Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP5: "We want mummy back!"

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Can you say Beckett? Say Josh? Josh you say Beckett? Say Josh? Josh. Widdickum? Good girl. She absolutely blew it at the end. Oh, it was unbelievable. It's a complete... What happened?

That I was getting ready to say the best we've ever had. I was getting to say the new technique of doing one word at a time rather than two is obviously better, but obviously didn't work in the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the new technique of doing one word at a time rather than two is obviously better but obviously didn't work in the end. Hi Rob and Josh, this is Erin 19 months old. Me? I was... You did that because you were editing yourself as you went to see if you said year old. No, I wasn't actually. I was moving the... Because we have the cameras on now Rob as you know. Yeah but we don't I don't like to the the the to the to the to the to to the to to the to the the to to the the to to to the the to the to the to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to their. to. their. to. their. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. th. to. th. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. the cameras on now, Rob, as you know. Yeah, but we don't, I don't like to look at them. And I was looking at my, it was in my peripheral vision, I was just moving it out of shot. Right, okay.

Me and my husband love listening to the podcast and it's always a sure way to make us chuckle even on those hard parenting days. Thank you for making a smile. Broadstairs isn't it? Lovely, lovely little place. Nice ice cream shop there on the front Morelli. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? I've been to Broadsters. I'm glad we bring you joy on the difficult days, but for balance, you don't as shit saying the name and it's your fault as parents. Exactly. Just a little bit of balance. Sorry, I've done a bit of, I've been on radio too, so you have to give a balanced opinion so, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to b to b a the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thia ga, thia, thi, I really played to it though where I said, someone that text didn't go in. How many opinions are you giving at all? None, they're all mine. They're all mine, none of the views of the BBC, but someone eveled inside.

I saw Joan Collins at a petrol station getting some petrol and I went, or diesel or LPG. We will not be showing a bias on this station about fossil fuels. Josh, I tell you what, I don't care what Greta Tumberg says. If there was an old tire and a bonfire in my garden, I'd be launching it on that. I am freezing. It's so cold. It's so cold. I can't handle it.

I went out to the car in my shorts this morning. Yeah. And that's a bit of a walk for you because you haven't got a drive or you have to... No, I haven't got a drive. No, you park further down the road, don't you? I go around the corner, I park. Because I'm on quite a busy road, and Iimm- Cars are shimmying past other cars. Shimming? I've never seen a car shimmy sideways. That crab? No no no no. A little nipple tassels on. Yeah. Sexly shimmying past.

Now there's often cars slowly going past other cars and I just think it's it's got it's got wing mirror taken off out all over it once every six months. So I part around the corner. Anyway, I went around in my shorts and I'm caught. It wasn't an anecdote I'm meant to bring up. What kind of shorts we're talking? I'm not saying your pins. You don't like wearing shorts that often, do you're today? I do, I wear shorts all What's that? Oh, we got video. They're just black shorts.

Yeah, but you don't wear them out and about, do you? What, no, it's January? Well, you're the one in shorts around the corner. I literally telling an anecdote about wearing them out and about. Right, and what's the rest of the anecdote? There's no anecdote. It's not on my list of anecdotes I've noted in my phone to tell on the podcast this week. How did you go to the carfell? Um, pair of gloves. Hello?

I don't know what that's funny. Just someone not wearing enough clothes to go get gloves with his legs. I know. No, it did some trousers on. No one should be putting gloves. No one should be putting gloves on before trousers unless you play professional football. They were for my daughter to be further gloves. But yes. I tell you what I've got, I've got like a rug, not a rug, like a blanket over my legs, like I'm an old, an old person.

What, why are you doing this podcast? Yeah, look. Oh my God. So I feel a bit like, you know, like an old novelist, that trilogy and he's too old or she's too old to do it so like the agents around the government I've got a blanket for your legs and see how you get on get try and do 100 words so why is it so cold for you? It's minus five today it said on my little thing I've got the heat or on full blast if you can hear that in the background I'm sorry but I will not be able to it's so cold in a.... I'm a a a a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I'm I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to try. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tr. I tr. I tre. I tre. I'm true. I'm true. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. try. try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try my little shed thing that I put my headphones in my ears and they were so cold I screamed. Because it felt like they were going inside me because they're not like big over the little ones like little ones you get when you've got an eye phone

yeah wired ones. Yeah. It's so cold. Anyway but when's it going to get warmer? It's been frosty for ages. My water's gone again. My water's so cold. Anyway, but when's it going to get warmer? It's been this it's been frosty for ages My my water's gone again They in fact I'm waiting for a call for my plumber. Oh really your water's gone. Yeah Hot water well, no, no water pressure which is related to the hot water right. Okay, you know to do that pressure in the boiler? the pressure in a boiler. to the thrown. to you know. to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the the thin. thin. thin. thin. the thin. the the the tho. tho. the the the that that that that that that the that that that the the the the that that that that tooomper. tooomper. too. too. to the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the water. the to. the too. too. the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. too. to too. to work. Oh you've done that, you know that one though. That's entry level boiler stuff. I did the thing that worked last time, it didn't work. Well we in between, basically we got that little computerized, you know the little app thing for the heater? The nest, whatever they called it, we got one of them. And basically what had happened was that something, something it broke the thing. So now we've got it on like an even level. But in between getting a new thing, some sort of stat, whatever it was called, the plumber guy taught me through putting on the manual override.

