Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP46: Jack Whitehall

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian and actor - Jack Whitehall. You can get tickets for Jack's new tour show 'Settle Down' here Parenting Hell is available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Speak no evil is filled with teeth clenching, seek clawing suspense. Something's not right with him. I've always wanted to family like yours. James McEvo will scare you speechless. Oh! You're going to kill us. We're just sad to see you go. Speak no evil.

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That's great, how there. Good girl, well done. More? Yes. Okay. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whittigan? Get daddy's garlic. Okay. There we go! Nice, can I guess where they're from? Sorry.

Guess away. We've got no knowledge. Oh, okay. It's a shame, isn't it? Yeah, no, no mind. I'll go over it. Who is it? This my two and a half-year-old daughter, Lily. didn't see this coming but she is now saying your names all the bloody time. Her baby sister is due in October. She's confident that Lily and Daddy have babies in their tummies as well.

Oh, it's a bit weird. Bit weird, oh, they've said that, when she keeps kissing my stomach while sitting in the trolley in Tesco. Love the podcast, guys, th that the problem? The way he's written that is he's sat in the trolley of a big belly and who's the tortu is? When she's kissing my stomach while sitting in the trolley in Tuscary. Yes he is. Yes, yeah, Jamie is that's okay. Ten minutes Rob. Quick tea. Quick, quick ten. How are you good? Yes, because you're always in preparation of you go into a glass and would it be next week? Yeah.

So, positives and negatives to report. Go on. Now, obviously, Rose has done this when she was pregnant. And I'd say, obviously, there's always pregnant people at a wedding who have to do this, even though they normally drink. And I'd say it is say it is it is tough for them. Well the pregnant people? The pregnant people generally. Well those also, let me be clear about this is also magical. Yeah, look I won't say the look Lou had in her eye when she was pregnant was magical. No. I would say there was some, she did look

possessed. Yep. There was some sort of dark, spiritually, spiritually, he sort of. Black magic. Yeah, black magic, hocus, kind of stuff. Yeah, there was a pokespocus. Yeah, there was a pub quiz. She was under the spell of something. So the night before they had people sleeping there and all got married? Uh, you probably work with him, Danny, car who produces the last leg? Oh yes, I know Danny, yeah, he does a few podcasts, he's produced, isn't he?

Yeah, lovely guy. Danny and Lucy, who you might have met through, she works in TV. I don't know whether you know whenever I've seen him, he's always been with a woman called Monica. Strange. So, that is a joke by the way. Congratulations on your marriage. Do you know what, it was easy not to drink the night before? Yep. And then the day in the morning, it was okay and then I was staying the same.

The morning. It was only the morning. But my favorite drink, Rob, of all time is the drink before the wedding. The exciting drink before the wedding? Yes. That is a good drink. That is. That is. It that is a that is a th. It thi. It is a thi. It is a thi. It is a thi.the drink before the wedding. The exciting drink before the wedding? Yes. That is a good drink. That is an anticipation drink. So. You do sound like somebody who's really missing it. No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Okay, sorry. Fine. Alex Brooke was staying in the same place as us. So we drove to Tesco because we were going to have, we were like, well just have a, I bought a bottle of, a bottle of schlaw, and he got a lot of rosé? Shler, is it? I think it's schler, not schlaar. Yeah, shlaar, that's like an American saying coleslaw. So then we, we went to wedding, he'd had his rosé, I'd had my slur. The thing you find out, Rob, is no one gives a fuck. No one, you think

everyone's going to be worried about this. Everyone's going to think this is going to ruin the wedding. Everyone will be going, but Josh is no fun. I said this to Rose. No one cares about you if I'll be as much of a laugh without a drink. She said you're always a fucking nightmare. What if you have a drink? Yeah. So they're actually relieved that you're not having a drink. It turns out I'm not the life and soul of the party that I thought I was Rob. Well that no one gives a fuck mate. No one, not even with you drinking or not what they're wearing. No one cares. They're only worried about what they're wearing. No one they're drinking. I had a lovely. Not even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even even the their their they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even their they're not even their they're not even their they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even they're not even. No they're not even they're not even they're not even. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No're wearing. No one drinking. I had a lovely time. It was totally fine. Six p.m.

Totally fine. I know I had a really fun time. How was the wedding totally fine actually. He spent six rants planning it and thousands of pounds on it but I found it fine. So I would have probably In the afternoon. I would probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably the the the the the the the the the the the the the afternoon, but then at 6 p.m. Rob, I had a coffee and I absolutely accelerated into the evening. I was fucking buzzing and get this I was on the dance floor absolutely going for it. That's good. Sober, loving it, absolutely smashed it with my dancing, had a great time. Was you a dancer when you drunk? Yeah I was but not really, you know, this was out of nowhere. I'm not a dancer.

No. Never dance. Get yourself a coffee down you at 6 p.m. mate, you'll be absolutely bouncing off the walls. See, because we actually gave, we had caffeine tablets at my wedding. Because we actually gave, we had caffeine tablets, we, tablets, tablets, tablets, tablets, tablets, tablets, tablets, tablets, tablets, to, to, t, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, not, not, I'm not not, I'm not not, I'm not not, I'm not not not to. I'm not, morning. Exactly, exactly. They're not caffeine tablets you're giving out Robby. They were there were they were caffeine tablets. They're what on Senvenger gave all the arson players when he first arrived into the UK. Not the exact ones.

No, no, no, of course. Ray Parlor. Ray Parlor. the tha. tho, Ray Parlor. thian. thian. thian. thian. thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, they were thu, they were they were they were they were th. They were th. They were th. They were th. They were they were they were their, their, their, their, they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were, they were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were th. They were th. They were th. They were their. They were the the their their their their the th. They were their their their their their th. They were they were they were He had a bit of fun. I was not me, Gaffa. See you there. Au revoir. Anyway, there's the positives. Had a great time. The negatives come 12 p.m. I was the designated driver, Rob. Right, okay. Who you dropping off?

I didn't have a car. So I had to borrow. I was insured. told. told. told. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. I was insured. I was insured. I was insured. I was insured. I was a toe. I was a the the toe. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I borrow, I was insured obviously, on my friends. She had a Porsche. I've never driven a Porsche car before because I'm not a complete wanker. Oh, you're going to really alienate all our Porsche drivers. Oh, come on, guys, grow up. I had to do three separate journeys with the Porsche. I was like, I was ferrying people forward and back to the venue. How many seats in the Porsche?

