Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP37: Hand vs. Kettle

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. YorkUr.C.C.A. I'm going back to University for zero dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides, not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month.

Savings May 3, eligibility and member terms apply. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefinepahe. the powerful backing of American Express. Turns and Commissions apply. Visit MX.c.c.c.A. slash business plan. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with Florence. Can you say Roebucket? Raw Bucke? Can you say Josh Whittakum?

No. No. No, she, no they can't actually. No, is that Australia? Yeah, rural NSW. New South Wales. Absolutely love the podcast. This is my two nearly three-year-old Florence. She's a hybrid child with her father being a hundred percent Australian farmer and me being a mother being a hundred percent British. We live in the Outback. Oh, In New South Wales, get this, on a 13,000 acre farm. That's probably worth about three grand in Australian. It takes me... There's so much space. It takes me three-hour road trip to do the groceries. I don't like their life. That is a horror, that's mental. I missed the days in England when I could get Dave in the lemon van to drop off my weekly shop.

She's, this woman of Victorian. Stay sex in relatable Georgina Simpson, Royal New South Wales. P.S. please bring Pounding Hell To the 10 hour round trip to Sydney to see you guys. How have you met him? He lives on a 13,000 acre farm in the middle of nowhere. Met who? She's 100% British and he's 100% Australian farmer. Has she been kidnapped? Is it a cry for help? Read the message again, look for clues. Oh, by the way, it's written in a newspaper headline, it's all chopped up. And blood.

And blood. And there's an ear as well, which I'm... Nice to get a little gift, so thank you for that. Thanks for listening. Do you reckon she's got, if they've got 13,000 acres she's got? Do you reckon she just lives on the edge of it, the closest edge to where all the towns are? Yeah, why would you live in the middle? I suppose you're having. Oh God, it's just... It's a long drive, isn't it? And it must be boiling, Rob. It wouldn't be my scene,

but good luck to you. I definitely think you 50 cent where he was talking about he bought Mike Tyson's 50,000 square foot mega mansion or something when he got really rich in face. And he ended up leaving it and moving somewhere really small, relatively small compared. And I think he's been interviewed and they said, well, why did you leave the house? That's like the dream house. He went, have you ever looked down the corridor in your own home and thought I can't bother to go down there? Yeah well there's nothing happening down there that's gonna make me want to walk. Imagine looking down field upon field of acres. It's not not field. It's not field. It's just sort of rock just yeah kind of dusty rock but I'm a big fan of Australia I'm not I'm not pelting it. A thush. Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh Josh how how how how how how how how th you you you th. Josh I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not pelting it. Anyway, Josh, how are you? I'm not spoken to you for ages because we've finished

the tour. Back to, back to life with a bump, Rob. It does, yeah, it feels a bit like, you know, like when you're at uni and you're like, living a life, then you go back shit off your mom and dad's ass at 7 a.m. Which I probably will just to be clear. Give it a few years, mate. We'll be there. Oh God. Oh life. Um, so just when you stop wiping your kids ass, you have to start wiping your parents and they go, I did it for you when you were younger.

Yes, but I wasn't eating a lamb hotpot, was I when I was four months old, I was on milk. Makes it a lot easier. Just start feeding your parents milk. It's been a tough week, Rob, you'll be pleased to know. Do you want the good news? Has it? You said this is your chilled out week? Yeah. It hasn't been chilled out. It hasn't worked out. The first of my six chilled out weeks, I've blown it. It's okay, because you've got six chilled out weeks because your autumn's insane. I don't know what your summer's like. My summer's all right. My kettle stopped working, Rob. Okay, right. Yep. So I have to hold down the button to make it boil.

No, you don't. You've gone buy a new kettle. So you still haven't done it, you've just been holding it down. Well I only remember when I get to the kettle and then I have to... All right, not this again. But because I have to hold down the button, I basically, I get the steam on my hand and I have to basically psych out the kettle and stay as long as I can with the steam to get a hot cup of tea, hand versus kettle. So is your is your the button at the top of the kettle then rather the bottom but the steam's coming all over the fucking place? Okay so when did this happen? Some of the steam comes out the kettle hole the buttonhole the buttonhole. The button hole. This has happened all week I wasn't going to to talk about it but then I just made a cup of tea just before we started this and I was like this is doing my head and okay why don't you order a kettle now can you? Wow

we've got a podcast to do Rob. Have I've got a quite I've got a quick because Rose has been away a couple of days this week hasn't she? Yeah yeah yeah right so I get in the sense are you allowed to order a kettle with out of a th okay thumbs up from Rose? Absolutely. Well, I wouldn't say we discussed it, but I'd say no. No, okay, so if you just gone, okay, roses away, busy with the kids, you're on Amazon, whatever or curries or whatever. Quickly, a couple of taps, you've got a kettle coming tomorrow. Yeah.

Right, which is great for you. You're having cup of tea, no steamy-amy farm, no holding it. Because you've got both kids on your own, you can't hold a kettle because it takes a long time to boil a kettle, didn't it? When you've got the kids and the tea you're running about. So, because it needs to aesthetically, because you've got a beautiful kitchen. Well, the problem is a present, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it is a present, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is, it is, it is, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, ta, t. It's, t. It's, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. It's, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta. It's, ta. It's, ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. It's, tathink your kitchen might be a Morphy Richards Free Zone. It's, yeah, it's, you can't go Rob to Argos and get a kettle for your kitchen. What, what colour the kettle is? What colour is the kettle? I assume it's pink. It's gold. Gold, you've got gold kettle. Oh yeah. It's an expensive one. Yeah, it was some self-fridges. Oh, oh! With self-auges it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thageageageageageageageage is the thage is thage is thage. It's thage. It's thage. It's thia's thia's thia's thia's thi. It's thia's thia's thia's thia's thia's thia's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's that that that that that that that that that that that that thi that thi thi that that tell you what. It's an expensive one. Yeah. There's some self-friges. Oh. With self-frages vouchers. Yeah. Yeah. So, um. It's a fancy kettle. It's a fancy kettle. I reckon it's still under warranty, but I can't be bothered to find a thing. And I've got to find anything. Well, the future apparently is hot taps. Yeah. Well, the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the future. that's the future. that's the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. the future. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. the. thea. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. tho. theafeages. tho. the thea. the the the hot taps. Yeah, they're very expensive. Rob, let's talk about hot taps. Let's talk about hot taps.

