Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP39: Hashbrowning

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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beer. Your game time tasks like Miller time. Learn more at Miller Light.CA. Must be Legal Drinking Age. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year.

If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools.C. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Milma? Can you say Rob Beckett? Can you say Josh Beckett? Rob Beckett? Hmm. Can you say Josh Whittigum? Very good. I like that guy.

There we go. That was a kind of chilled out one, wouldn't it? Yeah, I felt like even might have been like Latino. He's from Norway, Rob. Fuck. That's better. There we go. That'll do. This is Vilma. She's six years old, saying her names as best she can. Be kind as she's just started learning English.

The chewing in the background is a two-year-old brother munching away on his breakfast. Rob, a thousand bonus points if he manages to locate our accent already failed. Oh, that was a fat. I'm tired. Let me off. We're from Son, Norway, a village 30 minutes from Oslo. Thank you guys for always being relatable and funny. You guys have changed my entire outlook on parenting. That is seriously worrying. Oh gosh. What did he used to do? Yeah, that is bad. Keep up the good work and never ever stop. All right. Best regards Jean Andre. Wow, Jean Andrei. Do you know why I think I got his accent wrong? One of my best friends' husband is Brazilian

and he's, I thought... Worst excuse ever? No, let me finish. His accent is quite unique and I thought, oh, that's what Brazilians sound like when they learn English, you know, Oh, right. But I think he's just got a bit of a strange accent.

Should we just do it again and see if he sounds Brazilian? Well no he doesn't he said no no he doesn't sound Brazilian but he sounds like my friend's husband who is Brazilian but I don't think he sounds like a Brazilian anyway but yeah thanks for that was his name John Andre? John Andre. 12 hours ago you were hosting the Baftas, Rob. I was... Tell me about the Baftas. Tell me about the Baftas. That's what we're here for. And I've got an insane story to follow the Baftas that is disgusting.

Okay, well I have never been more tired or dehydrated and hung over in my life because it's a long old day the Baftas, because the ceremony is about three hours long. Yeah. You have to do a dress rehearsal of it earlier in the day. So I got picked up at 8 a.m. Which is not that early but it's a long old day. In your suit you have to do it. No, so I got 8 a.m. I'm in my comfortable clothes and we go in, we run through the monologue at the top and rewriv-and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the go through about a thousand people because it's live, it's on the BBC and... Was it live? It's done live and they, it's a bit on an hour delay. Oh right, yeah. They edit it as they go because it's a three hour. Yeah, it's only two hours, yeah.

It's only two hours. So they cut out the fucking pointless awards, right. I've not been eating properly this week to try fit in my suit. So I've been like off carbs. So I'm a bit hazy, like a bit woozy. And anyway, we did it and then we rehearsed a whole show for three hours, dress rehearsal in my suit, stood up, doing it as we would do it later on. Then we went straight to the red carpet, which is an intense experience anyway. It's not so people shouting and we're on there for ages and it was red art yesterday for the Bafters so I'm sweating with this suit on red hot face and then we do all that and we do with the links and then we go back in we've got about half an hour

before I have to go out and then do the actual ceremony which is just three and a half hours and you're doing jokes it's going live on BBC and in front of you you work and in front offered you work or may offer you work ever again. Or hasn't offered you work. Yes, exactly. And they know that you could confirm their decision making with this performance. Oh my God. And then so basically I didn't really drink much because you can't, there is no time to go for a wee because it's quick and you're on all the time.

So I didn't drink anything really. Then then then then then then then then then th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. their. their. their. their. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. I. th. It. th. th. t. I. I............................................... So I didn't drink anything really. Then we finished and then I've been sweating in the sun, sweating in the rehearsal, sweating of the show and then we were after the show obviously we had a couple of drinks to celebrate. So I had loads, I had loads of drink and I woke up this morning. The driest man. And I didn't even drink that much but you know when I've had no wool. I'm so dry. th you like th you like th you like th you like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the that the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S you had any this morning? Well, do you know what? We dropped the kit, we did the school run, then me and Lou did treat ourselves to a little Mackie Dee's drive-through. And do you know what? I thought you were going to say you had sex.

I treated Lou to a little sausage egg muffin. I gave you the hash brown. She got the hash brown. No, no, so we went... What does that mean? Isn't what I think you mean, is it? The hash brown implies anal sex, isn't it? Yeah, it does, doesn't it? We did not, we did not partake in hash brown in next to a bin at Bromley, drive-through McDonald's. Okay, well, I'm still not... The fact you've added the bin and drive-through McDonald's. Okay, well I'm still, the fact you've added the bin and drive through McDonald's, it does mean that I'm slightly worried that you did just, you know, no, no, we did. No, we were, no, because I got a phone, no, because we pulled up in the car

park and I didn't realize, because it's when you get a takeaway normally hung over and you're ashamed of what you look like and yeah, yeah. It's very difficult who you pull in next to because other people doing that and what's worse to go into a restaurant is pulling alongside a van or a car and you look to your own and there's another couple hash brown in. You don't want to be seeing that do you? So it's saying that's a swingers. So I'm saying that loose and loose so I pulled in that I that I lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo loose loose loose loose loose loose loose loose loose, I that I that I pulled in and I was next to a bin, you know like that one. So yeah, sounds quite funny but yeah so we had a little uh oh my yeah to match from. Now you are, Joe what? McDonald's, they get a bad rep but they are always there for you, weren't they? Well they are open yeah. They are open. I don't think that's part of the issue people have got with them as their open open open open open open open open open open open open open. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they they they they they they are. I they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they're they are they are they are open. I don't they are open. I don't they are open. I they are open. I they are open. I don't. I don't. I don't. I they are they are they are they are they are they are they are. I they are. I they are. I they are. I they are. I they are. I they are. I they are. I they are. I they are. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. th. I don't. th. I don't. I don't. th. I don't. I don't. th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. think that was part of the issue people have got with them in their opening times. So yeah, I'm very dehydrated.