Oh God. Which meant it just had hot water the whole time and then obviously you turn it off and you program it which is what we've got now now now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tape. tom. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. too. too. te now and it comes on and off at the right times. I'm manually, and he's made me take photos of my boiler and then he sent me back photos but he'd drawn on them. Amazing. Of like which pipe and which one to do. So I manually overrided the hot water. I felt like, you know the bloke in Drasik Park when he tries to escape after doing something naughty. Yeah, I was the the th. th. thine thine thine thine thine thine thi I thi I thi I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho' thoom-I thoom-I thi thrown to to to thoom. I've to thoom. I've thoom. I've thia thi th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's to to to to to to to to toge. to try try to try to to to to try to to to to to to to to to try try try try try try tries to escape after doing something naughty. Yeah. I was gonna say the fat bloke, can you say that now? No, but it was an old film so it's fine. Yeah, that's fine isn't it? I don't know if you can say so. At the time that's the character we played. I don't, I don't, I'd just sound like one of them like, um, Gabons, like sort of old broadcasters. Togle, they they they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they're, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, th, th, th, th, th. th. tho, tho, th. that, that, that, tho, tho, that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. that's that's tho. that's that's that's like defend the Royals you know them people that's all wheel out but I don't know I genuinely really am struggling I don't know what are you to say anymore but I don't think you're doing a very good job Rob of a man I'd say I'd say actually Rob you're far more progressive than people realize you are because

you're really yeah yeah okay so that's always going to have dragged me down a little bit, isn't it? No, no, no, but it doesn't drag you down, does it? It buys you, they go, oh yeah, it's just Rob, it's just cheeky-chapy, Rob Beckett. Yeah, he's saying bird in a loving way. Yeah, exactly. He's salt with it, bloody, yeah. Oh, come it, I'll come here. tree. the th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. th. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. No, it, it to call someone treecle, I'd be arrested and rightly so. Yeah, but Byrd is a bit dismissive if you know the person's name but I think a bird's, bird's okay if you don't know the person they're dating because bird originally means... You've told me this before, Rob, it feels like it's your defense that you have to wheel out about once a week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to me, to to be to me, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. told to to to to to the. to the. the. the. the., let me explain this to sit down. Right, where's my tea? Right, come. This is how the words work. Right, don't make me explain to you the meaning of bird, but I don't really use bird that much anymore.

I don't meet new people to be there. Everyone's got a wife, that I know their name now. Bird gets used a lot where he's got a new bird when you don't know who it is but you'd say bird said a girlfriend but I wouldn't in the person go that's what mate Steve and that's his bird and just point out a woman no no of course that would you have used bird in the in the olden days in the olden day what when you were 20s when you were in your 20s I would use bird as in um he's bringing his bird or he's got a new bird but but but but the only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th th I th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th I th I th I th I th. th. th. th. th. I that's th. that's that's th. th. that's that's that's that's th. that's that's th I that's th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th I th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's the that's that's that's that's that's or he's out of his bird or he's got a new bird But only if I didn't know they were you know when someone starts seeing someone a region thing Yeah, so it's not like a I I would never ever refer to oh just some birds or if I knew a person

I wouldn't say or what you do with that but a bird like once I've got their names I would be if you didn't know And someone they'll just go he's out out out out out out out out out out out out out out the the the he's he's he's the he's the he's he's the he's the the he's the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their I was I was I was I'm they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's I'm so I'm so I'll they's I'll they's I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the their the their they. they. toy. toy. they. they. they. they. the they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the their names, I would, but if you didn't know, and someone said, oh he's out, they'll just go, he's out of a new bird, like, are we seeing someone? Would you ever refer to Lou as your bird? No. Never. But yeah, that's the only time to use the word bird, but then they used like word pet, don't they in Newcastle? Yeah, that's a bit weird, isn't it it, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's thou. that's the. the. the., Lou had gone away for a week to the Big Apple. Yeah, yeah, do you know what? I was cocky because I looked after them when she went away on holiday a few years ago for five nights. They had a one-year-old and a three-year-old and I was like, well, seven and five in school. This is going to be a piece of piece.

But actually, what I found was it was, I can't wait, I can't wake up. I'm not very good at waking up in the morning, so everything was ten times harder for me until about 10 a.m. So does Lou normally do the I will do help with like last bits and bobs of getting them dressed, shoes on teeth. And then I'll- I made, I didn't know this. I'll take them to school. And then I'll come back and go to work. So that's how we know because Lou's up at half six anyway normally, so but I can't do it so I get up about half sevenish and then do the school run. In exchange for the hour you do the school run. Yeah exactly but then sometimes that changes depend on my work or sometimes if lose knack and I'll

get up and just do it and we stop and change like if I'm not working or whatever I'll get up half six but the default is you're half a. But the default is your half seven I'd say that's about right a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I I I I I I'm I'm I'm I'll their I'm their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll I I'll the the the the the the the th I'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the black eye, sent us a score of a black eye, quite a bad one. She lifted up her jiggly bug, you know that thing we spoke about? For some reason lifted it up. Rob, they're just for people who didn't listen to last week, that does sound like a euphemism so let's just be clear what whatthe eye. It's quite a bad one but I'll send you the picture of the black eye if you want it. She's got a black eye. It's really bad as well but like it looked to be like eye shadow she looked like makeup but yeah but I sent it to Lou and I was like oh she's just saying no she's got a black eye and she was like yeah why they'll they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll just just just just just just just just just they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they they'll they'll they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the th the to they're the the they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll you should tell the teachers if she's got a black eye.

And I was like, why? They'll know. Do you know what I mean? I don't think it's going to be like... Oh, it's a proper shiner. I know, it's bad one, isn't it? But then I think... Oh my word.

This brings us back to the school about a black eye. Does it? I don't know if it does or doesn't. Well for me, I'd Lou would go, oh God, I've got to tell the school about a black eye. I'm like, do you? That's an opinion-based thing. Like I, I, you're increasing your admin load there and I'm not, but I'm not telling them. But who's right, who's wrong? I think my, my policy is ignorance is bliss, wait and then apologize. Oh sorry I didn't realize that to tell you basically rather that like be reactive rather than proactive. I think if you're being proactive yeah it's it feels like you're trying to get your story in first. I I think I think with a black-eyed a kid I just think just go yeah yeah and then just explain when they ask. I mean if they you know that's my policy anyway. I didn't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th they th th th th th th th th th th th th. Yeah th. Yeah that that that. Yeah the. Yeah th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I mean if they, you know, that's my policy anyway, but I didn't have the time to send it. Did they ask? No, no, no one cared. You were quite panicked. I had a meeting with you about our live show. Yeah, that was a bad day. Yeah, that was a bad day. Well, no,

it wasn't the meeting was great, but yeah, so the meeting was a lot of energy coming off here. Right, okay, so hear me out. Right, so, I've been, I was getting up at half six, getting them ready, dropping them off to school at eight, and then I was having, we was doing lots of podcast, I had to go to the bank to do some, a transfer which is always stressful. I just think, if you working full-time. I don't know how you look after your children or get anything done, because it's impossible. Like we're very lucky and privilege that Lou's not back at work yet and things like that.

