Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP48: "I'd love to ride a pig..."

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Before we start, Rob, before we start, I'm stressed. You're stressed. I'm stressed. I'm experiencing stress. It's odd because looking at you, you've done a really good job of the soundproofing. Look at your fucking soundproofing, mate. It looks like you've fallen out with a builder and they've left you that off a job. No, let me show you what. Do you know what Rob? One second. Basically, oh fuck. This soundproofing stuff you order is vacuum sealed, right? Yeah. I didn't realize you have to take it out the packaging like ages for you and use it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. The thin that is. So this stuff I got out last night at home and it got all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all th. thin that is. So this stuff I got out last night at home and it got all big. I don't unpack it all because then I've got to try and carry loads of foam to the office. And now I've got foam on the floor that's currently expanding which is no help to us.

Amazing. I feel like this has done nothing, Michael, correct? It's done almost nothing. Okay, brilliant. so bad sound again from my point, are you? Oh my God, you look like someone who's run out of money on Grand Desire. Do you know what? You're not far off? that's what you want from a podcast? It's looking funny. Right, so next you're called, I'm going to try from a different room. Okay, well, it sounds fine to me. It doesn't to me to. And it looks funny. That's what you want from a podcast, it looking funny. Do you want the intro, Rob? Because normally we start with the intro, but I'm, I needed to talk about that.

Looks good, does it? Looks good. I put that on in about 10 seconds. No shit. Hello, you're listening to Parenting. in hell with. Mever, can you say Rob Beckett? And can you say Josh Whittakum? Good girl, well done. Good girl. West Country?

Uh, hi Rob and Josh, this is my daughter Meva, M-A-E-V-A, who is two and a half years old, and who has just become a big sister to 16 days old Ottilly. Love listening to the podcast, listen to every episode while commuting between the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to witticicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicuuiiiiiiiiiii-aa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-winoa, toea, toea, Ottilly. Love listening to the podcast, listen to every episode while commuting between jobs. Keep up the good work. Do you know what? 339 months, John, originally from Bristol, now living in Somerset.

He's done it. Yes, I've done it. That's turned your day around. That's turned it around. Do you know what, the day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's day's the day's the day's the day's the day's the day's the day's the day's the day's the day's the day's all right, it's just we've got a new school run, haven't we? Yeah. Because we've moved to ours. And today, I encountered four different, I'd say, journey ruining road works. You know some days and you commute, you go, oh, oh, oh, window just shut. Yeah. You're alpha. You're an alpha, right? Oh God.

Yeah, I've been on League of Their Own a bit, you know, guys. Yeah, you know, like, you get roadworks, you turn a corner and you think, well, this has ruined my compute completely. They happened four times to me today. Oh my god. So I was a bit rushed getting in, and the problem is I've got one of these health watches. I've got a Huawei watch. Oh yeah, is that not the one where the Chinese can now know how many calories you're eating? Yeah, but I don't care if they do. You know what? You know what?

I'm very relaxed about data harvesting. Me too. They're fucking welcome to it. Because, you know what? Sometimes I'm. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their. their. their. their. their. I. their. I. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. The. their. The. The. The. their. The. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I..................................................................................................................................... Exactly. I totally agree with you Rob. I try to stand up on this and no one bought into it. People go, they're going to advertise things that you want. Yeah, of course I fucking want that. Over adverts for things I don't want. Exactly. Also, the other watch companies are harvesting your calories aren't they? Surely. That's just everyone's doing it. I could do with a few calories being harvested, I tell you that for free, mate. The problem is it tells you your heart rate and it's really bad when you sit going up when you're in traffic. You're like, oh no, the start falling down.

And I played football last night. I was playing football last night at five-sided. And it basically tells you when you're entering like an intense period of a workout. But I was like, on the run, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. the the the the the, start, I, start, I, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, I, start, start, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, start, and I, start, start, start, start, and I.... And, start, start, start, start... And, start. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, start, I your peak BPN. I'm like, mate. It's hard enough playing football at nearly 40. I don't need my watch getting in my head, do you know what I mean? And it's a real confidence booster to the defender. Your heart rate is reaching peak capacity. That's what you said. I've got nothing left. I don't think that warning's helpful, because it stresses you out.

Well, I think it's trying to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told you're their their their their their their their wi wi wi wi wi, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, warning, their warning, their warning, their warning, their it's trying to tell you like you're working really hard but it's like really loud and an American voice and I didn't know everyone I was playing football with last night so I got a bit embarrassed. And it was so hot that I was on a team that had to wear a bibb so I had my top on obviously like that I wear for football and then put the beard but Itop off. You didn't go skins and bib. I went skins and bibb. However, I didn't realize until I had it on the the beabs had no sides. So I'd like side boo playing football and it's going, you are reaching your peak beat.

I'm like, I don't need that Hawaii. Do you want to cheer up on the stressful journeys? Yeah. I'll just check my you know I've got 10 minutes before the podcast I'll just check my emails. Yeah. Did I tell you I've got a speed awareness course? Oh no you've been spent like I did you've been speeding have you? I did 24 in a 20. The 20s in London are absolutely gutted. Don't even get me started on you less. the way they're trying to get to get the to start. to to to the to the the to get the the the the to get the the the the the the the the the the their their to get their their their to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get to get to get to get to get. to to to to to to to to get. to to get. to get. their their their their their their their their their their their. their. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. try. try. try. try. try. try. te. te. try. te. try. to. try. try. try. try. didn't get you started on ULES. There's a sign saying you need to pay you LES, right? On the... Rob, you said don't get me started on ULES.