I need to get another, I'm going to get another pint of water in a minute. But yeah, no, it was good, good night, but I was just so relieved. So it is very stressful gig to do. Yeah, I bet. I'm very proud of Lou, as well, to say, to be proud. they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a to get a thi. thi. to. to get a thi. to. to. to. to. to. to to to get another. to get another. to to get a to to to to. to. Lou gets quite anxious about like going out and people taking photos and you know having to get dressed up. She's not sort of super confident in that and she's very worried about like not letting that sort of go on to the girls because I'll say I don't know. She looks like, I don't. I look like and like sort of. Yeah, yeah. She talks about herself in a way that if someone else did it I'd have a fight with him. You know, if someone said that about Lulu, what she's saying, and she's, of course.

She doesn't want that to sort of go on to the girls and for herself as well. So, but I was really proud because she came and then she came and she came to the show and obviously if you're hosting the bafters, there's those people gonna be the people. And we had a great night and she was really like, like, sort of made extra effort in front of the girls to be like, no, I really like my outfit, I'm looking forward to going out. And they're going, you look so pretty, mom, rather because you don't realize, you know,

subtly if you're sort of slagging yourself off, you don't want to. Well, it's really interesting those things you don't want to say. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. All these like we have a thing where like, and I'm sure you know as you're week off carbs I try and do like even though I'll be honest with you Rob, I'm a faddy dieter like the best of them. Sure. But we try and never discuss like dieting in front of the kids because you're just like this is just not a healthy thing to be discussing. They don't need to know that I'm having a protein pancake for breakfast. No, you're just having breakfast. I'm just having breakfast. Sometimes you go like, I'll be like,

I fucking just get rid of this bit of fat on the, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, just disgusting, fucking fucking. the fucking, I hate myself. Yeah, exactly. All those things that are in-programmed in you are not from my parents, but from magazines and from television or from ever, you know, let my children soak that up when they join Instagram. But don't put it on me. Exactly. But anyway, Lou did pretty she looked amazing. So it was it was a good evening for the

winners. Could you just run me through the winners Rob? What's that mate? Could you just run me through the winners because I was I was doing bedtime. Yeah there was loads of winners. Loads of it. Every award someone won. It's very hard to keep up with all the winners I'd say and it's also very difficult where they were like we had some joke we had all our jokes and stuff and then we had like like it were improvising like after awards if the the the winners. the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I was. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. there. there. there's. there's. there's. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. they. they. There. There. There. There. the. There. There. the. There. the. the. the. the. the. there. there's. there's. there's. there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's loads. there's loads. there's loads. there's loads. there's loads. there's like it were improvising like after awards if anything happened there's one guy you should watch it back like when the lionesses I won't Rob the light the coverage of the lionesses I can imagine if I sat down and watch them after this I would recommend for this so the yeah the award for best sports coverage to the the theynesses went to the lioness is within the euros okay yeah and I the I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the I the I the I the I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th the I the I th th the I the I th the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th tho a th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to start beef with people that do sports coverage. However, if the lionesses didn't win the euros and they went out in the first round, you're not winning it. I always think the sports coverage runs a bit dodgy.

It's always the best sports event. It's never like the coverage of the rugby league was fucking incredible. It's always, it's always the Olympics. Oh look, the World Cup final one. Wow. Best news coverage is never like just a Thursday in October where they did a really good thing about inflation. Yeah.

It was actually spot on and they got two great guests with both sides. Yeah. Well, anyway, so they came up. And good luck, obviously, you know, they were very happy they won, but the guy in a pink suit jacket that was going mental, he was like singing along to a sweet carolome when they'd come up, he was going, he was going to speak, he didn't speak, he wasn't one of the one that spoke. And then I went, and then, this was like, the pink jacket enjoyed that and it was got a laugh and he started going, what did you say? I was like what? And then he started like starting on me Robert and I was like what is it? See at the after party mate and I was like what? What?

I don't know if they put that in but I thought he was gonna. Amazing. I think he must have been joking. He's got a pink jacket on his back. Just because I said that he enjoyed it was. I the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to say. to say. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's like. He's started. He's started. He's like. He's started. He's started. So. He's like. He's started. So. He's started. He's like. He's started. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's got a pink jacket on his bafters on the floor just because I said that he enjoyed it a lot. I'm sure us saying that you only won it because the women won the euros is really going to help when next time you bump into him in the street. I'm sure it was great coverage however. I remember I remember when we watched it Rob you said that you thought the links links were a bit weak. You enjoyed it. I don't even. I enjoyed that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I enjoyed that I enjoyed that I enjoyed that I enjoyed that I enjoyed that I enjoyed that I enjoyed that I enjoyed that I enjoyed the that I enjoyed the the the the the the the the the to to the the the to the to know. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed. I enjoyed the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm really really really really really enjoyed. I'm really enjoyed it. I'm really enjoyed tie. I'm really really really enjoyed. I'm really really enjoyed. I tie. I tie. I tie. I tie. I'm really really enjoyed. I tie. I try. I'm really enjoying it. I love Jill Scott, but sometimes, just the VT packages just weren't scuffy enough. Like to turn it off in it, I don't even see a swip. Do you know what I did, Rob? I watched it, but I listened to the radio. Because it was a coverage wasn't good enough. Yeah, it wasn't good enough.