But he's just absolutely carnage, so I'd get them up, drop them off, and then I got to go off and do all my stuff. Then I got up to Farringleur-in-lothed and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their but was going to finish later and pick up. I've got the father-in-law granddad's going to get them from school, but then the nan had taken our house key with her somewhere else. So he was like, oh I'm going to have to take him back to mine, which is a longer walk. It was really cold. And then I was like, well I'll order them some food, and then I'll order them some like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I' their, I' their, I' their, I', I', their, their, their, their, I', I', I', I', I', their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, their their their house, their house, their their house, their their house, their house, their house, their house, their house, their house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, our house, the house and then we're in a meeting about I say what so many screens do you want at the arena and then my father-in-law was like they don't want McDonald also on Peac-Express one with cheese but I was like oh my so I'm trying to order a piece of their own. You see not got deliver who deserve love arts because he doesn't

know what he's doing. Please tell me he's got a Spotify, Rob. He's got a pair of trainers. He's a trainer. this man's got a pair of white nightmonaux on the move. Not because not because he collects trainers. No not because he's a sneak ahead. This man's got a pair of white night monarchs for taking the bins out. Lovely Granddad, lovely man. Do anything for you but he's not, I wouldn't say he's on top of things with the old apps.

So then I'm trying to send that to them and then, but basically we've got a lady's coming to a seven year old, a to...... to. to. to. to. So. So. So. So. So. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. to. to. to. to. the. the, to. the, the, their, the, the, the, their. their, their, the, the, their, their, their, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. So, the, the, the, the. So, the. So, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, they. their, their, their, their. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to help the seven-year-old a tutor with her maths okay right because I wanted to talk about this another episode but I haven't got it didn't have time I I I Josh I would say I am borderline thick I don't know if you can't mean borderline Rob when it comes to academia I am I basically I think I could have thou the full ticket tick. the tick. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to the the to to to to to the to to to to to the to to to to to to to to the to to to to me to me to me to me me me to me me me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toooe.o. I to me to me have got a free computer if I went down the right channels. I am not the full ticket. When life, I'm all right. If you're not just, you're, you're both one of the sharpest and least sharp people I've ever met. Honestly, Josh, it's awful. Yeah. On a, like, if you, you know, like a football management game or on FIFA or something, you'd be one of those players that's either got 99s or ones. Do you know what I mean? WIT 99. Oh thanks, I'll take that. Yeah, and also a surprisingly high kind of spirituality side. Yeah, I'll take that. Yeah, so a

deep thinker than you think he's going to be when you sign him, right? Yeah. But I imagine academic maths one. Oh, mate. A bottom set, bottom set in a massive school. Not even bottom set in like a grammar school, bottom set in a comprehensive in South East London. That is an achievement. That is how thick you have to be to be bottom set in a school of 2,000 people. 300 people I'm in the 1% but the wrong 1%. Where was I, Rob? Do you want to have a bet where I was in maths? Go on. I was the worst. I was the worst in the top set. Oh, here he comes. Absolutely.

I was trying to do their own work. She's seven. I'm out the game already, Josh. That must be a record. That must be a parent record, isn't it? Yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't know what they're doing at 7. Because to be honest, I was struggling with phonics the other day. I had to Google what a red word was. She was doing her at a time. Who's writing that? What greedy bastard needs to know that? Don't know what a noun is. Objective, describing word, verb noun, no idea. My seven-year-old keeps telling me I'm doing it wrong. Yeah, yeah. And she's right. But you've got an incredible ability with like socializing, and you've got a very fast mind,

and you think very clearly. So did that come into any of the topics? Was there any subjects where those skills played in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so what I did was, I went, I tell you what, Rob, why don't you go out do a gig, get some money and pay someone that knows what they're talking about to do it for your daughter. That's how my mind worked. Get the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thu. thu. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoes. thoes. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thin. thin. thin. thi. to. to. too. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. tops. the world. Because this is that I think sometimes when it comes to this it's like I'm not plastering my wall why am I trying to teach my daughter maths for once a week so anyway so we've got she's brilliant and the girls love it because when we were doing it I didn't know what was doing Lou was getting stressed our daughters love it they're like oh she's coming brilliant and they they they sit there and they're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the tho. the. the. the. the. the. th I'm th I'm th is their their their their their I'm their I'm their I's their I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their I I I I I I the th I I th I I th I's th I's the the th th the the th th th th th th thr thr thr thr thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. te. te. te. te. te. thou the. the the thrown. thrown. th, enjoy it, learn how to do it. I'm like, that's the best money I've spent all week, because it's not really the homework's not that intense,

but just to do that and then we feel like less guilty that we're, because I think I was making her worse. Because I didn't understand it, I feel like, I need to do a course minute drive around the corner, I'm in Farringdon. She's coming around at 5.30 and I'm like, okay, right, well what I'll do is we're finishing the meeting at four, it's hour and a half, it wouldn't take any longer to get from Faradden to Bromley that normally an hour but if it's really bad traffic, hour and half, some reason the worst traffic ever tell you what, I'll ring, I'll ring the teacher and say, look, we're going to be a bit late, blah, blah, blah, I haven't got a number.