That's what I've heard. You can be hot tap. I'm desperate for a hot tap. Okay, right. I'm absolutely gagging for a hot tap. Because that way it removes, you don't have to have, because kettles can can be can can can can can can can can can can can can be a the the the the the that can can can can can can be He felt like you're in an office. You're moving house. Are you in the hot, are you thinking about hot taps? I'll be honest with you, I think we've got a hot tap.

So Lou's been quite stressed about the house move because she's made every single decision. So like, I'll get there. I'll get there and there'll be tiles on the ground. You can remember you've either got a hot tap or a hot tub. You can't remember where she's gone with. I haven't got a hot tub at the new house. The, um, the, um, I think we've got a hot, we have got, to be confused Josh,zy tap. Oh my word, this is my dream. We've got a tap that does fizzy and still, but I think we might all, I mean all taps do

still. That is just a tap. Yeah, that's just a tap. If your tap's not doing still, you've just got pipes. If you've got pips. If you've got fizzy water coming out, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the, to to to to the the, to the the, th, I, th, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm thoom. tap, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. So, I. So, I. So, I I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I's, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I's. Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, I'm not. Oh, I'm not. tap, I'm tap, I'm tap, I'm tap, I'm tap, I'm tip. So I don't know really, because I've been going, there'll be like towels on the wall and I go, oh they're nice, do you like them? Oh yeah, and I'm like, well that's quite good actually because that's the first one I've seen that towel

and it's now glued to the wall forever. But Lou's got a much better, there would be problems. Rob, I know where I stand. I'm not getting angry that you aren't telling me anything I don't already know. Don't worry. So you've got an electric kettle that you have to hold the button down? Yeah. Right. But yeah, you can get hot taps that are always hot. Yeah, well I think they're expensive. Yeah, well I think they're expensive. Yeah well there's there's a long-term plan to do the 400 pounds. Well I think they pay for themselves they pay for themselves over time. I've just found one and it was well hang on they're in sale it was a 800 how much is these little fucking taps yeah yeah but it's a boiling water it's a thing that boils what I don't know I don't know okay you can get a kettle you can get you can get you can get you can get you can get you can get you can get you can get you can get you can get a kettle. the the the the the the the they th you can get you can get you can get you can get a the the th. Okay. Okay. Okay. I can get you can get you can get a th. I can get you can can get th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I that's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. the. the. the. the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th. I'm they're they're they're they're they're thing that boils what I don't know yeah I don't know okay you can get a kettle I mean Kelly can't you yeah okay okay anyway so that's the

least to my problems do you want the one positive it's not mine I'll just find out what she's got sorry so I don't I doubt she got the one that's a to what you're talking about what you're gonna to the told you the? I'll to the? I'm to the the the the the the the to the the the to to to the the the the the the the the they. I'm the the the the the the the the the the they. I'm the the the the the the the they. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I the one. I'll. I'm. I'm the one. I'm the one. install it. Sorry, now I'm just getting distracted. Robert, it'll have come with the people that did your kitchen. They'll have gone on a hot tap. It'll be all in the whole price only. It'll be all in the whole price. Don't worry. Right, okay. Okay.

What they'll have done is they'll have seen that price and they'lltalk about houses. I reckon I'm going to say it if you're a builder, don't give me the price before that. It means fuck all to me. I don't want to know. Because you are charging me that. You are charging me that. You are charging on that would that be alright? Don't know why I always say trellic like as if to go a bit of extra height trellis on

that bit of privacy stick of some sort of reeds like vines for it or so like some grower I'm a grower I mean all plants a grower I'm gonna clover on it mate double fence no one can see you. Anyway so you can't I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say say say say say say I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. I say say say say say say say say say say say say I tr. I say I always say I'm tr. I always say say. I say say. I'm try. I always say. I say. I say say say. I say say say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tr tr tr tr tre. I'm tre. I'm in tre. I'm in tre. I'm in tre. I'm tre. I'm in tre. I'm tre. I'm in tre. I always say it's tre. I always say it's tre. I tre. I through the fucking trellis, mate. Double fence. I'll get a sticker climber on it, mate, double fence. No one can see you. Anyway, sorry, you're kettle- Do you want the highlight of my week? Yeah, go on. So I did, you might know that I was hosting the school auction. Yes, and is it auction?

And is it auction? You've done more school events than me, but your daughters have not even been there a four year yet? No, I know I love it, Rob, I love it. Do you actually love it? Do I actually love it? That's the big question. On my week off, I would not want to host an auction at school. Rob it wasn't it wasn't on my the the the the th. It wasn't on my th. It wasn't on my th. It wasn't on my th. It wasn't on my th. It was th th th th th th th th th th th thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes. Robe. Robe. Robe. Robe. Robe. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Robes. Rob, th. Rob, thoes, thoes thoes thoes, thoes thoosose. Rob, thooooooooooooooose. Rob, thoose. Rob, thoose. Rob, thoosose. Rob, thoose. Rob, thoose. Also, by the way, thanks to everyone that come, it was amazing. Oh, it was so good, yeah. Yes, thank you. It was a genuine leave. And apologies for Josh Moonlington the night before?

