Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP38: Omid Djalili

Episode Date: May 19, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian and actor - Omid Djalili Omid's podcast 'Please Tell Me A Story' is available now here Parenting Hell is available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Well, I think it. And can you say Josh Whitacom? Jerry Codd. Good boy. There we go. Is that North America? That is the Dublin. Oh, I'm gonna give up this game.

They didn't my ears work. Sending an intro from my son James, who's two. James is a proud big brother to Tom and your show has gotten me through many night feeds with both babies as well as a lot of long walks with James when he would only nap in a moving buggy. Oh, those poor parents. Oh. I used to, have you ever driven a baby around to get to sleep?

I've done that a few times. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th................ tho, tho, tho, tho, tho'. tho. Oh, thooo'. Oh, thoo'. thoooo'. thoooo'. tha'n't, thooo'n't, tha, th've done that a few times. Oh my God. Because it gets to a point where like no one's sleeping in the house. I just said to Lou, go asleep. I will happily just drive for an hour with a podcast on. Just drive around the streets of London. What's your route in that situation? Well, what's difficult is that why I would do is go down to the M25 and do a couple of junctions because a lap. the the the the the the the their th of their th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to lack of London. Do a fall over the bridge. No, but I'd, um, on the slow, because where I live, there's like slower roads and those are traffic lights and then that's speed bumps, but if you go the other way towards the M25, you can get like longer, faster roads and you can cruise at around 60 on the motorway and then in the slow lane and then the baby will go sleep. Yeah, and then I'd come back and park on the drive, but then you can, since I turn the engine off, yeah. What are we talking about? I've got a driving problem, Rob.

Oh, have you? Yeah, so we're going to the southwest this weekend. We're going to Carmel this weekend. Lovely. Oh, because you've got a bit a bit a the time time a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a tomom. thia thiol. thiolomea th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tha tha tha tha tha. tha. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha tha. time off at the moment haven't you? Well, ish. To give you an idea, two weeks in, Friday last week, I've got about six weeks off. Obviously I'm doing stuff like this and doing various things. Friday of week two was the first day I had to do anything. Had to be more. So when you say you've got six weeks off, basically when we say we've got six weeks off, We're still doing podcast and stuff but no big filming or tall. And then there's been two bank holidays, childcare fell through a couple of days, various things have happened leading to Friday. I don't think we should call time off when we're not filming a television show or doing an arena tour because we still work to be done. There's still work to be done. I've got meetings tomorrow, right. Anyway, sorry. So so so so. So, so we the the so we the so we the so we they's. So we the so we the so we they's. So we're. So we're the so we're the so we're the so we're the the the the the the th. So we're th. So we're there's there's there's th. So we're th. So we're going there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's. So. So. So. there's there's there's there's there's. So. So. So. there's. there's. there's. th. there's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. there's there's there's there's there's there's there't it? They're still work to be done. I've got meetings tomorrow, etc. Right. Anyway. So I'm going down to Cornwall and then Blurr I've got their four

warm up dates in small venues. Oh brilliant, where are they doing them? Yeah. Cold chest stuff which I can't go to because I'm in Cornwall and then they're doing Eastbourne on Sunday. Oh lovely. You're working right. to. their. their. Oh. their. Oh. Oh. their. Oh. their. Oh. their. Oh. Oh. their. Oh. Oh. their. Oh. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. their. their. they's. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they's. their. their. their. they's. they's. their. their. they's. they's. their. they're. they're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their to. they're going. they're going. they're going. they're going. was. Every day. I'm working every day, yeah. Every day. So we've got, I was like, well we're coming back from Cornwall that day. Maybe we could just go to Eastbourne and then we've got two spare tickets, get people who can drive. Does Rose want to go? So you're going to drive back from Cornwall on Sunday, don't know. We're getting the train back. We get the train down to Cornwall. So you get train from Cornwall back to London? How long is that's no? Cornwall to Eastbourne's direct

Do you know how long it takes? Is it? No, no, it's not direct, but I mean we're not going to go? Right. Okay. Cormor to Redding. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to East. to East. to East. to East. Come to East. Cornwoml. Cornwomlain. Corne. Corne. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. to East. to East. to East. to East. to East. to East. to East. to East. to East. to East. C. Corma. Corma. Corma. Corma. Corma. C. C. Are you going with the kids? No. Oh you're not sorry you're going you're going away. This is this has been a terrible story. It's the worst stuff. You've not been clear enough. I'm not listening. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, long story short, I've got a train that's over eight hours. So you're right. So what you're doing is someone's got on. the the the the the the the th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. that's going. that's going. that's going. that's going. that's going. that's going. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. to to to. to. to to try. to. try. try. try. try. try. train for eight hours to Eastbourne. Oh that'll be fun do it. Do you think? And then I've got to find two people that can drive to help to get us home. Oh because you're never gonna get a train back. No, what a life. So you basically, so you've got four tickets to East the train and you need for someone. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their and you to their and you to their and you to to their to to to their their to to their and you thrown. And you their thrown and their their their their their their thoomk. And thoomk. And thrown. And thrown. And thrown. And thrown. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And thin. And thin. And thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the. And thin. And th. And thin. And th. And th. And thin. And th East London. Yeah. I reckon I could find someone for you. No I don't want a stranger. Well that I'll know him. No I don't want someone you know. My brother Joe would do it. He's just had a kid. True. He was, yeah. So that he's gonna be livid now that there's another thing you can't go to. Yeah exactly. The blur your tell him I would have taken him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The blue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. T. Yeah. Yeah. T. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. T. T. Yeah. T. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. T. Yeah. T. Yeah. T. Yeah. Yeah. That's. That's. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll to. I'll to. I'll to. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll the the the the t. I'll t. t. t. t. tell. tell t. tell tell the the tell the the the tell the the the the the the tell. I meet you in Eastbourne that are going to drive back. Yeah, yeah. I think you'll find that. That's a great gig if you've got to do spare tickets. Eight hours on a train, it feels a lot. Who's your favorite one in the band?