No, it was a brilliant coverage and I was only, but that's the danger of it, if you're doing a little bit of fun ad libs so people get a bit so it was one for best it was one of the one of it was what was it it was best a mini series oh no single drama or something like that and the joke was single drama category for shows where you go great idea but there's not a series in it you know yeah yeah yeah like the guy one come up was like, we actually did get a series? I was like, mate, I don't know it. I'm just trying to get a couple of jokes across the line.

Did you say that in camera, in Mike? I think so? I don't know. I think it's only better. I think you should give the that he that he that he that he that he'll fight his screavries. Do you know what mate? It's a much tougher category. Yeah, there's loads of episodes. You've got to keep that rate up for six more episodes, but you've got to keep that rate up for six more episodes, but then it's very difficult when, because you write your jokes but you don't know what they're going to say in their acceptance speech, because you don't know who's going to win. So. the joke. the joke. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. the. to the. to te. te. te. te. te. te. te. teateateateateateateate. teateate. teate. teate. teate. te. te. te. t's going to win. So yeah, yeah. You had a joke coming up and then Mo Farrow was on. He'd won one for his documentary about being trafficked as a child and dedicated to being a wall to like this. And then I'm like I don't know what I'm saying. You're doing that that thing with your index

finger where you're like move the auto cue on. We don't need a joke. Let's just do the next one straight. Why? Are you listening to the speech? It was really good fun, but it was a long, my feet hurt, but I really enjoyed it. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for.

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Visit MX. toocean about as well. Sir I actually, how are we going to get through it? I'll do, I'll tell what, I'll kick a story. Alternate stories. Yeah, mine are quite short but they're good. Well, we'll be the judge of that Robbish. Oh, okay. Quite, so I'm working with Romish. I just sort of find men that will bully, with one of me or Romish? Do you know what, I feel like I get passed around the comedy industry and I feel like I'm

going to end up in a retirement home with Tom Allen because it was being in my arm. That'll be, you had a drummer, she dropped me, it'll be me and Tom, foodling about. Maybe an offensive and old, when he apologized for me, drunk. No, so my daughter wanted to sort of vinegar, Chris, right? And I went, I'll get My daughter wanted to salt vinegar, Chris, right? And I went, I'll get some. And then she grabbed them, there were the baked ones. Lou bought some baked ones because they're like healthier, right? Yeah, I don't like these.

I don't like, they're just sort of vinegar. She went, no, they're different. they're so different. And they're like, that they are different. Anyway, so I've got her a packet of salt vinegar and it wasn't baked ones, I checked. It starts to see them, these are different, they're not all right. I went, we're not doing this again. They are salt and vinegar. I've checked them, they're not. She went, no, they're not. I went, they're no spicy in there. They're no spicy. Basically they use the word spicy for any sort of flavor. Right, yeah, yeah. But there's no spicy in there. I went, what you talk about? No, it's so I tasted it, ready sorted. What? What? In a sort of vinegar bag? No. Yes. Oh my God that is, that is huge. What you're doing walkers? How does that happen? What do you what if Gary Linnooka? What do you want to calls to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to to the to the to the to to the sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort to to to to to say? their? their? their? I's wa? I sa? I sa? I sa? I sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tweet, tou. to to to to tweet about, get back on the Walker's game and saw that.

Exactly, people in glass houses, Gary. But yeah, so she had ready-sorted in a salt vinegar bag and then I look like a write-mug because I've been telling her, go no you're lying, and then I've tasted one. I reckon that's a once in a lifetime occurrence, Rob. Do you know what I mean? mean? mean? that will mean? that will mean? I mean. That will mean. That will mean. That will mean. That will mean. That will mean. That will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will never that will that will that will that will to to to to to to to to to to to that will. that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will that will th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the. the. the the. argument over flavor is so unfortunate. That is unbelievable. But they smell a salt vinegar, that's what was weird. So do you think that's the whole batch? Do you know what? Greg Wallace needs to do a kind of inside the factory and walkers and then we can kind of work out how it's happened.

How can you have the smell but not repackaged the bag tho. That smell smell, that smell, that smell, that mind. Is it? I reckon it's got to be, isn't it? Just that, no, because I swear there was a vinegar smell in there. No, they can't have been. Your mind is playing tricks on you. Isn't it weird? Sourne vinegar is a weird flavor in it? Yeah, well they don't have it abroad. They don't have it abroad. they don't have it abroad. they're they they have th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to have to have to have to have it. to have it. to have it. to have it abroad. their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. fucking mainland Europe. I don't want to sound like Nigel Farage here, but... Oh, John Andrei with his mainland Europe paprika crisps. You cannot move flays paprika. They're everywhere. Best crisp ever had, by the way, Finland. Unreal crisp game. They pride themselves on their crisps. And what kind of flavors are they doing? All sorts, mate. But he ain't the flavour, it's just the crisp itself. That it's like that perfect middle ground between walkers and

kettle. Do you want to know something East London? Go on. Do you know what flavor my daughter's favorite crisp is? I think I know this one. Go on. Is it the truffle one? Yeah she loves the Torres ones? Those Torres ones. They're about eight quid a bag, mate. They're fucking insane though. She doesn't know what a quid a bag is. I tell you what, though, I don't like the truffle. Right? I don't like the crisp. But the crisp, I like the crisp. He's better thick crisp. He's better. It's not. It's not. I's not. I's not. I's not. I's not. I's not. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. the fucking. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th' th' th' thin. thin. th' thin. th' th' thin. th' thi fucking they're fucking they're fucking they're fucking thin. thin. thin. thin, walkers for me is too thin and the kettle sometimes is too much. It's like... Yeah, I don't like a thick crisp. I don't like a thick crisp. I like the middle ground, but yeah, the Finland crisp is absolutely exceptional. But Romish has him, he has someone his rider, Romish. What, the truffle ones? Yeah, because I always say what you want and I just have like water and a coat zero. I want, I want, I want, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't like, I, I'm like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I don't, I don't like, I don't like, like, like, I don't like, like, like, like, like, I don't Yeah, I couldn't trust myself. Do you know this is something?