Yeah. At the auction? Ah, well, do you want to see one of the items? As it was listed? I couldn't believe my eyes. school or by the parents. Yeah so people at the school have got businesses or whatever do you know I mean? This is how it was listed. Here we go. Bag yourself the car, oh this is awful. They use that picture? I had nothing to do with it Robbock. Right, bag yourself a contents bag, the ultimate family oversized tote for life made by London's social enterprise. What the fuck does that

me? Donation contents bag and pouch. Rob Beckett with his bag. This is a photo of what Lou took of me on holiday that I didn't know she was putting on the internet and it's me looking like an absolute lunatic of a bucket out on, a t-shirt that don't fit properly. And Lou wrote thou who mocked my big bag of shit. So it's me carrying a stupid leopard print bag with a shit in it and they've used it at an auction auction. It really helped it really helped Rob it shifted the it shifted the dial people were delighted. Underneath it says hospitality box a lot and it looks like I'm gonna be there as well. So they use it so Lou they used you as a model for the

all I couldn't believe my eyes I know wow that's so look that Lou is an influence in our fishing and I I asked I asked I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the they they they the they shifted I the the they shifted I shifted I shifted I shifted I shifted I shifted I shifted I shifted I shifted I shifted I shifted I they shifted I shifted I they shifted it shifted it shifted it shifted it shifted it shifted it shifted it shifted it shifted. it shifted. it shifted. it they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the they they they the they they the the they they they the they they the they the the they they the the the they the they they they the, so Lou... They used you as a model for the... I couldn't believe my eyes. I know, wow. That, so Lou is an influence on our fishing. And I asked the woman, I don't know whether, who had provided the contents bag, I said, so why's Rob Beckett got one of these bags? She said, well, Lou Beckett bought one, and she said this like the whole room reacted like Lou Beckett was like a celebrity. It was great.

Really? Yeah, it was like, well Lou Beckett bought one and there was like a, oh Lou Beckett's got one of these back. Josh, I'm worried that Lou and Rose are going to end up just, actually I'll be quite like it. They just took over and did this. I could just, you know, do all the other really really different the other like it they just took over and did this yeah firing me you know do all the other really difficult things that Lou does all day oh God what I said choosing tiles choosing tiles I was taken I was taken I was moaning about how much you can get so much in

that back and I was moaning about having to carry so much and then I end up carrying it and then she put in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti I ti I ti. I ti I ti I ti. I was ti. I was choosing I was choosing I was choosing I was choosing I was choosing I was choosing I was choosing I was choosing I was choosing I was choosing I was tie I was tie I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti I ti I ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti. choosing I was choosing I was choosing I ti then she put it on the internet and then it was an auction. I think she bought it or something. You can say auction. I say auction. Action, auction, auction. Um, it was exciting there. Yeah, that was positive. Yeah, that was positive. Yes, it was a disaster.

Go. Absolute disaster. So you might know, we booked, passport form day thing and I couldn't get in London. So you needed a passport and you couldn't get an appointment in London yeah because you're waiting your holiday in next month? It's a half term half term yeah. I'll start a few weeks away. It was all or nothing on yesterday yeah yeah. It was all or nothing on yesterday yeah yeah couldn't get London but I was, I've got the week off.

I'll just drive to Peterborough and back. I'll enjoy that. It's relaxing. A bit of time on my own. I've known people that have had to go to Belfast. Yeah, exactly. Because that's the other one that all, you can always get an appointment at the car. I had to work in the morning. I had to do some podcasting. How is the car, right? The car, it still isn't

clean, Rob, because my life is out of control. You had a week off, mate. No, I haven't. Bank Holiday Monday. Don't, right, don't get me started on the amount of fucking I'm just saying that you've had six days off. Surely within those six days you could drive your car to be cleaned by someone else? The weekend, Saturday, Sunday Monday, social, social, social, children's social. Right, right, okay. Yeah, and you've been away so you're just, you're dedicating time to the kids. Okay, I'll get it. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. t. t. to. to. Tuesday. to. Tuesday. to. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. Tuesday. Uh, I've been ill as well, Rob. That was... Oh, of course you have. Fuck it. Here, here. Here, here. But Tuesday, what was today? What was

on Tuesday? What was it on Tuesday morning? I don't know, Rob. that was on Tuesday? today. Childcare? Childcare, child care, looking after my son on Tuesday morning. Oh, was he not in school in nursery? No. And let me tell you something, Rob. Yeah. Do not, if you're choosing your days of the week for a child at nursery, this is a tip to every parent of a new child, do not choose Monday. It absolutely fs you throughout the year. Yes.

We lose so many? Mondays? Mondays and Wednesdays. So we lose we're losing three Mondays this month. Oh I thought he was in five days a week he's not. No no no we've got a child care a couple of days as well. A couple of days. Right okay right I'll get you. Yeah so do not choose Mondays. He's three fucking Mondays the bank holidays. Why the coronation could c to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to the th. th. the c. th. th. th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. Monday th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Monday. th. Monday. th. Monday. th. th. th. Monday. th. Monday. th. th. thi. Monday. M. M. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Mone. Monethis month the bank holidays. Why the coronation could have been any time? Why slot it in a month? It didn't need to May the 7th or whatever it is. Don't give a shit. So he can work to go out in his little gold carriage down the street.

Just do it in the middle of a fucking school holiday when they're off anyway. That's what everyone wants to do it in the middle of summer holidays. People who don't have kids can enjoy the bank holiday. People who do have kids are going to be looking after their kids anyway. Don't give us another bank holiday. I agree, I'm a hundred percent in on this. Yeah. And also if they did it in August it would be much better weather. Exactly. It's not like we're going, oh God, June and July without a coronated king. I couldn't give a flying F. No one likes him as much as the Queen. No one cares about, no one likes it as much as the Queen. That's the problem, isn't it? The Queen, it's so difficult following the Queen, isn't it? Exactly, she seemed nice. She did her duty.

Everyone love the Queen. He doesn't even like using a fucking fountain pen. And we're taking a Monday off, another Monday off. Another one. So you're in Peterborough at the passport office. Not yet. I'm getting in the car to go to Peter. Okay, alright. I've asked Rose to go and get me two passport forms, one for me, one for my daughter. Right. I shouldn't have. Obviously, in the week I've asked Rose to go and get me two passport forms. One for me, one for my daughter.

