Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP12: Jon Richardson (The Return)

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Jon Richardson. You can buy tickets for Jon's new tour HERE And you can listen to Jon's football podcast 'Down The Dog' on all podcast platforms. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York you.C.A. Your mom hates it when you leave six half-full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country, and it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just 999. So go ahead. You can afford, you can afford to hoard to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to work to work to work to to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work a to to to to to to to to to their a their a their a their a their a their a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their career their career their career their career.cureureure a their career their career their career their career their career their career their career their their their their side of the country. And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just $9.99. So go ahead. You can afford to hoard because IKEA is priced for student life.

Shop everything you need for back to school at IKEA today. Welcome to our home. It's maybe a bit long to spend with people we barely know. I guarantee you won't want to leave. Speak no evil is filled with teeth clenching, seek clawing suspense. Something's not right with him. I've always wanted to family like yours. James McEvo will scare you speechless. Oh! We're going to kill us.

We're just sad to see you go. Speak no evil, only in theaters now. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with Dorothy, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And Josh Widdickum. Whedicum. Oh, do you know what, Dorothy. Well done. Do you know what?

The nation was behind Dorothy then, because she absolutely nailed the best name. And then when it got to your one, she didn't bother. She really... She didn't give a shit. You know what? the the other day? What? Josh's friend.

Oh, they. Oh, the street you're Josh's friend oh my word not even you do the podcast first time for everything oh like Jonathan Wilkes and Robbie Williams absolutely horrible that was Josh's friend not even you do this showage I'm just a knock about him not even Romesh's friend no, that's the main gig. Do you want to some ASMR quickly? Oh yeah go on. I'm gonna light a candle. Do you want to hear the match? Let's see that. Oh that sounded quite sexy I thought. I'd say what I think people are gonna love that. Maybe we can have a little ASMR section. Send in your requests.

Yeah. I've just done candle as well, why not? So we're lighting candles for this one for John Richardson. It feels like he's died. Well, it has. Right. Some of the gigs I've seen him do. Am I alright? This is Dorothy, who's just turned two giving it a go at the intro to the podcast. Just turned two, I thought that's very good. Dorothy is our little lockdown surprise. We thought we were probably finished after having her sister and brother, but it wasn't to be. In late 2020 we discovered she would be joining the gang. She's a wonderful little bonus, but Rob and Josh... Stop calling her the bonus! No, what this is what? Just don't mention it, just say this is our two-year-old.

You both sensible to stick with two, she's added. Okay so brilliant, your daughter will hear this. We love, we love the pod from the beginning. Preferred when we had two kids, we had more time to listen. I had a fab night. Oh, where's this going? Oh no, not be shagging again? No, away seeing you at the two together. Oh no, no, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, the the thoom. thoom. thin, thin, thin, thin, their, their, thi. thi, thi, their, their, their, their, we'll, we'll, their, we'll their, we'll their, we'll their, we'll their, we'll their, we'll to to to to to to to to their, we'll their, we'll their, we'll their, we'll their, we'll, we'll their, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll their, we'll, we'll, we'll their, we'll their, we'll their, we'll their. We'll their. their. their. their their toda. today, we'll today, their today, their their today, their their their their really listening to all the episodes again now between new ones the lockdown episodes are mad to hear now life is a little bit more free. Keep doing what you're doing. Cat, Nathan, Felicity, Edward and in brackets. No, she hasn't done that to jump. That's nice. From having to do it. I'm glad she enjoys it. And people because I'm glad she enjoys it and people because I'm in the summer holidays seeing a lot of people out with kids and stuff coming up and saying that they like podcast and stuff which is you know

you know lovely to hear but like sometimes you do it because it mean you just catch up have a chat talk a load of shit and because we're not doing it in front of an audience you don't really know it's hard to know what if what we're doing is right or good or you just journey out and hope people listen. You know there might be a week where no one listens but then I was coming to office today and I drothed past a man. He looked about sort of 27, 28, so it looks like he was his first child because he still had quite nice clothes on? You you know, and he looked like very hand, he looked like sort of like advert dad, do you know what I mean? He was quite handsome, but he was trying to get what looked like, he looked like, he was going to get a way to like, not on holiday but a staycation or in their their tauask, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their too-in, their their tooes foreaseaseasek. And he was for their their own their of their for their for their for their for a their for a sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort, and he's for a little, and he's for their of, and he's for their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their.. their little little little, th th th th th th th th toean toeat toeat toeat toeat toeat toeat toe. th th their, he was like, he was like, he was like, and he looked, and he's like, and he's like, and he's liked their of a car. It almost like if a child was going to get divorced from their parents that's what their car would look like right and you couldn't

get it in and he slammed it down but he looked great had a lovely car nice little fancy car lovely out of it but his eyes look so sad and I was like that's what we're doing it for that guy. Poor bloke. poor bloke. He's face screened, fuck this. And on paper it's a lovely little weekend away with the kids in the in-laws. I'm a big fan of spotting people with kids when it's their first kid. Because we've been away over the summer and seeing people with their first child at the age of about a year in the swimming pool the levels of the clothing you know what was it um Nogella Lawson or like a

full like sort of Burkini like full Berkha cover up in the sea once do you ever seen that possibly anyway it's maybe how you're a She would burn like I would. Oh, I had a bad evening last night, Rob. Go on, come, what was it? Was it the one I saw you on Instagram, moaning about? Just before we bring on John Richardson, bring him on, he's not waiting. So there's a festival in the park that's about 100 yards from my door, Victoria Park. Is that the one where Stormsy was at and it rained and everyone went mad for it, Rob? I wasn't th. Well I don't know if I'm mad for it Rob I wasn't there so last but last Friday I wanted to go and see Stormsy. Yep. Yeah and then I wanted to go

and see the strokes this Friday. Yeah also it's literally about a three minute walk away. I know it's insane I can hear it from my house. The worst part of a festival is getting in and out. Yeah. And as I found it, you're already in. Yeah, exactly. But I was meant to be doing the two last legs of the series. And then the series got shortened by two episodes. So you had two surprise days off. So Stormsy and Strokes are in the park. Yeah, but I wasn't going to go and see Storms because because because because because because because because to go up to Bradford on the Saturday to film. Anyway, couldn't that filming was canceled. So basically both my feel I could have gone

to see Stormsy but I only found out the day before so I had to listen to it from my garden why didn't have to listen to it. I could only I could hear it as I was going to sleep. Not in the garden. It's not it's not going that badly. And the that it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not it's not going that it's not going that it's not going that it's not going that it's not going that it's not going that it's not going that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's not going that's not going that's not going that's not going that's not going that's not going that's not going that's not going that that's not th th th th that. thi. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that's that that that that that that that thatitter for the strokes. Oh no, you love the strokes as well. Yeah, and there was other bad ones out? Rose was out with three friends, just having dinner. Now, I saw your Instagrams about this, and you were looking after kids, you couldn't get babysit, but Rose was out in London with a free mate.

So ho? No. No. So what I'm saying is all of them live in East London. What I'm saying is was it a special occasion I've been in the diary for ages? No. So I'd probably been in the diary for ages it had probably been in the diary for ages. I feel like the strokes in the park is a once in a 10 year potentially generations type opportunity but yeah yeah right okay once every three years so it sort of forget that like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you, and she's got out for dinner.

Was, did you, so did you mention it to her and say, oh, was any chance that you could maybe reschedule that? Or have a little like, could they have a takeaway at your house and you went to the strokes? She's not gonna do the take take take take take take take take take take take take take dressed up. So what would you wear if you went for dinner with Lou and another couple? I mean, to be totally honest, I try and make that not happen as much as possible. But it's getting harder. Because I used to use workers in excuse but now I'm at home. And it's gonna take a real special couple to get me off that's over.