Let's not go into it, Rob. Let's not go into it. to their that. to their thr lineup Rob they're back together. You're Damon there? What? Your pizza date? Damon? No, he's doing his vocal warm-ups. Yeah, of course. I would love Alex James to be on this show because he's got five kids and one's called Geronimo. Good cheese maker. Good cheese maker. He's living his best life.

I'd advise reading his book if you want to thiand, a million pounds on cocaine and champagne in his day. What, who keeps receipts for that? He's trying to slip that, yeah, another bag of coats. I'm saying that's cool. It's not cool. He, for a period, that's not cool. That's not cool. Go on. Two bottles of champagne a day.

Oh, bloody. God. was a nightmare. No he'd eat carrots because that was good for that would de-acidify it. Well what basically I once went to when I worked for an events company went to a like an event at the St. Pancras and we went to the champagne bar and we got free champagne and yeah they didn't feed us all they gave us was these bright green sort of posh olives that I imagine you have from your deli and I drank drunk, I reckon three bottles of champagne and ate about five bowls of olives came out and I was sick and it was the frothiest greenest thing I've ever said. Oh my God! It was mental. It

looked like it sucked off the Incredible Hulk. And the price of that sick, the price of that sick. The money literally down the drain. And also that was when I had a little a Sony version of an iPod, tiny little one, that I dropped into the toilet and was sick on top of. Oh no, it's awful. That's an awful time. Don't drink kids. Drink's not good. I'm sure I've told you this. Have I ever told you about when I I am I would drunk 19 vodka red balls? That would be bad if it was just Red Bull. And it wasn't even Red Bull. It was that, because I was a student, it was that fake one called like Red Dragon or

whatever it would be called, you know, it was because it was a quid a vodka red ball at 5th Avenue in Manchester. Right, okay. And then I walked home, pissed from the bus stop at 3 a.m. Went down an alleyway to have a piss and there was like I remember there was like a empty beer bottle transparent bottle so I ended up I just aimed and pissed in the bottle as you were a bit of fun you're a laugh I was a laugh if I'm laughing even when I'm on my own he don't stop when the camera stopped no exactly I walked past it next morning on the way she can ever see and it was glowing.

Like the color of it. It was still there full of bits. It was still there and it was like a luminous yellow. Like I've never seen a color before. 19's pretty good going Josh. I was back in the day Rob when I didn't used to get hangovers I used to be able to do what I wanted. Here I am now. Oh dear I remember I used to work at 630 a.m. a supermarket when I was down in Canterbury studying and because it was a student town you'd the amount of like just like you could see all the sick on the floor where people have been sick walking

oh gosh this is a horrible. This is this is this is Jolilli, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Omid Jolilli. We do apologize, Omid, if you have listened to this intro that it wasn't ideal, but you did a great job as a guest. Yeah. So everyone enjoy this, all of them what's just happened. Right, here's Omid Jilililililililililil-I this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. Oh, th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh,illii. Very excited. Omed Jillii. Very excited. Omid, children. Talk to me.

How many have you got? How old are they? I have three children, and they are all in their 20s. Oh, all grown up. Yeah, they're older now. Does that feel like you day you're still a parent? You know, is it playing on your mind as much as it does? He's out the woods. He started a logging company.

His deforestation is going on there. That's a very good question. You know, most comics, when you have children, and I became like a paid comic when my daughter, my first child's daughter when she was about two and a half around 1997, and then I had two more kids. So I had three kids by 2000. So I was doing jonglers, I was doing all those gigs. And comics usually talk about their children. Like as you grow with that comic,

they talk about my children now three, four. Then you realize comics to it, because their children are a tax deductible commodity. And we're happy to do that because it saves us some money because it's part of our, you know, part of our job and our material. But it is very difficult. I think we should talk about that because how old are your kids? Now your kids are? Five and seven. Okay, so five and seven, Rob and Josh?

Two and five. Okay, all right. So look when I was starting out, it's very, very difficult. And I had so many experiences of coming home late, waking up early. Yeah. And actually, that's not good for you. I mean, I remember there was a journey I came back from Liverpool and I had to drive home from Liverpool because there was something I had to do at the school and I had to pick up my kid. You know, it's always, so I'm driving back. And you know, that, I that, I'm driving back, I'm driving back, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm, I'm driving, I'm, I'm driving, that, I'm driving, I'm driving, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, th. I, I, I, th. I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. thrown. I'm th. thi. th. thrown. I'm Wolverhampton there were lots of lights on the M6 and I was so tired I was hallucinating

I when I felt the reflections from the lights it had looked like there were terodactyls flying at me yeah as I'm driving along I'm slapping myself to keep myself awake and kind of going yeah slap and then I saw this terodactor on, I ducked. I ducked a few times. I've just started cooking. And then this blue light come on, and the police took me to one side. They said, sir, do you know how fast you were going?