Right. She shouldn't have specified two. That was a mistake. She comes back with two, meaning it is absolute perilous. If I make one mistake, I'm going back to the post office. Oh right, okay. So she grabbed it from the... Is he... You still have to fill out a form from the post office? Yeah. And not... And only specific post offices have got them. Obviously I'll fuck it up. I have to go and get another passport form from the post office. to the passport. the passport. thapapapapap. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, to to to to to to to to to to tho-s. Oh, to to to to to to to go to go to go the the the to go to go the to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the the the the post the post the post the post the post the post the post the post the post. Oh, the post. Oh, the post. Oh, the post. Oh, the post. Oh, the post. Oh, their their their their their the. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, the. Oh, thoooo. Oh, thea. Oh, thooooooo. Oh, the. Oh, the the. Oh, the the the my door to Snappy Snaps. Shout out to the guys and gals at Snappy Snaps for a great photo shoot. Enjoyed that. You should have got some head shots done for your next door. Well, do you know what? It wasn't half bad. And then, so I get in the car to Peterborough.

I think I've got bags of time. It says hour and a half. It's just you. It's just, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to the the the their, th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to, to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ta. together, together, tha. th. together, thoooooooooooomorrow, too. too. together, tha. kids. I've searched it when it was wasn't much traffic. Right. So I get in the car my appointments at 330. It says 315 arrival. It's time isn't it. That's too time. That's too time. That's too time. You don't know where you're parking. Exactly. That's stressful. Okay. That's stressful. So I get it. I'm driving and I think. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the there. there. there. the there. the there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there there there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there there's there's there there there there's there that's stressful so I get in I'm driving and I think maybe I could make up a few minutes no it's ticking up if anything he gets to get to get the time down you need to drive a hundred miles an hour for that night you can't I thought you know sometimes traffic clares or something no yeah okay traffic it's ticking up. It gets to 319. By this point, it's 319, I'm shitting myself.

And then I take the wrong exit off of most why. Oh gosh. Oh God. You flat. Are you sweating? Yeah, because it hits 324? And your appointments at 3.30. So, I imagine parking is a difficult., you don't know where you're going.

Exactly. I don't know if it's in the center of Peterborough. I don't know if it's on the out... Imagine if it's in the center. Just like shitting myself, driving along, trying to keep calm, thin. There's nothing I can do. Yeah, yeah. It's noticed. Yeah, I know.

You cut it, you're either exactly on time or late. Yeah, so I'm panicking. And then I get about two miles away. I get to about, and then I'm thinking, what point if I see, because, if I see parking, or what point do I take it? Do you know what I mean? Yes, and then walk the rest. Yeah. So I get about a kilometer away, I've got nine minutes and I think I could probably run a kilometer in nine minutes. And I could see parking there. And I think I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to, I'll regret that. And so I keep driving.

I don't know why this is so engrossing. Yeah. I drive, I'm about 300 yards now from the thing, and I see a park, a car park that says... Is it in the center, is it like industrial estate? What we're dealing with? You still can't tell, but I'm on quite a busy road. It's not in the dead centre but it's certainly not on the in the suburbs. 300 yards now and I see a car park that says staff parking only. I think at this stage am I willing to just take the fine? Do you know what I mean? Yeah because that's the thing you get all worked up but actually if it means you get your pass when you get to go on holiday you can just add it into the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. I's. the the thus. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's the. the. te. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. all worked up, but actually, if it means you get your pass when you get to go on holiday, you can just add it into the idiot taxes. Exactly. The passport costs me an extra 60 pounds.

Yeah, exactly. But again, I go, fuck it, I'm going to go all in. You're an animal these age, Josh. I know. So around the corner at 3.24, and there's a multi-story across the road and I think this is fucking what a win what an absolute win yeah so I'm panicking by now but I'm thinking I can do this get into the multi-story multi-story I feel like that's more that's an extra layer of stress it is definitely an extra layer of worry you go in had to find a park a space had to lead do that get to the tick to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the they I to to they I to to to to to they I to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toye I I I I I I I'm I'm I'm toye I'm toye I'm toye I'm toye I'm toye I'm toye I'm toye I'm tttoye I'm to to to to to lead, do that get thing to lean out to get the ticket. By the time I get out of the car, it's 328.

Okay, yeah. Have you paid the parking yet? No, because you pay, I just pay when I get back in. Great stuff. That's a win. That's a win. You save yourself two minutes there. Exactly. Grab all my stuff. thi. G And I've got a run, so I run to what I presume is the passport building because it's a huge, a vicious block with a Union Jack outside. Go in, it's not the passport building. British first headquarters. Yeah, exactly. And you recognize them from the meetings.

Hey guys, is it the one next door? Cool. Run around to the passport place. Get in, puffing and panting. And the guy kind of smirks at me and says, It's fine. You could have been 15 to 20 minutes later, and we wouldn't have mined it. Oh, he's a chilled out guy.

So put all my stuff in the scanner. He sees my inhaler. And he has a bit of a laugh at other fact he said you shouldn't be running with that and I think come on mate. How do you feel about anti-asma abuse? Well now I mean at this stage because he's told me I've got 15 minutes grace I mean he's in my good books do you know I mean. Yeah but how do you feel about that in general though? It's sort of a bit discreet, it's a bit disrespectful isn't it? Like, oh, you should be running, should you little limp, Lum, and all stuff like that. Yeah, but do you know what I've made

enough, I've made enough comedy out of it myself that I'd be unfair to have a go to other people. Yeah,'s asking for something back that he wasn't allowed in his, in to take through the scanner, that they've confiscated off him. And he's brought his own fork to eat his lunch so they've confiscated off him. He's... You'd leave it, wouldn't you? Yeah, you've got to write off that fork. You can't ask me a fork back at that situation. It wasn't a particularly nice fork, just a metal fork.

Imagine. What are you going to do with that in the passport office? Yeah, exactly. If you can't have a fork in the post office, you shouldn't have a fork in the post office. They don't print the passports. You can't get a passport. You can't hold it runs, hold it runs. Give me a fucking passport. Got a fork. So I go in and I, you know, it's a bit like Argos or something, isn't it? You just sit there and wait for them to like announce your name, right? Or a jab. Yeah, I get in the jab. So I go in and I just slumped, I just slump th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th the th th and I just slump the th th th and I just slump th the th the th the th the the the the the the the the their th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I'm got, th. I'm got, th. I'm got, th. I'm th. th. I'm th. thu. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. I tap. I tap. I tap. I tap. I've tap. I get get th. I get their their. Yeah, I get the jab. So I go in and I just slump down in a completely empty waiting room. There's one other old woman and me.