You know what I mean? Because it's like, yeah, yeah, it's great, having a chat. But is this chat better than Chelsea versus Luton when Chelsea was in a bad run of form the show. Chelsea won free no eventually. But no, for dinner out out I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's thi, it's thi, thi, thi, it's going, it's going, it's going, it's going, it's going, it's going, it's going, it's going, it's going, and it's going, and I's, and I's, and I's, th. And it's, and I's, and I's, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's going, thi's going thi's going th. It's going th. It's going thi's going thi's going thi. It's going, it's going, it's going, it's going, Chelsea won three no eventually, but it was a little tight game. But no, for dinner out, I'll probably wear jeans, t-shirt. Basically, I'll try and go as casually as I can without Lou, going, what's, what is that? I would go track suit if possible. So yeah, I just don't, I used to hate putting on, I, get in a shirt and trousers on, I, I, I, I, I, to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be I just don't I used to hate putting on I

get in a shirt and trousers on I used to hate having to be forced I don't like doing what I'm told essentially so when I had to wear a shirt and trousers to go into the office in the summer when it was like 35 degrees and they'd be like women in there and basically just like a summer dress like I'm gonna wear shorts I'm gonna wear a truck I I I I I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm tr you I'm I'm tr you I'm I'm tr I'm tr I'm tr I'm tr I'm tr I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try I'm try. I'm try. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the tr I tr I tr I tr I tr tr tr tr true I true I true I true I true I true I'm te tte. I ttry te. I te. I te. I try te. I try te. I te gonna wear a dress next week, unless we can wear shorts. And then let us wear shorts, because I was like, I'm happy, I cannot, my bollocks are gonna perish. It stinks down there.

I wish they'd go on your bluff. What they did in the end was though, in the end, they relented and let us wear tailored shorts and shoes so it had to be smart still but you didn't have to wear to wear a trouser and that I'm a really I wouldn't wear like a like a schoolboy shorts yeah no you could wear like a shirt like a shirt like a shirt and like shorts with shorts with shorts with shorts with shorts with shorts with shorts and shoes. Shirts and shorts and shoes.

Yeah, like a sort of eight year old, a wedding in Spain. Yeah, it's too hot Josh and you're getting on the tube and remember once, I was, this company I worked out as an event company. Probably we both thought of the exact same reference to your outfit at the exact same time. And anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they of the exact same reference of your outfit at the exact same time. And anyway, the company had done really well that, like, that whole summer, they'd smashed it as a best, like, six months I've had on record, and then it was like an intranet, and then one of the bloes in IT, this geyser, this geys, that is Polish geese are called, a shit about anything, he was hilarious. thi. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's that. He's that. He's that. He's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that. That's a. That's a. That's a. Yeah. Yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's. That's. That's. That's. smashed our targets the best six months we've had ever, blah, blah, blah. And he wrote, just imagine how much money we would have made if we all had shirts and trousers on. We've managed to do that in shorts.

Really cracked me up. We got to hold off for that. And then when that happened, I thought, fuck this. I'm going so low. He's great. This is John Richardson. Uh, see him at the Hank in the Empire. I probably won't be able to get a fucking babysitter. It's only a mile from my house. Right, it's John Richardson. Yeah, Lucy Beaumont's friend. John Richardson, hello, how are you?

I'm very well, how are you? One of our first ever guests, I think, yeah. Back when I don't think either of you had thinks, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be, to be, to be, to be, to to to, to be, to me, I to me, I to me me me, to me, to me me, to me to me to me to to to to to be to be to be to be to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me, I'm to me, I'm to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, th either of you had kids. There's a speculative podcast right there. You saw a gap in the market. And Paul might as well set it up while we're trying for kids. Because you did one of the early ones, so thank you for coming back on, but also thank you for doing it when we had no one listening. Yeah, that's all right. I haven't received a sort of royalty check from the boost that I gave you.

because because because because because because because because because because I their their their wife on twice since as well. Well that's why I've come back on. This is more of a sort of legal response than a podcast this for me. Are you like Aiman and Frankie? Do you remember Amen and Frankie? Oh fuck you right back? Oh fuck you right back? Oh, I don't remember. Amen had a song called Fuck You Fuck You and Slagging her off and then she released a song fuck you right back. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. You Right Back. Oh right, nice. I mean when you say Amen, our mind goes one place and it is not a singer. There's only one Amen in the world, right? Amen Holmes. That's Amen. If you say Amen Holmes. True, that is the main Amen.

And what do you think of Amen Holmes, John? I'd love for him to release a single, like fuck you back th a th a th a third time. Just to get back involved in it. To Ruth Langsford? Yeah, feel for Ruth. I did the wheel with him and he had a very bad back. And I thought it was not a good booking for someone with a bad back to be basically spun around in a waltzer for an hour and then asked questions. Told to dance. Come on, Aiman, can you dance bit. His back's fat. It's had bad hips as well, because he had to have his hips done. So now his back's gone, poor bloke. Did you enjoy dancing on the wheel, John? I can't imagine a man who would like anything less.

I was so shocked that you did the wheel, because it doesn't feel like your comfort zone. I know what I did the wheel. I did the wheel because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because the the the the the the wheel and she likes striply and I had to tell her, I'm never doing strictly, that's not happening. You will do strictly, I think at one point. Yeah, absolutely. I took the wheel to sugar the pill, but then I enjoyed dancing on the wheel so much.

Maybe strictly's back on. Oh, sure dance move on the wheel because I sort of found it difficult. Do you know when something's so awkward is so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward is so awkward so the the the the the the the the their their. It's so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so awkward so to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to that to to that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the thi, I, I thi, I the the thi, I thi, I the the the thea. the thea. thea. thea. thii. thi. thi. thi. I thi, I to to the other way with it. It's actually worse to just sort of bop your edge. Yeah, yeah. So I did a full-on sarcastic cowboy rope and I flung it to the side and I pulled it so it looked as if I was driving the wheel. Didn't make the edit. I was on the wheel holding it was getting really fastened it was getting really fast. Ah, yeah. Yeah, maybe it looked like you were genuinely terrified. Maybe your performance was so good. And maybe it looked like you were genuinely lassoeing Aiman Holmes and they were like to call out that.

He's got a bad back. You can't assume as well. I was next to a pussycat dollo and she was dancing so well. Yeah, I had the same with Frankie Bridge. She's a train dance. She was in fucking Sclub. She's in fucking Sclub. She's th. She's th. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu-a. thu-o-o-o-o-o-s. thu-s. thu-s. thu-s. thu-s. thu-s. He's th-s. He's th-s. He's th-s. He's th-s. He's th-s. He's thu-s. He's thu-s. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their th. He's th. He's th. He's th-s. He's that-s. He's got that-s. He's got that-s. He's got that-s. He's got that-s-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s. He's that-s. In fairness, she's strapped into a chair. How good can this dancing be? That's what I thought, John. It looks like a full routine, but just top half. Oh wow, all right. So it's just like, blah, blah, but she's like, it was hitting the mark and in time to the music. Or I'll just sort of like,

a bomber in it. each first for the camera shots before the wheel started so the whole room is stopped for you to do your dance basically except you and the wheel. You're strapped in being span and forced to dance before a quiz start. Yeah. Where did you both finish on the wheel? Middle. Is there a finish or a start? What? There's like the leaderboard at the end. I wasn't one of the three that could have done the final question. It's confused. the the f, the f, the final, the final, the final, the final, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a, is a the the the the the the the the the the the th. Is the the the th. Is thi, is, is, is the the the, is, is, is the, is the, is the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. the, is, is. the, is. the, is, is. the, is, is. the, is. the, is. the, is. the, is. the, is, is, is. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thr. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the three that could have done the final question. It's fine. You're confused. Look, Rob tells me all I need to know.

