Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP50: David Cross

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is an American comic legend. Comedian, writer, director and actor who found fame in Mr Show and Arrested Development (and of course the Alvin and the Chipmunk films) - Mr David Cross. You can get tickets for David's new tour 'The Worst Daddy In The World' here Parenting Hell is available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Make every morning unforgettable with Nisprasso. Discover a world of possibilities, with or without milk. Visit Nispresso.c.c.c.a. to learn more or an espresso boutique near you. Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with. You've got to be fucking kidding me, Rob. It's done it again. What's it done? Connected to your headphones. Josh, Josh. Please. No, no, me. Let me say fucking please. Please get some

headphones, you just plug into the mic. This is mental. It's every week, Josh. I know, I'm doing it. What are you doing today? Um, hello? No, don't do that to me. Hello? Please, I can't hear us now. Okay. I've got you. I've got you. Oh, have you? Yeah. Good. What are you doing today, Josh? Buying headphones? I've soundproofed a fucking room within a week. Bob, you've hung up an Arsenal shirt. Truly. It was quite fun. I actually quite enjoyed it. Most of the world is most expensive soundproofing. Don't fucking give me a bloody Brian Eno. Gail is recording to you. It can't be the show, Josh. It is the show?

No, it's not. It's not interesting. Rob, that's not stopped us before. I know, but it might stop us now. If you're listening for the first time because of David Cross, they're all like this. They're all like this. But if you, this, this, this, this, this, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, this. Not this bad, but if you this is the new rule if you haven't got wired headphones I will refuse to record. Okay I'm gonna go and strike like the

trains. I'm gonna ring up and do you know what happened you'll log on with your little clippie Bluetooth headphones. I've bought them I've bought them. You know he'll be a good chat actually. We should get an old inchy on. We'll keep going so, Mick, what's it like having kids and he was just like bringing it back to driverless trains? Yeah, we know you've got a thing you need to talk about. You're here to plug the old strikes.

But, yeah. And what we're supposed to be talking about is, we've to, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, like, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to and actor. You've got a dog. You've got a dog you don't like and then consequently you've just revealed that you're getting another dog. No, I've got a dog I do like actually and since we've moved, me and a dog, Fred, I've been getting on a lot better because the house was chaos before. We've got a bit more space now for the dog to run around in. And so so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. tho tho tho the the tho the the the the tho tho tho their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. the. the. the. thean. thean. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. And then the. in and so these are the two reasons to get another dog one when we go out he won't be lonely he's got a little mate two there's loads of space so they do get lonely loads of space so he can run around in the gardens three what I find my stressful is when you walk in a dog you have to talk to other people right and there's a lot of other dogs that come over you have to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to to the the to the the to the the to the the to the the to the the to the the the the to to the the the the to to to to the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. the the the the the the the the the the they. I I I I to to to to to to to. I to. I to. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. other dogs that come over, you have to talk to him, blah, blah, blah. However, the problem with a whip it is they need to run, they need to run, and play to get the energy out. Because they're sprinters, not, you can't just walk them

along like a little pug or something and get them puffed out car, speak to zero people and enjoy my life and ultimately Lou wanted another one, happy wife, happy life. So that's the bottom they're off. Do you know what? I can do all them bullshit reasons. The last minute has been, I was not buying it, not buying it. Bottom line is if Lou and the girls are happy, all the other stuff I said before is stuff she's told me to sort of try and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their to their to their their their to their to to to their. And to to to to to to to to to to to their. And. to to to to to told. told. told. told. to to to their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. And, their. And, their.... And, their... And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their, their, their. And, their, their, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, their. And, their. And, the happy. All the other stuff I said before is stuff she's told me to sort of try and convince me, but ultimately she gets away, we've got two dogs and that buck stops there. And there's another whip it? Yes. Yeah. Called. Well, the girls want to call him Simon. Well, the girls want to call Simon. Bloody hell this. It's got a name. We don't have a dog called Simon. So we quite like that. Then they suggested Georgie Paul G pudding and pie. So we're gonna have a dog called George essentially. Yeah. They're gonna call it Georgi Paul G. So Fred and George. Incoming will keep

the updated on how that's going so yeah. Oh the other thing, England football team gig. Oh my way. Right. Yeah. Not if it went well. It was a mixed bag. So it was it was a good. Okay. It was a good. It was a good. I. I. It was a good. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It was a the. It was a the the they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they're. It's. they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're gig. Do you want to show you out? Right. Yeah, well, it was a mixed bag. So it was up at their training. They try and do stuff like Robbie Williams has been there before Ed Sheer and then sing a couple of songs. They went up and did stand up. But there was in the like team meeting room and it was. Garrow Southgate is such a lovely guy. So we basically went up and did a little gig from them.

Got kids? He has got kids. Then we all had dinner after. But they've been doing high performance. They'd had the guy Damien from the high performance podcast there during the day. Anyway, it's really lovely guy he was, but they'd had a day ofthey take things really like, yeah, literally. So Southgate teed me up and introduced me as like right we've been talking about elite performance and getting the mentality right so now we've got a talk to talk from someone who's an absolute elite athlete and he knows exactly what he's good. Yeah, so that's sort of work.