Only Lou's got a number. Oh my God. She's in New York, asleep. Big apple. Big apple. I don't know what she's doing. I think she was having a massage somewhere, which I'm going trying to get the tutors number anyway I get it I ring the the lady and she's like yeah no worries

don't worry I'll be there at quarter six anyway I'm not I'm not there till six she's weighing outside then I get the kids chuck him in the car get back home she's there hello you're right taken a delivery? Well, yeah, she stood there at of a box, right? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Anyway, we get it, open the door. Then I remember I've got a dog dog. The dog's been walked because I've got a dog walker in because I'm up in London having meetings. Oh my God.

However, the dog walked the door, piss on the floor, dog's jumping up. The dog, wait wait, there's piss on the floor. You didn't open the door and open the floor, no, no, no, no, show who's boss. Open the door. Piss on the door. Wock on the dog. Wock on the dog. Wock on the dog. Wo' so she can do it, carefree. He's jumping up, she stood there, shit in herself, do you know what she's holding? The dog's dog's

dog food. So now the dog's triple excited. There's a new person, his dog food's there and he's not seen anyone for about four or five hours. He's buzzing, right? Awful. Piss on the floor. And then, yeah, I've got two kids as well. They're tired, it's 6 o'clock, they won't have a bath. And you get, and you get everyone. Anyway, dog gets launched in the garden, right? And then I'll put the tutor with the first kid in the front room. I'm like, sorry, we can't do it here here here here herethe screen, fall asleep, wake up at 2 a.m., go to bed, wake up at half six, ready to do it again. Oh my God.

And I just don't know how Lou does it, because I'm falling apart here, Josh. Yeah. Well, the two bottles of beer aren't helping. I'm falling at 2 a.m. on the sofa. What what. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I................................................... I. I. I. is you waking up at 2 a.m. on the sofa. What was playing on the screen? What were you holding? What position were you in? I'm waking up. The beer bottles next to me, empty, and I'm just arms out, just sort of like legs up, asleep. Yeah. What's happening as well, Josh, which is I've not factored in is Arsenal are really good at football at the moment. Yeah, yeah, they are very good. Really good at football, which is exhausting as a fan because I'm consuming... You care for the first time of a decade. I'm consuming every single bit of content. I'm watching, match the day three times. It's hard to keep up with your team being good, I've found. Tell me about it, Rob, plimith the top as well. You're not. I, I, I, I, I, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I'm their, I'm consuming. their, I'm consuming. their their, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming. their their their their their their their their their their, I'm consuming. I'm consuming. I'm consuming, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've their, I've tiped. tiped. tipe, I'm consuming. tape, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I've today, I'm consuming, I'm consuming, I've their sa, you're not giving me the, you know, but I'm trying to taking that in my stride. No wonder we're both in such good mood. Yeah, exactly. So I'm in a good mood. I'm just a bit exhausted. So there's too much to take in because Arsenal are doing well and that could go on till May. Yeah, but when they're seven and five and five and five their seven and five, it it's is is is is is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five is their seven seven seven is seven and five is their their seven and five is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they's in they're in they're in they're in they're in they're in they're in they're in they're in their th in th in th in th and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five and five is th is th. is th. th. th's th. the and five and five and five and five. seven seven seven seven seven seven seven and five. seven seven seven and five. seven seven and five. their seven seven and five. their their their moving. And hot, my eyes felt hot the other day.

I've never had hot eyes before of you. I've not had hot eyes, no. My eyes were just hot and I was like, why my eyes hot? It shouldn't be hot. So, so you'd say Lou going away, uh, wasn't the success you'd hoped for yourself? No, I think I got cocky and then what happened was due to unforeseen circumstances, loads of stuff had to happen admin-wise and work-wise that week.

I'd go to the bank twice and then had to call to the solicitor, go up and sort of out the arena tour with you. And then I was working on Friday night and then I had to get my brother to babysit Friday night because it was all... You did fall asleep briefly in the arena meeting? Did I? Was it talking about your bit? Oh come on there. But yeah or what else happened? They've been playing tricks on me so they stole the first aid box, right? Right. And hid it in the eldest room and would you have noticed that? Only when they had loads of plasters on them. Oh no. I was like, why they got so they they got so they got so they got so they they they they they they they they they they they had they had they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they're their their their their their their their their th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. they're they're the. the. too. to to to to to to to to to to toooooooe. to toge. to. to. And I was like, oh no. I know they had one plaster. Their fingers were covered in plaster.

You're just the thing about your daughters, Robert, is they work as a team. I know, they really do. That's a lovely bonding situation. But you basically are two teams in your house, adults versus kids. 100% they team they double up yeah there's more there's more of them than you it's lovely they get on so well when they're bullying you though I'm not going back to university to be your friend I'm going so I can get Uber one for students it saves you on Uber and Uber eats

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experience. Start planning your New Brunswick Getaway at Tourism NB.CA. Yeah, so I found it under the chest of drawers and there were just loads of plaster wrappers everywhere. So they've been doing that. I didn't wash their hair for a week. I washed it on Saturday, which was fine. They were sort of surviving. It's fine. No one fucking notices that kind of shit. Oh yeah so my brother at to look after him on Friday when I was I was going up in to London so the he came around about fourish and oh yeah one thing they've had pizza express four times this

week. Oh my word it's a good chain. It's a good chain. Which is it the same meal every night as well, Rob? Well, so this is how it happened and I don't think it's my fault. I took him out Wednesday. They wanted to go for dinner and they picked there. I was like, okay, we'll go there. So he went out for there, right? Then the next day was the meeting when I was going to get them like them them them the m m m. I'm the m. I'm the m. I was the m. I was going the m. I was going the m. I was going the m. I was going they. I was going to get they. I was going to get to get to get to get to get they. I was thi. thi. I was going thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was to get. I was to. I was to. I was to. I'm to. I'm theeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I and went, we want that. And I was like, I can't pick an argument here. I'm in the middle of a meeting. Yeah, right. So that happened. Then, and then on the Friday, my brother

comes to babysit and he said to, like, I was like, I'll just get you, I can't expect someone to cook my kid's dinner. And he went, I've ordered everyone Pizza Express. I was like, well, that's four nights in a row. They've had that. I think that's good though. It could be worse than Pizza Express, couldn't it? It's quite carb. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It is quite, I don't think a children need to worry about carbs. Exactly. They're all right. Doe balls up, it's not been, well, also, do you want to feel better?