Well, I did the final question. Does that mean I was high up on the board? Did you do the final question? Yeah, I helped one to thirty grand. So why don't you shove, that's, R, R, R, R, tho, the, tho, the, tho, tho, the, tho, tho, the, tho, the, tho, the, the, the, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, the tho, tho, tho, tho, thrown.. thro, thro, thro, thooo, toooo. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tho.. You've got to do catch-raise John you'd absolutely destroy it. I've never done catch-raise. It's the same as strictly, it's not the show itself, it's the fucking bummer me of it all and the old getting on with each other. Yeah but catch-phrase is easy. You're in and out, it's made stone. You barely know you're there. I thought of you did strictly. If your daughter, to bring it back to parenting.

Yeah, so you've got one child, how old is she? She's nearly seven. So she probably watches strictly? She's getting into it. Not yet, no, but as soon as you said that, my asshole puckered a little bit because she will ask me. Do you think she is primed for the curse? Oh she'd take Anton she just wants out of marriage. Imagine if your wife went on strictly

and had an affair with Anton not even one of the young dancers a man older than you. Yeah but what a set of buttocks. I know that's the thing with dancers their ars Theirs are they are they is are they are they's are they's are they's are they's are they's are they's are they's are they's are they's ths are ths are thes are tho. They's tho. They's all tho. tho. tho. Do tho. Do tho. Do tho. Do thi. Do tho. Do tho. Do tho. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th th th th th th th th th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do the. Do thi. Do the. Do the. Do the. Do they're all the. Do they're they're the. I they're they're theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Do the. Do the. Do the. Do than you. Yeah, but what a set of buttocks. I know. That's the thing with dancers, their arses are unbelievable. They've all got massive arses that actually look like they're quite difficult to live with when they're not dancing. When we did ballet, me and Romesh, we just couldn't believe it. Just massive arse, basically. Oh is that what it is? And core. It's nice to get an insight. So you're going to join the judging panel? Yeah, that's a cracking power ass. I'm feeling confident the ass on that one there. Absolutely astonishing. Should do well. You've got a good ass though, Rob. You could do. I haven't got a good ass. Who do? Who do you think of the three people ever. I think you might go get into it John. I think you've got a bit of dancing in you. Yeah, that's the fear. I am impressingly competitive when it comes to it. I think you'd enjoy the dancing.

I think you'd absolutely hate the bit where you have to pretend that this is your dream. Well that's it, that I can't do and I can't do the being sad to see someone go, see later. Three left, Wallaq. The bit where they dance at the end and then all the other competitors come in and kind of give them a big heart. Yeah. You would be stood outside that. Like Ashley Cole on the Roma picture. I'd already be in the car.

The minute they announce the results. Through to next week. Right, see later. through to next week. See you later back into training, ice bath, seven in the morning. I'd struggle with the VTs they do each week, where they have to theme it and it'd be like, you're like you in a cafe or they'll go like, you're all sort of northern, aren't you John? You're like, no, I don't want to wonder at a coal mine just because I'm from the north. Thank you. It's that first show as well as well. their. they. they. they. they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. They're they're they. They're their. their. their. I. I. I do. I do. I do. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the. the. I'll the. I'll their their the their they're their. you're really pleased with the dancer you've got even though I mean they're lovely people but they're all sort of the same aren't they they're really dancers but you've got I'm so pleased I got Fabrizio or ever you get. I don't know if you'd get Fabrizio. Yeah. That's the thing is why I don't feel like I'd get on with my dancers I don't thinn't th their I'd I'd I'd I'd I don't their I don't th their I don't th th th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th th th th th th their their their th th th their their their their their- I don't their-I their-I their-I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they th th the the the the an the an theeeateeateeeateeeat's theeeeeat's they're they're all all they're they're they're they're they're they're they a lot in common with someone that's dedicated their life to dance. Good news, fellow. Yeah.

That's what I always think when someone gets struck by the curse, when it actually comes down. I don't think it's a mental attraction, is it, Josh? No. But when it's then March the following year and you're sat, she's not interested in any of the things I'm interested in. The Venn diagram of our interest is zero here. You're on the phone trying to get Russian TV put in your Sky package. It's amazing that they've got away with calling it the curse and it sort of implies that there's any bad luck to it rather than just you cellotaped a depressed middle-aged person to someone really fit for eight weeks. I'm bloody out what the chances I'm not believing again.

I think your daughter could fall short what I would say is you can do the Christmas special John which is like one dance so it's a week's worth of work and of work, and then your daughter's been there and seeing you do the dancing rather than weeks and weeks. Is there things you would do for your daughter TV wise? Do you know what? I want it now, I don't want us to get to a teenager and be asking me to do the voice. I want now to me than when she told her. These are the good years. She was going to hate me as a teenager anyway.

I do think like, I don't know how to say this without it sounding personal. You're the kind of dad that a teenager would hate. Ha ha ha! Where did that really nice? Pretty gentle with that actually Josh. Don't get in his head at all about that that his daughter's going to hate him. No, but I would say that I am as well. Do you know what I mean? I don't think I've got a hope. How to put this politely?

You're the sort of pathetic twice your children will lulls in about two years. No, but also that what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I what I, what I, what I, what I, what I, what I, what I, what I, what I, what I'm what I'm what I'm, what I'm, what I'm, what I'm, what I'm, what I'm, what I'm, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that is, that is, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. thi. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. that, that, th. that's that, that, that's that, that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that's there's dads that are perfect until they're 12 and then they're embarrassing. Do you know what I mean? But also that what I'm thinking Josh is saying is when they get to 1819 they'll realize that you're one of the good guys. But when you're a teenager, you're loading the dishwasher right all along for a reason. It'll all be oh he was right. Maybe he wasn't while the marriage ended. Maybe it was her. Maybe it was, mom. The parenting tip I give to all sort of new parents and the thing I read that made me feel best.

It's a really good one because you tell it to people, if people's kids are acting up, you say, oh, actually, if your kids are acting up in front of you, that means they love you, they know you're the to love their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their their their their their their their their their their tooomoomorrow, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their, their, their, their, their their their their to their to their to to to to to to to to toe, toe toeanor, toeanor, toeanor, toeanor, tooomeanor, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooom you're the safe place that they can be the worst version of themselves and they know you'll still love them tomorrow and it genuinely is true but it's also like it's a really nice way of getting out of that conversation where you don't have to say maybe your kids are just it sounds like you are not fair and to very. Yeah. And then I like driving, I'll pick her up from places. I'm quite practical. I'll sort of bills out online for it. Yeah, that's early 20s, I'll come back. Yeah, you'll come back in strong paying off that credit card.

Yeah, you're solid, aren't you? Yeah, that's it. Like my dad is good at, like when I was buying a car, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.? Do you know what I mean? Whack out the secret ice, there. Here we go. I think I started it when he were young, yeah, I didn't tell her, obviously it would have been new back doors. No, no, that's pretty really young. But I think, though, because the youth coming through, which you are. So maybe your teenage daughters, if you're like a Greta Tumberg type,

you're gonna be the apple of her eye because you're super into all that. Which I wanted to mention, we crossed paths by a day at the hotel in Spain. We both went to the bar to watch a football and I went to the bar to watch the football and I went, oh John Richardson's here, are you here with John Richon? I thought, what? And I was like, no, that's not us going on another day. Because we nearly bumped into each other at Alton's house as well. And then it turned out that you'd left the day I arrived from this place in Spain. Nothing personal.

