Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP49: His Hair Has Gone Blue!

Episode Date: June 27, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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So go ahead. You can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life. Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with Remy can you say Rob Beckett? Yeah. Wood Beckett. Okay and can you say Josh Widdickum? Josh Ruddakum. Oh well done. I think that was the first one better for you than me that. Yeah, speed it up and it was right. That is my two-year-old son, Remy, good name. We almost went with Remy. Like the Rat from Rattitoui?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I've not seen it. Why would I have for an opinion? Please keep doing what you're doing. Everyone needs the rat. We love listening to the podcast and it's gotten us through many a dark hours trying to raise three boys under eight who often displays sociopathic traits, stay sexy and relatable. Erin from South.

South. Hampton. Yes. There we go. Oh, that was good. You led me down the path. I felt a bit like I was a child and you were helping me get a show right. I spent too much time. How's your week been Rob? Mine's been written non-eventful. I'll be

honest. Yep, non-eventful is not the word is it? Is it uneventful? This morning I've been thinking of stuff and I just nothing came up and I thought is this it? Is standard on the shoulder of Giants? Yeah. Have we got to the point? Have I run out of ideas? As Noel Gallagher surely regrets, should he have not put all those good songs on the B-Sides? Should he have just strung it out of it? I can't speak for you, but I've definitely not run out of stuff because Lou. Good old Lou. Good old Lou., I've tried to soundproof a bit better. Hopefully the sounds a bit better. I'm still got a few more bits coming to make it even better. So bear with me. Apologies.

Say your arsenal shirt. I can see that behind you. Yeah, I've got some football shirts out. And I can post a video of what it looks people that love sound isn't it? Audio files, yeah. I suppose it is, yeah. I am working on it, so it's working in progress. Lou's been in Amsterdam for three nights, what she wants to say, and talking to boys. Did she, uh, sample the older? Do you know what? She had no weed? She had no weed or green, but she did go to a sex show and get a tattoo. Whoa! Separately or the same time? No, separately.

That was a two separate trip. But do you know what's sad about that is? That was Lou's first sort of weekend away of her friends for ages? Yeah. We went on an actual arena tour. And she had a break down. No, she's not fun night out Josh. Yeah. If I came in and said I got a sec I went to a sex show and got a tattoo how how much would you have laughed? I yeah I would have in Amsterdam would have been like oh that's not like Josh if you just

done that in Soho I'd be worried. Yeah yeah I think if you do in so hoa hoa that's a breakdown. Yeah, I can't if you go to Amsterdam it's the bare down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. to. to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Amsterdam. Amsterdam. Amsterdam. Amsterdam. I'm th. I'm tha. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. wanked off and then got a butterfly tattled on my arm. That was my, that's a break down. I had two hours before I was meeting someone in near rocks and circus. Yeah, but we, we did a whole arena tour and tour and loo'er. And Lou, in two days has done something more exciting and funn't than us. I'd say I'd say, I their their tha, I'd say, I'd say, I'd say, I'd say, I'd tha, I'd tha, I'd th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, tho, thathea, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah. that's. Yeah. that's. that's. Yeah. that's. that's. that's. that's. to say. to say. to say. to say. tod. tod. tod. today. today. toa. toa. toa, toa, too, toa, too, toa, too, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's touring rock and rollness was it was pathetic I was so tired though Josh it was awful it was absolutely fucking shameful when you walked the other direction when we walked into a hotel I've almost punched the air mate after that first game we just walked away from each other to separate

room just never not even should we have a drink no I should probably get to bed didn't even mention it oh when Jack D was in the hotel I love Jack when you said should get a second round part of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th of th of th of th of th th th th th th th th th th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. t. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. tou tou. tou. tttou. ttou. tttou. ttou. tttou. tttttou. t even mention it. Oh, when Jack D was in the hotel, I love Jack. When you said, should we get a second round? Part of me died, Roe. You did not want another Heineken Blue, whatever it's called. I did not want another Heineken blue? I donken or Bex massive on everything they that's got to be against the rules in it well it's alcohol free I was thinking this actually Rob yeah because I found a alcohol free beer in my fridge yeah and I thought what would be the rule is 0.0% on putting that in my daughter's lunch box. Yeah, she just likes the taste.

She just likes the taste is alcohol free. So my, yeah, if it's zero is it because 0.5 is bad because that is actually alcohol. Yeah. If it's 0.0, it's like it's one of those things where it's not against the rules, but it's seen as weird in society. Like, for example, if my five-year-old daughter was having a Bex, uh, lunch. Do you know what you can do, Josh, if you want? When it's torrential rain, you can sit on a bench and eat a baget. The people don't. No.

So it's not against the rules. It's just they don't. No. But, I don't know, I don't, I don't, I don't, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th- tho, th- tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th, th. th. tha, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th glass would be the issue wouldn't it? Maybe a can. But also fizzy drinks are banned, aren't they from schools? Oh, that's how they'll get you. I've got many cheddars in the snob. What about a non-alcoholic red wine? Well, my, um, someone's from school's daughter tasted their mom's non-alcoholic Rose and loved it, and then she had a glass. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thine thine thine thin thin thin thin thin's thin's thin's thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' they're they're thread is thread's got that's got moth. I'm that's that's me. I've got many many many many many many many many many many many many many that's me…… I I I I I's m. I I's many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's got I I I I I I I's got thread is thread is thread is thread is thread is thread is thread. I'm threat. I'm threat. I'm that's threat. I'm that's not. I'm that's not. I'm that's not. I'm that's not. I'm that's not g. I'm that's mothed. I'm that's mcett., is that okay? Yeah, what is the deal with that? I know what, I think just probably leave it, don't let them have it.