Well, I can send you a picture of trying to get someone in the back of a Porsche. So you just ferrying people back and forward? Just ferrying people back and forth from. I think that's a bit out of order. So this is what it's like to be in the back of a Porsche. His foot's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in the pp. the pp. the pp. the pp. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. So that's the person in the back and that's his wife. His foot looks broken coming through the middle. Surely there was a better car to use for this? No, because no one else had driven. She'd driven, so I had to drop her home. How far? It was like a five minutes each way drive. What to the hotel from the venue? To where we were staying. Oh, okay, that's fine. Yeah.

And there was a police car also on this road that was sat there the whole time. And I thought, they're gonna pick me up in a minute. I think you love that. This Porsche going forward and back In the middle so I hope the breather so doesn't bloody well clock my latte. Well, well done there, Josh, and there was, I imagine no kids at this wedding. This was a kid-free wedding.

No, kid-free wedding. So I'd say it was a today. So I'd say it was a today. So I'd say it has a coffee as well I've been seeing some of the videos he sort of sings quite slow now don't he? On a mirror ball. Wicked oh any other news report should we bring on our guest? I've done our 10 minutes Rob we've done our contractual rights to say any like that. Sorry but also we've got such a big guest on to dad so we don't eat up time. It would be mad. Hollywood guest. Hollywood guest he's a soon. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We've th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. We've th. We've th th th thus th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've got th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. We're th. We're th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th the th th the the that the the to to to to to to the to to to to to the the to to the to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the. We don't eat up time. It would be mad to do anymore. Hollywood. Hollywood guest. It's a soon to be dad, not a dad yet. Yeah. It's so new thing, isn't it? It worked with Shaw and Walsh so well. The before and after. They're going to start doing it. Very good

way to do it. We need to get some expecting moms on as well because we've had two expecting moms. I'm trying to bagging to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to bag. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to today. today. to. to. today. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to. torying to bag a scarlet more fat. Right, okay, that's a good one. She said yes and then I asked for a phone number and she didn't reply. We'll follow her up and we'll get her on, but this is Jack Whitehall who is currently on a huge UK tour. You can see him all over the place. And, uh, very funny man. And, uh, enjoy. Welcome to the podcast, Dad to be, Jack Whitehall. Wow, Dad to be.

Dad to be. When you were 18 when you, you know, it was only yesterday you were hosting Big Brother's Little Brother's Little Mouth, isn't it? Big Mouth type. Big, little brother's, big brother's, big mouth. Something like that. Little brother's, big mouth.

Oh, even an old people's time? Because how quickly it happens when you become a dad? You just don't know anything. I was making lame jokes. Do you know what it is though? Your brain, your brain runs out of capacity because you know like how busy and stressful stuff is like admin wires? Like you know you got have you log in for this? You've like everything needs an account doesn't it these days? you you you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their th? th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You're th. You're to be to be to be to be to be tip people people their to be to be to be to be their their their their people people people people people time. You're their time. You're time. You're their time. You're time. You're time. You're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're tip. You're tip. You're tip. We're tip. You're too. We're too. We're too. We're too. We're too. We're tip. It's tip. have you log in for the issue like everything needs an account doesn't it these days whether you buy like a smart we got smart watch or a Fitbit or whatever I'm a captain 60 year old to these I'm saying password these days no but but and that's fine because you can sort of manage that but when you have kids they're too young to understand all that. So then you're operating a, like, I've got two kids.

I need to know three passwords for everything. So my daughter's Fitbit weren't working, and it was like, log in, I was like, Why is your daughter? Why is your daughter? She wanted a fit bit, mate. I'm not like cracking the whip, like, you're not having dinner. Yeah. That whole administrative side is absolutely terrifying because

I just I haven't got there yet with myself. Yeah, that's the worst bit for me. I can do the hard yards of the graft. I moan obviously, but the admin side as they get a bit older, that's what I'm staring. They want an iPad and they've got to have an i-cloud account and all that shit. I realize that my problem is that I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I thi- I thi- I thi- I thi- I thi- I thi- I thi- I thi-I've thi-I've got have have thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- th is have got have got have got have th. I've have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have thi-I have thi-I have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have I realized that my problem is and I'm not blaming other people, but I'm not blame other people, is that I think I was just like, it's institutionalized. I went from nannies to boarding school, the like university, then straight to Big Brothers a Big Mouth and then flame. And then there's like, there was literally no room in any of that to like actually become a fully functioning grown up and learn about. Are you Britons McCulley Colkin? I have. You're a child star. I have the toxic parents then I'm calling my baby dog. Do you know what I need to, I do need to

mention your parents because, they cornered me at the Chelsea Flower Show to say how angry they are they haven't been on the podcast. Do you think we should be getting them on Jack? I mean, not only am I aware of that, but I'm aware of it because my mom called me this morning, no, she, sorry, she texted me. She said, please can you call me? Now whenever she does that, I know this is really morbid, but I'm like, my dad's dead. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, not so I call her straight back. And she goes, apparently you're doing the parenting help cost. Well, we were going there first on the parents of Hellconce. I thought he was dead. Like, don't expect to be like that. That's why we didn't book them. We thought he was dead as well.

Anyway, and that was the clue is that the next one was before the podcast if possible. Before they could get a mention. We'll get them on. We'll get them on. So yeah can you, yeah, so when's the baby's due? Well, here's the weird thing. The nurse got all shifty about the due date and then she kind of, I couldn't work out why and then she was like, yeah, so the due date is sometime between the 10th of September and I was like, I'm not in the middle there that you don't want to say for someone. We're pretty certain that the baby's due date is 9-11 but... So September, so what is it now? What are we in now? Do you like, you got a few months?

Yeah. Are you prepping in your mind or are you, it's not happening in your mind? Yeah, some days, like it's very real and there is like you know I actively engage with it and then other days it just feels like this sort of abstract notion that is going to happen at some point in the future. Yeah I've flipped between the two of those on a daily basis but yeah I mean I'm probably going to start like baby proofing. You'll be alright for a bit because they don't move for a little while. The baby proofing's more when after about six months to, no after about, you know, about a year when they're crawling and walking. It's information that I would probably know if I'd read like a single book.