Yeah, so that's sort of what he knows what he's fucking yeah. Yeah, exactly and he set me up sort. but I think they were a bit confused and I don't think if they knew if I was going to come out and do comedy or talk about how I managed to like do comedy comedy. Right, yeah, yeah. So when you look the audience in the eyes, the three things I learned from comedy that you could take into penalty taking are this. Yeah, or like when you're up from me and because it wasn't like they weren't like after a game because they were leading up to a game so it's really like focus focus. You've got to worry about what Malta's fallbacks. That's what I'm telling you. Yeah, that's what they've been doing in that room like leading up to it know, you've got to give it a go. But when you get in it, like, you just walk out and it's like all the England team in front of it,

it's very, I'm just like, and because they're not in kid, I mean, they're like, um, like, the track suits, it's quite distraught. You're like, oh, good jokes away but there was no atmosphere in the room like for comedy so anything that worked smashed it and it got massive laughs anything that didn't work so it went from real... Did you write a bespoke set? Well I had to really I couldn't just start doing jokes about Phillips Goal to me. I went out and then the thing I had to say the beginning was a I know you're the the the the the the thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin. thin. I thin. I thin. I thin' thin' thin' the. I th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got the. I got th. I got thin' thin' thin' thi. I've got thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin the an the an the an to the an theeeeat theeeeat theeeeat theeeat the an the an the an the and. I'm the an thethe thing I said at the beginning was, I know you're talking about elite mindset and high performance, but let's just not escape from the fact that Malta a fucking shit. Yeah, that's good work.

And then I basically, but I did, congratulations to Man City. This were the jokes I had, right? And you could tell me if you think it went well or not. Basically, Jack Greenish Kyle Walker, Phil Foden hadn't arrived. John Stones and Calvin Phillips had got there after the celebrating the treble and Jude Bellanum was in Madrid, okay, so that's the setup. Anyway, I said, I want to congratulate, I mean, first foremost, is Jack Greenish alive? Has anyone heard from him? Yeah, to that I had no response. Okay. And at these guys. And at what point did you feel at that? I? I? I? First? First? First? First? the the the th. th. th. th. First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First, th. First, th. First, th. First? First? First, th. First, first? First, first? First, first? First, first? First, first? First, first? First, first? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? First? the the the the th. First? th. First? th. First? th. First? th. First? th. First? th. First? th. First? th. First? th. First? th. th. th. the th. First? the th. First? th. First? th. First, th. First, th. First, th. First, th. First of th. th. First of th. First of th. First of th. First, th. First the. First, the. First, the. First, the. First, the you feel at that? What did you?

I felt my soul leave my body. Oh God. And then I said, oh well, I wanted to congratulate him and want to historic treble, vodka, gin and whiskey all in the same party. Yeah, that works. No, it didn't. What? That didn't get much.

Come on. Cheer up, Trent, that fucking works, mate. Come on. Then I said, congratulations. Then I was like, oh, this is hard, didn't it? And then I said, oh, tough gig. Let's see how this goes like that. And so we acknowledged it and they got a bit of laugh.

So that worked. thank you're not there though which is difficult in trying to do a joke about I just want to say thanks from from for joining Rio Madrid from all the Arsenal fans and the rest of the Premier League we're very thankful that you've gone there especially Calvin Phillips didn't get a laugh didn't get a laugh then I said this got a lot of fuck I then I said this Rice, you won, you won something this week, didn't you? I'm not sure, you didn't mention it on social media. It's quite based stuff. And when you went, yeah, I did milk it a bit anyway, didn't I? I like that, because he's a nice bloke Declan rice. I said, milk it, is that what it was, the fucking milk cup? That got a big laugh. That's good. And then I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that's, that's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It, it, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, nice. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It. It, it. It, it. It's. It's. It's, it, it, it. It's that's quite. It's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite that's quite, it's quite, it's quite, it's quite, it's quite that's quite that to ten minutes hammering West Ham and Declaration because it was only thing that was working properly. And then I said, I said, what was it called, the Europa Lee conference auto glass, windscreen, caribow fucking cup was it? And then they're

all laughing. And no one knows what it's called. And then I said, but I'd tell you what, you'd take it at Tottenham, wry, so I's a a a great. And I's a great. And I's. And I's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they. And I's. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. thi. thi. they. thi, I's thi. thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd th. th. th. th. thi, I's, I'd thi, I'd they, I'd they. they. they. Yeah, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. Yeah, I's. Yeah, I's. Yeah, I's. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. thi. the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. theaa'. thea'er. th. thea. the. the.ell you what you take it at Totten wouldn't you Harry so every game. Oh yeah nice so basically you you went really hard on all our England heroes to win them over yeah basically it's like a corporate in that sense you just want to have a go at the boss so did you remember all this or have you got a straight on a bit of paper I looked at it was the awful but it was the only way I could do it was the only only only I I I I was a the only only only only I was a the only I was a the only I was a the only I was a the only I was a the only I was a the only I was a the only I was a the only I was a the only I was a the the the the the the the the th I was I was I was I was a the the th I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was th I was th I was th I was th I was th I was a th I was a th I was a th I was a th I was a th I was a th I was a th I was a the only th I was a the only the only th. the only the only the only the only the only the only th. the only th. the only the only the only the only tho. the I wasball to try and make it look like I was the coat like, because he was going to set me up, I was like, well, the coach had like a clipball, I felt so much like David Brent, you know, in the office when David went to go to go to, it was off. Honestly, there were some bits of it. Yeah, I was just like, thi.