No. Because mine's not even like, mine don't really have fizzy drinks at all. So they can't start on Heineken's Ere-O'-Dinger, big frothy erdinger in their stitch, what was I the t I was going to call it. How was Father's Day? Oh, fucking right. So talking about the Lady Remy's mum, but boys been psychopaths, on Father's Day,

Luke could lose away, we went to a kid's birthday party, all boys. It was a boy that my daughter knew from preschool, but they went to separate schools and he's gone to an all-boy school. So it was all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all their their their was all their their was all their was all their was all their was all their was all th. Oh th. Oh thus was all thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. Oh thus. Oh thus. Oh thus. Oh, thus. Oh, thoes. Oh, thoes. Oh, thoes. Oh, thoes. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the th. Oh, the the th. Oh, the the th. Oh, the the th. the th. the the the the th. the the th. the th. the th. th. they went to separate schools and he's gone to an all-boy school. So it was all his classmates and then my two daughters and there was all boys and do you know what Josh we are well I can say we're lucky we're not lucky I'm lucky you're not you've got a boy boy is a fucking mental they are they are too much. They are too much. There were two kids on the Mountie Castle literally it was like the UFC ground and pound where one the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other.. the other the other the other the other. the other. the other. they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're the other they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're their they're their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to two two two two two two two two their their their their There were two kids on the Mounted Castle. Literally, it was like the UFC, ground and pound, where one was straddling the other, just like pushing the head of the other.

And then they swat. And they were laughing. They were just fighting. Yeah, they were just fighting. It's mental. The whole time. It's absolutely insane. I couldn't believe it. The difference between how boys and girls play. It's just so easy with a girl at this age compared to a boy. Yeah. Give my daughter some crayons, bish-bash-bosh, she'll create a nice drawing. Yeah.

But like I can, well I don't know which way my son's going to go yet because obviously some boys it's not like that but generally we've been to you know birthday parties where you can see the difference in the boys and the girls. Obviously each individual is different but when at this party it was all boys I'd say 80% of the boys there were mainly just running at each other or crashing into. Yeah. they wanted to hit each other or be in contact with each other. Grabing, pushing, like, not, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, their, you, you, thi, thi, their, you, you, you, you, you, you their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their thi. birthday, thi. Birthday, thi. Birthday, thi. Birthday, thi. Birthday, thi. Birthday, their their their their their their their they wanted to hit each other or be in contact with each other grabbing pushing but not not in bullying or aggressive way but just no no no it's just play and the good news is role that chimpanzees yeah the good news for me yeah what I'm holding on to is I wasn't one of

those boys no so you think your boy I don't know physical I continue that. Yeah, you don't have physical contact from men or just from Rose? I like more than a bloody hug from Rose. Am I like? Okay. Enjoy that? Do you know what? Way more than I should? Me too. Am I right? Hey! It's kind of the same joke. But um, so... It's a glasses wiggle that is not, you know, for the fact, those listening. It's a little... Yeah. One for Instagram. If you watch it on the Instagram.

Chuck has a bloody like. Chuck us, like and subscribe. Can you subscribe. Like and listen. Yeah, don't your socials. Don't actually. Don't do that. Don't, don't. Don't, don't. It makes it like our podcast shit. What if you're asked to share it? Or if they share it? Or if they share it in a positive way, not look at these two fucking chances. It was specky wonkers just talking about their kids in a little basement. Yeah, they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to they're they're they're they're they're they're they don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't th. Don't th. Don't the. Don't, they're the. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't don't, don't don't don't. when they were kids. Is it called hard play? I was hard, hard, I did a rough, rough play, rough housing,

rough housing? Yeah, I don't know. I did a lot of that because I had all brothers. So it was all football barging into each other, wrestling and fighting and stuff like that. So I'm quite used to it. I like playing football and I quite like a bit a bit of that but not as much as like rugby boys do it when they literally put their heads up each other's asses or whatever it is they do and do initial. Fuck. Fuck, fuck rugby. Fuck rumpet. I'm sure we've said this before but the fucking worst. The rugby team at school fucking awful. They do things like that. Fuck rugby. Ugo Moneier is a great guest. the they. F, they. F, they, th. F, they, but, th. F, th. F, th. Fuck, they, they, they, they're, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. F. F. F. F. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fogogog. Fog. Fog. Fog. Fogu. Fogu. Fogu. Fogu. Fogu. Fogu, they's. Fog. Fog. Fog. they're, they're they're they're they're, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, they're, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, then drink it. I know they're awful. How do you do? See I-

Fuck rugby. Ugo Monier is a great guest. But apart from that. To be fair, I did once pay someone 7 pound 50 to down a bottle of Sarson's vinegar. That was quite laddie. But I didn't shit in it. That's the difference. And it wasn't like the waiter. And if I did shit in a bottle in a, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. F. th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. th. F. th. F. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. F. I, th. F. I, th. F. I, th. F. F. F. th. th. th. th. to. to. S. S. S. S. S. S. to. S. to. S. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thogog a bottle of vinegar, in what would be the skinniest bit of poo of all times, try and get in out. I don't know. You'd have to be quite unwell, wouldn't you? This is all. Sorry. Yeah, so what you're saying? You're not laddie? You hope you're saying I didn't like rough play and that's why I don't really like playing football. Right, okay. I just don't enjoy... It's a bit bargy. You hope the... Your boy will revert to that.

Just so you know, son, you're weak. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. However... Avoid sport at all costs. Yeah, I don't think that's a good thing to say. I went to yoga on Friday. I've just remembered that. Anyway, carry on off. Well, my kids were playing, my daughters were playing, football with the boys and getting stuck in which are quite enjoyed. So that was good. So that was like, but I can't help it. I've got a little bit of, there was boys there that is a huge age and he was doing like stepovers and roll it I went leave it out

mate just play with your left foot but they were quite some of the people they were a little bit more posh and that was a bit and I went I was at your brother let him tell him to play with his left foot but I forget that I've got an accent sometimes yeah yeah yeah the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I the the the the the the the they. I the the the the the the the left will you? Yeah yeah for some of the go yeah of course you know the moment I hear that phrase I go that's why I don't play football. Right. I was like to play your left mate fuck. All right and then part of me wanted just to steam in absolutely just barge him and then finished bottom. But it was a five-rolls party you can't really do that. I'm not going back to university to be your friend.