Oh, don't bother reading a book. That's fucking waste of time, Apart from parenting hell the moment. So is this why you're getting you doing the tour now so that because there's normally a couple years between tours So that you can go back out and tour so you're not missing the baby stage I yeah, let's go with that or just complete happy accident I'm not that the tour was put on and then the pregnancy occurred and I realized that I was going to be on to be on to be on tour on tour on tour on to be on to be on the to be on tour to be on tour to be on tour to be on tour the to be on tour the to be on tour to be on tour the to be on tour the the the to be on tour the the the the the the to be on. the the the to be on. to be on. to be on. their. their. their. their. their. their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. And. And. And. And. And. And. And so. And so. And. And I'm going. And so. And I'm going. And I'm going to be on tour sort of right up until she bobbed. So when's the tour finish? I've got a couple of dates in August, which are a little bit dodgy. Yeah, so I'm doing, I finish in the UK in July and then I do something like Canada and America in August.

That's all right. That'll be all right. They feel a bit risky. Well, they normally go over babies, the first babies are normally late, then early. Yeah. Did you know? Yeah. I'm very much, I'm sort of planning on that. Fingles. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.

Because she won't be able to fly either, so she wouldn't be able to be with you. No. Because they can't fly after a certain stage. Yeah. Have you bought stuff stuff. tha tha tha. they they they they tha. they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thoome. thoom. th. they they th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha., yeah. Have you bought stuff? Um, we've bought like, there's something something upstairs. We also, we have a tram already. There's something. It's like, it's for your baby. I was like, oh, yes, yes, the baby, of course. The cuddle, cradle, thing. What was it called? Cuddle cradle? You don't know what it's called? We've had a pram in our, uh, in our hall for the last, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th... the th. the the the the tram. the tram. the tram. the tram. It's there. It's there. There's there, there. There's a there's a there's a there. There's there. There's a there. There's a there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There. There's there. There's there. There's there. There. There. There, there. There. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. radle thing. What was it called Cuddle cradle? You don't know what it's called we had a pram in our in our whole for the last like six months which everyone's assumed was the baby's crab and this was before we'd even told anyone that we were having a baby so like oh you expected him we were like no no no that that prim is actually the dog's pram because our dog was a pram to walk the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog the dog the dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog is the dog is the dog is the dog is the the the the the the the the the the the the the dog is the dog is the dog is the dog is dog is dog bought a pram for the dog to walk the dog back from the vet which is like literally five minutes down the road and like the dog couldn't walk

for like two days but she was like we need to get a pram so the dog has its own pram so there is a dog's pram in the hall which we've had and I don't know whether that can be repurposed as a baby's pram. Is the the the the the the the the the baby. Is is is is it the the the baby. Is is it is it is it is it is it is a specific is it is a specific is a the baby. Is it is a the dog is a the dog is a the baby. Is it is a the th. Is it is a th. Is it is a th. Is it's pram. Is it's pram. Is it's pram. Is it's pram. I. Is. Is a to be a to be a to be to be a to be. to be a to be a th. th. the the the the the dog. is the dog. the dog. I is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Is. Is. Is th. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I t. I t. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. I tog. I t I don't know whether that can be repurposed as a baby's pram. Is it a specific dog pram? I actually don't know but we also have a dog papoose already. Fuck off a dog pupus. There's a dog pupus. No there's not. Which there's like a picture of me with the dog in the puppoos which is just the most masculating image that I would have. Oh my god as peers. As a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's is is th. I th. I th. It is is th. It's is th. It is th. It's is th. It's is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the tog. the the. th. th. th. th. been. As Pierce Morgan seen that it'd have a field day with that. He would not like that. It would be very triggering for peers but yeah we have a lot of like sort of dog baby accoutrements and I don't know whether any of them can be like re-s for a baby but. What kind of dog have you got? one of the ones that looks like it came out of kind of a kind of a kind of a kidder surprise. It's a the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. th. the one. the one. the one. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It the one. It the one the one. It th. It th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a th. It's a th. It of kind of surprise. It's a it's a cavapoo. So it's it. Right. Dog Papoose, I've just googled it and it's one of the misdiscussing things I've ever seen. Have you personally worn it? Have I worn it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But also if you've got a

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Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Are you worried about how the dog's going to react to the baby? Extremely, yeah. The dog is very protective, especially of like Roxy and gets very jealous. I'm worried about what that's going to be like once the baby comes along. You could give the dog attention. That's the way, that's what Robb did. Not Rob. Sorry someone else we did what that. What that. What that. What that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. too. toooooo. toooooo. toooooo. toooo-s. thooooooooooooooooooooooo. Are. Are. the dog attention that's the way you can that's what Rob did not Rob sorry someone else we talked what you did Rob sure sure wash yeah is it your dog or is it Roxy's dog who's dog is it your dog or Roxy's dog oh it's our dog yeah yeah a combined dog was that

a baby tester it was it was such a baby tester and it was like it genuinely trained me up and look the reality is it definitely did the job because you know I don't know whether I was necessarily in the headspace to think about having a kid and I was not like a dog person at all either really and she was like I really want a dog I think would be great and she bought this dog and I was like fine it's ridiculous and it'll make you happy to be great it's a nice to be a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I I I I I I th I th I th th th th to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be great I was I was to be great I to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be t. I I I I try. I try. I try. I try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm then it just slowly began to thaw me and I was like, oh I actually really like this dog and it's really sweet night sleeps on the bed and I'm like, oh god yeah it's it's like breaking me down. My icy heart is melting and yeah before you know it, we're having a kid and it's a very good step if you want to train up your man. Well, I wouldn't have work with you the the the the the th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is to be to be tho-I tho-n' tho-n' tho-n' thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thian thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thatting. It's thatting. It's that that that that that that that that to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toeeeeeat toeeat toeeeeat toeeeean toean tooooooooooooooooooooeni if you want to train up your man. Well, I wouldn't have worked with you Rob because you've got a dog that you hate, haven't you?