So this is the kind of faddy diet crap that I don't talk about in front of my children. I'm more than happy to talk about on the podcast even though there's going to be people at home going, oh, that's what is that what Josh does to just sign this off on some sort of like advertising deal with someone because you know your secrets now do you? Yeah, yeah, of course. Because everyone says to me, you know Josh, I go, yeah, yeah, he's brilliant. They always go, how does he get his barred? I'm like, he's never told me. The bit I most think is a lie is. the thing is a lie. As you reply is yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they, he's they, he's they, he's they. You're they. You're they. You're to say, you're they. You're to say, you're to say, you're to say, you's to say, you to say, you to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to me, you to me, you to me, you to me, you to me, you to me, you to me, you to me, you to me, you're to me, you're, you're, you're, you're to me, you're to me, you're to me, you're they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. they. they. they. they. they. You know, they. You know, to say, you know, to say, you know, to me, th. Yeah, he's all right, nice play though, he turns up on time. Yeah, the headphones swings a bit annoying, but we're getting it. It's sort of annoying, though, it's all added to the show now, so it's sort of like,

can't mow, you know what we? Yeah. So, on last lag, yeah. I sit in my dressing room with Tom and Matthew who write on the show. So we'd like, sit around, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, like, like, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. I th. I th. So, sit like, sit th. So, sit th. So, sit th. So, sit th. So, sit th. So, sit th. So, sit like, sit like, sit like, sit like, sit like, sit like, sit like, sit like, sit the stuff and talk through, yeah? And I don't want any snacks in my dressing room so I because it would just I'll just graze all day. I'm exactly the same if it's in there I'll eat it. But we've had it for series and series and then I was like I don't want any snacks in my dressing room but I didn't think they wants they basically they've basically are now in a snack-free zone because I've put a ban on snacks in the dressing

room. Right, but then they can't get snacks from anywhere else. Well they could but I'm like... That you've basically taken the decision that they aren't allowed to snack. I've made, I've taken the decision that they aren't allowed to snackers. Oh they are big snackers. They are the biggest snackers. And I'm not. You know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're not, you're not, you're their, you're their, you're they're they're th, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they, they're, they're they're they're they're they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not they're th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not, they're not, the biggest snackers are normally the thinest people and I think, how dare you? If you can eat that and get away with it, don't do it near me. I hate that. But just a little tip. Michael, who produces this and sometimes listen. Yeah, he's a, great bod. His diet is insane.

Great bod, I've never seen a man eat more carbs in my life. It's insane. What you want you the the the the the the the the their their their their their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah my life. It's insane. What do you want for lunch? I'll have a burger and chips. What? For lunch? Charlotte bread on the side. Yeah, fucking one o'clock mate. Bread everywhere. Still in great shape. Unbelievable. Sick it. Yeah, sorry, go on Josh. But also on the snack free zone, this is an interesting thing for, well, it's not interesting. But it's not funny. So that's what I'm saying it's interesting. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. the the the th. th. the th. I the th. I the the the the the the th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I'm thru. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll. theat. theat. thro theat. thr. thi. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. is interesting. Is what I do is if when I stopped like snacking and having sugary stuff, I used to get really tired before the last leg and I have to have a nap at 8pm. But it's because I was spiking my blood sugar all day with Harrowbow. Right. And then now you're not. So now I don't spite my blood sugar. I feel great mate. I'm sure you notice. You the last you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice you notice. I'm sure you notice. I'm sure you know, I'm sure you know, I'm sure you know, I'm sure you know, I'm sure you know, I'm sure you know, I'm that's that, I'm that's that's that's that, I'm that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm the the the the the the the that, I'm that's, I'm the that's the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. that's that's th. th. that's th. th. that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the'm sure you notice last series that I was just the quality

of the episodes was just going up and up. It's funny he said that because I've re-watched the series before and last series every episode, it's eight to eight hours and you know what I was like, yeah that's working for him. Who's your favorite guest? Um, is Adam Mills on it every week? He was good, I thought, for a guest. He's got his own chair and he's really delivering that. For someone, just pop on. On that, Rob, comedians that think you've watched their stuff can fuck off. Oh, I assume no one's ever watched anything, read anything, listen to anything, or anything that I've done. Right, so I did that, that bafters last night and I was stood there and I was like, I should know this. This is my industry. It felt like I could have been doing a plumbing

award because I've just I don't have the time to watch stuff. And when a comedian says I watched that you're like what? What? No you didn't. Greg Davies come up to us when he was giving out his, given out of award. He went, well done, lads, great job, and I actually mean that. Because you know, if we died on our ass, everyone would still come up and go, well done, oh, jeez. So my son's got obsessed with watching me pierce. Well, it's quite a sight, to be honest. So he like walked into the bathroom when I was having a piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My daughter used to be obsessed with that. Yeah, and he, I remember that. It was quite a weird period for me actually when they were obsessed. Driving them through the Blackwall Tunnel again to watch George d'up. I text you, I need a piss in 10 minutes from him out.

He came out. He'll stand next to my leg, like holding my leg like a lamp post. Yeah. And just looking at my dick with it pissing. And then I went for a piss the other day and he came with me because he obviously knew where I was going. Yeah. And he watched it again. And you're like, what's going on here?