I didn't mention ULES, so I've not got you started on ULES. Of course he started it. Josh, I drove through a country lane for 10 minutes, didn't see one other car, saw a hundred deer, and I've got to pay ultra-low emissions owned because of all the emissions. There's no one fucking there, Josh. I also paid congestion charge during the pandemic to drive for a fucking empty London. Imagine paying for congestion when there is no. I would have pity for you. It's not to pay for you. It's not. Rob, I would have p-n't pay pay a pay a pay a pay a big. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm paying a big. I. I'm the the the th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. thi. the the thi. I'm thi. thi. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I's. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I'm th. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. tooooooooooooooooooooffic. to. to. ta. ta. tho tho thi. tax and I haven't got a big dick. It's not fair. Rob, I would have pity for you.

Would mind paying for it if I had a big dick? No, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob. I would have pity for you. If you hadn't spent the last three years, convincing me that you're still living London, even thin' th London, you live in London. I don't claim I live in London anymore. I live in Kent, the Kent countryside. This will cheer you up. Yeah, I didn't get you started about you, Les.

I didn't get you started about you less. Don't even get me started on my cat and dog as well. I need to take the fucking hit, do it with the other people, yeah? Yeah, you know a normal guy? I'm a normal guy. Anyway, I didn't put it in my fucking diary. So, he missed it. No, I've got an email that it's this afternoon. Right, okay, that's not bad.

Can you do it? Well, I've had to cancel personal training, to's fair enough. Yeah, fine. These things happen, sunk cost, etc. Yeah, idiot tax. The idiot tax. And then I thought, well we've got, I've told you this Rob, we've got a little gym in our shed, yeah? You've got a exercise bike in the shed. No, we've got weights as well. You've got what, I don't know, she? Way stronger than me. Yeah. Did you just see that window thing happen? If you had to fight Rose to the death. Yeah, I've thought about numerous occasions this morning. Do you reckon you'd win or Rose? Really? No. She's way stronger. She can do chin-ups and stuff. Yeah, but I don't think that's how you win a fight. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to that's how you win a fight. Wait there, mate. Three. Four. And she's angrier than me.

Is she? Yeah, when she wants to be. When I'm around. When you're getting told off? When I get told off? When was the last time you got told off? This morning. Yeah, I gottolde average screen time come through. Go on.

14 hours a day. That's not true. I'm not even awake 40 hours a day, and I've barely using my phone these days. Maybe you should start looking at the speed on with a screen, mate, you could have screen so much. That's bullshit. That's not, you're fucking, thi. I've started leaving my phone in different rooms to use it less. Fuck you, Apple. I'm moving to Hawawai.

Also, apparently I did 22,000 steps yesterday according to Hawawai. Did you? Well, it's all bullshit. I'm going to be playing football. Yeah, I was playing football. Apparently I run five kilometers in a game of football. Oh, on a five-side pitch. That's good. It's a bad-I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a. I th. I th. I th. I th. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.that watchwanker. No, no, no, let me let that Nickhead who gets him for the health watch. Sorry, come on.

So, I thought, well, I can just work out in the shed. But then I realized we've got the gardener coming and it would be fucking mental. If while the gardener was doing the gardening. You were working out in a shed. I was working out in a shed. I'm, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, th, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. So, I, I, I, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I tho, I tho, tho, tho. So, tho. So, tho. So, tho. tho. So, tho. So, tho. So, tho. So, I tho, I're coming to sort it out. They're coming to sort it out. Right. Yeah, they're not like a regular gardener. They are a doing a job gardener. You know, ground force. They are ground force. Well, he lives across the road actually. I could have just got him to come across the fucking road. Anyway, so what this is a thing Rob? It's a. This is a thing Rob. It lasts. It's at. It's at. It's at. It's at. It's at. It's at. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've got tho. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've got th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. thoo. thoooooo. thoooo. I've got thooo. I've got tho. thoo. I've got tho. I've th. I've the child in the street. No I know you have to pay a fine and they get pissed off and it's fair enough because they want to go home. Do you know what I'd like to do like, imagine just leaving there and turn off at midnight and just throw the money in their face and leave? How'd you reckon that'll go down? I think. That'd be very out of character for you, just in 50s as well. to. to to to to to to to to th, to th, th, th, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, thi, to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, to go. to go. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their tho, tho, tho. thoomoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thooomorrow, thoooooomorrow, thoo. tho of 50? I tell you what you need to do, mate.

Speed. I know that's the fucking problem, Rob. I'm going to watch two hours of people dead in speeding accidents, and then I'm going to get in a car and be doing a race across London. Not that I would speed toe anyway, because It says it that I was at 24 and I'm totally get it because speed kills. He does kill. Oh could I tell you something also? Another bad thing that's happened. You know when I got those bites? Yeah. I've got some more bites. I got one on my ring finger and it's swelled up and I can't get my ring off. Can you see that? Oh no yeah little fat ring finger. Root said? the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, thine. Oh, thine. Oh, thine. Oh, thi. Oh, yeah, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, I I I th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh take your ring off. I'm like well that's the fucking problem. So you can't now? No. Have you anti-histamine on it? Yeah and I've got them on my chin as well. Can you see it? Oh I get a

heat rush if that makes you feel better? Yeah the heat can fuck off but weird. This is recorded when it was too hot and now it's probably fine and you're listening to this. Yeah, because this is a correspondence one, isn't it? Let's do some correspondence. Have you got anything more you want to talk to me about? Sorry, that was a bit passive aggressive. It's like something Rose said's do that. This is timeless. It was my fault, 100% my fault. Go on. Do you know when Lou goes away? Yeah.