And then you message back, I'm on the train. I was like what? He was like, oh I'm getting the train home because I've been looking to find a sustainable holiday destination in Europe that you can get a train to them from that because you live in Sheffield is that right? Yeah. So yeah you got the train from Malaga. From Sheffield to Malaga and back. And I was like blu- That was like how's Lucy and your daughter? They've flown without me. That must have been a joy, wasn't it? John, you're on the Orient Express home while your wife takes your kid on an easy jet flight. So the night I left, you can do it in two days. Did you get the train down there as well? I've got the train down, yeah. So we took our time on the way down.

We had like a couple of nights in Paris, a couple of nights in the nights in the nights in tha night tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha th our time on the way down. We had like a couple of nights in Paris A couple of nights in the south of France and then we sort of broke it up and that was as a family all together Where yeah, they flew from Barcelona to my life And I did Barcelona I did the whole thing in the train yeah, and it was just absolute Paradise and I built in so like the night I left I did Madrid the little sports bar and watch the the the the the the the the the the the the football and the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the football the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. tho. thou. thou. thoooooooooo. the the th. thooooooo. I th. I was. I was. So. and did an overnight in Madrid Went found a little sports bar and watched the football on my own in a little Madrid sports bar And then I had a night in the South of France the next night But the walk around Neem's got a little Roman amphitheater nice. Nice is one of those things where you have to sort of lie to your family about how good time to their family about how good time they're to the to to to their their to to to to their their their their to their their their their their their their their to their their their their time. to to to to to to to to their their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.. their. their. their. their. their their. their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their You have to be like, oh yeah, well, obviously it would have been nice to fly altogether, you know, it'd be more fun if you were here, obviously. However, this is the happiest I've been in years. How long was you away for? It took me two days, so

I'd set off on one night and then I did Madrid up to the South of France, and then the last day I did south of France all the way to toffield. So did you leave the hotel the same time as Lucy and your daughter? No, no, they got an extra night of the buffet. Oh, so you overlapped with Lucy but not with John Robb. Yeah. Yeah, their flight was delayed and they still got in a day and a half before me. Yeah, their flight was delayed and they still got in a day and a half before me because I didn't get the fucking train from Malaga. Malaga to Sheffi. I got all the way back and it genuinely lovely. Nobody talked to me on the train. I didn't have a single no one was sat in my seat. There was no delays. Did you have any night trains? Slea trains? No, I didn't I I I I I I I I didn't. the their. their. their. to to to to their. to to to to to to to to to their to to to to their to to their to their to to to their to to too. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their train. I was. I was their toe. I was. I was toe. I didn't want to share with anyone else and I thought well I've got time I'll just stay in hotels and I got all the way back and then I got the St. Pancras to Sheffield

and I sat on a table and there were two people on the table right opposite me having just got the train from London to Malagro and back was a B.A. Flight Steward And she said, I've just landed. I the the the the the the the the the the they. I've just they. I've just th. I've just they. I've just th. I've just th. I've just th. I've just th. I've just their their their their their their. I've just their fared. I've their. I've their. I've their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I've. I'm their. I. I. I. I. I's. I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm their. I'm their. I'm just their. I'm just the t. I'm just t. I'm just t. I'm just. t. I'm t. train. train. train. train. I'm train. I'm the the the the the the train. S. I'm off to LA on Thursday and then when I get back from there I'm going to Barbados for two weeks on my holiday. I was like, what a fucking waste of my time that has been. The woman opposite went, oh I'm off to Japan in September, it'll be my 29th visit. I was like, alright. And you're trying to save I've been completely wasting my time for two days. That's what I've been doing. And cost-wise, was it more expensive than flying? No, it's quite cheap. Each leg is quite cheap and you can do longer at once.

But it was lovely. Just get a bottle of wine and sit and read and look out the window. I watched their World Cup final on my phone. On my phone on the train because the dependable Wid. I I I I I I I I I I I the their. I's their. I's their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. It's is is is cheap. It's is cheap. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's tree. It's quite tree. It's quite tree. It's quite tree. It's quite tree. It's quite tree. It's quite their their their their their their text you I'm getting the train back. I would love to have seen your unadulterated instant reaction. I'm like a fucking train and I was trying to work out where you lived and then I was like my first thought was he take this kid on a train for three days like that was my first fault and then when you said Lucy and the daughter had flown I just pissed myself laughing. I was going to send her back and say well I like telling you what flights I had book going it's a waste of time John because I'm all over the gaff this year you might as well not bother. I think I was going to say the flight was going about you anyway John. Well I have had an experience where I was the only person on a plane

once. Yeah it was tow Ibitha or somewhere like that. So basically, the package holidays had all ended, so nobody was going out, but the plane had to go out and bring the people back for the start of term. So it must have been like September the 2nd or something. I was literally the only one of you sit on each side. I was literally the only one to sit on each side. It's worrying when you think, so you tell them if we both sit on the left this thing's going down. If you go to the toilet you have to walk across the aisle. Yeah, can you go and chat to the pilot while I have a shit? Because otherwise this thing's going to crash. And what did you say to say to your daughter, what, their, their, their, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if the the the they, if the the the, if we, if we, if we're, if we're, if we're both, if we're both, if we're both, if th. th. that, if we both, if th. th. tho, if we're, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we both, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we, if we're, if we're, if we're, if we're, if we're, if, if the they. they. they. they. they. they. th. that, if you're, if you're, th. th. that, if you're, th. that, if you Do you explain to her that you're trying to... Well, I said basically, the only way that you'll have breathable air in a planet worth living

on in 20 years is if we get the train. And I know you and mommy don't give me shit about that, but daddy actually really wants you to have breathable air in 20 years. But I did say, it's hard because, it, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, in trouble and it's their job to fix it And I don't think that's fair. So I just said I really like getting the train and My mom doesn't fly so I said I'm gonna research the train so that Nanny can come with us on the next holiday Oh, that's nice good. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can't to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the train. train. train. train. train. train. train. train train train train train train train train train train. train. train. train. I train. I the the and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cashback on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber 1 for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. El eligibility. the eligibility. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'm to to to thi. I thi. I to to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply.

If you're craving a getaway this fall, we invite you to explore the colors of New Brunswick. Here you'll discover festivals that celebrate our music, food, and people. Farmers markets that offer the best of the fall harvest, winery and brewery tours, and cozy overnights over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe... to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to.. to. to..... to. to. to.. to. to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toeooeanananan. tooeananananananananananan. tooeananananan. that encourage you to get a little closer. Our backyard is your playground and in fall it's a breathtaking experience. Start planning your New Brunswick Getaway at Tourism NB.CA. Why does your mom not fly for same reasons or Dennis Bird camp style?

No she had a really bad flight about 10 years ago. She had a really bad flight and that put paid to that. So now she just stays in and watches strictly. Do you think you found your sustain, or we won't say which hotel it is. I've not mentioned which hotel I stayed in. Do you think you found your sustainable destination? You'd have mentioned it if they were paid for your visit surely.