comedy performances, but I think under the circumstances, I carved out a decent gig. And I left of my head. Exactly, great experience. And I think, I think you can get so wrapped up in your ego about, because I was contemplating, pulling out because I was like, I couldn't bear for it to not go well in front of the England team and all that, but that's just your ego of going, I'm like, well, it's going to be what it's going to be. I'm going up there. I know I can do it. I know I can do jokes. It might go well, it might not, but either way it's happened and just that that happen and exist and not beat yourself up either way. So yeah, I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I did. I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I did it for the things. I said when they went, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that it's, I that it's, I that, I that, I that, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, and it's, I'll, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, they're allowed to be here, please? Because I think it might be easier. But yeah, they're a lovely bunch and it's like, do you know what, that's what? Garri Selfgate's creates such a nice atmosphere there and all the players are so polite,

you know, kind, like, chatty and friendly. There's no ego and arrogance. And you look at it, because the top players the children, thenders, their, their, their, their, thenders, thenders, thenders, thenders, thenders, thenders, thenders, thenders, the, the, their, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, though, though, though, though, is, is, thou, is, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the top players there, that's sort of the Jordan Henderson's and Kane, the senior players, all such unbelievable professionals and they're so, like Kane and Henderson are unbelievable players and unbelievable people. So I think that sort of filters down through the team, do you know what I mean? Anyway, so it's great experience but yeah that was my time with the England, England let's remember that when we go out in the group st group st st st stage the group st st st st st. the group st We're an international podcast. Sure, yeah, global. If anything. Yeah, global. Yeah, exactly. Worldwide. This is David Cross from New York. David Cross, hello. Hello. Hello. J. How are you? Good. And Rob. Right. Right.

Straight away. Let me say this. I'm assuming because of your outfit and your hair that this is just audio. Shockingly, David, not always. Not after you've said that. I'll tell you what happened is I've had a very intense, I had to, I'd just a speed awareness course. Do you have speed awareness courts in America? No. Right. So, like, I, I, I'd just, I'd just, I'd. I'd intense, I had to do a speed awareness course. Do you have speed awareness courses in America? No. So like I did 24 in a 20 and so you have to, you can either take three points on your license or go and do it, a zoom.

Yes, yes, yes, we did. And then it made me late to pick up my son, so I drove to get him and then I had to come back and then talk to you. And they're just perpetuating the same problem. You, now you've got to speed up. Now you've got to go faster than you normally would. And it's a, it's a scam, Josh, it's a fucking s- thinne. How they get you. normally we would like hide the promo in the middle. We talk about parenting

then we do a bit of promo then we go back to parenting but your tour is called the worst daddy in the world is that correct? That's right. That is up our street. I don't know whether it's purely for promo opportunity but you've absolutely nailed us. How did you come about the title? My daughter gave it to me. Potentially, but I would say a third of my material is based around, you know, either kids or being a dad or any or or I use that as a segue and other stuff and she was just, you know, crying about, you know, some whatever thing. I wouldn't give her a third ice cream or some shit like that. And she said I was the Daddy in the world and I was like, potentially, th, potentially, th, th, th, th, th, th, potentially, th, th, th, potentially, th, potentially, th, th, potentially, th, potentially, th, potentially, potentially, th, th, potentially, potentially, th, potentially, th, potentially, th, th, potentially, th, potentially, potentially, th, potentially, that, potentially, potentially, th, potentially, potentially, potentially, th, potentially, potentially, potentially, th, potentially, potentially, th, potentially, th, potentially, th, potentially, th, th, potentially, th, th, th, th, th, potentially, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, the that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, third ice cream or some shit like that and she said I was the daddy in the world and I was like oh there's my title. How old is your daughter? She's still

be six and a half you know like six weeks or so. Right so you've just got the one haven't you that's just the one child yeah because I've got a seven year old your daughter was five is she? Yeah so we are the so we the the the th so we th so we th so we th so we the th so we are th so we are th so we are th so we are th so we are th so we are th so we are th. th. th. So we are th. So we are th. So we are th. So we are th. So we are th. So we are th. So we are th. So th. So th. So th. So th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm just just just just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. the one, haven't you? That's just the one child. Yeah, because I've got a seven-year-old, Josh, your daughter's five, is she? So we are knee-deep in that sort of very baby-e, but also think they're 35. She started to learn, not that she knows the term, but she knows the concept of gaslighting where we had, yesterday, we were at the playground and she's in this big monkey bar kick. Like she loves going across the monkey bars. We'll go to certain, there's tons of parks where I live in Brooklyn, New York, and there's playgrounds everywhere.

And now we've got to go to the one specifically with the monkey bars that she likes. And we, she was going across and there were other kids waiting their turn. And I was just sitting on the the the the the the their the their their their their the the were other kids waiting their turn and I was just sitting on the bench. I was exhausted. I was just like, Marlowe, you got to let her buddy have their turn. That's not cool. And then she would stop and then other kids, you know, and then she would kind of butt in and go again. And then she went, and there were clearly kids waiting. She went and then she turned around without even stepping on the to the the to the to the to the to the bench on on on on on to the to the bench on to the bench. And to the bench. And to the bench. And to to the bench. And to the bench. And to to to be to be to be the bench to be to be the bench and started to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the bench. But, the bench. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the their. I the their. I. I. And, the, their. And, their, their, their, their, their, their, te. te. te. te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, te. And, their, their, kids waiting. She went and then she turned around without even stepping on the platform. I just turned around, started going back, and I was like, hey, Marlowe, no, no, no, no. And then she started going back again. And I was like, that's it, stop.