I said, look, I'm a comic. I'm try to get home. an hour in the middle lane. Oh no. This is like mid-lane and he goes we were next to you driving for about 30 seconds and I could see it was only when you ducked. It must be I suddenly ducked. I said did you see the terodaxles as well? And they said breath let's breatheryze him so they said you're just tired and actually to give the police credit they said follow us we're going to take you to a service station. We want you to sleep. And then I slept and I've unfortunately, I slept till six and I missed the thing and everyone was upset with me. But actually you realize to be a dad, to have a family. And if you're going to have a family, you want to raise your to raise your kids well, it is really to to raise to raise to raise your to raise to to to raise your to to to to the to to to to the to to to to their. to to to to to to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six six.... to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip. tip. thaxxxxe. theaxe. thea. thea. thea. I. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I to to to to to to toxing on the body. So I remember I actually developed this problem called sleep apnea. Sleep apnea will have to sleep with a sleep machine

and you have a mask on and of course the kids would think it was funny so my young son age five would come in as I'm waking up and he'd lift the mask off my face. And of course the machine goes into overdrive you go and goes like that and he goes he goes, let's go, he goes, pshh hits my face, I go, ah! And I look back and I just keep the leg of a child running away. You know, and I think that you never got any sleep.

That was the one thing and that's, I started getting acid refluxed because I was sleeping and then I remember once coming home, then, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, I th, I th, I the the th, I th and I th and I th and I'm, I'm their, I'm their, I'm th and I'm thanked, I'm their, I'm, I'm their, I'm their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm ta, taken, taken, took, tooed, tooed, tooed, tooed, tooed, took, took, took, took, I'm, I'm, I'm, then I got home two, three in the morning and I ordered a pizza and I watched television with a pizza and my daughter came down age seven, woke me up at 6.30 and said, you're a disgrace. Because I was full receipt with my clothes. And I think BBC told you the today, there was something I was watching. And I had like pizza, I remember when she just learned the word disgrace. goes, you're a disgrace. And I said, how do you learn the word disgrace? Who taught you? Did your mom teach you that? Who taught you the word disgrace? So one thing people don't get is actually it is physically taxing. But I'm very proud that actually if you put the time in, my kids in their 20s and they're all actually doing quite and I. and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I like well and I like well I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like all like all like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like I like all I like I like all I like I like all I like I like all I like all I like I like all I like I like I like all I like all I like all I like all I like all I like all I like all I like all. I like all I like all. I like all I like all I like all I like all. I like all I like all I like all. I like all. It is a balance in life. Life is always a balance about your quality of life, your career, your family life, and

if one of them drops, all three of them drop. So I'm very proud and happy that I did spend a bit of time with my kids because I actually like them. I actually like my kids. That's a weird thing in their 20s. You're both adults, right? It's quite a good way of putting I, I like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and I, and I, and, I, and, and, and, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, thi, thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, th, all, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th......... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thro. thro. thro. thro. throo. throo. thro. throoo. throoo. thro on a kind of level with you. You're not like, oh, they're a five-year-old or, oh, they're going through the teenage years or, oh, they're, you know, dealing with this. It's like, these people are grown-ups. Would I be friends with these people? And they're going to overtake us and be in charge of us. They're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they're, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh And I have to tell you that on the one hand, I have a daughter and two boys and the two boys are now, as they were growing up, I'm

showing them pictures of myself when I was their age, and they look exactly like, I mean, it's somebody, I used to have hair and I used to be thinner and so they look at me and they're thinne, and they look at at at that at that at that at that at that at that at that, that, that, that, that, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their growing their growing up their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their growing their growing their, their growing their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoomoomoomorrow, throwne, throwne, thoooooooooomoomorrow, thoooooooooomorrow, throwne, throwne, their, their,, yeah, this is what you're going to look like. And they are so horrified. So when they used to come home and I'd be sat in my pants watching tellie with my legs up, and then come in, that goes, what you're doing? I said, I'm being you in 30 years time. This is you. And they are so horrified that they are going to look like me. And so we have that relationship but another thing I will say as they're all adults now and I listen to them because they have opinions on stand-up comedy they have opinions on like once we're in the car we just come back from driving back from the Auburn arena the St. Albans they've come the whole family come to see me and nobody said a word it was a great show and was standing of a show We got to do the outskirts of London. I said, we've been driving for half an hour.

No one said, are you going to say something? And I think my middle son, who was about 16 at the time, he said, mind out for that terodactyl. Yeah. Yeah. Anyone going to say anything? Why, the only one's seeing it. Speed up, you're going 10 miles an hour on the M25. But they said to me, they said, you know, you do a few bits that we don't particularly like

and it's a bit and it's a bit, and I said, is that a problem? And they said, well, and few times. So that's one thing I wish I hadn't spoiled them. If you go to a Michigan-style restaurant, they bring you a wonderful meal. But there's a little bit of shit on the side of the plate. Would you eat that food? I went, no, I'd take it back, clean it off. Or give me a new plate. They goes, well, well, that's how's how, that's how, they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. But, but, but, but, but. But, but. But, but. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. the whole thing and I went, oh my God, that would destroy me. It did destroy me. It destroyed me because it actually made me realize that in comedy, this is why we can

do gigs and we're having a wonderful time and there's comics, everyone's laughing, but we're always honing on the one person not enjoying it or have you had a show where you're loving a show then you do one joke, you're not a proper comic then. I know. I'm getting flashbacks of Edinburgh, that was horrible. Yeah. So you realize, actually comedy, in general, what you learn? We can't please all the people all the time and people have a right to be offended, but the fact that even my own children was saying, you could be so good, but you're not that that that to see you and we're not really proud of you and you just look like how old were they at this point? They're in their mid-teens they're old enough oh that's never ask a teenager for a feedback but you know what I brought up with them now and they stand by their comments it's interesting so was it the in general your stuff or was it more that like I was like the the th I I well, as you get older, you know, everyone's views and stuff get a bit dated because