Well, I've got, I've got more that we're wrong. Oh, okay. If you want, I'm building to something awful. Oh, okay, well, I'll build away. Okay, then we'll do yours so I can get it out. So my brother Joe had them, they love that. And they were really quiet. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I've tho. I've they're tho. I've they're they're thi. I've thi. I've they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've tired. I've tired. I've tired. I've tired. I've tired. I've tho. I've tho. I've thi. I've thi. I've they're in bed already. I was like, blimie, he's done better than me here. So what time do they normally go to bed, Rob? Well, they're not normally have a bath about sevenish, let them play.

And I'm trying to get him in about half seven and then I reckon asleep by eight. Half seven, right? But it was getting later and later and they're allowed their iPads and he's got me in bed already, he smashed it. However, what I didn't realize was, what, he'd let him have the iPads in the bed. We don't really let him do that. Obviously they're not telling him. And then I'm about to go on stage to do this gig at half ten and he messaged going, should I take the iPads off him at some point. And I literally looked at it as I walked on stage, oh fuck sake. And then they loved it though. So then he went up because he sort of clicks, yeah, they probably shouldn't have him still. He went up there, he said they were like actual zombies because they'd been sat there for two hours watching iPads.

Oh my God. He took the iPads off him at 11. Then the next day we went to our friends who live near Heathrow because we're having a sleep over on the Saturday and then our friend he was going to go, I was going to look after all the kids and he was going to go and pick up our wives from the airport and bring them back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, five, nine in the morning. Anyway, so he went around there. They've had a pizza express again. fun with their friends when they're going to do Lally, we're watching the football and then the boxing's on. The kids, honestly, we didn't realize it, we thought they're asleep,

they weren't, that we, half 11 at night, they're still awake. Right? So we're like, right. You've got to go to bed now, you're going to see your mummies in the morning, my kids. My kids are so I don't they they they they they they they they they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just. I don't. I don't they're just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't they're just. I don't th th th tho. I don't tho. I don't work out the sleeping arrangements earlier in the day when they were compusmentors. Yeah, yeah. So now it's midnight. They're exhausted. They've had too much sugar, too much express, too much life. Too much express.

Going mental, right? And at one point, they're screaming in the house down at someone else's house going, we hate you, we don't like you, we want mummy back and I just went, so do I. It was all, but it was because they were off, they were just like hysterical, they don't cuddle me either Josh which is horrible. What? Because of my beard. They'll only cuddle me if I cover my face with a jumper. Right, okay. Because I'm scratchy because my beard. Because I'm not, well, I'm scratchy because my beard. In many ways that's creating more kind of long standing issues.

I know about cudding. I know. I know, that's cudding. And then I was like, well, should I shave my beard off the beard? And they went no because I'm their their th. Well, well, well, well, th. Sh. Shshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshshsh- th, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th. And th, well, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, the, the, the, they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll theeat, thee. Because, the. Because, Lou here. You do look better with a beard. You do look better with a beard. And can I tell you when I got annoyed with Lou when she was away? Yep. So my brother come around and we're giving him like a cot and a buggy for his baby. You know, he's the one who's gonna have it all sorted in two months. Him and his wife, I'm gonna start like, to to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to to to to thk, th. to th. th. to to to to th. th. th. that, that, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, tho, th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo like I was like oh Lou was supposed to have got the buggy off her mate or something but then a mate forgot to drop it so I've messaged when oh they really want the stuff can you get it off your mate because they want to get it all set up like that and I

was with Joe and she was like yeah yeah I can't message them now though because I'm walking and I was just I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the home with two kids about to go work so you know you can't message now because you're you know he's just like how about you stop walking have you got about stop walking and message just to stand for a bit and just message I can't what's that now because I'm walking also sent Vila what's that yeah yeah you could have just not sent this one and send that one yeah maybe but yeah I was quite busy at that point that point they but that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're that that that that to to thou to to that to that thou the the the the tho tho tho they're they're they're they're just not sent this one and sent that one. Yeah, maybe. But yeah, I was quite busy at that point, quite stressed, but she was walking. I got internally angry with Rose this week in a similar way, Rob. Yeah, I wasn't internally. I've told Lou that. And now the world. So I discussed it with Rose afterwards. And I said, I will, I will need to discuss this on the podcast. Because it, I the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I will th. I will th. I will th. I will th. I will th. I will th. I will th. I will the. I will to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that, I'll that, I'll that, I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I'll that. I will that. I will that. I will that. I will that. I th. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I will the. I will the. I will the. I will the. I will the. I will the. I will to to to to to to to the. I will to to to to to to to to that the. I will that the.this on the podcast because it makes you look worse than you do so it's an ideal story for me. So yesterday Rose was invited to her friend's

birthday yeah so I was looking after both kids in the afternoon although my daughter went to her friends but I was looking after our son yeah who then I went to take him out he didn't want to get in the pram so he just decided we had to walk yeah went to take him out, he didn't want to get in the pram, so he just decided we had to walk in the fucking freezing cold drop. I left my coat in the car. Is he too big for a pupus now? Yeah, yeah, he's too big for a pupus.

They'd hate that, just kick you in the nuts. He's bigger than you. Could you get in his pupoos. Can he walk you? Quite happily. I'd love a massive bloke just to walk me around in a puppoose. Tom Davis? I'd get Tom Davis and just strap myself to him and he just walk around it'd be lovely. So I'm like my coat's in the car, we'll walk to the car and then we'll walk to the towar and then we'll walk to the shop, right? Yeah. Get to the car, obviously my coat's not in the car. Obviously, I've left it in the house by mistake. You're in your shorts? No, I'm in my trousers, but it's too late to go back to the house.