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Your game time tasks like Miller time. Learn more at Miller Light.C. Must be Legal Drinking Age. Tell me about your father's day, Rob. CIA must be legal drinking age. Tell me about your father's day, Rob. Okay, I'll tell you about my father's day. I'm not sleeping at the moment, Josh, okay? I've got this watch that tells about my sleep. We've got, we've got Vlux. Have you had a Vlux?

You've had a Vlux, in them slanty windows in our new house. Yeah, I've heard of V. Yeah. I've never really dealt with Vlux that much in the past. They're in our bedroom. You know, it's Vailux as well. By the way, all right? All right, whatever it is, Velax, Vailux, right? Anyway, we haven't got it. All right. Anyway, we haven't got it. Anyway, we haven't got blinds on. You can you can control them if they're too high. Oh yeah, yeah, it's a fucking night. Can you get remote control ones? Yeah, yeah, you can. Right, okay. Yeah, remote control.

Well, anyway, either way, I haven't got me in my bedroom. So if you want, so if you quickly Google, because at the moment, because at the moment, the moment,the sun comes up I know because it's happened every day and what's quite encouraging is because we will not encourage it we haven't hit the longest day yet have we no so I started getting up and that's the end of the week last and before before that at 454 and every day 4. 53 it's still beginning earlier luckily end of the month we start going back the other way anyway so not sleeping father's day father's the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the th the th th the th the th th th th th. the the the th. the the th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. thus. th. th. th. th. th. We're th. We're the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. th. th. We th. th. th. We th. We th. We th. We th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theeee. I'll theeeee. I'll the. I'll the. I'm the. We're the. We, we start going back the other way. Anyway, so I'm not sleeping. Father's Day, Father's night, because it was that big storm, wouldn't it?

And we've got the Villeux, whatever it is. And it was Hailstones. So those hailstones, so the hailstones. So the hailstones. Oh, no. Oh, I'm thi. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the the the the th. the their. their. their. the their. the their. the their. their. the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the thi. the thi. that. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. Is Lou still in Amsterdam? She's still in Amsterdam. Okay, so she's probably watching a woman get a banana shoved up her ass or something at the moment. Well, I've not seen Beyonce live but um. I've heard some good reviews. Um, and anyway, so I went to bed and at 10 trying to be a good boy. Watched TikTok for a phone fell in my face, that's my sort of routine. And anyway, my daughter woke me up at midnight. So, and I've had now I see,

daughter woke up at midnight because she had a bad dream. Anyway, take her back in, calm her down, about half 12th, go back to bed. Half one, woken up again, because it's absolutely terrential rain. It's been red-oct for the rain. You're woken up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up the rain. You're the rain. the rain. the rain. the rain. the rain. the rain. the rain. the rain. the rain. the rain. th. th. th. th. thokewomenwomenwomenwomenwomentodopped. took. took. took. to me. to me. to me. I'er. I'er. I to me. I to me. I I I'er. I I'er. I I'er. I'er. I I'er. I I I I'er. I I I'er. I I'er. I'er. I I'er. I I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'er. I'll woke. I'll woke. I'll woke. I'll woke. I'll woke. I'll woke up up. I'm tokenen. I'm tokenwo'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. Soa'er. I'm toke. I'll are open because it's so hot. But they're on the roof aren't they? So when does rain go? Open the Velux? Yeah, open the vellux. They've been open all night for a week because it's red eye. Anyway, so so what on my face? Oh, I want to wa a clunk right so I'm running around I do all that quite satisfying aren't they though the ch-ch-shhh no not the third one at one a them I've sort of on over that little buzz first to oh that is satisfying isn't it and I've not really got the knack so theyn't theynack so th so th so th so the th so th so th so the th so th so the th so th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th their so their so their so their so they's they's they're their so their so every they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their th their try so try so try so try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try they're they're they're they're they're they're they're these windows and then anyway go back to sleep. 2.30 a.m., Hailstone start, thunder and lightning, and I've never lived in the roof before. Normally I've got a loft, very loud, especially the house stones. So they woke me up at 2.30 a

a tm. Like absolutely pelling it down, right? Dogs bark. We're about to say. Long story short, the house. the house. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thops. thops. thops. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. tho. thoom. thoome. thoome. thoome. thoom. thoom. thoes. I thoes. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I th. I th. I th. I thi. I's thi. I's tho. I's tho. I've tho. I've thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. We're loving the house, just not a big fan. If it thunderstormed every night, probably would move, but I'll take it once in a while. Anyway, that's about an hour I'm sort of up for because it's really there. I can't get back to sleep. Anyway, get back to sleep at half three. Yeah. Four-thirty a-day card. Literally, they've written happy fathers down at their names, nothing else, no colouring in, one of them didn't even put in the envelope because she lost it. Don't they do it at school? To be fair, they did bring back to nice things from school, but these are two cards, they're

their cards at Lewis sorted. They throw them in my face, they're throwing in my face. Oh my God. And I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm like. And I'm like. And I'm like. And I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, they're like, don't. they're like, don't. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're they're they're th. th. th. they're th. th. thi. thi. they're the. the. the. they're tho. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're back to bed for about 45 minutes, come back quarter past five, we're all up, they've got their iPads, five of us, they started. Anyway, we've got white floor downstairs, white towards, let the dog out for a piss. It's not rained for two weeks is it? Let him out, we haven't got a front garden yet, it's just mud. He comes in. The entire up with the front of 530 a.m. and my day is my I'm taking my kids to a birthday party and then back again. Oh my god I'm feeling so good about this. And that so that was my that was my father's day. Fucking normal. There's a did you go back to bed? No because they want breakfast they're up and then they don't fall asleep on the sofa or anything if they get up at half four. No. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Oh. No. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. the. the. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thethen... They don't fall asleep on the sofa or anything if they get up at half four. No, Josh, they will go again to 8 p.m.