that's just what like, you know, you don't experience new things with a younger generation are way more woke and across social change. Yes. Would it be things like that where you might use a turn of phrase that is fine but actually a little bit that's not what you use anymore or was it just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just... the material. the material. the material. the material. the material. the material. the material. the material. the material. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the material. the. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. th. th. the th. the the the th. the the the performance in general, because I think that's what your kids can help you with. And they do, yeah. Actually, that's a very good point. As they got older, they are very aware of not just woke culture, but even things that you've missed somehow. So in that sense, they were right. So I drop the joke. And they often come and watch, and they give a tip like that, which I think is very very the the the the the thip like, thip like, thip like, thip like, thip like, thip like, thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. They are thi. They are thi. They are thi. They are thi. They are th. They are th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their thi. they're thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that's that's the. the. the. the. the. the. the very, very helpful. But in general, it's interesting because they say, look, the dad we see at home is so funny, but the dad we see on stage is very different. It's like you're trying to please people and you're trying to be a Middle East and bloke in white society. Yeah. As a part of us, we're not comfortable with that. So we wish you could be more like the way you were at home. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. that is that is that is more that is more that is more, that is more, that is more, that is more that is more, that, that, that, that, the the the the the the the, the, that's the, thi, thi, thi thi, thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that we that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the that's that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. That's what pleased me. They thought I was much funnier offstage than on. And I said, well, it is an act. That's the whole point.

Yeah. Doing stand-up is an act. It's what you choose to put out. But they say, we're just not comfortable with it. So we hope that, dad, and that's, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tod. tto. tto. tto. tto. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tod, is. tod, is. the, of thing they say. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nespresso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk.

Visit Nespresso.c.c.c.c.. to learn more, or an espresso boutique near you. Your mom hates it when you leave six half-full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365-plus-plus glasses for just 999. So go ahead. You can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. But at the same time, you see, I was very lucky that I got to work with someone of the caliber of Whoopi Goldberg who then one day just turned round to me and just said, you know,

you must never stop doing stand up. I said? Because you're the first person from your background doing it. You're like the Richard Pryor of brown people. And I said, I said, what are you talking about? Because yeah, but you're also 30 years behind where the black community is. We had Richard Pryor, we had Eddie Murphy, we had a bunch of people who I suppose were trailblazers and started something off. In a sense, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. thi, their, thr, th. the, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I thi, I thi, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm. their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I said, I said, I said, I'm, I s. throwne. throwne. throwne. throwne. their, throwne. their, you're the same. So actually, you should take comedy very seriously because it's very responsible. So actually also watch your material because people are watching it very carefully. And then when I told my kids that, they went, yes, yes, that's the thing.

That's what you don't get. I don't think you get how important you are for your region of people because there had been very few people and I'll tell you a funny story and we can mention his name because it doesn't mind me mentioning him. Do you know anyone knows Smashy from South End? Do you know smashing? he used to run these comedy clubs. No smashing the 90s is to run Churchill's in Southend and he'd seen me in the 1996 and he said he goes you not my office now we'll talk to you and it was proper stuff that he goes you know what thing is back you're quite you are but your name meja jaja jaja I remember that what you need to do get yourself a photo shoot get yourself a turban pantaloons and curly toed shoes call yourself

yourself Ali Baba oh my god the Sultan of comedy you get a lot of work son and I said well oh my what I started talk about well I'm the the the the the the the the the the th th the th th th the th th th th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin thi thin thin things you things you things you things you things you things. things. things. things. things. I things. I'm things. things. I'm things. I'm things. I'm things. I'm things. I'm things. I'm things. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the th. I'm the the the the thin the thin the thin thin thin thin thin thin tho. I'm tho. I'm the tho. I'm things things things things things things. And I said, well, I'm, oh my word. And I started to talk about, well, I'm actually very inspired by a film called My Beautiful Laundrette, which was written by Hanif Karachi, who was, and he never changed his name. So I'd like to keep the name so people learn one. And he goes, now, Mike, now, now I definitely. Definitely, Ali. the. t. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. hello, what are you doing here? I said I'm doing a show. He goes, what's the show? I said, what's the show? I said, well it's actually called the Omid Jililili show and it's it's a prime time BBC one show he goes, He still started the particular narrative.

Do you think though because of the pressures of having kids where when you broke through and there was an opportunity to talk about the stuff you wanted to talk about rather and sort of just getting you know booked on stuff and making that sort of demographic laugh do you think that like maybe if you didn't have the kids in that pressure to provide, you may have been able to take a bit more like chances with what you was putting out. That's a really good question. I think the whole aspect of wanting to provide is very powerful for comics because soon you realize you're doing all these terrible pub gigs and someone sticking a tenor

in your hand saying, well that's the door split, and you think, well who those guys are the guys the guys the guys the guys th guys they they th guys th guys th guys th guys th guys th guys making th guys thi thi thi thi their thi their thus their their their their their their their their thoes, that, their, theat, theat, the. the, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their wo, their their wo, their, their, their, their, their, the. I's their, their, their thooooooooo' thoooooooo' thooooooooes. I's, thoo' theat. then you've got Dominic Holland doing brilliant jokes like they say kids change your life in my case they ruined it and it gets a big laugh and you think okay so tell you all that didn't work out from us as it did though did it but that's so funny it turned out his son's actually set him up for life so that joke has come back to buy him in the ass that's so funny it's such it the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So. So. So. So. th. So. thi. thi. thi. thin. the. the. the. the. the. the. thin. the. the. the. the. the. thin. the. the. So. So. the. come back to buy him in the ass. That's so funny. It's such a funny thing, isn't it? People don't know. His son is from Holland, who's a Spider-Man. It's unbelievable the way that's worked up. So you start realizing, actually having kids is what drives you.

And you think, OK, I've got to get funnier. I've got to get better so I can start providing. So actually I'm very grateful that I had kids early on in my stand-up career because it was always about we're doing this for the love of it, we're doing it because we love laughs and we're pretty damaged individuals and we need the laughter of strangers to validate our very existence in life, but actually the kids did help focus and did help you have more of a plan decisions about what's the right show to do and what's the wrong show. I'm just really interested because obviously we're talking about this in a comedy sense, but were your parents, I don't know when they came over, but you're from Iranian background, right?