I don't hate my dog. I've got a dog, Jack, but for me it's a whippet. It's a whip it. It's a whip it. Lovely, great dog. I love watching him run. Yeah, because he's away from you're not taking him to professionally run. Well, I think I could, he's well fast.

I nearly said he's like a whip it, but yeah, actually is a whip it, you know. I've never had a whip it to say, you know, it's always, it's like a whip it. He's like a whip it, he's a whip. Well, we've got a cat as well, we've got a dog, we've got a dog, we've got a dog, we've got a dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, he's a the dog and the cat don't get on, but we've moved now. Historically, there's never been a great bed for those. If I know anything about dogs and cats. The cat, the cat is now a farm cat. What? It's basically, he doesn't come back in.

He just lives outside now. He doesn't want to come in. We just have to bring it, we just put his food outside now, and he, and he feral. Is that okay? Is that allowed? Because they said you're supposed to keep me cat in for three weeks. It just darted out straight away. So now I've got a cat but he's never in my house. So is it really my cat or do it? Are you sure he's, have you, have you seen? Have you seen him? Yeah, obviously. I don't see him. I don't see him. I. I. I. I. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see. I don't see him. I don't see him. I don't see. I don't see. I don't. I don't see. I don't see. I don't see. I don't see. I don't see. I don't see. I don't see. I to see. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He th. He th. He just. He th. He theat. He just. He just. He just. He just. He just. He just. He just. He just. He just. He just. He th. He just. He th. He just open the door, refuses to come in, then I'll put a bit of food out for him. He eats it and walks back into the woods. Oh, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

He seems to like it. Are there any actual predators in your area that you're under? Um, Nigel Farage lives near? What color is your cat? Is that ginger cat? He'll be alright there. He'll be alright. He don't mind gingers, does he? They weren't on the poster, are they, leading up to ginger people, queuing. They're not taking my jobs. Yeah. Jack, I want to say as well at the moment, you look unbelievable. I'd say you're in, the hair is on point.

I think you're in the shape of your life life life life life having a child. So I think it'll be an interesting experiment, a bit like Tony Blair before it became Prime Minister, to see what kind of effect and drop off being a dad will have on you. How do you deal with tiredness? Because we all remember how ripped Tony Blair was. Fucking out that. Great cheese on those abs in the 97 election. Black hair, no grey at all. Yeah, it's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. Yeah, thi. thi. th. th. the the th. the th. the th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. I thi. I th. I thin. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin. I th. I th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah no grey at all, he looked great. Yeah, that is definitely something that I'm sort of conscious of is that I feel like I will slip into maybe some dad-bond territory in the early bit and I'm quite looking forward for that. Just giving up. Yeah. Really boring and annoying to have to try and maintain some kind of shape. And I only really do it if I have to be on screen, if I'm doing a TV show or film or something. Yeah. Especially if I like, you know, that I have to take my kit off.

I'm like, well, probably be like good to try and make my body look slightly less grotesque. Did you take your top off for the dog film, Clifford the Big Red Dog? Did you take your top off? No, not in that one. I was going to say, how strange. That was the movie one where I haven't taken my kit off because I guess it's the children's film and they didn't want to scare. Because, in every the that, I get naked. The's that like as an experience like filming those scenes? This is quite like this was the first one as well where in the character description when I got the part it said he pulls off his shirt to reveal rippling abs. I read that and I was like well clearly they wanted someone else for this part and it's gone over a couple of different iterations and they've landed at me, which it turned out, I think it had originally gone to like Kit Harrington or someone that had the abs already and yet I'm able to do it so then

it found its way to me. But I was like, I was quite, I was quite like, I don't know, like stubborn on this occasion. I was like, I'm going to do it. You know what? I'm going to because they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could, they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could they could been cast and then I re-read the script and like references to muscles have been removed from the script. It's an honouble moment and they just gone through it and ruined it because you never hope they're like go to the gym and like on any muscle mass. This skinny little pale loser jumps in. This tiny cut pricks. This highly cocked pricks. It's funny cocked pricks. My agent sent me a part once in the instead. This part, oh it's great, Jack.

And it's honestly, it's like it was written for you and I read it. And this character description was Schemo, a measly and pathetic. He's a theaeroy addict. Oh, and it was not a thrown addict. And it was quite quick off the back of that that I got this one that said rippling abs. So it was like I'm going to do it. So I went to the gym like every day for like months and didn't eat a carb for fucking

what felt like ever. And even after that, like I didn't get abs. I just like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I was, th. I was, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi. And, theeeea. And, was like, was like, thea. And, was like, was like, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. like, I didn't get abs. I just lost the tire around my gut. And I was like, this is just so boring. And also, then they were like, you can get a body double if you want. Yeah, we'll just shoot everything with a body double. Because it's only going to be from the neck down the shots where we see the abs. I was like, fucking could have toast for two months. It's horrible. Did they eat toast? The old no toast diet. I loved it.

So anyway, I think I'm just going to eat toast and I'm going to enjoy like, and I can't wait to eat like not probably not baby's food, but like when they get a little bit older like eating fish fingers and like tea time and like gorging and like embracing the dad-bod and then fuck it if I get a part where the light you need rippling abs just get someone else in and shoot him from the net down and exactly also CGI but all this shit that they can do in a Marvel film like you make people fly and put aliens heads on me it's like it's like it's so easy to draw a couple of dots on my gut and then ads I'm yeah yeah I wanted to ask about the the the the the the the the the the the the you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th to th that's th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to the the gut and then adds to it. Jack, I wanted to ask about the, you had a nanny growing up, right, and bauled in school. So what are you thinking for your kid?

Is it, are you going to follow the trend of your family or are you going to, what's your plan? I don't know? With, you know, me and my girlfriend are from very different backgrounds. I'm obviously nannies in boarding school and all of that nonsense. We should get her parents on to really fuck your parents off. That would be the old moment. Let's get Roxy and then Roxy's parents and then the dog and then potentially your parents. Yeah, if you will let me whip it chat. How are there? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Roxy wasn't nannies in boarding school. What age did you go to boarding school? I went at 10. I had an all right time there because my brothers and sisters were there as well and made lots of mates and it was fine. But I don't know. I have quite conflicting views about it.