Oh my word, right. So they're up all that. It's fine, it's what it is, but you know, and I'm actually enjoying their company and all that. Anyway, obviously, Dog thing happens. Oh no. Exactly the same. It's got to the point now, until we sort of get the garden sorted properly and it's not mud and there's some grass. It's easier to let him shit and piss in the house and just clean that up. But then you're not training your dog, are you?

No, no. So that's what's been going on. It's Lou's birthday on. It was funny, we did, we went, because it's Lou's birthday on Sunday, but we're pretending it's Tuesday for the girls. And she got a present was a new bag, right, and that was all she got. Because it was quite an expensive bag. She just wanted this bag for ages. I've got it for, she wanted to, I wanted to, I didn't even wrap it up. So the plan was, she's, I've, they, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a.... the, a. the, a. the, a. the, a. the, a. the, a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, she's, she's, So now I've got like, no, I've had to kick it to three days.

I've got, I'm doing it, I'm throwing a birthday on Tuesday when it's not even a birthday, right? And so we're doing this, which fine, so I took the girls to TK Max to get them some, get some present, in there, but it's quite cheap. So they've got a luminous rainbow spoon for £1.99. Great. Loves that.

They're trying kind of a smiley face on 1 pound 41. Oh, there we go. Really nice. And then, can we pick mommy some pajamas, right? but let's see how this plays out and they found this top right because Lou lights like soft baggy stuff right they've picked this white top the sort of like sort of too long to be a top but not long enough to cover your full sort of bum and front right yeah and it's white long t-shirt and it's white but so light you actually see-through it actually looks quite quite pornographic. You'd imagine someone would wear that on only fans to wear for the little advert before you

subscribe to see the... I don't know about only fans? No, no I do, but I don't know about the little advert that you see before you subscribe. You must, you see these people pop up on your tick-talk or Instagram where they're like, wearing quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite, th-a, quite, quite, th-a, quite, quite, th-a, quite, quite, th-a, th-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, quite, quite, quite, quite, quite't know about the little advert that you see before you subscribe from. You must, you see these people pop up on your TikTok or Instagram where they're like, wearing quite revealing clothes and then they'll say subscribe for the full access. You don't even get them, you don't get that target. Okay, you might see Damon Albarn in it if the album sales don't go well and he's like click on this link. Yeah, okay. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. So so that. So you you. You you. You that. You they they they they they they they're. You might you might you might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. You might. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they. they. they. they're might. the. the. that's, so they've bought his pajamas and stuff like that. But, um, and so we're doing that on Tuesday, but I've got, I've got a site, the problem, the problem I found is,

because we've moved into new house, I don't know where anything is Josh. Well, didn't you unpack? Well, I did unpack, but I've not unpacked, Lou, Lou, So I've just spent the school run just trying to find hair bands and all sorts of do their air. And the other thing is, and I don't, I've got to be careful about this because I don't want to upset Lou and I don't want to upset. No. But Rob, but I do think true. I'm excited now. Okay. I'll be honest. That's the ideal start to an anecdote. Loo. Loo left. to. the to. to. the to. the the to. the the th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.m. Friday morning. It's fine. Did school on Friday, looked after them all weekend and then school run Monday.

She's back Monday, lunchtimeish. But I'd not think she's back in time to do this pickup. But it's fine. Not a problem with that. Three day, I'm away loads, right. The issue for me is not even an issue going forward, but I the issue, I the issue, I tha, I the issue, I thua, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the issue, thi, the issue, the issue, the issue, thi, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue. the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, the issue, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooan, thi, than need a heads up. If, and it's normally a lady going away, it's going away with their friends for a few days, the three days away is not the problem. It's the three days of build-up before when they're doing stuff for the weekend away. So it'll be like, preach. Preach. Go into boots to do a boot shop for the trip. Because you can't just take shower gel. No. There needs to be a new bagger stuff.

It's very difficult to locate her boots in an airport. Yes, exactly. There's none there. And do you know what about? Do you know about Amsterdam? No pharmacies. They don't even get involved in drugs. their to school because she was getting a hair done in then it's eyelashes, eyebrows. Lou one day on the Wednesday, I took the kids to school

because she was getting a hair done in the morning. She went to Brixton at 10 a.m. and I said, are you alright to pick them up? She went, I can't, I'm getting my hair done. I was like, what, until four? What are they doing? What are you having it to to be the no, no, I'm doing it at my mum's. I was like, but you're going to Brixton? She went, yeah, I'm getting it cutting bricks and then coloured at my mum's.

Because she's gone around. I didn't know these were two different things. It's two trips, Josh. It's Monday's day and I'm working, but I'll for it's Monday's down I'm working but I'll drop the kids off I'll get them later so I've booked three days off already for Lou's birthday but then I'm twoam ramming all my work schedule into the week before but now I'm also still doing sort of slightly extra parenting that that is fine because I I think when Lou's telling me when she's going away I need to know about the two days before that I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the schedule the schedule the schedule the schedule the schedule the schedule the schedule the schedule the schedule the schedule the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to the to the the to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to get to to to tod today today today today today today today today today today to to to to to to to toelling me when she's going away, I need to know

about the two days before, I need to know this schedule pre-departure. I imagine that's my week leading up to Glastonbury. Well, that's the thing. I think that needs to be a bit more of an open conversation between partners because now is Lou up to her standard to go to Glastonbury or am I looking down the barrel of another three day where she's in Brixton and her mom's house for eight hours? Well, there you go. Here's one Rob. I feel awkward about it. Obviously I feel awkward about it. Obviously you do as well. And also I feel slightly like we're you know men complaining about

how long women get to get ready. Also as well we are very aware that there's been a spate of not many women and moms on the podcast, but we've got loads booked coming up. It's just the way it's fallen, but we are aware of that and we try and keep it fair, so don't panic. Yeah, don't worry. Right, go on. What's you been doing now? I'm joking. Night before we went to Greece, yeah. Rose, spray tan.