I got angry. She dropped down. I was like, you're going to sit on this bench for five minutes. OK and I and I and I, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, and I, okay, okay, and I, okay, and I, okay, and I, and I, and I was like, five minutes. You, that's not cool. Let's not considerate. Blah, blah, blah. And she started crying. And then she tried to, she knew she was wrong. And she tried to explain that three,

when you go back and forth and back again, that's one turn. And one turn. And she's like, you know that, you know that's one turn. I'm like, no, you said it. No, I'd never say. Five minutes is a long time as well to tell. That's bold. I'm impressed with that that confidence. Well, it wasn't a real five minutes. It was five minutes because I want that,

because you're right. It does sound long. And it will, the concept of it is part of the punishment and then you know she was cried for maybe three minutes and then somehow it's always about distraction it's always about getting them to focus on some other thing and that she stopped crying and then you know pretty soon she was telling me this and it was like all right you can go it was probably like three minutes, but as long as they can think it's five minutes. My daughter's got a Fitbit watch thing that tells her the time and their step.

So she will do a timer now. So if I say it's two minutes, she'll do the times and it sort of fucks you you you you you you you you you you up to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to the to bench before the minutes, I've got no authority. Oh, I massaged the times on the tooth brushing. I'll say two minutes, which we were meant to. No one can't brush their teeth for two minutes. I can't. It's so long. No.

I don't. And she, you know what, she's still got only two regular teeth and the rest of her baby teeth and this whole period is just about getting her used to it. So I'm not going to be a hard ass and say you have to do two minutes. She's done a good 40 seconds, I'm happy. To be honest, we could go, you don't need to brush your teeth till the five, because these, it's like, if you knew you, if you you you you you to be, if you to be, if you to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be........ to be, to be, to be, to be, to me. to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, toe. toe. to me, toe. toe. to me. toe. to me, to me, to me, to need to brush your teeth till you five because these it's like if you if you knew you were selling your car and you'd already sold it you're not taking it to the valet do you know I mean if you've already if you sold your house you're not adding an extension like they're at they're

going like it's over for those you might as well just have you the fun with the baby ones as much sugar as you want and then then and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the five. Yeah, this is all warming getting into that stuff. Although I'm phenomenally lucky, the more I talk to other parents in that my kid eats really well, she doesn't have a sweet tooth and she sleeps really well too. So we got really lucky. When I talked to other parents like, you know, my kid won't eat vegetables and only eats candy and like that. Her favorite food is broccoli. Oh, my God. What else does she? All my kids eat is plain pasta.

You said that Rob, like, like you were going to talk to me dirty. What kind of stuff do you get like? How she approved? She's forbidden food. No, we, she's, we got super lucky and, but she likes, I mean, even from, like when she just started eating, broccoli, zucchini, sweet potato, she eats well, you know, she doesn't have a whole lot of crap. I mean, the one, outside of like sweets and, you know, if she's been good, she gets ice cream on Friday and all that stuff. One ice cream a week, my kids, ice cream in takes out of control. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, the the th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. th. th. But, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. But, th. But, uh, uh, uh, th. But, uh, uh, uh, uh, but, uh, but, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. But, uh, uh, th. But, th. But, uh, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, thi. But, thi. But, thi. And, thi. And, the. And, cream on Friday and all that stuff. One ice cream a week my kids ice cream in takes out of control. Well there's here's a thing that's ice cream but she will get snacks and kind of like yogurt cupboard pretzels and and things like that but and she'll get icies we I don't know you don't really have that

is that like an ice pole? No, it's like the Italian ice, you know, the little guys on the pushcards. We have them in New York all over, it just scoop up, but it's like, it's not as much sweet and dairy, it's more fruit juice. Like a sorbet. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's so funny. Americans at icies. sound fun, another in English, sorbet, that unnecessary long and posh word for fruit ice. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber1 for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.

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What does Possible for your business. It's having the spend to power to power to power to power to power to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. the the to to be a tooomomomomom. tooomom. tooom. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoomeuu. thoome. thioome. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom... tooom spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and Conditions Apply. Visit A.mx. What's it like in New York? Like does she like going into the center of New York and riding the subway and all that kind of. She loves the subway. I don't think she has a real under sees a distinction between Manhattan and Brooklyn and Brooklyn's

pretty, you know, it's fairly dense. We have a lot more trees here and playgrounds and stuff like that in parks but I mean it's similar to London that way you know but she loves the subway loves it. Would you be bringing her on tour? No. Oh, I mean, I did when she was whatever the last tour was but she was about two and a half three years old and she was we had a tour bus and we were going across America and Canada and we just had a pack and play took a drill and put it into the back room with the tour bus and it was me and my and it was me and

my wife who was also had a book coming out so she would do bookstores while in the in whatever city I was going to and we had a nanny and we just we were out on the road for almost four months. Blimey was that fun that sounds like hell., it was great. It was... Well, I mean, especially, because of the way I'm doing the tour this time, same amount of dates, but it's spread out over eight months. But, you know, because she's in school now, and I go out for three, four days, and I come home for three or four days. I'm home right now. I'll be back out on Friday, but so there's no tour bus. So I miss that.