I think it would, right. I've right now the idea of it sort of slightly disconcerts me and I know it definitely disconcerns Roxy so we're probably not going to. But I'm not ruling it out. I mean if the child's a real shit. They can go at six man. Like I was like I basically I went to boarding school and I was back like every weekend. Right like I went to one where I was like I basically I went to boarding school and I was back like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. I the. I the. I the. the. the. I this. I probably. I probably. I probably not not not not not not not not not not not like like. I probably not not not not not like this. I this not not not not not like. I this. I this. I this. I probably not not like. I this. I the the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'm. I. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I probably. I. I. I probably. Yeah. I. I. I probably. I. Yeahthree months. I went to one where I was like, I basically, I went to boarding school and I was back like every weekend and then they would come down and take me out for the weekend and I was

seeing my parents all of the time and I was like an hour down the road. My dad went to one in the 60s where they literally just dropped her off at the train station and he got on a train to Ampleforth in Yorkshire and then didn't see his parents again for three months. He was insane and he had his brother there as well so I was like well that must have been comfort that your brother was like no no my brother didn't want to talk to me like whenever I came up to him right to play I'm working with him he pretended that he didn't know me because he was embarrassed that I was like oh nice it doesn't seem he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he was he doesn't he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was a that he was a that he was a that he was a that he was that he was that he was that he was that he was that he was that he was that he was that he was that he was he was he was he was there. I was like, oh it's nice. So nice. Doesn't seem to have affected him though, does it? It doesn't seem to have an impact on Michael Wild. He's so great with his emotions. He's so gentle. He's so gentle.

Is that their first grandchild? No, they have a grandchild already. And how much you're going to be using them as babysitters? Yeah, they're a m th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thuuolet, thuolet, so thuler thuler thuler thuler, so thi, so thi, so thatolet, so that, so tho, so tho, so thi, so thi, so that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, so great, so great, so great, so great, so great, so great, so great, so great, so great, so great to to to to to th. So to thatatter, so th. So, so th. I thatting, so thatting, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, thi, thi, so thi, that, that, that, that, that, thi. that's thi. thi. that's thi. thi. thi, so great, so thi, so thi, so. Yeah, they're a mate. So my mom was a dula, so she's unbelievable with kids and it's so like almost a duelor? Oh sorry? Yeah, a dula? What's a d'ula? What's a d'ula? It's like a sort of, it's like a cross between a nanny and a midwife. Right. What say, um, the people come and live in your house? An o'pare? What's an opare is usuallypeir? And Oper is usually from abroad and they're kind of paid a lot less in exchange for kind of they get to live in. Accommodation. Is that right? They're the ones that always end up having the affair with the husband and then. Yeah, yeah I remember now, that's why we come money when youwife are like more medically trained nanny. Right, okay so your mom's gonna be bang on it?

She's gonna be bang on it, yeah. Is she doing the delivery? Oh, that has two on it. That is too much. You can get on with your inlaws, we don't want one taking something out of your vagina. No, no. No. No. something out your vagina. I mean I love Teresa but I wouldn't want her to remove something from me. No, no. Surely Rob if you've got something stuck in your dick and the only option

was Teresa removed it would you say you you're trapped and you've got like something trapped in your dip like a bramble. Yeah I was going to go like a small miniature stapler. Okay, a small miniature stapler is in your day. Or three M&M's. Yeah, and your hands are tied down so you can't get them. Yeah. And Teresa's there and she says, do you want me to get them out? And they'll have a stay there forever or she, all my mother who removes three M&M's in my penis. Yeah. I've th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've th. I've. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You wouldn't just say like turn the lights off and...

And they're like peanut ones or just chalk ones. It makes it worse, doesn't it, weirdly? Just saying out loud, turn the lights off. If anything even creepier, I mean, and she actually, to be fair, she was a nurse, my mother-in-law, so she would be able to do it pretty well. I assume that's why that's that's that that that that that th- She was well. I assume that's why Josh had suggested it. Yeah. We not know that Teresa was a nurse. I didn't know Teresa was a nurse. Can we stop talking about Teresa? We should get her on before we get Jack's parents on.

Just the list. So you think your mom's going to be a huge amount of help? Yeah, I think she will be very, very helpful. My dad is a little bit more hands-off that he's quite affectionate with his granddaughter. It's quite funny seeing them together, does the little voices and is very strange, like this weird side Tim comes out that you don't really see very often. I presume when you were growing up your dad was the authority figure and your mom was the kind of kind of kinder figure. Do you think that that's, where do you think you're going to fall on that scale? Yeah, I feel like Roxy will be better at like discipline and things

like that. I feel like I will let a lot go. I think I'll, I mean I suspect even once the baby comes will be this sort of frustrating Peter Pan figure. I get the impression you've not thought about it at all Jack apart from the headline. I'm giving that. The headline is I'm having a baby and you've read not even like the first paragraph of the story. It's just I'm having a baby and it's coming in September. The worst thing anyone could tell me is that you don't need to read the the the the the the the the the to read the to read the book to read the book to read to read the book the book to read the book the book the book to read the book the book the book the book the book the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the story. It's just I'm having a baby and it's coming in September. The worst thing anyone could tell me is that you don't need to read the books and it'll all be fine. That's the worst thing to tell somebody because I can take that even if it's from a fuck way and I look at Emma and I'm like, wait, you've never even had a kid. Yours is the advice that I'm taking. Not all of the other parents that I've spoken to and the sage advice that I've been given

from people that actually have like collected wisdom and shared experience. I'm like, no, I'll take that one thing that someone said to me in the public. You don't need to do it. And how old was your dad older when he had you? Yeah, he was an 50. 50? 50? Yeah, blind me. How was your dad now? Yeah, he's 73. Behind me. My dad's 80 next next year.