So what was your house like growing up? Was it just for me and the listeners? Are you first generation? Yes, yeah, I've got a brother in his mid-60s, they came in 58. And so how did their parenting differ from your parenting? Because that's like the hugely different kind of cultures you've grown up in, presumably. Yeah, it's very difficult to talk about one particular culture because I'm a British-Iranian, so I'm already a bit of a minority, British Iranian. Then within the Iranian committee, I'm not a Muslim, I'm a Bahaii faith faith faith, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and their, and their, and their, and I'm their, and I'm their, and I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm nothiiiiiioluiolkiolkiolkiolkiolkiolkiolkiolkiolki, their, their, their, the Iranian community, I'm not a Muslim, I'm a Baha'i, and the Baha'i faith is very different from the way Muslims are, so I'm actually a minority within a minority, and even within the Baha'i community, my parents have seen as a bit weird. So I'm actually a minority within a minority.

So you're a hipster. Why were your parents seen as a bit weird? Because we had this guest house and we lived in a block of flats, which was a big six-bedroom flat, which then after the Iranian revolution of 1979, a lot of Iranians used to come over to get medical help, and they were come and stay with us, because it was more homely and it was cheap. So I was raised in a guest house where there was no differentiation between the work life and the family life. So we were all just together. The house was filled with Iranian men and women walking around in pajamas, the radios on, the tele-is on, this food was a buffet on all the time. It was like a kind of party, but a conference, there's always like 15, 16 people in the

house. Wow. And I saw my father using humor. He kept saying what you've got to do is make them laugh because if they laugh more, it has a palliative effect and they feel better and then they get better and they leave and we get more clients. So he'd always like your, eggs are also another word for balls. So for bollics. How would you like your bollocks? Fried scrambled or fundled. It was always jokes like that. And everyone was laughing.. So I they they they they they they they they they they they they their their they they th. So I their they their they th. So I they their th. So I they're their their their th. th. their the. the. they're they're the. the. the. the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. their theat. their tole. tole. their te. the the the the the the the the their their or fondled? It was always jokes like that and everyone was laughing. So I learned very early on that actually that upbringing was perfect for stand-up comedy

because you're always talking to people, you're always hearing stories, and you realize storytelling is the most powerful thing, especially with a punchline or especially with something funny. And even my parents used to make up jokes. I said, why is that that that that that that that that that thiiiiiiiiia, thia, thia, thia, thi, their their thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoes, thoes, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to to to toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thea. thea, thea And even my parents used to make up jokes. I remember my mother, I said, why is that funny? And she teach joke construction. She goes, you see, the way a joke works, Ahmed, is that you do a setup of something that's relatable to people.

And then you tell the story. And at the end, there's got to write your own jokes to keep with the idea of making people feel better so they leave and you get a bigger turnaround of people. Right. So you'd be like take on the company and the job and be the funny guy welcoming and all these people so they keep coming back. Yeah. To be social and to be funny and to be social and to be and to be to be social and to be social and to be social and the the the the the the they. And their their their their their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. their people. And their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. And, their people. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. And, their. So, their. So, their their. And, their their. And, their. And want to do that, my sister didn't want to do it, and I was damned if I was going to do it. But then I went to, my wife actually took me to the comedy store in 1994. So what did you do before comedy, Amid? What was your... Well, I was a struggling actor and I was doing, you know, we lived in the former Czechoslovakia as well between 1990 and 95. I was doing experimental theater for about five years. It's so crazy. And then we had children, we came back, my mother got cancer and she died, so we had to come back and look after my dad.

So it was about quickly learning this tool of stand-up comedy because you could probably do this. And it's probably the only time a partner has suggested. Partners hate their partners being stand-up comedians. It's like such a taa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-up comedians. It's like such a terrible job for it. You feel so insecure. But I was actually encouraged to do it and I used all those skills from the home life. And how different was your children's upbringing them from your upbringing? Was it vastly different? Or what did you take from your parents kind of upbringing when you were bringing up your kids?

Oh completely. Well the first thing I didn't let lots of people stay in the house because I didn't feel. I felt we should have a very private life and they all had a proper education whereas mine was a bit haphazard. And I was very much, because I was the youngest child in that milieu of people, I was left a little to my own devices. I often said to my parents, you just let me, you're quite strict with my brother and sister but with me. They said, oh, we just gave up. We don't really understand the British. Just let you go up. I used to come home at six in the morning. I used to nick my dad's car when I was 15 and drive around London. And all he'd say is, if you're going to nick the car, could you put it back in the same place?

Because when I walk around like a twiout for half a hour looking for it. with me extremely laid back and I never forget my on her deathbed my mom just had said you a very easy child and you know we just trusted you all right and we left you to God and I'm so glad that you've got a career now and as long as you not upset with me I said no it was like wonderful to do what I like because yeah I probably should have disciplined you more but I just trusted you and it was all fine so it was a very lax kind of upbringing when in fact the Baha'i community is very strong on upbringing and children and education of children, but for some reason I think they just were so beaten down by all these people, they didn't bother with me. But yeah, it was very different.

So my kid's upbringing was very controlled and make sure they're always dressed well. I mean once I remember my parents had a note saying we've noticed Amid has been wearing the same clothes for the whole academic year. Does he have any other clothes? Because I just like this blue pole neck top and the teacher said you've worn that every day for the first two terms I said I like it so they sent my parents things is does he actually wash does he you know because I don't think I bothered didn't brush my teeth or anything so to the tolary. to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe didn't toe didn't toe didn't toe didn't toe didn't toe. toe. Did tolde didn't toe. I didn't to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to toe. I I I I I I I I their toldlde. I tip. I tip. I tip. I'm tip. I'm tip. I didn't tip. I didn't tip. I didn't tip. I didn't tip. I didn't tip. tip. I didn't. toda. I didn't didn't tolde. I didn't do anything. And then my parents felt so ashamed because we just taken an eye off the board was so sorry. Then I started having to brush my teeth when I was nine. And I started wearing different clothes.