No, sorry, when you go away. Yeah, and Lou actually quite likes it because she just does her thing. Yeah, I think she quite likes getting into a little rhythm. But I don't mean she liked it when I'm away as much, but she gets a to annoyed, you're a disruptor Rob, you're like Dominic Cummings. But I like my rhythm in the morning now. I get up, I do teas, feed the cats, open the blind, open the curtain, empty the dishwasher, make the bagels, make the porridge, wash up the porridge. I love my rhythm.

You're loving it, you're buzzing off just telling me I can see it in your eyes. Yeah and I leave my phone upstairs so it doesn't distract me despite what my fucking phone's telling me which isn't true. 40 hours like that's bad Josh you said you're feeling quite good at the moment. Well that's not true Rob. That's really bad. Do you speak to your kids at all or is it just it's because I leave it on brown noise overnight. Oh right. Why is a way the way the way the way the way the way's a the way's a the way's a the the the they. Why is a the the they. Why is a the the the the that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. that's th. th. that's that's that's th. that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th's th's th's th's th's th's th's thin thin th. thin th. tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho tho to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho'm so bored of the brown noise. It's fucked up my Spotify, it's fucked up my screen time. I need to buy a brown noise machine, but none of the ones on Amazon, this is a fucking problem, give you a sample of the fucking noise. You need to know what noise you're buying. What if you buy it and it's a noise you don't like? What's what people go, oh the High Street, you know, if one orders online you go,

like, you're in the middle of the High Street, right? Go and find a brown noise machine, no chance. Where would you even go? John Lewis? I don't know. Argos? Maplin's? Mattlin's.

Matt, I still going. Yeah, Dixon's? Gone. Carries? What was on that started with a queue? I don't know. Our price. Our price. Our price was just records. No, I bought Grand Fifth Auto from Our Price in Elm Street, the day before release, because I used to do that back in the day. Yeah, that was unbelievable. Oh, I loved it. I was all right. Computer Nurd. Yeah. Kew up at midnight to get computer game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the th. the the to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tip. tip. tip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I tip. I tip. I tip. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah, me too. It's a queue up at midnight to get computer games. Did you? Yeah. Were you a midnight queue up? Yeah, Grand Fifth Daughter City, Canterbury High Street, game midnight. Oh my lord. And I didn't have a game card.

And I bought a console and a game. And there was a kid. And I don't know if a loyalty card. And he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to to have. to have. to have. to have. to have. to have. Yeah. to have. to have. Yeah. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the too. the the too. the the the to. the the to. the to. the to. the to. to. the to to to the to, I went, come get the points. Oh my God. That's kind of guy I am doing. Oh my God. You know? Because in 15 years, mate, I'm going to be on sky. Looking at me now, and I'm doing the 630 to 3.30 AM to PM shifting Marks and Spencer's Canterbury, but one day. Yeah, I'm not going to need these fucking points. What's that? Did I see you going into a travel agent to pay eight quid towards your holiday to Corfu next year? Yeah you did

actually but don't worry about that. Things are going to change. Things are going to change my boy. Once I get this computer and computer game I'm gonna really put the work in. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Elevate your morning coffee ritual. From the first sip of coffee in the morning to the on-the-go cup. Make every morning unforgettable with Nisprosso. Discover a world of possibilities with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.C.A. to learn more or an espresso boutiete near you. Miller Light.

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Did I ever tell you when I went to a cash point and it was paying double? No. What did you do? So I was at uni in Manchester? Yeah. Did you take it. Yeah. So I was like Brassick. I was fucking you know you don't have any money when you're at you know. But you don't care. You just live very frugally yeah. Frugally. So we were going to see the yay a yes in London. Yeah. And we were at Victoria Station and the cash machine was paying double.

So if you asked for 20 quid you got 40. I mean yeah I don't think you needed that bit. I'm not an academic but I can do double. If you said quadrupled I need your help. Okay so the cash machine was paying double so if you wanted a hundred quid. Yeah so what if you ask for like 50 quid? You've got a hundred quid? Ten? It was actually the 50 quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid quid th quid th quid th quid th quid th quid th quid th quid th th th th th th th so th so if you asked th so if you asked th so if you asked th so if you asked th th th th so if you asked th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th so th so th so if th so if th so if you th so if you th so if you th so if you asked thi thi thi thi thi thi thi so if you thi so if you thi so if you thi thirty qua thi so if you thi thi Yeah, so what if you ask for like 50 quid? You've got 100 quid? 10? It was actually the 50 quids wrong and the tech, because it was paying double 20s. So there was obviously something wrong with the 20 feed. Okay. Every time you got a 20s you got a 20s.

Lovely. Okay. I didn't know how much to take out because obviously long queue and it's because everyone who got to the front was having the same kind of moral conundrum. And also are they going to find out it's paying double and then they're going to retrospectively bill it back to you. Also you're going to have to go out in London on a Friday night carrying four quid. So what did you do? Got 20 twp. the 40 creed. All I can afford. The card machine swallowed my brother's card ones in Eltham Eye Street and I remember him getting so angry punched the cash machine. That's got to be the hardest thing to punch in the world. You get to pick something harder. I don't think you could an an anvil. That'll be it. Right should we do some correspondence. I've the word the word the word th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. C. C. th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. C. C. th. th. th. C. th. C. t. t. tole. touch. touch. touch. touch. tole. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I'm. Ivil, that would be it. Right, should we do some correspondence? Yeah, come on, here we go. I've got one here. Josh's word and comedian, Google search game.