The way you said that was like, you're an old woman as well. Yeah, it did sound like I was old. There's one other old woman, just us too, they're having to chat about the chase. Yeah. There's one other completely ripped. just me and him nodding at each other. So I slump down and I think... You're a good slumper as well after that you really deserve a slum. I can imagine you just like, oh. I think, you know, thank God. That'll probably call me up instantly because there's no one else here, but you know, I'll just sit down for now. Ten minutes past and I think they haven't. they haven't called me up yet, yeah. Tink thi th a a a thin a thin a thin thin thin thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' that. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thin' thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. Yeah, I'm th. Yeah, I' th. Yeah, I' th. Yeah, I' thin, I' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the. Yeah, I'm just just just to theeeeeeeea'a'a'a'a'ea'a'ea'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. Yeah, I'm th anything. All, really, the longer this lasts the better

because I'm getting back in the car to drive home after this, this is the good bit. Yeah, things cross you could drag this out to bed and bath time. Yeah, exactly, that's exactly what. Getting home about 8 o'clock. their passable, don't the passables. Um, 10 minutes past and I hear a guy shouting, I look across he goes, uh, you've got to check in?

Ah, Ah, ah, ah, ah, ha ha ha ha. So you made it into the passport office on time, yeah. But you were late because you forgot to tell him you were there. Yeah, correct. Go up, check in, go sit back down, instantly my number's cold, like literally I said. Go up to the desk, I reckon the whole thing lasts three to four minutes max, done, bangto four minutes max done bang and that's it that's it possible done leave asked to go if there's a cafe because I'll be honest I've been holding on needing the toilet the whole way haven't been able to stop I'm worried I couldn't go to the toilet before the passport thing

because obviously they shout my name at that point so the whole go to the tea and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I I th I th I th th th th th tho. I tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm the. I'm tho. I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. I I the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thee the the the the the the the the the is the is they shout my name at that point so the whole go to the cafe order a tea and I'm like can I use your toilet I think well she'll just leave the tea on the side I don't it isn't a piss I need Robb you can't have a shit old and a cup of tea no so I think I can't take my tea to the toilet for like cool but so I go to go go the the the the the to go go go go go go go go go go go go to go to go to go the to go the the to go to go to the the to to the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to. I I to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I tol. I tol. I tol. I told I told I'm told I'm to the toilet, I'm like, taste of shit afterwards because of the smell. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So I just leave it. I think she'll just make the tea and leave it though and then I'll just pick it up on the way out, yeah? Can't you have a shit then order? Order done things? It depended how much I needed the toilet, I'd go, excuse me, where are your toilets? And then if they go, you have to be a customer, I go, oh, I'm going to get something after, I just need to go now. But I understand that you almost want to be a customer before you ask.

Yeah. So then I order the tea, I go to the toilet, I think she'll just leave the tea. I take... I don't come into the cubicle, did she with it? I take quite a while, if I'm honest, you know, everything all right down there? No, no, not, not, not notable, but certainly longer than if I'd gone for a piss. Oh yeah, absolutely no one's shitting quicker. If you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're, if, you're, if you're shiting, if you're shit, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if you, if you're, if you're, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm th. th. th. thi. thi. that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm thi. And is I, you know, what got has she got on me? Are you ashamed? Oh, you don't anyone today's a shit? He has a shit. Um, anyway, come back out.

She hasn't even put the milk in yet, Rob. She's just stood there waiting for me with the tea bag. She's been there for like five minutes waiting for me to come out of my brief. So you thought you'd make it and leave it on her side and forget about it and think, oh he's not got it yet, but she's waiting to ask about milk and you're having a poo? Yeah. So it's obvious that how long you've been for as well. It's unspoken that I've been a good five minutes. That doesn't seem long but if you're holding milk for that long waiting for a man. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that. Yeah. Yeah. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.that long, waiting for a man. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I get my tea, she says, she says, did you come to get your passport?

Yeah. And then uh... No, I just love the tea here, actually. It's really nice. So that, then I go back, that's it. Getting stuck in the car on the way home, get back, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to the the to the the to the the to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, she. their, she. their, she. their, she. their, she, she, she, she, she. their, she. their, she. their, she. their, she. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. tap. tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, she's, together. She's, she's, she's, she, she's, she's, the whole round trip five, five and a half hours. Yeah quicker to get to Greece. It was an adventure. But I got my daughter her passport. I got myself a passport. You don't have to take your kid then. You can just do it without him. So you could, no, yeah, your kid doesn't have to come to the bit where you get the, um,

this is how organized Anne Rob. I know exactly how that fast track passport works. Because in my life I don't think I've ever not gone fast track. I am always having to do fast track passport. Because you left it too late. I've never in my life sent off my passport to that one which takes eight weeks. I've never had the time to do that. Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who loved the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90

calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time, tasks like Miller time. Learn more at Miller Light.C.A. Must be Legal Drinking Age. This episode is brought to you by Nisprasso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cop. Make every morning unforgettable with nesprasso. Discover a world

of possibilities. With or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more or an espresso boutique near you. How else has your week been? All good? So those things happened. Oh yeah. This was probably the lowest moment of me as a parent. My son started playing with the keys. So he's two, he's almost two. He started playing with the keys. So we lost the car key because he like takes it off the, we've got like a ledge in the hallway, which we've had to stop it in the car kake on because he can now reach the car key. Here we go, the end of the knickk. Sox. Sok. Sok. So kn. So. So. So. the end the the the th. So. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the end the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end the end the end. the end the end the end. the end. the end. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea., yeah? Go to get them in the car. He's fucking desperate to hold the car key. I'm like, fine.