Yeah, absolutely, yeah. I loved, this also sent Lucy Mad. When I go on holiday, I pack my worst clothes. And then I leave them behind so that I take basically my shonkiest box and shorts that are all like ripped at the gosset. And then as a wear them, I just bin them out there rather than bin them at home. And then you make space in your luggage for like gifts. That's clever. Do you know what I don't do my full outfit but I do take a couple of t-shirts from like that's only got a few wares in it. Yeah. T-shirts get ruined the stink of sun lotion, sweat. They're horrible. So you took

your worst clothes. I took a picture one day because I used to have poker nights with Dan Atkinson Lloyd for Jason their up in Edinburgh. Yeah then I realized on ironically, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I their their their their their their their their their their their th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've tho tho. I've th. I've to th. I've th. I've got th. It's got th. It's got th. It's got got got th. It th. It's got got got got got th. It th. It's got got got got th. It th. It's th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I've th. I've the the the the the the the the to to to to to theeeeeea to to to to to to thea to thea' the. And then you used to dress like a sort of poker twaite. And then I realized, unironically, I've dressed the same way. I didn't want to take my nice sunglasses. I'll leave him on a train or something. So I found a pair. I think they're loose his mom When are you going to wear them if you're not going to wear them on a holiday? Also that was a nice hotel. You would have stood out like some sort of fucking high school shooter dress like that because it was all aesthetic white and stone and very

Spanish. I've got this like shirt that's too big for me that's got pugs on it and it's mint green. And I took a picture to send to Dan and Lloyd Roche, to say, to say, to say, to say, look, to to to they, they, they, they, the, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, to, to, they, they, to, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th. thi, thi. I's thea, thea, thea, thea, thuuu. thi's thi. I's tho, they. I's they. I's the oh look I've turned into the person I used to pretend to be and Lucy said, are you taking a picture of the day you stopped caring what your wife thinks? Yeah that was a tense moment. But then in this hotel because it's a sneak hotel on the last day they've put a little wicker basket in your room and it says anything you don't want to take put in this basket and we'll give to charity or recycle. Oh amazing. We didn't have that in our room. Maybe Lucy requested it. Yeah. Yeah, it is because that hotel's fully sustainable, isn't it? It's like, it's like it's like an eco-hote, which I've totally booked by accident, I don't give a shit. It's an nice little added bonus at the end. Yeah. How are you going to get to Hackney for your show at Hackney Empire, John? Private helicopter, I'm sort of offset.

I'm fine now. I've got the train to Malibu I want for the rest of the year. As you'll get the train. Are you excited? Yeah, I think so. I've enjoyed thi. She sort of understands me going away and she's glad when I get back. Has she seen you do stand up? No, she's remarkably not interested in any of the telly stuff we do. It is weird. We had a big thing like I took her to H&V once to see my DVD in H&B because I think to my generation that is like that's the sign that you're doing something cool.

And she just wasn't asked. I'm like I I I I I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that she just that that that she just that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the last, and then the same shop. That same too, and that's Debbie. So she just don't really care. I'm doing a preview of it tomorrow night and Lucy said, oh, should we go and she could like watch the first half? Ah, no, she can't. It's not like to talk about her, but there's a lot of hemorrhoid shy. Would you find it stressful? I'd just be ashamed of myself. The idea, whatever she pictures what I do for a living is better than the reality. Yeah. Because she loves sing.

I was like, well, that's sort of what daddy does. I go to the theaters and I put on shows. No, but she's not listening to any other content. She's just seeing a room full of people the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th thee, thee, thee, thee, the. the, the, theat, is the is the, is thee, is thee, is thee, is thee, is thee, is thee thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is th thi, is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi. is theat, is better theat. is better theat. is better is better theat. is better is theat. theat. Is theat, is theat, is better you want but that is a sold-out big theater you're used to it because you've played mega rooms but if she comes and sees you in a big theater it's so exciting as a kid clapping and cheering her dad I that. Yeah I think you should take her just to see it because she'll love it and then Lucy can take her off after 10 minutes. Have you had your kids come and to see you to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see their their to see their their their to see their to see their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to see their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the c.eater.eater.eats.eats. theater. the the theater. the the the the the the their their their their their their them come to see him in South End, and they sat on the side of the stage. They run out for the sound check and all that, and they could run around the theater, and they found that fun.

And then they could see the room filling up and the music plan. They just sat on their tour manager. And they just saw me walk out. to see a room full of people cheer for their dad at that age is quite special in it so I think it's well worth doing if you took her to HMV John this is a step up from HMV she's just not impressed because she can't believe that you're still thinking about DVDs as a format like what I'd say it's because you've got the Hackney Empire which is thrown maybe theymeat the world like what I'd to say I'd to say I'd they I'd they I'd they I'd to say I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd to they. I'd they. Well I'd say I'd say I'd say I'd say I'd say I'd say to to to they. I'd say to to they. I'd to to to to to to to the to the to the the to the they. they. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they I'd they I'd they I'd they I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd they. I'd th. I'd today tha. I'd took. I'd took took took the took the took the the. I'd the. I'd the. I'd to the. th. to one because that might be quite stressful, but you're doing loads of gigs, you're doing York Grimsby, which are quite near you as well. Yuc Barbican's a lovely theatre. Oh, York Barbacan.

You could take her to there and see that. I say what, I know it was on one of the early ones, but the way you've seamlessly got the plug-in for the gigs you've got in here, Ballmuff, Portsmouth, Bristol, Derry, Belfast. Are you getting a train to Belfast? I want to get the ferry, so my dad lives in Hesham. So the plan is to get the ferry because I also have a prop on this tour. I don't know if you know I've become a prop comic. I do a full sort of sequined dance number. Can you tell us what the prop is? Or is it a giveaway from the poster?

Oh no, it's not the little penny farthing, but it is a mode of transport. I arrive on a mode of transport in the second half. Can't get that in the overhead locker on a plane. Were you on a penny farthing. No, it was a it difficult to write? Were you in motion? I'm going to Malaga on it next week. It was such a tiny journey. For the poster, I'm leaning against the wall because he won't stabilize.

Right, right. But I did a day with Andy Hollingworth who's just, he just loves photography. He's an amazing photographer, but he also that day when I came to the studio he said I found out someone near me he's got a penny farthing and I wanted to say pictures of it so do you want to get on it also yeah nice it's just well he just seems to like being alive and stuff it's battling to be interested in things what's your daughter like because I think since we last spoke to you seven she's probably forming her personality now and she's got I'd I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to I to I to I to I to I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say to to say to to say to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th. I th. I th. I want the. I the. I want th. I the. I the. I want the. I the. I want the. I want the. I want to to th since we last spoke to you, seven, she's probably forming our personality now. And she's got, I'd say, two quirky parents. She's funny, she is really funny.

Yeah. I'm sure it is because of what we do for a living, but she gets the idea of making people laugh. I think all kids like entertaining. It's one of those things, whenever we're in a family thing they say oh she's going to be on the stage and I just think well all six and seven year olds like entertaining yeah it's a nice thing to do in it but she's really sassy like the changing cartoons from like the gummy bears of our generation to team titans go now she keeps calling me a dirty little vegan.

And it is really funny, but she's hilariously rude. And how would you feel if in 10 years she said, Dad, I'm doing stand up and I'm going to take a show to Edinburgh. And I'm flying. Yeah, from Sheffield International. Yeah, fair enough. I'd say, well, I've obviously. I'm pleased that you've seen me do stand up and realize that this is an art form that needs improvement. I can do that there surely. There'll be no Edinburgh Festival by then, I don't think sure, and that's not what she does to be. I think she will, if you ask her now, she wants to run a puppy parlour. A poppy bauler. But my wife has anyone who listens to to th. the show. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. I thi, the, the, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll th. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. the. I'll thea. I'll thea. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll thuler. But my wife, as anyone who listens to the show will know, she's a wonderful, passionate, impulsive person who does things that she thinks will

be fun and it's my job to think of the consequences. They're out now. What do you think of this? She... Well I think we know what you think of it before you start. She said, can I have a fablolololly. 10 o' the morning. Is this Lucy or your daughter? My daughter, yeah. Lucy just helps herself. We don't have a padlock on the fridge where we are now, I do it. You should just put it in the top drawer of the freezer. She said, can I have a fab lolly? And I said, oh, yeah, I told her she could have a fab lolly if she ate a pan or chocolate. She's bribing her to eat.