I love the, I love the, do we need, do we need, do you need, do we need the tan to go on the hot holiday? So that's the point. That's my understanding. Yeah. But you need to start with a tan, is that what they suggested? That's the point. But if the night before we set off a Glastonbury, I went to watch the Arctic Monkeys, I think Rose would go, but you...

You don't need... I just want to make sure I know all the songs so I'm ready for it and I know the same. I'm still as well. And this isn't just Rose, Lou does this as well, and I'm sure there's lots of people to do this. Rose, it must be aware she's arriving with you and you're incredibly pale children. So it's obvious that, you know, if a four arrive and there's one glowing, I know that's not it's all a slight facade isn't it? Yeah I mean this is I'd say I'm at my most tanned at the moment. Have you ever got like really brown? Do you know what Rob this is this is embarrassing? I looked in the mirror a couple of days ago yeah and I don't

just mean this is like how tanned I go normally in summer. I thought, this is the most tanned I've ever been. Really? This is, do you know what, I think, I haven't got burned this summer? I think this is the best I've ever, the best my skin's ever looked. And what, what's your, what you doing? Are you wear 50 all the the the the the the the th skin's ever looked. And what, what you're doing? Do you wear 50 all the time? 50 all the time. Wait, even on cold days.

It's still penetrating. Yeah, well, a little bit. You look at me. I wouldn't say you like you've got a color. But this is the most tanned you've ever been. I think this is the most tand you've ever been? I think this is the most tanned I've ever been. I actually go quite brown if I go in the sun quite like it goes red then to brown. But when I was in Jamaica I put 50 on my face every day and the sun is so strong there that

I still burnt my forehead. And I put 50 on it nonstop all day. And to a point where Romesh got burnt. Because Romash has got quite an arrogance when it comes to sunscreen. You don't need a second part of that sentence. I tell the least arrogant man of ever about. I know it can't be more less. Probably the person in the UK who hates Romesh the most is Romash. You know we were talking about me not being able to deal with the heat? I've got to open the window because I'm sweating.

Okay, go for it mate, that's all right. Are you watching? Have you watched? Can you still hear me? Yeah, yeah, mate. That's how Mike's work. Not that far away. I'm watching a thing, I've watched a thing about celebrity, Rob, that I think you'd probably enjoy. Go on. It's called The Bling Ring. The Blingring. Is this a Rose thing, or you've watched on your own? It's about these teenagers that robbed all these Hollywood people, like Paris Hilton. And someone who was in the hi hi Hollywood'd never heard of in the around 2009.

It's fucking documentary. Yeah, it's on Netflix. It's brilliant. Yeah, that's a bit of me that is. I've been watching the Arnold Schwarzenegger one as well. Yeah, I loved the Arnold Schwarzenegger one. He's what made me want to do steroids. Hawha, very bad for you.

Oh, other things I want to talk about, my daughter's got a bunk bed in her room now. And, yeah, my daughter wants a fucking bunk bed. And they love it, but they've got separate rooms, but they, at the weekend sometimes share beds together. They're both wanting me, the youngest one gets a bit nightmares and stuff, and wanted me to stroke her arm, and to, but, but, and to stroke, but, and to stroke, but, and to, and to stroke, and to, and to, and the the the the to, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and tho, and tho, tho, and tho, and tho, tho, and tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, their, their, their, their, th, their, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomombs, and thooomorrow, and thoom so she goes to sleep she likes that right so I was stroking her arm and then the other one it doesn't really care but she just sort of gets a bit jealous if the young the one's getting something went he stroke my arm too I was like I was like well no I was a girl can't really reach when she went I'll just put her like this yeah so to the to they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the other one one one one one one I I I I I I I I I the other one one one one I the other one I the other one I the other one I the other one I the other one I the other one I the other one one I the the other one I the they one I the they I they I they I they I they I they I'm sort of like bent up like that just stroking two arms like that just going this because normally it's a one stroke policy you've got your phone. So I'm just saying like thinking I contemplated buying Google glasses. So I could just sit there is

looking at Instagram staring forward. I am I've implemented in my time. I've got down to four hours a day on my screen time this week Rob. Did you? And I've implemented I don't take take. I don't take take take take take my take. Don't take my take. Don't take my take. take. take. take. take. take. take. take. tak. to to to to to to the phone. to to to to their. I'm to their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm And I don't take my phone downstairs in the morning. Well done. Rose was furious this morning when she left without something and then she had to come and knock back on the door. Because you miss it and you was upstairs. Because my phone was upstairs. But yeah, that's when you miss your phone. Is their phone, because my daughter likes to be cuddled to sleep. their phone. No, it's like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. Right, th. R. R. Ro, th. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. Rose, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Rose, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right, th. Right,led to sleep, which I like. I do like it. So you have to fully cuddle her or she hulk cuddling you? No, it's like I almost like drape my arm like a dead man's arm across her. Yeah, they love a dead man's arm just on their back. Yeah, they love a dead man's arm. What's that? You know like Alex Brooker's got a prosthetic leg? Yeah, yeah. Go to that guy and get a prosthetic arm that's exactly like your arm and just put it on a back. Talking about

the lack of sleep as well, Josh, I want to talk with his watch. I've got his watch tel sleeping for the week, see what you think. Go on. Let's start with the 13 for June, six hours 41. It's not bad, is it? I think that's good. That's not bad. That was one of the best ones. Didn't wake up all night. That was good. Next night, 3 hours.

Not great. That's awful. That's because I'd to be up for stuff. Five hours 46. Next one, five hours. Fucking how, Rob? This was a good one. I wake three times, but seven hours sleep. Oh, nice. That's good. I can't sleep through now. This one, 18, this was the father's day one.