It is funny watching people piss, isn't it? But also he can't believe it's happening obviously. It must look mental to him. Yeah, but he does it as well, doesn't he. Yeah, I'm happy not to do napies. That is a real moment. My daughter's they would get, my youngest would get really near the piss to the point where I'm worried that I was gonna piss on the edge of a cliff? Yeah, it's like, you know when someone stands too too too too too too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to have to have their to have to have their to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have their their their their their that's not happy not to to to to that that that you you that you that you that you not not not not not not you you to that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's not you that's not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're they not they not they not they not they not they not thin. I thin. I thi. I was thin. I have tho an thoooo an th thi. I have not haa. I have not hapi. I have not hapi. I was not happy. I'm not not that. And you're like going, even though they're safe and they're comfortable, I can't watch. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

You're gonna kiss in your kid's face here really. Yeah. As a rule, in my daughter, my daughter, there's a new, they've got a new shower. They've got a new shower. Yeah, when've got it. I'm going to have a golden shower. I was like, do you want to work on the word in fact. I'm going to have a golden shower? I didn't know Colonel Gaddafi was designing your new house. Oh, leave it our Nicknack HQ.

I bet you've got some gold. Of course we've got a fucking gold shower on. Stailer wife stainless steel or gold gold looks fancy go for gold I should make it clear it's not solid gold it's yellowing I know exactly yeah yeah do you want another bit of news always your turn your oh so right you know you know lime I you know the school dad who does tacula and squeezes lime so they they have like barbecue party sings right and it is so booze tho they they live they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they the the they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the tho they. the the they. the the the they. the the the they. tho they they they they they the the the the school dad who does tequila and squeezes lime. So they have like barbecue party things, right? And it is so boozy. But they live around the corner from us. So it's like a 25-second walk, right?

Yeah. So normally, I'll, like, and so they had a big party, just, I think it was a, on one of the Sundays, they. the around there and the girls were very excited because they got like a bouncy castle so it was all the school parents and all the kids right. So Lou was out for the day so I went around there and then I was like do you want a beer and it was when it was a sunny day so I had a beer I ended up getting absolutely battered because I was just in the sun and like are you there for hours and the kids playing but they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th their their they. their the the they. the the the their the the their their their their their of-shots. It was like, I thought, because there was student party. Fucking boy. Anyway, so we got a bit drunk and then we started playing football and it was the, it was like

the dad's versus the kids. And, um, and then, I hope you won. Well, it feels a bit unbalanced if I'm well, no, the kids are nine-year-old kids are well good of football. They absolutely love it. They live and breathe. They're like, fuck Roy Keene in the 90s again. Also they don't get tired. Never get there. I've never seen a child get tired. Blood red panted. Anyway, so I got the ball and I, and I panned it,

and I panned it, and I felt really bad and then I went in and apologized and then she painted my nails and so I was like oh because she was painting of one that I went can do mine sort of like try and make friends and a peas and I've still got that now I'm gonna you know when it's just like picking at it all the time but I anyway so that was what I'm the the the the to to to to to to to to the to to the the the to the the the th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you to to th you to to to to to to to to to to the th. the. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm th. I'm theeeee. I'm the. I'm the. I th. the time. But anyway, so that was what happened. I got, I got accidentally really pissed because it was, you know, everyone was doing that. Anyway, so I came home, put the kids to bed, but I was really woozy. And then the next day, because Lou wasn't there, the kids come in and woke us up and she was like, Daddy you were drunk, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, I was like, I was drunk. I was. I was. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was, I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, I was. I was. I was. I was, I was. I was, I was. I was. I was. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk. How do you know I was drunk? And she went, because you said yes to everything. Because I remember, there was like, could I ask some sweets?

It was like, yeah, can you have a cake? Yeah. Can you get another drink? Yeah. I just, I was so pissed. I just wasn't. I was physically there, but mentally. I wasn't bearing shots so I thought

I'm not getting as drunk as then but they were fucked so I couldn't you know when you're levels off on the piss thing Rob so I went to a 40th didn't drink because I'm uh you off the booth. How many days have I done now? Pretty impressive stuff. Let me just have a look at my app. 42 days. Well done, that's great. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? I'm on 13 hours. I'm doing 42 days.

So I'm doing 42 days. I've done 42 days. Rose had two friends around for Eurovision. Yeah. Yeah. And I went to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. thoom. thoomea. thoea. thoom. thoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoom. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm, that. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. th. I'm. I'm. That's. That's. I. Sure. Yeah. And I went to 40th. I got back half 11. And then I noticed it was coming to the end of Eurovision. Yeah. And there's a lot of glasses.

There was a lot of plates. There was a lot of there was a lot of tidying to do. There was lots of, Rose made some of what she describe as kind of picky bits. That's the phrase she used. Yeah. Nick knick knack on the walls, knick knick. Exactly right. I had a kill for some knick knacks, mate. Fucking truffle, crisp, all over the shop. Anyway. I noticed this is coming to an end here and there's a lot of tidying here.

Right. So first thing, I'm like... Are you just going straight to bed and let her deal with it? Exactly, Rob. Yes, I think he's going to say you started tired and up. No, no, no. I was like, I'm so tired, guys. See you in the morning.

Did Rose sort of look like... I'm in bed by 1130. Rose comes up a quarter past one, Rob. Oh, God, what should have been down there? Almost an hour of tidying. Oh, was that? Really? So, I had to unstack and restack the dishwasher. Well, do you know what? I think, because you were out, that wasn't your mess. It wasn't. No, you're messed up. I'd to today. told. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. to be. th. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tha. That's good. Anyway, she had two and a half glasses of wine. Her friends were drinking far more than she was. She was such. And they got kissed the friends? One has.