They're a treat, isn't it? Yeah, that's a dessert. She's bribing someone to eat what in itself is a treat. I think a fab streets of Kesi. On the podcast I do with Fordie down the dog. Oh it's your new one isn't it because you're not doing the fantasy football one? Basically sapped off the FPL. It's the same podcast but without the admin. Yeah. The football admin we have to pretend to be glad for other teams the teams when really the the the goes out of business. Also leads aren't in the Premier League anymore now so it's not fun for you. I can give a shit who wins out of loot and arsenal I couldn't give a toss

bloody hip switch away this weekend mate. That's a tough game you'll lose that. I'm the same as Plymeth or Gail for true I say. Because I'll be and Matt but I don't do fancy football so I wouldn't listen to the podcast but I would listen to it now because there's not all the FPL stuff. Download it now I can see your screen in your glasses. Yeah I could download that. I said we've been to so Alton Towers when you were there. Yeah I did a half on the podcast and then I worried I'd sort of lost a guy's job because there's a way of getting, you know, the big teddies. My daughter wanted one of their giant teddies. Oh, yeah, I keep losing on that, yeah. So what you do, you get to the park first thing. You're going like, literally as the gate's open. You don't go to a ride, you go to the very corner of the park,

to one of you can win the big thing so you just pay him cash for the big teddy you get in the corner and the guy will say to you if you buy three balls I'll give you a big teddy anyway so how much did you spend on the big teddy back a five because he just said if you have a go I'm gonna their kids they know then they their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they just they they just they they they they they they they they they they they they just they just they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to they they to to to they to they they they they just just they they they just said they just they they they just they they they they they they they they they they know then you walk around with it all day and suck as it does. Their kids go that daddy's won one why can't you win me once so you basically won them 300 quids worth of depressed parents. And do you feel all right about that? Yeah because I got a big teddy. How do you sleep at night with a big teddy?

That's how I sleep at night with a big ted? That's how I sleep made basketball in the hoop. Even though it's not round, it's a sort of oval but you can't tell us. That's what it is, dirty bastard. It's a fucking oval hoop, and it. Well that's it. So take tabloids picked it up like a parenting hack that will keep your kids happy and then I thought oh no this guy's gonna lose his job. Yeah and you're fucking trending on our territory you're not doing Premier League we're not doing fucking parenting shit right? What am I downed in series 1? Because it says you got series 2 episodes of? their? the series 1 because it says you got the to series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series series. to. they? No, it became down the dog sort of two episodes ago. So what series is that? You can go back and listen to some of the FBLL stuff if you like.

While Rob's doing that, John, I've got to ask, I watched Elton John with your wife at Glastonbury. Oh right, I thought you meant they'd done a show together. So I don't remember that. Was it a loyal to you? theyme. to to to to to th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, their, their, their, their, their, John, their, their, John, John, John, John, their, John, John, their, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, they, John, John, John, John, they, John, John, they, John, they, they, John, their, their, John, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their, their, their, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they, they. th. to imply it wasn't something you wanted to do with your weekend. No, I can't think of anything worse. And it's one of those like you've got a balance, things that are good for the marriage to do together. Yeah. Obviously she wants to go to Glastonbury. But I just said I will ruin it for you. It's just better that you go with people who will enjoy it. Have a good experience. John you're speaking. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. that. that. that. that. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, tha. And, tha. And,astonbury. So you was at home with your daughter then for that weekend? We went to Centre Parks. I would have rather done that than Glastonbury. I can't stay in Glastonbury. What do you hate about it, John? You've never been, John?

Do you know, the only point I was jealous was the pretenders. We watched a bit of the pretenders and that. And there's too many people pretending to enjoy themselves, aren't there? Maybe people are enjoying themselves. They're not, not as much as their face trying to tell you. Did you do Glastonbury the way my wife did Glastonbury, Josh, where you're sort of, you're staying somewhere very nice? And someone picturing you. Oh, did she's a bit more me. Just got me into a caravan behind the alternative stage. It was a little bit too swampy for me. The thing that got me

this year was the flags. There was a backmine game or like the Commodore 64 where you had to fly the back wing and you had to scoop all these methane-filled balloons. How has someone not got a drone to just cut all these massive flags that people have th got. Oh th got. Oh th got th got th got th got th got th got th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho the the tho tho tho their tho their tho their the. their the. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho-up. The th. The th. The th. The th. The the the the the the the the the the the the the. The the. The the. The the. The the. The the. The the. The the the the the the the the the the the the to the to theee theeeeeeee theeeeean. theeeeeee the the the the the the the drone to just cut all these massive flags that people have got. Oh, that'd be fun, wouldn't it? It's not for you, John. It's not for you. Yeah, absolutely. You kids go and enjoy yourselves. I was being proper grander.

You kids have fun. What if Elsie wants to go? She can't go with her friends, absolutely. And with Lucy? So she's 14 can't go 14 on her own. She's asking you, John, dad, dad, dad. Mom's working with Elton John again, but not a Glastonary, she's got another gig with him. I'm 14, I absolutely love Duolip and she's headlining the first time

Jewelipers headline Glastonbury. And I know for a fact that you can get us tickets and access to the good bits because you can do a set Friday at one o'clock and we can have Glastonbury together please. Oh I'll probably do it yeah I'll probably do it because I'm haven't seen for a long time. I'm the same as you join I'll have to give in and go but it's hard in it. It was the point where you said, if you do the gig, I was like, God, now I've got a gig there as well. Why would you do gigs at festivals? It's hard enough in comedy clubs, so you take away the walls and the chairs and the attentions family. I can honestly say now I will never be doing latitude again. And that's not just because they're booking policy towards me.

Not just because they haven't sniffed around me in eight years after I delivered they'd they'd they I honestly say now according to this email I will never be playing latitude again. Reading and Leeds is the worst thing in the world because you suddenly feel it's bad for me, but for you John. I feel 600 years old at Reading and Leeds. Yeah, well there's being a man who's never done V Festival. I did V Festival. I bet Rob fucking loved V Festival. I writ done V Festival. That's even worse. Oh, I did V Festival. I bet Rob fucking loved V. I wripped it at V Festival. The only time I've done better was at the Butlins Comedy Festival, where I fucking hoofed it to the point where poor old late night Gimp fight didn't know what day of the week it was. Not their fault,

but get Beckettin's. I think Jim Davidson and Brian Connolly were the only people that could follow that. That's my absolute bread and butter. And Davidson couldn't because you've done most of his material. Roll him out. Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who loved the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both, because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tastes like Miller time.

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Teachers Federation of Ontario. Oh can I say so about latitude quickly before we move on? Paul McCaffrey, talk about not being invited about. Paul McCaffrey won latitude, new act of the year in like 2010 where he went there and did the new act competition and won it, never got invited back. Maybe that's the prize. Yeah, you don't have to do it. If you win the new act competition, you don't have to play any festivals. This might be counterintuitive to people. You're quite chilled out in a way as a parent with things she can go to, things she can do.