That is the most convenient, wonderful, wonderful thing in the world where you finish, you finish the gig and then you're like, hey, you know, because of the routing and the timing, we can't get into the next hotel until check-in's at three-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in's-in or whatever. So you go, you finish the show and then you get to go out drinking, right, whatever town you're in, and then you just get on a bus and chill out for a little bit, go to sleep, wake up, and you're in the next town. I can't believe it. That must be so good. Oh, it's amazing. I can't believe that. I don't have that now, so it's all driving and flying and places that where you have to like, oh, I have to get to the airport by

7.30 because I got a flight that, there's no direct flight, so I have to fly to Charlotte in North Carolina, which is backwards to get to Minneapolis from Detroit, you know, it's just all that kind of shit, so that sucks. The th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's that's that's that's that's that's thathea's thathea. thathea' thathea' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. I's, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to bea. I. I's th. I's th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thath. thathea. that, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thr. thr. thr. theea. theateateateate. I'm, thr. I'ma. I'ma. I'm kind of shit. So that sucks, but, you know. The UK's not really big enough for a tour bus, though. Everywhere's close enough. No, it would be the biggest waste of money in the world. No, no, you wouldn't need a, you would, a comfortable, environmentally sound, electric vehicle that's not a Tesla. Tom Allen, the comedian got a bus, a bus like you're talking about from like Exeter up to London

because he had to do, he was hosting the breakfast radio show in centre of town. Oh my word. So you don't have to get all the way home and then get back in that anyway, but it just he couldn't, because it was all windy roads and he couldn't, because it was all windy roads like Deventhree hours getting thrown about and then he got to central London at about three a.m. and he just was laying there awake hearing all the people around what they just parked up and he just got to stay in his bus? they were parked outside London British waiting. I've been to Devon that's no place for a tour bus. Exactly, he had a terrible type. Josh, do you want to go through the tour dates quickly in the UK?

Yes. I can go through the tour dates very quickly. Steve Wright, there's a, there's a, the DJ, well we used to, we call it Steve Wright, David, there's a DJ in the American ones as well that are on it. State College PA, where's P.A? I think that's too long Josh, would it? All the American ones, it's an eight-month tour. Pittsburgh, PA, Philadelphia. Pennsylvania. Rich, Pennsylvania. This is going to be here. Richmond, Virginia. Yeah. Yeah. New YorkT, Vermont, Very good. Huntington, New York, Yeah, Belfast, United Kingdom.

That's September the 12th, September the 13th, Dublin, September the 14th, Glasgow, September the 15th, Union Chapel, London, September the 17th, New Century Manchester. Then back to America for Northampton, Massachusetts. Yeah. M-T.pton, Massachusetts. Yeah. Bosman, MT. Montana, Montana.

Very good. Yes. Missoula, Montana, Spokane, Wyoming. Spokane. Spokane. Spokane. Waugh. Washington.

There you go. There you go. Boise. Boise. This is embarrassing. St. Louis Ombi. This is Rispo, California, Santa Cruz, California, Santa Fe, New Mexico and Tucson, Arizona from the Beatles song Get Back so I know that one at least. All right, well, thank you so much Josh. We'll leave your, we'll leavetape with with the Patsy up front and we'll get back to you. Thank you so much. Is there any routines in your tour that you worry about your daughter seeing one day when it's on you know presumably it'll be filmed at

some point will it and then you're worried that she'll see it? I mean yes and no I think ultimately I'm not worried.. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. that th. that that that that th. that that that that that that thi. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the th. the the thee the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th? I mean, yes and no. I think ultimately I'm not worried, but I would, if she saw this current set before she understood that I was clearly joking, that would be not a good thing, but... Can you give us a flavor of it about ruining the bit? Yeah, like, I have a whole bit that is, that is... that is... not a good thing, but... Can you give us a flavor of it about ruining the bit? Um, yeah, like, um, I have a whole bit that's, that is about how I love her very mind. And I preface it with all these other, all these other jokes, but I love her, you know,

in a way that I didn't think I was capable of loving another thing, but ultimately I get to the idea which is I love her but I resent her. I really deeply resent her because she's rich. But she's a rich kid and I grew up poor and I don't like rich people and I'm rich. And then I do this thing about where I talk to her about all the things that she has that she has no concept about that makes you rich. I feel that though towards my own child. I worry about, I, I, I, I, I, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I constantly, I th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thii thi thi thi thi thi, thi, th I feel that though towards my own child I worry about I constantly worry about not constantly I regularly I do constantly worry about her being I'm not appreciating the things that I give that I worry

about that quite a lot. Oh yeah yeah she doesn't get that we're going on good holidays she doesn't understand that. Yeah there's there's a thing we will get when we'll get when we travel to quite a lot. Oh yeah, yeah. She doesn't get that we're going on good holidays. She doesn't understand that. Yeah, there's a thing we will get when we travel and we've had, we're going on our second really big fancy vacation with two other families. We all split this house in St. Martin, you know, which is... Oh wow, yeah. You know, it's amazing, it's beautiful house on the water. We're going to be there for seven days. And like I have this thing where, and we're, and we're in, what do you call it, main comfort plus, you know, where you get the extra lake room and the, in the, in the plane, yeah, premium economy or whatever. Yeah, and and and I'll pay for that I'm happy to do it it's you know for a long flight but she has no concept

and she's only got little legs as well she doesn't even need the leg she doesn't even need it but like in when I'm flying when I'm doing these gigs I fly coach you know because I'd rather spend my money on those things but she just on those things. But she just knows those things. She doesn't see it as a special occasion thing. She's just, so she's growing up with like, oh yeah, well this is what we do. You know, with no concept of like, no, I'm, I'm busting my ass out of the road and