And the other he hasn't. Anyway, so you went to bed, didn't feel guilty. No, but Rose yesterday, the problem is to dehydration, Rob, I didn't actually drink that much, but I've had no liquids in my body. It's mad, isn't it? You can't do anything, it's awful. You can't do anything if you've had any alcohol, basically.

And as you get older, the things I used to do on a hangover is mental I'd existed on a hangover for a decade and was fine yeah and now I can't do all shows hungover I'd have eight pints and a car and then get up the next day drive for three hours and do a two-hour show and that would be fine how how is two kids harder than that I know it's mental it's absolutely mental you're just just there going, all I want to do is lie on the sofa and look at my phone. That is all I'm looking for. How much I used to do that? I used to go out 3 a.m. and then do a full day's work at waterstones, and then do a full day's work at Waterstones, mate. What is a full day's work at water stoast. On your feet touch the sides. What is a full-based work at Waterstones? On your feet the whole time and you're not allowed hot drinks.

That is it. How are you allowed a hot drink? How is that conducive to the hangover? How are you not allowed hot drink? I don't know. I don't know if they changed the policy now. Do you work at Water Stones. drinks and I was on the floor with a Costa. It's absolutely tantalizing. You'd, oh, I thought you was hiding on the floor with a Costa. No, no, no, there was a Costa. Children's Leisure Costa. That was my floor. Okay, fair enough. Right. Can I tell

I tell you a horrible story? Yes, please. So I don't know if you remember my parents brought a lot of stuff up because they saw the opportunity, they wanted to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. I, th. I was, th. I was, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Oh, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their the. Oh, thea. Oh, thea.a. Oh, th.a. toda. th. th. thea. thea. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, up because they were they saw the opportunity they wanted to get rid of they're clearing out the barn so I had to go through all of my old stuff. You got a barn? They're from Devon Rob. Everyone's got a fucking barn in Devon. Is that just like a massive shed then essentially? Yeah. Yeah. That was built 200 years ago. Sure. Well built. So I'm going through the stuff. Yeah. It's. the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they're. they're. they're. They're they're they're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. they's. they's. they's. they. they's. they's. they. they. they's. they's. their. their. their. their. their. their. they're. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their thing, a shit that was built 200 years ago. Sure, well built. So I'm going through the stuff, yeah, and it's all like exercise books, old books, old records, photographs, stuff like that. Yeah, classic. Camera film. A classic. I was like, fucking hell, I haven't seen one of them in years.

And I'm, you know that plastic, you can see this now. The plastic plastic plastic plastic plastic plastic plastic, you th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. that. I'm, th. I'm, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm, exercise. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. thea. thea. Ex. thea. Ex. Ex. th. th. Ex. Exa. Ex. the other plastic one, you take it to, you should take it to boots, give them it and then they're developed. Yeah. And you don't know what's on it because it wasn't a digital camera, you've just snapped and hoped. And I was like, oh man, that's going to be really exciting. There's going to be a camera film that hasn't been developed in 30 years. So I open I I I I I open th open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I open I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho the the the theat theat the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. the. theean. theean. theean. theean theean. theeean theeeean theee an the. Yeah. Yeah, th. Oh. What's it saying? What's it saying? Instantly recognize my dad's handwriting. Yeah. Can you read that? Josh's teeth. Oh, Josh.

Oh my God. Are they in there? Yeah. Short. There's three teeth in there, Rob. I don't think you need to write teeth under that. Just Josh's would have been fine, wouldn't it? Yeah. So you got three teeth? Oh my God, that is awful. Can I see them? Yeah. I'll do two of them first, right? And then the third one is something else.

So this is two baby teeth that are like molars. Go, they're big old boys. They're massive. Well, and that's coming from you. Right, get ready Rob. Go on. Michael, start clipping this up for Instagram. Oh, oh, why is it so long? Look at that fucking tooth. That is too big for a chuck.

Did this fall out when you were little, like three or four? That you're not human. That you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're something, you're something, you're something, you're something, you're something, you're like, you're something, you're something, you're like, you're something, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're, you're, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee the the the that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the. the. the the the. when you was like three or four that you're you're not human that you're something else you're like a Neanderthal you know like what is that? I didn't see in my life I have never seen a child's tooth that big especially you're a small bloc you're not like a massive it's like Greg Davies as a kid? No. Why should... So, that is, I think, I had one of my adult tooth removed when I was a teenager. It has, if that's come out of a, that cannot have come out of a child's mouth.

And that's me talking. I can tell you the exact day that got taken out out out out, I got taken out, I got taken out, I got taken out, I, I, I, I, I, I, I got took, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I tol. I tole, I took, I took, I took, I took, I took, I totally. took, I took, totally. took, took, took, I took, I today, I took, I took, I today, I taken out because I went under general anesthetic to have that taken out. Is that fully asleep? Yeah. Because it was it came through like behind the other teeth in the like the roof of my mouth. Yeah right okay that well that makes sense said if it was an adult tooth that cannot be a child's tooth it's it's about an inch long look at that fucking bastard. Oh good you had that taken out. So what are you going to do with those teeth now? eBay? No I don't know. You need to take a photo of them all free to get that. I've lost the I've lost the fucking cup. Oh God they are so weird aren't they? What am I going to do with them Rob? I don't want my daughter to have them do I? No, no. I don't want my daughter to the to to their to have their to have their to have to have their to have their to have to have their to have to have to have them to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have them them them them to have them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have them them them them a photo for content and then burn them. They're not, that big one's not going to burn, Rob. Oh God, I've lost one of my molars. Oh, there is.