Yeah, I think so. I don't know if it's because I sort of came to parenting late. I didn't think I was going to have kids. I don't know anyone who saw any of my material in my twenties. I want a big fan of the old people. I think they all agreed that they didn't think he was going to have kids in those early years of your stand up. Lucy was it changed you as a person, John. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their to to their to to to toe toe. toe. toe. toe. their their toe. I'm to have to have th. I'm th. I'm th. I was thi. I was thi. I was their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I thin. I was going tip. I'm tipe. I'm toda. I'm not today. I don't today, I don't today, I don't know. I'm today, I was. I don't today, I like getting out with her. I like doing stuff. Has it changed you as a person John? Yeah depressingly yeah it's hard doing comedy when you're sort of mellowing out. I think I'm done. I think this might be the last thing I ever do. I got the train from London back to Sheffield after I was exhausted and a woman sat next to me who just talked the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the the the the the the the their their. I their. I to to their. I was. I was. I was. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was toe. I was toe. I was th. I was told, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was th. I was th. I was toe of of th. I was a th. I was a th th thin, I'm th. thin, I'm t t t t tha thaaugh, t t t t t t thaea. thaea. than, tha tto me who just talked the whole, I had headphones in and she talked to me through my headphones.

Oh God. And years ago I would have been like, right, well this is going to be a bit, I'm going to do 10 minutes on you. And now it's just like, oh, she's probably just lonely and she's probably had a bad day. It's depressing being sort of me tho and th and seeing, and seeing, and seeing, and seeing, and seeing, and th and th and th and th and th and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thi, and their, and their, and their, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiii's thiiiiiii. I's thiii things. It doesn't make you a good comic. The best comics are the saddest. Yeah, absolutely just absolutely play people alive. Don't ever put the other side of an argument. Don't ever be rational or reasonable. Just absolutely sweep an audience up into your number of people who've come up to you and say, I love that afterlife. When he calls that kid a fat sea word. And you're like, I don't think I th that. I don't think I'd do that.

Too clever for you? Yeah, absolutely, too true. It's great that you're way more mellow now and like as a parent, you're really chilled and you're loving it, you're really enjoying all of it, where you're at 25. I remember reading your book, you wrote that book where you talk about and you lived in Swindon and all that and it was quite bleak in places and you really felt for you. I was really upset. I know it was terrible time for you, but how do you think, say for example, that you had a kid at 25 and you'd met someone who was in that house in Swindon and how you felt about yourself and your life and your job, how, how the think you would have been a parent at 31 with a six, seven-year-old compared to you now having kids later?

I don't know. I think parenting's really good at forcing you to look at yourself. And I think the one thing, not particularly keen on myself, but the one thing you do is you look at all your worst rates, you think how can I make sure my daughter doesn't inherit the things that I don't like about myself. And the one thing that I don't want to get from me is the sort of taking things really seriously and being meticulous about planning and all that. So I think when I'm around her, I just make such an effort to pretend I'm not that person. I'm not that person I'm not that person. to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm just just just just just just just just just thin, I'm thin, I'm tho. that. that. tho. tho. tho, I'm tho, I'm not that. thate. tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm not to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get thi. I thi. I thi. I thr. thr. I'm thr. the thr. thr. to the thr. the theat thr. the theat theat theat the. theat the. theat the. theat the. I the. I to me that because it's better. It's actually better not to be the person that I've been all my life. I don't want it to be me, so I'll just be someone else. It's easier.

But I think though you've got a warped version of yourself because you're so hard on yourself and horrible to yourself actually. And I met you nearly 15 years ago and out of 10 cats. It's still the nicest anyone ever been to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. I. th. th. th thin. thin. I's. thin. I's thin. I's thin. I was. I was. thin. I'll just just just just th thi. I'll just just thi. I'll just just to be just just to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I's. I's to be. I's to be. I's to be. I. I. I. I. I's to be. I. I. I's to be. I's to be. I's to be. I's th. I's just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just. I'll just thin. I'll just to be th to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to be thi. I'll just to be to be the th industry. Right, incredibly nice, John. On Caring as well, where you said, oh, first time on it, is there any subjects you feel stronger about, I'll make sure that we get that subject and let you get some jokes at early doors. And I was so scared and so worried and you put me at so much ease. And I've never forgot that. But I think you've always been like that.

But I think you've always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always that. that.a that.a that.a. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I that. I've that. I've that. that. that. that. that. I that. that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I've always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.. the. I've. I've. that. I've. I've. would never say, oh that was nice what I did at, you discounted that and it just went over all the horrible things, but I think by having a kid you are taken out of yourself and that you treat them like you treat other people you meet all the time because that's what you're like. And I think you just, it's almost having a daily reminder of actually, I'm a good person, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I'm a th, and I'm a thi, and I'm a thi, and I'm a thi, and I'm a thi, and I'm a thi, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm a thi, and I'm a ta, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I, and I, and I'm, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, t, t, t, t, t, t, taken, taken, taken, taken, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, polite and I care because you are actively doing that towards your kids. So I think in a way it sort of brought your own mind having a child. Yeah, well, that's very nice. I know secretly the reason I'm nice to people is because it's more that I'm scared of them not liking me. And I know the deep poison that lies what an awful person is underneath. I'm going to need a the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be their their their to be to be toe. toe. the the thoomk. the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoomeatroomeatroomeatroomorrow. tieauu. tiea. tiea. tiea. tieu. today. tiea. today. thoea. th. the. I. underneath. I'm going to need allies. The question I need you to answer though is having seen what's happened to him since, do you regret giving Rob Beckett that foot up? Oh absolutely, yeah. That was the time to put the

foot on his throat. If I could go back now I'd say we're going to do the Greek financial crisis first Rob and you better have some good gear on it. Can we talk about the World Cup? Well they used to put the newer comics on my side I think because I would do that. But that specific thing of asking what you wanted to open with, I've got a credit Jason Manford because he did that to me. And I thought I'm always going to do that because that's such a lovely thing to do. All roads lead back to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to their to their to such a lovely thing to do. All roads lead back to Manford. Once you've been on tele a while, you realize I've got nothing. The new person will have written loads.

Yeah, let them warm it up. It looks like a nice thing to do, but really you're saying, you've got to fuck all on this, mate bowlers and then you can come out later on with your actual jokes on something you want to talk about. Yeah I'm exhausted after 10 minutes of doing all my stand-up material pretending it was new written stuff as topic. Why don't you do your material to warm up the crowd now and once they're going I'll bring out my material that's the way it's gonna. I'll do some ad lips off the back of your hardly worked crafted stuff. I'll go from there. So it's so lovely to see how much you're enjoying being a dad, because from reading your book to seeing you as what have really chilled out, like fun dad, I know we sort of winded up with you sort of getting a training and stuff like that,

but you're a brilliant dad and you love your daughter so much. You can sort of see the joy you have from it It's funny book, a really good book, but I was like, God, this poor blood is not. It's not, it's not terrible. I got an email from my publisher. They emailed my agent saying, Can you tell John to stop slagging his book off? Because every time anyone mentions that book I've been a book I've been to be.

Yeah, it is a good book. with robots trying to tap into your website? That's my theory is I turned off at the Hackney Empire. It's just a row of like smart toasters. We're talking of the Hackney Empire. Yeah, there's only a few tickets left for that and that is going to be John Richardson is absolute best because you've got to TV already? Yeah it's going to tel it because as you pointed out the DVD market is dead. As for the VHS, that was a no-go from the start I'm told. So yeah, but kindly a channel that has stepped in to broadcast it because Netflix do not know or care who I am. Hackney Empire the 7th of September. Do you want to Steve write it? Do you like Steve writing it? Give it the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. The d. the DVD th. th. thee d' thiake. thiake. thiake. the DVDiedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedicedice. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. t. t. D. D. D. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. te. te. te. te. t. to Steve write it Rob or shall I Steve write it? Do you like Steve writing it? Give it a Steve writer. Grimms me the 14th, the 15th of York for September, 28th of September, York again?