I'm flying coach and I'm getting up at 630 in the morning so that we can afford this thing that you're just going like I didn't want the crunchy cheetos I wanted the puppy cheetos. Like so that that's the rich kid mentality I'm worried about. What can you do about that though? I don't know what he just wants to scream at him you'll have whatever fucking p-chitos I'll give you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th th. th. that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi thi that's thi don't know. Part of me just wants to scream at him, you'll have whatever fucking puffy Cheetos I'll give you a bit of can't. That's not good. You know what you can do though is yell at other people's kids when that comes up and just turn, turn and look and they are planning to go, hey kid, listen, you'll take whatever fucking chitos they give you okay. th, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, th, th, that, th, they I I they I'm that, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's the that's the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, thin, thin, that, that, that, that, that's that, that, that's that's that, that, that's that's that's that, that's that, that's that, that, fucking Cheetos they give you, okay? And you turn back to your daughter and wink.

Is she interested in what you do? Has she got any interest in these things, even at six and a half? Is she excited? No, not really. She knows that. She knows that I do jokes, or my daddy's funny. What does your dad do for a job? He's funny, tells jokes or whatever. but just recently, and I mean in the last month, things have shifted a bit because what I knew was going to be inevitable. I was hoping it would not happen for as long as it could, but she saw me on TV and she saw one of the chipmunk movies. And so now she has a different sort of additional information that she

has to process you know? It's quite a weird way into your career that isn't it? I wouldn't say it's as a gateway into David Cross. Yeah but I'd like David Cross arrested development I wouldn't go straight in with Chipmunk. Well when you're six and a half maybe it's... What did you, excuse me I've not seen the chipmunk movie. What's your role in the chipmunk movie? I'm in the first three and I play the same character. I play the guy who is a sleazy, exploits the chipmunks and kidnaps them and, you know,

the baggy and the kid's film. Does that come up at the school gates or anything like to other kids when you're in the park go oh my god that sleazy guy from the chipmunks movies here? No it hasn't and I think probably in the next two years that'll be happening a little bit more but it really hasn't it's I don't know maybe it's just because it's New York and just even the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. th. the school. the school. the school. the school. the school. the school. the school. th. the school. th. th. th. the school. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. thea.coo. thea. the. It's more, but it really hasn't. It's, I don't know, maybe it's just because it's New York and just even from, maybe they're just, it's ingrained at an early age, but people in New York do not give a shit, you know, they just, when I travel and people like, oh my god, oh my god, it's a chipmunk guy, you know, and if you're in New York, and people, and you're, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, the next. It's just, the next. It's just, the next. It's just, the the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the chipmunk guy, you know. And if you're in New York and people recognize you're like,

oh yeah, it's a chipmunk guy. And you know what? So what did your daughter make of the chipmunks and you being in it? She said it was funny and that I was funny. And then it wasn't about me at all, was about like my, my favorite chip month was Simon because he's also he's the younger and she just started talk to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I the the to. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the c. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. It's. It's. It, because he's also he's the younger, and she just started talking about the chipmunks, which was very encouraging, like she didn't get hung up on that other stuff. Like, oh, wait, you're my dad and you're like, like that was nothing.

You didn't have to explain to her, that's not me, I'm playing a role. They're not real chipmunks. No, oh, I lied to her. I, I their tho her I tho her I tho her I tho tho tho, I tho, I thu tho, I tho, I thi thi thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the th. And, the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiii. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thunks. They're not real chipmunks. No, oh I lied to her. I told her they were real chipmunks. And I was the fake. And so what's your kind of how does it work with your wife like in terms of um, yeah, it feels like from talking to your very, you're involved dad in the sense that you, we speak to some people, I get the impression that they're not that fuss about being a parent, but they're just promoting their thing. But I get the- You've seen their kid that week. They said, yeah, I think one's called Stephen.

But I get the impression with you love parenthood. I love it. I do. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her her her know, without getting into the, you know, sob story of it, I had a very shitty dad in multiple ways. And I think it's just part of, like, I don't know, rewriting the balance of universe. But I would never treat a kid the way he treated us or do that. Is that in your mind a lot when you're parenting? I want to make this, kind of rebalance this and get this right.

Not the rebalancing part so much is just I will do it right. I will not make a kid go through what me and my sisters had to go through. And, which is, you you know it's still like you know we're adults and I mean more than adults I'm old and it's still of like a fresh scar that I had. Do you mind if I asked what he did you don't have to say or I mean it wasn't it wasn't physical abuse it was just he was a pathological liar he was a pathological liar he was he was he just clearly didn't, he just wanted the easy part of being a father and none of the hard part and he wasn't around a lot.

And we found out later all these other things like he was fucking around constantly with everybody. And we moved every, every year. I was in a different school, a different city or different state, every single year. Up until I was, the first time I went to the same school, was the first time I was in the same school. And you know, we barely saw him and he also stole my bar mens to money. No, Jesus. It's like if you wrote that in a sitcom or film you guys submit too much this guy. That's one thing too much to do.

He was a real piece of work. I think that's really life affirming that you've, that's not something that's actively damaged your parenting but if anything it's actively kind of made your parenting more. I think it's I think it's made it a it's a good thing and yeah so when you've called your tour the worst daddy in the world if it's not it feels like you know that you're not even in the toy definitely not the worst daddy in the world yourself even in your own gene pool. To new friends. I don't find them that pleasant to be around.