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Apparently, they're doing, you know, it's like Quasar, laser tag, whatever you call it. What did you used to call it down your way? Quazer, or LaserQuest. Laser quest. they're doing a thing now where, because the dad, the dad, their, they're, they're, their, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, their, they're, their, they're, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I I, th. I, th. I, th. It, th. It, th. It, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaa.a, isa, thi, thi, thi, And apparently they're doing a thing now where, because the dads dominate it and just chase all the kids shooting them and they're better, they do a thing now where the dads have a shock. If the dads get a shot gives them a little shock, to sort of stop him being a bit gung ho. So the kids come right.

What is this like S&M laser quest? LaserQuest. It sounds a bit pervy, isn't it? Yeah, would you go with your kids? No, I'll go with Lou. Quick Cash Brown at the back of life. And the shock collar going off if you even suggest Cash Brown. No, I will take them. Oh, this is a fun game as well, Josh. We should talk about this. So my brother's got a baby two months old, very cute, brilliant parents are actually loving it, but obviously just doing the classic new parent. These were the ones that thought they'd get it under control by six weeks. Yeah, exactly. And you know what, they sort of have, but I think they've accepted that is quite non-stop and tyring, but they haven't got it, you know, they've got their they've got they've got it, their their.... their. They've got their. They've got. They've got. They've got. They've got. They've got, their. They've got, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. They're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their, their, the. te. the. too. the. the. too. te. te. the. the. the. the. the. their, their, you know, they've got it under control to a point, you know. But anyway, the, well I think that baby sleeps quite well. One night he said, they, the baby slept from 10 p.m. till 5 a.m. which is amazing.

Wow. But it's so funny how that can be like bragging right. Yeah, fucking aura. So that that can be like bragling. that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that can that can that can be that can be that can be that can that can that can that can that can that can that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be that can be they. they. they. they. they. they. they they they. they they they they they they. they're they. they. they they. they they they're they. that that that that that that that can be that can up of 5 a.m. every day. Yeah, fucking aura. Anyway, so this is some of the things Joe Google searched, which really made me laugh. Oh yeah. The first one, baby not blinking. Amazing. Ha ha ha ha ha. And then he wanted to be said it, I was like, yeah, she does just sort of look forward quite a little, but apparently it's fine. It's just, you know, they don't blink, they don't blink, they don't, they don't, they don't, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. I was like, yeah, she does just sort of look forward quite a little, but apparently it's fine. It's just, you know, they don't blink loads, whatever. Right. Next one, baby acne. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm always getting fucking rashes.

Yeah. Next one, baby sweaty hands. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. Oh, wow. Also everyone starts your baby baby baby baby. thirty hands. Next one baby. Baby. the baby. the baby. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. Baby. th. th. Baby. Baby. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. Baby. Baby. Baby. the. Baby. Baby. Baby. the. Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. Yeah. Baby. Yeah. Baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.................................... Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. your baby, by the way. Baby, sweaty hands. Next one, baby, cold hands. Oh my God. So the hot and cold. And the baby's sweaty feet. Same answer is sweaty hands. What was the answer? And I, basically, when it's actually fine. Just to get cold.

Yeah. Oh, dear. Oh, wow. That is the that is incredible. Oh you forget don't you forget what the fucking fear is like. All the time it's absolutely insane in it. My boy turns two turned two on Thursday Rob. Oh yes party what did you do? Do you have a problem isn't it Rob the second so the balance was all wrong because it's the second child the our first daughter our first child had we had a proper party that she didn't give a shit about you know. This time, Rob, at 1030 the night before I thought I've got to go to the 24-hour

Tesco because we've done so little we haven't got a cake, we haven't got balloons, we haven't got anything, we've got a few presents. We just, we haven't engaged in this at all. And the reason I was going, Rob, was mainly because my daughter, whose birthday isn't even, was quite like she was the one that was upset about it, because we weren't doing enough for him. Yeah, because she understands. Well, she understands. It doesn't really matter. the that, their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We. We. We. We's. We's. We's. We's. We. We's. We's th. We th. I. I. I. I's th. I's things. I things. things. We haven't. things. things. things. things. things. things. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I don't know what's going on. Yeah. She goes like, do you not care about it? So, no. So, I went to 24 like to go close. No. No.

No. This is the way. This is the balance is all off, Rob. So we got all that stuff. So, we got all that stuff. blown up balloons at midnight, all this kind of stuff, yeah? He comes down, he doesn't give a shit. No. He unwraps a few presents, fine. But also the presents we've got all wrong, he's got the most expensive two-year-old presents because he doesn't understand the value, so it's fine.

Because we needed a second iPad. One for him, one for my daughter. So it's quite an extreme present, but it's a way to get by. But it was like, well, we've got to buy this from anyway. We might as well wrap it up. Okay, fair enough. Like, because they're arguing over the iPad. They're arguing who gets the iPad in a car, etc.

Yeah. Yeah. So we were like, oh, we've got to buy this anyway, we'll give it to him for his birthday. And then also we went to Halford to get my daughter a new bike. And he kept having gone the balanced bike and we were like, we might as well just get him the balance bike as well, because then he can start learning. So for his second birthday, he got an iPad and a bike wrong. But that iPad will come in good. They're good presents, but they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thauantes thoomomomorrow's thoomorrow's thoomorrow thoomorrow's thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoom. thoom. thoom. thoanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan's. And thaa. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And than's than's than. And than. And than. And than's ba. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And just, but that iPad will come in good. They're good presents, but they're presents for us. Do you know what I mean?