This will shut him up. He can hold the car key until we get to the car, yeah? Yeah. My daughter gets in, gets in, gets in, he's still holding the car key. Put him in, shut the door, walk around to go and get go and get go and get go and get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the car, the tie, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm, the, the, the, the, the, I, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the car, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I, tap, tap, tape, tape, tape, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, tie. I'm, tie. I'm, together, I around to go and get my daughter. Yeah? What do you think happens in that time? So he's holding the car keys? He's locked the car on he. He's locked himself and my daughter in the car with me on the outside. Just hearing, is it? Your blood runs fucking cold, I'm telling you that from free mate. Oh god it's quite warm as well last week as well. Suns out. I didn't crack the window mate. So it's a bit can you tell your door to get the key. I have to shout through the

window to my daughter calmly. That's lucky. So it's so lucky she's in there if it was just him I don't know what I'd have done. So yeah because he's just too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to go God God God God to go God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God God that to go God God to go go go go go go go to go go go to to that to to to to that that to to to to to to to to that to to to that to that to the that to the the the the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to that to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to the to the to to the to the the to to the window to my daughter calmly. That's lucky. So lucky she's in there. If it was just him I don't know what I'd have done. So yeah because he's just too young to communicate that too isn't it? There's no way you can communicate, press the button. And imagine if he drops the keys and he's like strapped in. Yeah you've got a spare indoors have you. Yeah. to the the spare to the to'. to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I I I. I. I. I. I. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. their. I their. their. their. their. I their. I their. their. I their. I to to to to to to to to to in the car. Oh yeah, you park about 100 meters down the road, didn't you? Because you haven't got a parking space. Yeah. You need to move to the suburbs, make yourself a nice little drive. Yeah, I might be expect of your kids in cars all day long. Yeah, it's genuinely, luckily.

I'd get my daughter, and imagine if my daughter been strapped in at this point, because then she wouldn't have been able to reach my son. Oh, she could unclip herself, can't she? Oh, yeah, she can actually, that's a good point. I'm just trying to bring the drama up here. Sorry, yeah, I can't I can't not? Just press the little red button. So did she grab the keys off him? She disarmed the car.

She disarmed the car. I think though my daughter, my youngest might undo it and then lock it again immediately and laugh. That's the danger. That's the danger of that the danger. I think they both would have done that actually. That is the danger of that, but they'll eventually let you in. Yeah. So you got in?

Got in. All done. So that's my week. It's been an absolute roller coaster. Absolutely rugged. You seem a bit more chilled though. the threat. on my own. It's been great. Peter Brunback, listen to a podcast about Tom Hanks for three hours, it was great. It's quite a good podcast. I'd recommend it if you've listened to every one of these twice so you're ready for something else. Yeah, obviously do that first. I'll just say,

I will recommend it. It's called Dead Eyes. What did to listen to it? It's about an actor who 20 years ago, he got a small part in a th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I've thi, I' thi, I've thi, I' thi, I' thi, I'd thi, I'd the the the the to to to the to, I', I, I, I, I, I, I I I, I I I I, I I I, I I I, I I I I, I I, I I, I I' th, I' th, I' th, I' th, I' th, I' thi, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm toge, I'm toge, I'm toge, I'm toge, I'd toge, I'd thin, I'd recommend it's thin, I'd thi and he got the part and then the day before his agent rang him up and said you might not get the part because Tom Hanks has seen Tom Hanks is directing your episode and he's just seen your tape and he thinks you've got dead eyes. That's awful. Agen shouldn't have passed it on And he had to go and re-audition. Oh, but what you, how do you, how do you re-train your eyes to look that's dead? Exactly. In front of Tom Hanks, he had to re-audition. And then the day before he was going to do it, and then he went and sat in the other room and the caste agent came in and said we've decided to go in another direction. And it's like he's carried the, it's like a thing him looking back on this and asking to people what actually happened and stuff.

There's 36 episodes, I'm not sure I'm going to listen to them all, but episode 4. I'll get over it mate and just go for another audition. Well no, it's quite funny. He's not being serious about it, but episode 36 is him interviewing Tom Hanks, so I'm tempted to just skip to that one. That's quite funny, isn't it? Yeah. Um, so I was going to ask. I don't know if, if your kids go through gross, so they just eat everything, like my

daughters will eat nothing for a couple of weeks and all of a sudden, hungry inside, they're like obsessed. So my daughter's got obsessed with toast. Look how much toast she had for breakfast because she doesn't eat the crusts. I've just sent this on the WhatsApp. Blimie Nora. I reckon she had 10 slices of toast. That looks like she's got a plate of chips. She had 10, look she's five and she had 10 slices of toast. It's amazing. And basically I gave her like four slices. Just butter, a little bit of jam on the first ones, but then I've eased off the jam. I thought you can't have 10 slices. But then after the first, I've after like four slices of toast,

I was like, blight, she's hungry. Yeah. Then it got to six. I was, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the the the th. the. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. the. Just. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the was like, I think I'm gonna have to stop it, this is a bit too much. And then I thought, actually... When do you stop? When does this become bad parenting? Well, it was like a Stuart Lee joke that got funny again as it went on, you know, you makes it unfunny and it goes funny again? No, I don't know what you mean by that. I think he's in the firing line. Oh I don't mind he takes the Mickey out of comics all the time he can't I can take the Mickey out of him did he? He's had a go you and Russell Howard and of an actual comics as well. Hey!

Duh! Hey! Duh! Duh! Duh! It's great... But anyway Russell's great, you're great, Stuart Lee's great. But anyway, so I've got to six slices. I think it's all right, isn't it?

No, I meant the bit at the end where you said Russell's great, you're great. Keep the other bit in, I like the idea of creating it. That's great beef. No, the, uh, yeah. So I think I might need to stop her here, this is too much. Like, yeah, and then I thought, oh, and then I won't, fuck it, let's see how many I can get a drink. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

But let's just keep going to obsessed with to toast. that's so good. That's like fair, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, I, th. And, th. And, th. And, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th.. And, th. And, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, of it. She's just got obsessed with toas. That's so good. That's really fun. Do you think she's going to try and break her record? Like what point did you feel like she was eating for the record rather than eating for the, do you know what? I mean, like going, this is incredible. I don't think she th that she she she she you know what Rob? Yeah. If I could eat 10 slices of white toast I fucking would.