Yeah. Do you see this? This was when I was talking about awake? How many? Seven times. Fucking Nora, right. The yellow's awake. Oh my god. And how does this out work? You just wear it on your wrist? It's just a phone on your wrist. Anyway, last time I went too bad, six hours, sleep, two awakes. Oh, bank it. So Rose gave me a lion for Father's Day. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I wanted. I said I just want to be left in bed with a cup of tea and a book for an hour. And that's that is really all you need on Father's Day and then just get up and do the day normally. It's like it needs to be a big overblown thing. Oh and I'll tell you another thing about Father's Day actually. And then and so normally I'm the first normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally normally first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first normally I'm the first normally I'm the first normally I'm the first normally I'm the first normally I'm normally I'm normally I'm normally I'm the first out Rob. I feel like I've said a couple of things about Rose on this episode. It's like we are queuing her up. There's a few things in the recent episodes I feel she does need to respond to. So we feel free. We'll get back on. We've got

to add Rose on for a little while. Yeah, so my daughter woke up at quarter six. Yeah, I said it's too early go out to sleep about 20 minutes later can have the iPad. Yeah it's pointless. She's on our floor because her room is too hot at the moment. Fair enough. And she hasn't got your boys got an air con thing. Yeah we've got to get an air con for her room. It's a bit unfair. Well that where you live those kind of houses get red o' Yeah, it's sort of hard to they're that. It's. T th. T th. T th. T th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. tho. tho. tho' tho' tho' tho'er. the tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' thoom's kind kind kind kind kind kind thoom. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. toe. the. the. the. to, they're built to keep the heating, are they? Bants that's going on in our house as well. That's adding to it. What are you and Rose up to?

Just bring the heat. Too, bloody right, mate. People come back in and go, the sun hasn't even been out. It's a scorcher in here. Basically she back to sleep saying I'll get up in a minute. Yeah. And I'm like at this stage I could just get up but this is my free lying. Yeah. And I thought also if I do get up it'll be, it's a quite a passive aggressive move. Well that's the thing isn't it? You can, that it's a real, well fine I'll get up then.

Yeah, exactly. I'll just get up then shall I, on my day? Yeah, so basically I'm trapped in bed until Rose gets up. Because you don't want to be accused of so it's a lose-lose for you isn't? Even though I'm ready to get up. You probably just just just just quite just quite just quite just quite just quite just quite just quite just quite just quite just quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite. I I I'm just quite quite quite quite quite quite just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just just quite just quite just just. I'm just quite just. I'm just. I'm just quite just quite just. I'm just to to get up anyway and ever go. I'd quite like to get up. Because I don't think I'll ever go back to lying in there. I can't see myself ever sleeping beyond 7 or 7 a.m. I'm ready for the day at 6.30. Rose isn't ready but I can't leave the bed because it'll

be seen as a passive aggressive move where I to get up get up wake up make me a cup of tea it's daddy's day yeah I can't do that I can't get out myself the whole thing was an absolute because also the the the big sort of like what's that like uno card thing that they've got where it basically turns it back on you is that they go well it's my dad you know it's my, you know, it's my dad's day as well. And then they can change the way of the day where it'll be like, I know it's your father's day, Rob, but also it's my dad, so I wanna go and see him as well at some point. My dad stayed over Saturday night because they come up to see the girls and stuff.

And then he went, in the t And I was like, what? And you bring him in and then we can do all the stuff. And I went, what? And my mom went, Dave, you do realize Rob's a dad too. Anyway, what? He went, do you know, Rob's a dad too. He might want, you know, the girls to, you know, go and see what else? my dad's done. My dad's right. He's got, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he's, he, he, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, the, the, the, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. the, the, the, the,, I'm his dad. She went, yeah, we get that. Also, my dad's done, my dad's right. He's got, he's got, he's got white hair.

So when he goes swimming, he'd come back from Spain, his air can go a bit yellowy from the chlorine, because it can affect really white hair. It's like, old man problem. Right, I didn't know it. shampoo stuff to put color back into it, like the right color, but he bought it from like home bargains for a quid and it's air has gone blue. He's got like this blue rinse. I should just add I did get my hour in bed with my book and that was very pleasant. So what happened did you get up then or did Rose get up? No Rose got up? Yeah when when at seven? At seven? And then what was your daughter doing at that point?

Which is fine because that's a reasonable time to get up? And then you started? Yeah. I think that's that's fair then, but was your daughter on your case for normally be like that but she was just excited. You probably wanted to get up with Rose to do like a cup of tea for dad for father's day. Yeah, yeah, exactly. There we go. But we went to, then I went to gymnastics. Rose gave me that as well. It was a very nice morning to be honest in the. You went gymnastics. Is the easy up with Lou where that when she was getting her air done I was like well I'll pick them up and she went they've got swimming I was like right so I was even that this was she was telling me all this when I was leaving the house I was like I was

leaving the house to drop to do some meetings and then come back. You come up from school. And she went, and they've got swimming. I was like, but I'm not coming back to the house. It's the night to take them up my swimming kit. Their swimming kit with me, putting the car to park at the station. So it's all fine. And then she went, it's 5.30. And I got to to to to to to to to to to to to. I got, I got, I got, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I got, I. I. I got, I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I. I'm, but, but, but, but, I'm, but, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, to. I'm not, to. I'm not, to. I'm not, to. I'm not, to. I'm not, to. I'm not, was a quarter, I ordered the food, a quarter to five, swimming's at 5.30. Text Lou, going, I hope you're getting on,

how you're getting on, blah, blah, I was like, worked out quite well actually, getting back from the station. So I picked him up, all the food, so we got them up, all the food. So, we's we've we's we's we, we got, we got, we got, we got, we've, we've, we've, we've, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, the, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, th, th, th, th. to, th. to, I, I, to, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t the thing, swimmers at five. I went, Lou, you're sure it's five or is it five? She went, oh yeah, sorry it's five, I got it wrong. So now I'm sat in a cafe with like beans on toast not even arrived yet and I can see the other kids in their class getting changed from swimming. Oh God. Luckily I said to the guy that mate, if there's beans and toast out, and David Lloyd Beckin and Big Up, he brought his beans and toast out so quick and then they ate it so fast

