michael sometimes sends over like a big? Yeah. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to to to to to to th. Yeah, to th. Yeah, th. the the th. the the the th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the to to the to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. th Sunday night at L.A. time when Michael sometimes sends over like a big name,

part me goes, yes! And then part me goes, oh, that'll be on their schedule, wouldn't it? Thank you to Jim. He's on tour. I'll see you on Tuesday. Yeah, I'll see you on Tuesday. Cheers, mate. And thank you Jim Jeffrey's mother-in-law.