And it is weird when you've got an older dad. Like you just at school, when they're so much older than all the other dads, I don't know if you had it, but I'd used to be really worried that I just thought, because when you're 11 and your dad's like 60, which you know, 50 or 60, you're just like, oh, you constantly just think your dad's going to die at any point and it's horrible and it's really stressful. And then, you know, you get to like, I'm the defaulting, and he's still knocking about it. And I think that was a waste of while. He's took the piss now. It would be an old dad. I always assumed just because that was like my experience

that I would also then wait and be like in my 50s or 60s and be, oh even older I mean, Puccino and Robert De Niro knocking them out in the record. I know you can really like hold your nerve and yeah. But yeah, I never want to be. I mean, am I a young dad? No, I'm just like a normal age dad. But more active than my dad. My dad did nothing. He was the, because he's, I mean, I think he wouldn't have done much even if he was younger, but like, all the sport and like, anything active, camping trips, all of that was all my mom. My mom used to take us on camping trips and my dad would come with us and he would stay in a hotel down on the road. My mom used to do that. We went camping once, my mom drove home 20 minutes to have a shower and then went back and then came back to the campsite.

Have you been camping Rob with your kids? I just don't think we're ever going to go. I just don't think I hated it. I hated camping. I hated camping. I hated camping. I hated camping. I hated camping. I hated camping. Did, I hated camping. Did, I hated camping. I hated camping. Did, I hated camping. Did, I hated camping. Did, I hated camping. Did, I hated camping. Did, I hated camping. Did, I hated camping. Did, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated camping. Did, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated. Did, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I hated. I hated. I hated. I hated. I hated. I hated. I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated, I hated camping. I hated camping. I hated camping. hated camping, did you? Yeah, awful. We went camping to Solkum when we were kids and we arrived. My dad had intended to stay with us. He said, I'm going to do it this time because my mom had been nagging him. And then he walked onto the campsite. He talked to one local lavatory facilities and he literally about to hunt and checked himself into a hotel down the road. Actually, it was honestly, of all all the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It was, th. It was, th was, th was, th was, thus. I was, thololome was, thus. I was, th. I was, tape. We were tape. We were tape. We were tape. We were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, tokeateateateateateat. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. We were tapeat. We were t a hotel down the road. And actually, like it was honestly, of all of the holidays that we had his kids was the

most harmonious, it was great because we could get out of his madness, like to see him for dinner and have a little bit of him and then go out to the campsite and like have fun not be his like watchful gaze or glare. And uh, but then I remember that the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the campsite and like have fun and not be his like watchful gaze or glare and but then I remember that there was some consternation when my sister Molly had a little bit of a holiday dalliance with a local lad called Roy who who ran the camping site and he ever lived in a caravan on the campsite. Me and my brother took great delight in relaying that to my dad. Ha ha ha ha ha. Your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand.

It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just $9.99. So go ahead. You can afford to hoard because Ikea is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Well, you feel like you're going to be a totally different dad because you're so much, you're much more chilled and silly where your dad's obviously quite stern and sort of strict and serious. Like, what do you, from what your parents, how they parented, what do you think you're going

to take from them and what are you not going to do? Yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, I definitely take a bit from both of them. My mom was like very, she's like gung-ho and adventurous and says yes to everything. She's so sociable. She like was always encouraging us to be sociable and giving us like confidence to kind of do things and going on, like wanting to do like adventurous holidays and being really active and then he was like much more kind of like, I don't know, just like reserved and a little bit stricter and I think somewhere in between is probably a happier place to arrive at. Like, they're both quite, they're both extremes and I say I'll probably like fall somewhere

in between those two. But like, I mean, I definitely, like, one thing I'm very conscious of is like wanting to be a little bit more like present and I don't know, I just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu I just thu I just thu thu thu. I just thu. I just thu. I just thus thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. just. just. th. th. just. th. th. I just just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. just. I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm really. I'm th. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I just th. I just. I just. I just. I just. I'm gonna, I don't know, write this script and I'll do another series of this or whatever and I could just cram my diary the minute it gets empty and I'm like, just fucking leave it, just for once, just leave it. That's the one thing that I'm really like keen to do and make sure that I'm like there and enjoying it. What have you got after the tour then? What's coming up? I did this film? I mean, I this film, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th. th. I'm the the the that, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I can can, I can, I can, I can, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I'm, I they. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm tho, I'm tha, I'm toge, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I can't, I can't, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm this film. I mean it's not one of the great works of art called Mother's Day, which is like a Gary Marshall film where he did Valentine's Day and New Year's Day and then he did Mother's Day. And that was again, that was a part that was genuinely written for me because I read it and it was like English stand-up comedian.

I think I can probably do that. And the storyline was that my character had a baby and he was entering into a stand-up comedy competition and then at the last minute like the babysitter pulls out and he has to take the baby from the comedy club and he goes up on stage and does a set with a baby in a papoose on his chest and so I had to do that. And then I had to do that and then in the script there was this whole sequence where halfway through the set the baby shirts itself and I have to take the baby out of the papoos and change its nappy whilst I'm doing stand-up comedy. It was a real baby. It was a real baby. It was twin. So it was like on stage one that had the twin so they? With the baby. It was with, well the weird bit was that I arrived there and like firstly I had to like write this fake stand-up set about having become a dad,

which I should probably dig out because now I could probably use some of the jokes. I had to go up and try it as well because I wanted it to obviously work as like a stand-up routine. And everyone would be like, why is Jack pretending to have a child? And like, because like, because like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, go up in comedy clubs and like road test it and everyone would be like, why is Jack pretending to have a child? And like none of the jokes made sense but I wanted to like just make sure that they sort of like you know were landing. So that was weird and also again completely pointless because then on the day I went and did the jokes and there was like a first ADD standing there in front of this audience that was made up entirely of extras going, laugh, laugh, laugh, actually a laugh. That was pointless.

Have you got him on tour? He'd be great. I was like, can you come with me? Peterborough on a Tuesday night. And then yeah, so I had to go and practice changing a nappy. And so they said, well, we go around to the stage mom's house and she'll give you a sort of lesson. So I arrived at this woman's house who I'd never met before, went in a little bit of small talk and then got to it, just started changing shiapies.

Oh my God. And got like this crash course in how to change a nappie. And became, I was quite good at it by the end and nailed it on the day with a tape that I had to do, whip the baby's legs up, got the nappy off, tucked it off whilst doing one-liners to an audience full of terrified extras that were being barked up. And yeah, went through all of that and then watched the film and they cut the entire sequence. I was like great so I just changed a child's shitty nappy and learned to do that skill for no reason whatsoever, although now. Now, now it's going, do you think you could do it now if it came to it today?