I thought I could wear the same clothes. What are you doing? You're like Steve Jobs, you're ahead of time. You know how Steve Jobs were the same outfit. Exactly. Are you quite strict with your kids now then? Will you strict with them with schooling and stuff like if they'd nick your car and driven it around London? I would have no way that would have happened. I was very lucky. There was a bit like good cop, bad cop, raised my wife was a really strong with the kids and and I was there but you know also as a comic you're away away a lot of time. How much were you away for then because your career was really the their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How that's thi. How that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's way. that's way. that's way. that's way. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I I. th. that's th. I th. I th. I was th. I was the the the their the their their th. I's their th. I's thoooooooooo. I was. I was hitting off and getting mega films, stuff you just cannot say no to.

Yes. They must have been at a young age where that's when you want to spend time with them. Theenzyme the most. Did you find yourself away a lot there? Yes, there was one year and a lot there at all. I did the sitcom with Whooppyguburg in New York and they stayed in London because because. They their. they they didn't their. they didn't they didn't their. they they didn't their. they they thi. thi. they th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. they stayed they stayed thi. they thi. thi. thi. they they they they they they they they thi they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. thi. thi. thi must must must thi must thi must thi must thi must thi must thi must thi must thi. thi. thi. they must they must they must they they immediately I did three films on the trot. So about a year and four months. I was pretty much away coming home the odd weekend. And what was that like? Not good at all. I don't think it's good for family life. I think the most important thing is that you're there for your kids that you spend time with them.

How did you stay in t work? Like how does it work? Phone call once every few days. His daddy on the phone, but it was like, daddy on the phone's not that important, so it wasn't really like, hello, everyone good. And it disrupts the family dynamic and all the schedule. So I just used to come home and try and spend three or four days at home and just so they listen to me. But no it's not good. How did you overcompensate? How was you overcompensating? Would you be like trying to do like mad toy shop trips and days out and then go off again for a

try and then go off again for a few months or usually try to to try and play some music and I come and dance in my pants they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to over to over to over to over over to over to over to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their to their to over too too their their their too. their try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try to be the entertaining dad. Yeah. So they wouldn't hate me kind of thing. So they did think I was very funny. But also I did try and get involved. I remember Rob Bryden. He had his kids at the same school. So we used to, we were both very, very busy and we often, I talk about it. We drop our kids off and go're like sports day we got to be there at sports day. Yeah. And my kids were so embarrassed because there was the father's race. And I was doing joke kind of like groin stretches and things but we were clearly the least fit. So as 20 dads ran off.

I just looked at him I said we can steal this. So as I got up he'd pull me back and he'd get up I pull him back and it all became about us and all the other parents are just shitting my kids are so embarrassing you're supposed to be here for us but you made it all about you and I said yeah was it funny it was funny it was funny oh it was funny you're a good football aren't you omit yes I've just've just retired from playing football. I've just put out a little video. So I've stopped playing, but I did enjoy it. I think football was also, I will say to anyone who's raising kids, playing Sunday football was the one thing I appreciated where I just switched off from everything and for nine minutes I thought of literally nothing but football and that's very healthy. So if you have any kind of sport thing you do as a parent, I really really recommend it. Yeah, exercise every week and you can switch off and stuff. Did your kids

get into football? You're a big Chelsea fan. Did you take them and is that a bond you've still got? Because a lot of people say that going to football is a good family connection that you can to do as they get older. Yeah, especially with my middle child. My middle child. the the their their their child child their thi child thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. te. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too too too too too too too too too too too t Chelsea fan and we were a season ticket holders. I go with him when I can. My middle child was probably the more talented footballer and then he kept scoring these worldies in the last minute for his school football team where they got to what's called the S for Cup final which is the English schools final and they won it in the game was a game at redding and the winning goal was schooled....... And the the the the the the the the their. I I I I. I. I. I. I was a th. I was a th. I was a football is a football is a football is a football is a football is a football is a football. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. And the. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the more th. And the more the more the more th. And he he he he he. And he was a more thi. And he was a more. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. And the goal was schooled with an overhead kick. And then my son, age 16, suddenly announced his retirement. I think as I'm announcing my retirement, what are you talking about? You're a school football.

You know, I've achieved everything I want now and I'm not going to do that. I'm going to actually retired. Oh, wow. Yeah, he's kicked touch line dads. Yeah, I'm afraid. Oh, I'm made. The whole discussion started because of me, something I did with my...

How did you do? Oh, God, this was... You should never do. This is really not good. And he was playing in a league. And the tolain, the to play, to play, to play, to play, told, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they. they. Oh, they. Oh, their, their, their, their, their, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the whole, the whole, to. Oh, told. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, they. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, the. Oh, the the the the the the the the playing for Barnes next to it and Barnes were playing East just a big local derby and they had this American woman who was the manager very nice woman but she never really trained them she just said okay everyone half-time let's get those oranges around and let's switch it up let's bring on substitutes and they were a good team talk so they'd they'd always get beat but they were quite good and so for the big game I said to to the the the their I their they were they were they were they were they were they were they were. I was they were. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were they were. they were they were. they were they were they were they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were. they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were.. I was. I was they were they were. I was. I was. I was. I was they were. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was they were. I was. I was. I was. I was a they were they were they were the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were quite good. And so for the big game, I said to my son, look, do you want me to give a team talk?