Oh yeah. Oh, this is what we're saying, to try and find people on Google. Oh, it's James Acaster's word and goce. Yes. Oh, is it? James Acos. Um, Hobbit and comedian, yes. th. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. back on me that quickly? Well, yeah, you're straight up. If you're driving Hobbit and Comedian, it's just you. Yeah, fair enough. Let's have a look. Yeah, along with actual Hobbit. It's only because you, in interview, said that you audition to be a hobbit.

Yeah. Your most hobbitt you've seen, I've got a hobety to wear the fake feet. You've got them big feet, and yeah. They've got hairy feet. You've got big airy feet, haven't you? I haven't got hairy feet, of course I haven't got hairy. You've got any hair on your feet? You've got bald feet? I haven't got a bald feet. So you got hairy feet?

They're normal. But they're hairy. But yeah, keep sending them in, but yeah, Hobbit and comedian works for you. That's a grim stop. Let's do tall comedian. Who'd you caul come up? Merchant, Tom Davis? No, they're too many of them. Greg Davis? Tom Davis?

Yeah, so that doesn't count because there's too many of them. It's got to be one. Short comedian. Okay. I regret. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tode. tode. tode. tode. tode. tode. tode. today. today. today. today. today. today. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tome. tomea. tomea. tomea. today. tod short. Yeah. Right. What would Rob Beckett do? Some parenting advice. Hi, Rob and Josh. This is something I've never really mentioned to anyone else in fear of being judged. Absolutely great start. But I'm hoping I'm not the only one. If your young child, say age between one and four is given money for their birthday, what do you do with it? I for one pocket it. I mean they have no idea what it is or what it does. Then I put it towards a supermarket shop because 95% of that is going for them anyway, right? It goes towards nappie, snacks, wipes, etc. Am I a bad mum for not putting it in an account for them? So when this happens with us and they get money, we used to put it in the like whether our keys are as like money for takeaways if we need cash.. know sometimes window cleaner, sometimes you need cash. You've got soda and lime from a pub. What? You've seen your drink? Oh do you know what? When I was on holiday

Rob? Yeah you look like you're in a pub. In the morning at the breakfast buffet they had fizzy water with cucumber and lemon in it and it was incredible so I've decided to implement it in my own life. You are you are a change? th. th. th are you feeling about when you get busier? Well, that's the test, isn't it? Yeah. Anyone can beat, you know, Crystal Palace at home. Well, exactly. The problem is when I go to Stanford Bridge in September. You know, when you've got a podcast in the morning, speed awareness in the afternoon, lifts and mates at lunchtime. Yeah. It's a the the sorry, we've been distracted. What we do is we leave it on the side and we sort of go, oh what we do is, because they've got little Go Henry card things. Yeah. I think they're called Go Henry, I can't remember those little. So we've been losing, oh yeah, we'll transfer some money into their account and it doesn't always happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who they's they's they's the they they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. And they they they they they. And they. And they. And they they. And they. And they. And they they. And they they they're they're they're their their their their their th. their their their their th their th their the. they're they're they'll they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll really little. True, some Nan the granddad's do, yeah, don't they? It's more useful than another toy. Well, Lose Nan and Granddad, great Nan and Granddad,

came round to see the new house and gave... I'm sure you like them, Rob, you don't need to give them a review, but fair enough. Oh, lovely stuff. Oh, lovely stuff. And they gave the kids a five of each cash, which is quite sweet, kids are inside. That's nice. Did I ever tell you about when my great-grandma died? Go on. Why are you laughing?

No, just because of that clip of when my granddad died. How did she die? Older. You can't die of old age, can you? But the late 90s, so you know, one way or another. Yeah, just older, older, a bit hot, bit hot fucking out. I could go today. I imagine when you get to like 97, you know, sometimes I lay in bed and the alarm goes and I think can't be bothered. And I think basically, and that's your mind but your body goes, and I think that's the the mind. But your body goes, theyreve, thirty seven. to you're boved. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I's, I'm th. th. th. th. th. thin. toe. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. toe. th. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. you're right, let's not. So that's what happened to her. Lovely woman. Lovely woman. I don't really remember that well,

but she seemed nice enough. She left my generation, so she left money for her children, and then she skipped my parents' generation. And then she left her 15 grandkids, 800 quid each. That's nice, isn't it? Yeah. I don't know why she made that decision. I suppose it's like give the money to them and then also something for the youngsters. I suppose.

Yes, fair enough. And then the people that are like 40 and earning, they probably don't need. So what did your mom and dad do with the money? They said I could have it. That's good. Yeah. I think you. I you. I you. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that. I th. I th. I that. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. that. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's the. that's that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. th. F. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. the. it later on. Yeah. So there was five different sets of kids that were these grandkids so there's like different policies. I've got cousins Rob whose parents just used the money. Yeah. What would you have spent eight hundred quid on as a ten year old? That as a ten year old that is mind blowing money. It's fucking what in the 90s as well remember. I'd be thinking could probably get a flat in a small car now. We should have fucking got a flat. If I could have got a flat in London at that point, it would

be worth four million quid now. What did you spend it on? I spent 350 quid? Yeah. Off the bat on a stereo stack system. You know one of those ones that had CD, tape. Oh, yep. You know, with separate speakers. Matsui? Sony, like proper good. Oh. And I had that until I went to uni. So that was an incredible spend of money. The rest, I think I frittered away. Frittered it.