I feel it's like the bit with the legs and the, I think I could. The bit with the legs. Like pulling M&M's out of a cock, it's a skill that you never lose. What shows what if you, the kids go, why did that man come and change our nappies with me younger? Oh, it's for a film. Can I see the film? No, it doesn't exist. Okay. It was cut from the, so there's no proof that there was a reason for this. Just Jack, what all come and want my ass five times? So then left. Oh dear. It feels like the the the the the the they. the they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. that. that. that. that. the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. I. I. It's. It's. I. It's. I. I. It. I. I. It. I. It's. I. It. I. It's. It's. It's. I. It. I. It. It's. It to hold me. Did you have to wait around for him to shit? I don't know, but I seem to remember like, I think, I think the intention, or certainly in my head was that I was not going to be changing a full nappy, but when I arrived she very excitedly told me that one of them had a loaded nappy.

Do you think you'll become one of those stand-up comedians that I didn't think I'd be and I'm not sure whether you did Rob, I thought I'm never going to talk about being a dad. I just can't see it being part of my career and now obviously here I am. Do you think you're going to, this is your last tour where you're not going to be talking about nappies and dullas? It's hard. It's impossible not It's impossible not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not to not to not to be impossible not to be impossible not not to be impossible not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible to be to be to be th thi thi thi thi thi to be to be thi to be thi to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be impossible not to though, isn't it? Because it's just like become such a dominant part of your life. And with a band like you would just like take anything you can as a source of material. So I don't know, this tour definitely feels like it's the last tour of me. I don't know, like there's a couple of anecdotes then I just stop myself halfway through and I'm like, wow this has got to stop it just feels like it's going to get so tragic. Very quick. I need to just get these out of my system now because I can't be coming on here as a

dad in my mid-30s and telling stories like this but yeah it feels like quite a transitional show. Shall I, Steve write the dates Rob? I'll do it at the end, I'll do it at the end. Some of the dates, you are, you know, you say, Steve write up now. Can't stop filling, you can't stop filling your diary. So you're doing 13th and 14th of June in Brighton and 15th of June. Then the 16th, you go to Bournemouth, where you do an early show and an evening show. Then you do Leeds the next day, Leeds the day after, Glasgow the day after that, Sheffield the day after that, Manchester the day after that, Nottingham a day after that,

you haven't got a day off. Yeah, but then the New Cross the day after that, and then after the Liverpool the day after that. And then you have some time on fly from LA to Las Vegas and I do the wind casino in Las Vegas and then I fly from Las Vegas to Cardiff to do Cardiff on the Tuesday night. Then you do Cardiff after Thursday night off then Birmingham, Bermingham, Cardiff back to Cardiff, Cardiff again then the next night and I'm glad you fit this in, Land Did No? Land Did No. Why is Lendon No in there? Where's that come from? Three days off and then I was like, I think I want to like not stop doing the show for

three days because I'm recording my special on the Friday. So I was like, just get me some theater shows so I can start like tweaking it and getting it ready for... You've done about 60 nights in a row already, Jack! I know, but like, yeah, things will come in with the house and I can't do that and then I'll have to start tweaking it and so I don't know. I just like, I wanted to stay match fit so. Where you're doing it? Landon London No and the O2 for the special. Three nights at the O2 to finish and then two nights at the Edinburgh Festival. Yeah, I had a load of jokes about living at home and like how when I was living at home with my parents

like having sex when you're in the same house as your parents is really fraught and I used to love doing that routine it was great and then I was like oh my god that's going to work with the same thing as having a baby in the house and having to have sex yeah yeah yeah baby I'm like oh I can polish off some of that classic classic 2015 bands. That's the problem as well, because we've both got dads that are older that had kids in like late 40s and 50s is that everyone thinks their parents don't have sex anymore. And you sort of like to think, oh they probably don't have sex anymore or whatever, you know,

like as they get old, old people don't have sex. But you know if your dad's having kids at 50, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they get old people don't have sex but you know if your dad's having kids at 50 they're still banging at 80 that's just it's just some people are built different I didn't think my dad was having sex until I spoke to him about the coronation and heard the way in which he spoke about petty mordin walking down that abbey with the sword and I thought, fuck me, he probably had sex with my mother that night. Honestly, I've never heard a man so excited. He was like, probably frothing with excitement and I was like, oh my god, my poor mom that night.

Your mom being forced to hold a sword. A makeshift sword he'd ordered from Amazon Prime. Hillary, turn off the lights and put on Zadok the priest. Hilary, there are M&M's down there. Release them. You're not M&Ms. Those are kidney stones. So, when we had Sean Walsh on before he had a kid, we asked him a few questions that we

thought we'd then play him back the next time he had something to promote so he came off. So he came off. So, Jack, how do you think you'll deal with the lack of sleep? So, Jack, how do you think you'll deal with the lack of sleep? I think I will be fine with the lack of sleep because I am one of those annoying people that can sleep anywhere, like any time of day, like I can sleep now, like I could sleep standing up, I can sleep on a train, I can sleep.

And you sleep with your eyes open as well, don't you? My eyes open, so... Always ready. I could be sleeping now. I the, I, I, I. I. I. I, I. I, I the, I the, I the the the the the the the the th, I th, I th, I th th th th th th th th the lack th the lack the lack the lack th the lack th thi th thi, I'll thi thi thi the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack the lack thi, I th. I th th th th th th th th well don't you? My eyes open so always ready I can be sleeping now. We've had a couple of guests where it's borderline up here. Yeah I'm I think so I'm I'm confident and I'm really made my colors to the master but I think I'm gonna be fine with the sleep thing. That's such a skill to be able to do that. I've had to learn to do that in cars when you get somewhere. Like if it's busy, you get in a car, like just immediately, I can immediately nod off. I'm a real mouth breather as well. So whenever I do, I think, I'm a half-wake-I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to to to learn, to learn, to learn, to learn, to learn, to to to learn, to to learn, to to to learn, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to learn, to learn, to learn, to learn, to learn, to learn, to to to learn, to to to to to to to to to to to learn, to to to to to that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to catching flies. Yeah, I do that like, chr-kh-noh noise.