If I didn't think that would make me. It's delicious. It's like a lure pack on. If you said to me, if you eat 10 slice of white toast the worst that could happen is you get taller. I'd go count me in. Do you know what I mean? Curlier? Curlier and taller. Curlier. Cirlier. the air and curl. Curlier. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is. I th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. I. I. I. I. I. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I taller. Is it curlier? See? But yeah, the crust is curlier. Yeah, she's not getting curly air. That hair straight as a bloody die, mate. Well, it is like a wasteful not to eat the crust, isn't it, but the middle is nicer. Yeah, were you tempted to chow down on some of the crust? I think I'd try to have a nibble. I think I'd have a nib eating crust. If I'm gonna have carbs and I'm gonna have good, I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm not gonna eat the crust like a, like a dark. Yeah, I wouldn't have done it either, definitely not. Yeah. Also, Josh, I'm loving the train now.

The train's my new favorite form of transport. Oh, here it is. Francis Bourgeois for the summer change, I think, because it's nice weather as well, makes a difference. Have you done it in the last week? Yes, well, after Birmingham, I had to get the, I got the train home and I went straight to a kid's birthday party. Oh yeah, very lovely birthday party down in like seven oaks way. Lovely, lovely, it was Lou's friends growing up as kids and their kids are lovely, some lovely kids there but there was one very naughty child there Josh. Oh no.

And the parent I think knows that the child's naughty and just had their back to the child. So they couldn't see the behavior because in that way they can do the old ignorance, his bliss car, which I've seen be played a few times at a party and it was it was just rude he was spitting in the kids faces he was pushing in front of all the other kids spitting a spitting under a raspberry but it wasn't a raspberry he was spitting in their faces oh my god pushing him out the way but everyone else there was absolutely lovely she's one little boy and did you did you want to get involved did you want to do anything yeah I was teling the the the the the the the the the the the they the they the the the they the the the the the the the the th th th you th. th. th. the th. th. I was just just just just just just just just just. th. th. I was just just. I was just. I was just. Oh th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. their their their their. was just. was just. was just. was just. was just. was just. was just. was just. was just. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just just one little boy. And did you want to get involved? Did you want to do anything?

Yeah, I was selling them off. Were you? Yeah. He was spitting my kids' faith. Yeah, I just sort of feel that. I just sort of feel that. He's crossed a line. Basically, he was doing it to a lot of kids, so I was making sure that everyone was

cueing properly to go on this game. If your kids are naughty before or have been a bit misbehaved, so just if you just watch your kids and then you go and tell them off and say don't do that and it's just a bit frustrating, isn't it, when someone's not watching their kid at all. Yeah. What I do is loudly go, no, no, no, you mustn't spit in someone's face and push them.

No, that's not kind, is it, spitting in someone's face and pulling their hair. No, that's not a very nice thing to do is to not share and jump the cue and pu the cue their face that's not nice is it? At the top of my voice. Oh well you've shown them you've shown them Roe you've shown them Rob. I know but I was like if they're in their school or in a club or something I'd probably say so but I'm like yeah I probably you know probably never see him ever again when you do this podcast, loads of people listen now so. It's really difficult isn't it? I don't care. I've got an anecdote about a naughty kid but there's just too many details. I had one of the best experiences of my life this week Rob but it's not parenting related. Is that bad? One of the best experiences in your life it wasn't parenting. Yeah, is that the podcast? I'll just say. Congratulations Mr. Prim with Prima their galion, I I I I I And I went for a drink in the chairman's lounge after

the game, Rob. Did you? Is that euphemism? No, it's not. And I met some of the players. And I met one of the players and he was born in 1993, Rob. It's weird. I shouldn't really be talking to someone who was born in 1993. I felt a bit. Well, that the thing with footballers, if you meet footballs, they're so young. You just can't, you can't communicate. What did you talk to him about? Big Breakfast? See how far Friday? It's like late night Lyser, but for our generation. Come on, madam, come on, mate. Um, no, I just said how much I loved him and I had his shirt. They'd be given me one of his match-worn shirts and he's a 20 year old, someone else had given me one of his match worn shirts. And I was like, this is weird now because I'm now a 40 year old man going up to a 20 year

old man and saying, could you sign my shirt that you used to wear? I like this shirt because you once wore it against your body. That's weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. If it feels women's football, you'd be arrested for that. Yeah. Don't go to 20-year-old female athlete and going, oh, it's been thin. I'm a he's 20 years old, isn't it? Yeah exactly. There's no other thing in the world

where you go I'm a really big fan you can have your clothes. No exactly it's weird. It is weird. You know it's going to go to a lot of games next year? You know what it doesn't make me any more excited to go to the games because I like I co for Plymouth rather than the away games and I really hope Everton go down so we can play them because that'd be exciting. That'll be a big game. Yeah that's exciting and leads there's lots of big teams that we're they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their tho tho they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th the tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to the tho tho tho tho tho the the the th bunch of lads. Good luck to them all. Hope they have a great summer. Where are you going to go I-Bafel with them with all the 20-year-olds on Ocean Beach?

Too bloody right. Your mom hates it when you leave six half-full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. 65 plus glasses for just 999. So go ahead, you can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Oh, I've got a couple other things to run through, bad parenting wise. I've introduced my kids to the song,

Willie Bumbum song. Have you heard this song? No, of course not, Rob, because I'm 40. I'll play a little bit of it, but it's a bit of fun, but it's actually quite rude and it's I play 30 seconds of it. They memorized everything. Oh, hang on. Here it is. Robb, I'm a wily old friend. Rob, that will have played this to your children. Why do you know this song? What's going on? Robbush, show me it. It's funny, Willie Bum, Willie Bum.

It's silly, but there's like, put a little Willie sti in my bum. I didn't know it said that line. Yeah, Rob, that's the first line. I know know so. Stick it in my bum. Rob you. Rob. I don't want to be too you've played your five and seven year old daughter a song about anal sex. Yeah when you put it like that it don't look great is it? But yeah so but no but then we've said we can't sing it anymore, you're not not allowed to listen to it anymore, but I didn't realize, I just sort of didn't, I don't really think and they just know it all now.