because they were starving because they normally eat earlier. I reckon they were still chewing as they got in the pool. And the whole time I was watching, I was like, they're gonna vomit. My kids gonna vomit, my friend who's got one kid, who's the best friend of my daughter, and they've got another kid on the way, and they do listen to the podcast or the mom does, but she's so far behind that she's not going to hear this for another six

months. He texted me and he was like, I can't believe you've gone to gymnastics on Father's Day. I thought you'd stay at home. And I was like, mate, you don't realize how easy you've got at the moment. Gymnastics is soon to become the easy bit, mate. I know. The other day, it was so busy. The thing you're currently avoiding is soon to be your best option. It's going to be your favorite bit the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. to, to. to. It's, too. It's, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I be your best option. It's going to be your favorite bit of the week. Yeah.

The other not, it was so busy in my house, stuff was going on. I've worked in Louisiana, blah, blah, blah. It was just carnied. And then I was getting them to bed and I had these invoices and I had these invoices. And they were like chasing me on it. And I just forgot, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, once I get the kids to see, I can just sit down and pay those invoices. That's you, the treat? What was my treat? I think the heat, the heat gets me stressed.

Especially when you're about to take them on the school run, you remember you've not put sun cream on them, and then keep asking for stuff. It's just like, you can't, you sweat, it's dripping off you like, burning up like that. And all I want to do is just wipe my bum and sit down. That's, I was like, I remember, because don't you get a sweaty bum when it's hot. You need to wipe the bum. that's not as bad as you.

My sweaty bumme. That's horrible being an ass sweater. Mine's face, mine's face. Just dripping off the face. I hate it Rob. I hate the heat. I hate it. I hate it. So much. Do you want to hate as well? Not only having instant coffee because we had instant coffee for a week because we mean you need to buy coffee because I cannot function on instant coffee to the coffee to be the coffee machine. Josh, he doesn't, I'm like a junkie, I need the hardcore stuff. Me and Lou, so we had no coffee, it was just instant and because we've had proper coffee, we've been, we've been grinders, Josh, I think we've spoken about this before. We grind out of instant coffee, we grind out of instant coffee, and then we didn't even have a tell, so we'd be doing most mornings with zero coffee. Me and Lou, I actually, I, I, I, I, I I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, so, so we've, so we've th. So, so we've the, so we've the, so we've the, so we've their they the coffee, so we've had no, so we've had no, so their their their their, so their, so their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the coffee, we've the coffee, we've their, we've. So, we've. So, we've. So, we've. So, we've. So, we've. So, I's. So, I's. So, I's. So, I's. So, I's. So, I's. th. th. th. th. th. t t today, I's. try. try. try. try. try. try. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th and then we didn't even have a kettle so we'd be doing most mornings with zero coffee. Me and Lou I actually think if coffee was banned me and Lou would have to divorce. We hate each

that look if we've not had a coffee the morning it's just a venom I'd say more more from Lou towards me I'm a little bit more chilled and Lou would admit to this but she hates me and then like we go to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a the the the coffee to the coffee the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I I I I I I they. I they. I they. I'll they. I'll the the the th. I's te. I'm. I'm te. I'm te. I'm. I'm te. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm try. I'm th. I'm th. I'm and then like we go to a calf then have a coffee like each other again yeah it was just awful so we're coffee machine that it's bad I've become my tea addiction it's got worse Rob yeah how much how many you have in eight is that because now you're not drinking and stuff it's sort of like a little buzz off the coffee I think it might be I think I think I'm still getting to coffee I I can't I the I the I the I the I the I the I the I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th I th I thin I thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to thi to to thi to thi they they they're they they they they they they they they'm still getting to coffee. I can't recommend, because I put a call out and this is, I get too sad for coffee. I get too sad for coffee coffee. No, not with this one.

You'll love it. You can do what you want with it. Sage Oracle Touch. They sent us a coffee machine. They sent us a coffee machine. So thank you very much. I didn't look a gift horse in the mouth. If you're on the verge of a divorce, you've got to take freebies when you can Josh. I did, I did look a gift horse, full transparency.

Go on. I mean, the power of this podcast, fizzy water taps. You're gonna take one? Not at this moment. Not this moment. Potentially having our kitchen redone next year. And if we are, what in your house where you are? Yeah. It's amazing. No, we're gonna knock.

Well, I don't know. Rose wants to do it. It's fucking amazing. No, an extension. We want to knock through. No, no, no, no. We want to knock so that it's a big glass at the end so that it goes into the garden. Because currently, at the moment, yeah, you just go out one little side door rather than it being open. When did you get it done? When we moved in? Ah, right. F fucking incredibly six years ago. Yeah, so it's tricky because you sort of the kitchen's got more legs in it,

but you want to use, you want to use the space. Well, we'd still keep most of the kitchen. No, we wouldn't. No, we wouldn't. You would do it. Anyway, we're not doing it unless we might be doing it if my point about Brian's not getting up on Father's Day goes down badly. When she did a brilliant job, it was just that 20 minutes. You've had to apologize and buy new kitchen in the space of one sentencer. I'm fucking kill me.

I'm so, I'm weak. Oh, do you know what I feel recently, Rock? My, uh, my, I was looking for something. I found all my diaries from the first two years I did stand up. John, let's save this for a correspondent session at this stage. Is that we've got, we're really out of time now. I've got a couple more bits to tell you about this week, so it makes sense.

Yeah, one about the suncream. I forgot to put sun cream on one day. When I came home from work, Lou had gotten from school, my daughter came out with a face that was bright red. It looked like blood. Right? Yeah. And I went, oh my god. She's done PE or something or been out sports or something all day and completely burnt a face to the point where she's probably going to have to go to doctors. As I got closer to her, it was face paint. But for a moment I thought I'd like burn my child's face off. Other things to let you know, ah you know there's loads of thunderstorms. I got, when I was a kid I used to get really had leg

aches before it stormed and it wasn't like a bruise leg from football or an injury. She's just weird ache like also a bit like a little loose. I think it're called restless leg. I think it's called restless leg syndrome and it just, they just ache and ache and ache and they can't relax and all that. Anyway, I googled it. Apparently, it's the pressure changing in the weather system and in the atmosphere that a that, the affects your legs.