Like, their presents to make life easier for us. But yeah, his presents are going to go massively downhill, but he will have a party when he's three. Hopefully the bike will as well. He hasn't touthey can ride a bike. I know I don't really get what the point is it just means that you're shuffling around a fucking park just kind of gyrating on a bike basically. Leaning down making sure they don't fall over and be crushed by this metal frame. Yeah, it's fucking. Talking about birthdays. Lo's birthday is in June, it's June the 18th, Luz birthday, right? And so that weekend, I always book off the weekend from work.

It's always in my diary, so I never do any work around Luz birthday. So anyway, so I've booked that off and it's also, I never, I have a howler with events for me because my birthday is second of January, which is pointless. And then my father's day is always on the same weekend to lose birthday. So that doesn't really exist. Yeah, fine, that's annoying. That's annoying. Loo for her birthday's going to Amsterdam to see Beyonce.

She couldn't get tickets for Tottenham Hotspur stadium. Anyway, so she's booked that weekend. So she's booked to am I'm going to Amsterdam for a few nights, seeing Beyonce, that's her birthday weekend, you know, and I've got a present for her, I can give it, and then she was like, oh the girls are going to be sort of sad that like, I'm not going to be there on my birthday because they love it when it's our birthday, the kids. Yeah, so- You said, I'll love the trip. Do you love your, do you love I I love, I love be I love be I love be I love be I love be I love be I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I love be I love be I love Beyonce, I'll love Beyonce, I love Beyonce, I'll love, I'll love, I'll the their their their their their their their their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll their, I'll, I'll their, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll their, I'll, I'll their, I'll the girls, I'll the girls, I'll the girls, I'll love, I'll love, I'll love, I'll love, I'll love, I'll love be the girls, I'll love the girls, I'll love the girls, I'll love the girls, I'll love, I'll love, birthday on like the Wednesday. Classic the classic. I was like okay we can and I don't mind that but I have booked off three days of work in advance so I'm obviously working on the Wednesday because I've got the weekend off so now we're going to lie to the kids and go it's mommy's birthday why. their. the kid's the their birthday. Why's th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. Where is th is th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's the their their their their their their their thi's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi. I thi's the. I's theea. I's thea. I's thea. thea' thea' thea' thea. I's the the the thea' thea' thi. I's th? Why is daddy going to work on your birthday? So I look like a right prick.

And I've not actually done anything wrong. No, if anything, you're the one that's there for the birthday. Exactly, but not anymore because birthday's moved, doesn't it? Are your daughter's not old enough to clock the change of date? I don't think they're not really bothered about okay yeah yeah you know the exact fine yeah but yeah yeah so that but we got we just try to work a day where I'm we can do the fake what are you doing on a fake birthday well we haven't we haven't

done the fake birthday yet but I mean what are you are you filming with Rommesh filming with your other friend the other friend that I'm the the the the the the the other the other the other other other other other other friend the other friend the other friend the other friend the other friend the other friend the other friend the other friend the other friend friend friend friend friend friend friend friend friend friend friend friend friend the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th f f f f f f f f I th. th. I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. thr thrown. thrown I'm thrown I'm thro. thro. the. the. the thrown. the. thrown I'm the. thrown I'm thrown I'm that I'm that I'm th friend that I work with. Like you were way away. The options are the day she wants to it was a day before she went and I am, I'll tell you exactly what I'm doing, I'm going to be hosting a corporate awards for media. Oh, didn't you do it last night? Yeah, pretty much. What of my main job? Give it out a want. Well you'll be in the day though, you'll be in the morning. Well yeah, but they'll be at school. Oh yeah. But then when they come out of school, because I work evenings, we'll do the morning and then they'll come back and go like,

right, let's go for dinner for mommy's birthday, dad's at work. And I'm like, yes, because I've t lie to you so that it was all fun but now everyone thinks I go to work on whatever. So you're going to have to visibly give her her presents on her fake birthday? Yeah, so it was to do like balloon to the cake and go out for some dinner but we're just trying to work out what day to do it so maybe we can maybe do it on the Wednesday before the day. Oh my god Rob. This is the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. to to to to to to th. th. th. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to give. to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. So, to. So, to. So, know it in three years time lose having to pretend because your daughters have remembered the day and forever more lose having a fake birthday. Well exactly I mean we could do it when she comes back from

but anyway after them let's not just go through my diary live let's not go through your diary let's do a small business shout out. Hi Rob and Josh my very talented friend a mother of boys, has set up a small sustainable business called Remix Clothing. She uses pre-loved clothes to create beautiful new kids clothes and she makes tailor-made garments from your old special clothes as a one-off piece just for you or your child. They are beautiful. Her Instagram is Remix Clothing UK or search remix clothing on Facebook. This shout out will mean so much to her, thanks so much for your time.

Sarah 456 months old and two days past my due date. I imagine judging by the speed we get through these, that baby is now about four years old. But remix clothing, UK on Instagram or remix clothing on Facebook. That sounds very good. Hi Rob and Josh, I have a small business shout off you. I am part of a barbershop singing quartet. Our name is Muddy Stilettos. That wasn't me singing by the way.

Muddy Stilettos, we sing acapelah in four-part harmony. No idea what that means, but sounds good. We are available for all kinds of events, weddings, engagements, baby showers, parties. You name it, and we will happily travel around the UK. We can sing all kinds of genres and can even arrange songs to suit any event if need be. Our website is we are Muddy-Dy-Dy-Dy-Dy-D-Y Stilettos. Instagram and Facebook, we are Muddy Stilettos. Keep up the good work, thanks Hannah, the littlestest and youngest member of Muddy Stilettos, aka the Tenor, in brackets, the highest part. Good luck with that, Muddy Stilettos.

See you Friday. Bye. Bye.