It's really bad. And then Lou played them, the baby got back. I like big, and he goes, one of the line, left side of it's long and I'm strong, I'm trying to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to really bad actually. I'm laughing but it is quite bad. Yeah. You know it's a bit of fun isn't it? There's an episode of Friends isn't there where he sings I like Big Butts and I cannot lie to his baby daughter and it makes a laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. So that yeah but the Willie Bumb I'm so. The Willie Bum songs a bit too much really but yeah never mind. Well Sam my daughter wants to grow a hair, so we had the hairdresser come around and she asked a hairdresser for longer hair? How do you want it? She wants it, she wants it longer. And then she's unbelievable,

Ruby who cuts their hair. Without missing a beat, was like, yes, we can do that. But I'll tell you what, I'll give it a little trim to make it stronger and then I'll curl it and it will look much longer. That's good. Yeah, so and it did look longer and bigger to be fair so she was buzzing. But yeah, she asked for longer hair which made us laugh. My friend when he was, when we were teenagers, we used to go to a barber's called Brimson's, which is still there in Newton Abbot. I th is still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still their their their their, which, which is still, which is still, which is still, which is still, which is still, which is still, which is still still still still still still still still still still still still, and th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and th. th, and, and, and, and, and, and th, and th. th. th. And, and, and th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi, and, and, and, and, th't know whether they still got it. It's not very, it's not very, uh, 2023, but it's very exciting, Rob for a teenage boy because they used to have, um, topless calendars of women on the wall. Hmm, yeah.

Lovely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. atmosphere. Anyway, my friend who was about 14 turned up with a picture of James Hepfield, the lead singer of Metallica, and said, could I have my hair like James Hepfield from Metallica? And they said no because he's going bald and James

Heffield's got like a receding hairline. And my friend was like, that's the style I want. I want the receding hairl like James Harold Redale. So, you know, what are the weirdest requests you've given your hair dress? A longer hair? I want to be bald. Let us know. Just do the sides is what a lot of bald means though. Just do the sides. Just do the sides. Just do the sides. Just do the sides. The classic Harry Hill joke. Did you find it took longer to watch to to, I think that more or less is enough of us blathering on in support of ourselves

and we should move on to small businesses. Is that fair? Yes, let's let's do that. Go on. Do you want to go first? You got one? Do you know what Robb? Rather than to say stop? to one. Stop. Hi Rob and Josh, I don't know what this is by the way, so we'll see what happens. I love listening to your podcast and your live show at the O2 was great. I was

hoping you could do a small business shout-up for my dad. He runs a removal company that has been passed down through generations. However, we're a very small business that relies on word of mouth mainly, with the housing market being so up and down at the moment, work, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I'm thi, and I'm thi, I thi, and I'm thi, and I'm that, and I'm that, and I'm that, and I'm, and I's, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's the the the the the the the the the thi. And, the toe. And, toe. And, the the the the toe. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th up and down at the moment, work can be unpredictable. He works so hard and has done his whole life. We've got a good one here, haven't we? I've been helping out with his social media recently, thought I would email you guys. Did you hear my stomach go? No, that was my stomach. Like it didn't come, you know when your stomach grumbles?

I've not helping out with this taste. I probably could have worked that out myself, don't we? My tummy drumming why, I just had a massive buffet. I've been helping out with its social media recently thought. I'd email you guys for a small business shoutout. Bracknell is the place. So, you're talking Redding, you're talking Didcot. Ascot. Ascot.

We are called Green removals based in Bracknell. Instagram is at Greens, oh sorry, Greens removals, greens as in more than one green. And the website is greens removals.co. And she's put in brackets, yes it is.co. There is no missing com or co.uk. Oh, there are you. Fairmore co. UK. Wow fair enough greens removals thank you keeping sex in relatable Alina. Alina. Now I've got one here here he go. Hi Josh and Rob firstly can I say I love the recent episode where Josh

discuss an update on his mental health issues very relatable to myself who went through similar things to Josh and took the plunge about 18 months ago to help and take medication. During this time of getting my life back together I've decided to start a new business called collectible junkie selling Panini you need to you need to bring that dose slightly down if you're if you're buzzing that much yeah if you're taking your searchlene off a heated spoon it's too much. Keep it on tablet form guys as directed by your doctor. Now is it okay to laugh about? I started it. It's fine I started it. During at this time I've getting my life back together I decided to start a new business called

collectible junkie selling or we'll like this Josh Panini and top stickers and trading cards so people could complete their collections their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tablet. Keep table. Keep tablet. Keep tablet. Keep tablet tablet tablet. Keep tablet. Keep tablet. Keep tablet tablet tablet tablet. Keep tablet. Keep tablet. Keep tablet. Keep tablet. keep tablet tablet tab. keep. keep. keep tab. keep tab. keep tab. keep tab. keep tab. keep tab. keep tab. keep tablet. I. I. I table. Keep table. Keep tablet. Keep table. Keep table. Keep table. Keep table. Keep it. Keep it. Keep it. Keep it. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. Keeps. I. like this Josh, Panini and top stickers and trading cards so people can complete their collections. Stock is I actually need this is actually I actually need this guy. Stock is updated daily and eventually as the business grows I hope to have a good selection ranging from current collections to collections from the last 30 years. I know Josh loves the 90s football sticker albums this one's for him. I do too mate. He's definitely got his favorite isn't he on Mark Clements here. Absolutely loves Josh Ridicum. Please head over to W.W.W.W.W. Yeah we're in the old antidepressants gang mate. We bloody love

each other. Collectible dash. Collectable. the best and keep up the fantastic podcast mark Clements. There you go. the. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. the the the the the. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the the the the the the t. He's definitely. He's definitely. He's definitely. He's definitely. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the all the best and keep up the fantastic podcast Mark Clements. There you go, small business. Great work. See you Friday, mate. I look forward to it. All right, mate. See you then, but I'm mine. That was weird, isn't it?

You went Ozzy for no reason. See you Friday. Bye.