What? So if you get, and because if the, if it, if it, if it, if it, if it, if the, if it, if it, if the, if the, if it, if, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, I, they're, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, so when it was really hot and dry at that week wasn't it and then it went when we moved to that weird humidity thunderstorms we all had that change in the atmosphere pressure can affect your legs and get you like it's interesting is a thing. And oh yeah two things one this is hilarious when we first moved in I don't I didn tell you about it, I think we recorded one before it happened. We moved in on like the Saturday and then the following Friday went out, we went out for drinks with some friends and their house is about 10 minutes away. We managed to get an Uber there, right? From the countryside, there are some took. Anyway, we got an Uber there, get there. And then the babysitter, we're their, we're bit clingy about us going and stuff and she knows a babysitter and was all right it's fine and then the toilet's been the toilets fixed now but it was leaking a little bit would occasion keep keep like water kept and cept them and it would drip down and then anyway we got it fixed we thought the the. We got it fixed we thought the plumbered. the to the plumber. I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the plumber the the the the the the the the plumber the the the plumber the plumber the plumber the plumbered the plumbered the plumbered the plumbered the plumbered the plumbered the plumbered was the plumbered was the plumbered was the pl so the pl so the pl so the pl so the pl so were the pl so were the pl so were the pl so were the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toymemea toymea toymea toymeaugh is fc-c-c-c-c-c-s were theymeaughealmealmealmeal been doing boxes whole time and it was like right the house is in a decent enough state now so have people

around sit down I literally got handed a beer as I got handed a beer my phone rang the babysitter said the the bathroom's flooding didn't drink the beer anyway I went don't worry I'm coming right and then my friend drove me in his car so I I've ruined his evening, he's just finished work for the week, but now we're driving to my house. And we're driving, and he's an agent, he looks after people, right? And I'm a comedian. I went, are you any good at house stuff?

And he went, you couldn't have someone worse in a car with you. I just do phone tho tho tho tho tho th tho th tho tho tho th tho thin thu th thu thu, I thu, I thu, I thu, I'm thu, I'm thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho' tho' tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, just talk to people. I've got, I can't do that, right? So we're driving, you pull up to my house, I walk into my house, I have got no idea what to do. No, of course. Not, I don't know what, all I know is, it's like, so I'll walk in and I just grab a knife from the drawer, because I'm even got a screwdriver or I've got a screwdriver or I haven't got nothing right but I know sometimes that a knife can do it right so I grab a knife from the drawer it's pissing out of water I just look at it I look to the side there's what there's one metal pipe coming out of the side and it's got one of them like flat lines not a screwdriver four done that looks like a cross there yeah no Phillips not Phillips of Phillips of I mean there. Yeah, yeah. Not of Phillips. Not of Phillips. I mean, there'll be people screaming at their headphones, what we're trying. I don't know, flathead or something is it called?

Flatheads, flat. Flathead, yeah, flat. Yeah, flat. Anyway, I just look at that. And I just look at that. And I didn't know if it was, you know, I didn't have, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, turned it, stopped. Oh my God. I just, it just felt, you know like, where people feel like they believe in Jesus and miracles.

Yeah. Because I felt like that, I've never done anything so impressive in my life. I walked in and immediately turned out. And I just felt unbelievable, and did you go straight back to the pub? Yeah, and then went was everything all right and they're all good and then my other door was... You should just walked out silently. But I literally and then I got back in the class it to my mate I was

like I had no idea what I was doing I walked in there. But that was that but that was the only thing I thought I could do just that little amazing. But yeah so that I was I'm quite impressed with that I that I that I that I that I that I that I was quite that I that I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite quite that I was quite quite quite quite quite quite that I was quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite that I was quite quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite that I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite impressed I was quite that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was quite impressed I was quite impressed with that. That's positive. Oh, other news to report. Nice we can talk about on another episode. Let's do a little cliffhanger. I did a gig for the England football team at St. George's Park. Yeah. How did it go? The whole squad.

I think I think we need a longer episode to talk about it. to discuss how that went. Yeah. and we're getting another dog. So I'll see you next week. You are fucking weak. You are. Oh no, oh no. Oh no. You're getting another dog. Just have a baby. Lou wants a third baby.

Do it, Rob. Anyway, yeah, it's fine actually. I really wanted another one, so it's good. I do, actually. You're poor fucking cat. He's all right, he's loving it. He's a farm cat now. He's got a lot, like his own little area. He's loving life. Yeah, um, oh, oh,

Oh, no. Jesus, what was a the shit. that. the shit. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the the that. the the the that. the the th. th. the th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. th. He's. th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all. He's all like my kitchen. So it is an extension? No it's not an extension. It's not happening. Anyway we'll talk about that another time. We'll do the nuts and bolts of that next week or something. Small business shout out. Yeah. Hello please could I get a small business shout out for my sister-in-law. She owns the cocktail and cupcake club. a horse box renovated into a cocktail bar which can be hired for private events such as birthdays weddings and corporate events she also does personalized cocktails and cakes for occasions she also does to have a little thiauggedy for a cudd an amazing job. Her Instagram is the cocktail and cupcake club. P.S. I've been listening since beginning to the podcast and my wife is

now pregnant with our first child which is due in November. I'm excited and nervous after listening to your stories. Keep being sexy and relatable. Thanks Tom Perrin. There you go. The cocktail and cupcake club. I searched a word, Rob, in the document to find one perfect for you. Hi, Fam. My NCT group introduced me to your podcast 10 months ago when pregnant with my first baby.

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