There's what, how do you sort of half-wake off but then like, the Uber driver's like looking at you in the mirror? What do you think the most difficult thing will be then about becoming a new parent? I think probably the discipline aspect of it, not like being sensible and making sort of smart decisions, I feel like I would just be like, yeah, come do whatever you want and eat at McDonald's every day. I love McDonald's. It's great.

You probably can't do that. Just getting a little. Things like that. Just like giving the kid the phone, like I feel like I'll be like, yeah, yeah, watch what ever you want. I was so judgmental of people like that before I had kids and now it's two iPads out at the dinner table. 100% on holiday, 100%. Ideally four iPads out at the dinner trial. So no, even the adults don't have to talk. You're maybe to a festival. Oh, no, I haven't done that. I don't see the point. Yeah, it looks a bit weird. You're not at a festival if you've you've you've you've you've the you've th you've th. th. th. th. You've got th. You've the th. th. th. thi. th. to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to their to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their thi. I. I. I their their their thi. I their their their today. I their today. I today. I tooo. I too. I too. I to then I do really like festivals. But then again, you're not at a festival if you've got your baby.

It's like, would you go to the festival if you just break your leg and use on crutches? Even if you really like them? I went, like, literally the day after running a marathon on no training, because I really wanted to go to a festival and I'd committed to doing this charity marathon and it was an app, it was so annoying. His friend of mine, he was doing this thing and he was like, right, it's a charity thing, I'm running three marathons, then I'm rowing the channel, then I'm cycling the matter horn, I was like, great, not driving, the matahorn. I'm going to go to end that. To be like, I'm like, I'm like, I, I'm like, I, I, I, I, I, I the end the end the the the the the the the the the, I, I was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm going. I'm like, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm going. I'm going, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, I'm like, well, that last thing. To be fair, to be very cool enough. I'd drive it all if I were you.

I'm not the channel. Normally, I'd be like, okay, fine, you know, just, where's the just giving page? But he was like, I really, like, people are going to be helping me along the way. There's going to be lots of other people involved. You're my best friend. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the best. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the th. the. I. I. I'm not. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm not. I was. I'm not. I'm not. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. th thean. th th threat. th th threat. th th th thto do one section of it. And I was like, what's the easiest section? And he went, well, probably of all of those things, one of the marathons would be the easiest. And I was like, well, if that's easier than rowing the channel

or cycling the length of France, I'll do that. Like, when is it? I'll come and do the marathon and then I'll go to the festival, but I'm not doing any training because I'm just doing this is a favor to you. So I turned up and they were doing three marathons back to back. I pitched up to do the third marathon because I was like if I do the third marathon because I was like if I do the third marathon, they'll be exhausted the before and it's really hard like baking hot I haven't done any training. They are way fitter than me so they are really like still able to like pound it and I'm trying to keep up with everyone and then halfway through the marathon you fucking wants over to me and he's like oh by the way we have had to slightly reroute so so it was going to be sort of left and up over the hills here but we're just going to go straight because there's a little bit of a detour. I was like, oh why's that? He went, well, because on the first day there was some road closures, so we missed out a couple of sections. So we are adding a couple

of miles onto this one just so we are not going to be like, it's normally 23 miles. This one is twenty-three miles. I'm th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I'm thoom-a, I'm thoom-a, I'm tho, tho, the tho, tho, the th. the tho, tho, the the tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, toooooooooooooan, too, to, too, to, thooooo. Well, tho, tho ultramarathon on no training. I got to the end of it. And I was like, I was catatonic, but I think I'd entered like a few state where I was like, I think I'm alright. And I obviously like was, you know, pumped up on adrenaline and all of the fluids and and like sachets of things that they give you and as you're on it. And I got to the end and I sort of collapsed and I was like I'm fine I'll just stick me in the car sent me to the music festival so I got straight into a car having run an ultra marathon drove four hours in a car with my legs like cramping up I passed out in a tent and then the following day woke up in the middle of the festival I was like oh right, let's go and enjoy some music and I got off and I literally couldn't move like my

dog. I was like, oh my god, what's happening? You've run a fucking ultramaric yesterday, you idiot. And now it was like weekend of Bernies. They had to like, pace me up, my friend. And it was, it was the most horrible experience I've ever had. That's tea joke lovely for a baby at a festival. Yeah. How quickly did you do the marathon? How long did it take? I did it in like 10 hours. I got undertaken by the guy in the deep sea diving suit. Oh Jack, well, we'll have you back on once you've had the baby.

Lovely to touch you guys. Cheers, Jack. Good luck with everything. I feel like I'm ready now. You're not ready. I'd say you are one of the least ready people I've ever spoken to. Bring on 9 11. to least ready people I've ever spoken to. Bring on 9-11. No. No. Good luck. Bring on the 10th to the 12th for September. Yes.

Yes. When the baby is due. Good luck, mate. Good luck, to you and Roxy. Send her our love and we'll speak to you soon. Enjoy the tour, tho. Jack White White white white white white white white white white the the the the the the the the the the tha, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thoom. thoom. to you, too, to to to you, to you, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tho. tho. tho. the tho. the thooo. the the tooooo. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. tour mate. Bye. Thanks soon. Jack Whitehall there. I love Jack. He's really good guy.

For someone who's so successful, arena tours, Hollywood films, he's still properly chilled and Jack Whitehall that he's always been. He could be a **** but he's not. No, he's, he's, yeah, almost should be as well. It's someone's like, come on mate. Come on, mate. You should be talking to us, fucking out. But also he's like, you know, when you see him at gigs and stuff and he's always really generous and welcome, he's a really good guy and I think he's got, he literally hasn't thought about having a child at all yet. No. I did feel like I was interviewing him about what it's going to be like to be an OAP.

Do you know what I mean in terms of how divorced it was from his current experience? But you can't be doing an arena tour on filming a show for Netflix and be thinking about other stuff where actually there's no point think about it until it comes? Is there? Yeah, exactly. the reality of it. But yeah, I'm excited to hear how it goes for him because I think he's in for a bit of a shock. And just to repeat, July the 12th is Landidna. Oh, the Lundidno, yeah. And then he's in the, at the O2 on his tour.

Yeah, the O2 mopping up if you, if you miss out on the Lundidno tickets. Anyway, well, I'll see you on Tuesday, thue, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the th. the th. th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. ti. to. to. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. ti. th. th. t. t