He's bloody popular in York. Sulford Keyes the next night, Sulford Kis the night after bloody L'eld. John. They'll double up. Yeah, and I've already, my Salford and Manchester are very different places, John. You and I know that. Absolutely. That's why I put the Salford ones in to show due respect. Swansea Arena, Cardiff New Theatre, Sunderland Empire, Bournemouth Pavilion, Portsmouth King's Theatre, Bristol Beacon, Derry Millennium Forum, Belfast Waterfront, and then Stringer gigs in Australia, but there's a four-week break for you to get there. This is properly it as well. It's not one of those, I'm not touring like you lads do, where I'll stick a few more in. This is it, I'm done with the show. What's that like little snipe at the end? You tour for like four years, you guys. I think you're fine. Exactly, yeah, the demand is waning and my supply is getting caught right off.

There's no more. Where are you doing Australia? I'm not doing Australia. You're not? I was a joke about him, I'm flying. Oh, of course. You get the odd tweet, don't you? It's really upsetting. Sometimes someone are like, from some rural place, America, like, I'm in Kentucky, I think you're brilliant when you're playing it, you don't reply, like, you're the only person in Kentucky

who's got any fucking idea right I am. If I played Kentucky, it would have to be your front room and it would not be economically valuable. You should go to Australia, that's a great fun. I did do it, yeah. I got pneumonia. I caught somewhat on the play, I'm, I'm, I week when you do all the press so my run sold really badly. And then I had some nice work when I got back at cancel all that because it was the year

of the volcanic ash cloud. And they're stuck in Australia for a week to cancel all the other gigs here. Well it's been lovely to talk to you John. It's ended in the style that we, oh, should we do the final the final the final the final, the final, the final, the final, the final, the final, the final, the final, the final, the final, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to cancel, I to cancel, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll to cancel, I'll to cancel, I'll to cancel, I'll to cancel, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to cancel, I to cancel, I to cancel, I to cancel, I to cancel, I to cancel, I'll, I'll, I'll, and to cancel, and I'll, and to cancel, to cancel... to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, to cancel, I'll, I'll, to cancel One thing that you frustrate you about Lucy in the way she parents and if she were to listen to this, she'd probably got, actually he's got a point without it being an argument and one thing that she does and makes you go, oh I'm so lucky to have a child with this person. Is she done this then? She didn't do the positive one there. No, because we hadn't started doing the positive one there until someone mentioned we should and we thought we're not arrogant enough to not immediately take someone's advice as a format point straight off the back. The one thing, well she would say that she stopped doing this now

as well, but she used to do a thing where if she wanted Elsie to do something rather than I don't want to be like a wonky, you know you can't explain things to kids and like just be honest but I do think th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their their. I'm thr-I. I'm to to to to tooooooomu. I's. I's. I'm tooom-I. I's. I'm thoooooooom-I's. I's their their their their th things to kids and like just be honest, but I do think it's always better to just be honest and say no You can't have that because I'm saying no But Lucy would sort of do these ridiculous lies But if we were out she'd say oh, there's a sign there that the ice cream machines broken and now else he can't have FAB lollies until you've eaten or you piz. And now else you can read she's that's out out to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have that's not to have to have that. She's that's that's not that. I to have that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not. I I I I I to have to have to have to have to have. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the told. told. told. told. told me. told me. told me. told me. told me. told me. told me. told me. told me. told me. told me. the the told me. toilet, which is there that have the ice cream machines broken and now else he can read, she's had to stop doing it and it's really, it's really the marriage. And the positive thing she does is, poor, oh yeah.

So you're at Hackney Empire 7th September has been joined. If I've got an ability to chill and not take things seriously, it's because I've got it from her, because she is very, because she is just an absolute ocean of chaos, she's learned to be quite adaptable, and there's nothing like not having a front door key to make you realize that it's time for a fun staying hotel because you can't get into your house. If she loses one more key to our house, I think it will be the only people in the country who can't get into our house.

Maybe she's the person that's chilled you out and made just how happy John. She has that 25-year-old who wrote the book who thought if I don't use a coaster then the world will to to to to to to to to to the world to the world the world the world to the world the world to to to to the world to to the world. Maybe to to the world. Maybe to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to too. I'm. I'm. I'm too. I'll too. I'll to to to to to to to to too. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I'm the. I'm just just just. I'm tre. I'm just just. I'm tre. I'm just just. I'm true. I'm just just. I'm true. I'm just just. I'm just just. I'm toe. I has that 25 year old who wrote the book who thought if I don't use a coaster then the world will fall apart. The best thing that could have done to him is to marry someone who doesn't ever leave the house with keys phone or credit card and it's all right. It turns out all right. Do you think maybe you were wrong when you were younger? Yeah oh yeah I was wrong. Yeah I was wrong. Yeah but in a way that made that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I was that th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the. I was the. the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was wrong. Yeah, bang wrong. Yeah, but in a way that made me a better comedian. Luckily, you're still a top-level comedian and good luck with the rest of the shows. Pleasure to speak to you. Enjoy the rest of your holiday. Thank you very much. Nice to speak to you.

John Richardson there. I love John Richardson. Great guy. He is a nice man even if he claims not to be. Also, he's an incredible comedian and still very funny. I'd say probably funnier than he was when he was 25. And his book's really good. It's a little bit bleak, but it's really fun to read, I think now, knowing that he's really happy and chilled. I think if you read it, yeah. When it first come out, you might be a bit worried for his welfare. he can read it and go, oh, let's hope at the end of the tunnel. There's just a man getting drunk on a train from Malaga to Sheffield. He was one of those people that I respected so much that I thought, oh right, you have

to hate your life to be good at comedy. So I blame him for about 10 years. No, but you can just pretend to hate your life maybe? Was that the answer? I know, yeah that's what I'm doing now. Just pretending to hate your life? Just pretending to hate my life, it's much easier. Yeah, but what, for the podcast or just in person? Just every day. I think you're allowed to hate your life in moments. I don't hate my life. Yeah, I don't. I don't hate my life. I love. Love my life. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to. I tod today. I today. today. today. today. today. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I love my life. We're back on Tuesday for another hour of life that I love. And go and see John. I think the Hackney one would be good to go and see, but if you're not in London. Yeah, I should go to that, shouldn't I? You should just around the corner. Unless Rose is going out for some dinner. September the 7th. Oh, I'm free. Oh, I'm not. What you you doing? I won't be there, I'm filming. Oh, I'm busy. Yeah, Rob, it's one of the issues I've got. I can't say no.

See you next week. See you on Tuesday. Bye. Bye. Hello, I'm Giles Brandreth, and I'm excited to tell you about my brand new podcast, Rosebud. It's me talking to famous and fascinating guests about their first memories. There's Dame Judy Dench talking about her first love.

We were about six. I came up one day and he was sitting up on the wall and he said to me, I think we should call each other darling. Did you call each other darling? No, I don't agree. And Allison Hammondond not talking about hers. Who is your first proper boyfriend? This is very in depth, this is, isn't it? I'm not sure. This is going to be on Daily Mail. Come on, Allison, spill the tea.

She does eventually. That's Rosebud with me, Jazz Brandruth. Download and listen wherever you. Can't wait to share Rosebud with you.