650 Fritter. But I know what my last purchase was, but I don't want to say it because you're going to take the piss. That's what this podcast is. We stop doing that it's over. Yeah okay. One word Rob. Go on. Rubber Johnny's. Warhammer. War. So definitely not rubber jonnies. No need for rubber jonnies there. Wow. You're a warhammer guy. Do you know what I always respected those guys. For six months I was a warhammer guy. I always respected the Warhammer guys because Grand App in Southeast London, if you walked into Warhammer, you are basically saying, come and bully me. Don't worry about it. I've got it, just coming. Let's do it now. Well, your friend of mine who mentioned on the podcast recently, Will Briggs, he got a beaten up in Exeter for carrying a warhammer bag.

Oh, and he got his warhammer bag stolen off him I think. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah. I mean, because I like little figures and quite nerdy stuff, but I was sort of good enough at football to get by with the football lads. I was quite a secret warhammer as well. Really. I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was sort th. I was sort th. I was sort th. I was sort th. I was sort th. I th. I th. I th. I that, th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. tote. tote. tote. tote. tot by with the football lads? I was quite a secret warhammer as well. Really? So have you still got your little warhammers? No I don't. So I did a certain type of warhammer. Right, okay. Oh god. Because what does warhammer mean? I don't even understand? I know they're little warhammer is. It's like it's lead figures. It's like, it's a bit like dungeons and dragon. Yeah, so sort of like lead figures with. But you wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa. I. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wa. I wa, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. to the war. the war. their. their. their. their their their th. th. th. th. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. I so sort of like lead figures with... But you paint the figures yourself. Right. So you get little lead figures and build an arm and you paint them yourself. I used to hate painting them.

I had no interest in fucking painting them. I was shit here. Really? How was the B.O. situation in store? It just looked smelly. But I don't know if it was. Yeah, I was certainly bringing some. I'll tell you that for free. So you'd go to Warhammer and could you paint it in there or do you just buy it in there or do you battle in there? You buy it in there. I mean, this is not going to help my coolness. Come on Josh talks with. I used to paint it with my grand. So you had man who used to help you paint your figure. In the shop. In the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. thethere, not on front of the guys. I'm not fucking nerd. My grand was much cooler than any of the guys in the Warhammer shop and me.

Let's be very clear, rather. What was your little team called? So I did an offshoot of Warhammer. Yeah, which was called Blood Bowl, which was like a kind of... Go on. A board game based around a violent, a violent, a violent, and violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the violent, and violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, the violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, violent, Right, okay. A bit like, so it's like Hogwarts and Quidditch. Yeah, but like more violent and full of like zombies and, you know, trolls and... Right, okay. See that I love little figures and little nerdy games but I don't like fantasy. That's what I struggled.

No, I hate fantasy. I hate fantasy, so I'm not sure why I was into it. Yeah, but it was a strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange I really respect it because it's, as you say, I really would encourage people to do what they're into their into fantasy. I don't like Game of Thrones. I don't like Lord of the Rings. I hated Lord of the Rings. But they're so small, Josh. How did you paint them? How small's the brush? They're fucking impossible to paint Rob. They're so shit and so impossible to paint my painting was so shit. And you get told what color to paint them or do you do whatever you want?

You do what you want but you tend to just do it like they do it in the magazines where they do it. Unbelievable. So you had magazine subscription as well. White dwarf? What's that? That was the name the magazine. He's off his face on white dwarf. He's only's only just got a spy. Oh, I love it. Absolutely love it. Oh, God. Mortifying. Anyway, that's how I spent the last to my 800 quid. A bit like Brewster's millions, isn't it?

Yeah, it's expensive those sort of hobbies. But that's what you spent your money on. Fair play. Yeah. Right Robin Josh, just listen to your episode where he talks about what your kids call their grandparents. My 20-month-old called her uncle Sam Ham, which is a particularly dig as he's vegan. This has now been upgraded to spam. Oh, that's unfair. I love the podcast gets me through many stressful day, to the the their their their their their their to their to their thi thi to thi thi thi to thi thi their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I to to to thathea to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. to to to to to to to to th. I to th. to th. to thin. thin. I's to thin. thin. t. to to to today today today's today's today's today's toe. toe. toe. today's today's today today trums, I thanks Rosie. Also as well, on my new commute, Josh, or school run, I see a woman with a young baby that she walks.

Every time I've driven past, she's walking the baby. And I just get the feeling that that is a tricky child inside. So massive respect to the lady that walks her baby in, up and down a road with a sunken sad eyes. You will get through it. Don't panic. As she got headphones in? Headphones in, I don't feel like that's working. Maybe she needs this podcast. Yeah, yeah. Hi Rob Josh and sexy Michael.

You know Michael, he sends us these? Do you think he's adding those kind of things? After listening to the episode about weird lies kids liked to tell everyone, her granddad was Elton John. And he used to climb out of her TV at night and sing to her. She kept it going for years, until about year nine. No, people weren't buying that work. Prevuebessent teenage kids are fucking mental. They will do some weird, It was just look at like fans of boy bands.