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We've like, your relationship with your dad and stuff like that. When you're like a grown up with our kids, you sort of to put that when you was like a grown up without kids you sort of can put that to the back your mind a little bit because you've not got this little kid in front of you then when your daughter come along did did old things get sort of brought up where like moments where you know you'll be looking at your daughter's fifth birthday and you'd remember what you were having at your fifth birthday would would it sort of open up that sort of thought tho happened to you? The closest thing I had to that was a terrible sense of guilt I felt, which believe me I got over. If I had another kid I'm not going to be, this is going to sound terrible when I say not as present, I mean I was there for everything and if I

had another kid, yeah, fuck him him. He'll figure it up. Oh, don't worry. We're all like that with the second kid. That's definitely the way with the second kid. Do you think he was a little bit too keen to be at every single thing then with your first? Because your dad wasn't. Yeah, I mean, I felt like, well, I had a whole bit about it about burdening her. Like I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I had, I had, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, is definitely, that is definitely, that is definitely, that is definitely, that is definitely, that is definitely, that is definitely, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, is definitely, that, that, that, is definitely, that, is definitely, is definitely, that, is definitely, is definitely, is definitely, is definitely, is definitely, I that, is definitely, I that's, I that's, that's, that's, is definitely, that's, that's definitely, that's definitely, I that's, I had a that's, I that's, I that's, I love her and she's gonna appreciate it, but I am going to be a burden. My love for her is going to be burdensome. Like, dad, enough, you know, like, like, yeah, you're right, honey, you're right, okay. Yeah.

I'll just, I'll sit over here at this table. No, I'm not that. Just leave. Yeah, no, you can't be outside either. That doesn't work. How was, you said they were good, she was good at eating, she was good at sleeping. Those early days would say nappy changing and all that kind of stuff.

If you were fully involved, how was that for you? Do you feel like, because I remember with that thing. I actually found it, I was like, I was like, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, I was like, I was like, I wasthing, I actually was like terrified of all that stuff, but I actually found it. I was like, I can deal with this actually better than I thought. Yeah, I had the same thing. I didn't know what I was doing and especially the first month is just, you know, and my wife had a C-section, so she was laid up for a while. So I had to, you know, when she's like an infant, the one, I think, lasting negative results of the thing that happened was I'm an incredibly light sleeper now where I was not, I wasn't a heavy sleeper, but I'm, I will wake up like that. I mean, if I hear anything, I wake up,

and I think it's from, you you know the first couple months of like sleeping next to the crib and having to get up and feed her and if there were any you know kind of cries or anything like I really think it has it goes back to that. I had a whole bit that I never did about taking the baby monitor and extending it with different cameras all the way to Hartley's to my pub. I have a guy at the bodega, you know, Jerry Briega. And do you try and get her out to the sort of like, when you're at the weekend, obviously, it's like a busy big city. Where do you sort of go for like little breaks or I know you're going to St. Martin but

do you go into the sort of countryside or whatever with her or is she going like a city kid? I have a I've had a very small house on five and a half acres in the woods that abuts a reservoir so nobody will ever ever be through there so it's very quiet. I've had had you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi I've thi I know I know I know I know I know th to to to thin I know to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go I know to go I know to go I know to go I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin I know thin. I know thin. I know thin. I know thin. I know the the thin. I know the thin. I know thin. I know thin. I know thin. I to to to to thin. reservoir so nobody will ever ever be through there. So it's very quiet. I've had it before I met my wife. I mean I got it a long time ago. That's why there's such good serial killers in America. There's so much space to work? Yes. You can just buy five acres in a cabin and it's that's normal. You know what I mean? And it's about just how quickly can you dig, you know? Exactly. Swot the plates on the car, quick dig. Before you know, you got four on the go already.

I've got it down. I've got rubber tubing. I've got chloric acid. I've got it all down. And so yeah, we're, that's where we go. And it's like a two that's, that's, that's, we're, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that's, that's, that's, that, that, it's like a two hour and ten minute drive and it's a pretty nice drive to and and it's just as I said I've been there since before I even met my wife and know a bunch of people there and it's cheap and it's beautiful it's right along the Delaware River it's beautiful and do you

do you when you go away on tour do you feel a wrench going away on tour and stuff, do you feel a wrench going away on tour? Do you feel like a kind of... I did, I did, but it's such a part of the routine now that she, and she's kind of gotten past that stage that kids get where they won't let you leave, no, and they cling on to you. Yeah. So she's past that and, you know, she knows what I do, she knows I'm work. thi. And, th, th, th, th, you, you, th, you, th, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. th. thi, you thi, you, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, to, thi, to, thi, to, thi, thi, to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi that's work, you know, but the other, the flip side of that is I'm here. I work out of my, you know, I'm here in my basement where I write, I'm sitting you know, and she's upstairs, you know, and she goes to school down the street, public school. I take her, you know, took her, you know, to get her up her get her up get ready take her there we walk there I'm on between two awesome parks right we spent all almost all day yesterday at Prospect Park which is one of the best I mean it's just a great great great

park and and then they had the sprinklers turned out to playground we were there all day and you know Brooklyn's a really really kid friendly place place. Yeah. Josh do you want to do the final question? Yes David we always end with the same question which is there's one thing about your partner as a parent that just blows your mind and you can't believe it that you can't do yourself as a parent and the other part of the question is the one thing your partner does as a parent that really annoys you but you haven't said it, but were they to listen to this podcast, that would be your way of communicating it to her.