He goes, I don't think that's not right. She's a woman, it's not right for your dad. I said, well, you give me the sign. You give me a sign and I'll say, so they're um, excuse me, do you mind if I have a quick work with the lads? Sure. Sure, go ahead. Oh, God.

I said, right, guys, come in here. I said, you've got to get in hard from the kickoff, get the ball out to Sam. Sam's quick. You'll flood the area. And I said to my son, I said, you got let let let let let let let him let him let him let him let him let him let him let him him him let him him him him him him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, th. He th. He th. He th. He to him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him, let him know you're there. He's getting past you. So let him know you're there. Be strong in the first tackle. So they kicked off, score immediately. Because I lose in two one. I was going, come on, Dads, just get one more. Kick off again, immediately get the ball. Score a second go. I said, you can't don't this. People said, did you calm down. I said, They're going to win this. I this this. I this. I this. I this. I. this. this. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to win. I. I. I. I. I said, to win. I said, the the the the the the the the the the the they. I said, because. I said, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because. They're. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. They're going. to win. to win. to win. the to. the the the the the to. the they're going, to. to. to. I said, to, the to, to go, to. I'll going, to. I'll going, the the the the the the there was the slide tackle went in and my son takes this boy out and he doesn't get up. And I said, nice one, show me a there like that. The kid doesn't get up and the referee is looking back at me and this parent says he's broken

his leg. Happy now? And I said, what's going on? And my son's crying, everyone's crying. I said, what's happening? I said, what's happening? thrown. And I'm. And I'm. And I'm. And I'm. the the the the the the their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I'm. And I said, I'm. And I'm. And I'm. And I'm. And I'm. And I'm. And I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm. And, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I said, I'm, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, Ithat. So I just walked away. So I'm walking away. And there's an ambulance coming on the field. And my wife's coming back. Because what's going? I said, I just turn back and walk. Just don't say, don't say, just don't say, they went back. No, but you didn't know that he'd hurt his he was on the side saying, get in.

No, but you didn't know that it hurt his leg when you said good tackle. It was just overdid it. I was just I was showing passionate and enthusiasm, which is what was missing. And it actually got the players fed up. But they still say it was the best team talk they've ever had. I'm very happy. I'm very happy I'm very happy about that. the. I'm very. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy about. I'm very happy. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy about. I'm very happy about. I'm very happy about. I'm very happy about. I'm very happy about. I'm very happy about. I'm very happy about that. I'm very happy about. I'm. I'm very happy about. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. I'm very it was okay to do the team. I thought you were going to say, he said no, but you just bowled in and did a team tour. But I would have done it anyway. I think, you know, obviously it's terrible that boy hurt his leg and stuff like that. But you know, I played football, the comedian's football. And it was a strong tackle. It wasn't a unfair tackle, and I snapped all my ligaments and was in a cast for like six months.

So it does happen at football. Yeah. When you're playing with someone as tough and rough and tumble as Andy's oldsmans, it's difficult. Right. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. new classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The Ford government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait

another year. If the Ford government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit MX. to Business Platinum. Let's talk you about your podcast. Please tell me a story, which is a great concept. I wasn't aware of this. Yes.

This is a great concept, Dominic. So, well, it's better if you explain the concept than me because it's your podcast. It would be very rude to get you on, interview you and not let's tell us the the way it works, it's about the evolution of storytelling. So someone tells a story, which you tell to one comic, who then, then I, then if I tell a story to you, then I'll leave, then you tell the story to Rob. Then you leave, then Rob would tell the story to Ivor Dambina, then Rob leaves. And at the end, after five goes, the last th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th, th, th, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I th, if I, if I tell, if I'll, if I'll, if I'll, if I'll, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the story, I the story, I the story, I the story, I the story, I tell, I tell, I'll, tell, tell, I tell I tell I tell I tell I tell I tell I tell I tell tell, tell, if I'll, if I'll comics, start off with something good, good middle bit, interesting, and a great ending to a story. So you'd think, that's why we're comedians. Yeah. I'm sure Rob, if I told you a joke now,

you'd le'lap and then you could probably tell that joke back, because you would understand what the joke is. A lot of people, this, they're looking at you and then their eyes just looked to one side, you know, no, they're thinking about dinner that night or something, for a moment they've lost concentration. Yeah, I've done enough podcast with Rob. We both know the look in each other's eyes. Yeah, exactly. I never listened to anything more than when someone was telling me a joke. And in fact, I'm very lucky that because I've done that radio show, that, that, that, that, that, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, the radio, their, they've they've they've they've they've they've they've their, they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've, they've they've they've, they've, they've they've, they've they've, they've they've, they've they've, they've they've, they've they're, they're, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the phone list where Barry Cryer would ring you up and just tell a joke because he believed that joke telling was very important and he goes comedy keeps your brain sharp, keeps your heart young and we've got to keep telling jokes to each other. And they'll put these guys in the

80s are still telling jokes. So I get Barry Cryer ring me up and I'd listen intently and I could tell that joke back straight away to someone. th someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone I that's thape. I thomeomeomeomeomeomeomeome. I that I that I that I that I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I can't the. I could can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I can't the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee keeps to ce keeps to ce keeps to someone. And I think that's the process they have for comics. So, but here when you're working with comics who maybe are a bit self-obsessed or comics who are worried about their own story. That's all of them, isn't it? But it is amazing where you'd think comics would tell a story back. I told a story when I told about itthere. So there was a guy in the first series Kai Samra. I talked about my uncle Ezzat. And then I think the next one down, it goes, his uncle Dave. This Iranian name just one became Dave.