Oh my the Like the One Direction fans, you know, or like BTS, they are a different level of committed. They blow your Warhammer connection. There was a take that help line. When take that split up, there was a help line. Mainly for Howard and Jason, I imagine. Lovely stuff. Yeah, better fun. That was Lana in South Shields, I should say. Not that joke, I mean that email. Good, great one from her. I've got another good granddad one here.

Hannah Rob and Josh, on the subject of what kids call grandparents, we decided to make it football related for granddad's. So long story short, my dad is known as Grandad Hoops, because he's a QPR fan. Yeah, that's good. My wife's dad is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. fan and he's called Grandad Stripes. Oh that's nice. Our daughter is 13 and still calls him Hoops and Stripes. They sound like a rap duo. I like that. I think that's good. Grandad Hoops and Grandad Stripes. Thanks with the constant laughs. Theo and NERYS? NERYS?

NERYS? NERY-YS? Yeah. NER. We've gone a long time without a BUMA story, haven't we? This is a longest correspondence episode without a boomer story we've ever done. Boomer me up, bitch. Hi, Rob and Josh. When I was born in 1990, is that a boomer? My boomer parents had a small van that my dad used to work to drive us around him. Yes, the parents are boomers. Skin of his teeth millennial. The the the the the the the the the the the thum. My thum. My thum. My thum. My thum. My thum. My tho thum. My thuuuuuumer thumer thumer thumer thumer thum. thum. thoom. thumer thumer thumeroomberoombermumaumaumaumaer thoombermumaer thoombermumaer thoombermumaer thoombermueuomberbermueue thumer thumer thumer th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thuuuuuuuuu. thu. thuu. thu. thuuuuuuuuu. thooooooooooooooooom. thooooooooooom. thuuuuuuuuuuuuu's a millennial. Yeah, yeah. Skin of his teeth millennial. The front only had three seats. So when I came along, my brother, older brother, then five, had to sit in a deck chair in the back of the van with only a Ninja Turtle walkie to keep in contact with us in the front. Fucking brilliant.

Who's this? What's the name? Erin? Eering? Eering? Eering. Eering. Eering. Eering. Eering. Eeren in? their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. the the the. the. thea. thea. thea. to. to. to. the the the the thea. the thea. the thea. the. the. the. the. th? What's their name? Erin in Lenzi, I don't know where Lenzi is, L-E-N-Z-I-E. I told you, I used to sit in a footwear on my dad's taxi, didn't I? If the cab was full. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. At least you're in the same bit of him. This is in Scotland, Lanzi. That is incredible. So he was in the back of a transit van with a walkie talkie with a walkie talkie to keep in contact in the front. Classic rumor. I would think that would be quite fun wouldn't it? I couldn't put my kids in the back of a van and drive for a

deck chair. It's the most unstake. No, no, for the kid. Is it though a dark van? No, I'm not saying, I'm not recommending it. I'm not, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not recommending, I'm not, I'm not recommending, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi, thi, thi, thi. I'm that kid, that's 1990s, so it's mid-90s they're doing that. Yeah, I mean, I'd go for a more stable chair. If there's a chair that could be struck into in the boot, but going around a corner in a van in a deck chair, I'd be petrified, wouldn't you? Yeah, of course. Of course. Can I just say, Rob, go. Xer is all of this. There's a comedian called Jake Lambert who we're both know. What I am sure are very funny videos because he's very funny about the

difference between the generations. I don't know what the different generations are so I don't understand them. Do you know to let you know? What am I? What am I? So do you know them? Do you know them without looking? Yes I know them but I've just looked it up to give you the exact date. So when was you born? 83. So you are a millennial. But that doesn't feel right. I don't feel like I'm a millennial. 81 to 96 is millennial. But aren't millennials younger than me? No, we're old now. There's another two generations after us now. But aren't people growing all these? So what's a millennial? A millennial? Melenial? Well, the thinneneu is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is 81 is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to to to is to is to to to to to to to to to to to is 81 to is 81 to is 81 is 81 is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to is to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to 96. to 96. to to 96. to the one before, Gen X? Gen X? And then before that is Boomers. So I feel like I'm Gen X. Maybe I was just like an old guy early on. Yeah, well I think you, I think you are a Gen X really in a millennial year. And then beyond there is the Zuma's, the Generation Z.

The Zemaz. And then, born between 2010 and 20, so our kids will be generation alpha. Right. I don't know who gives them these names, though. No. So what's Michael? Gen X? Yeah, because he's older than me. All right, why are you bringing that up? Poor on Michael. And it was before Gen X, a boomer. Yeah.

There's got to be something before. The silent generation. the silent generation. The silent. generation, 1901 to 27, and then the lost generation from 1883 to 1900. Who makes up these names? There we go, I can enjoy Jake's videos now. Okay. Here we go. Hi, Rob and Josh. When I was about 14, I developed an allergy to horses. Less about you. If I got near them, I would get a rash, streaming eyes and have trouble breathing. At the time, my dad had a horse, in brackets, midlife crisis.