Oh, I see, sure. Blame the podcast. Okay. Well, I would say the thing that I admire that I would wish that I could do that I can as breastfeed. Um... Would you shave your chest if you were breastfeeding or keep it hairy? I would shave it, yeah. I think shave it, but you gotta keep on top of it. When I kiss my daughter with stubble, like a few days ago, she doesn't, she's not happy. There's two bearded men, how does that go down with your daughter? Does your daughter like your bearded mead?

When you said two bearded men I was thinking like what are you this is like a two my two dads situation? Yeah she doesn't mind it. It's pretty much what she knows. Yeah so. My girl says it's too scratchy. They would rather rather their mom kiss him and cuddle them. I'm too scratchy. My wife is, I mean, she's the cuddle master in the in that relationship. And, but just like, like so many parents and families, I'm the, I'm the, just naturally more rough housing and there's like punching, you know, she beat me up and she gets the top of my head and like,, and like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I the the the the their their their their their their their their their my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th. k, th. I th. I th. I to, I to, to, I too, too, I too, I too, I th. k, I th. I thi their their naturally more rough housing and there's like punching you know yeah yeah but she gets a top of my head and like bangs my head like a bongo

and you know um where she'll just about that that slap in your head like I mean you know it's some sometimes I go well that's enough that's too hard that's too hard too hard I don't mind it because I always felt like to for a to a bald man slap in the head's the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to get gets gets the the the the the the to get gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th gets tops to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe gets to. te gets to. the gets the gets the gets the the gets that's too hard. But I don't mind it. Because I always felt like to a bald man, slap it in the head is the worst thing you can do, isn't it? It feels like that's the lowest you can be to a man with no hair is to just slap the head like a bongo. That feels like it trigger me. It's, yeah, I'm happy to, I'm happy to the equivalent for me with someone to come to come to come to come to come to come to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to the the to their their to their, I their, I the sacrifice, it's okay. For me, it's the equivalent, I suffer with having like man boobs sometimes when I'm a bit heavier and the equivalent for me with someone to come up and just start wiggling them. Just like, you know, that's, that would be my equivalent of just a slap on the forehead. Well, it's one thing if it's strange, I suppose. Yeah, of course. It does depend on the head. It's a thirty, thapap. thap. thap. thap. thap. thap. that. that. that. that. that. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, that, the that, to to to to to to to to to to the equivalent, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come, to come, to come, to to to to come, to to come, to to come, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the equivalent, the equivalent, the equivalent, the equivalent, the equivalent, the equivalent, the equivalent, the equivalent, the equivalent. the equivalent. to their. their, their. their, their. their. to me, to me, the equivalent, to me, to me, to someone. to me, to to to to to to to to the situation. That's not an open invite to other people. No, please don't do

that if you see me. But if you see Davy Cross slapping on the head he actually loves it. Just a bit of fun. And the last part of that question, what is the one thing she does that frustrates you your partner with parenting? Oh, oh, easily it's and let me say, let me answer seriously the first part. She can intuit things way better and quicker than I can. Like she'll go, she just needs, you know, she just needs some food, she just needs that, she just needs that. She'll be, you know, 90% of the time she's right and I'm wrong, or she's, she's anticipated this thing and like that's what it is, and she's, and she's, and she's right and I'm wrong or she's she's anticipated this thing and like that's what it is and and she's right you know almost all the time like that's don't do don't do that she needs this like oh okay I got it but the

thing that I really and it's this is nothing that we haven't talked about either is she's very very quick to put her you know to the try to the the the you you you you you you you you you you you to to to to to to to the the to the the to to the the to the the the the to the to the to to to to to to the to to to to the the the the their to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the thi thi thi thi ti ti ti time try try try try thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the thi thi thi that we haven't talked about either, is she's very, very quick to put her, you know, give her an iPad or here's a cartoon or here's this and I don't do that like numerous times if one of us has gone, we'll drive up to the woods, to the house up there, and I never bring the iPad ever never have a fair fly respect and not a bit of me but respect it I don't give her the phone I don't give her the iPad I don't have a TV up there we have a DVD she can watch movie but I don't thrown that shit. Just just the chipmunks just the chipmunks on three DVDs, that's the options up there. Yeah, all she's got is my, anything I've done.

So, definitely watch Kung Fu Panda or increasingly poor decisions at Todd Margaret, but she does go for, but uh, Mega Mine, sure, you can watch Mega Mine all day, you know. I'm getting residuals, right? No, I don't, so that's a thing that I am really feel pretty strongly about and I don't, I don't just go, oh my god, I need, you know, here, here you go, here's the TV. So I don't do that. It sounds like you are an incredible dad, David. You're an an incredible comedian go and see him on tour in Let me try and do it off top of my head Belfast Dublin London Manchester and somewhere Glasgow that was it and also in America. Cheers Thanks to come on David enjoy your day. Cheers. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys.

Thank you guys. David Cross. Lovely lovely bloc. Lo. Absolutely. Thank you guys. Pleasure. David Cross. Lovely bloke. Would you like to live in New York? Yes, but not long-term the kids sound stressful. Yeah. Well, there we go. We'll be back on Tuesday and David Cross is on tour.

See you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.