So it's amazing how information gets lost. So the podcast is about fake news, it's about embellishments, it's about what is entertaining. Can you make an entertaining story better? Usually not. But the really good stories you find come back to you shaved down. Yeah. But there were some stories which are just very complicated, came back as completely different. So it is actually a very interesting and fascinating look at the way stories get filtered down. And is each episode a different telling of the story or they're all in one? No, no, each series is one person telling a story and then you hear everyone telling that same story and it's absolutely fascinating because if people listen to it goes,

no, no! Is that the most important bit? You know, people shouting. So it's actually teaching people about storytelling which I think is fascinating. Brilliant please tell me a story yes and it's we should say this is available on all good podcast outlets such a Spotify. Do your children listen to the podcast omit? No actually my youngest did yeah he doesn't the very first one and he thought it was really funny yeah because I'll tell you what it is really, because it's very chaotic in the second series, there was a review saying it's brilliantly and gloriously chaotic, chaotic because we're all shouting at each other. Because at the end we come back and talk about what happened. And that is the most chaotic bit of podcasting. We have six comics arguing, their thoats. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. And they it it it it it it it it it all it all it all it all it all it children, because obviously you're so passionate about storytelling, jokes,

comedy and this has come from your parents, you know, arguably they've instilled that in you. Have any of your children taken this on with them, like in their careers? Well, one thing I will say, storytelling is a big part of their lives and they always say, oh we really miss you reading Asterix books to us because I do I do all the I would do all the voices and but actually they've all gone into like my middle son who loved Asterix he's now a film director he's 27 I have my daughter who's 30 now she's a film editor she edits films and my youngest son is a musician and an actor so they've all gone into the business in one sense because they're love of it and they're

all at the beginning of their careers. So yes, I think they're doing all right. Yeah. It's exciting. That must be so exciting. It is exciting because we do have differences of opinions. their opinions. But we also share the same love, than the guest house world. And it's not just that I now realize that on my father's side they were all traveling poets.

They were all poets in around the turn of the 19th, sorry, 20th century between 1899 and 1910 there are a group of poets. It would be like five comics going on the road. Yeah. and just literally pitching up somewhere, they put a tent out, they give out a couple of leaflets, there'll be a performance here of just poetry, poetry and comedy and storytelling. So that's what they used to do. That was my great, great, great, great grandfather used to do that. So it's in the blood as well. Do you know what, your podcast all comes around to type up at the end and you've done it for us th. And you've th. And you've th. And you've th. And you've th. You've th. You've th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th the th th the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the their, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, thooooooo-coa', thooo-a'er's poetry, thoo-coa'er's their, their, their, their, always end with the same question. Last question, Omid. It's basically, so what is the one thing that your partner does, parenting wires, that does or used to drive you mad? And if they listened back, they'd go, yeah, fair enough, actually, he's got a point.

And then what is the one thing she does where you go, she's so amazing and incredible. I'm so lucky so lucky so lucky to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have to have the to have the to have to have the the thuxxxxxxxxxxxy. I'm so lucky thi. I'm so lucky to have to have to have to have the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the take the last question first because it was the eternal patience where you just want to grab a kid and say, you're fucking kidding me? When are you going to do this? And she was always very loving and like, I understand why you do this, but you know we don't really do that and it was just the eternal patience where I was never patient. I just used to, and I don't think it's right. I used to scream and shout and get pissed off and say things. Because you always feel I'm thick-skinned and I'm a comic and I deal with truth and honesty

straight away. But I don't think with little children you should do that. Omid, that was brilliant. Thank you. Omid Jolilli. Cheers Omid. Thank you guys. Omid Jolili. There we go. I love him. Such a good bloke. Lovely bloke. If I do sports day, I'm keeping my head down. I'm not making a scene wrong.

That was mad. But I do think that's an old, unolder comic generation thing like that. The mad nauties of just like, yeah, go and do that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. that that that that that thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thioliern't thi. Thank, thi. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, thi. Thank, thi. Thank, thi. Thank, thi. Thank, thi. Thank, thi. Thank, thi. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. Thank. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, an older comic generation thing like that. The mad nauties of just like, yeah, go and do that. Well, I just, I don't know. Whereas me and you are like, I'm going to turn up Sports Day, and I don't want anyone to reference that I'm a comedian at any point. I'm just going to keep my head down, thank you very much. Yeah, I don't know if I could do that. That would be remarkable. If someone punched me at Sports Day, I'd just leave. If someone rugby tackled me. If you're listening, anyone that's kids go to Josh's school, smack him and he'll go home.

And now I've got fucking grass stains on my jeans. Thank you very much. Right. See you Tuesday, Josh. Politics, sport, climate change, culture wars. I'm Jack Dee. And I'm Sean Walsh. These are just some of the things we won't be talking about in our podcast, Oh my dog. Not that we couldn't if we wanted to. Of course, of course we could. Obviously, we're both well known for our scaving satire and social commentary, but we've decided

to set that aside to talk about our favourite subject. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Do dogs. Do dogs. Do dogs. Do dogs. Do dogs, to to to to to to to to to to to, th, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. theea. thea. thea. thea. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi that aside to talk about our favorite subject. Dogs. Do you let your dogs kiss you on the face? Tiggi and Molly will nibble you to your lube. Oh Jack likes that. Jack likes that. I mean from Dolly. Sorry, that sounded like Jack likes me doing that. Old French Bulldog, Professor Snowball.

If he can't see us in the house, you'll hear this horrible noise. Oh, ah! There was once, when Jay and I, we locked the bedroom door, we thought there was a man in the house. As we heard him shout, no! Give me one second, Grace? It's Mildred's chipped. Oh, yeah, no, of course she is. You know, she is chipped. Sorry. you'd be good if Grace could do the program because it seems to know more about what's going on. Join us on our podcast oh my dog. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and follow us on Instagram at OMD pod.