You won't go back to the house, and a half Rob. This is the first time I've been in a shot with him where he's not in the pram. It's a fucking nightmare because he wants to pick up everything. Yeah, finally get through the shop and then he starts walking in the wrong direction. We've got to kill time anyway. Before I know it, I stood in the park without a coat. Oh no, I'm just getting in a bad the the the the the the thi thiiiii thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolathing. thi. thi. the' the' the' thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin's thin's thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. He's th off. Yeah, how does Rose fault by the way? Well, I know I'm just getting in a bad mood. So in my head I'm lashing out. I'm lashing out. Okay. I'm lashing out. I'm like, you know, I don't like to pick sides, but at the moment. Yeah. I'm really struggling to be on your side at this point if Rose is in trouble for this. Then I have to go to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the get the get the get the get the get the get the get the get the get the get the get the get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get my to get their their to get to get th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. thro. thro. to the. I's. I's. th. th. th. the. I's. th. I's. th. I's. I's th a friend's house. No coat. No coat. Fine. Drive back to our house get us in make dinner. Right. Got to bath time. Yeah.

Rose still not really heard from Rose. She's gone out for afternoon drinks. The bath doesn't work because the plumbing's gone because the cold. Yeah. At that point. Rose texts. The path doesn't work. Sorry. My path doesn't work. So then I get a message from Rose. These are the words. Go on. Clarages is amazing. We should definitely come here. How is it going? Unbelievable. I don't, that's, I don't think, I've been to give... It's not her fault. Her frileges. It's not her fault I th fault I th fault I th fault I's th fault I's th fault I'm thoom fault I'm having thoomom. I'm having think I've not to give... It's not her fault. It's not her fault. Her friend's birthday was at Clarages. It's not her fault I'm having a nightmare. But the timing... Also, who's her friend, Camilla Parker Bowles? She had one of them lunches.

Um, so absolutely that moment was a low. But also, I don't, I don't think you need to know that. Like, I'm a bit on your side. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm a th. th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm that. Like I'm a bit on your side. She doesn't know that it's going on. She doesn't know I'm having a nightmare. If she knew I was having a night, if I had gone, I'm having a fucking nightmare and she'd gone terraces is amazing. She hasn't. She's just gone, we should come here, this is fun. She's not thinking. She's enjoying herself. But someone else enjoying themselves is not okay. to thinn't. the the their. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I I I. thin. the thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. If I. If I. If I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've tho. If I've I've I've I've thoeou. If I've thin. If I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've their I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I I've I. If I I I I I I I. If I I I I. If I I. If I. If I I. If I. If I. If I. If I. If I. If I. If I. If I. If I. If I've I've I've I've I've. If I've. If I've. If I've. I've. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've gone. I've. I've like why she gets to do that and I know I'm doing this in my head and then I was like well I could do things you can do things I could do things it's my own issue I'm not doing things yeah when you go when you're gonna go I was going on my own to clarages next weekend just to sit there but also it is a bit like it is a given that cleagin that the the the the the the the the the is a the is a the is a the is a the is a the is a th is a th is a th is a that is a that is a that is a th is a th is a th is a that is a th is a to is a to is a to is a to is a to to is a to is a to is a to is a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th is a th is a th is a th is a th. I I I I I I I I I I is a th. I is a th. I is a th. I is a th. I is a th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm just. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm that Clarages is a matter. I think that text is more, do you know what, Claridge is a bit overrated? Like, I think that's not news. It's like, I tell you what, Josh, blow jobs are good. She's never sent me that.

Bit of fun. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. So, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. I, to, to. I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, t. I'll, tell. I'll, t. I'll, tell. I'll, tell. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I mean, I'll be honest, and I didn't get much sleep, or the sleepover, because my kids were going mental, and I was just sort of at someone else's house, and then I had to come back and then we did radio too, which was fun, to be honest about it.

But yeah, now it's Monday morning, back in the game. Good, good. So yeah, it's all, it's fine, that... You struggled. I really struggled with the mental load. No, the mental capacity, there's so many things to think about and on top of like other things work related, you know, like, I'm trying to, like, speak to a solicitor, plan an arena tour, make sure I know enough about Alicia Dto her not just about mystique and then on top of that go oh do you need a taekondo kit it's art it's four o'clock yeah no my kids it's art this day oh but they get picked up at four oh actually they need to bear fancy dress because it's something or something else or they've got enough housepoint so it's a blue t-shirt and like oh my god

and I don't know where this information comes th th from from from from from from from from from from from from from from this information this information this information this information this information this information this information this information this information this information this information th this information comes from. Like there's a little parents group that basically I just copy whatever they do. I'm quite good on this information. We've got we've got two friends who are parents at the same school. Yeah, who are bad at it and do you want to hear something bad Rob? But they're bad at being parents. They're bad at knowing if say for instance it's a non-uniform day. Right so it makes you feel thi bad. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi bad. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho-I tho-I tho-I tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th th th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi. I the. I'm theeeeeeeeeeat theeeeeeat they're thoooooooooooooooo. I the. Right so it makes you feel better. Yeah but you want to know something bad Rob? Occasionally, yeah. Of a morning it'll be like wear yellow for mental health or whatever it is. Yeah yeah and I'll think I could text them here but but I do you know what I'm not gonna why does that go? Isn't that bad, Rob? But it's not my job to do their mental load. It's not my job to do their mental load.

I love that. I respect that, actually. In the way, it's all horrible. But it's not my job to think I. However, the fact that you thought they probably don't know and decided to withhold the information is a little bit snaky. I don't know, Rob, it's very, it's very, in the morning, you're just, it's sometimes too rushed to send a to,

I'm walking, I can't what's out. Yeah, I'm walking again, blame the kid. He's walking to the shop without coat, he couldn't possibly send that mess. Yeah, but my thought is, it's funny for them, but then also, if it was, if that was an adult going into work, I think that's fine. But when it's the kid, and then I'd feel bad for the kid turning up not in the right staff. So, I've got good news for you, Rob. Go on.