That's an extreme midlife. That is. But before we do this one, what do you reckon your midlife crisis is going to be? I think I know what it's going to be, Rob. Go on. What's that? me and Rose had a discussion on holiday chat. So what towel you gonna get? Just a huge anchor on my arm. Although I do like an anchor. Would it be an aesthetic thing or would it be like a spirituality thing? I think it has to mean something. That's what Rose said. Yeah. And I took that on board. She was talking about getting the initials of our children. Right, okay. Where about? On her cheek, like a tatoe but got it wrong. She's. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I th. I th. I th. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. That. That. That. That. That. th. A. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A. th. A. I th. I th. I th. I th. I okay. Where about... On her cheek, like a tear drop. Do you know Lou got a tattoo but got it wrong? What do you mean? She's got a few toes, she's got like a snake on her arm,

she's got something from East of Eden totaled on her ankle. She had like a little symbol on one of her fingers. And then she got the Capricorn sign. Yeah, the star sign, Capricorn on her hand because she thought I was Capricorn correct and both her children Capricorn. Yeah nice. Incorrect. Oh no. So she got the Capricorn Star song she thought that. You've got to check that before you get inked. You've got to check it before you get inked. So she got it covered up in the end but she got a capricorn for us rather than doing initials. It's funny. Oh I'm going to do it to do it to do it to do to do the to do the to do the to do the to do the to do the the to do the to do the the the to do the to do the the to do the to do to th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the th. th. their. their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I thi. I te. I'm. I te. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm It's funny, isn't it? Oh, I'm gonna do, I might do initials and then I might do something else, I might just get into it. I like the idea of it. I want to get a tattoo, but it would be more for things to remind me to be present and to be... Yeah, exactly. Well, do you know what I was thinking about getting stuff to my kids and wife's initials, I think they'll just stress me out. It would be a constant reminder of responsibility, which I think he's good.

So I was thinking of getting a tattoo of my, the title of my favorite blur song is also a very good thing about not drinking and being present. Yeah, okay. Because I'm always like... Park Life. No, it's for tomorrow. Oh, that's nice. And I'm always like if I don't th th th th th th th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiolo- thioluo- thiolu thi. thi. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to toe. toda. today today toe. today toe. toe. thi. thi. thi. right? For tomorrow. Ah, that's nice. And I'm always like, if I don't drink today, then I'll feel great tomorrow morning. Yeah, because you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow. Exactly. What you're doing now is for tomorrow. Yeah. I thought that might be quite nice and then I'd also get, maybe I'd get my kids initial I'll pay for that, hopefully pay for it. Nada for me. Yeah, that's nice, that's a nice one. Yeah. And where would you get it?

In what way? Probably on the arm? The way I look at it, I'm not saying you've got. No. I'm not ripped enough. I think need to have a tackle and a body part you're quite proud of. I'm not saying that you're not proud of your arms, but... But it hurts on your dick, Rob. The problem is you need to do it flaccid.

They can't do it properly under the erect feeners. But I might get... I might do it on my legs or my chest. No. Because my arms and legs aren't bad, my midsection is an absolute mess. And July 1st, we've got to do our tops off for July 1st, haven't we? Oh my God, I've got to really go for this, yeah. Okay, protein pancakes. So yeah, I might get something on my arms or legs, but I need I need to work out what it is I want. But I think you can think forever. Yeah, let's do it. All right, let's do it. Ah! My arm hands just went. If you are a tattooist. No, no, no, no, no, we'll get a million people. We'll find someone.

We'll find someone. It's like Derenboubjoub's choosing people out the audience. If they push themselves forward, they're probably not the person that you want. Yes, exactly. What does Possible sound like for your business? It's having to spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions of Live, visit Amex. to their sa slash business platinum.

Right. Another story? Yeah. Maybe I'll get my daughter to write the word for tomorrow and then that could be the font. I agree however you've got to just keep making a redo it so it looks neat. She'll do those backwards letters. Oh for fuck sake. Yeah just like I might wait till she's 11. The handwriting's really on point. Did we get to the end of allergy to horses? Oh yeah no we didn't sorry we didn't sorry go go oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh the the the the the the the the th oh oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the tho. the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. the thoo. thoo. the. the. the. the. we get to the end of allergy to horses? Oh yeah, no we didn't. No, sorry, we didn't, sorry, go on. So when he got home, he'd have to get changed and have a wash from his horse. One day we sat down for dinner with the family and I sit next to my dad. As we sat down and I asked him to ask him to the taurown, he said, he said, he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the to to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the thea thea thea the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toda today, today, today, today, to get tight. I asked him again if he changed. He said, yes of course, about 10 minutes later I was having a big reaction. My dad decided to confess. He said, I was testing to see if it was a real allergy or if it was psychosomatic.

You sick horse buying fuck. Yeah, fair to say it's pretty cross thanks Olivia from Philadelphia via Yorkshire. Fucking out. Who buys a horse? Well my parents have got horses. Midlife. Oh no they had them in early life. Did they used to ride them? Uh, yeah, a bit. Funny, isn't it going for a ride on your horse? I hated it. I fell that they put me on a horse. When I was, and that was it, when I was about six. Game over. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not not. I not. I not. I not a not a not a their their their. I not. I not a their their. I'm not a their. I'm not a their. I'm not a horse. I've not a horse. I've their. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had their th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had the. I had the. I had the. I had the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. but oh gonna get a horse to the girls absolutely not I can't think of anything worse or horse riding in general I fell to the opposite side to where my dad was so he just had to grab my ankle I was basically being dangled over a horse is that stressed you out you've panicking about horses now forever I just don't like what they're big they're fucking big they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're too too too too too too too too too too too too they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're too they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to too to too to to to too to they're they're they're they're to to'll give them that, but they scare me. Do you know what I'd like to ride? I'd love to ride a pig. I feel like they've got a bit of whip to them.