This is going to blow your mind. Right, go on. Talk about it. Got a text from my friend who's having a child. Wednesday, 9th, 28 p.m. Just went to my first NCT class. Yeah. They recommended your podcast.

Really? You're officially NCT recommended. Where's our cut? We've made it. That is a bit slightly worried though, isn't it? What episodes are they recommending? Do you think they're recommending? Tom Parry? You must realize that the reason they recommend that is most people think they're shit. And then when they listen to this, they realize they're not. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's not like a great, oh, they're they're great, they're they're. Oh, they're. Oh, they're. Oh, they're. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. th. the. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th, yeah, exactly. That's it. We know it's not like a great, oh, they're great thinkers on the subject. No. Wonderful academics that know exactly what to do with the child. They don't know what to do so make you feel better about your kid. Yeah. We just get my brother on though as an expert seeing as you'll have it done in two months. So is your brother the expert the same one that the the the the the th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your brother is your the the the the the the the the th. Is th. Is th. Is the the th. Is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. that. that. thi. that. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I their. I the same one that gave him the iPad till 1030? Yeah that guy. Yeah he's quite laid back though Joe. Now I think it'd be a great dad to be

fair then he's very laid back isn't he yeah. Very true yeah you've met him a few times at festivals and stuff. Do you want to know something that's happened since my daughter turned five well this was another annoying thing, Rob. Yeah. Roses, Rose's had a good weekend. She deserves it? Don't get me wrong, she deserves it. So Saturday afternoon, we decide we're going to, after his nap, we'll divide and conquer. Yeah? Yeah. I'll take him to the park. Of course you will. Of course I've not been in a week. I thought I fancy it. Good weather for it at the moment. Good weather for it. I fancied it. The good thing with the park, Rob, I thought I'm on a win here. I walk

the long route round. It's a good 40 minutes in my own head before I let him out of the ducks. Yes. Also as well as well with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with the the the th. With th. th. th. th. th. th as well, with the frozen lake at the moment, he could probably catch a duck. There's no escape. Dangerous. Don't let kids on the ice, but I'm saying he could sprint across and grab one. So do two and three quarter hours, including taking for dinner in a cafe. Oh, I can't say you've been freezing outside for that. I just spun it out, Rob, I just spun it out. My daughter th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. that, I that, thoes, th. th. th. th. Don't, th. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that, that, that, thr. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. Don't, thooo the game she was playing before I left, which is a game she won't even let adults be a part of. What is it? I don't know, because she

won't let you ask. She's like a private game with her teddies and supplies and all this kind of stuff. Rose has had two and three quarter hours. Of my daughter, and my daughter just going, don't come near me. An unbelievable term of race. I don't think that's dividing and combated it. But we didn't know it was going to happen, but the luck. Now you know. I'd always take a five-year-old over an 18-month-old though. Yeah, so right. That is an easier shift, did it? She had had had had had had a a good a good a good a good a good good good good a good good good good good good the th had a good th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho thoom weekend thoomoomo thathea. But, thoomo, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to happen. But, too, tho, tho, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, tho. And, thoooooooooooooooooo. And, tha. And, tha. And, thoooooo. And, th 18-month-old though. Yeah, so right, yeah. That is an easier shift, did it? She's had a good weekend, hasn't she? The next day, we went to gymnastics, me and my daughter,

yeah, and then she went to her friend's house. I basically haven't seen my daughter all weekend. I'm losing her, I'm losing her. I'm losing her, an afternoon. You are? Well, I would say I'd be quite happy if my children didn't want me near them for two days. At the moment, I'd say, look after both of them for six nights and then you'd be quite glad of that. Wait until they're aware of the podcast, they'll swiftly not want you near them, Rob. Oh no, I love them! I love them so much! No, I do love them, but I just, it was a busy week, Josh. Do you want to know how disorganized I am Rob? Go on.

I did some work last Tuesday, yeah. Yeah. And then the following Friday, or Monday even, the following Monday, my agent text me says, do you want your wallet? I was like, what? And I'd left my wallet on the the the the the the the the the following Monday, my agent text me says, do you want your wallet? I was like, what? And I'd left my wallet on the Tuesday. I still had noticed by the following Monday that I hadn't got my wallet. For a week?

For a week. I hadn't noticed I could not got my wallet. But it's all on Apple pay now. The wallet is defunct. Yeah, but no, but did you not buy anything online and need the security code? It's all in my phone Rob I know my security code. You know your security code? I know my security is three numbers. I was gonna say it then. It's it's one four six. Mr. J. Widakum account number six time four four hours he's I don't I lived a week without my wallet without realizing that is dangerous Josh you're not not cash the the the the there the the there the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. It's all that's all that's all that's all in that's all in that's all that's all in that's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I that's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's. It's. It's all. It's all. It's all all all all all all all all all. It's all all all all. It's all th. I's all th. I's all th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. wallet without realizing. That is dangerous, Josh. You're not a cash guy either.

There's no cash in East London. It's all online. It's all online. I get a alert every time someone uses my card on my phone, so it's fine. God, you're really across it. You're quite organized, it seems. No, I don't know how a notification saying that your parking's like got an hour left which is quite good but then when I've got in the car and drove off it's still there

like I'm in the house and it's like warning parking I'm not fucking there but then I should just turn it off shouldn't you should just turn it off shouldn't that's more that's more that's more that's more on me than Ringo busy men busy busy people I think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that's. Busy people. I think I think all in all though, Rob. Yeah. You've got through your week. See it like that. Yeah, it was good. It was good for Lou. It was good for me. Good for the girls. I didn't really. I knew how busy is for Lou doing it. But I don't think I really appreciate the gear shift now that you're basically the children's PA with logistics and they're doing this that day that day. that that that that. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. We's the. the. to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th logistics and they're doing this that day, that day, homework, then spellings, maths, all that, all the moving parts of it all. So yeah, I do. But I think if I did it again, I'd take a couple of days holiday properly just to sort of focus on it. So I didn't do any washing either, which is bad. But I want really in the house. the house. But I didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the moving. the moving. the moving. the moving. the moving. the moving. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. tod. today. today. today. today. the, you've got to do tumble dry, nothing's dried in the house. So there is a lot of washing for Lou, which is probably why she's absolutely livid with me today.

Hats off to Rose on, basically when me, this shows me in a bad light, Rob. Perfect. But when me and Rose got together, I basically, I just did all of my clothes in one wash. I didn't realize there was different types of wash. Like colors and whites. Yeah. I brought up that I don't know how to, I just did that.

At that point she kind of took on the washing. Yeah. I haven't done one since, Rob. No, Lou does the washing in our house as well. Am I a terrible modern man? Um, because there's so many cliches, like, I do the bins, Rose does the wash, do you know what I mean? Yeah, but I'd rather do the bins and the washing. I think Lou would rather do the washing than the bins.

Yeah, but then it's just every household has different jobs. dishwasher really main I'm the main dishwasher guy are you yeah yeah yeah I'd say I'm about 60 40 on the dish no I'm looking at 95% now unless I'm away then Lou obviously has to do it yeah just leave it building up but I do with the actual washing yeah I should have a load on fuck do you know which the different loads are Rob and what what program you put them on well I always just do a quick wash I always did quick wash if I do a wash it's a quick wash. I'm like the options are insane there's so many options. Do you know what I mean? Just fucking quick wash. It's a quick wash but I think the hot water was too hot in our house. We've turned it down now but I think the hot water was too hot and I think it was shrinking my the the water. the water was the water was the water was th. the water was th. the water was th. the water was th. It was th. It was the water. It's the water. It's the water. It's the water. It's th. the water. the water. th. th. th. th. the the the th. to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. the to. the the to. the but I think the hot water was too hot and I think was shrinking my clothes. Really? Yeah, but I don't know if the hot water, I don't know if the

washing machine heats the water itself or it takes the hot water from the hot water in the house. Do you know the answer to this? I don had our tour meeting. But we don't know if we've got the email for it yet or not or we do it all right but I tell what we do need boomer stories we want it we're going to try and get the best five boomer stories. Please send in all of your boomer stories when... Five of your bumer stories. Yes when you're th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the. I don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't th. I th. I th. I don't don't don't don't th. I don't th. I don't know tho. I don't know tho. I don't know tho. I don't know tho. I don't know tho. I don't know tho. I don't know tho. I don't probably been sitting on one thing and I can't be bothered to email, please email in, because everyone loves them and they're getting better and better and I think there's some more great stories out there. Let's be honest, an incredible one about a crap. Yeah, at the moment that's the winner. But then please send them in if you've got any one. One about a lobsterster. Any of those. No those. No those. No. No. No. No. No. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they, it's, it's, they, there, let's, let's, let's, there, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. Yeah. there. there. Yeah. Yeah, let, let, let, let, let, let. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there's there's there's some, let's some, let's some, let's the there's some some, let's some. Let's some, let's some, let's some, let's some, let's some, let's some. there's some. aceans it's any type of it. It's not all crustaceans guys. No. So yeah please send in we can email hello at

lockdown parenting.co-dook of your best boomer stories. Um should we do small business shout-out? Yes let's go. Hello there wonderfully chaotic parents. Thanks to making this fabulous podcast. I've been listening to you from the very beginning and love it. I would very much appreciate being mentioned in your small business shout out if possible. My website is Radio Birthday.com. We create surprise radio shows for loved ones or friends with personalized audio messages. And song dedications, live or pre-recorded. Imagine trying to get your nan to do a live message for someone's birthday. Here we go. We just started this little

business and as much as we think it's a great idea we have yet to make this our bigger income source. We are a Dutch slash English family living in Spain. Thanks in advance lots of love from Madrid where you are more than welcome to come. Bit strange. By the way it's not just to be to to to to to be to to to to to be to to be to the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. their their their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I's their. I's their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm just. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.a. I'm. I'm. I'm just. I'm just. A bit strange. But by the way it's not just to be use of birthdays can also be for a friend you never see or if they have young children. Oh that'd be cool if you're going away you could do hi girls and dedicate some songs and stuff like that. So that's radio birthday. There you go. Audio messages songs, jingles, logo editing. And you can do a full live one or you can do pre-recorded. Oh that'd be fun, little little things. So that's radio birthday.com if you want to record a little radio show. You could do one for like somebody who got to a job promotion or a wedding. That'd be quite fun to listen back to, wouldn't it? All your friends and family doing shout. Radio birthday. thoo. Ra, radio birthday, radio. Radio, radio. Radio, radio. Radio, radio. th. th. th. th. th. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. th. R. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th..................................................................................................... could do that actually. Fuck, let's not put that out. Michael, let's set my business up.

You can edit that. And then me and Josh can do the opening and I've earned a fortune. Fuck these lot off. I'm joking. Radio Birthday.com, getting quick before a big company nix it. All right, lads, love the podcast. I'm Jim and I live in Newport South Wales with online. And for each one sold, another is donated to the homeless. Ah, that's good.

We've donated over a thousand worn beanies so far. We also sell little beanies for kids. 15% off for listeners with the code. Sexy and Relatable. All in uppercase. The website is www.EditHats.co.uk on our Instagram is at edit underscore hats. Thanks so much and hope to see you in Cardiff next year. See you in Cardiff. Hope to see you too Jim. He's not sure he's coming but he hopes to.

Oh we've been booking some surprised guests for the arena tours and they're good. Oh yeah they're good. I can't say they are but they're good. Right Josh I'll see see see see see see Friday! Friday! Friday! See it Friday. It is Tuesday, Rob. It is Tuesday. Fuck! See on Friday! Bye.