You're not too high if you fall off. Yeah. Did you ever do Donky Darby? Fucking out. Yes, I've been on don't donkeys. Not donkey d'a. as a kid, but one just belted off I remember and then one was screaming. Yeah, they're fast. When we went on a holiday to Pembrokeshire there'd be a thing called, I mean this can't happen now. Donkey Darby. Is this real donkeys or the game at the fairground? Real donkeys. Right. And this guy would basically turn up in a field with a lorry

donkeys. This is like a story that if you said which which which which which which which which which which th. story. So we were on holiday in Pemmucch and then we go to Donkey Darby of an evening, guy with like eight donkeys and he'd mark out a track and he'd put eight kids on the donkeys. Yeah. And he'd stand behind and go, like to get them going and then the donkeys were just fucking go and you'd race on the donkeys and you'd invariably fall off. Yeah did anyone else do that? Did you ever do the cheese rolling thing? Is that near you? No, you're obsessed for the cheese rolling. That's the summer set. And that's not you. Donkey Dive was in Pembrokesh are in Wales. Right, okay. Well, the big sheep down in Devon, that's where they race sheep. But there's no kids. No, no. It's just part of the big sheep fairground. thir. three. thagagagagague. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the the their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thee. thee's the more. Here we go. Future Boomer story. Greetings, he's a quick potential modern boomer story I plan on telling my kids.

Okay. Milo 3, twin 1 and 2 minus 2 months. What? They've got twins and aren't born yet. Oh, right, okay. So she's got Milo's 3 and she's got twins on the way. I'd say, just say pregnant with twins with twins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. two. two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two. two. two. two. two. two. Two. two. two. two. Two. Two. two. Two. Two. Two. two. Two. Two. two. Two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tttttttthe. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. twins on the way. I'd say just say pregnant with twins, not twin one and twin two minus two months. It's like a logic puzzle that they put in a daily mail to see if adults can do GCSE maps. Working out ways to keep them safe in the future I plan on telling them never to drive over 88 miles per hour as they'll be transported in time, since their car won't have the correct timing circuits, they could end up anywhere and stuck in that period of time. To back up this parenting lie, I've decided to tell them, people driving classic cars are all people who drove over 88 miles an hour and have planned to tell your kids to keep them safe or shield them for the world a little bit longer. Peter and Emily. That's a decent one you know. Yeah. Mine are getting a bit too clever now. Yeah. Mine are getting a bit too clever. they're getting a bit too clever. And you can start to see they're becoming little adults. Yeah. And I think this is a stage where people, a lot of people, you know the people that have got the eight-year gap between the youngest and then the third one? Yeah.

This is peak like, oh, should we have another one? But you cite drugs, you're chasing the hit of the squishy little cute baby stage. Rob, two words. Yeah, for tomorrow. Remember when you wake up tomorrow, when I'm saying that's what Lou was. That's when he's saying little white lies. Now, I'm getting to point where I can't really get away with them. Is Lou thinking about it? No, we're absolutely dead against it.

She's thinking about another dog, though. Another one? You don't even like the first one. I don't mind the first one. I just don't like him. Imagine if I have enough one, I absolutely love the other one and he's literally the dog. It's personal. It's actually personal. Small business shout out. Right. Still business. Hi.

I like this one because it goes, hey, hi, hello. Rob Josh and Michael. Oh, good guy. I don't know what this is going to be, but I like the greeting. I'm a long-time listener and living proof that you haven't managed to put everyone off having children. As when I started listening back in 2020, I had zero kids. Fast forward for a pandy D and three years later, I'm a proud and knackered, the wild,ALL-Y-space Mallow, MALL-Y, S-MA-L-Y, named after my kid Mallory. Each month I release a new menu of entirely new flavors of gigantic Rocky Road, Jumbo, Mallow Cubes and Tubbs of Mallow Fluff.

My daughter loves Marsh Mallow. With Instagram, that was me adding that, by the one. With Instagram followers voting for what flavors they want to see see see that's good. This month's menu includes Crunchy Rocky Road, Mallow cubes in mint, chop chip, lemon meringue, cinnamon roll, and a cherry-bakewell fluff tub. Fluff tub. You can find us on Instagram or tick-tock at Malley.mallow or tc.ock at tock at Malley.malo too, or head straight to our website. Cologne forward slash, forward slash, W.W.w.mallow, dot com slash. How is your tick-toking going, by the way? I just can't do it, Rob.

Keep it sex in relatable as per Anna X-O-X-O. What does X-O-X-O mean, Rob? Kiss cuddle, kiss, cuddle. All right. Now, hello. We are a South cafe for parents and young kids. Our cafe gives parents a chance to either play with their kids or let them go feral while they enjoy five minutes piece and a local cup of coffee. We are passionate about physical and mental development for kids and also support education

for parents. As a business run by moms, we love your podcast. We love a shoutout. There was a definite gap in the market in this area so you want to be able to reach and help even more more more more more more more more more more more more people more people more people more people more people more people more people more people more people more people people people people people people people people people people the to to the to to to to the to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tttthea. the thea. the thea. to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to reach and help even more people. That is a South Sea Play Cafe, the Milfs of South Sea Play Cafe, Exxo. I thought you'd added that yourself. No, no, they refer to themselves as moms they'd like to fuck. I'm sure they do. Good on them. It's been a pleasure, Rob. It's been a joy and a pleasure. Pleasure, pleasure and I'll see you next t t t t th th th th the th th the th th th the th th the th th the th th th th th th th the th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho to thi thi to to to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi tho tho tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And I th. And I'll th. And I'll th. And I'll th. And I'll thi. thi. tho. thi. thoome. thoome, tho. thoom. to to to thea. thea. thea. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo